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6022141023 Archive

View 6 posts and 250 comments by 6022141023 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

>Also, there's nothing wrong with being a little socially awkward. I agree. I don't have a problem being socially awkward. That is just how I am. But women don't seem to think this way given.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/25 03:19 PM
2

Again, that's what I am doing. I am not trying to be charismatic and charming. I am just being authentically myself. But that means that I am perceived as somewhat socially awkward.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/25 03:09 PM
2

Holding a conversation is easy. But being charismatic and charming is not.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/25 03:01 PM
3

This is what I am doing. Didn't bring much success though.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/25 02:53 PM
2

I've always been talking to women like I have been talking to anyone else. I just tried to be my authentic self - because I was convinced that many people would find it charming. And it makes social interactions much less stressful if you don't try to be someone you are not. But I have never found anyone who did find it charming.
/r/ExRedPill03/11/25 01:46 AM
2

What specifically did you do? Because just talking to more people isn't doing the trick for me. I am active in many hobby communities, talk with a lot of people - but it has no effect on my social skills.
/r/ExRedPill03/11/25 12:30 AM
2

Exactly. And I struggle with being great with people in general. I am not super funny, charismatic or eloquent. In conversations, I am authentically myself but that makes me seem kinda awkward.
/r/ExRedPill03/11/25 12:17 AM
3

I always was pretty alright making acquaintances and friends. But never really managed to charm women. The verdict is probably: "Nice guy but kinda awkward".
/r/ExRedPill03/11/25 12:15 AM
1

>I literally don't know how to have a conversation with a woman This is my problem indeed.
/r/ExRedPill02/11/25 11:51 PM
1

I am generally not good talking to people. Lots of opportunities, very little success.
/r/ExRedPill02/11/25 11:32 PM
1

I am actually in many clubs and activities. And I have a lot of opportunities to talk to people of both genders. I am asking about how, not where. Because just talking to people isn't doing the trick for me.
/r/ExRedPill02/11/25 11:31 PM
3

How do you learn how to talk to women?
/r/ExRedPill02/11/25 08:18 PM
4

How is this in any way convincing for OP? He seems to be a decent guy but doesn't seem to have any success with women. And yet, your piece of shit asshole brother is "using up women" (plural).
/r/ExRedPill22/08/25 04:33 PM
2

If you want to mingle with women and stay in shape, dancing is where you go. Not to the gym where you sweat amongst competitive guys and are around people who are constantly doing their solo reps. Country, swing, latin, ballroom, anything with a man and woman. And if you meet someone nice elsewhere, you have the perfect reason to ask her out on a date to dance. You wouldn't ask someone out to the gym by comparrison. Dance. What if you are a terrible dancer? I did salsa for almost half a year and…
/r/ExRedPill22/08/25 04:30 PM
5

Doesn't matter what is true. As humans, we are able to chose our destiny and suppress biology via conscious action and societal pressure.
/r/ExRedPill06/07/25 09:01 PM
1

Yes. Though I actually wish I would have worried more in my teens and 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 04:30 PM
1

I am one of these men. What kinda self-improvement would you suggest?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 03:53 PM
2

Yes. When I was in my teens and 20s, I didn't have a single thought about it "being over". It only started in my 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 03:52 PM
2

Incel here. Lots of hobbies.
/r/ExRedPill04/04/25 08:11 PM
2

Both are terrible human beings, but neither of them are incels. Which kind of supports incel ideology.
/r/ExRedPill02/04/25 03:21 PM
18

I got the same criticism, but mostly from women. That being very focused on looking and smelling nice made me feminine and vain.
/r/EverydayMisandry11/01/25 05:44 PM
12

Who makes gay jokes about you?
/r/EverydayMisandry11/01/25 05:35 PM
2

But how do you improve your looks when you already go to the gym, dress well, have a decent haircut, groom well.
/r/seduction05/11/24 09:58 PM
2

So how do you actually become desirable?
/r/seduction05/11/24 08:30 PM
1

>Or see a sex worker? Considering it. Or some sugar baby arrangement.
/r/ExRedPill05/11/24 01:10 AM
1

I would highly recommend spending more time with happily married couples (even family members, like married siblings or cousins) You don't have enough married friends. How would that help?
/r/ExRedPill25/10/24 12:49 PM
1

Been doing this for years. Hundreds of women. Never any success.
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 12:14 PM
1

>What things are you going to regret not having done in your 30s once you get to your 40s? Can't think of anything.
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 07:40 PM
2

>It seems like has a need for sexual exploration that isn't being satisfied. I think you'd feel better if you felt sexually desired or if you had the skills to access these sexual escapades that you feel deprived of. Thank you. This is exactly it. And my biggest problem is actually autism. This seems what is really preventing me from doing the things I want to do. And it hurts. I have major FOMO and a burning envy of neurotypical people.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/24 07:35 PM
1

Besides, being in your 30s and 40s is still young enough to fulfil MANY of the same or similar experiences as someone in their late teens and 20s. Speaking from my own experiences and those of my friends and family. For me, this seems unlikely. I at least cannot imagine it which might be again my warped worldview.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/24 03:13 PM
0

Maybe find more interesting friends who have better things to talk about than pining on about the past when they were young & dumb? It's honestly kind of sad if the topic comes up every time you go out with them. People who are happy with their present lives don't usually dwell on their teens and 20s so much. Sex is great, but there are like a billion more interesting topics to talk about. No offense to you, OP, but your friends sound about as boring as the kind of people who brag about getting …
/r/ExRedPill22/10/24 01:40 PM
1

Like what?
/r/ExRedPill22/10/24 01:37 PM
1

The primary emotion is envy. And envy is due to unfulfilled desires.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/24 12:08 PM
-1

Because that's how it goes. What her husband showed was a normal reaction. If you would be in the situation he is in, you would feel the same. And I would feel the same too. This is why I feel it is over for people like me. There is no way to fix it. The damage is done.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/24 12:05 PM
-1

The kinda sexual experiences you make when you are that age and which shape you.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 08:37 PM
-1

As a 30 year old, you cannot experience what you should have experience in your teens and 20s. It's 15 years since I am out of college.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 08:29 PM
-4

So. What is there to do in my 30s? I am already past my prime.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 08:18 PM
0

Where did I empathize with her rapist?
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 07:38 PM
4

What are your regrets? That you couldn't have sex when you were young? Or that you couldn't have sex with young women? Or just couldn't have sex? Or you couldn't experience the feeling of sex in your youth? All of these things. Though missing out on these things when I was young and in my prime is the worst thing.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 06:20 PM
1

And I have those regrets. This is why I am envious of promiscuous people. Because they have achieved what I could not.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 05:37 PM
1

I wouldn't say ghost. They are just not very interested in engaging with me in the first place.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 03:24 PM
1

Finding people willing to get to know me.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 03:04 PM
2

