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Actual-Bison7862 Archive

View 1 posts and 27 comments by Actual-Bison7862 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
94

Actual-Bison7862/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 05:16 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

... Divorce is not about "fair". If you two can divide what's left equitably.. go for it. But right now it sounds like you are stuck on what's "fair".. and the time you are wasting on those thoughts is giving you less time to either get the divorce started or get and attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 01:08 AM
1

Then ride that out man, I'd say tell her you are ready to be served and to get it done and over with. If you have a plan and she is onboard with it.. get those papers signed before too many emotions get involved.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 07:14 PM
3

For me, I moved ALL communication to written, specifically a co-parenting app. She wasn't a fan, but when they don't have any recordings to clip together and the only thing they can point to is a set of messages that show you are maintaining boundaries and trying to co-parent.. her feelings become null and void. I also started recording the moment I pulled into the driveway, gave me a little extra confidence for what became the eventual police calls and crazy accusations.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 06:18 PM
1

Why do you trust that she doesn't have an attorney and that you will be getting everything you want? What has she done in the last year that would lead you to believe she isn't blowing smoke up your ass? For me personally, she has sat on serving you because "you weren't ready".. what's in those papers that you aren't ready for?
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 05:25 PM
3

Get. A. Lawyer. Stop being nice. Stop giving in to her. She is not your wife anymore. If your best friend violated your trust the way she did, would you still be friends with them? I hope not. For me, especially midway through my divorce I had to categorize all interactions with my ex-wife into either "Husband shit" or "Normal human decency". Every time she asked or implied I should do something that benefited her I thought to myself "Would I do this for a co-worker?" If the answer was no.. it w…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 05:19 PM
15

You will not get justice in divorce. You can get jail time however if you don't button your shit up. So accept it and fight for the things that matter. Does the dog matter? Does it matter $15K? $20K? Those are things you need to decide, what are you willing to become homeless for and what doesn't really matter. Silver bullet tactics are meant to distract you and make you emotional. Figure out what you need to do to turn your emotions off temporarily so that you can keep your eyes on what is impo…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 04:34 AM
6

Your kids are capable of entertaining themselves for a couple hours at a time.. split your chores and studying up throughout the day. Developmentally they need to be able to learn that. Think of it from an employment perspective, if they cannot identify or find things to do and their boss needs to hand feed them each task will they be successful?
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 07:49 PM
5

I read through your replies, you are definitely pompous and kind of a prick. Your first paragraph (minus the style of writing, refer to pompous) was on point but then... you nosed dived. If they have made it to court, it means they did not give up. It means they fought. The majority that come here are ruminating on the effects to their kids and struggling to move forward from day to day. Just because their posts aren't an ode to the negative impacts to their kids does not mean it isn't a theme t…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 09:19 PM
1

Then in my opinion.. prepare for financial ruin in order to maximize your time with your kids. Don't let her, a mediator, or her attorney dangle the fruit of a quick divorce in exchange for being destitute or not getting to spend time with your kids. This is one of those times where you need to compartmentalize emotions from decisions. What is good in the short term will not allow you to raise your children in the long term. If you are destitute you won't be able to afford a domicile that is hea…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 12:00 AM
9

I'm happy you found a man that made the choice that he did, but a mother hiding something like this is absolutely disgusting, should be criminal, and while I have sympathy for a kid in this situation the man should still be allowed to make the decision to be a father or not once it is found out the child is not theirs biologically. In my opinion, if the needs of the child come first, why are we leaving children with mothers that practice this kind of deception? Shouldn't hiding who a child's bio…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 05:22 AM
1

Fast forward 30 years. Will you be able to look your son in the eye and tell him to do what you are about to try? Me personally, I wrestled with this for five years and eventually I realized I couldn't tell my daughter's to do what I was doing. But the reality is that by doing it I was telling them to do it every single day I stayed with her. I'd rather them have an amazing father not with their mother then a barely functioning father that stayed with their mother.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 02:42 AM
2

Start with categories.. indoor activity or outdoor activity. Then active or sedentary. Then just keep whiddling it down. Example: Indoor Sedentary Non-competitive Based on the above: Join a group that collects something (cards, trains, stamps, etc) Movie & popcorn at the theater, could take it a step further and write a review of the movie afterwards and post it. Find a class teaching a skill you don't have (Tech colleges or Junior Colleges are good for this, also community services will have se…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 12:30 AM
1

Why is doing it alone humiliating? So, let me explain why I ask that.. I am 39 years old and I have been golfing for roughly 4-5 years. I suck. Like if you tracked the path I walked on the course you could use it as a diagram to make a high quality zipper. But you know what? It gets me out of the house and neither of my children really enjoy it so it's something that is just mine. Sure it's embarrassing when I miss the ball off the tee for the second time in a row (hadn't happened for like three…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 12:15 AM
1

