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Mindeska Archive

View 0 posts and 371 comments by Mindeska on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
13

Honestly, all the women at my work with kids seem so frazzled and stressed out. And these are the ones with more high value husbands with good careers and who do take parenting seriously, not scrotes. And they're STILL doing way more than their share of everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 11:13 PM
19

It's so gross. When I was on dating apps at 28, I would get messages from men in their late thirties telling me they wanted to settle down soon and have a family now they were done with travelling and having fun, and they wanted a younger women to ensure healthy kids. Uhhhhh so they get to enjoy their late twenties and thirties while I get to have kids at 29, tank my career, have no time to myself and miss out on all the travelling and fun times they got to have? Who are the women who go for thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 11:12 PM
64

OMG YES!!! My long term ex was like this. Everyone thought he was such a nice guy but he was a spineless coward. Never called men out on being shitty to women, never defended me against a man harassing or mistreating me, would buy drinks for work colleagues he spent his entire time complaining to me about. Pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 11:54 AM
112

Yep, another ex did that to me. I did a three-month course which would improve my future career prospects and asked him if he'd cover half of my half the rent (not even all of it) and he bitched and moaned so much and acted as if I was being so unreasonable. It was literally a full time intensive, stressful course which meant no time to work at all, and this scrote I'd been with for EIGHT YEARS couldn't find £250 a month to cover half my rent. Weird how he had plenty of money to spend on drinkin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 11:55 PM
105

Then you get called a user and a gold digger. Which is funny coming from someone who expects a person on a much lower income to subsidise his social life. If we split a hotel room he'd otherwise have to pay for alone, or take a taxi he'd otherwise pay for alone, who is the real gold digger? I don't know how I didn't see this earlier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 11:50 PM
7

Are you still dating? I just turned 36 and feel more secure in myself than ever (financial stability helps a LOT with this) but also feel like it's a terrible age to be dating because most of the decent men are already married now, it's super hard to meet new people/friends (and covid makes this 100 times harder than it already was) and the men in my age bracket on dating apps are the commitment phobes or weirdos. Please give me some hope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 11:17 PM
360

Yup. Back before I knew better, I was dating a guy making £90,000 while I was barely scraping £25,000. He knew I was struggling to afford to even survive (I had a terrible time in the job market after graduating into the financial crisis...he was a few years older) but had no problem with expecting to split everything 50/50 because that was 'fair'. So he was amassing huge amounts of savings and a retirement fund, investing in stocks and shares and saving up to travel while I was struggling to pa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 08:14 PM
6

So what should we use? I've ventured back onto OLD and fuck it's depressing. I'm using Hinge, which seems to have a slightly better class of guy than other apps (I'm in London) but they all seem so aloof and indifferent, as if I'm supposed to impress them. Most of them haven't asked me out and the ones who have seem pushy to the point it's a bit concerning (messaging again if I haven't replied within a few hours etc.) Why can't anyone just be normal? You know, a few days of back and forth and if…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 06:50 PM
52

Right?? I remember being shouted at and told to stop crying and 'being a baby' when I cried and shouted because I was punished for something I didn't do. They said I was setting a poor example for the younger kids and I should really be more mature. I was six! SIX! Girls don't get to have a childhood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 05:50 PM
8

Yeah, the salaries in the US are insane. I wish I could emigrate there. Tech salaries here are generally higher than most other industries, but nowhere near what they are in the US and yes, we pay much higher taxes. I take home about £3000 a month from my main job after taxes, pension and student loan repayment, and half of that goes on rent and bills, and I've also chosen to rent a modest one-bed place in a not-great area. It just feels insane to me that £1000 a month in savings (which is the b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 09:41 AM
62

It's like they think women just automatically have friendships.....like, no. We have to work at them, and sometimes pretty hard. I had a male colleague try to whine about how lonely he is, and how lucky I am to have friends. Seriously, scrote? There's nothing 'lucky' about it. I moved to London two years ago at age 34 and had to rebuild my entire life from scratch. I knew nobody here. I joined a ton of Meetup groups and classes and made a huge effort at work to attend the after-work drinks and s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 09:19 AM
8

It's just drudgery. There's nothing about it to be respected and I find it pathetic when my relatives take pride in things like their drinking glasses being perfectly polished...like, we're given one life, a short time on Earth, and that's what you choose to care about? It's hard not to feel and show contempt even though I know it's years of cultural brainwashing and conditioning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:58 PM
7

I could identify so much with all of this. I used to work in such a role and it was mind numbing having to listen to the drivel that came out of their mouths. All they could talk about was celebrity gossip, office gossip and other pointless mundane shit. Any attempt from me to talk about current affairs or an interesting documentary I saw was met with derision, as if I had ideas above my station or was pretentious. It's so depressing how many women hold themselves and others down like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:53 PM
11

This is so true! So many women are like this. If you're a normal, rational person and keep your problems to yourself, they can't relate to you. You have to overshare and tell them how miserable you are so they feel better with their own miserable lives. You're right, it is trauma bonding. They don't want to hear anything good or anything exciting. They want to have a complaining competition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:43 PM
17

This is one of the main reasons I'm starting to think I don't want kids. A lot of these women just seem like braindead zombies to me. They constantly complain about their husbands and how useless they are, as if it's a badge of honour, and try to one up each other about who has the biggest domestic burden. It's like they lose their entire identities and all they can talk about is their kids. It's so boring. And these are women who are well educated and had stellar careers, and now all they can t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:41 PM
8

Yes, this is so true. It's so common in my culture and I absolutely hate it. I'll go to a family gathering and all the aunts will be like 'Mindeska, come and help in the kitchen' or 'take these beers in for the men'. I refuse to do it. I'm not a skivvy. I'm not a housekeeper. I'm not going to serve and wait on my male relatives as if they're better than me. If they want beer, they can get it. If my aunts want help in the kitchen, they can ask any of us. What I find pathetic is that my female rel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:37 PM
36

What do you do for a living?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:28 PM
40

I'd love to get some tips from you, because I'm earning pretty decent money in the tech industry and can't do any of these things. Maybe it's London and the cost of living here, but I had a few frustrating moments in my twenties when I was on shit money where I briefly considered lap dancing just not to be constantly broke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:28 PM
53

Saw some scrote on Twitter complaining that women 'live life on easy mode' because one woman was selling underwear to her OnlyFans subscribers. Yes, sure, scrote, being an objectified sex worker and risking stalkers and your videos haunting you for the rest of your life/career is totally 'easy mode'. There's a market for gay porn and OnlyFans too. These men could make money masturbating on camera and being fucked with dildos if they had a hot body and good looks, the way the women need to. Weird…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:25 PM
68

Exactly. It's so unbelievably expensive being a woman. Even for those of us who don't go OTT with the nails and make-up and whatnot, even a basic haircut in London can be over £100 for a woman, while men pay under £10. Stuff like tampons, moisturiser and other basic things really add up so that the average woman is easily spending over £1000 a year compared to the average man on grooming. And this is a very conservative estimate. So going 50/50 literally screws the woman over, because our basic …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:16 PM
37

I would have loved this feature a few years back. I basically had to stop using Tinder because this scrote was stalking me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:40 AM
11

Right? The reason it makes headlines when women abuse men is because it's so incredibly rare. There was an entire documentary I saw on BBC about a woman abusing her male partner. Yes, it's terrible, but what about the other 99% of cases? Two women a week on average are killed by their male partner in my country and we barely ever hear about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:39 AM
6

Right? The look on their face when they're clearly angling for a fight and you just say 'meh whatever' and refuse to engage. It drives them insane. They love to think women are overly emotional when in fact women are responding in a normal way to mind games and manipulation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:36 AM
9

I identify as bi but have always found it impossible to meet women. I think most assume I'm straight, and I've had no luck on apps. What am I doing wrong?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:01 AM
2

Yep. I remember feeling guilty when an ex said this, as if I'd done something wrong. The dude also started dressing like a history teacher from about age 27 (ill fitting, cheap polyester trousers with weird baggy shirts tucked in), got a beer belly and did nothing about it, and then was surprised I was turned off and didn't want to sleep with him anymore. What is wrong with them?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:01 AM
11

Haha thank you. It's so frustrating, isn't it? So much bait and switch. "Oh wow, I'd love to drive around Iceland with you/stay on an off-grid campsite in Mongolia/do a cookery course in Italy" and then when you're actually in a relationship, everything is too much effort and they just want to stay home and watch TV scratching their balls and eating Cheetos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 09:28 PM
16

It's so weird how much of a common theme this is. I used to think it was just me. I've always had huge dreams and ambitions and made the mistake of getting into a serious relationship at 23. All he did was hold me back and drag me down into his life of mediocrity. He acted as if all my dreams were ridiculous and unachievable, and anytime I brought up travel, he told me we couldn't afford to do it. We were in our twenties in one of the greatest cities in the world surrounded by all kinds of cultu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 09:02 PM
74

This is SO true. Almost all the men I've ever known have been incredibly dull. My main reason for wanting a partner is to have someone to have adventures with and I'm always let down. They always pretend to want that, at the beginning. They're always in awe of my travel stories and all the things I've seen and done. The places I've been. But when it comes down to actually doing stuff, suddenly, crickets. They're too tired to go to the climbing wall after work. They can't take time off work to go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:37 PM
42

The thing is, you still get abused and harassed by men trying to tell you how to be more appealing to them. They genuinely do not understand that everything we do isn't for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 02:11 PM
133

The worst part is that even if he agrees to all this, he can turn around and say no after the kid is born and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. I know so many women who were tricked into having children with promises of nannies and private school, only for the man to go off with another woman and leave them alone raising kids with little money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 09:21 AM
23

They also love to make absolutely everything about them. A general (and completely true and backed up by reams of data) comment about how someone less intelligent and educated than me in a previous generation could have bought a house in London = a personal attack on them. Because they literally think the world revolves around them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:44 AM
149

Reminds me of the stupid scrote who recently got offended by a comment I made about how much it sucks to be a millennial in this housing market. I wrote something about how someone in a previous generation who was less intelligent, less educated and making less money than me could buy a house just because they were born at the right time. This dude decided that my comment about intelligence applied to him because he'd bought a house.....like....if the shoe fucking fits?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 10:14 PM
110

Right? Most women avoid military, oil rigs and construction jobs BECAUSE OF MEN. It isn't that being on an oil rig at sea is worse than cleaning a hospital, it's that there's a hell of a lot higher chance of being raped when you're stuck in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 10:10 PM
19

It at least saves their ego so they're less likely to assault me or do something bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 05:18 PM
4

I didn't realise until well into my thirties that what I thought was a desperation for a relationship was actually desperation for a decent, stable living situation. Here in London, not being coupled up almost always means having to share with strangers, even in your thirties and beyond. Even renting a small flat usually needs two incomes, unless you're earning way above average. Once I managed to get a decent job and a side line which brings in reasonable money and was able to rent alone, my ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 05:11 PM
1

But isn't that irrelevant if she hasn't also posted her address?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 05:07 PM
118

100%. It's honestly not worth being rude to men because of this shit. It's easier to just ignore and silently mock in your head. I usually do say I'm in a relationship because it's the easiest way to get these mouth breathers to leave you alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 05:04 PM
13

I now purposely leave it a few days between messages because I can't stand real time conversations. I will reply when it suits me, and when I have something to say. I don't have time to sit there glued to my phone answering some scrote's questions all day long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:36 PM
14

What's really ridiculous is how many people, both male and female, pressure young women into settling down 'before you lose your looks'. If a man is only interested in me because I'm young and pretty, then he's not going to be interested in me when I age, is he? So I don't actually have a solid, secure future, I'm married to a superficial manbaby who will probably dump me when I'm 40. It seems much more logical to me to encourage women to wait as long as possible. A man who is interested in you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 09:28 PM
19

I agree, and this is especially prevalent in Northern Europe and North America. In a lot of Southern European countries, anyone under 30 is basically considered a kid. I went to Italy once to study at an Italian language school and the teacher was really shocked to hear that my parents hadn't paid for the course, and that I didn't live with them. I was 27!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 09:18 PM
28

The avoidant ones come running back at that point. I was once with someone who showed open contempt at any affection from me, but if I went cold and ignored him for a while, he would come running like a lost puppy. It was so draining. He was so emotionally damaged that he believed his behaviour to be normal, and thought that expecting to be able to be unguarded and honest with someone was 'clingy' or 'weird'. He truly seemed to believe that the push-pull and hot-cold dynamic was normal in a long…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 09:12 PM
22

Right. This is it. So many women make the mistake of thinking that going for an ugly guy means he will treat them well and appreciate them. It just doesn't work like that. Even ugly men are audacious and believe they deserve girlfriends with supermodel looks. I dated a guy a few years back who I got along with and thought we could make it work. He wasn't particularly attractive at all...he was balding a LOT, slightly overweight and just very average looking in the first place, but he seemed kind…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 09:07 PM
61

These LVM don't see it like that. This is supposed to be showing how they think women 'let themselves go' during marriage. They don't get that married women often start to look like shit because they're run ragged doing all the chores and all the work while their husbands come home and watch TV all night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 10:24 PM
27

Yup. This has happened to me several times on dating apps. I get some obnoxious text like '....' or 'hello?' if I don't respond in their desired time frame. It's so unbelievably rude and entitled to demand conversation from someone. They genuinely don't even see us as real people with lives, do they?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:57 PM
12

I think that's the point, though. Lots of men just don't seem to get that what they're paying for is company; they aren't owed damn shit. If I don't have sex after a date, he hasn't walked away with 'nothing', he's spent time with someone interesting and intelligent, and if he behaved decently, he will likely see me again, and eventually if it works out, we'll have sex. This is how this is supposed to work. Not 'I paid 20 dollars for your salad and glass of wine so now you owe me sex'. It's not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 12:12 PM
19

Right??? Some scrote on a dating app went berserk because I didn't message him back in his desired timeframe and accused me of playing games! Like, I have a very stressful full-time job, I'm training for a half marathon and I have hobbies including playing an instrument for which I do daily practice, and online language classes. I'm not sitting beside my phone 24/7 just waiting for some scrote to text me. They think because THEY have nothing else in their lives, we must be the same. Pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 12:06 PM
73

Yep...I started getting it at 28-29. Like of course I look young and pretty, I'm fucking 29? Now, I look younger than I actually am, so if it's a 'oh wow, I thought you were five years younger' type thing, that's OK. Or a man in his twenties thinking I'm around his age, fine. I get that from women a lot too. But anything like 'You look good for [age]'? Block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:58 AM
133