The usual stuff: being more social, making platonic friends, expanding my hobbies, gym, grooming etc.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 03:01 PM
-1

Small hint: it is because I am envious of people. I am not angry that other people are fucking, I am angry that I am not.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 02:45 PM
2

What do you think is the source of that pain?
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 02:28 PM
0

I know what I am angry. That doesn't make it go away. In fact, I am not sure if I want it to go away.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 02:14 PM
1

I think in life the best attitude is just to accept the cards one has been dealt, try to make any changes you are able to, and never compare oneself to others. But what is the point of making changes when things cannot be changed?
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 01:45 PM
-2

She was raped. She was raped and became hypersexual and yet you are spiteful. I understand you are looking for support here, but it’s hard to be sympathetic when this is the case. You don't need to be sympathetic with me. Same as I don't need to be empathetic with anyone. The time for that is over. Also, you can never change the past. Your only choices are to heal or to continue to struggle. Both terrible choices.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 01:44 PM
-6

You're not understanding that you wouldn't be suppressing them with therapy, you'd be further examining them, coming to understand them, accepting them, and healing. Maybe not entirely, but better than today, surely. Here's the thing. I don't want to heal. I want to fix my past, not accept it. I married a man I loved very much. A lot went wrong, and one of the elements of that was that he had not had sex with a woman and I found out the hard way and too late that he was very jealous of my past a…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 10:38 AM
4

In your case, these feelings are likely amplified by hearing about other's pasts, and that's fair. I would recommend you don't talk to people like that, or at the very least, don't talk about these topics with them. This actually caused a rift with friends, because whenever we are out the topic eventually comes to that, and I cannot cope and need to go home. If being a virgin is the problem, I can't help you there, but, it's not impossible to get laid either, despite your situation. The point is…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 04:24 AM
7

I don't know if it's me or the therapist. I have a lot of toxic things to share and I feel self-conscious about that.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 04:22 AM
9

Yes. And these negative emotions are valid. And suppressing them with therapy is pointless. People don't owe me anything, but I don't owe it to people to not be mad about it.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 03:26 AM
9

You would deal with it in therapy. You obviously know that this isn't healthy and it doesn't feel good being where you are at. It makes sense to seek support for this. In the end, I never felt comfortable sharing stuff like that with my therapist.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 03:21 AM
2

I kinda am. I wish I had stories like that.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 03:20 AM
3

All of these things.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 03:18 AM
1

What does that even mean?
/r/ExRedPill21/10/24 03:18 AM
5

No, you are an incel because you are not willing to try with women enough. I am honestly sick and tired of incels claiming they are too ugly to attract women when the reality is they are just so scared of rejection. I used to think I was an incel but the reality was I would only ask out like 4 girls a year. Women found me attractive, but I ignored them and couldn't tell they liked me. How many women did you need to ask out before you had success? I maybe asked out about two hundred women in my l…
/r/ExRedPill09/04/24 12:29 PM
1

Not building enough muscle.
/r/ExRedPill21/03/24 01:31 PM
1

I don't need to, but I want to. It feels terrible working hard on something but getting worse results than other people who put far less effort into it. The story which the gym told me - and that's the story of my life - is that genetics (or talent for other skills) > effort.
/r/ExRedPill20/03/24 02:16 PM
1

Very toned is not enough. There are hundreds of natties at my gym who look better after 1-2 years.
/r/ExRedPill20/03/24 01:28 PM
1

Have you tried working with a trainer? It can be tough to find a good one, especially if they're just the ones working AT the gym. It can also be really good to make friends with a Gym Bro, who can help you with the diet tips to feed those muscles and trim the rest. I have a quite a few gym bro friends. And they say that's it's likely just low T and that I should go on gear. And had them review my program and my diet and while it's not perfect, they say that it doesn't explain my slow progress. …
/r/ExRedPill18/03/24 01:21 AM
1

One thing that I can suggest right off the bat is finding something that you are good at that you can develop into a hobby. And this is the problem and the main issue of my low self esteem: there is nothing I am really good at. I have no talents. Go out to a batting cage and take lessons there, or a driving range, or take art classes, or any kind of continuing ed thing. Some of those are great for meeting people too, like cooking classes (*** not necessarily for dating, not yet). I'm doing all o…
/r/ExRedPill17/03/24 02:05 PM
1

But is it possible you are pursuing women out of your league? Have you been able to have a chat with an NT buddy about your "league" issues? Have you been able to have a vulnerable heart-to-heart with anyone who may be brave to tell you that you are doing that if you rae doing that? And if they say no, it's not that you are aiming out of your league, well then ask them what they think is the problem. I had female friends tell me that I am too confident with my looks. Especially they told me that…
/r/ExRedPill17/03/24 02:00 PM
2

Yeah, self-esteem is an issue and I haven't been able to fix it yet. I have seen several psychologists about it but nothing really helps.
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 09:34 PM
1

Ok, but what is going on then? Do you have any sort of handle on why you struggle? I mean, there's a big difference between someone who has had multiple months-long relationships, but has never made it past a year, and can't understand quite why. As I said somewhere else, I am on the spectrum and a pretty awkward, dorky and clumsy guy. This never prevented me from forming friendships with women, because I am also kind, chill and even keeled. I guess I am in the weird position where I am good eno…
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 07:36 PM
2

For me, meeting people is not the problem. I live in a large city and I have a variety of hobbies where I meet people regularly. I also like to do things like classes and courses (art, cooking etc.) which allows me to meet new people. Generally, I have no problems making friends and acquaintances from these encounters. What I struggle with is romantic success.
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 07:21 PM
5

Your body will continue to be inferior if you dont go to the gym. I've been going to the gym for 7 years. This is what made me hate my body in the first place. Before I started working out, my body was just a body. Now it's a failed project and I feel so ashamed of it.
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 06:12 PM
1

But you actually have to ask women out on dates. I mean actually ask them out and show interest in dating them. In the past 12 monthes, if you have not asked out any women on dates, that is where you are going wrong. I have maybe asked out about a hundred women over the course of my life.
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 02:20 PM
5

Hitting the gym was the one thing which made me hate myself more than anything else. It made me realize how inferior my body is. It is the key source of my low self-esteem at the moment. Same with grooming, dressing better and haircuts.
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 02:19 PM
1

Have you tried getting into fashion a bit more? There’s many ways you can improve on, you don’t have to dress “sharp” or “masculine”, again, observe other people and if they wear something that you think is nice, try it on yourself! Not only will you look better but you’ll FEEL a lot better too. At first it’s gonna be boring maybe but chances are you’ll get into it and maybe you’ll end up getting more confident, and more attractive by extension. I have tried to get into fashion more. But to be h…
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 02:17 PM
1

I would love to have a partner who is like that. However, I haven't found someone like that yet.
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 02:14 PM
4

I am on the spectrum.
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 02:13 PM
2

