TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

notconvinced780 Archive

View 0 posts and 239 comments by notconvinced780 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

The settlement of legal bills and disbursement of payments already in the possession of her attorney has nothing to do with you. You have no influence over when her attorney disburses funds to any of her clients including your ex. Get the record from your bank evidencing that the money has been received by her counsel and have your attorney get an order to have her trespassed. I hope you have security cameras in the house to monitor every interaction you guys have so you don’t have false allegat…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 03:39 AM
6

If you can get a marital settlement in place while she is in the affair fog it could save you a fortune
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/26 07:47 PM
7

Divorce now! The longer you wait, the worse the math will be. Even unemployed she will have income “imputed”. The formula for DURATION of alimony is massively impacted by length of marriage. A newborn will be a hell of a reason for her to argue a zero imputed income for the next several years. DO NOT HAVE ANOTHER KID WITH HER!! FIGHT FOR 50% CUSTODY. (This will also reduce your child support). FILE NOW!!
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 05:45 PM
1

OP, there is a bit to untangle here. 1) your instinct to keep things amicable and be helpful while going through this may feel “unfair” in the short term, but are probably the better choice for the long term. If you make her life more difficult now, she will see that post divorce she will need more resources from you to maintain her standard of living. She will seek those out through asset splits, alimony, weaponizing kids, etc. that is something I’d be aware of as you move through this. Make th…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 01:27 PM
4

Your objectives are NOT unreasonable. I’m a divorced IL dad. 50:50 is the default.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 03:52 AM
7

Vex_appeal, you are in a GREAT position right now! Your wife is in “the affair fog”. She feels empowered by “taking charge” and filing first. There is zero impact on a divorce based on who files. Get it agreed and a marital settlement agreement signed off before she leaves on her “journey of self discovery “. You want everything done and agreed ASAP! When she returns from her journey, has been influenced by toxic people, or her affair cools or crashes, YOU will be the target of her anger and fru…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 06:41 PM
1

I’ve never heard of a Duke Order, but I’d be shocked if it has any impact on the l under, as they are a not a party to your marriage and made a credit decision based on the financial condition of the combined parties on the loan. I don’t think a court can, as part of a divorce, adversely rule against a third party lender’s security interest or risk profile of their borrower to facilitate them terminating a marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/26 04:45 AM
4

1.smell good, and do not say or even think a thing about your ex at any time during your time together. It’s all about the girl you are with! Focus on HER pleasure. Listen to both verbal and physical cues that indicate what she is enjoying. Do more of those things, and ASK for what she wants more (or less) of-pressure, tongue, position, everything! Overwhelming enthusiasm and foreplay trumps all else! Eye contact and attention. Have fun…for real, sex is supposed to be fun!!
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 02:11 PM
1

Since your still married, have your attorney move to have all legal bills paid out of household earnings/marital assets. She’ll then be paying both sides of the legal bills. She’ll have to outspend herself.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 06:02 PM
8

This will be a complication and entanglement that WILL become a problem later on. You will remain on the mortgage (unless she can qualify for an assignment and her lender offers it in cases of divorce). This means that obligation may prevent you from qualifying for a mortgage yourself as that debt will count 100% (not proportionally) against your debt to income calculation. If she takes the reduction inn401K, that will likely be offset by an increase in equity in the house asset and the tax adva…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 04:53 PM
4

Send notice to her and her attorney that if you haven’t received back an executed agreement by 3:00pm, the offer is rescinded. Your next offer will be for ZERO.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 03:04 PM
1

Wow! What did he do to his wife that he actually had a reasonable expectation of loyalty from? Did he gut her on the tennis court, remove her intestines and string a racket with them in the pro-shop while she bled out? …or was all forgiven?
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 12:54 AM
1

Could he also file a malpractice suit against his attorney?
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 01:09 AM
8

OP, The heart of your question is “WHY AREN'T we shaming the dogs who sleep with married woman and instead sitting here whining about cheating wives???” There are a few reasons: 1) the cheating wife is the one who formed a monogamous union with her husband so the obligation to uphold that lies primarily with her. The guy she approached took no such oath to her husband and it isn’t his job to police the behavior of other people’s wives. 2) the insinuation of the question is that the woman/wife ha…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 12:59 AM
2

Not a lawyer, but that sounds like a liability to me. List it. I can’t think of a narrative of how it isn’t unless no other assets or liabilities have been accumulated during the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 05:15 PM
1

In the U.S., there may be some stigma in certain demographic groups, but there doesn’t appear to be any general stigma for men who are divorced. Many women view a man having been married as “proof” that they are able to make commitments, which is generally desired in a mate.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 07:13 PM
18

You should be thrilled as a pig in shit! You get a GREAT financial path forward, the kids 15 minutes away, and a quick inexpensive resolution. You don’t get any voice on where she lives either the kids anyway! That’s why people get divorced! Get this done and papered swiftly before she emerges from the affair fog. This is the best outcome I’ve ever heard of! Congrats!
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 01:14 PM
7

In Illinois, after either remarriage or cohabitation, spousal support (alimony) is eligible for cancellation.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 06:01 PM
4

How much of the 401K and Pension was earned prior to marriage VS. while married? She is only entitled to half of the present value of the portion earned during the marriage. She is also entitled to 50% of marital assets acquired during the marriage. The child support for a 50% custodial parent is a non-negotiable statutory formula (you can find online for your state). Alimony IS negotiable, but should be more than the guideline indicated on your states online calculator. I’m in Illinois which I …
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 12:09 PM
2

You should 100% stay in the house owned by your grandparents. You should really try to get 50% custody of the kids. This will provide your kids with the secure relationship with you that they deserve and your wife with the freedom to both pursue a career and have the flexibility to pursue a New Romantic relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 03:23 PM
0

No shade, but the original post that you responded to said “unhappy, resentful, think spouse is crazy…”. The child of such a situation was not out of like for his response to you. Calling out his “reading comprehension”, in light of what was written in the post you responded to was… aggressive.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/26 07:01 PM
6

You have already made an offer. Time has probably made her refusal age poorly. It’s her turn to make you an offer, in writing, that you can accept, reject or counter. Keep it REAL SIMPLE for her. Good Luck.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 10:45 PM
1

If you have 50% custody and your and your wife’s comp is so close, child support should be VERY modest. Spousal support should be too. There are online calculators that you can use to get ballpark numbers for your state.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 02:50 PM
5

My advice: get the divorce. It is soul-crushing to live your life with someone who holds you in disdain. You deserve better. …you probably both do.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 06:53 PM
21

Mediators are not there to be fair. They are only interested in in pressuring the party they perceive to be weaker into accepting a deal so that another divorce can be cleared from the court’s docket.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 07:36 PM
0

It is highly likely to be better on the other side. Maybe after divorce, you and ex will beat the odds and remain friends/friendly while coparenting.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 11:47 AM
3

What your friend’s exwife “wants” is not really an important benchmark.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 04:06 AM
4

If your ex earns much less than you, and she is the 51%+ custodial parent, indicating her on the FAFSA forms for many state schools (in or out of state) can save you a massive amount in tuition.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 12:22 PM
4

File a police report about the attacks, death threats, and violence. Have a separation agreement drafted and have her sign. Video tape her signing. File for divorce. You need to sever that legal tie.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 12:35 PM
13

Your kids will be better off in a home in which their father is not the victim of infidelity, dishonesty and being made a cuck. You needing to live a fabricated truth “for the kids sake”, does NOT model what you want for them. You are also entitled to a life of dignity and happiness. With 70% of the marital assets and no (or minimal) alimony, you will be well set up to build this and provide a great environment for your kids when you have them. Likewise, your wife who has been cheating for almos…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 01:06 PM
3

If I understand what you’ve written correctly, this is a VERY short marriage and its end is atypical. I’m not a lawyer. I’m not your lawyer. You may have a substantially better outcome than 50:50. The faster you proceed, the more likely this is to be true. You need a lawyer ASAP. You will give her more than you feel she deserves, but may be a fraction of what she is seeking. The faster you get it done, the less it’s likely to cost you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 03:46 PM
4

When she said she wanted to separate.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 03:22 AM
6

I’m not clear on how you won’t pay ANY spousal Support when you earn 10x your STBXW’s income and have been married over 10 years.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 04:28 AM
9