I think a lot of the time it actually isn't even a power game. They're just so arrogant and selfish that they think it's fine to just keep you hanging because they're 'busy'. As if whatever they're 'busy' with is just sooooo much more important than our silly women stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:56 AM
119

Right? Or 'you're actually really pretty', as if it isn't obvious. I've started answering back stuff like 'Thanks! You're....quite attractive....I guess?' They fucking HATE it when you do it back. How dare a woman have the audacity to play them at their own game? They get violent and aggressive and abusive the moment you treat them the way they're treating you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:54 AM
24

I don't understand how some women just don't see these things as the giant red flags they are. I had a guy on a dating app once tell me 'You're super hot but don't seem to know it...perfect for me to get you to do what I want lol'. He seemed genuinely shocked when I called him a psycho and told him to go fuck himself. 'But I was only joking!' No, no, he wasn't joking. A normal, genuine man's mind would not even go there. The fact the thought even occurred to him showed how he sees women as prey …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:51 AM
31

Yes! Why the hell do they do that? My last ex did this. He NEVER supported me when I was telling him about someone treating me badly. It always had to be my fault and I was always the villain. Is it a conscious way to abuse us? I don't get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 09:43 PM
61

Yes! How do so many men just not GET it? They want the sex, they want the companionship when it suits them, they want the pretty girlfriend to show off, but they don't want to do any of the actual work required in a partnership. Like, what the hell is in it for me as a woman? Absolutely nothing! My last bf said I was too clingy because I wanted him to come on vacation with me and wanted to see him more than two nights a week. What benefit is there for me to be in a 'relationship' like that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 09:41 PM
23

Oh yikes. I'm a big traveller and one of my main motivations for meeting a partner is to have someone to travel with. Is there any hope of finding one who isn't a sex tourist?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 09:07 PM
9

I was seeing a guy in 2019 who seemed really decent and I sometimes regret dumping him. He was easygoing, never aggressive or pushy, introduced me to his friends and family....lots of green flags. Except that he would often refer to himself as a nice guy or a good guy and I found it weird and arrogant. He was German so I wasn't sure if it was a cultural thing, but once he said something like 'the new guy at work must have been happy to end up with a cool manager' referring to himself...like who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 09:00 PM
8

Why is the third one bad?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 08:48 PM
28

I can't believe I never thought to do this before. It says so much about their character.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 08:48 PM
21

I genuinely don't get how women of my generation have that attitude. Like, sure, that's how it used to be. There was no birth control and women had few options. You got married young and you had sex with your husband and you would probably get pregnant. I do not understand at all how women my age who grew up with an array of contraceptive options and legalised abortion act like having kids 'just happens'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 08:35 PM
18

This is the thing. Some of the smartest, wisest women I know have not had kids. Some chose not to and some weren't in a position to do it before they were too old, but they all would have made great parents. Guess who has procreated? My dumb-as-a-rock, unstable, immature cousin who has never been able to hold down a job and needs welfare to pay her rent. It's always the way, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 08:33 PM
19

You know, I always wanted kids until I worked as a teacher for a couple of years. It put me RIGHT off the idea. Some of the kids were great. Some of them. Most were on a scale between "quite annoying" and "absolutely dreadful human beings." It was so much work. I also nannied for a family for a while and it was just draining how the siblings fought with each other constantly. I just don't have the patience for that shit. Being a teacher also made me realise how many kids have serious special nee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 08:31 PM
9

How did you manage to stalk them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 11:51 PM
5

This is why those annoying centre-of-attention men at work always hate me. They HATE that I don't giggle at their jokes and try to make them feel better when they emotionally dump on us about their problems. Other men aren't hated for this. Oh no. Other men are expected to just do their work and be serious and efficient. It's only women who have to stroke these silly men's egos and make them feel big and important and funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 09:29 PM
14

OMG yes, this is such a thing! I always pay attention when men I date tell me stories about how awful their exes were, because it was almost certainly a response to how they were being treated, and how I will eventually end up acting if I stay with him. I can't count how many times I've been told 'you're just like my ex'. Dude, it's YOU! It's YOU! If every woman in your life ends up going crazy and ranting or shouting despite having been perfectly fine when you met her, it's because of your shit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 09:21 PM
73

Right? And then what do you even do?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 06:01 PM
73

There are some men who do the whole self deprecating shtick though. One ex of mine went on and on about his small penis and how disappointed I was going to be, and he was huge. He had other issues like being a manipulative shitbag, but some guys do understate their size.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 06:00 PM
6

It's so weird, right? How are they all so deluded? Do they genuinely think single women can't find any man? I could download an app right now and have a boyfriend within a month if I wanted to. I'd probably even be able to find someone way better than most of their partners, but...why? Why would I want a boyfriend for the sake of it? I would not want to be married to ANY of my friends' partners. They are all people I would have ditched after a first or second date. All disrespectful, rude, shitt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 04:14 PM
6

I'm not overweight but have long believed that less attractive women have it way easier when it comes to men and dating. There's much more chance a man is genuinely interested in you if you're not conventionally 'hot'. I am considered attractive and it's almost impossible to weed out the scrotes who just want a hot girl on their arm. Even those who do pretend to be actually interested in me as a person often show their true colours later. I've actually started to make way less effort with my app…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 09:56 PM
77

100%. I laugh at all the smug pickmes on my social media. One of them is married to the most grotesque looking man...old, overweight, terrible teeth, cross eyed and also charmless and patronising, and she still somehow thinks she's better than me because she's married and I'm not. I genuinely don't think women like this even understand the concept of being picky or having the ability to be picky; they literally go out with anyone who shows any interest. The idea of preferring to be single than w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 08:57 PM
46

In his FIFTIES? Jesus Christ...I had a mental image of one of those sad hipster boys in their late twenties or early thirties thinking this kind of language ('fuckface') is irreverent and witty.....but a 50-something man?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 08:48 PM
38

Right? If a man legitimately believed his partner was truly annoying, stupid, rude or whatever, he would just leave. Abusive men dangle a carrot of commitment (or whatever leverage they have) to get the women to dance to his tune, but it's never enough. He'll say 'if you just talked less, everything would be fine', she could sit in total silence and then he'll tell her she's boring, or whatever. Because he never had a legitimate complaint in the first place. Men like this just pick and pick at w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 08:31 PM
40

Same but honestly, I didn't even grasp the concept of liking them back until I was over 30. Stuff that should just be a given, like kindness, manners and basic decency, was so rare that I put men who displayed them on a pedestal and thought I was in love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 10:29 PM
37

God this is so accurate. The bar is so low for men that something as basic as being listened to and respected seems like a novelty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 10:28 PM
4

Yeah, totally. Honestly I didn't even really realise until much later just how bad his behaviour was. I knew something was majorly off about him but I had totally swallowed all the stuff she told me about how sweet and kind he was. He did pay for everything (like, ALL the rent, the bills, food, etc.) and bought her presents, but to me, that did not make up for acting like a manbaby and sulking if she dared invite a few friends round for dinner. I met the dude three times in total and he left a v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 10:27 PM
24

Yep, and in general, men like this just don't appreciate anything you do. He'd literally keep score and boil with resentment if he felt my presents weren't good enough on his birthday (I earned less than him) or if he cooked dinner more nights in the week than I did. Meanwhile, everything I did for him went totally unnoticed. I didn't constantly bang on about it and demand thanks, I just got shit done. When we moved to Spain for two years, I did literally ALL the organisation. Every last bit of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 09:29 PM
23

Right? I wasn't 'taught' this stuff either...I learned it when I needed it...as a freaking teenager. No adult needs to be taught how to cook, do laundry or pretty much anything else, especially in the era of Youtube.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 09:00 PM
38

Right? My long term ex used to do this stuff and honestly...it was all about him. He wanted to feel like a good guy, and to look like one. He felt like he wasn't good enough for me and that these extreme acts of service were supposed to make up for it. The problem was I could never be grateful enough. No matter how many times I said thank you, he always expected more. If he cooked dinner, I had to compliment it multiple times, or he'd get this sad, hang dog expression. It was exhausting. It felt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 08:49 PM
7

They're still together over six years later, married with two kids. My friend seems happy enough...I don't speak to her often enough now to know whether she really is or not. She's autistic and seems pretty oblivious to her husband's vile behaviour, so perhaps she genuinely is happy with him? I think she might be one of those women who genuinely enjoys 'looking after' her man and catering to his whims because she prefers it to being alone. I just don't get how anyone could in all honesty. I just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 08:42 PM
64

100%. I went to dinner at a pickme friend's house about five years ago. She is one of those women who feels sorry for women who are single and always used to try to give me dating advice. She honestly believed she was great at getting what she wanted and not putting up with shit from men. She had just got engaged to a really shy/depressed man who was a software engineer who I hadn't met yet, but she was always raving about how great he was. I arrived at their house and there was just one other g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:13 AM
50

This is the main difference between men and women when it comes to dealing with shit. Women sort their own shit out. They go to therapists, exercise, journal, whatever it takes to try to better themselves and become healthier, well rounded individuals. Men just whine like entitled little babies and expect to be catered to and mothered by women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 09:48 AM
10

When you think about it, the fear of rejection is pretty much the ONE thing men have always had to shoulder. While women worried about their safety when going on dates, having to worry about getting raped or even murdered, the worst thing men had to fear was rejection....and they now can't even manage that. So now on top of worrying about our safety, we also have to spend forever and spend lots of money getting ready for a date (because how many men like hairy legs, greying greasy hair and an ac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 08:07 AM
5

It's so telling that these misogynistic scrotes always just assume that women don't have money. Like it's totally beyond their comprehension that a woman could have a good job, investments or property and want to find a man of a similar income level so she doesn't have to subsidise him. I'm renting an apartment as I'm waiting to buy a place and some guy came round to fix something, saw on the form that I live alone and basically asked how I could afford it. I told him it's quite simple - I make …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 09:22 PM
9

It's honestly laughable how they think women are using them for their pathetic amount of money. Like, why would I sit through dinner or drinks with some boring asshole to save myself £20? I have a side gig on top of a full time job. It's literally costing me money if I choose to go on a date instead of staying home and working, and my time is worth way more than £10 an hour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 09:08 PM
4

This is so fucking true. I've posted here before about an ex who called me a gold digger, seven years into a relationship where everything had been 50/50 and neither of us was making more than £30K. It was so fucking wild...looking back, his friends who didn't like me obviously put the idea in his head, but the level of disrespect was INSANE. I was really attractive in my twenties, better educated than he was, and this scrote had the audacity to call me a gold digger. I remember standing there, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 09:06 PM
21

Right??! 'Shy' is just an excuse for being an ignorant, rude bore with no social skills and no backbone. It's OK in a child but pathetic in an adult. I refuse to entertain anyone who says they're 'shy', in any setting. Go get therapy, sort your shit out and stop expecting other adults to do your heavy lifting is my general advice to them. I stopped inviting someone to my friend gatherings because she would literally say nothing, even when directly involved in the conversation. It was creepy, awk…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 08:33 PM
10

Men don't appreciate thoughtful gifts like that. They just don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 04:47 PM
12

Yikes...this is total pickme behaviour. I can't even fathom buying a man a gift unless we were an established couple and it was his birthday. I think almost all men would secretly find it pathetic for a woman to have spent money on a gift for a man they have just met once and not respect her, so you probably dodged a bullet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 04:45 PM
31

100% this. And these fucking scrotes always try to downplay the women's workload, too, or imply that it's her 'choice' to do chores and housework. I lived with a scrote who would claim that I was 'too fussy' and created work for myself, but if I didn't do it, it literally would not get done. I once refused to change the bed linen and waited for him to do it. After seven weeks, I finally cracked and did it myself. He saw nothing wrong with it. I stopped cleaning the toilet/bathroom to see if he'd…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:51 PM
119

There are so many of these arrogant scrotes in my industry (software engineering). They think they're so fucking clever when in reality, they got to sit in their rooms writing code all the time because they were never expected to do anything that girls have to do. When I got home from school, I had to watch my siblings for 2-3 hours, prepare dinner, clean up the kitchen and then do the dishes after dinner before I could even get started on my homework, let alone have time to code. Not to mention…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:39 PM
62

Yep. This is what I have been saying literally my entire life. Men get to be 'chill' because they just get women to do all the boring work and chores they don't want to do, while they work on their careers or just relax. My scrote of an ex told me that if we had a kid, it would be a shared responsibility and we'd split the work 50/50, and I asked, well what about the fact I have to go through nine months of pregnancy and giving birth and recovering from the birth and taking tons of time off work…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:32 PM
32

Right? I have met so many men who rolled their eyes at me for asking them to brush their teeth or use deodorant or shower more than once a week. That's how fucking low the bar is for men, that having a normal level of hygiene is not a given. I've always find it laughable how many men are so offended and shocked by some pubic hair when they can't even manage the basics of being an adult. Can you imagine if most women walked around with bad breath, unwashed armpits and genitals and greasy hair?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 11:31 AM
40

Yep, did that with my long term ex when we were in our late twenties. Helped build him up, took him out shopping to buy nice clothes, helped him buy nice fashionable glasses, style his hair better, helped him get through a course to improve his career, and what thanks did I get? As soon as his confidence increased, he felt like he could do better, and ditched me! Never mind that I had been attractive all along, and better educated and a higher earner all along, and loved him for who he was, men …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 10:03 AM
4

TBH I have lost patience with idiots like that. When did young women get so fucking arrogant? When I was that age, I listened to women 10-20 years older than me giving advice, because I knew they knew way more than me. Most 21-year-olds now act like they know it all. You see them posting in the relationship subs about how 'age is just a number' and 'the relationship is really healthy and great' and i'm like....how the fuck do you know that? You're 21! You know nothing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 09:56 AM
4

That's a mainstream view though isn't it? One which FDS doesn't advocate. But it seems to work a hell of a lot in real life. A woman pretending she doesn't want anything serious = man thinking she must be worth chasing and locking down. I'm in disbelief that this dude who spent literally years avoiding serious relationships has now committed to someone he had never even met six months ago and someone he slept with on a first date. I basically said 'I don't want anything casual, I want a serious …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 10:40 AM
9

See....this is what I used to think. I was seeing someone I really, really liked, but he refused to commit, refused to call me his girlfriend, so I bailed. It was painful to do that because I really thought we could be great together but I wasn't dealing with any situationship. He told me I was 'too pushy' and he didn't like being forced into things. He met someone on Tinder last August, was calling her his girlfriend by October and now they're engaged and living together. What gives? I don't ge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 11:46 PM
2

