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42andatowel Archive

View 7 posts and 68 comments by 42andatowel on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I agree if your alpha enough and have enough attraction going on almost anything will work. And if your unattractive, nothing is going to work. I still think it comes down to her perceptions though. Does this statement sound like it comes from someone I want to fuck? If you're already someone she wants to fuck, then almost everything will come across that way. However if you're starting to improve, no longer a complete beta, but still have some improving to do, you'll need more than high school …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/16 09:10 PM
2

The other times she's done it in the past were because she just wanted a good hard angry fucking. But she's just had our baby son and is still recovering from second degree tearing so that's not it. This could still be it. She wants the "good hard angry fucking" but she can't have it. Doesn't excuse the behavior, you need to enforce the boundary, but don't rule out that she could be looking for exactly what you've responded with in the past. Her "Feelz" don't take into account her second degree …
/r/askMRP24/02/16 05:03 PM
2

How did it not occur to me to just STFU for ten minutes? It felt like sorcery the first few times I tried it. My wife has even said as much to me in the past, "If you would just leave me alone I'd get over it." However, I never listened, I always had to DEER it to death and all I was really doing was prolonging our arguments.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 07:26 PM
1

Interesting thought here. Someone mentioned once that shit tests were a form of foreplay, or even an initiation by her. Don't remember who said that. But I see your point, don't reward shitty behavior with time, attention and orgasms.....
/r/askMRP19/02/16 10:03 PM
2

That's what I thought it was. Intentional, Subconscious, or just normal nagging doesn't really matter at that point.
/r/askMRP19/02/16 10:01 PM
1

I'd want to see some real statistics, but I don't think you see as many widows pining away for their lost husbands with the younger generations. My grandmother never remarried after my grandpa passed away, she's been a widow for 30+ years. My Grandpa was the same way and he was a widower for 40+ years. My great grandfather was the worst. However, he got married at 16, and lived with my great grandmother for over 75 years before she passed. For 75 years they woke up beside each other, lived their…
/r/askMRP19/02/16 03:36 PM
1

I wasn't using it to make excuses per say, and I'm not sure it's clinical depression, and regardless, the #1 sure fire cure is to make life awesome and encourage/lead her to join me in that awesome life.
/r/askMRP18/02/16 08:55 PM
1

I read NMMNG, but to be honest I never really digested it, I think I was too plugged in still. I'll read WISNIFG next and then reread NMMNG.
/r/askMRP18/02/16 08:54 PM
2

Thanks for that solid example. It makes perfect sense. Acknowledge her feels without taking responsibility for them, then state my plan of action. I like the do it right the first time part too.
/r/askMRP18/02/16 05:40 PM
2

Good advice here. I'll make WISNIFG next on my reading list. I especially appreciate the advice about I statements instead of you statements. Makes sense, and I can already see how the you statements have been a problem for me in the past. I'm sure WISNIFG will help, but for the quick run-down, maybe this would have been better: "I will do X when Y comes in." And then STFU.
/r/askMRP18/02/16 05:01 PM
1

Yes, I still have work to do.
/r/askMRP18/02/16 04:32 PM
1

You want to be careful hear. This has nothing to do with mate guarding. But you also don't want to come off as if you are preaching to her. As others have set, definitely define the boundary she crossed, and then just help her realize that it's not in her best interests to continue to be taken advantage of like that. Your best probably just stating the boundary, and asking her if she realizes how her boss is taking advantage of her in these situations, then let her figure it out for herself, whi…
/r/askMRP16/02/16 09:41 PM
5

Chad showed her what he thought of her low libido and so should you....
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 03:15 PM
4

I would not approach this as mate guarding, but from the angle of her being taken advantage of by her boss (not sexually). Encourage her to set better boundaries with her boss.
/r/askMRP16/02/16 03:12 PM
4

This explains a lot.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 10:45 PM
0

