karebearwe Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
6	Help me talk some sense into my 20 year old son Generally been my experience that kids dont listen to their parents, but if you can get a trusted adult to talk to them. Set the expectations low though. They will learn through others wisdom or their mistakes. As parents we are begging them to protect themselves, but they always think they are different and the exception. Just show him you will be there. Dont start tearing her down, but do voice your concerns delicately.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/07/24 01:27 PM
1	Options Play the long game	/r/Divorce_Men	16/05/24 11:30 PM
5	Struggling with the adjustment Make efforts to see kids and document a history of you trying to see kids. Offer times you arent working to get kids. Send through text so you can show you tried. If possible get them any time she offers. Show up to school days/activities if you can. I love having my kids around but when they arent i do all the things i cant when they are around. I do all my cleaning/maintaining the house when they arent around so I can focus on them when i have them. Bonus is i get to spend more time with frien…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/03/24 11:18 PM
1	They broke me Im so sorry. Best advice I have is to keep your time with your son positive. Dont even mention mom. Its all about creating good memories. Talk with him about him and you. Grey rock the ex and be business profession with her and her daughter. Also get communicate almost solely in text message so you have proof. They are waiting for a slip to use against you. Good thing is at that age its more likely once the divorce is over it can be happy. Mine who were that age dont even really remember any of …	/r/Divorce_Men	07/03/24 08:32 PM
3	Don't Ever Look Back Some of us try so hard to keep it going for the kids/family that we will do anything, but relationships take two people. Once I got out of the cycle its like my feelings withered up died. I dont care. Kids are fine. Still shit happens but no longer my problem. As long as kids are fine do whatever. Cant make me jealous when I feel nothing for you. Nothing prepared me for going it alone like my marriage. Its so much easier when its just me and kids. Dealing with their attitude and temper drained e…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/02/24 04:01 PM
3	Don't Ever Look Back I went back too many times too. At least I can say I did my best. Congrats on doing better yourself. I think the message that marriage is hard is really destructive. It shouldnt be hard. Dealing with life is hard. Being an adult is hard. But being with a partner shouldnt be hard. Spent the last years of my marriage arguing that I mattered, which is pathetic. Im alone now and so happy about it. Keep doing your best. The relationship with kids will improve so much.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/02/24 03:25 PM
1	Recent Focus on the peace you have now. Remind yourself of the good and the bad. Sometimes memories will come back and crash over you like a wave. Feel it for a moment then move on. Focus on the future not the past. It will get better	/r/Divorce_Men	28/02/24 01:59 AM
2	Won a work trip Go. Take a friend bro time	/r/Divorce_Men	14/02/24 07:31 PM
3	Wife and lover not working out No. If you wont do it for yourself, do it for the girls. If theyve adjusted, you are showing them for take back a serial cheater. Even if they get manipulated by Mom, they will lose respect for you. Staying around is teaching her and the girls that you’re ok with being treating like trash and youll always be there. She even had you move out for her trial run. There will be others.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/02/24 11:46 AM
4	Does it get better or worse after asking for a separation from an emotionally abusive wife At a certain point you will give up on convincing them to be a decent person. You will stop pleading your case. With my ex I state when something isnt ok. They defend the indefensible and I dont say anything else. Word of advice. Limit communication. Make sure anything agreed upon is sent in a text so it can be verified. Speak to them as though a judge will read it. Dont get drawn into arguments. It will get better and take this time to work on yourself. Its ok to be sad but dont dwell there. Al…	/r/Divorce_Men	18/01/24 09:57 PM
1	Does it get better or worse after asking for a separation from an emotionally abusive wife It will get worse. They will try a lot of tactics to keep the status quo, but eventually it will get better and the freedom you gain will be beautiful.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/01/24 09:31 PM
1	Women who lurk in the Men's Divorce subreddit, why are you here? I went thru a divorce. A lot of the women divorce posts I couldnt relate to. So I tried here. Both have very bitter people but thats to be expected. Divorce is terrible but im so much happier.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/01/23 03:19 AM
2	Passive aggressive FB crap If you want to see the pictures, unfollow her and then periodically just look at pictures of kids and ignore the other bs. She’s doing a passive aggressive smear campaign. Dont let it affect you. Thats very hard. Just remind yourself you have no control over what others think. If she can persuade people you’re a terrible person, then let them be led astray. If you meant anything to them, theyll ask you for the truth or your side, etc. If they never give you a chance to explain, they weren’t your…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/02/21 07:46 PM
4	To my ex who still wants to be friends Funny how people want to be friends, but don’t want to be good to you. If my friends weren’t loyal, then they arent my friend anymore. If my friend lied, bye. So you aren’t my friend becauae you showed what I meant to you, nothing.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/12/20 03:56 AM
4	My heart breaks for my kids. Look at what you gave your kid instead of what you cant. Do what you can. Be satisfied in that. Sadly, you cant make a person do whats right, but you can show your kid the love you have for them.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/09/20 08:38 PM
2	STBXW is constantly not showing up for pickups and is drinking and driving with the kids Say nothing to your ex again about it. If you do, only do it through text. Do not respond to her provocations. If it doesnt REQUIRE a respond then dont say anything. I would visually record every interaction you have with her. For your protection. Thoroughly document every time the kids tell you something. Keep a calendar. Hand written. Record as much detail as you can. Check her social media and his and screenshot anything mildly incriminating. Most of all. Love on those kids when they are with…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/06/20 07:46 PM
3	Parenting Coordination Dilemma I honestly dont think you need a meeting on your own. I would send an email saying i dont think a solo meeting is necessary. Be prepared. Show up with a list of issues. (Dont go nit-picky but details make it appear they arent unfounded) but list each problems you’ve had and possible solutions. If possible list dates of issues. Don’t say well she told kid this. Say my child told me that he felt bad because mom said X. This not only brings in that you honestly cant be certain she did say it, but i…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/05/20 05:03 AM
2	Ex-wife is pregnant. It finally comes out. Similar thing happened to me. Honestly so thankful for that kid. Its evidence he cheated and lied to everyone. It also helped me solidify its over. Tried holding the marriage together....alone. Best is ahead of you. Not that its all sunshine and rainbows. Difficult marriage => Difficult custody. But i do what i can. Never been happier.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/05/20 10:31 PM
3	How do you work with someone like this? Mine did that too. But it was only so they could try to control my house. When we set up stuff for both houses, then i got told i was ridiculous and controlling for asking them to follow what they said they would do.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/05/20 05:12 AM
6	How do you work with someone like this? Its true. But control what you can. Im not going to be a shitty parent just because they are. I try and get everything caught up while kids are gone so that when they are home we are spending lots of quality time and then the chores are just cleaning up after themselves. Find the joy where you can and build up the love. Ive tried to calmly explain things to the kids. Firmly but with love. In some ways its better than when we were together. At least he’s not there constantly distracting and disru…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/05/20 05:10 AM
6	How do you work with someone like this? Same dude. Divorce underway. I have a routine, not militant but firm. I have a bedtime. He doesnt. Kids do whatever they want. My 13 year old takes forever to get him on a sleep schedule. It takes me days to get him on a sleep schedule and its ruined every time he goes over. Its frustrating. But i cant control that. Hate to sound like such a dream killer but thats the truth.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/05/20 10:48 PM