Mine turned grey at like 23 (thanks stress and trauma) and I've been dying it ever since. I think it's pretty ageing and I look better with my previous colour but it is a pain in the ass to keep dying it. Perhaps I should just let it happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 05:52 PM
62

I saw a comment on another sub about a man looking for social housing (free or cheap government paid housing) because he was apparently so mentally ill he couldn't work, but wanted it ASAP so he could start a family with his girlfriend. Imagine being such a worthless piece of shit loser that you're just SO sick you can't work and have to live like a parasite, but are perfectly capable of maintaining a relationship and starting a family. It's disgusting. I understand some people are genuinely men…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 05:45 PM
37

I always feel shit when I use them. And like, a sense of despair. I have never met a HVM on one. Just creeps who refuse to delete the app once we're dating for some bullshit reason ('I don't want to lose our early conversations!', 'I never look at it anyway'). They seem to attract losers who are never satisfied with anyone they meet and are always looking for someone 'better'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 05:41 PM
1

Because housing costs are super expensive here. It's a massive privilege to even have the option to rent a one-bed flat - most single 30-somethings here are sharing, and it's still expensive. It's one of the main reasons anyone bothers with relationships. Yes, it is a bigger problem, but what can you really do about it? The only solution out of the high rent trap here is to buy a property, but that's also really difficult to do alone. Especially if you're spending half your income on rent. I jus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 06:42 PM
1

Sure - my point is, the dude is dangerous or he isn't. Marriage won't change that. You seem to be conflating multiple different points. Not wanting to move in with a man before marriage because you think that will make you a forever girlfriend is a totally different thing to not wanting to move in because you think he might hurt you. Again, I do not believe being a forever girlfriend is detrimental because I don't value marriage and I don't live in a country where marriage gives you any particul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 05:33 PM
1

I think the laws must be very different where you are. Over here, if you're married and your husband stops paying the mortgage, you are totally fucked. Happened to my cousin and she's still broke with terrible credit about 15 years later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:58 PM
1

Have you actually had to live like that, though? It's easy to say it but there is a massive power imbalance when you're living in someone's basement (I don't want to feel like a teen living with parents when I'm in my thirties) and way too much potential for passive aggression and tension living with roommates. At least with a romantic partner you already know you like them and you can be direct with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 10:32 AM
1

Wouldn't you also be responsible for the whole cost if he skipped out on paying, though?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 10:29 AM
10

That would be my ideal situation, but it's really hard to continue this kind of set up when you reach your mid thirties. Almost all my friends are married or in long term relationships living with partners. The very fortunate ones bought their own place. I'd have to take a risk on a female roommate and hope we got along and tbh I've had several disasters with people who seemed cool and then turned out to be crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 11:33 PM
4

What do you mean? Like get on the mortgage and pay towards it each month?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 11:31 PM
66

So many Peter Pans out there. Is adulting really so bad? Why do they insist on acting like teenagers until they're 40?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 09:18 PM
14

OMG YES. I've had so many nice girly evenings wrecked by predatory scrotes who came and sat next to us uninvited, wouldn't take the hint to leave and then pulled the 'this is a public place, I can sit where I like' shit when we eventually just told them to fuck off. One audacious scrote asked us why we were even out drinking if we didn't want to meet men...WTF? Like he genuinely couldn't comprehend that we just wanted to hang out together and catch up, and we had every right to do that. Ughhhhh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 12:58 AM
13

They never think it's creepy. They are so totally deluded that they think it's normal for men in their thirties to hang out with teenagers and get so defensive when you point it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 12:54 AM
6

OMFG the entire tone of this reminds me of this low value friend I once stupidly dated. He was waaay into his thirties and went on some round the world trip where he basically hung out with people 15 years younger than him and thought he fit in with them rather than being borderline predatory and creepy. He met a 19-year-old in Japan he got obsessed with and couldn't stop talking about how 'cute' she was, and it turned my stomach. He thought I was jealous because he had this younger woman who wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 12:52 AM
66

They don't consider us people. It genuinely doesn't seem to register that we are actual human beings with hobbies and interests. There is so much I want to do that 10 lifetimes wouldn't be enough. It's pure projection. They see sad single low value men who can think of nothing else to do than go to the bar and get drunk while boring the poor bar staff with their stories and they think older single women are equally pathetic and dull.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 12:43 AM
42

So true though. I know women who left long term low value partners in their mid to late thirties, and they all met new, better partners and are thriving and looking better than ever before. I see them on Instagram in amazing outfits showing off their fit bodies, expensive make-up and sunglasses, posing in these amazing places (well, before Covid), running marathons and excelling in their jobs and laugh in disbelief that ugly scrotes think they give a single fuck about whether they have 'hit the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 12:40 AM
18

It's so wild how they just don't even see us as people, isn't it? It genuinely doesn't seem to occur to them that we're human beings with hobbies and interests and passions. Either we procreate or we just sit at home looking at the walls for 40 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:08 PM
19

Right? I mean, children grow up. It's common and normal for them to leave by the time you're 50 and barely see you after that. What a bizarre world view this dude has.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:05 PM
16

Right? I love how it's framed as some kind of awful nightmare scenario. Oh no - 40 years to travel and enjoy concerts, museums and galleries, take language classes and basically do whatever I want - who want want that when they could have a bunch of needy kids to drain all their money, energy and time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:02 PM
55

Same, from growing up with a toxic mother who guilted me and called me demanding for ever expressing a preference about anything. If I said I felt like pizza for dinner, I was told I was demanding. If I expressed any kind of strong preference for what I wanted to do on vacations, I was demanding. I remember on my own 21st birthday, I was yelled at for being selfish for choosing a Korean restaurant, because my dad doesn't like 'Asian' food. Yes, on my own birthday, I was supposed to still cater t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:03 AM
74

This is totally it. They truly can't fathom the concept of a woman being happy without a man. I remember this asshole I briefly dated commenting on how many hairstyle at the time (super short bangs - looked cute as fuck) wasn't attractive to men and him just being totally baffled that I didn't care. These NVM really think women make all their decisions about what to wear, how to look, what to do, based on getting approval from men. WTF?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:49 PM
24

Totally. I looked back at some photos of me at 28-29 yesterday and wanted to weep. I was so beautiful, had so much going for me, and was tolerated being treated like shit by worthless fuckbois and narcissists. I remember feeling so low that other women my age were starting to get engaged and settle down and I couldn't even get someone to commit to being a boyfriend. What the hell was wrong with me? Why did I care?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 12:10 PM
9

Yes this is so true! They so totally say they have empathy and show it differently! What's with the stinginess, also? I dated a tech bro when I was 29 and recently single who earned five times more than me, and insisted on splitting everything 50/50, even though I was struggling to get by. He'd want to take me to all these fancy places like cocktail bars, and then make me pay half the bill, so I was essentially subsidising what he wanted to do. Ugh. How could a man not feel ashamed and embarrass…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 10:30 AM
22

Ugh, right? What's with the low empathy and the coldness? I work in tech and have dated men in tech in the past couple of years, and they're like cold robots. Even the ones who put on a sociable front at work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 12:41 AM
15

It really is unfortunate to meet someone in your early twenties or younger. I remember back then people telling me I was lucky to have met the person who appeared to be 'the one' at such a young age. No, it's not lucky at all. It's shitty having to either let them go, and then wonder if you missed out, or keep dating them only for everything you described to happen. Lucky is meeting someone great at 28-32. Young enough not to be super jaded and worn down and still have time for a family if you w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 12:30 AM
17

Yep, this was me in my twenties. What a clown. He completely stifled me to the point of almost sabotaging my career. Refused to even contemplate moving to a place I'd have more opportunities and also refused to do long distance. Insisted on me being more 'social' and 'outgoing', so I wasted hours and hours of my free time and lots of money sitting around in bars with his stupid friends instead of working on improving myself and learning new things. I knew I was losing myself but figured it was w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 12:16 AM
12

Fuck, yes. Took me years to figure this one out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 12:08 AM
19

And as you said, a weak personality is a turn off in itself. I actually ended my last relationship because of this...I realised I just couldn't respect someone who was fundamentally lazy and weak. He was overweight because he never cooked and ate ready meals and takeaways every night, and only used the gym to go to the sauna and jacuzzi instead of actually working out. He told me how he'd moved to a new area so he could go hiking more....but then actually never went even once because he was 'tir…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 12:06 AM
14

And the truth is, most men don't even offer that. Maybe I could put up with all the shit if I had a nice house to live in, my bills paid, never had to worry about money but no, modern men don't do that because 'equality'. So now I get to do all the emotional labour, cooking, cleaning, planning, organising AND pay 50% of everything? Yeah, no thanks, I'm good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 11:55 PM
40

Right. Also, 'nice' is kind of a bare minimum. I expect 'nice' from strangers, from everyone, as default behaviour. If someone's selling point is that that they are 'nice', it's really a bit pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 11:48 PM
6

scrolled down until I found the truth. this is the truth!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 11:07 PM
21

I don't ask for it either. I expect it. I straight up say that if I'm dating someone, I expect exclusivity and won't tolerate any hint that he's still seeing other people. If he doesn't like that, that's fine. I'm not going to beg, but I won't see him again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 09:57 AM
116

How did he not get it? Men say women have no sense of humour, but most men on dating apps seem to be like this...sex obsessed idiots with low intelligence and no personality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 09:16 AM
4

You can totally do it! I still haven't been able to buy an apartment (London prices are INSANE) but my big goal was to live alone without roommates and fill my place with things I love and it's amazing to have been able to do that. If anything, this pandemic has made me even more grateful for the ability to just travel on a whim. I always knew I was lucky but maybe didn't get just how amazing it was to be able to just go to Madrid or Paris or Rome for a long weekend. An old friend would invite m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 04:36 PM
1

This is SO true! Any actually nice or decent man will not care about any of this stuff because he knows it doesn't apply to him!! Any truly decent man will be just as disgusted as women are that all this shit happens, and he will want to do anything he can to help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:49 PM
63

It's weird how you know, right? I remember being a young teenager and talking about how I saw my life at 35, and it didn't involve a man at all. I pictured myself living in a cute apartment full of plants in Brussels or Paris with a job I loved and taking cool weekend trips all over the place. Then I met my ex at 23, and ended up in a serious relationship for 7 years, and thought I'd actually get married and have kids. Now I'm 35 and single, and my life is way, way closer to that idea I had in m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 10:09 AM
19

I do mostly agree. I think age gaps where one person is under 30 and the other is 10+ years older are problematic because of the huge changes most people go through between 20 and 30. I don't think 30 and 40 is a really as much of an issue, and it becomes less and less of an issue as people get older. When I was 29, I would have considered a 24-year-old man too young for me, but now at 35, I'd date a 30-year-old. I feel like 30 and 35 are pretty much the same life stage, whereas each year in you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:07 PM
15

Yeah, it's like their brain breaks when it occurs to them that women are humans too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:03 PM
22

Yep, especially below 30. Every year of your twenties is a super steep learning curve. Most people change more between 20 and 30 than any other time in their life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:02 PM
34

No, but you can see through all the bullshit in your 30s. The slightest whiff of condescension and I block and delete (or walk away, IRL) so fast their head is spinning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 10:59 PM
23

No, he'd just rant about what a bitch and a gold digger she was. This type of men has no self awareness and never learns. Better to just block and delete and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 10:55 PM
39

This is absolutely horrifying. So sorry you went through this. Actually makes me never want to date a man ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 10:50 PM
2

Ocean swimming must be amazing. Everyone I know who does it says it's totally improved their mental health and outlook. One of my major goals is to move to the coast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:26 AM
4

God, yes, so much this. As an ADHDer, discipline and routine has done so much more for me than anything else. This 'be kind to yourself' stuff doesn't work when you feel frustrated for genuinely not getting enough done, and are wasting your life sitting around procrastinating. I bought a giant whiteboard and I schedule out the whole week on it. Every other day starts with a morning run, rain or shine, no excuses. It never gets any easy to drag myself out of bed, especially when it's pitch black …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:21 AM
14

She sounds like an empty vessel, tbh. I consider women like this lost causes. Let the LVW like her hook up with the LVM, maybe they'll be fewer of them left on the market.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:04 AM
26

This is SO true! I'm sick of being gaslighted by both men and women for saying that most men are LVM. They start all the 'if it smells like shit wherever you go, check the bottom of your shoe' bullshit, as if I'm the problem. They try to tell me most men are great and I just keep meeting bad ones, as if it's my own fault. No! I am NOT the problem and I'm sick of being patronised like that. I've been dating for years, I know tons of men through my male-oriented career and the truth is most of the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:02 AM
4

Oh, this sounds so horrible. You're so right about men who just don't respect your need for space. I had a long relationship where I was constantly guilt tripped for not giving him attention at all times. He truly believed that I was 'rude' for spending time browsing the internet in the evening after a long day at work. Browsing through blogs and forums was my way of relaxing from a demanding job. I would be so burned out that I'd get irritable and snappy at his patronising comments ('what are y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 10:35 AM
7

This just made me realise I've never been a relationship which was just 'normal'. It's either been codependent men who try to make me rely on them for everything and smother me, or avoidant commitmentphobes who don't want to let me into their lives or see me more than once a week. Why is there never a middle ground?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 10:26 AM
45

I was dating a guy I thought was a HVM before the pandemic kicked off and one red flag was that he'd dated a 20-year-old when he was 30. I think it was the only one and all the other relationships had been age appropriate but it was a huge turn off and has made me think twice about picking things up with him again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 12:43 AM
237

Gymnastics, too. They act like it's girls in leotards prancing around...it's a legit sport and it's brutal. But because it's mainly done by girls/women, men think it has no value. You see, a man kicking a ball around a field is a 'real sportsperson', and a triple twisting double somersault is just some cute lil trick /s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 12:34 AM
29

I was a super late bloomer relationship wise, and you know what...looking back, I was SO much happier. Yes, I did get lonely sometimes, especially because I was very shy and awkward at university, but I never had any drama, never cried, never felt sad. I just did whatever I wanted to do, spent a ton of time on learning and perfecting my foreign languages, I remember just feeling totally whole and content on my own, and enjoying my own company. I really only started dating because I felt like I '…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 12:29 AM
1

I wasn't shitting on anyone because I had a hard life. You first tried to blame the phenomenon of internet nudes on it being harder now than it was in the nineties to get a career and when that failed, you then tried to imply someone from Europe couldn't possibly have had a hard time in a global financial crisis. If you think it's cool for people to choose OnlyFans as a career because it's less work and more lucrative than other jobs, just say that and own it. Stop trying to blame it on a bunch …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 12:34 AM
1