My wife got mad about something, I don't remember the details (probably because I was being an asshole about something), and I went in for the ass slap literally right after she finished telling me off. Of course she was having none of that, still mad, etc. So I just moved on out of there. I came back about 10 minutes later, snuck up behind her, grabbed her ass (firm, massaging, not rough), kissed the back of her neck. She shoved me away, trying to still be mad, but she wasn't. I slapped her ass…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 04:00 PM
1

Others have deconstructed this much better than I can, but I just want to point out one thing I keep seeing over and over again on here. That is the wife with the drinking problem/issues that only surface when she's drinking, etc. and the captain who keeps letting her drink or even takes her out drinking. There are other problems sure, but if the issues surface like this when she's drinking, why are you taking her out drinking?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 03:44 PM
1

So many guys talking about how well they took a punch from their spouse and getting back up, as if that is holding frame and being an oak. My first thought was isn't the whole goal to get to the point where there are no punches......or in other words: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth. ... There is no spoon. ... Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. You become the oak, you bend, your wife doesn't change…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/16 07:39 PM
1

Fitness: Got my workout in today. Not a great one yet, but I can feel the burn in my arms. Diet: stuck with the diet last week and today. Already seeing results on the scale. Style: Day 1 dressed to impress. Game: game remains weak. Had some legitimate issues come up that prevented me from applying any game to the wife. But showed strong leadership on getting us through a mini crisis and not letting things enter a downward spiral. Finances: stayed on course, tracking everything. Resisted the urg…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 04:36 AM
2

Fitness: My Fitness sucks. For a variety of reasons excuses, I cannot join a gym right now. So I will breakout my dumbell set and work on the arms and chest muscles. MWF Arms, TuTH Chest, SatSun at least 30 minutes of high intensity cardio each day. Diet: I actually started this one in earnest this week. I have premade a months worth of healthy breakfast choices, and 2 weeks worth of lunches (grilled chicken breasts, salad, etc.) My wife handles the dinner plans. I will stick to my pre-planned b…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/16 09:19 PM
1

The whole reason we buy tickets (in addition to the minuscule chance of winning) is to play the dream game. The dream game helps see if we are on the same page and working towards the same goals. Plus it can be a good barometer of how willing she is to follow your lead. I have a lot of progress to make, but I can tell we are heading the the right direction because she responds to my leadership/vision in these exercises.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 03:25 PM
1

We did that recently, all of us got new phones on their payment plan and the bill dropped about $40 a month.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/15 02:50 PM
1

I agree with TRPShill, we need the RedBull story.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/15 02:47 PM
9

I think this is the problem with No-Fault divorce. If my wife gave up her career, stayed home with the kids for 20 years, then I dropped her for a hot young 20 something the day the kids left for college, that's completely different than if she's been a shrew for 20 years, dumped me for Chad and still wants a cut of my income. In a no fault divorce, no one should pay. If there is "fault" established then that should impact who pays what.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/15 05:15 PM
1

She wants to quit and be a stay at home mom which we could barely afford at the moment. I wish she could stay at home too, but I don't like her holding it over my head like it's something only for me. OP Indicated he was open to the idea, just not right now. She may never get to be a stay-at-home mom. By the time they get the debt paid down there may be some other goal they are working towards that requires her to keep working (savings goal, bigger house, new car, anything really). However I thi…
/r/askMRP24/11/15 02:41 PM
2

Child care would go away if she quit working to be a stay at home mom. As for the debt. Make a detailed plan/schedule that shows how/when the debt will be paid off, and then show it to her so she can see a future as a stay-at-home mom in X years (2, 5, etc.). Then when she tries to bring it up again, just remind her of the plan.
/r/askMRP23/11/15 02:36 PM
1

DEER stands for Defend Explain Excuse Rationalize. AKA Logic, never try to use logic with a woman.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/15 02:23 PM
2