Hmm.. Have you discussed this with your female friends? They know more than us on this subreddit, especially if they have a boyfriend. Maybe you could try asking them, what do they think about you, if there’s something you could improve, etc. Or if you have a male friend who’s good with women he can give you genuine advice. I have asked them and they told me that on the one hand, I am not as good looking as I think I am (following my assertion that I don't think my looks are holding me back). On…
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 03:07 AM
5

Maybe you’re a fun guy to be around. You say you have friends, so people like you already. I'm not really a fun guy, that people have told me. I have other qualities: I am kind, reliable, even keeled, chill, a good listener. But I am definitely not the heart of the party. You don’t know if maybe there’s a woman attracted to you. You just have to be brave and express your feelings. I have expressed my feeling many times. But without success. If there are women interested in me, I haven't noticed.
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 02:50 AM
3

And that was always my problem. I am a very direct, literal person and thus not a good flirt. Whenever I tried, it was not reciprocated. And on the other hand, I don't think somebody ever flirted with me.
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 02:48 AM
6

If you want a woman to be with you, show genuine interest in her, and be kind to her. I feel that I have been doing exactly that. It got me lots of friends but no romantic partner.
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 02:24 AM
9

I myself am 36 (so not 40+ yet) and fit under that umbrella. And I know a few people who are in the same situation. I guess the first generation of incels is slowly approaching forty and you will see the evidence soon.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/03/24 11:16 PM
1

The why aren't all the models attracted to me :(
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 01:54 AM
1

My visa status does not allow second gigs.
/r/ExRedPill10/11/23 03:42 PM
1

I do work on moving up in my career. But it probably will be another decade before I have a decent income.
/r/ExRedPill10/11/23 03:35 PM
1

Most of the better paying jobs in my field require experience and seniority. You cannot get them in a year.
/r/ExRedPill10/11/23 03:31 PM
1

How do you get a better paying job?
/r/ExRedPill10/11/23 02:06 PM
1

I guess I could have childhood trauma. My parents were extremely supportive of me and centered me too much.
/r/ExRedPill09/11/23 07:28 PM
1

Can I send you a DM?
/r/ExRedPill09/11/23 05:49 PM
1

I don't think so. At least not deep down.
/r/ExRedPill09/11/23 01:19 PM
1

You know exactly what to do but you don’t want to do it. I don't know what to do. Please tell me.
/r/ExRedPill09/11/23 01:17 PM
1

I actually do own a mid-level compound bow lol. Got into archery last year, though I let it kinda slide a bit this year. But I do have many hobbies. And I am not super swole but at least pretty ripped.
/r/ExRedPill09/11/23 01:16 PM
1

I have points 1-3 down. Still waiting for the payoff though.
/r/ExRedPill09/11/23 01:14 PM
1

Having some topics to talk about does not make you a good conversationalist. And this is where I struggle. Keeping interesting conversations that interests people.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 09:56 PM
1

So….what are sone topics you can keep in your pocket to discuss? Put in some thought and effort please. I usually discuss work, career, ambitions, and hobbies. I meet many people rock climbing so we discuss trip we've been on. I also ask people what music they listen to, what shows they like, what books they read etc.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 09:40 PM
2

Pursue your greatest dreams little by little. You wanted to be an artist, or a scientist? I always wanted to be a scientist. What music do you like? movied and the such? maybe learn some more about their history, maybe read some phylosophy books related to all that. Be interesting to yourself. I read a lot. Problem is that I am not very intelligent and have a problem retaining information. Work on your look, learn to trim your beard, try different styles, ask yourself what feels right on regards…
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 09:13 PM
2

Nope lol
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 09:06 PM
1

You say you want to talk - what stops you from talking about your week, your hobbies, or experiences you had with other people? Can you not think of what to talk about in the moment, or is it that you’re afraid of being judged about the topics you talk about? It about not being able to think what to talk about. Nothing comes to mind so we end up with typical small talk topics like the weather or work. It is not so much about being shy, it's more about being uncreative and slow-witted.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 08:32 PM
1

Not all of them. But several dozens of them.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 08:25 PM
2

The problem is that being normal looking and fit isn't enough anymore.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 07:46 PM
1

Never been on a date. Just because you meet people and talk to people doesn't mean they find you attractive.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 07:20 PM
2

What am I missing here? The fact that just doing things or liking to do things doesn't guarantee success or skill in these things. As I said, I am not good socially despite trying and wanting to be better. For example, I like to talk but have not much to say. There is a gap between intention and skill.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 06:32 PM
3

Please read the thread. I have mostly female friends and take cooking and yoga classes. Stay away with French though, after learning it in school for six years, I am done with that lol.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 06:28 PM
1

From what you wrote and your comments, it seems you have trouble asserting yourself, your needs, and asking women out. Like you try your best to not really be seen or cause any conflict - just ask questions and listen, no opinions of your own, lack in confidence in who you are as a person. Yes and no. I am a person who loves to be be in the center of attention but rarely is. I love to talk and have nothing to say. If I have an opinion, I will be extremely stubborn, but I rarely have one. Do you …
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 06:09 PM
2

Get CBT because its your limiting beliefs that are stopping you I am in therapy with a male therapist doing CBT. And I don't know if I have limiting beliefs. Put yourself in front of people as much as possible. Go to as many social events as possible and try to make connections. This is something I have down. I meet hundreds of new women every year.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 06:06 PM
2

I talk with a lot of women but I am not a good flirt. I exercise but I am not very muscular. See for example here and here.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 05:27 PM
2

No idea about my social skills. But I have friends and a social network. Always primarily female interestingly.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 04:37 PM
2

​ Things like "masculine sex appeal" can be tricky to nail down, that's where so much RedPill nonsense comes in, they have a HORRIBLE idea of what masculinity means. To me (admittedly, not a man lol) masculinity means having integrity in your beliefs and morals, having the backs of your family and friends, being reliable, and protecting/helping the weak (very ambiguous, I know). But I think everyone finds their own definition of masculinity/femininity. I'm not the most stereotypically feminine w…
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 04:08 PM
3

The redpillers aren't wrong about everything. They have some legitimately good advice that gets a lot of guys into their community. But then they have all this toxic stuff like how bad women are and how they should mistreat them. Sorry but if women really are into traditional displays of masculinity, then yeah I would say that they are bad - since they reinforce reactionary gender roles. I thought going against the redpill was realizing that most women are not into traditional masculinity. Yeah …
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 03:47 PM
2

You gain confidence by finding things about yourself that you like, making changes that make you feel good about yourself, and working to reduce negative self talk (therapy can help with this). I haven't found the changes that make me feel good about myself yet. Have you told your therapist that you’re not confident about your physical appearance? Yes. But at least the CBT strategies do not seem to work yet. I love going to therapy but it is because I get affirmation from my therapist.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 03:43 PM
3