Umm… if she wants a divorce, she was already “unhappy”. Getting divorced is the very formalization of the statement that “You, STBX, do not make me happy, and I am no longer going to look to you to make me happy.” Do not set dangerous financial precedents. The four walls she lives within won’t make her more or less happy. They are just walls and a roof. You are already trying to remove the one element of the life she has expressed stands in the way of her happiness, YOU!
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 07:24 PM
8

You really should not be negotiating ANYTHING with your STBXW till you discretely speak with a couple attorneys. You will need a good one, not one that advertises on TV or bus stop benches. Find the two or three best firms in town and speak with attorneys at each of those firms. You may want to make sure that you speak to both male and female attorneys.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 04:05 AM
3

OP, I am sorry you guys are going through these difficulties. Making a marriage work takes lots of work from both people. OP, you said : “thing which we worked through…” as the narrative to describe the effort your spouse did (and presumably which you supported) as the aftermath of YOUR affair. It sounds like she made the commitment to work hard to get past that for both you and your relationship. By your account it sounds like you felt that effort (mostly on her part had been largely successful…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 12:56 PM
3

Yes. Illinois.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 11:49 AM
1

This is further evidence that she is trying to isolate you from your friends and set herself up socially post divorce. Your not having discussed what time you were coming home in advance is a pretty minor party foul in light of where you were and her ability to call you if she cared about your arrival time.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 03:11 AM
5

You are not being “petty”, however this won’t be a worthwhile pursuit as most states view personal gifts , (like jewelry)both from others and between spouses as being property not subject to marital division. You might actually get more value by saying to STBXW, “ You know what honey, you are right, I’m not going to pursue a jewelry valuation. Let’s both work towards an amicable divorce and not spend our joint money counting the pennies in each other’s pockets. Let’s not make the lawyers rich. I…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 02:55 AM
4

I am not a lawyer but my understanding is She is only “entitled to” the present cash value of the amount that has been earned/vested DURING your marriage. If you are 25 years from retirement, and the periods during which you were married/working at the firm for which you one day hope to receive the pension, this is likely a pretty modest sum. If you aren’t vested it might be zero.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 08:27 PM
1

Only if you make more than her, and only for a percentage of the difference between your incomes.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 04:43 PM
3

Your position is less disruptive for your kids so should prevail. Your STBXW being more concerned with her emotional need than her kids is… strange.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 11:32 PM
3

OP, with respect to the following: “I went out to lunch with a friend. He asked if I was going to his place (out of state) when my wife comes in a few months to go to a concert with his wife. Completely blindsided me. Didn’t know it was a thing…” Tell your friend that you guys are having trouble and you feel really isolated. ask him if you guys can get away to their place a couple times before said visit by your wife. You feel she is doing things to be territorial about everything including frie…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 07:20 PM
2

I think OP works remote and just enjoys getting out of the house from time to time so worked FROM a Starbucks not “for” the Starbucks. I agree that his marriage has been over for a while. There is no intimacy and hasn’t been for years. They often fight and kitchen sink every past transgression. OP was the one who both invoked the “D word” then stormed off and went ghost mode for an extended period of time. This is NOT how you constructively work together to improve and sustain a relationship. Of…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 05:36 PM
1

Do it model a dysfunctional relationship as “normal” for your kids! This is much more damaging than them having two households in which they are living and in which at least one of you (though probably both) are happier parents!
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 03:46 PM
1

You should file for divorce. If your “spouse” leaves for at least a month, insists on “no contact” and hasn’t been able to communicate beforehand about how she was feeling, you didn’t have much of a marriage at that point anyway. You will NEVER trust her if she comes back after her “wild walk-about”.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 04:59 AM
1

Initially biased… over time impartial.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 04:06 AM
2

You MUST look at the rest of the MSA terms simultaneously with home equity split. How much do you make per year? How much does she make? Who paid more towards the mortgage, taxes, utilities, maintenance, improvements while you owned it? What would custody look like? What about alimony? You have to address all these together. If your discussions aren’t “global” in nature, you will be financially eviscerated!
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 12:00 AM
1

Op, How much debt do you have? How much debt does she have?
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 11:37 PM
4

The mediator is not there to achieve “fairness”. The mediator is there to sniff out who is weaker, align with who is stronger, and force the weaker party into caving. You decide who you want to be. Reasonable and fair are only as important as the stronger party chooses to make it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 03:36 AM
1

If your both high earners, why would you be entitled to free legal help? Since you both are high earners, it’s likely going to be a pretty low alimony situation. The sooner you do this and the faster you finish, the cheaper it will be.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 02:27 AM
1

This is irrelevant. FILE NOW! STOP ASKING!
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 01:57 AM
11

I am a divorced mid 50s dad with older kids in college+. I am dating a divorced mom of teen girls in jr. high and highschool (13 and 15) I shared some of your concerns at the outset of the relationship but quickly found it to be a non-issue. The ex has some custody, so we have lots of freedom to go out, take long weekends, travel, etc. Teens are learning independence and whether in a two home divorced family or living with parents who are married, they have their own lives; filled with school, a…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 01:32 PM
6

OP, let me see if I have this right: Your sister-in-law withheld affection from your bother for years, was emotionally abusive, didn’t hold a job, or do the house chores that one would normally do in lieu of holding a job, encouraged (or willingly allowed) her mother to play a destructive role in their relationship and YOU want to pressure your brother to stay in that situation as penance because against that backdrop he was unfaithful? “In my mind that is unacceptable and the right thing to do …
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 01:05 PM
3

Go 60/40 Your way. You don’t want to set precedents that will Be used against you as the divorce race proceeds and she either gets scared, hears her friends yapping in her ear, or gets a nasty divorce lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 05:14 AM
3

THE critical element of your post is “With that said, Im not ready…”. This is a highly individual decision. For some, there has been a lack of intimacy for an extended period period of time before separation, for others its sudden. Some have spent years prior to filing coming to terms with their feelings and getting emotionally sorted, others don’t begin that process till after filing. I’d say there is nothing “wrong” with starting to explore your post marriage life, shortly after separation, bu…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 03:11 PM
6

If she makes around the same or more than you, its likely you won’t owe ANY alimony. It’s the difference in Salaries that will drive alimony. If she makes more than you, she could owe YOU alimony!
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 04:51 PM
9

Is the $130K appraisal correct? Maybe it should be $260K. Who knows. Don’t use her appraisal. Have a few realtors come through and give you a market value and listing agreement. If she insists the value is $130k, tell her you’ll send her a check for her half and keep the house yourself, then either rent or sell it. I would NOT let her keep it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 04:45 PM
9

You’re confronting the wrong person. You had/have a relationship with your wife, not random Sean. Your wife cheated and is going to see him again. She is the problem, not Sean.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 10:26 PM
7

OP, so you’re getting a divorce and think you get to decide what name your ex-wife goes by after the divorce? Does she get to decide what name you go by after the divorce? Isn’t the whole point of the divorce that to guys minimize interactions and influence on each other’s lives?
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 04:24 PM
2

What state are you guys in? Do you have a prenup with an “infidelity clause”? Most U.S. states are “no fault”. If she is “cohabitating” as defined by the state you reside in, and meets the states formal definition(time thresholds, continuity, etc.) and you have independent proof, you MAY avoid alimony. Since you have an agreement in place for the go-forward treatment of claimable depot children, it may be in your best interest to generously estimate her income, and give her the amount of money s…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 02:43 PM
12

Tell her the expense of taking or sending the kids for a visit to family is the financial responsibility of the parent whose side of the family the kids are visiting. A parent’s agreement to give up parenting time to enable either a family visit or a vacation or a trip with or to the other parent, or the other parent’s family does not obligate them to also pay or share associated expenses of that trip. The travel expenses associated with a school trip or summer camp are different than family vis…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 02:24 PM
5

Word to the wise: the records you seek will be important, but won’t shed light on her “cash” business income. Get security cameras that will be positioned to show all entrances to the house. Get a system that records such so you have a record of her clients coming and going from the house which, in conjunction with the BEAUTY supply records on your CC, you can defend the imputed income for her that you declare to the courts.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 06:19 PM
1

It sounds like your marriage took the most important part of you from yourself. Divorce is a mechanism through which you can reclaim yourself,your relationships, your values and your self esteem! Go get it!
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 05:03 PM
1

Would this proposed schedule work better for you with your job? Would it be better for you socially moving forward? Would it free you up to travel, enjoy hobbies, and have more meaningful uninterrupted time with kids? That’s the only lens I’d evaluate it through.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 08:08 PM
1