It's not really about the trash. Are you a lazy fuck that doesn't take out the trash because you're busy playing videogames or watching sports? ^^^^^^ This times 1000. My wife went off on me one night I didn't take out the trash. It had one fucking bag in the can, I didn't feel it was worth it to drag the can to the curb for that, knowing trash gets picked up twice a week. I screwed up, DEERed, but of course it was really never about the trash. Afterwards I was able to reflect, realize my mistak…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/15 05:29 PM
2

Can we have sex now? Please Please Please Please Please Please 5 seconds later Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Why not? Why? Why? Why? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now?
/r/askMRP20/10/15 09:50 PM
2

Anyway, why don't you just invite her to vegas? If you're really not looking to fuck around Vegas is actually more fun if you're with an SO... I couldn't agree with this more. I had a business trip to Vegas once, thought it would be fun to take my wife, but she would have been bored while I was doing my work stuff, so I helped organize the equivalent of a GNO trip to Las Vegas with her two best friends. I got her friends a room right next to ours, and they all hung out during the day while I was…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/15 07:44 PM
3

How about some type of "bad girl" punishment Maybe even something that lasts until she is out of debt. "Bad girls" have debt and must be punished until they pay off their debt. Then when she pays off the debt find some way to flip the script, and essentially make her do the punishment again, but phrase it as her "reward."
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/15 06:36 PM
1

when he finishes it...
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/15 06:32 PM
2

Regarding the board games or any other competitive games: Fucking play that shit to win and with a chip on your shoulder. If you are going to win every single time no matter what because you are better, you can throw a game now and then. But don't ever reveal that you lost on purpose. When you win, do a victory dance. When you lose, be a good sport and encourage her to do a victory dance. You aren't playing Strip Monopoly. You are playing Monopoly. Women love a man who can focus on winning inste…
/r/askMRP01/10/15 02:39 PM
1

OI is definitely easier when you are A. getting a decent baseline of sex, and B. have other options. For me though the big wake-up-call was realizing that it wasn't her fault she didn't want to fuck me. This has really fueled my OI. I'm the one who let myself go, added all these pounds of unneeded fat, and got flabby. The cardio is helping with the weight, but I've got to get to the gym, or get some weights at home. Just the other night my wife was reaching up and feeling my arms during missiona…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/15 09:27 PM
2

My SMV is definitely not high enough yet, and hers is still low enough to give her some body image issues, but I agree on all your points. Action plan: Continue to increase my SMV by: a. Getting to a gym and start lifitng. (I'm doing lots of cardio at home right now). b. Start tracking my diet better and cut out the sugar/soda. Continue leading her to increase her SMV so the body image issues go away.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/15 09:04 PM
2

This is ridiculous. Women decline in value after age 28. Men increase in value afer age 28. Actually, according to OKCupid's real world data the decline starts even sooner: The data differs from that of many statistical reports in that it hasn’t been collected by survey, but directly from the preferences of OkCupid users, leaving out any questions about the honesty of its subjects. So what’s that magic age for men? http://www.ijreview.com/2015/09/432382-new-book-determined-age-men-think-women-ho…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/15 08:53 PM
3

Sorry, didn't mean to type an entire essay on your post.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/15 08:44 PM
5

The standard advice here is if she turns you down for sex, be OI, don't act butt-hurt, and go do something else. I'm still struggling with many aspects of RP, but I've got OI down now. However I don't follow the standard advice 100%. I think truly internalizing OI, realizing it's not her fault she doesn't want to fuck me, and my life will go on with or without sex (in that moment) has helped tremendously. It helps that I'm getting a decent amount of sex to start with, but I think OI is one of th…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/15 08:44 PM
7

My wife has started working out in the evenings, one thing my wife hates though is pointlessly changing clothes and creating more laundry, so she generally has started wearing bummier/workout clothes all day, so then she works out, takes a shower, then puts PJs on. Prior to starting to work out again she had gotten into the habit of wearing dresses 90% of the time. I was loving this. So now I'm trying to figure out how to combat her practicality while still encouraging the work out. I have bough…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/15 06:48 PM
1