I mean positive masculinity not toxic masculinity which isn't unique to men in any way. So this includes: Being assertive and not overly repressing your anger.Having boundaries.Not being overly risk or edginess averse.Not being too needy and approval seeking.Not prioritizing emotions over truth too much.Emotional mastery through mindfulness.Being ambitious and competitive.Caring and helping for those you love.Pursuing financial success.Relaxing and having fun.Addressing anxiety and depression.Ha…
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 03:39 PM
1

I have shit genetics and thus huge problems gaining muscle. I posted pics elsewhere in this thread.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 03:34 PM
1

I actually have a lot of hobbies. I like rock climbing, yoga, soccer, windsurfing, skiing, cooking, reading. I have a cat and a reef tank. I recently got into archery and salsa. I try to take courses, e.g. art or cooking.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 03:32 PM
2

How do you do that?
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 03:29 PM
3

I did improv for half a year. It was the one thing in my life I was really bad at and didn't seem to improve.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 03:27 PM
2

I eat about 1 g of protein per lb bodyweight. Trying to keep my macros around 40/40/30. It's just shit genetics I guess.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 03:25 PM
3

OLD doesn't really work for me due to lack of matches. So I mostly try to meet women via hobbies or friends-of-friends.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 03:11 PM
3

Make some friends with guys and develop those masculine traits. This is my biggest issue. And the problem is that this also what the redpill recommends. Hit the gym and improve your grooming and style. I hit the gym but I have problems building muscle. Pics here and here. How can you improve grooming and style?
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 03:09 PM
-9

It's an accurate description.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 02:32 PM
2

I always had problems making friends with guys. But I had and have lots of female friends.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 02:28 PM
9

​ My advice would be to expand your social circle, try some activities you've never done before and meet new people, and try to make genuine FRIENDS with some women with NO expectation of attraction/romance. Hang out with some women that you aren't attracted to and get used to talking to women as people, not some mysterious other species. I grew up with a single mother and three sisters and always had primarily female friends. In university, I studied in a very female dominated subject, and my c…
/r/ExRedPill08/11/23 02:27 PM
1

Why does that matter?
/r/ExRedPill30/10/23 01:27 PM
1

Sure. I am very envious of males who are promiscuous. Though I simply know fewer of them.
/r/ExRedPill24/10/23 04:01 PM
2

And you're totally allowed to remove yourself from the circumstance of seeing others eat sandwiches. Yes. That's what I need to do. It is not good for my mental health anymore to always be exposed to other people's sexual stories.
/r/ExRedPill23/10/23 06:32 PM
1

I guess to use the sandwich analogy: I'm hungry and I'd love to have a piece of the sandwich. But yeah, it might be better to just stop looking at people eating the sandwich. I should try to remove triggers.
/r/ExRedPill23/10/23 05:44 PM
2

At the end of the day, if you ever wanna have casual sex, or sex in general, a great start is just being friends with women, talking to em, spending time with em, treating em the same as you would any other friend. Becoming a person that only spends time with other men is not a long term solution and by the sounds of it could set you back from your overall goals. I was always the guy who had primarily female friends and never did well with male friends. And I believe that might be an issue.
/r/ExRedPill23/10/23 04:06 PM
3

I'd love to have that phase. But let's be real, exploring their sexuality freely is not something most males are able to do. I am slightly above average looking so it simply isn't within my control. Only very attractive males can freely explore their sexuality. Hence, the envy.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 09:55 PM
1

What would you suggest?
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 09:42 PM
2

Yes. It's envy.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 09:41 PM
-3

Sure. I'd still swap genders.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 09:41 PM
1

As I said elsewhere, the answer is ENVY.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 09:40 PM
1

However, isn’t a woman actively inviting you to share her body, heart, and mind exactly that? Depends on whether this is something you desire. We only make the ONS comparison if we view relationships through a quasi-transactional lens. In a relationship, she tells you her deepest thoughts, secrets, insecurities. Surface level sex does not even come close. Makes no difference for me. A one night stand does not compare to the proposition of someone wanting to live their life by your side. The one …
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 05:20 PM
1

I do.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 02:31 PM
1

It’s not a consolation prize—it’s the prize. For women. But not for me. I'd rather be someone's ONS than someone's boyfriend. The latter is just easier to achieve. Have you bonded with partners about sex? We had good sex. That was the whole point. But in the end, I always ended things because I was still unhappy about my lack of experience. Rinse repeat.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 01:29 PM
4

OP: a relationship will always be infinitely better for exploring your sexuality. Random sex was always awkward and kinda terrible. In recent years, I have been in several relationships with people who genuinely liked me, with my whole motivation just being exploring my sexuality. In my current mindset, a relationship is kind of a consolation price which you go into because you couldn't get casual sex or FWB.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 01:16 PM
2

It all seems like this amazing thing in your head but in reality it leaves you empty and is not fulfilling at all, it only seems so great because you are starved for validation and connection (aka trying to fill a void). This is what I have been doing with relationships though. What I really want at this point is casual sex and to sow my oats, but since I cannot do that I have been going from relationship to relationship. I would rather have fun with someone I connect with, someone who truly see…
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 12:38 PM
4

I always had lots of female friends and I guess that was one of the main problems. Because you always hear about their sexual escapades. At this point, I believe it would be better for my mental health to cut contact with them.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 12:30 PM
2

what do you think you could personally do to maybe close the gap a little bit? What I am trying to do is to date as much as possible. But still, hard to close the gap. Especially since the women my age are interested in other things by then.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 12:27 PM
2

Try putting yourself in their shoes. Genuinely. Speaking from my own experiences when someone, male or female, is being promiscuous it is usually not a great period in their life. Looking for love in all the wrong places. Maybe drinking too much This might be true for women but it isn't for men. You need to be on top of your game to be promiscuous as a man.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 12:25 PM
1

As I said elsewhere, it's envy.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 12:24 PM
1

its the natural lifecycle of red pill, you lack quality women in your life this is why you get jealous. As a man you have only one option, get better How would you do that? I was in the military so I got very good at hooking up with women because I only had x amount of time with them before I never saw them again so my higher body count neglects theirs but if I hear she has equal or higher I cut her off immediately I don't care of her body count since I am only looking for hook ups anyway. ps ge…
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 02:40 AM
0

Maybe, if I would have made these experiences, I would think the same. But I didn't. There is this large hole in my biography and I find it hard to get over it.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 02:11 AM
5

Yes, I do have resentment and negative feelings. But it's due to envy. There are some people who have some misguided idea that women should keep themselves pure. I don't think that. I would describe myself as very sex positive, very open to sex and very pro sexual exploration. But I was never able to explore that myself. And that creates envy towards those who were able to explore sexually.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 01:50 AM
1

Are you dating divorced women as well or only those who have never been married? Yes. And I do believe that there are many women who are into something casual. This just isn't the set of women I have success with. On the other hand, I have lots of interest (both IRL and on the apps) from people looking for LTRs.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 01:38 AM
2