2255 sounds like it would give you both more flexibility for social stuff, but it has to work for both of your jobs. If it doesn’t, it’s a non-starter.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 06:42 PM
7

No matter if you have assets or not, plan to have kids or not, do a prenup. Best case scenario, it forces you guys to talk out important hypotheticals and perceived roles/responsibilities during a time that there is mutual respect, love and affection. Since your marriage will be one of them that lasts forever, it was just an exercise in Which these important topics were discussed covered off on and agreed between you. That piece of paper will remain in a Manila folder in both you respective desk…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 05:34 PM
2

If you’re separated, reach out.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 03:41 PM
1

50/50 on marital assets. 50/50 on custody/parenting time. House gets sold and equity split 50/50. Statutory guidelines on child support. If you have 50/50 custody, wth your indicated incomes , it won’t be much. Keep it simple. Get it done fast. S
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 03:03 PM
1

What would you like ex to do that she isn’t, to achieve the sales objective?
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 02:07 PM
5

You might be surprised. That first couple days was rough. Clarity came quickly. Fear dissipated quickly. Recentering started literally with hearing her decision. Better days are ahead because of this. Being with someone who would rather not be with you is emotionally damaging.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 11:56 PM
2

What state are you in? Most are default 50/50 on parenting/custody. If you paid her wat through law school, and you aren’t an attorney yourself, it’s highly likely she’ll both know more than you and have friends resources she’ll be able to draw on cheaply, that you won’t. Her post separation affairs will mean nothing to a court. The things that you believe have an influence in court,,won’t. I will give you advice for the best possible outcome come: 1) know that the faster you finish it, the like…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 03:12 PM
3

Get a mediator FAST! Claims of wanting “amicable” have a very short expiration date. She will rewrite history in her mind to justify a level of horrible treatment you can’t imagine. Get divorced pronto. Be very careful about what sort of spousal support you agree to. Try for ZERO! Child support is NOT something you can negotiate down. It must follow state statutory guidelines. The proportion of custody time for each parent strongly informs that calculated obligation.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 04:40 PM
8

Irrelevant
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 10:01 PM
1

That’s because for a couple at the stage OP is, they always stay that way or get worse.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 02:14 AM
2

If your hesitation is “the kids”, you should feel very comfortable moving forward. Kids pick up on and see everything. You don’t want to spend their childhood modeling and normalizing living in a hostile environment and normalizing that, that is what a normal healthy relationship looks like. If the kids ate 50/50, at least half the time (but likely all the time) they’ll be in an environment that isn’t filled with tension and hostility. You owe it to the kids to choose to NOT live with someone wh…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 02:21 PM
9

Do not even allow this can of worms to be opened. Your marital status or new spouses income is NONE OF YOUR EX’s business!!
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 02:56 AM
16

OP, there are a few observations from your post I want share. The bitter pills will come at the front of my comment, so hang in there for the payoff at the end…just like the divorce process. 1) If your wife starts a session with a 20 minute monologue of grievances, it may be because she can’t express it and feel heard outside of the couples therapy. Regardless of the context that might surround each grievance, do try to hear her. If you do, that could be an important step (towards what, we’ll di…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 02:42 PM
12

OP, here is my napkin analysis of your situation: 1) Stop kitchen sinking! It dilutes your valid points! 2) you and your new wife want to have a baby: irrelevant 3) your ex makes about the same as you: highly relevant!! 4) your ex is cohabitating with a boyfriend: as it pertains to child support: probably irrelevant As it pertains to spousal support: highly relevant! I don’t know the laws in Georgia, so you need to talk to an attorney, but do you have 50/50 custody? The material change in relati…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 07:56 PM
3

An argument to consider may be, as the court has seen, my STBXW has shown a willingness to act however she feels will most likely get her the best outcome (false DV claims, dragging out the process to 3 years, etc.) regardless of whether such behavior is honorable, fair, truthful or damaging to those around her. She has demonstrated and “ends justify the means” morality. I would greatly prefer to have my kids spend less time in a household where those are the values being modeled for them and no…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 08:26 PM
2

I’d hate it for a number of reasons including that one party gets all the Wednesday night through Sunday weekends while the other gets none. Unless work schedules require an 8 pm swap midweek, that would blow. The odd, interrupted weekend on odd number months also sounds terrible. Stick with the 4-3-3-4 schedule.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 05:46 PM
1

The “price discovery” is the most difficult part to agree. Get a couple realtors in to provide a market analysis and proposal for the home value based on recently sold properties and listed properties so you both can see and compare and decide together on fair market value. If you guys can’t agree on value, you can just list it with the realtor you thought was most competent.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 03:35 PM
2

You seem to have grown a lot since your marriage and have a higher degree of self awareness now than you did when you got married. She too is suggesting that divorce has more than casually crossed her mind. You have a rare opportunity to part ways based on incompatibility that wouldn’t be filled with acrimony. Take it! Enjoy your 30s. Find a better match. Encourage her to do the same! I’m really impressed!
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 10:25 PM
2

“Know courts are biased for women” is not entirely true. They are ENTIRELY BIASED FOR CHILDREN “. In most states the default is 50/50 parental time and custody. Do not Wait!! I did and regret it! Start providing them an environment away from their mom, that models normal responsible behavior and decision making. Critical point: DO NOT WAIT BECAUSE STBXW’s reduced income will become the norm for spousal and other support calculations. You DO NOT WANT THAT! You want the courts to impute her real d…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 06:28 PM
3

Because you don’t want your kids viewing you as the weak, rejected less worthy party. You also don’t want to model for your kids that if a relationship doesn’t work out for them in the future it MUST be because either they or their partner is a failure. Playing the blame game will make your kids the losers in not feeling safe in either home. It won’t make you the “winner”.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 06:46 PM
7

1/2 of if marital assets ( this includes retirement accounts), 50/50 custody, and alimony. Get a lawyer ASAP!!
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:16 AM
2

Your end game is largely achievable, but NOT if you approach it the way you indicate here. As for marriage was only 8 years, you live in TX, and you both work; it is plausible that if managed correctly (not how you outlined in your post) that you can come pretty close to your desired objective. (The calculated alimony payments, if there are any, will likely be modest and you can buy her out of this up front. Likely that the funds to do so will come from the liquidation of the house and other ass…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 05:22 PM
5

I think you should let them go. They’ll be tainted by this most recent marriage. Your kid can buy their future wives their own diamonds without the baggage.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 06:54 PM
1

You don’t get to have this level of “influence” over someone else’s life. You only get to change your behavior, not someone else’s. Theirs hopefully changes in response to your behavioral changes, but demanding former spouses do things with their lives because you “don’t approve” of their choices is not a recipe for success.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 11:37 PM
2

Don’t ask her to prove anything!!! Do it engage in this. You are trying to be overly “cute”. It isn’t. Just stay the hell away from her. Minimize the time your kid is exposed to her. Enjoy your life with ZERO concern for her regrets.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 11:11 PM
2

Hi OP, there are several elements to this that seem mis-aligned with moving on cleanly post-divorce. You’ve professed some things here that seem either unaddressed or out-of-sync with what I suspect you’d like post divorce. “ nothing has escalated to the point of exclusivity with the women I’ve dated, but it probably won’t be long…” this suggests you’d like a committed monogamous romantic relationship. This will be a difficult thing to achieve, if you are continuing to share intimacy, sexual and…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 02:28 PM
2

Unless you have a bad relationship with your boss, or there is some other “conflict of interest” like boss has a relationship with STBXW family, you should talk to them about it. One reason is so they can have a bit of empathy, patience and understanding if you “just haven’t been yourself lately”. Another reason is that spending on where you are in the process, and how long you’ve been married, you may want to delay any comp improvements till you are done even if they give it to you later on a h…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 08:43 PM
1

For the last 2.5+ years I have only been dating my girlfriend, who I met on OLD. Before I met her, I went on dates every week. About 20% were ‘good”. Good meaning mutual attraction. I had fun even on the “not good” dates though. You should try to adapt the attitude that if all that happens is you meet someone new, share a drink or dinner and 30 minutes - a couple hours with them, and learn something about yourself or leave that other person feeling a little better about themselves, regardless of…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 05:30 AM
3

I’m mid 50s. My job is not “glamorous”. I was overweight when I got divorced (still am). Very attractive women have been eager to spend time with me since my separation. I wasn’t planning on it, but stumbled into a great connection pretty early on in the process and became happily exclusive. I’ve been dating her for 2.5 years now. I’d recommend you just keep an open mind about what you may or may not want. Go out there and have fun. Rediscover the person “single you” is now. Enjoy ALL the dates!…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 05:49 PM
2