Go continue applauding anti-feminist pickmes who choose to objectify themselves and gain all of their self worth from creeps on the internet telling them they're hot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 12:09 AM
1

No, I'm saying it's ridiculous to snottily go 'oh, Europe' as if being from Europe means we all live in some kind of utopia, and the US is some terrible place. As if there's somehow more hardship there. It's simply untrue. There's a reason there are thousands upon thousands of immigrants from Bosnia residing in the US and zero Americans clamouring to live in Bosnia. You might enjoy having your pity party and believing that life is sooooo hard there and us privileged Europeans just don't understa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 11:06 PM
0

Oh, I see, you're one of those Americans. The type who think 'Europe' is all Paris and Rome and women wearing Chanel and eating croissants. You know where I was born? Fucking Bosnia. One of the poorest countries in the world, let alone Europe. I'm part of an ethnic minority who were persecuted there, the first few years of my life were civil war, I had family members killed and tortured in literal concentration camps, we survived from humanitarian aid packages and eventually became refugees and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 06:10 PM
64

Laziness and selfishness. They'd rather have their kids hungry and malnourished than learn how to cook nutritious and filling meals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:49 PM
147

Yep. When you actually think about it, it's disgusting. I too was expected to cook meals for my family by the time I was 13 because my dad was 'tired from work' and my mother was working. What about my needs? My homework? Why did they think it was OK for a 13-year-old to spend hours every evening on domestic drudgery? My brother was never asked to do any of this stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:49 PM
1

That's not an excuse. I graduated into the 2008 financial crisis in one of the hardest hit countries in Europe. The degree I worked hard for suddenly meant nothing and I spent the next few years toiling in shitty menial jobs - literally cleaning toilets, cleaning hotel rooms, whatever I could get, while saving up money to retrain in something more lucrative. I spent my entire twenties in poverty and at no point did I think 'maybe I should just do porn or sell photos of myself naked instead'. I t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:21 PM
12

I mean, at least they're fully clothed. What I truly don't understand are subs like Gonewild, where very young women (barely adults) post nude photos and fish for compliments. I truly don't get it. When I was younger, anyone who did that would have been called a desperate pathetic loser. What changed since then? What is WRONG with this generation of young women?! We were raised to think that empowerment meant studying and working hard to get a good job and impress people with our intellect and a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:13 AM
6

OMG yes. I remember being at a bar where my recent ex was (broken up about 6 weeks earlier, from a 7-year relationship) for the birthday of a mutual friend and just being appalled at how he was behaving. It's as if the mist had cleared and I could finally see him for the obnoxious, insecure asshole he was. He was banging on the table and attracting attention to himself and making lewd jokes, and when the girl whose birthday it was asked him to tone it down because her parents were there and none…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:03 AM
131

And when you make yourself unavailable, then they come to you like lost puppies. Works every time. I really do think the only way to make things work with most men is to be detached and cold and make them constantly work for your affection. Being consistently kind and available just makes them take you for granted and treat you like a doormat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 11:18 PM
2

Right? It's so creepy and entitled. Like they think they can wear you down and you'll 'realise' how great they are. This dude, once I told him I was dating other men, started asking what they had that he didn't, as if I had to justify myself. It's like they can't understand the concept of friendship. What I thought were nice friendly beers or coffees with a casual friend were to him signals that I was interested despite having said the complete opposite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 10:30 AM
2

LOL. Were you actually dating? I've had that situation where the man literally made up an entire relationship in his head. I had told him I had no interest in him romantically, and I thought that was it. I continued to see him now and again as a friend for a coffee or a beer, and he started saying things like that to me, super condescending things like how he'd prefer me to style my hair and asking me why I was on the fence about having kids. As if he was screening me as wife material! I said "t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:43 AM
2

I love your nails. I'm not really into polish but that's such a classy colour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 10:13 AM
72

The sad thing is, plenty of women do. That's how these men get so entitled. So many pickmeishas out there trying to play it cool thinking they'll get what they want if they're just chill enough and wait it out. Then they get upset when Tyler unsurprisingly rejects an exclusive relationship with them and moves onto the next pickme fool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 02:00 PM
16

This is so true. I never really realised until the pandemic happened how much fucking TIME men and dating was costing me. Valuable hours of evenings and weekends I could have spent working on building my career, learning new things or doing freelance jobs. Men really do hold you back SO much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 01:54 PM
29

This says so much about male entitlement. 'Listening to problems and keeping her company" - bitch, that's what friendship *is*. They literally think they are owed sex in return for a basic level of friendship and being a decent person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 01:47 PM
2

Nah, some people are just lucky enough to meet their partner early on in life. It's truly amazing luck to do so and I wish more of these people would realise that. I had a similar relationship in my twenties and we did break up, and there was lots wrong with it, but thank God I insisted on doing stuff for me - a work placement in another country, time studying abroad, etc. I know women who missed out on amazing opportunities because of a relationship which later broke up....what a terrible waste…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 11:26 AM
17

OMG before I even got to the end, I knew he was going to be a tech bro. How are they ALL like this? I was dating one back in 2014 who said he was going to cook for Valentine's Day. He bought some bag of pre chopped veg and halloumi and put it in the oven for 30 minutes and boiled some potatoes and truly believed that this was 'cooking' and I was supposed to be impressed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 11:13 PM
12

I think a lot of men AND women have been brainwashed into thinking 30+ is 'old'. Most people don't know what 35 looks like. I remember a male colleague describing a new student to me, when I used to work as a teacher in adult education. He said something like 'she's around 35 now but she must have been beautiful when she was younger'. The student in question was 44!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 03:50 PM
30

Right??? They look about how men get better with age, as if they think average men are like George Clooney. Men who look after themselves very well get better with age sometimes, yes. The rest of them get wrinkly, balding, beer bellies and tired looking. The delusion is unreal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 02:58 PM
37

I also think it's wild how men seem to think women turn into old hags at 30. I get SO MANY MEN saying they can't believe I'm 35, and that I look so good. 35 IS young! Why would I look old? It's so much brainwashing of men that women over 30 are old and haggard. There's very little difference between being 28 and 35, both are 'young adult' ages. I barely look any different to how I did then and why would I?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 02:57 PM
7

This is entirely it. Men don't really get this concept, at all. They think any attention is good attention. They don't care if a woman is 'using' them for sex. It's all positive to them. They don't get that women are harassed and objectified every day of our lives, starting from as young as 11 or 12. It's not a compliment to us if a man is sexually attracted to us - in fact, it's often potentially dangerous. Then when people show an interest in dating us, we have to wonder whether they actually …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 09:30 AM
-1

You think 6 months to a year is enough to know if someone is marriage material? 6 months is barely out of the honeymoon stage. It takes a lot longer than that for someone's mask to slip.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 03:53 PM
0

My parents are immigrants and they encouraged me to do what the white British people here do. My mother always told me never to marry someone I haven't lived with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 03:49 PM
6

They even sexualise onesies. I've told men I'm wearing a onesie only to get a reply back like 'I'd love to be inside it with you' or 'I'm sure you look sexy in it'. It's so tiring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 10:33 AM
2

Right? What do they think women have access to that they don't? Do they think men are happy to sit and listen to women's problems and issues? They are definitely not. I go to therapy and it's expensive. They could do the same, but they're too lazy and/or too cheap. Could you imagine having the privilege of being born as a man, all the advantages that come with that, all the opportunities to work in high paid fields without dealing with sexism, not getting sexually harassed every day of your life…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:48 AM
5

It isn't a compliment. It's a power play. A compliment is someone saying something kind with no ulterior motive. 'Your hair looks pretty today' or 'where did you get that gorgeous skirt?' A man twice your size ogling your body and having sexual thoughts is not a compliment, and it's fucking disgusting that girls get gaslighted into believing it is. My own mother would minimise the sexual harassment I encountered on a daily basis. 'Oh, they just think you're pretty'. No, mom, they don't think I'm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:43 AM
5

Yep, same. I remember making a post about it on a forum a year or two ago and all the men there just gaslighted me to death. They said there was absolutely no way that men were beeping at and catcalling young girls on a daily basis. The fucking arrogance of men never fails to astound me. Rather than actually listen and learn about the reality of growing up as a girl/woman, they choose to believe we're lying. Like, why would I lie about that? What would I gain? It's fucking ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:38 AM
17

This is so it. I'm so sick of LVM and LVW asking themselves why I 'can't get a man'. I could literally have a boyfriend tomorrow if that was my goal, just to have a man. And I could honestly probably get an attractive, wealthy, smart one. The difficulty is finding a man who is a good person and who wants the same things and who is capable of being a true life partner. I've come to realise that it's not that other people are somehow better than me - they just have lower standards and put up with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:09 AM
31

I lived with a long term ex in my twenties and it was nothing like this. He was super clean and tidy, and did most of the housework and cooking. I wish I'd realised how rare it was and maybe I'd have reconsidered leaving. He was super lazy about vacation planning though. What is it with men and their inability to plan this stuff? He would just expect me to do all of it and say I 'enjoyed' it more. I'd book flights somewhere like Istanbul and he would do no research or any of the 'labour' involve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 08:46 AM
78

LOL dying. I first used OLD in my late twenties and it was incredible how many 40-year-old scrotes wanted someone to settle down and have kids with. Like, they get to have fun and enjoy their twenties and thirties, and then they want to rob a young woman of that? Instead of travelling and exploring the world, I get to marry at 28 and immediately have kids. Yeah, fuck that. I'm not a brood mare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 08:43 AM
50

God, yes, this is so it. Complaining that women are shallow and only go for looks, but having absolutely nothing else to offer. I also love how men like this expect hot women to be interested in them. They don't go for women on a similar level of attractiveness. They go for really good looking women and then complain about being rejected. The delusion is wild.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 08:36 AM
1

I mean, I'm 35, I've been saving for 15 years and I'll be lucky to buy at 40 (and it would be a tiny flat in a bad area). You're saying people in your city wait and save for a lot longer than that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:22 PM
4

I have never had a good roommate situation, ever. There are just way too many variables. Sometimes you move into a place because the people are nice, and then they move out and new people move in who are worse. Sometimes you move in with someone you think is nice and get along great and then they start dating someone awful and the atmosphere gets really bad. I've lived with people who have become addicted to cocaine, alcoholics, all kinds of things....why would you risk that and not just move in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:19 PM
3

Seriously?.....because living with someone I've vetted, known for a while and chosen to have a relationship with isn't remotely the same as some random Tinder dude a flatmate might bring home. And I've been in situations where it's different dudes every weekend. Sometimes gross, shady ones. I have never felt as unsafe as I did when sharing with female flatmates. I would love to have the option of moving in with a trusted friend but almost all my friends have settled down and are married, so it w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:02 PM
1

I'm living alone, and it's an enormous financial strain which is severely impacting on my ability to buy even a modest property any time in the next 5 years. Renting in the UK is terrible, you get treated like crap in return for paying out an enormous proportion of your paycheck in rent, but it's so expensive to buy that most people can't afford to do it alone. A totally ordinary, nondescript 2-bedroom flat on the street I live on now is half a million pounds. For a flat in a not particularly ni…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 05:33 PM
7

It isn't particularly a plan. I just don't understand the blanket aversion to it. I feel like there's an enormous amount of privilege on this sub from women who are fortunate enough to live somewhere where salaries are high enough and living costs low enough that living alone is a feasible option. Some of us in other countries simply do not have that as an option, or if we do, it's so expensive that it sets us back financially to an enormous extent. I'm 35 years old and have only been able to re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 05:26 PM
1

But you'd also be using him to have a cheaper place to live? I don't really get why it's so bad. I'd rather pay £600 all in to live in a well maintained, nicely furnished, warm house than pay £1200 plus all the bills (another £200) to live in a rented flat where nothing ever gets fixed in a timely manner and I'm treated like crap by the landlord/letting agent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 03:27 PM
0

I disagree with the FDS wisdom on this one. It's SUPER expensive to rent here in London. I would be way better off if I were paying half my rent and living with someone else, and that would let me save way faster for my own place. If I moved in with a man and didn't pay anything at all, I'd feel like that created a terrible power imbalance where I was living in HIS house and had no say in anything. In my eyes, paying money as a flatmate means I have a say rather than someone letting me stay with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:47 PM
3

And even if it was the woman, who fucking cares?! Why do so many scrotes think having been treated badly once before gives them a licence to treat future partners badly or become commitmentphobes? I've been treated horrifically by men in the past. I've been cheated on, lied to, gaslighted and even physically hurt. I don't get into relationships and say 'well sorry I can't be a good girlfriend, it's my ex's fault'. It's MY responsibility to make sure I'm healed enough to date. Why are so many men…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:38 PM
10

Yes, the idea that women over 30 are unattractive or no longer desirable is the biggest crock of shit men had us believe. I'm 35 and have absolutely no trouble at all getting dates or boyfriends, and get plenty of attention from men when I walk around. It honestly is complete bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:34 PM
11

I've said it on here before and I'll say it again. I'm out for myself, to save as much money as I can, as quickly as I can, so I can buy a place for myself. If moving in with a man is considerably cheaper for me than renting alone, I'll do it. I live in London, living alone here is an expensive luxury that most people can't afford, and it sets you back years re buying a property. The alternative to living alone is living in a shared house with a bunch of strangers, being at their total mercy reg…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:31 PM
12

Yup. Women like this need to take some responsibility for their own decision making and judgement, honestly. Imagine being so much of a pickme that you just say yes to anyone who shows any interest and overlook the most glaring red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:15 PM
24

Right? Like come on....this is really her own fault. Sorry if this sounds super mean, but if your pre-date vetting is this bad, you can't really complain that the date didn't go well. Most women would have blocked and deleted the moment he mentioned picking him up or going to Wendy's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 09:52 AM
7

I wonder what it is. Maybe the dudes who are still single after 30 are single because they can't compromise and are too used to everything being their way? The last guy I dated was fucking exhausting. Everything was a problem. I'd stay over for a weekend and hang my towel on his bathroom door, and it was 'in the way'. He thought it was 'stupid' that I changed into comfy indoor clothes (who the fuck cares?) He complained about the way I sat on the couch. Why don't these idiots just stay single if…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 11:55 AM
2

I feel like a lot of this people in this sub don't really understand how privileged you need to be to live alone in London (other other expensive European capitals), especially if you want to live anywhere remotely nice and reasonably safe. The choice isn't live with a man or live alone, it's live with a man or live with a bunch of random strangers (who may also be men), have little to no control over who moves in or out or who they bring home. And even if you live with women, they may bring ove…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 11:47 AM
13