So, now you’re saying you don’t feel resentment or jealousy? I feel resentment, but I believe jealousy was the wrong word. I believe envy is the correct term. When my female friends talk about their sexual escapades, I don't think "Oh, I wish you wouldn't have done that". I think "I wish I would have been able to experience something similar". It seems you are looking for a very narrow subset of women: someone who wants a relationship but who does not want to settle down. I am looking to play th…
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 01:30 AM
3

Your jealousy is potentially holding you back from dating a large pool of women. If you have resentment, it will impact your judgement and reduce your charisma and likability. And even if you get into a relationship, it will undermine your love and affection for her. Yes and no. I actually have no problem with dating women IF they want a relationship. I am well educated, have a good career, am pretty clean cut etc. and I guess that makes me "relationship material". Problem is the disconnect in g…
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 12:59 AM
10

This is exactly the problem. In the end, I am not mad about other people exploring their sexuality. I am mad about not having been able to explore my own sexuality.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 11:53 PM
1

I felt the exact same way you did when I was younger. As I mentioned I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 19. Though my experiences eventually turns out differently, I was what most people considered a “late bloomer.” Just for context, I had my first kiss in my 30s.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 11:23 PM
1

In what respect have you been in my shoes?
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 11:08 PM
1

Again, I don't care about other people's body count. People can fuck as many people as they want and I won't judge them for it. What makes me jealous is that I was never able to explore in the same way as other people did. It's not that I am disgusted of people with large body counts, it's that I am jealous of them.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 11:03 PM
3

There’s hookups to be had at any age. But it might not be your thing, if you are like many guys. I would have loved to explore. Would have loved to have a stag / hoe phase. It's just not something I ever had access to. And that makes me jealous of the people who did.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 11:00 PM
1

36.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 10:57 PM
1

Of course I am depressed. Because of that very thing. I have felt like I have missed out.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 10:54 PM
3

​ Don’t call a woman “promiscuous” if you wouldn’t label a man the same way I would. I wish I could label myself promiscuous. “Body count” is irrelevant It is relevant for me.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 10:49 PM
3

I just can't get over it.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 10:46 PM
5

I would. I would have loved to have been able to explore my sexuality with different partners. This is why I resent them. They got to experience what I couldn't have.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 10:40 PM
2

What do you mean holding myself back? I am jealous because life held me back.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 10:32 PM
3

You view sex the same way as promiscuous women do so you're in no place to resent them. And yet I am. When I hear people talk about all the experiences they made in their teens and 20s, I cannot stop feeling resentment. Honestly, it has such a negative effect on my mental health that I am considering breaking ties with all my female friends because the topic always inevitably comes up. but it's a sad life to live. That's not your call to make. Emotional intimacy brings a lot more pleasure and ha…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 10:16 PM
1

what might stop that from taking some of the sting out of seeing other people doing something that seems inaccessible? I don't know. But it doesn't.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 09:17 PM
2

Promiscuous people (both men and women) do not experience the intimacy of being in a committed relationship. I'm not looking for this intimacy. They just view sex as a pleasurable physical activity rather than something sacred that can bond two people together. That's how I view sex too. Being promiscuous is a personal choice and I'm not judging people who choose to live that way but I just do not see the appeal in sleeping with several people. It's a personal choice for (most) women. It's not a…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 09:09 PM
-10

Everybody likes sex ; and everyone wants to explore their sexuality it doesn’t make you promiscuous. Absolutely. But I didn't have the opportunity and this makes me jealous of those who did. Have you tried? Have you tried dating apps or such? Yes. Exploring you sexuality is a natural desire. It is easy for women, it is hard for men. This makes me jealous leading to resentment.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 08:59 PM
3

You have to understand that you do not own a women’s past present or future. Again, no problem with women with high body counts. I would have done the same if I was in their shoes.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 08:55 PM
3

Women will almost always have a higher body count outside of religious communities because we can. Men are easy, which means a woman looking to have sex has her pick of one night stands. Men must do a lot more to get someone bedded so the numbers are lower. And this is exactly why I am more jealous of women than I am of men. I consider sexual exploration desirable and women have it easier to reach this goal. That makes me envious. No part of this has anything to do with a person's value. If I cu…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 08:53 PM
10

Understand yes. Address no.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 08:38 PM
11

My male friends weren't really promiscuous. They are in a similar situation as me. But yeah, I am very jealous of guys who can be promiscuous.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 08:37 PM
10

Mainly hobbies, interests, education and work.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 08:20 PM
1

What exactly bothers you about it? It's just something I would have liked to experienced. Simple as that. If that's important to you, then what's the limiter do you think? Age + lack of attractiveness.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 07:59 PM
1

Jealousy always points at a bigger issue. Usually lack of perceived self-worth. Is that the case? If so, it's all about working through the pain and understanding the why. It's more about them being able to make experience which I wish I had made. As an aside, is it possible for you to try out a measure(!) of hedonism today? Or are you saying that the previously "easy to get" ladies view you "only" as "boyfriend-material"? Many of the previously promiscuous ladies now want to settle down. And th…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 07:50 PM
5

Not productive advice. I am feeling that you are shaming me for wanting to be sexually promiscuous.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 07:48 PM
3

It seems to me the way to get over it would be to first recognize it like you’ve already done. Then try to figure out some way that you could manifest in your own life whatever it is that you think these women have. How would you do that? Is it the fun that you think you missed out on? Is it the affection? You can’t actually think that promiscuity leads to a sustainable or desirable life in the long run. If you do think that, you could become a pick up artist, but that doesn’t seem like a worthy…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 07:30 PM
2

Why do you feel more resentment towards women than men when it comes to sexual exploration? Because it seems that women have it easier exploring their sexuality. For example, in another comment here a user was saying that many women are promiscuous because they have low self-esteem. This is impossible for men. A men with low self-esteem will almost certainly become an incel.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 07:25 PM
1

Strictly speaking, you don't have to. Respect them as people and don't treat them any less in the day to day. But there are perfectly reasonable viewpoints based on which any promiscuous individual isn't exactly prime partner material. I am not disgusted by promiscuous individuals. As somebody who would have wished to explore their sexuality and be a little be hedonistic in their 20s, I am jealous. Promiscuity can certainly indicate hedonistic tendencies, emotional volatility and deregulation. A…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 07:00 PM
9

This is called retro-active jealousy ; it depends on what you mean by promiscuous, promiscuous means someone who is constantly letting their underwear down for men and women. Someone who likes sex, is sex positive and was able to explore their sexuality. There’s two main reasons for this jealousy, either you feel you “missed out” or you feel that you might be inadequate. Both. I missed out because I guess I was inadequate. I would have explored my sexuality in my 20s but I never had the opportun…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 06:37 PM
7