He wants to give you an internship and possible full time position as: SEX-NURSE?!?! Decide if that’s what you want.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:48 PM
4

If he’s your best friend, can you send him a note saying that he’s seemed distant lately and been giving you one word/short answers that end conversation and it makes you sad. You loved the physical intimacy you shared but even without that, you have a full blown friendship that should endure whether future physical intimacy is desired, something you guys are open to or not. Can you guys get together and discuss what you guys each want?
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 03:54 PM
2

It’s amazing! My kids are older, but I have friends with younger kids who got divorced around The same time. The first step is getting comfortable and re-acquainted with “single u/Leading_Map_9646”. He’s a very different person than either pre marriage or married “single u/Leading_Map_9646”.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 11:15 PM
4

We’ll see if there is bitterness after you start dating someone else, even if she’s the one who wanted the divorce in the first place; this can multiple ly 10X if the girl you date is much better looking than she is. Ask me how I know.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 05:03 AM
2

I’m not an atty., just a guy who’s been down this road, had a mediated divorce agreed to and it blew up after agreement and then she went scorched earth. There are so many problems with how you are approaching this. You are truly about to be fucked with concertina wire by the silverback lowland gorilla she hires as her attorney at the last minute. Do this the right way. File now! If she is amenable, draft an agreement of terms with her. It can literally just be a list. Everything needs to be spe…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 01:14 AM
2

Are you still living together? If so, you’ll probably have to wait till you are living as a separated person. If you are, then you should be able to connect with people who understand you’re not in a relationship and your marriage is over.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 12:27 AM
7

A few considerations from a non-lawyer guy mid-50s who recently went through this: 1) presume you will be held to the alimony portion of any deal you make. The courts probably won’t look kindly on a party using alimony to induce the other party to reduce their claim against a marital asset and the try to claw back that inducement. 2) it’s easy enough to do a discount cash flow analysis of the current cash value of the sum of the alimony payments, then discount them for the likelihood that STBXW …
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 03:30 PM
23

Do not EVER threaten that again. Discretely record and simply call th cops. File police reports every tim thi happens to build a paper trail.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 09:15 AM
10

I think it would be a tough argument for an ex to make that their poor execution of illegal tracking lead them to react/act inappropriately and have resulting expenses. I’d love for you to do this! BTW, you could forward calls to another cell phone number if y of wanted, or if you send the tracker someone tropical, have the voicemail greeting set to Hawaiian slide seek or Don Ho music. Hilarious!! 😂
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 07:51 PM
1

Many problems with this approach: 1) It can trap a lower earning spouse in a marriage that is extremely lopsided and abusive. That is not the objective of the institution today in Western cultures. 2) What are the qualities that attract mates to one another? Does it differ between men and women? Are those attributes durable/ Do they increase, decrease, or remain the same over time? The attributes that are often considered in mate choosing relate both to what one wants for themselves and what one…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 05:54 PM
1

ng_rddt, You are missing the over-riding point. The purpose of a pre-nuptial is NOT to put the higher earning partner in a position equal to where they would have been had they not gotten married. In what ways are you proposing to make sure that his wife is in a reasonable position, should their marriage terminate? How would you structure a prenup to make sure that a lower earning spouse is well positioned in the event of an early termination of marriage (Divorce)? Maybe they should set up indiv…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 05:59 AM
4

From the perspective of a guy who was the higher earner who recently got divorced: yes, I’d be very comfortable with this for some of the following reasons: the way mortgages amortize, payments go primarily towards interest in the earlier years of a mortgage, so a divorce in the first ten years means that the amount of equity that has been paid down by the mortgage payments is probably less than 15% of the mortgage balance. They both equally contributed to the downpayment. Let’s presume that the…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 03:10 PM
5

While things are still relatively amicable, get the divorce DONE, MSA signed and acknowledged by the courts. It’s shocking how quickly things can change, especially when you start getting “attention”. Please do this ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 08:05 PM
2

I’m not an attorney so can’t opine on that specifically with confidence, however I suspect that is 1) very jurisdiction dependent, 2) a signed affidavit is better than nothing, 3) that signed affidavit can also then later be followed by a request that the person appear as a witness in court and the affidavit serves as a script for what they are attesting to.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 04:17 PM
3

Hi @U/tommarvoloriddle1926, you said in your post that: “Stayed married cause we had an agreement that I would keep her on my health insurance and she’d leave my retirement alone.” Can you provide some color around why the agreement is not holding up? Does your lawyer think she has a chance at prevailing, and if so why? If your agreement is “bad” the lawyer did a poor josh drafting it. Get another lawyer to both evaluate it, and decide if there was legal malpractice or if your STBXW is just blow…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 04:30 AM
–

My initial comment, because there is already equal income. No reason for subsidies from other of you to the other.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 05:26 AM
1

Hire an attorney. Pay the retainer. 15K is probably a fraction of what you’ll lose in home equity, credit damage, etc. you’re going to need an attorney to get this done anyway. Might as well do it now instead of waiting for months of additional financial damage to be done. Your attorney can be given a retainer with marital assets. Then, close any credit cards or accounts she has access to. These will “motivate” the process.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 09:12 PM
10

Disclosure is the defense that keeps your friends. Secrecy lets your cheating STBX provide the narrative that will put a wedge between you and your friends/associates and your reputation and the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 07:21 PM
11

OP, Child Support is NOT for you. It is for your children! Yes you make sure that your children get the child support that will provide for a quality of life that will be commensurate while in the custody of either parent. Why is that not something you want for them? Additionally encouraging your STBXW to lie about her job to disadvantage your children is a terrible idea.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 05:43 PM
1

Ok then! Even more obvious!
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 11:05 PM
4

The reason to NOT consider it cheating is that a separation is the transitional period between parties deciding they are no longer moving forward together with a romantic relationship, but the logistical details about how things are severed have not been finalized (or even addressed) yet. If you looked at it another way it would mean that one party could obstruct/delay or otherwise manipulate the divorce process to control the actions, behavior and pursuit of happiness, of the other party. You g…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 05:53 PM
8

I’ll be blunt. Your wife is correct. Pretending a broken relationship isn’t, models for your daughter, a married life, you do not want her to pursue. She will be much better off in two homes with some authentic happiness, than one without any. Strive for the baseline 50/50 custody. Stop letting a 3 year old set the terms your family should live by. Get the divorce finished ASAP! You deserve to have a relationship with someone who wants to be in a relationship with you! Premarital assets, you kee…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 12:47 PM
4

That’s so insanely entitled it has you second guessing your entire framing of the universe. You should pay Zero of the nanny expense for the nanny employed exclusively by your ex for “help” while the children are in her custody…so she can do other things. The Nanny is help for your ex, not your kids. You already either have settled spousal support with a one time payment or are doing so monthly. How she chooses to use or squander those resources is her decision. You do not need to provide extra …
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 04:01 AM
2

This sounds right from the mediator. Their job is to get you both to an agreement, not hew to statutory guidelines. If he asks you STBXW the same question, what will she say? If she says “It’s NOT about the money. I would calculate child support based on the lower days of custody to maximize the days I have the child(ren).”, then your mediator can propose that if he can get you to agree to that, would she agree those terms and sign off on that part of marital separation agreement? When she says …
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 02:17 PM
3

Hi RemarkableDonut2676, I’m not a lawyer. If you follow the steps you need to not too screwed, if you don’t, could be bad. Get a divorce lawyer immediately! Not one who advertises on TV. Interview a couple till you find one you like and trust. This is. Important. I am a guy who with a couple of kids, got divorced a couple years ago. Knowledge imbalances are power. Do not tell her shit! Let her come to whatever conclusions about outcomes on her own, especially regarding the impact of cohabitation…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 02:59 PM
2

I’d go with: Sorry , she has a Sunday scheduling conflict on your Sundays. Missing two Sundays a month of practice won’t amount to a hill of beans. Also, take back the 3rd weekend that was granted you and do bring her back that weekend at noon and ex can get her from practice that weekend.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 11:23 PM
3

Don’t negotiate child support with former spouse as the child support is for the kids and judges throw out that part of a compromise with spouses all the time, with the consideration NOT being reversed. So get the house either liquidated or have ex buy you out and get removed from both title and MORE IMPORTANTLY THE MORTGAGE!! You need off the mortgage so you’ll be able to buy a house in the future. View the $100k as an offset to help fund your child support obligations if you wish.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 08:13 PM
6