Your entire problem can be summed up here: I'm sure she knows I'm not leaving. If you're not willing to leave, then all the dread in the world won't help, because it's false dread. Ask for an open relationship, then go have the kind of sex you want. I'll ad one thing here though, depressed can often present as lazy, when it's really a lack of motivation caused by the depression. Lead her to the doctor to get that checked out.
/r/askMRP28/09/15 07:27 PM
1

This is some good advice. Thanks. And being out of my normal routine/spaces may help me get started with a new routine.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/15 02:15 PM
1

Yes, even though I haven't noticeably increased my physical SMV, in preparing for this business trip I've bought some new clothes, some new shoes, all decent upgrades from what I used to buy. My wife has been on-board with these purchases/changes, but she's also made a few comments about other women related to my travel lately. So even just the slight wardrobe upgrades are inspiring some subtle dread. Ironically, for the 1st time in my life, I don't care as much about her reaction to all of this…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/15 08:51 PM
1

Find a good male friend you can vent or even victim puke to if you must.
/r/askMRP19/08/15 09:58 PM
1

I think a key thing for a "date" is that it's something out of your normal routine. If you always go to dinner on Wednesday night, it's not really a date, unless you step up the caliber of restaurant, etc. If she's just tagging along to events and activities you ordinarily do, that's not really a "date." The key in all of this is she needs to feel it's a special activity, something you specifically planned to do with her. Doesn't mean you can't have a standing date night every week, but if you d…
/r/askMRP19/08/15 09:10 PM
2

Or more guaranteed to kill a sex drive.
/r/TheRedPill17/08/15 05:46 PM
3

Actually, it varies a lot based on where you live. Whether there is a state income tax or not, etc. The average single guy making $50K a year, pays approximately $5K in federal income tax and $3.5K in social security and medicare taxes. So he's left with $42.5K In my area, a good two bedroom apartment is about $1200 a month (for a good one) add in utilities, cable/internet, etc. your still well under $2K, but we'll say $2K, divide by two for your roommate, so $1K each. Even if food and cell phon…
/r/TheRedPill17/08/15 05:40 PM
1

I knew what I was getting myself into. I was full on White Knight/BB I can fix all your problems for you. It's definitely a mental problem, she rationally knows that they are unreasonable road blocks, but has trouble overcoming them. She has gotten better now about recognizing the road blocks (thanks to some help/nudging from me) and finding her own ways around them (like cleaning supplies in all the bathrooms). She still has down days, but instead of moping around waiting for me to "ask" what's…
/r/askMRP14/08/15 05:15 PM
1

My wife struggled with this for years. I'd go to work, come home and then clean house, go to bed, rinse repeat. All the while getting denied sex, or getting unenthusiastic duty sex. Her problem was two-fold. She is a perfectionist and if she can't do it perfectly, she has trouble getting started. What's the point of mopping the floor, because that tile over there will still be cracked when I'm done. Or why vacuum the floor, it won't take out that stain in the corner. Or why bother washing the di…
/r/askMRP14/08/15 04:34 PM
1

Years ago when I lost all the weight, my biggest diet change was cutting out the sodas, cold turkey, and switching to water. I stayed with that for about a year and then I slowly let them creep back in. The problem with my last weight-loss was it came from a BB frame. If I lose weight and get in shape my wife will want to fuck me more. When I still didn't have the sex life and relationship I wanted it was really easy to backslide. This time I'm doing it for me. She can come along for the ride or…
/r/askMRP14/08/15 04:02 PM
1

I need to internalize this! That is my number one source of empty/extraneous carbs! Do you want to drink that sugary soda, OR, do you want to be a better man?
/r/askMRP13/08/15 01:21 PM
1

I agree with your assessment, and in my case ADD may legitimately be an excuse for living unintentionally. Regardless, your suggestions would work well for an ADD person as well. Cooking should be fine, my wife is a SAHM, one of her biggest complaints from the whole family has been a lack of help in menu planning. This would be a great place for me to take leadership, and I'm 100% certain she would fall in line to follow and have dinner waiting for me on the table every-night when I got home fro…
/r/askMRP12/08/15 09:45 PM
2