This sounds like a classic case of being unhappy with yourself, and you're directing it at others. No judgement, I think we've all done it at some point in some way or another. Yes, absolutely. All jealousy is fundamentally about being unhappy with yourself.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 06:07 PM
2

What I do is I try and turn that jealousy into motivation. It motivates me to do better at school/work or to do other good things. This has worked for me for a very long time. Using the jealousy as motivation to achieve my goals. But now that I am almost 40, my goals seem to lie in the past.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 06:01 PM
10

Very simple: jealousy. It's not "I disagree with the way you lived your life" but instead "You were able to experience what I wanted to experience". IMPORTANT EDIT: someone just informed me of the difference between jealousy and envy. What I feel is ENVY!
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 05:52 PM
1

I gotcha, but my point remains the same. Are these problems innately part of you and can NEVER be fixed, or are they essentially skills that can be refined through practice and talking to more people? I don't know. At least at the current level, with my one or two conversations with random people a day, it hasn't really improved. What has improved is of course the anxiety. But the actual conversational skill has not. For example, just look at people who do public speaking. Those people who seem …
/r/ExRedPill25/06/23 12:53 AM
1

I had women approach me and drop the conversation after a minute. Or ask me if I am autistic. I guess its pretty noticeable.
/r/ExRedPill25/06/23 12:14 AM
1

You misunderstand. I am not nervous or anxious - that was never the problem. My awkwardness comes from other things: misunderstanding situations, misreading body language, being slow-witted or clumsy in conversation, struggling expressing myself in a clear way, making language errors (slips of the tongue, inversion of sentences) etc.
/r/ExRedPill25/06/23 12:13 AM
1

You I right that I never learned social skills. But it wasn't for lack of trying. I always had lots of social exposure and lots of contact to women. Hell, my university classes were 70% female. Most of my nights out with friends looked like this. And when I noticed that my social skills were plateauing or in many cases deteriorating, I started just talking to more people: on the streets, at the supermarket, in the hallway etc. In the last years, I have approach hundreds of women. The problem is …
/r/ExRedPill24/06/23 02:40 PM
1

Well, I have all that down and it obviously isn't enough.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/23 01:05 AM
1

That's true to some extent but being seen as creepy is different from being creepy. For example, many awkward and socially non-adjusted people seem creepy without intending and realizing it. On the other hand, many actually creepy, predatory and manipulative people can seem very socially adjusted, charismatic etc. In consequence, you can have perfectly non-repugnant beliefs and be seen as creepy (true for many guys on the autism spectrum) and you can have terrible beliefs about women and not see…
/r/ExRedPill23/06/23 05:45 PM
1

That's true. These are men who burn through each relationship in a short time and never manage to keep a relationship going long term. But these men are different from incels who already fail when it comes to even getting a relationship.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/23 05:30 PM
0

Looks aren't anything, that's true. And "good looking" was just one example. There are a lot of assholes, narcissists and misogynists who have a high degree of confidence and who can be charming, charismatic and funny. And of course, they will do very well with women at first despite them being assholes. In fact, a charismatic guy with repugnant beliefs will do much better than a timid guy with non-repugnant beliefs.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/23 05:07 PM
2

The reason incels are repelling women is that they are choosing to by having repugnant beliefs and the desire to abuse women. This is inaccurate. Yes, many incels have repugnant beliefs. But it's not that they would suddenly have success if they lost those repugnant beliefs. There are many misogynist men who are very successful with women because they are good looking, charismatic, charming, or funny. It's these green flags which secure dating success, not merely an absence of red flags.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/23 04:54 PM
1

What do you mean?
/r/ExRedPill23/06/23 12:39 PM
1

Lol, wrong link. Fixed now.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/23 12:37 PM
1

Meeting women is not the problem. I meet hundreds each years. I think the throwing off thing is the issue.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/23 12:36 PM
2

Are you using dating apps? I am using dating apps but I don't really get matches. I guess it is a combination of not being attractive enough and my photos not being great. Those are my current pics: https://imgur.com/a/kihSPD7 Are you hitting on women in public? Yes. Are you going to clubs and bars? Yes What are you proactively doing to meet women? I mostly meet women via shared hobbies, activities, classes etc. Are you getting first dates? No. I struggle getting number an dates.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/23 03:31 AM
1

As written elsewhere I am socially awkward, goofy and clumsy.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/23 03:29 AM
3

I would love to find someone who is like me: a bit awkward, average looking, without romantic or sexual experience, with similar interests, with a good education and career. But it is actually very hard to find people like that.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/23 02:27 AM
2

I'm not great when it comes to building muscle. After seven years of consistent workout, my results are pretty subpar.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/23 02:26 AM
3

This is true. But assertiveness as a trait is much more valued in men because it is a feature of traditional masculinity. On the other hand, many men don't put a lot of importance on assertiveness when it comes to what they find attractive in women. In fact, many men don't like women who are too assertive because they think it is unfeminine.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/23 02:25 AM
2

How overweight is too overweight for you? Any kind of overweight tbh. Most of my hobbies are exercise related and I want somebody who is equally active.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 08:36 PM
0

There are both parts of the traditional masculinity which I apparently have to perform but don't want to.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 08:29 PM
3

I've been rejected hundred of times. That's no issue. But I am missing the small successes.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 08:27 PM
3

Would YOU date a woman who's "awkward and bumbling" in the same way you describe yourself? Absolutely. I would not call myself very picky from a looks perspective. One dealbreaker for me is however women being overweight. I take care of my body, exercise a lot and want a partner who is similar in that respect.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 07:35 PM
2

I think they used assertive instead of dominant. I am a very agreeable person. But the gist was: women like men who display confidence and who act secure in social situation and you are bumbly, awkward, and clumsy.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 07:33 PM
3

FA?
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 06:57 PM
1

I actually find this very hard to describe because there have been women with vastly different traits and personalities which I found attractive. For me, this rather seems like a I know it when I see it thing.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 06:37 PM
1

I honestly have no idea what my type is. Isn't this something which you figure out by trial and error?
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 06:10 PM
3

They said I am too awkward, to clumsy, too goofy, not masculine, dominant and assertive enough.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 05:38 PM
3

They promised that they'd do that but it never happened.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 05:31 PM
0

Where are you going? I'm not one for bars or clubs. So I primarily try to meet people via shared activities and hobbies. What are you looking for? Short term relationship with possibility of LTR What about the girls you go for? Since I am missing signs, I go for almost everyone who seems interesting and somewhat attractive. What are they looking for? No idea. Someone more handsome and masculine I guess.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 05:30 PM
3

I actually never really had this fear. Sure, I sometimes judged myself but I never really cared what others thought of me.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 04:57 PM
4

The rest will just happen. I am sorry but it will not. Else, it would have already happened. Just being around is not enough for guys. You need to do the work, you need to approach, say the right things and if you are not perfectly hitting all the spots - if you are a little bit too weird, a little bit too awkward, a little bit too clumsy, a little bit too insecure - you will be rejected.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 04:20 PM
4