Yeah, I find it hard to know as well, especially since I had a very long relationship in my twenties where we just got along and barely disagreed (not until the very end). So now it's like...am I just being unrealistic and overly demanding because I'm used to someone just always agreeing and doing what I want, or am I accepting being treated like shit by someone pushing boundaries? I can never really tell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 07:07 PM
33

It's weird because my first two relationships weren't hard work at all, and I never realised that wasn't the norm. There were obviously issues and they were crap in their own way but we always just...got along? It's only after I turned 30 that I understood what other people were talking about when they said relationships and men were hard work. Lack of communication, inflexibility, inability to compromise...it's exhausting. It really does feel like work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 07:05 PM
5

Yes, to be honest, this is worse to me. I'd rather be dealing with a 'meh' guy who wasn't super into it than some crazy abuser who love bombed me and fast tracked everything so he could control and abuse me. At least the lazy indifferent guys aren't likely to try to ruin your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 09:49 PM
28

I have a bunch of friends who got married after 7-10 years of dating, and I just think, what other reason could he have for waiting so long other than holding out for someone better? I can understand if a couple meets at, say, 21 and feel that they're too young for marriage, but these friends are 36-37 years old. And it's not as if they're the type who don't want to ever get married, because they clearly do. I could never imagine waiting that long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 09:42 PM
5

Here's the thing, though. We're told that if a man mentions marriage 'too soon' (say within 3-6 months) that he's insincere and love bombing. We're also told that if he waits over 2 years, you'll be a forever girlfriend. So what is the ideal time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 09:36 PM
3

This could work in some situations, but only if the woman understands the implications. Not putting in any money means you don't get any equity but it also means you can just leave whenever you want without any legal wrangling about selling or being bought out. If my choice in London is to move in with someone I like and have a comfortable home with nice stuff in it, or live in a shared house full of strangers with no control over who they bring home, or who moves in or out, I'd probably go for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 10:42 AM
8

Yeah, pickmeishas are so funny how they delude themselves. She thinks he 'let' her choose furniture and make decisions because it's her home too. He basically got her to do a bunch of work like browsing websites and choosing stuff so he didn't have to do it. He got a free interior designer basically, who would do a better job at decorating than he would on his own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 10:39 AM
6

Unless it benefits you, IMO. People have disagreed with me on here about this, but I would move in with a man if it benefitted me and improved my financial situation. I live in London and it's ridiculously expensive. Living alone in a one bed means my saving potential is greatly reduced and it will take me years to get a deposit together to buy my own place, if I ever do it. I could be adding about £1000 to my savings every single month if I shared with a partner, counting the rent saving, the b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 10:35 AM
21

I always laugh at these smug pickmes. It's like they look at us single women with pity and don't realise that their position is so precarious. When I was turning 30, I was living in a shared house with a woman of 24 who was so patronising about the fact I was still single (which in London is a bit pathetic - people settle down SO late here, if at all). She was like 'I'm so glad I've already found my partner so I won't have to worry about getting too old or having to use dating apps'. Bitch, I wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 10:31 AM
13

Probably not tbh....that generation of young women/girls seems incredibly fucked up. Look how many of them are doing OnlyFans....ruining their future prospects and lives to make homemade porn and nudes and kidding themselves that it's 'empowering'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 10:45 PM
29

I had a profile for a while (I'm bi and was looking to date women and explore submission) and I was so horrified by the profiles of very, very young women looking for older men, all of them with clear photos of their faces, along with bare breasts, genitals, everything. Even having those kind of identifiable photos online is risky and dangerous. It makes me sick thinking of all the degenerates looking to screw 16-year-olds who have very obviously been abused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 03:13 PM
22

Yep....major red flag. I also think they sound like entitled scrotes who resent having to 'waste time' chatting to women until they meet one who wants to see them in real life, and believe they're entitled to dates and sex right away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 03:09 PM
28

Are you in the UK? This behaviour is so common here and it drives me nuts. The last guy I was dating had some sort of issue with making plans together, as if it meant I was codependent (??!) He wanted me to make a plan 'on my own' and be happy doing the thing with or without him, and ask if he wanted to join, rather than my plan depending on him. He always said yes, so it's not as if he was waiting for a better offer or dicking me around. It was so fucking weird. I'm not codependent, I literally…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 03:06 PM
6

I wish I'd had FDS when I was 21. It would have made my life a hell of a lot easier, and better. I wasted so much time and energy on men that I should have spent on self development, hobbies and my career.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 12:11 PM
51

Oh yesssss, this so much. My first boyfriend cheated on me with a girl he met while on a trip to Germany, lied about it, and then when I found out and dumped him, begged me to stay multiple times. He called me 'one last time' to make sure I definitely didn't want to be with him, then (as I later found out) the next day started dating a 'friend' of his who had started hanging around him. This stupid pickme was so naive that she believed his lie that he dumped me for her, and that I was really ups…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 09:38 PM
27

Oh God, yes. I have had SO many people claim that they tried so, so hard to learn X language and they just couldn't. It's total bullshit. So many people just quit at the first hurdle when it gets a little bit hard. Some scrote told me that I have no empathy because I don't believe people can just be bad at languages. He said he's lived in Spain for over a decade, is married to a Spanish woman and has two children who were born there and he can't speak Spanish fluently. Can you imagine actually t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 09:45 PM
13

No fucking kidding but I saw a post on a forum from a man who is complaining that he feels 'left out' when his wife speaks to their kids in her mother tongue because he can't understand it, so he wants her to stop. Can you imagine being so much of an entitled spoiled overgrown baby that you would want to deny your own children the opportunity to be bilingual because you're too fucking lazy to learn the language YOUR OWN WIFE SPEAKS?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 09:40 PM
3

What were the yellow flags, if you don't mind sharing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 10:01 PM
3

Yes, every LVM I've ever known has loved girls like that. Basically because they don't want to do any emotional labour or invest the time and effort into getting to know someone, so they need pickmeishas who won't ask them for anything, will happily bang them on the first date and 'hang out' for months without defining the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 09:49 PM
2

Pickmes kind of deserve scorn tbh. OP has said the girl sniped at her by mocking her for being elegant, trying to look like a Cool Girl and put other women down for not being as chill as her (read: no standards).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 09:26 PM
1

I never fail to be shocked by how many pathetic pickmes there are in the world, but I guess I should not be surprised, because they are the reason so many men continue to be so low value, and get worse with each passing day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 09:19 PM
7

So cool you're learning Danish! What is your native language, and do you have a particular reason for learning?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 09:15 PM
56

Or if she actually does date him for money or security, he calls her a golddigger and a user, as if there's any other reason a beautiful woman would date some ugly broke loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 08:24 PM
249

This is SO SO TRUE! I met a male friend I was having a thing with pre-pandemic for lunch and drinks yesterday, and he did not hesitate to whip out his card when the waiter asked who was paying. He earns close to £100,000 per year. Meanwhile my scrote of a broke ex called me a gold digger for asking for help with my half of the rent ONCE, while I was doing a full-time course and had no income....we had been together for SIX YEARS. This fool who was earning barely £30,000 AFTER a promotion, who wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 04:17 PM
4

I don't think she even likes sex, tbh. She seems really indifferent to it, from conversations we've had. She likes her husband's company, they get along, I don't even know if they ever have sex, even. probably not often.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 09:02 AM
3

Thank you so much! I don't consider myself 100% childfree in that I'd consider having kids if I met the right person, but I've never seen it as a life goal. I'll go check it out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 08:25 PM
13

I hate when women say it. It's so demeaning and insulting. As if getting married is the ultimate achievement. I hate how our culture still revolves around celebrating engagement, marriage and childbirth over almost anything else. At my workplace, women who get engaged get cards and flowers and presents. Why??? It makes no sense to me at all. This year, I've gone from being a newbie at cycling to doing a 100km ride (with a lot of very steep hills!), I've had a promotion at work, won an industry a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 07:58 PM
46

This is the thing - broke losers with not a damn thing going for them somehow think it's normal to compare themselves to celebrities. What delusion and a lack of self awareness! They expect to get away with the same poor behaviour but without providing any of the status or benefits of a rich man. I know someone whose husband cheats on her and she turns a blind eye. She has a great lifestyle because of his money - amazing vacations, a beautiful house, designer wardrobe, eats at the best restauran…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 07:48 PM
2

I don't want to move in with family....I'm 35! Also, it isn't an option for various reasons. My only living option other than with a partner is living alone, which is what I'm currently doing. I'm not talking about settling per se. I would not move in with someone I perceived to be a LVM. I don't date poor men, lazy men, men who don't clean, etc. I just don't see the point in making myself poorer so I can follow some rules about not moving in before marriage. I don't necessarily want marriage an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 07:34 PM
27

Yeah, the 'happily ever after' really is such a crock of shit. I fell for it in my twenties, and then past 30 I was like....'wait...I don't HAVE to get married and ruin my body with pregnancy and then be run ragged trying to look after a house and kids?' What is happy about that? It's misery and drudgery, and only benefits men. I really laugh when people act as if being 35 and single is a bad thing. Yeah, I get to sleep 8+ hours a night, live in my own cute little apartment and have my own space…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 07:27 PM
8

Sounds amazing. Can I ask how old you are now? I'm also feeling like I'm just over dating right now, but I'm 35 and a little concerned that when I'm into it again, any option of having kids will be gone. That still kind of feels preferable to trying to do OLD during a pandemic though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:13 AM
2

I mean, I'm 35. I've lived with several partners. I have never had a major issue, and it certainly has never been any worse than living with roommates. I have never felt as unhappy as I have living with roommates, some of whom were the most disgusting slobs on the planet. When I was 29, I lived with a 40-year-old woman who used to pick her hair out of the shower drain and just leave it stuck to the shower tiles. Maybe I've been very lucky but I've lived with men who had no problem doing chores o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 11:47 PM
1

I don't want roommates. I've lived with dozens and dozens of roommates. I am no longer going to put up with random people and their shit, bringing partners and one night stands over and other shit. At least if it's my own partner, I'm not dealing with that, nor parties, nor waiting three hours to cook dinner because my flatmate is having some romantic meal in the kitchen, nor trying to live with limited fridge space and everything else. I cannot relax and it doesn't feel like a home to me at all…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 10:50 PM
2

I would still move in with a man but only to save myself rent too, so I can buy a place faster. I now see relationships as pretty transactional, which is I think how men have always seen them. If I meet someone, like them and get along with them then yeah, I might as well move in if I'm going to save almost £1000 a month on rent, bills and food. I could save so much faster and would also save time - for example, only having to cook every other night. Would always of course make sure my emergency…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 10:23 PM
18

Even the ONE dude who did seem to outwardly love me, I think it was more that he was super codependent and couldn't bear to be alone, and he felt like he wouldn't do better than me. Which in itself is kind of 'convenience'. Interesting that the moment he had a reason to feel superior to me in any way (he got a small promotion to manage a small team of people), he suddenly started acting like a total dick, being rude and sarcastic to me. Weird how high achieving, attractive women manage to treat …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 07:22 PM
13

Yeah, it's so fucking ridiculous that high maintenance is even an insult. Oh, I have standards and expectations about how I'm treated and expect people to consider my feelings and treat me with respect....WHAT A BITCH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 07:03 PM
5

I had overprotective parents who wouldn't let me learn to drive as a teenager and it has been one of the worst disadvantages I've ever had. They assumed I'd learn in my twenties, but it's expensive as hell here and I graduated into the 2008 financial crisis, so just did not have the money, nor anyone to help me practice between lessons. I tried to learn at 32 and got pretty far but then ended up moving country before I could take the test. I'm now 35 and still can't drive and it's REALLY hard to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 07:01 PM
23

I think twenties are too young for marriage. I'm sure I'll get downvoted to oblivion but I would never advise anyone to marry before at least about 28-29, no matter how long they've been together. You just change way too much in the decade between 20 and 30 to make that kind of commitment, IMO. If I could go back and do it all again, I wouldn't even date in my twenties, to be honest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:53 PM
25

Yep. I missed out on an amazing career opportunity because the scrote I'd spent the past seven years with didn't tell me he was planning to break up with me. He let me turn down the offer, presumably just in case he changed his mind about dumping me, so of course I was making my decision without the necessary information. They do stuff like this ALL THE TIME. They will happily ruin a woman's career or education if it means not having to be alone for a few months until they find someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 10:36 PM
39

God, yes, exact same happened to me after 7 years. I love how fucking arrogant and deluded these scrotes are that they think you can't live without them. Mine actually had the audacity to say he worried that I wouldn't be able to cope if he left me.....so his solution was to string me along for 2+ years knowing he was eventually going to leave. Like....did he think that was how I wanted to spend my mid to late twenties? Being strung along? I thought the relationship was an investment in my futur…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 10:32 PM
12

Cultural misogyny runs really deep. It's all total bullshit. I kind of suspected that all along but still had some really dark days in the year before I turned 30 worrying that it might all be true, and I'd die alone and miserable. I want to slap myself now for being so ridiculous and for wasting the last year of my twenties worrying instead of enjoying the fuck out of my life. I'm 35 now, and still attractive and have no problem getting dates. I've spent the last few years levelling up really h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 03:41 PM
7

This is literally it. LVMs are literally pointless. This is the one stick left they still have to beat us with in the hope we'll settle for them out of fear. They don't want to pay for us (that makes us golddiggers), they don't want to support us emotionally (too much work), they don't want to plan cute dates and little trips (too much effort). So what is the fucking point in them? They are totally redundant. I have a good job now, I can pay my own rent and my own bills. My career is advancing q…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 12:35 PM
43

A lot of women are brainwashed too. I went back to do a short university course at 30 and got so tired of the stupid comments by women who were 23-25. 'Oh my God, I thought you were like, my age'. I was like 'eh, that's because I AM about your age'. On what planet is there any substantial difference between a 25-year-old and a 30-year-old in terms of looks or style? Even young women are brainwashed into thinking that women shrivel up and look like old witches as soon as they hit 30. I also loved…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 12:15 PM
1

Hah, well, everything. I guess a common one is when I sense that someone is upset with me or offended, or something is just 'off'. I never seem to be able to ask if everything is OK without really irritating the other person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 08:43 PM
1

How have I never heard of these before? I even went to special therapy for my autism and everything!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 08:12 PM
24

I actually don't know if she did but it was so, so sad. He literally had everyone at work believing she was this pathetic, desperate, sad woman when in reality, HE was the one who was punching. I met her once and she was really nice, pretty (way better looking than him) and cool. Nothing like the woman he had described. I feel like it's so common for men to do this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 08:12 PM
1