Nice line, "I'm taking my toys and going home"
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/15 06:04 PM
2

Thanks. I was going to ask what SL 5x5 was, but I just googled that myself and found the answer. Pretty straightforward. Now to get a gym membership and find a time-slot to workout in. Any recommendations for a quick, easy prep/eat lunch, like protein shakes, etc. I could probably work this into my lunch break at work if I can get on-track with what to eat for lunch. The drinks are going to be harder. I drink way too many sodas. I don't do/can't stand coffee. Milk and water are fine. Also, I don…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/15 07:10 PM
3

Still lurking, reading, and digesting....I'm about 70-80 lbs overweight. Should I start lifting, or drop some weight first? I worked out with a personal trainer years ago, but that was a weight-loss program, I've never really lifted. Where should I start?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/15 03:44 PM
1

There's a link in post #26 you can copy and paste to download the file, but be careful the download site tries to trick you into download all kinds of junk: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=113599851
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/15 08:43 PM
4

I'm a long time lurker, rarely post, still have lots of work to do on myself, only halfway through the sidebar materials. However your post struck a chord with me. Maybe it's simpler than you are making it out to be. I've written and erased this multiple times, I'm having trouble phrasing this right, but, what if your wife just isn't horny enough/interested in back-back days of sex. She won't turn you down if you initiate, but since you just had sex last night, she's turning off all the triggers…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/15 09:23 PM
-4

all post wall bitches are bitches, but not all bitches are post wall bitches. Therefore your title statement includes everyone applicable, the rephrasing at the end is unnecessary and changes the meaning of your post.
/r/TheRedPill08/06/15 09:05 PM
3

I've been procrastinating about starting a fitness program. I need to lose weight, and build muscle. I can't really join a gym at the moment, but for the last 4 Monday's in a row I was going to start a push-up program (lifting my fat-ass off the ground repeatedly), with a goal of getting to sets of 100 push-ups by the end of the summer. Of course I had an excuse to not start again yesterday morning or this morning. No More! Tomorrow morning I start! Who cares that it's not Monday, that's just an…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/15 09:47 PM
5

If you can fit more than three fingers in something is wrong.
/r/TheRedPill01/05/15 03:38 PM
1

This. While you do need to save some cash to setup an emergency fund, once that is established, you should devote 100% of the savings to paying down the debt. It never made sense to me to try and save $10k, $50K, $100K, etc. while paying $500 a month on a loan (Car, House, Etc.). Pay that off!
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/15 02:57 PM
1

This is the key, add paying down her student loan debt faster to your mutual investment strategies. If there is a need for more security, add increasing savings, etc.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/15 08:21 PM
1

I've got two more: What do you do when your wife's watch breaks? Nothing, there's a clock on the stove. A man is driving his car and he hits his wife, who's fault is it? The man's, why is he driving in the kitchen?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/14 04:56 PM
2

Do you know why women's feet are smaller than men's? It's an evolutionary thing to enable them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/14 04:46 PM
1

I'm going to use this if I can remember it when my birthday rolls around.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/14 04:31 PM
-1

nothing like tossing the hot-dog down the hallway, eh?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/14 01:55 PM
3

Wife, family or friends, any youth/child depending the situation. ^^^^^ This and so much more. I would die for my wife, I would die for my kids, I would die for my friends, I would die for my family! It doesn't mean I would needlessly through my wife away. It doesn't mean I would jump in-front of a bullet if a second or two later a 2nd one was going to kill them anyway. But at the end of the day, if it's within my power to save them, yes I would die for them.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/14 06:28 PM
1

If she's generally receptive to what you suggest, then blindfold her, tie her up, and then go down on her until she orgasms....
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/14 04:36 PM
1

She's never reached an orgasm through masturbation? or She's never masturbated?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/14 04:34 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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