Damn man, that's a shit situation. I'm glad your good now. From what I've seen with my ex-wife she has created a narrative that is horrendous and shared it with countless people. By doing that she has created an echo chamber where everyone around her just tells her she is in the right for doing whatever bullshit she decides to do. It's like a small detachment of "white knights". It would be funny if it hadn't almost resulted in me losing access to my kids and going to jail.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 03:09 PM
1

My newly ex-wife called the cops on me twice, called my work to tell them how abusive she thought I was, hell, she even called my mom to tell her all about it. We were married 15 years. Thankfully, I was just smart enough to keep my calm and refuse to play into most of her games. Treat the divorce like a business transaction. That might help you take your emotions out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 02:40 AM
1

Yes. She can lie. No one will hold her accountable. It sucks. Until there is an order or an agreement about the dogs or the house she can pretty much do whatever she wants. Pick an attorney, and move forward. Every reasonable human will read what you posted and absolutely agree with you. But you know how much that matters? Not even a little bit. I know everything I just said is blunt and probably rude, but I had to fight against a three month head start because I did what you are doing now. Don'…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 10:14 PM
1

Time may matter quite a bit. I would suggest you seriously consider taking on some debt to get an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 04:03 PM
1

Does trying involve an attorney or just convincing her? If it's not the attorney.. go get an attorney. I had to turn my emotions off for the final six months of my divorce so that I could get myself in the right frame of mind. If you aren't able to see the kids she isn't being civil. Verbally sure.. actions though.. not even in the slightest.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 05:21 AM
2

Your feelings aren't wrong.. what you do with them is what will make or break you during this divorce. Figure out what matters and get ready to fight for it. She is not your wife any more. Repeat it over and over. Her attorneys will ask for the moon, yours need to bring them to reality. You may not have been perfect, that doesn't mean she was either. Take accountability for your stuff but be honest with yourself about hers. It will help you in mediation and court. Remember this: If I am homeless…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 05:13 AM
0

Why does it matter? Your kid just looked for it twice, once with you and once with her (virtually), if she keeps hounding the kid she will damage her relationship with them and make yours better with the kid. The part about her ending the conversation when you got home could be irritating.. but.. in the end it comes down to where you want to spend your energy. The reality is until you hear her talking poorly of you, can record it, AND you have money for the attorney you have nothing you can do, …
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 10:56 PM
2

I like to think the universe just is. It's the people in it that change your environment and thankfully... for the most part you choose who enters or stays in your environment. As to your life.. your life only unravels if you let it. Set yourself up now so that no matter what you decide in a year you and your family are okay financially, spiritually, and mentally. You don't have to hide assets to pay off some debt, volunteer for a cause you care about, start a new hobby (I chase golf balls in a …
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 03:54 PM
11

Yeah.. my immediate thought was "This is better then the birth of our children?"
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 12:40 PM
3

Honestly, you will never get an answer to that because she will never know the real answer. If one of your kids were in your situation would you want them to stay married? I'll say this, if both of you aren't putting in 100% to fix the marriage in my experience... Your kicking the can of divorce down the road.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 12:38 PM
5

Thank you. I was no where near perfect, I had my reactive moments, but I kept telling myself "If I'm homeless I can't raise my kids". I held on to that statement like it was a life raft. An old friend told me years ago "Today's poor reaction will be tomorrows problems". Especially during this process, I've tried to keep that quote in my head when I was having trouble controlling my emotions.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 12:33 PM
9

It was hard for me honestly. One of the things I did was to just stop myself from excusing her actions. Stop telling myself "We are both going through a hard time, she is just trying to navigate this". I tried to replace it with "She's an adult that has done and is continuing to do terrible shit". For whatever reason that seemed to help me place her into the "Not wife" category.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 11:25 AM
1

I understand what you are trying to say.. but your example doesn't illustrate that. Wars and even battles within wars have books written about them. Wounded Knee being a battle that has many books written about it. I'm not saying folks should be screaming it from the roof tops (especially if kids are involved) but.. I also don't see a point in hiding the destruction that was caused.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 09:21 PM
1

I get your viewpoint, but it's obvious you don't know what it's like being on the receiving end of a manic episode. To the person doing the abuse, it's justified in the moment, sure you may have to live with guilt later, but you don't receive the intense swing of emotions being aimed at you. The feeling of one day thinking you have the best possible marriage.. and the next your other half explaining in excruciating detail what a complete piece of shit you are. This happens for hours, days, weeks…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 02:38 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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