I am - in each social situation - shamelessly myself. The problem is that myself is awkward and clumsy so I guess most people don't like myself.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 04:02 PM
1

It's based on nothing but the overall feeling that you get from someone. Surely you can tell when someone is mad at you, respects you, likes or dislikes you, is afraid of you, etc. So surely you can also sense to some degree if a woman is interested or not. Correct. And this is what I meant when I talked about "signs of interest" I was looking for. But you said that for most of the girls you dated, you actually didn't get these signs of interest (i.e. you got either a neutral or negative vibe) a…
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 03:59 PM
3

I mean, I did all of that so I have it down either way. I am well groomed, have a good haircut, I am fit, and have a good job. For me, it just never made a difference.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 03:48 PM
1

Either you just shoot your shot or you don't, based purely on the intuiton of what's going to be the response from the other side. But that intuition must be based on something. When i approach, i don't ask her out right away, i just talk about the average bullshit, who are you, what do you do, crack a few jokes, ask for a number and that's it. I do too. But I never manage to get numbers.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 03:46 PM
2

By "expressing interest", I am not talking about being approached or asked out.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 03:36 PM
2

And what would be wrong with going out and making it happen? There is nothing wrong with going out and making it happen. In fact, you have to do that as a guy. By just focusing on my hobbies and thinking that it just happens, I wasted the prime of life. Rejection will happen, yes. I’ve also been rejected many times. But I’ve also been accepted many times and I am, right now. Rejection is and can be painful, but building a strong self esteem will make you not take them personal. I've been rejecte…
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 03:30 PM
-5

Looks don't really matter. And what matters about looks is mostly genetic such as height and facial structure. Getting a haircut or dressing better has so little effect in the large scale of things that it is negligible
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 03:28 PM
2

I was asking about when to ask somebody out and you are telling me about approaches. When you approach a girl, do you ask her out always and right away. Or based on what do you go from approach to asking out?
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 03:26 PM
4

That’s why we are telling you: approach people. Get into social groups. Don’t take it to heart of someone rejects you: don’t stop meeting people, even planning outings and inviting others out. Don’t wait for people to approach you, start you getting out, joining activities and groups. I would even tell this to a girl who’s trying to meet more people. This is what I have been doing all the time. I always thought: "I just focus on my hobbies, meet people, and it will happen when it happens." But t…
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 03:24 PM
2

Because all of these things don't really matter.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 03:21 PM
5

Sounds strange, but actually stop caring about having a relationship and it will come in its own. Often relationships are a result, not a goal. This was my philosophy during my 20s. Until one day I realized that I am 30 and never even kissed a girl. I would advice also getting out there, meeting people, joining activities that make you meet more people and friends. And from there, potential partners will start coming to you. I don't know if that is true for guys. Usually, you don't get approache…
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 02:47 PM
6

So in this case, you just asked out random people you find interesting / attractive? Or based on what did you decide to ask them out?
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 02:32 PM
4

If you're not talking to 2 or 3 girls at the same time you're not trying hard enough The problem is finding girls to talk to. As in, girl who are open to talk to you. If you're not actively going out and trying to flirt with multiple women, playing the numbers game, you're not trying hard enough If you're not investing on a social circle of different friends with multiple women on it, you're not trying hard enough If you already do these things but don't shoot your shot, making your interest obv…
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 02:25 PM
1

Get out there socially, join a recreational sports team/start volunteering/take a class, and make some friends! Meet women and don't hit on them, just try and make some genuine friendships with them. Men and women aren't all that different, if you find yourself nervous to talk to women, just remember they're probably JUST like you in a lot of ways. Talk to them as you would talk to any other man. Making genuine female friendships can help a lot, and once you feel close enough to talk about your …
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 02:22 PM
5

Exactly. I had people on reddit call me Chadlite but since I never get any positive feedback on my looks IRL, I don't believe them.
/r/AllPillDebate22/06/23 01:13 PM
2

I agree from a moral perspective but I believe that a certain degree of "masculinity" is unfortunately required to have success with women. Even on this very subreddit, people very frequently tend to center confidence as the key trait to have as a man. Not compassion, not empathy, not agreeableness but confidence. And I always wonder to myself: why is not being confident the biggest sin you can commit as a man? Why are we as men not allowed to be insecure now and then? I feel the answer to that …
/r/ExRedPill19/06/23 02:55 PM
0

And this is my point. This questions always ends with the conclusion that the person who is being asked is not good enough. Either they say it themselves. Or if they think they are, their answer will be dissected and scrutinized until they start to second guess themselves.
/r/ExRedPill17/06/23 06:50 PM
-1

For people like OP who never had success with women, the answer will likely be "no", just based on their experience of failure. So this question will kind of inevitably reinforce feelings of not being good enough. But what would you have said if OP hypothetically said "yes"?
/r/ExRedPill17/06/23 06:38 PM
-1

Like really ask yourself, ‘Self, would I even date me?’ I really have no idea what that question is going to accomplish. It's a catch-22.
/r/ExRedPill17/06/23 06:27 PM
–

By attention, I mean any (subtle) sign that someone would be interested in me romantically / sexually. Even if I wouldn't be interested in them myself, it would still be a huge win because it would show that at least some people find me attractive and consider me a possible partner.
/r/ExRedPill04/06/23 12:46 PM
2

Well, it can take years if you just wait on it. But it can take a month or two or even less to get to know someone well enough to ask them on a date But that requires an active part on their side. I.e. the actually are open to converse with you and reveal stuff to you. And that is the issue. Of the last hundred women I approached, none of them seemed particularly open to get to know each other.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/23 11:29 PM
1

It's the other around. For most if my 20s, I though there was nothing wrong with me. In fact, I considered myself very attractive because I also had a vein and arrogant side. And I falsely though that lots of girls were into me. Only over time, the lack of evidence made me start second guessing that mindset.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/23 08:43 PM
2

It's just kind of natural when you see the same people a lot. But that can take years. How many of these women have you asked on dates? Maybe a dozen. No interest.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/23 06:36 PM
1

But these signs are not subtle at all. When I think about subtle signs, I think about a quick single glance across the room. What is described in that reddit post has 100% never happened to me. Hell, the first point in this reddit post is women actively trying to interact with you. How could that be any less obvious.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/23 06:34 PM
1

At the moment, I am primarily interested in gaining romantic and / sexual experience. Not really interested in long-term relationships. But any kind of attention would really be a big plus.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/23 05:37 PM
1

Are you saying you get no interest? Yes. Looking back, I cannot remember a single situation where someone might have been interested. What all have you tried? Besides the typical reddit bro advice (hit them gym, take care of your grooming, get a hair cut, dress better, make more money), I primarily just tried to increase my social exposure. Because for a long time, I thought that I was perfectly fine and nothing was wrong with me. The insecurities only came after lack of success.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/23 05:22 PM
2

