Going through a nasty divorce

Longshot-Kapow · 2026-07-10T11:38:35+00:00

That feeling goes away once you move on and start with other women. I assume your wife was a saty-at-home....thise are the ones that give you headache upon divorce. Any woman with her career and her salary, that has her things together will not give you much trouble during a divorce. You will be dragged over hot coals until your kids are big enough. And the worse the divorce,.the more you will reaent her, with resentment will come contempt, disgust and then aversion. You will not care who she is with, in fact you will want her toget a nasty STD and die.

Candidate_Worldly · 2026-07-09T14:02:20+00:00

You blame yourself now.

Unless you were abusive, cheating or an addict, in a year or two you will gain clarity and realise it wasn't all one sided.

That's when the healing starts.

PumpkinSufficient989 · 2026-07-09T11:55:53+00:00

It sounds like you're at "anger" or "denial" stage of processing your grief. You need to get to "acceptance", even though you think you've accepted - you haven't.

Typically, when a woman pulls the trigger like this, the time to work on fixing things has already passed. Yes, it always catches us men by surprise, and it's hard to accept, but we have to do it to move forward.

Who she decides to be with now should not borher you. She has weighed her options, you were on one side of the scale and her other option(s) were on the other... and she didn't choose you. Usually, there's someone else already present in the picture when a woman leaves.

You sound like you're a good man, working his ass off to provide for the family. This is what men do. It takes two people to destroy a marriage. There are plenty of families where the husband is on the road for days or weeks (truck drivers), and his wife is at home fully supporting him, understanding and appreciating what the man is doing for the family. Now if that wife decides to become critical instead, you know where this marriage is going. There's nothing you can do. Can't reason with her. Can't change careers easily. This is life.

the_last_0ne · 2026-07-09T07:14:27+00:00

Hey man: I am also in the early stages of a veey messy divorce.

My wife was abusing me for years and I didn't even register it. She blamed me for everything and I just thought I must be a piece of shit. .

The divorce isnt only your fault. Whatever happened happened to both of you during the marriage. Even in the eyes of the law it was mutual.

You deserve better than her. Who cares if she is seeing someone,: you can too.

Recent_Impress_3618 · 2026-07-09T05:43:39+00:00

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Men go to prison and their wives are waiting on them when they get out.

My wife blames me for everything. She’s wrong.

_NeXXeR_ · 2026-07-09T05:23:04+00:00

From personal experience. Feeling some sort of envy to the possibility of her being with someone else is totally natural. Don't be hard on yourself, it will pass. I would say that if she has made a decision, focus on ending the marriage we'll and maintaining a good relationship for the kids. They don't need to suffer from this more than they already willz but on the upside..a happy parent makes a happier kid. Good luck and keep your head up.

Actual-Bison7862 · 2026-07-09T05:13:54+00:00

Your feelings aren't wrong.. what you do with them is what will make or break you during this divorce. Figure out what matters and get ready to fight for it.

She is not your wife any more. Repeat it over and over. Her attorneys will ask for the moon, yours need to bring them to reality. You may not have been perfect, that doesn't mean she was either. Take accountability for your stuff but be honest with yourself about hers. It will help you in mediation and court.

Remember this:

If I am homeless I cannot be the father I need to be. She may be entitled to a portion but she is not entitled to all.
And.. it is better to not react then it is to be arrested. Scream all you want driving to work, but do not for the love of all that is holy do it at home, around your kids, or within earshot of her.

Title	Going through a nasty divorce
Author	R3aper_453
Upvotes	7
Comments	14
Date	July 9, 2026 5:00 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1urggeh/going_through_a_nasty_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/going-through-a-nasty-divorce.1584592 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584592

Comments