Hi sir_cas, I’d like to focus in on a few things, two of them are things you indicated in your post, one is an observation from the other side of reluctant divorced man. Firstly, you indicated that that she “my wife’s attitude toward me changes dramatically; she becomes short-tempered and distant.” You also indicate that you are trying to save your marriage to maintain stability for your boys. It is critical to recognize, that what you are “maintaining” is currently an environment in which your …
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 05:56 AM
9

Leave out the sentence that starts with “I take full responsibility…” the ringing in her ears will drown out the rest of that sentence. Try not to phrase things with “I put the burden on you…” and “I’m going to be the leader…”. There is no reason to frame the future failure of a marriage you shared as being either of your individual faults. You shared the marriage, you share the responsibility for its success or failure. Suggesting some “white-knuckle” path towards marital redemption sounds like…
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 08:52 PM
6

If your lawyer will write you an opinion letter in which he will accept liability for a failure to achieve said objective, I will retract my comment. lol
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 09:35 PM
3

Ask what the neuropsych. Attributes were for your spouse that she was concerned would only be compatible with a partner with specific neuropsych. characteristics and what were those?
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 07:46 PM
18

Until YOUR JUDGE decides, in your divorce, not to look passed this admission, it’s too soon to celebrate. I presume that you’ve seen football games in which a fumble is forced, the player than starts running the ball back for a touchdown, evades a couple of tackles, and starts celebrating before he gets into the end zone? The end zone is where points are tallied, not before. Likewise in a divorce, points are tallied after a marital settlement agreement is signed by a judge, or a divorce is other…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 02:29 PM
7

Did the Dodgers win?
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 02:02 PM
14

Do not give up the next 10 years of your life for the illusion of a good marriage. Your son will be just as happy with two households that are authentically happy then one that is fake. This is an irretrievable situation. Do lot “wait” for her. This is about YOU deserving to be with someone for whom YOU are their FIRST CHOICE!!
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 01:42 PM
14

You have a lot of variables that you are communicating as if they are material to your relationships. They aren’t. It doesn’t matter that she divorced you “against your will”! Both parties have to want to be married for there to be a lasting marriage (at least in United States and most of the west). You also talk about her current relationship and family planning as if you are entitled to a consideration (You are not). The entire purpose of divorce is to reduce your entanglement with someone who…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 07:22 PM
2

Congrats to you! Sounds like a possible clean break! Get it done as quickly as possible!
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:08 PM
3

This should be highly dependent on the other aspects of your marital settlement agreement. If she’s getting alimony, or a split of marital assets, you may wish to reconsider.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 04:38 PM
2

Those “games” are yucky. I remember when I got divorced a few years ago, my wife did the same thing. When I said “I accept your valuation… I’ll buy you out of the whole thing at that number”, they lost their minds. My response was, “ you seem upset. I guess since you brought me that number , I should be upset. Why don’t you go back, and recalculate? Give me a number at which you’re comfortable being the buyer or seller.”
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 07:55 AM
2

It depends what you are the “out of options” statement to: if it’s to repairing the relationship, that’s probably very true in most divorce situations. If “out of options” means something else, I’m not sure what you mean so can’t opine. Deciding to end a marriage is a very difficult decision and it is healthy to have all sorts of mixed feelings about it. The “hard part” about sex after marriage is that during marriage, you attach that sex emotionally to a lot of stuff that relates to being a hus…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 08:24 PM
1

Agreed!
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 05:14 PM
2

A hilarious, smart, fun, adventurous, gorgeous girlfriend I laugh and have fun with all the time!
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 03:49 AM
1

Hi bigt, im over 3 years out from separation and about 2 from divorce. While you didn’t ask, my first piece of advice is GET THAT MSA SIGNED AND RETURNED ASAP!!! I had an agreed MSA and similarly didn’t push for quick execution. The result was that she got a new lawyer, reneged on the MSA, drained resources until new MSA finally was agreed which was imbalanced in her favor, but less hassle to just accept then continue engaging as her hostility went parabolic. As for the co-parenting VS parallel …
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 03:39 AM
6

Extremely similar situation. Mine came to a head about 3 .5 years ago. Literally on our anniversary after returning from seeing my eldest son graduate college. We got home. I dropped my youngest at high school. I returned home and she read me her “manifesto of misery”. We agreed to do things amicably… until she changed her mind. She Dragged it out for over a year, pillaged assets, then finally agreed to a divorce. Remember the truth in the old joke: “Why are divorces so expensive? Because they’r…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 12:55 AM
2

I’d send her a note about having a conversation establishing boundaries around communication on the other parent’s time. Discuss what mutual set up she and you are comfortable with. It should be the same for each both ways. I’d propose 5 minutes before dinner each evening or every other evening for a call. No texts. If there is something that needs to be communicated to the kids, the non-custodial parent can send that text to the custodial parent for them to disseminate as they see fit during th…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 05:28 PM
2

You should get a lawyer NOW. It will actually make a settlement in mediation MORE likely.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 03:38 PM
8

Don’t be influenced by the “sunken cost fallacy”. If the one you are with now is t the right fit for you, don’t stay with her because it could take 3-4 months to vet and connect with someone who might be right for you. If you stay in the wrong situation, in 3-4 months you ll still be in the wrong situation and your 3-4 month clock won’t start till you end things, get yourself into the right mental state to move forward and then start down that new unknown path. Romantic connection is difficult. …
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 02:31 AM
1

The important part of this is to leverage her affair fog and desire into quickly agreeing the settlement. Since you can’t really enforce the time known parameters anyway, you can wave that in exchange for the “not till divorced” parameter.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 04:13 AM
1

Fill out a new emergency contact with you as primary and her SO as back up! When she asks about it, innocently say you took your cues from her. She obviously wanted one bio parent on plus “this guy”. You were agnostic on him but do insist on being one of the two emergency contacts for the kids. Go on to explain your expectation is to be one of the two recognized parents on all things concerning your kids. She should confirm if her desire is to be the other one or does she prefer it be “this guy”…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 10:56 PM
8

I think you should do a few things here: 1) recognized that this is a u pique opportunity to incentivize your STBXW to finish the divorce through to executed Marital Separation Agreement, now. The quicker this is over and amicable, the better for you financially and your kids. 2) while in the “affair fog”, wife will be MUCH more amenable to reasonable terms than after this ends, she is heartbroken, and she’s displacing her anger over her lost love on YOU…while hating you more. (Ask me how I know…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 08:20 PM
5

There is zero upside in “formally” giving up custody. That document will be weaponized by your ex against you. Just do your best to keep a relationship with your kids. Ina couple of years your 16 year old will be 18. You can work to strengthen your relationship with her then, hopefully with less interference. It sounds like you may have had terrible counsel, giving up spousal support both from a financial and strategic perspective. That fueled a lot of what’s happening now. Also acting based on …
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 05:45 PM
9

Take comfort in knowing that you did WAY better than most! 20% of your earnings for the next nine years buys back 100% of your life forever! …and if you didn’t do it, she’d be spending 50% while keeping you married and limiting your ability to find your happiness! Go out there and be happy!!
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 03:09 PM
3

Wish I’d thought to change contact name, Hilarious! A few suggestions: “Womb Donor”, “basket case”, “tape-worm”, “Neediest Child”, “parasite”, “tragic outcome”…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 04:20 PM
3

In my state, I’ve been told guidance would be 1/3 of the imputed difference at time of divorce, so about 18K/year alimony , for 1/3 the duration of the marriage (if less than 20 years), so four years.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 10:56 PM
11

I don’t know your jurisdiction, but in the overwhelming majority in the U. S. The “enterprise value” of your business would be zeroed out of the calculation and the alimony/ child support would do the heavy lifting of equitable distribution. You WOULD be entitled to 50% of assets. She would be entitled to 50% of the liquidated value of your business without you working there, which would be near zero. Don’t reconcile for your stated reason. DO GET A NEW LAWYER!
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 03:48 PM
2

Cause it absolves the wife of any responsibility. She isn’t even responsible to communicate what he “needs to work on”.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 06:37 AM
1

Following are the flaws in this premise along with why I would hypothetically accept it. OP’s expectation that a person pursuing a relationship with someone must assess the character and capabilities of a prospective partner’s kid’s other parent is ridiculous. First, “good dad” is pretty subjective. “Fit and able” is now a judgement you want a person’s romantic partner to determine about their kid’s other parent? How close of a relationship do you feel a kid’s parent is entitled to have with the…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 03:31 PM
13