Nope! What's that about?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:55 PM
2

Sure, but I know I do have a tendency to be too blunt - I'm on the autism spectrum. I do have to accept that people tend to misunderstand me because i am so direct.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:12 PM
1

Good tip, thanks! I guess I just need to make sure I phrase it 'nicely' so they interpret it as a genuine question and not me trying to fight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 04:06 PM
8

I can't even feel sorry for this dumb pickme. She knew he was in a relationship when they met and chose to date him anyway, probably because she thought she was so SPESHUL rather than some dumb bimbo who was willing to fuck him. Newsflash - if he cheated WITH you, he will cheat ON you. No exceptions, ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 03:59 PM
30

Totally. How can these losers live with themselves? Imagine being so useless and so pathetic that a woman would rather run a house and bring up children ALONE, often while also working full time, than be married to you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 03:52 PM
77

I had this turd of a coworker once who used to hit on every single woman at our workplace. The way he spoke about his wife was disgraceful. He painted her as this awful, boring emotionally unstable loser. One night when we were having drinks with all of our coworkers, this turd sat next to me (ugh) and started telling me how his wife was so crazy and so jealous. I was like 'do you think that might have something to do with the fact you hit on people constantly and are always trying to cheat on h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 03:50 PM
48

Isn't it hilarious how so many men portray women as being weak and not able to function alone when it's literally THEM who are like that? My long term ex was super patronising to me, always acting like he knew better and treating me like some incompetent child. He met and started dating his now wife 7 months after we broke up. Who the fuck does that? He literally thought 7 months was a fine amount of time to wait after a 7-year relationship ended (and he had dated casually and slept with people …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 03:47 PM
7

Oh, weirdly I actually am working really hard on learning to pause and de-escalation. I realised that a lot of the pain and misery in my life comes from my impulsive reactions (I have ADHD). My therapist made me promise to put my phone or laptop right back down after receiving a text or an email that upset me, made me angry or required a decision to be made, and spend at least an hour thinking it over before replying. It is already changing my life. What would have been huge text fights leading …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 03:35 PM
10

How do you do this? I also see danger when it isn't there, and think people are much worse than they actually are. How can you know the difference between someone just not being perfect all the time and someone genuinely being abusive or a bad person?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:26 PM
8

Oh shit, the whole way until the end I was thinking she was in her twenties. I feel like it's common to end up being a long term girlfriend in your twenties because it kind of feels too young to get married (here in the UK anyway). But 39?! That's actually painful. That means she met him at 32 when her chances of conceiving were still really high and has literally wasted her entire thirties on him. There's really no excuse for wasting a woman's time in her thirties if she wants marriage and a fa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 08:46 PM
5

Yep. It really does make you frame it differently and realise how truly offensive it is for a man to imply you're using him for food or a drink. When I get one of those last minute rush projects, I don't have time to cook, so I always order in food so I can spend the whole evening doing the work. My rate reflects this extra expense. I usually spend upwards of £20 on that food (a basic pizza with dip plus delivery charge comes to that in London), sometimes north of £30 if I'm really hungry and go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 10:02 AM
9

Yep. It's so easy that there's really no other option these days other than to trust the person, or just not have relationships. I still think vetting is worth it though. If he's brazen and thirsty enough to follow models and porn accounts on his main social media accounts then you know he's REALLY low value trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 10:58 PM
21

They literally do though. They have no concept of women not being as poor as they are. I've met so many men who think a £15 meal and a glass of wine is some massive big deal, then I go out with a wealthy guy and he tips the waiter £40 on a £200+ meal and doesn't even let me reach for my purse. Funny how rich men never seem to call you a gold digger. It's ALWAYS the broke ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 10:39 PM
20

Yes. I don't date poor men anymore. I wasted most of my twenties with a loser with no ambition, and my world was so small because he couldn't afford to do anything. No nice holidays, no nice place to live, no fancy restaurants, nothing. At 28 I still felt like a broke student. I was trying to level up and get into better paid work and he just kept dragging me down. As soon as I left him, I started making more money and doing better. He's now 37 and still poor with no ambition. He has a wife and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 10:34 PM
21

Why is it ALWAYS poor men who think women are gold diggers? It's so fucking bizarre that they think you want to sit through dinner with some bore just to get some free food. It's like they have no concept at all of other people not being as broke as they are. I was on a date last summer which was at a casual outside bar place and he went up to order our food and drinks, then the second he sat down told me he'd send me a Monzo request for my half. When he saw the look on my face he got all affron…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 10:17 PM
2

What a moron. Please update us on what he says next, haha (if you feel comfortable doing so of course).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 10:05 PM
6

It's such a pathetic, pickme attitude to feel sorry for single women. I've spent the vast majority of my adult life in relationships but it never occurred to me to feel sorry for single women or think I was better than them. If anything I admired their independence and having high standards and not settling for just anyone. I feel sorry for those sad 20-something pickmes wasting their lives 'making their man happy' by doing his laundry and cooking and cleaning while he's busy actually working on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 10:05 AM
19

Oh yeah, I'm well aware of scrote logic. The very same men who say I'm a pathetic coward for not wanting to walk alone at night would turn around and say I was stupid for doing it if something happened. 100%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 09:51 AM
3

It's the go-to insult from low value men, isn't it? 'No man would want to touch you'. They have so little self awareness that they can't see that that kind of misogynistic bullshit is exactly why this sub even exists. It is also funny because of course we are all dating and receiving attention from men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 09:46 AM
5

Yeah, it's so telling when a man thinks it's 'disgusting'. There are subs which literally promote manipulating, abusing and assaulting women, using women for sex and other awful things, and men think it's 'disgusting' that we want to protect ourselves from that kind of man? The fact that a man would consider women having standards, self respect and not falling for low value men's bullshit and manipulation 'disgusting' says it all about why this sub even needs to exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 09:43 AM
11

I mean, I do totally agree with you. I also think that the vast, vast majority of men are like this. They simply do not believe how common sexual assault is and how dangerous the world is for women. The whole 'me too' movement started because of this, and look what happened. Men made it all about them. Instead of listening to women's lived experiences and having an epiphany, they started bleating about 'not all men'. It's funny how men always think women are too sensitive when they can't take ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 09:31 AM
26

The lack of empathy regarding women's safety is truly incredible. Like, he probably thought he was being cute and witty because he was totally blind to the fact that the situation was actually really scary and unpleasant for you. He probably thought your story was funny, especially if you tried to make light of it (like a lot of us do when talking about something that was traumatic). Men just truly do not understand how intimidating and terrifying it is to be hit on, followed or harassed by some…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 08:43 AM
22

Well, I just left. He wasn't the type to keep chasing me after that - his ego was too big for that, minus a few really pathetic self pitying texts along the lines of 'I'm lonely' and 'I really wish you were here with me watching our show'. I wonder if it ever crosses these men's minds that they had a great girlfriend who was loyal and supportive, and they chose to break her and wear her down until she had no choice but to leave. Why do they have no self awareness?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 10:24 PM
42

OMG the exact same happened to me. My last bf I was so, so sure that he was the One. Handsome, attentive, intelligent, great cook, good in bed.....I really did believe this was my person. Then guess what, as soon as he thought he 'had' me, he changed. Started making snide comments and just being downright fucking cruel. Stopped asking me anything about my life or hobbies. Called me needy for wanting to spend time with him or expecting emotional support. What the hell is wrong with men? Why do th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 05:29 PM
2

She must have some serious issues to spend time washing a stranger's shoes. Do these women not have jobs? Friends? Hobbies? Books? I think even if I were stuck in a room with nothing but those shoes and a sink, I'd still rather just sit there and chill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 09:58 PM
3

This is SO true. As much as it sucks to deal with family issues and medical crises and bereavements alone, it's many times worse when you try to lean on someone and they're just not there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 09:01 PM
1

And me? I am so curious to know what you saw
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 08:26 PM
50

I never saw it like this in my twenties but it's so true. Going 50/50 penalises the poorer partner enormously and literally makes them subsidise the richer partner. I rented a one-bed with an ex in my twenties and we split the rent 50/50, despite the fact he earned more. We were both somewhat broke, but it was over 50% of my take home pay and only around 35% of his. He couldn't have got a one-bed or studio to himself for that money without me - he would only have been able to afford a room in a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 06:40 PM
187

I hate how women are always pressured into 'giving them a chance'. One friend was shit talking another friend for blocking a guy who stood her up for their first date. Apparently he 'fell asleep', and he wanted another chance. Why should she give him another chance? This was the FIRST DATE and he couldn't even manage to show up for it. What possible excuse is there? What grown adult can't manage to set an alarm if they feel super tired and want to nap?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 09:06 PM
16

Yeah...I was expecting her to say she had given them up to be with the guy. Sounds like she's totally set, so who cares about him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 07:27 PM
5

Really? I mean, he's a kid....isn't it normal for kids to eat like that, especially in the US? Even here in the UK, people will often get kids meals in restaurants which are cheese and tomato pizza or nuggets and fries while the adults eat nice stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 07:22 PM
47

What the fuck is with women who are cool with their partner being on apps during the relationship? The last guy I dated said he never deleted the app he met his ex on, and she was OK with it. What is wrong with these people?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 07:18 PM
2

That's just how it is though. Not that I ever lived off a man, but I needed to split the rent on a one-bed and split the bills. I feel like people on here forget that sometimes. It's not that women don't want to live alone, it's that many simply can't because they can't afford to. My choice in my twenties was basically between two super shit situations - stay in a dead relationship with my ex or move into a shitty shared flat with a bunch of strangers. For people who live in cities like London o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 11:27 AM
3

Even escorts who don't have sex with their clients charge way more than that. I'm a conventionally attractive woman who keeps fit and works out, I'm well educated and can hold a conversation about pretty much anything. I could sign up for an escort agency and be paid hundreds, if not thousands of pounds, to accompany a wealthy older man to events as his date. The idea that a £20 dinner and couple of glasses of wine should make me feel obliged to sleep with someone is absolutely hilarious to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 09:43 AM
92

The fact is that men love bitches. They do. The only successful, happy relationships I've ever had are the ones where the man felt lucky to be with me, and where I constantly reminded him of the fact. I made the mistake as I got older of trying to be nicer, more patient, kinder, and all that happened was I got treated like shit and disrespected. Men don't like feeling like you love them with all your heart and would never leave. It bores them. They take you for granted. I don't have the energy f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 09:48 PM
34

Good for that woman. What an inspiration! I wish I could turn back the clock and pour all of that time and energy I spent on men into my career and my happiness. I'm doing OK for myself now, with a good job and renting my own place, but I know I could be doing so, so much better if I'd been more career and money focused in my twenties, and worked towards being super successful and accomplished on my own instead of thinking my long term relationship would be forever. I think 30s can be a real 'di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:33 PM
1

They won't here, but it works differently, because healthcare is free at the point of care, so you pretty much get what they decide you're getting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 04:17 PM
2

They don't test for herpes or genital warts either, or the mouth. At least not here in the UK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 04:06 PM
21

Most women are pickmes who are afraid to hurt men's poor little feelz. This is why they are how they are, because those women are not doing us any favours. No STI panel, no sex. That's how it is for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 04:03 PM
41

I wish they would. I honestly believe that women not maintaining standards and boundaries is the main reason dating is terrible for all of us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:59 PM
95

I honestly think many men simply cannot get their head around a woman not being interested in having a man. I wasn't even slightly interested in men and never had a boyfriend before I was 23 (dudes would hit on me and I'd just ignore and deflect) and people were so confused about why I'd prefer to be single. I did decide to give relationships at try after that and guess what....almost all the pain and misery in my life has been caused by men. Lying, cheating, shitty behaviour, gaslighting, you n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:57 PM
13

To me, because it's a freaking given that we won't do anything I don't want to do. It shouldn't need to be stated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:42 PM
5

'Don't think it's gonna work'? He thinks a freaking lunch is too much for a date? What a total loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:38 PM
140

Why do these braindead scrotes even care what we say? It makes NO sense. If they want to date pickmeishas who will open their legs happily for the price of a beer and some chicken wings, then who the hell is stopping them? If they don't want to date high value women and pay for their dinner, nobody is making them do that. They are free to MOVE THE FUCK ALONG. Logic really isn't their strong point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 04:41 PM
169

It is so fucking weird. If I went on dates with 7 men and not one of them wanted to see me again, I'd wonder what the hell I was doing that was so off-putting and try to fix it. It wouldn't even enter my mind to blame all the men. It's totally wild that these people go through life blaming all their problems on other people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 04:26 PM
18

I was on a work call this morning and there was some small talk before the meeting started, and one dude was being all self deprecating about his lack of success on OLD. The guy is super overweight, wears childish slogan T-shirts (he's 36), has an untidy, messy and unflattering hairstyle...what does he have to offer anyone? He doesn't even make up for the looks by being funny or super kind. He has a bland personality and nothing to say. I genuinely don't get it. If I as a woman made that little …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 11:32 AM
70

Many men of this generation are so entitled that they feel affronted by having to work for sex. Men have always had the end goal of sex, but they understood that it was a long game. Courting women, dating, most of the time it didn't work out, then they'd find someone where there was mutual attraction and have a proper, long term relationship. This wasn't even that long ago, this is how it was when I was in college in the early 00s. Since the goddamn apps took off, it's just a shitshow. So much e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 11:13 AM
82

It's such a disgusting culture. I absolutely hate it. I blame low value women as much as low value men, to be honest. If there weren't so many pickmes willing to sleep with someone they just met, men wouldn't have this expectation. I've met so many men who genuinely think it's normal to expect sex on a first date because that's what they usually get. Women like this are screwing the rest of us over. They are breaking the 'code' that has existed for centuries, that women are the gatekeepers of se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 10:54 AM
179

THIS! A date is basically getting to know each other. If a man pays for my dinner, he's paying for my time and my company. Why the fuck do so many scrotes think they're entitled to sex because they paid for half a bottle of wine and a plate of pasta? If I were charging for sex, I'd charge a lot more than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:00 AM
34

Never thought of it that way but I guess it is true. I've always appreciated good morning texts, but only if they actually also had something to say - maybe a funny story of something that happened on their commute or some news or something. I dated someone who would send 'good morning, how are you?' every day without fail and it drove me kind of insane. Now I see it's because it was just empty and pointless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 11:17 PM
8

Ugh, I met my first bf at 22 and then went through nearly a decade of misery before I realised that men were actually the cause of most of it. I'm back to the way I was back then, and I honestly feel like this is the real me. Focusing on my hobbies and interests, getting plenty of sleep, no booze, lots of alone time. I'm still hoping to meet a partner, but he won't be the centre of my life. I won't let that happen ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 05:24 PM
31