I think pursuing women you’re romantically into is more similar to making a new friend than people realize. If that was the case, I would have no problems. In my 20s, I was interacting primarily with women since my university courses were very skewed towards women. And in consequence, nearly all my friends were women. What are your friendships like? Do you have a lot or a few close friends? How do you go about making new friends? Have you practiced making new friends? What would happen if you in…
/r/ExRedPill03/06/23 05:19 PM
1

I don't have social proof though. You had people show that they are very interested in you. That's clearly evidence that you are "good enough".
/r/ExRedPill03/06/23 04:45 PM
3

Not very deep. Because in order to get to know someone on a deeper level, they need to be interested don't they?
/r/ExRedPill03/06/23 04:06 PM
1

Well, first off, how many women do you actually get to know? Getting to know women was never my problem. I live in a large city, have social hobbies and meet a lot of people. Hundreds of women each year.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/23 03:58 PM
2

It really broke me honestly and despite having some really good looking men express lots of interest in me, I still pushed them away because I just couldn't mentally get over those "criticisms". I think this is the main difference between us two. You seem to have some social proof that your insecurities are unfounded. But I am lacking this social proof. I am lacking this validation that - at least for some women - I am good enough.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/23 03:53 PM
3

The thing I cannot really get over is the following: if women like all kinds of things, why has no woman ever expressed interest or liked me? This is the core question for me.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/23 03:51 PM
1

I've worked with a variety of personal trainers over the years. They all said the same: that your ability to build muscle is significantly dependent on your genetics. This is simply what I got and it is obviously not good enough.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/23 01:27 PM
1

I heard people say that lack of experience can be a red flag, especially at my age.
/r/ExRedPill02/06/23 05:35 PM
1

I am actually an example of this. In my mid 20s, I was all into the typical self improvement stuff which is peddled by redpillers and dating gurus: "hit the gym, get a better haircut, get better clothes, further your career, learn to talk to women, act confident, go to therapy etc.". I was very optimistic and motivated because the main message was "yes, the dating world is rough and standards are high but if you work on yourself, you can make it". Now 10 years later, I realize that this is all b…
/r/ExRedPill02/06/23 04:10 PM
2

In this case, we might just disagree about what patriarchal means. And there are certainly different models of patriarchal societies. I am particularly talking about the mainstream Western / Christian* model of patriarchy with it's emphasis on enforced monogamy. I need to check where but I remember some historian arguing that this was basically a form of "sexual socialism" to the detriment of natural female mate choice. *there are of course exceptions here, especially Christian movements which r…
/r/ExRedPill02/06/23 03:57 PM
1

It is of course hard to clearly calculate reproductive success in prehistory. Probably the best way are genetic studies, i.e. comparing the genetic variance of the Y chromosome and mtDNA over time as a proxy of reproductive variance. And here, it has been shown that (like in nonhuman primates but less pronounced) male reproductive variance has always been larger than female reproductive variance. As far as we can extrapolate from current hunter gatherer societies, we also see that most of these …
/r/ExRedPill02/06/23 03:36 PM
1

70% of adults in the US have partners. Another 15% are content being on their own and aren’t interested in dating or romance. That leaves only 15% of the population trying to change their single status. The number of single people is split equally among men and women, so single and searching men make up 7% of the population (this includes people interested in casual dating). Half of these men are under 30 years old, meaning men eventually partner up as they age and become more experienced/confid…
/r/ExRedPill02/06/23 02:39 PM
1

My problem is not that I am fat. It's that I cannot grow a decent amount of muscle. Pics related.
/r/ExRedPill02/06/23 03:23 AM
1

Skinny != in shape. I've been working out religiously for 7 years and I am still far away from being in shape.
/r/ExRedPill01/06/23 09:05 PM
1

İmproving yourself is a general dating advice cause you love yourself,you are creating a garden,and butterflies love it and comin,you are not chasin butterflys.You still have to ask girls btw.The point is there is no guarantee of that type of activites will give you a pertect relationship,or lots or girls etc.If redpill says that,thats complete lie.On the other hand,yes,these are attractive attributes and women could love that. The problem is that improving yourself won't guarantee any kind of f…
/r/ExRedPill01/06/23 08:06 PM
0

Furthermore, simply gaining muscle and making more money won’t do anything in dating without improvement in social skills/capital. Where, how, and why you relate to people are just as important. Yes. And these things are much harder to change, especially if you are on the spectrum. Gaining muscle and making money is easy, becoming neurotypical enough to be attractive is close to impossible. And this is why self-improvement advice is useless. If you have enough social skills already, you don't ne…
/r/ExRedPill01/06/23 06:28 PM
1

Replace "life" by "dating life". For example, going to the gym will make you healthier. And making more money might make you more financially independent. But it won't make a difference in your dating life.
/r/ExRedPill01/06/23 06:04 PM
1

All of this self-improvement bullshit is useless. For example, you need to have great genetics to be in shape and most men who struggle with women don't have these genetics in the first place. Same with money. It is impossible for 99% of men to make enough money that it makes a difference with women.
/r/ExRedPill01/06/23 03:30 PM
1

These two things are connected. They need "docile, unintelligent women" for the improve yourself message to work. Most men are just not good enough, no matter how much they improve themselves. So in order to be able to keep promising the majority of men that there is hope for them, they need a way to manipulate women into choosing these genetically inferior men.
/r/ExRedPill01/06/23 02:07 PM
1

Life is simply not fair and everyone gets trampled on every once in a while (including men ofc). So, the manosphere lures them in the beginning by recognizing their deepest insecurities or troubles (growing up poor, ugly, short, getting rejected a couple of times, never having been competent at anything as compared to other successful men who are a minority btw). A sane person would either accept their flaws and move on or choose to become better at what they CAN infact control. But both of thes…
/r/ExRedPill01/06/23 01:37 PM
3

This! For a few years, the red pill gave me hope that if I work on myself, life would get better. It was a bitter realization that this was not the case.
/r/ExRedPill01/06/23 12:30 PM
4

Youre giving males who follow RP far too much credit. The truth is that society is evolving and they cant keep up. They want to go back to a time when a man could attract a mate simply because he had a house and a job. They feel as though they have no control and RP is their means to take back control but its not working because women en masse have already decided that they want more out of a partner than him having a house and a job. They want to take away womens choice's because ultimately wom…
/r/ExRedPill28/05/23 10:26 PM
0

I don't even agree with the red pill, but this is a terrible take and completely misidentifies the core ideology of the red pill. And if you want to criticize the red pill, it is important to first identify their core beliefs. Else, you will be merely hitting at strawmen. In my understanding, the core ideological claim underlying red pill and black pill ideology is that sexual liberalization has not brought forward more sexual equality but paradoxically more inequality and a strengthening of gen…
/r/ExRedPill28/05/23 07:28 PM
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