OP, I can help you see you got an AMAZING DEAL!! First the math: I’m assuming your in the U. S. you indicated 60K of equity in a house nearly 50% paid off. So house is 120-150K. To get the equity out , you’d have to sell it. 6% of 150K is 7,500.00. So the 60k is really only 52.5K distributable. That means if there really is 60k equity your distributable share should have been $26.5K. You got $10k. That means you only had to pay $16.5 to get that walking piece of human misery out of your life!! N…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 06:51 PM
3

Advice: 1) Do not isolate yourself from your friends and peers. Doing so will wrongly be interpreted as shame and STBXW’s narrative will be accepted. You should actively engage with your friends (both yours and shared). You don’t have to initiate a smear campaign, but you should tell them that you are getting divorced, your wife has and continues to behave badly and spin a narrative to hold others (you) responsible for her behavior. You have heard through the grapevine about this, and while you …
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 04:06 PM
4

How much are you supposed to be paying per the state spousal support calculator?
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:02 PM
5

Don’t just take her name off the account. Remove the money from that account and that bank. Open a new account at a new bank. Have all payments redirected from your old account. This stuff gets messed up all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 04:22 AM
8

Don’t get hung up on this. You’ll probably be buying in the same market you’re selling in, so pricing be low, high, or the same will mitigate with a buy and a sale. You don’t know if things “get better” in a month, a year, a decade or ever. The best thing men can do financially in a divorce is get it DONE… all the way…ASAP! You’re stopping over to pick up Pennie’s while stepping over the bags of dollars.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 04:22 PM
3

The likelihood that you can undo or change someone’s mind about divorce through fear is pretty low.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 05:03 AM
6

DO NOT DO THIS! You are getting a divorce. Proving to your STBXW that it’s in her interest to rewrite history to maximize what she gets materially and minimize what you get when this marriage is officially terminated is 100% against OP’s interests!! Be calm, humble, sad and lightning quick in getting the divorce papered and agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 03:33 AM
5

You mis-understand the term “amicable divorce”. You aren’t divorced yet, your STBXW is not being reasonable. She just threatened you if you don’t do what she says, or if you even see something differently. These were signs in my “amicable divorce”, I ignored. I would have been so much better off immediately drawing a hard line and most importantly wrapping it up immediately!! Go HARD!
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 03:47 PM
1

I don’t know what state you are in, but in mine and most others, successfully suing her for legal costs because of infidelity would be extraordinarily unlikely as most states are “no-fault”. Additionally, attempts to economically disadvantage one spouse by another in funding their divorce expenses would be prohibited, and would cast the party that did so in a very unsympathetic light.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 08:56 PM
1

You have to look at it from the perspective of : whatever the behavioral expectations are in that household, and the actions taken to encourage those behavioral boundaries, are endorsed, supported by and carried out by the “natural” mother. From your perspective, If your Ex’s SO is executing on that, it is as your Ex’s agent and with her tacit agreement and acceptance.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 08:49 PM
1

You have to look at it from the perspective of : whatever the behavioral expectations are in that household, and the actions taken to encourage those behavioral boundaries, are endorsed, supported by and carried out by the “natural” mother. From your perspective, If your Ex’s SO is executing on that, it is as your Ex’s agent and with her tacit agreement and acceptance.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 08:48 PM
5

Nah. Kids and adults live in a wide world where different rules, cultures and behaviors exist all over the place. It should not be”confuse” a kid that it’s a reasonable expectation that one’s behavior reflect the culture and expectations of that place. This is the case for your home, relative’s homes, school, a sports field or court, a restaurant, place of worship, office, cemetery, etc. That a parent and their significant other, who is providing a home and environment for a child, can’t BOTH se…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 04:20 PM
4

1) Lack of intimacy. 2) Disdain for me. 3) a simmering rage towards me that justified all sorts of hostilities towards me. 4) Certainty that I was the root cause of her unhappiness. 5) me getting exhausted living with someone who was certain that her misery was all my fault. 6) the loneliness I felt, living inside a marriage like that. 7) my realization that consistently accepting anger, disdain and hostility from someone was modeling a terrible relationship for my children.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 03:47 PM
1

If you are in the U.S., there will likely be statutory guidelines that will determine a lot of the conditions. In most states, if she can’t afford an attorney and you can, you will be compelled to pay for both. Word to the wise: The faster you can bring it to a close the better off you and your kids will be financially.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 02:59 AM
1

When the boredom/depression and lack of spark in your relationship leads you to say “I don’t want to even try. “, that’s probably a good sign. It means you don’t value the relationship enough to try to fix it. You don’t love her. Let her have a decent shot at finding someone to spend her life with who will love her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 07:21 PM
6

You may want to ask for a copy of his drivers license and his phone number, just in case something happens to your Ex. You should have his contact info to be used only in the case of an emergency. You can discreetly use that info to run an inexpensive background check: make sure he isn’t a known child abuser, alcoholic, criminal or potential menace to your daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 10:02 PM
1

This is a really insightful response. I’m going to follow this guidance as well. Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 11:58 AM
7

Another reason to decline is that whether an attempted assumption is successful or not, the process takes a long time. Your agreement to participate in this process could be interpreted (mis-interpreted) by a court as your tacit agreement NOT to enforce your rights until every possible avenue for assumption is exhausted. You may also burden shift the obligation from her to you. Do Not Do This!! It’s A Trap! It’s A Trap!!
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 11:15 AM
1

OP, you may not be allowed to direct or withhold child support as that is for your children, not your ex-wife. You better get that signed off on by your attorney as enforceable. I suspect a judge will say that you will be prohibited from directing the use of child support towards the payment of the mortgage for a home you have a continuing interest in. Additionally, what are you going to do about neglect of the home which will damage its value over time. What about deferred maintenance on her pa…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 12:58 PM
5

Not A Lawyer but the following are my thoughts on your situation: The upside to your “hard lines” being fucked is that you will likely be MUCH better off forcing the sale of the house. If you don’t, you most likely stay on the mortgage which will materially limit your ability to qualify for another mortgage, should you so desire. The notion that your creature hoarding ex will vacate according to any agreed time-line is a fantasy. The notion that you will be successful gets g a judge to throw her…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 06:30 AM
3

OP, you absolutely MUST hire an attorney. There will be assets that never even crossed your mind that need to addressed in addition to the spousal support and/or a cash buyout for such on the front end.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 08:26 PM
2

Everyone’s different, but for me a few months after I was asked for a divorce, I was excited but nervous about dating again. It was SO MUCH FUN!! my Ex started dragging things out, and a mediated divorce that was agreed within a few months was reneged, and then things started going south. Are you really going to let a process (divorce) the time frame for which can be weaponized by a STBX determine when you decide to date again? I think it’s best to make that decision independent of the pace vari…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 05:37 AM
13

Your experience is very normal! The next iteration of it will be that it will take a long time to finish. She’ll think you’re amazing!! You’ll be thinking , ummm, wasn’t necessarily trying to run a marathon.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 03:29 PM
4

My regrets regarding divorce is that we waited SO LONG! Should have done it much sooner!
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 08:03 PM
2

3 thoughts: 1) Anything is possible. 2) what’s going on Thursdays? 3) careful what you wish for! I think you should arrange to have the kids for your entire weekend on your four day weeks, and not have them on the weekend at all on your three day weeks. This will facilitate you enjoying your freedom and new social/romantic life as well as having your kids for long weekends when you have them for four days. Unless you have a work (or other obligation) consider M-T-W and Th-F-Sa-Su. More fun all t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 03:08 AM
3

You can (and should) write up a lease in which you have language that deals with termination with XX days notice at Landlords sole discretion or with YY DAYS NOTICE at tenant’s discretion, to be evidenced by a signed termination notice scanned and emailed to the receiving party. You should get a lawyer to help with drafting appropriate language. This really should be easy and protects girlfriend as well, as this provides clarity for both of you. This is also an excellent place to spell out the f…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/25 02:02 AM
2

OP, you have to get a lawyer immediately! This is NOT the woman you married! This STBXW is literally just out for herself. You are kind, and have an innate sense of fairness. This is WHY you need a lawyer!! The attorneys can be paid out of the marital assets.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 04:10 AM
4

Seeing as your STBXW, left the country with your child, the “amicable” ship has already sailed. It’s also likely that in a few years your daughter won’t be 3 years old anymore, and will be in school most of the time you’re at work. Good Luck. This is Hard!!
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 04:48 PM
6