I was naturally like this as a teen and young 20-something. Men just weren't on my radar, at all. When I was 18-22, I loved my independence, I loved my little room at my university, and my circle of friends, and all the hobbies and activities I'd discovered - Japanese and Italian classes, guitar club, yoga. I was just finding my personal style and would love dressing up in cute clothes to go to class, where almost all the other students were women, and going for coffee afterwards to discuss what…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 12:08 PM
15

It's ALWAYS broke dudes who have ever accused me of being a gold digger. I've written on here before about my ex, who six years into our relationship accused me of seeing him as a 'meal ticket' because I asked if he could pay half my share of the rent (on the apartment we shared) for ONE MONTH while I was doing a full time professional course for several months and had no income. We're talking a sum of around £300, which is roughly what this dude spent on drinking with his friends in any given m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 07:07 AM
4

How the fuck are so many LVM this entitled? Like, they truly believe they do or should have a chance with women who are far more attractive, accomplished and interesting than them without having a single thing to offer. It's freaking bizarre. Like the people who say things like 'there's no such thing as leagues'. Of course there's such a thing as leagues. I don't walk up to super, super attractive, super wealthy men I have nothing in common with and assume they'll be interested in me. I try to g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 02:04 AM
14

That's so shit. I'm so glad I never had to deal with that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 01:46 AM
120

Right???? It's truly pathetic. I've dated some duds, but ALL of them were super happy and grateful to be cooked for (like hell I was doing it every day, I did it when I felt like it), enjoyed the food with me, then washed up all the dishes. I can't wrap my head around going to the trouble of cooking for some dude (and some of those are HIGH EFFORT dinners) and him just taking the plate from me and continuing to game. Like, what the fuck? Why would you do that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 10:52 PM
3

Fuck, yes. When I read the title, I was thinking maaaaaaybe dude is a freelance writer, and maybe he got offered a last minute job, and he felt he had to take it because things have been slow with the pandemic and all. I sometimes used to have to cancel on dudes because of work stuff coming up at the last moment, and it annoyed me when they got salty, because none of them were offering to pay my rent and my bills so I would be free to go out with them. But JOURNALING? Fuck that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 11:11 PM
2

According to him, I was the abusive one, for 'yelling and screaming' at him. Because gaslighting someone who has recently been followed home and threatened, and still traumatised from it, and making them feel needy and pathetic for wanting to be walked home from the drinks date HE invited me on is just totally normal behaviour. Refusing to just say 'yeah you're right, I'm sorry, I was wrong' and keep fucking arguing until I was in tears is just SO normal. Screw all the fucking London pickmeishas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 12:10 PM
2

I fucking hate the men here in the UK. They have this idea about 'equality' meaning that they don't need to do stuff like walk women home at night, as if women being allowed to work and vote somehow stops us being attacked or raped. He then claimed that he wasn't judging me, and it was 'just a comment'. Like, what possible reason in the world could he have had to make that comment? What did he expect to come out of it? We had already had the entire conversation about how I was afraid to walk alo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 12:01 PM
21

Ugh, this is SO much like my most recent ex. He would be super mean and cold out of nowhere, and then I'd of course get upset, out of shock and sadness, and it would manifest as anger and betrayal, and then he'd tell me I was crazy and abusive. I remember once going for drinks with him and his best friend. I had gone to a huge amount of trouble to make the drinks, rushing out of work because he was so keen for me to meet this dude. We all had a nice time, it all went great, then out of nowhere, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 06:18 PM
5

Yes, it was a truly magical experience. I can't believe I ever tried to convince myself that a drab existence living in a dull London suburb, commuting to my crap dead-end job and never getting to travel anywhere was a life I was OK with. I cannot wait for this to be over and to travel more!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:19 PM
6

So happy for you too! My loser ex got promoted but is still on terrible money...he just thinks he's so important now because he gets to be the boss and order people around. Meanwhile, his wife's parents had to gift him money to buy a flat, because he's incapable of providing for his kid with what he earns.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:18 PM
4

Gracias :) It was super hard going, for sure! Probably the most brutal exam I've ever taken. I just tried to have a positive mindset about it, studied for a couple of hours every day in the month or two leading up to it, and stayed calm and collected. I did NOT expect to pass first time at all, so it was such an amazing surprise to get the results! It made me realise that I was capable of so, so much more than I had been doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:15 PM
13

So happy for you! That all sounds so amazing...I would love to start a podcast or a blog! Totally know what you mean about finally being able to afford things. I was scared to leave for the longest time because I was afraid I would be so broke and it would be horrible. Turns out that it is actually possible to save money for trips and hobbies when you're not wasting it all drinking with people you don't even like and your partner isn't spending all your money on expensive groceries because he's …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:10 PM
151

I was similar to you...my life only really 'started' after I got out of a dead 7-year relationship at 30. Suddenly I realised that I could just go and do all the stuff I wanted to do without some whiny dude dragging me down. Within a year of the break-up I'd visited Japan and South America, got a better paying new job and moved where I'd always wanted to live. Four years later, I was retraining for a different career in tech and learning to code, having achieved a bunch of personal goals, from b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 08:39 AM
17

Yes, it's the fucking time wasting that gets me. So many men just have no respect for a woman's time. Every hour that I spend with a man is an hour that I could have spent working, building wealth, working out, doing a hobby or learning a new skill. I consider time spent with men an investment in the future, so to have someone turn around and say 'I don't want to commit' is fucking infuriating and insulting. Then they have the audacity to say that dating is supposed to be a process to figure out…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 12:48 PM
14

Being in a bad relationship also feels WAY more lonely than being on your own. I remember the feeling of literal pain in my chest in my last relationship as we sat there in awkward, miserable silence because he'd once again told me that what I'd said was 'stupid' and 'pointless' and that he hadn't wanted to see me that day (despite saying 'yes' to my suggestion to meet up). I felt so lonely, trapped and sad. Being alone is lonely, especially during a pandemic when I can't see friends and family …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 12:25 PM
21

Right? Loneliness isn't great but I've never felt lower or worse than in an unhappy relationship. The payoff is terrible. I get asked all the time if it's not lonely being alone and having to go weddings etc. alone. As if being miserable EVERY SINGLE DAY is worth it so you have someone to go to weddings with. WTF?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 10:12 AM
26

Huh yes....what is with that? The last guy I was with would do that...claim he loved me and then not want to spend time with me, and wonder why I was miserable. He told me I was codependent for trying to organise a vacation with him and told me I should do stuff on my own. I literally spent 3-4 years travelling the world on my own as a digital nomad, and doing everything on my own. What is the fucking point in being in a relationship if you have to go on vacation alone?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:54 AM
17

I always thought I wanted kids but I swear I have been so put off the idea reading that sub. The thought of spending 9 months carrying someone's baby and then doing all of the childcare, chores, etc. for the next 18+ years and losing my own life and identity is totally soul destroying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 02:55 AM
5

Ugh. My last ex did this, and it WAS a red flag, but I already knew him through work, so I convinced myself that it wasn't as weird as some random dude I'd met on an app saying it. Within 1-2 months of us starting to date, he'd said he saw me as his future wife, and other stuff like that. I felt the same, so I didn't think it was that weird, but of course I never verbalised it at that stage. Then within 3 months, the negging and cruel comments started. Everything that had previously been cute wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:49 AM
61

This is the thing, right? The VERY SAME MEN who criticise single women in their thirties for being 'career women' and having no free time are the ones to expect to go 50/50 on dates. How do they not get it?! It's truly baffling. I live in fucking London. It's expensive here. Even the one-bed flat I live in costs over £1100 a month to rent, plus all the bills, plus travel to work (pre Covid)...do they think I can afford all this by working in a shop? I don't understand the level of disconnect of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:57 AM
2

I wish they wouldn't. And they're also always the ones who pursue you at the beginning. This dude told me a few months in that he wanted to marry me, and then turned around not 2 weeks later and told me how he didn't want to see me more than 2 days a week (like, ever) because he needed 'me' time, and all his relationships had been like that. Funny how he didn't mention that at the beginning. I can't stand the fucking bait and switch so many men do. It's almost worse than just being a total loser…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:03 AM
25

Dating apps are the worst thing ever to happen to dating. They are literally a haven for pickmes, all competing to win over a bunch of average to below average dudes. I can tell from the way men talk to me on them that they're used to pickmes trying to 'impress' them. I even had one guy literally ask me to 'impress him' with my knowledge on a topic we both know about. Are they fucking serious? Why would I ever want to 'impress' a man or compete for his attention? They should be trying to impress…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 04:07 PM
3

It's so fucking irritating when someone connects with ME and then asks me to tell them about myself, with no indication as to why I would want to do that. How entitled to contact someone out of the blue and then basically ask them to give you time for free. Funny how these types of men are so quick to call me 'rude' and 'aggressive' for replying in a 'sorry, who are you and why should I engage with you?' kind of tone. They literally think women are desperate pickmes who should be flattered by at…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 03:18 PM
10

It's just fucking bizarre. How can a 38-year-old dude be following literal children on instagram and not question themselves and their life choices? I pointed out that if he went to an actual gymnastics competition to watch these girls, people would think he was their DAD, because that's how fucking huge the age gap is, and that seemed to surprise him. Do these dudes never look in the mirror at their wrinkles, balding head and dad bod and actually realise how fucking old they are?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:49 PM
12

It's so fucking gross. I was dating a guy and he added me on Instagram. I checked who he was following and it's tons of accounts of swimwear models and 'hot' teenage girls and underage (16-17 year old) Russian gymnasts. I told him it was disgraceful and he acted as if I were some huge prude and told me no other girl had ever cared. Yeah I'm sure all the pickmes just fell over themselves to be 'cool' about it. No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 08:37 AM
3

I often come off as needy because of my autism. I need to know where I stand at all times, and exactly what's going on, and I think it can look to a lot of men like neediness. I don't really know what to do about this. Any tips appreciated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 08:28 AM
6

This is the thing, right? Why do they do that? My last bf was like a textbook HVM, treated me amazingly, took me out to dinner, cooked for me, deep conversations, just all around fantastic. Then he switched and started talking down to me, literally his voice dripping with contempt. He stopped being interested in anything I had to say, he considered my opinion worthless. Why do they do that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 07:39 AM
13

I always wonder why they assume you're even single? Most of the times this has happened to me, I've had a boyfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 07:20 AM
4

This is good advice and I'm following it (taking the opportunity to level up) but hard for those of us who are 35+ and hoping to meet someone to start a family. The timing of this goddamn pandemic could not be worse :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 07:19 AM
10

And then they turn around and blame you for accepting the drinks. I've had situations where alcohol has triggered an autistic meltdown (after MANY drinks) and the dude never, ever accepted any responsibility for continuing to order drinks and pour wine into my glass. I mean sure, yes, I am an adult and personal responsibility is a thing, but it's really fucking difficult to make good decisions when you're already on the way to being wasted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:10 PM
7

It also ages you prematurely, takes up a ton of time and the hangovers get so bad after 30. That's the main reason I pretty much stopped. I really enjoyed drinking because it loosened me up and made it easier to cope with my autism/social anxiety but I realised that it was just a crutch and that I was never addressing the underlying issues. I feel like I'm so much more level headed now, I have so much more time to spend on useful, productive things like learning new skills, sketching out busines…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:05 PM
20

I think it's sometimes almost worse to be conventionally attractive. I seem to attract a lot of men who want a hot girlfriend on their arm or in their bed and aren't really that interested in me as a person. And they talk a good game early on at pretending to be interested in my hobbies and getting to know me, but as things progress, they either start scoffing at my interests or plain stop caring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 10:54 PM
1

I never imagined being single at 35 but here I am. Met someone I thought was 'the one' last year and he turned out to be an abusive narc who basically abused me until he got me to leave first because he didn't want to be the one to break up. I feel like I should have learned by now, but it doesn't seem like I have. I'm on the autistic spectrum and so often doubt my own instincts and feelings and this makes me a perfect target for abusers and narcs. I'm wondering whether I should even try now. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 05:49 PM
2

God, yes. My last relationship was exactly this. Seemed so, so HV at first. Good job, handsome, super smart, really good cook, could adult. I felt like I had hit the jackpot so to speak, that waiting out for a good guy had finally paid off. Then the negging started about 3 months in. The snide comments, the implication that I was boring, annoying, needy. I asked that exact question - why be with me if you seem to dislike me so much? And I got bullshit answers. The real answer was, for the sex. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 05:25 PM
39

God, this one is so annoyingly common. How clueless and arrogant do you need to be that you think something isn't happening because you don't hear about it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:36 PM
10

Why is it ALWAYS the broke, cheap men who think women are trying to scam them by eating and drinking on their dime? I once went out with a guy from OLD who insisted on dinner rather than coffee, and then insisted on paying, despite me offering (because I knew I didn't want to see him again). We went to a nondescript, cheap Thai place and I chose a very reasonably priced main and had one glass of wine. Just to be polite and to avoid the confrontation later, I agreed to get a drink after dinner, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 08:09 AM
2

Isn't that where the pedo gymnastics doctor Nassar is from? Figures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 07:39 AM
51

So happy to hear all of this. I too achieved SO much once I'd gotten rid of the dead weight that was my loser ex. He always said we couldn't afford to travel...turns out he was spending about £500 a month on drinking/going out. Within weeks of leaving him, I'd gone to Japan for the first time, and I went to South America about 9 months after that. I was still on pretty low pay and paying even more rent than I had with him, but I could still afford to travel because I wasn't wasting money on poin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 09:06 PM
11

This is so fucking true. I had a male 'friend' a few years back who tried desperately to get with me after I became single. I kept turning him down, and eventually decided to give him a chance, thinking maybe I was being judgemental because he was short and didn't have a good job. What a huge mistake. Literally the VERY day we started dating, he started negging me. We were drinking at a bar and he got this silly smirk on his face and asked me why I styled my hair the way I did, and why I hadn't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 08:46 PM
5

or whose stupid hole, most probably.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 08:42 PM
50

Then why does he need to ask you? Why didn't he just quietly delete Tinder without making a song and dance about it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 08:37 PM
64

Maybe I'm a jaded old wench but this post was screaming red flags at me from all angles. In my experience, men are barely ever just nice and generous for the sake of it. There's always a price to pay. This sounds quite a bit like love bombing to me - the grand gestures, expensive dates and pushing exclusivity early on. As much as everyone here shits on the dudes who want to get beer and wings and split the bill, at least they're less likely to be controlling or abusive than someone who is going …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 08:35 PM
20