OP, you are very lucky!! Why? Cause so many situations are nuanced, complex and challenging. Yours is NOT! Following are some immediate questions that leap to mind, reading your post. 1) “For a while now”. Precisely how long is that? 2) “temporary co-living arrangement”. What is the exact date this temporary situation will end? If you don’t have a VERY SPECIFIC ANSWER, this is not temporary. It’s INDEFINITE! 3) I start to think we maybe are getting to a point where we can start repairing”. This …
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 04:02 AM
17

OP, You did NOT fuck up!! You should take 50/50 split on custody, assets, she pays statutory guidelines on both child support AND spousal support. “Future OP” will thank “today OP”. If your current lawyer doesn’t have the stones, get one who does. Do not mediate any longer. They all fall apart on the one yard line.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 11:40 PM
3

For men over 35- I’d propose 20% below one’s own age is the lower age boundary.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 12:31 AM
5

Pressing on everything seems like a good idea, however, you may want to discuss your suggestion of “mental illness” and getting an evaluation, as it would be a terrible irony for you if STBXW’s attorney used that effectively to have her declared your ward and you wound up paying her support for the rest of her miserable life…and she gets a pass on the other acts for the same reason.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 04:26 PM
7

I’m 56 and 2.5 years post separation and 1.5 years post divorce. I’m dating an amazing girl. She and I have been dating for 2 years. I started dating about three months after my Ex said she wanted a divorce. Online dating was brand new to me. I was really scared. You’re going to have a lot of fun if you put the work in.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 01:05 AM
4

How much equity is in the home? What percent of the equity is 52K? What is the interest rate on the loan? What are the rest of all the marital assets (retirement plans, pensions, investments, savings)worth? How much of that are you keeping? What about debt (educational, credit card, auto, etc.)? That is likely all marital regardless of who took it on. Will you come off the mortgage immediately or stay on it? (This will have a massive impact on your ability to borrow for a new home.) Maybe she sh…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 07:45 PM
9

OP, you should not give a shit about what she feels “adamant” about. I guess you could test that by saying “fine, I will continue to live in the house, keep primary custody of our son, pay you no child support since I’ll have custody”. See how “adamant “ she is.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 06:51 PM
6

If you haven’t already, file NOW!! The best outcome will be the result of the shortest process.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 03:25 AM
8

File immediately. It will help her frame any counseling help she gets and will shift her away from the “if” framework in her head. Also, the faster you get this done, the greater the likelihood of harmony afterwards. Mine started like this, then “something happened “ after we agreed to a mediated settlement. She got enraged. Everything changed. She reneged, then was hostile for a year of separation. Sucked.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 03:10 PM
9

She’s already not being cooperative. File in Nevada, then she can ask you for relief and you can choose to either give it or not.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 02:26 PM
6

OP, you are supposed to be excited to go on a date with a new person! You guys each decided to take a chance on meeting each other and that’s both validating and exhilarating, whether it works out or not! Enjoy, and good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 10:50 PM
3

Your STBXW IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!! She is acting adversarialy because she KNOWS you are both adversaries in this divorce. You are already yielding 50K to her in the retirement vs. investments accounts. You are entitled to BOTH the alimony and you/your kids are entitled to the child support. If she doesn’t want to pay you Alimony, you can calculate the net present value of the Alimony you would be entitled to for the period of time you’d be entitled to it and add it to the 25K that can be QDRO’d to …
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 04:53 PM
1

op, you are in an enviable position. The action you should take is both good for you and good for your kids. Your kids are living in an unhealthy household where they are being constantly modeled bad behavior and how one spouse should treat another. If you value being a good father, divorce will at least allow you to model a healthy environment for the 50% you will have your kids. You will eventually have romantic relationships and fun. Because at this time your spouse makes more than you, you W…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 09:25 PM
5

Highly depends on what your state of residency is: 1) Unless there are extenuating bad circumstances (like abuse) you will likely get as much custody as you want up to 50%. 2) Think long and hard about what percent you want. , and what days make sense for you. You WILL want half of your weekends to be child-free so you can pursue hobbies, interests, travel, relationships, etc. 3) your state will have a calculator to determine statutory guidelines for child support. In most states it’s calculated…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 06:13 PM
1

While that is better approach, my former wife wanted to feel the comfort of having a familiar person do the couples counseling. I was neutral on it as I didn’t see counseling as competitive.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 06:03 AM
5

Spouse picked couples therapist. It was someone who she was seeing for individual therapy as well. For first several sessions, things seemed to me to be unfairly tilted towards her favor. Even during this initial period, it was useful and helpful for me. I kept at it without care for “fairness” as I just wanted a path to improvement. One of several elements I liked about it was the therapist provided “safe place” for airing grievances and frustrations without repercussions outside of the session…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 06:09 PM
2

Could be totally dine. I was ready to I’ve on while separated. I did. Never looked back emotionally. Thst doesn’t mean that an individual taking a philosophical look at a relationship that failed is a bad sign. It’s probably healthy and indicates that this guy wants to make sure the same mistakes aren’t repeated in the future that occurred in the past. Why live an unexamined life?
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 02:28 PM
6

I’d recommend either of the following options A or B. A: 1) go to police and file a police report but don’t press charges… yet. Do not tell wife. 2) have an attorney draft a post nuptial agreement for you. 3) talk to wife and tell her that threatening divorce makes you feel “unsafe” and the only way for you to feel safe staying married is to execute a post-nuptial agreement. Present it to her and tell her to review it with an attorney. Post nuptial agreement will have language in which she confi…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 03:27 PM
1

Reality check: she has no income so the notion that the lender is letting you off the car loan sounds like wishful fantasy. Best bet is likely selling it and taking the lumps. Sell the house with a neutral realtor and negotiate that commission. You are on the hook along side her for the boob job, but she is in the hook for your credit card debt too. File ASAP so there isn’t any additional “bad behavior “ you take pipe on. Good luck! The faster you get this done , the less it will cost you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 12:47 AM
4

All forward looking statements and based off my experience in Illinois. This is predictive, not definitive or prescriptive. If oldest is “almost 18”, he will be the time your divorce is finalized. No Child support for him. There will be child support for the other two till they are 18. The amount of child support will be influenced by how much custody you each get. Alimony will suck. Probably 1/3 of the difference in your incomes. If she isn’t working, an income should be imputed. Length you’ll …
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 09:20 PM
6

Insider pro tip-Take on an empty stomach at least an hour before eating. Metabolizing fat before it gets into your blood stream interferes with absorption.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 02:57 AM
8

We both want what’s best for the kids, though we often don’t align in what that is, we know each other’s intentions are good. There seems to be an ongoing dance in which she tries to manipulate and triangulate the kids and I, while I try to avoid that while remaining close with my near-adult kids. There is the occasional random hostility that I try to evade. That’s about it. She wanted a divorce. She got one. If she needs help navigating, I am accessible. I hope she finds the life she wanted. Sa…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 12:24 PM
1

Keeping your kids in a home with an unhappy marriage means they have no time to see adult role models/parents in a home-life that is happy and healthy. Once you are divorced, the kids will have at least one (maybe two?) homes in which the parent s are less unhappy than they were before divorce. Modeling an unhappy marriage as if it’s “normal” will lead your kids to make bad decisions with respect to expectations in their own lives and relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 02:41 PM
12

I remember his same progression. Ask her what specifically SHE is going to work on and what specifically she’d like YOU to work on. Then tell her you feel you’d make better progress evaluating that part of yourself whole in the house and ask HER to leave to facilitate HER plan. It’s most likely a dishonest ask with an ulterior motive. I just went straight from receiving an ultimatum to divorce. Good Luck.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 06:21 PM
1

Be present for your kids. This may be more tough on them than you think. Refrain from saying too much that is negative about your STBXW. Get a FULL STD Screening. You don’t know if ex “jumped the gun” on extramarital intimacy, and future partners should be put at ease regardless. It also makes for an easy conversation when you want to “share such information “ for your own protection/peace-of-mind. If your done having kids, consider a vasectomy. Be kind. Be forgiving. Accept that this is. Time f…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 06:25 AM
5

You’re in a similar spot to me a couple of years ago. Get ready! You are about to find out how true this old adage really is: “Divorce for men is so expensive because it’s worth it!”
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 08:28 PM
1