I actually feel sick when I think about it. I put my dreams and plans on hold because I thought we were building a life together. I turned down a work opportunity because he didn't want to relocate to that place. I accepted that he was too broke to travel with me. I thought I was investing time into both of us so we could both reap the rewards later, only for him to turn around the very second he got the slightest bit of 'power' at work and treat me like shit on the bottom of his shoe. It was su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 08:30 PM
3

I've definitely been there too because my toxic family situation meant I struggle to trust people and confide in people. I hope she sees sense and gets out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 01:46 PM
7

Yeah, same. It's just not worth it. They always have this attitude like the world is conspiring against them and they're so unlucky. Dude, no. It's not bad luck. It's the inevitable consequence of failing to be an adult. Your tooth is rotting and you have a painful abscess because you haven't been to the dentist in five years. You have to pay all your council tax upfront because you failed to set up a direct debit to do it monthly like everyone else does. Your flight is really expensive because …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:08 PM
9

It's pathetic, isn't it? I knew (wasn't dating) a man in his late thirties who had let his passport expire. I told him it might be a good idea to get it sorted, in case he needed to travel urgently, and he kind of scoffed at me and acted as if I was being anxious and silly. Told me he had no plans to travel anytime soon, and it was all fine. A month later, his dad had a serious accident back home and he needed to fly back, but of course he couldn't, because his passport had expired. Cue him comp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 11:31 AM
3

100% yes. I cannot believe the hours of my life I've wasted on dating apps and texting LVM. Writing paragraphs to men trying to explain why they hurt me, trying to explain what I needed from them. When I realised I just didn't need to do that, the sense of freedom was profound. I can now focus on ME and doing things that make ME happy. I can learn new skills, consume content that helps me and advances me as a person, I'm free to go and live wherever I want to without having to convince someone t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 11:22 AM
6

Yep. I find with men that if they're long term single, there's usually a reason, and if they have HV traits, it's usually because they're commitmentphobes and don't want to settle down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 10:24 AM
9

People from toxic families tend to choose toxic partners. It's quite possible they really are toxic too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 10:18 AM
182

I will never, ever forget the time my ex called me a gold digger. I met the dude when I was 23 and he was 25. He was still living at home working a minimum wage job. I encouraged him to go into the career he'd always wanted to, which was also low paying but something he was passionate about. We were together for six years and broke the entire time because he never had any money to do anything. I was OK with this and put my dreams on hold, such as travelling, thinking we'd be doing better in our …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 09:59 AM
10

Yep...my last ex was like this. Absolutely wonderful for the first few months, couldn't do enough for me, just amazing. Then after about 3 months, the insults started. Little digs about how 'annoying' I was, how I repeated myself too much, how I was childish and immature. Any time I asked him for help with anything he acted as if I was incompetent and incapable, when I'd been single for years and worked and travelled around the world on my own. I just didn't see anything wrong with asking for he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 04:41 PM
12

It's insane how many men feel used when they pay for a woman's drinks or dinner and she doesn't want to see him again. There's no obligation for a second date whether he pays or not. It's supposed to be a polite gesture, not some kind of weird way to make women feel obligated to see him out of a sense of duty and guilt. It's so incredibly offensive when a man who most likely earns less than I do insinuates that I used him for drinks or food. Like, maybe if these men were actually good company, t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 01:36 PM
10

Had this happen to me a few years back. Went out for coffee with a guy (unlike many people here, I do prefer first dates to be coffee or drink dates to dinner simply because I hate sitting through dinner with someone I dislike) and he paid and made a grand gesture of being like 'I'll get this'. Like....cool? It's a £2.50 coffee...I get those for friends and coworkers all the time without even batting an eye. Then he proceeded to hound me for a second date, acting as if I'd screwed him over to ge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 01:33 PM
20

Yep, this is why most of us just politely accept a number, or give a fake number. And then we get accused of 'leading men on' and 'not being honest'. Men really have no self awareness. Perhaps if I didn't risk physical or sexual assault, or at the very least verbal abuse, from turning a man down, I'd do it more often. But instead of blaming men who make it so hard for women to be direct and honest, they blame women for not risking their safety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 05:38 PM
12

100%! The worst are the men in their thirties or forties who want a younger woman to settle down and have kids with. I used to get so many messages from this kind of man when I was online dating in my late twenties. So they got to have fun and travel and party all through their twenties, early thirties or even later, and they think a woman doesn't deserve to get to do that? She gets to settle down and get pregnant at 27 and miss out on all the experiences he had....for what? What's the attractio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 06:25 PM
3

There are tons of guys who use these apps indefinitely for one night stands and FWBs. It's mind boggling that so many women are apparently fine with being treated like unpaid prostitutes. Like, why the hell would I want to spend my precious time hanging out and sleeping with someone who is going to be moving soon? What do I get out of that? I probably wouldn't even bother meeting someone as a friend if they were soon leaving town..what's the point??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 04:10 PM
17

I'd love to think that were true, but I dated in London in my late twenties and again in my early to mid thirties and it didn't really get any better. The decent men are SO few and far between that they get snapped up super quickly and/or don't need to make any effort at all because they have beautiful, smart, successful women throwing themselves at them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 10:45 PM
41

That's exactly how it is. The men literally just do nothing. The idea that we are all 'equal' has somehow translated into women doing all the approaching, all the initiating, putting all the effort into choosing date ideas and paying for ourselves. Literally what is the point? What are we getting out of it? I know so many beautiful, educated, interesting women in their thirties who have just completely given up on men and dating because it isn't worth the hassle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 10:20 PM
29

There are definitely places where men are more likely to approach, though. Like, I've lived all over the world, and in places like Spain, the US and France, I did get approached and asked out. It just doesn't happen here in London. I mean, honestly, never. Anyone I've dated here, I've had to chase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 10:04 PM
3

Yes! It's crazy how nice it is just to focus on doing whatever you want. I've spent time learning a valuable skill, which will hopefully increase my value in the job market, as well as a new foreign language and a bunch of fun little hobbies. Got into a nice fitness routine with a run every day before work and evening yoga. It's insane how much free time and headspace I have when not wasting my time and energy on men. I was seeing someone before lockdown and would regularly spend entire evenings…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 07:54 PM
43

I always found this a super useful way to screen out scrotes looking for an easy lay and/or dudebros with zero empathy for women and zero understanding of how fucking dangerous it is for a woman to go meet some complete stranger. 'I don't like chatting for days, we're here for dating, let's just meet up and see how it goes' Or maybe, jerk, I'd like to decide if you're worth my time before I meet you? The worst is when they try to gaslight and patronise you and say things like 'you can't really t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 07:47 PM
32

Exactly. It's not even a dating things, it's just basic manners. You don't invite someone somewhere pricey without checking with them that the price is OK with them, and if it isn't, you either go elsewhere or you cover it. I briefly dated this trash guy about five years ago who insisted on going to an expensive restaurant as a 'treat' after I'd told him I was broke and didn't want to go there. I said I'd be happy with a picnic on the beach (we were going to the beach for a walk, in the late aft…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 07:21 PM
7

There genuinely are a bunch of cool girls and pickmes on there, and I also blame them. Where's the incentive to be a decent person and commit to someone when you can swipe right dozens of times and eventually find some desperate woman who will bang you on the first date?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 08:18 PM
5

Where on earth are you going that you'll be on 45K a year teaching English? I did that for several years but the money was really bad. Are you going to Saudi Arabia or somewhere?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 01:48 PM
1

Yep, I did think that, but he didn't really seem like a narcissist. I've dealt with my fair share. He claimed that I wasn't respecting his boundaries or listening to him, and that he had to be blunt and brutal to get me to listen. I have been told that before, which made me think there must be some truth in it, but why just not be fucking transparent? Say 'hey, I love you and I love seeing you, but I need some time to myself this weekend to recharge' instead of begrudgingly telling me I can come…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 08:33 AM
1

Maybe, but it was a very weird way to go about it. Introduced me to his parents and sister, his friends. Planned and book a major overseas trip with me. Had a history of relationships rather than one night stands, FWBs or flings. I met one of his exes (from a long way back) at a party and she seemed to have a really high opinion of him, and told me we made a lovely couple. He accompanied me to the hospital a couple of months in for a minor surgery I had, waited hours for me in the waiting room a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 08:26 AM
4

I wouldn't say so, no. I tend to have a good radar for those, and it didn't go off. He spoke respectfully about women at work, his exes, his female friends. I wondered for a while if he was on the spectrum, but I don't think so. He can be perfectly charming and good company when he needs to be. It literally seemed like a switch flipped in his brain, and he decided he didn't like me anymore. And nothing I said or did could change that. He just chose to be abusive by grinding me down and upsetting…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 10:27 PM
6

To be honest, I agree. I was always so confused about how he had the audacity to say my conversation was boring when he did nothing but play games and code all day and drink with the same small group of coworkers, and talk about work stuff. The guy is incredibly intelligent. Like, genius level smart. Just couldn't even be bothered to fake an interest in any of my hobbies or my life once the honeymoon period was over. I'd ask him about what he was doing, even though it was incredibly dull to me. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 09:56 PM
8

Not long after that. It totally blindsided me, because this wasn't a stranger from an app. I had been kinda friends with him for a while, and we had mutual friends in common who introduced us. He always seemed very funny and kind. When we started dating, I thought I'd hit the jackpot. He was super reliable, happy to be exclusive and serious, and we had an amazing time together. Then I went through some hard personal (family) stuff for a few weeks, and wasn't quite myself. I did get snappy with h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 09:49 PM
108

Can identify with this one. I dated a guy last year who was amazing at first. We had conversations for literally hours, talked about all kinds of things, amazing chemistry. It felt perfect. Then about 3 months in, he started to tell me my conversation was super boring, repetitive and pointless. I was seeing him 2-3 times a week, so obviously it was 'this is what I did today' type stuff, talking about friends, whatever. It got to the point that I could barely open my mouth without him making some…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 11:08 AM
10

It seems like this is a modern way of men avoiding rejection - forcing the woman to make the first move and then claiming they were being considerate. As if women on dating apps aren't literally there to be asked on dates. So now the burden is on us to ask men out, on top of everything else that's shit about being a woman. Rejection, or fear of it, was one of the few things men had worse, and now they've managed to push that onto us too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 08:48 AM
22

The thing is, even assuming the best intentions, it's still incredibly patronising. I'm a grown woman in my thirties, I don't need men telling me that as if I'm a child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 11:05 PM
47

That's actually a major red flag for me. One that immediately ends all communication and gets the person blocked. 'You don't have to do anything you don't want to' - damn right I don't, scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 10:59 PM
4

There's literally no way to get this right, though. Marry 'too soon' and he might be an abuser trying to trap you. Wait too long and you're probably a 'forever girlfriend' or even worse, someone to pass the time with until someone he actually wants to marry comes along. You can even wait four years to get married, and he still might become abusive later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 12:04 PM
55

Exactly. I regard these types of women as enemies. They're the equivalent of writers who work for free to get 'exposure' and drive down rates for everyone else. Why would men bother to be decent people and look for commitment if they can go on Tinder and swipe on a bunch of pickmes who will happily fuck him without him even buying them a drink (because they think they're modern women with their own money and it's not 'fair' for the guy to pay)? It's ridiculous how these women have swallowed the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 09:59 AM
60

This is such a typical straight man attitude. All about what they want and no mention of what they have to offer. They feel entitled to bang a hot girl, with no effort, no responsibility, no commitment. I love how he casually says at the end 'one recently married there[sic] FWB', so all the pickmeishas reading will cream their panties thinking that maybe after years of being treated as an option, they might finally get a ring if they do enough to make him happy and prove themselves. Wow, a basic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 09:36 AM
-7

How does anyone have *time* for that? I've had other women express surprise at how little effort I put in vs how I look. I think it helps being naturally tan and having black eyebrows and eyelashes and full lips, because literally all I do is moisturise quickly (10 seconds) morning and evening and about once a week use a leave-on face mask before bed, and some light exercise a few times a week. I dye my hair with a box dye every 6 weeks to cover greys and go to the hairdresser 2-3 times a year t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 09:56 AM
12

He was shocked. In his eyes, everything was great. He asked what the issue was, when we were getting along so well. Totally oblivious to the fact that the only reason we were getting along was that I had totally stopped expecting anything from him and was treating him like I would any casual friend. After he sent me a text which literally said that that he wanted to be left alone and to stop trying to plan stuff with him and to let him come to me, I just totally mentally withdrew right there and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 11:44 AM
38

OMG yes!! I wasted SO much time trying to explain to my ex why the way he treated me wasn't OK. He was literally incapable of giving me any emotional support at all. Would literally just stonewall me if I needed to vent, or was having a hard time. I had my mentally ill, abusive alcoholic brother rage calling and texting me constantly, which made me super anxious and stressed, and he was like 'I don't understand the big deal, just block him', as if that would make everything OK. I couldn't compla…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 11:39 PM
32

God, yes. This is so incredibly accurate. I attract a lot of men because I'm classically attractive and have a good/fit body and 'cool' dress sense, but it's almost funny how quickly they lose interest once they realise I'm not a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. About 3 months in, without fail. I can never quite get over how many men are totally unwilling to accept any kind of fault. They expect me to tolerate their weirdness, eccentricities and bad habits, but when it comes to my anxiety, physical healt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 04:09 PM
1

I mean, a lot do, and that's why he feels so entitled, I'm guessing. It's as much the fault of the pick mes who desperately want to be the 'cool girl' and fall for his manipulative 'I won't judge you for having sex on the first date' spiel. What was really chilling was how easily he lied. When he was trying to take me home, he was all 'I never usually do this', and it actually was convincing. I still noped out of there because of the condescending attitude, but I did think that maybe he didn't u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 10:36 PM
1

i just can't get over how fucking low effort these dudes are. I stayed in contact with this guy (we had mutual friends) and he complained that most women were time wasters because they didn't want to sleep with him after he paid for drinks, and wanted to wait until they knew him better. Like, what the fuck? How are these totally average men so entitled that they think they deserve sex from an attractive woman just because he bought her three glasses of wine? Even here in London, that's like, £15…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 09:32 PM
6

I had a guy try to get me into bed on a first date with the whole 'you're just worried I'll think you're a slut...I promise i won't think that' bullshit. I mean, seriously?! What kind of arrogant tool thinks women actually care what some random dude thinks? The joke was that I probably would have ended up going home with him if he hadn't said that. I don't have a problem having sex on the first date. I do have a problem with condescending, manipulative morons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 10:49 AM
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