You can calculate the value of a mortgage for $385K at your current rate (1.3%?) vs. market rate (4.1%?). By following hiring out the interest payments (not principal) over the remaining duration of the mortgage. Then you can calculate the current value of that total paid out versus he remaining duration. I’d use a discount rate equal to current market mortgage rates. 1/2 of that value should be the fair amount of additional consideration going to the party who is leaving the house. You should a…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 07:40 PM
5

Who cares what SHE wants!! What do YOU want? It sounds like you want two things: 1) to get divorced 2) for “her” to initiate it so it’s her fault. Lucky you, she already initiated by saying she wanted a divorce. Any half measure “take-backs” or calendar setting by her should be meaningless. File now!
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 05:17 PM
8

No. He didn’t. 100% would have been better if it ended at 10 years. Source- Divorced after 23 years of marriage - failed ultimatum.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 09:30 PM
2

I think you did great.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 09:24 PM
13

OP - “I was forced to cut off my friends because they kept telling me I could do better.” Nobody “forced you”. OP, you did this. BTW, your friends were and are right! You need to go to your friends and re-establish those relationships. Apologize, they deserve to hear it, and you deserve to feel empowered to take responsibility. You need to know and accept that what you and your wife have now is not a marriage, it is a “co-parenting relationship”. It is about providing the least bad, most support…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 11:12 AM
10

55 now. Vasectomy at 54. Separated at 53. I was needlessly concerned about procedure. Scared it would hurt. It didn’t. Scared sec would feel different afterwards. It doesn’t. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 12:21 PM
3

Was getting divorced. Knew I didn’t want more kids. Eliminate a risk variable for yourself and future partner. Procedure was very easy, only “uncomfortable” but NOT painful. Recovery was VERY FAST. Everything (including sexual)felt, looked and behaved the same after as it did before. Never have I regretted it. Good Luck!!
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 08:41 PM
7

I have a great idea on how to set this up. It could work financially. I’m actually going to talk to my friend who designs and underwrites risks!! If he bites on it, I’ll let you know.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 03:04 PM
4

Many banks will allow an assignment in these types of situations. Call your lender and discuss with them. If they do, structure your marital settlement agreement around that.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 01:04 PM
10

You have to look at the CS philosophically. The reality is that if you had stayed married, you would be spending more than that much on the kid monthly anyway. As for the rest of it, the “unhappy but settled” for stability was an illusion. Clearly it wasn’t stable/settled. The proof of that is that it’s now over. This position you have is sort of like that scene in the matrix where the character is “eating a steak” that isn’t real, but he has the sensation and pleasure receptor stimulations that…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 05:58 PM
20

My 23 year marriage ended with my (now) ex-wife asking for a divorce on our anniversary, literally minutes after returning from the airport following our oldest son’s college graduation. While I was shocked at the request for divorce, I did know that she was unhappy… which in turn made me unhappy spending my life walking on eggshells, and being ever vigilant for “secret tests”. After a few months of reacquainting myself with…myself, I got over my fear of being lonely, and realized I was alone bu…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 04:40 PM
3

When my wife and I separated, I took a few months to get my head straight then got on dating apps. (I suspect my ex did long before me, but so what?). I Dated some really great girls. One of whom I’m still dating exclusively after a year and it’s great. Life is for the living! Get out there and have some fun!
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 08:21 PM
12

My ex may be better off. I tried to make sure she’d be in a good financial situation to “pursue her bliss”. To some extent it’s just stuff. I can make more money. Maybe it’ll be enough? Giving up past money I. Exchange for a better future seemed like a better alternative than not doing g so. She asked for a divorce and was sure I was the reason for her unhappiness over 23 years. I figured, shit might as well try to be a good guy and set her up to either 1) achieve what she felt I wasn’t giving h…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 04:23 PM
1

So, you asked her to remove your name from the title ( which could have easily been construed as you asking her to execute any paperwork on your behalf), she did so, for a car you have no rights to OP, since it was awarded to her in the divorce, and now you are upset that she sold HER car, after complying with your request to get your name off its title? It looks like you still are infatuated with your ex and will do anything to maintain contact with her. You, OP are the one “thickening the plot…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 01:16 PM
2

I see nothing here from her end to be concerned about. That said, you have to balance your forces: 1) you have a “gut feeling” of uneasiness. This isn’t something to act on, but is something that should elevate your conscious awareness of her behavior etc. 2) you are wearing some damage from previous relationship experiences, and trying to force the transgressions of a former bad-acting partner onto your current partner. That’s not a fair burden to place on her. With a relationship comes the ris…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 12:58 PM
9

Same!! …best gift she ever gave me!
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 08:51 PM
8

This new procedure your ex is proposing sounds worse for your kid than the currently in place procedure. Do not talk to the court about how you “feel(disposable)”. They rightly shouldn’t care. Instead talk about a proposed change being adverse to your kids’ best interest. Go get em! I like your chances!
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 08:13 AM
2

You need a good lawyer NOW! It will be the best money you can spend, full stop.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 07:19 PM
2

Legit question (from a guy whose divorce after 24 years of marriage just got finished this past Friday): Presuming you’re in the U.S. - if the marriage is for “cultural and religious” reasons why not take OKEMPHASIS5923 advice?
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 08:57 PM
2

Asked me for divorce on 23rd anniversary. …nicest gift she ever gave me!
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 04:32 PM
2

How about- “I have one thing to say to my ex…Thank You.”
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 02:47 PM
4

It’s completely individual. Different people heal differently. Some require a lot of tile. Some require almost none.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 01:24 PM
1

There is a difference between “romantically loving someone” and caring for someone you used to be romantically involved with. Don’t confuse or conflate the two. Your happiest life lies ahead of you, not through the forced reconstruction of something broken with a person who refused to commit to working with you to stay together when you were married. Give her the agency to make decisions for herself and live with the consequences of the worst of them… and the best of them. No Do Overs!!
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 01:58 PM
1

…until she uses the foundation you provide to consider the next “draft class”!
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 01:54 PM
1

Ballpark of 30% of the difference in each of your salaries at time of divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 08:04 PM
1

Depends how you look at it. Is $16K per year for a long fucking time relevant to you or not?
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 07:34 PM
7

IANAL but I advise that you Sequester this money in a separate account. Don’t co-mingle it with other monies in order to keep the narrative simple as I written w is generally NOT viewed as “marital assets”.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 02:25 PM
2

Did she buy a winning lottery ticket?
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 10:02 PM
1

Being a Christian has nothing to do with it! Your respective families have nothing to do with it. It will not be “ easier” to stay together for a dual income miserable household. Divorce Now! Room mate if you want to split expenses. Go find someone who likes you! Then pursue a happy life!
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/23 07:28 PM
1

Your wife’s lawyer may have metered it in his office to make it appear that he mailed it on time but actually sent it later.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 03:45 PM
1

Maybe talk to a therapist about what issues you want to cover off on. Discuss how he might facilitate that conversation in therapy with you and the kids. Then have your group session(s). Let the kids be the ones to draw conclusions “mom’s a bum. Dad was put in a no win situation…etc.” You can just deliver facts, empathize, and let the therapist guide the sessions. Being in a “neutral” professional care environment should limit ex’s ability to characterize what comes out as you disparaging her. J…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 04:35 PM
2

Dealing with this now myself. It depends on the school. You will be able to show your more current tax return to support the adverse economic circumstance. Many Private schools (and some state schools) however will ask for a more supplemental disclosure that will find the other parents income and may impute. (Each school is different). Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 01:18 AM
3

Just finishing mediation now. Also trying to split amicably with wife. It’s emotionally difficult. That seems to express itself with financial stuff, so I think a mediator is sort of like a guide that keeps things on track and “friendly”. The mediator will work through everything with you and write up the agreement as a memo. You and your future ex will review it line by line with the mediator to make sure everything correctly reflects what you’ve agreed. Then, the mediator can recommend an atto…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 06:03 PM
2

After a twenty-three year marriage, I'm getting divorced fairly amicably. That doesn't mean I am happy with the terms being negotiated, but that's just stuff. It's clear that we aren't right for each other. I am sad that the relationship is over, but am not "angry" at my future ex-wife. She asked to terminate the relationship. She shared a list of reasons why we shouldn't be together any more. I hope she finds her bliss. None of this makes her a bad person. We just aren't the right people for ea…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 06:59 AM
3

Girlfriend may be right and looking out for your best interests. You own a new house which former wife may have a claim to technically as marital property since you never officially divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/22 12:37 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter