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AdequatelyfunBoi2 Archive

View 4 posts and 83 comments by AdequatelyfunBoi2 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I always told myself I would try once. If that didn’t work out, then I know the contract simply does not matter.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 02:13 AM
6

Unless you’ve passed the bar yourself, go find representation immediately. You are going to end up penniless and broken.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 07:36 PM
2

Well, it depends on whether you’re both going to be working on repairing what was broken. If only one person is making the effort, it’s doomed no matter how much growth you’ve achieved.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 01:44 PM
2

You need to limit your communication with her or you will never be able to truly move on. It sounds as if she initiated the divorce, and I’m so sorry that she was the only one who wanted it. My story is largely the same but I’ve luckily been able to see who my ex truly is and she’s a repugnant, repulsive, greedy, narcissistic, lying, sex pest and a winter pig. Seriously, she has not a single redeeming quality about her. I hope you find something about your ex that is simply detestable so that yo…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 10:47 PM
1

Any time someone swears up and down they didn’t do anything wrong, chances are that they absolutely did do something wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 06:13 AM
3

It was 90% her fault, 5% my fault and 5% her fault some more. She’s undiagnosed BPD and if you have no idea what that is or how people behave who have it, I truly envy you. Long story short, halfway through her pregnancy she started acting like a completely different person than the one I fell in love with and made a lifelong commitment to. She became profoundly selfish, with absolutely zero remorse and was suddenly immune to accountability. She started staying out all night without communicatin…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 11:23 AM
6

I think you might want to reframe your thoughts on where people should be in their lives and perhaps consider that success means something entirely different to them. Some people don’t need or want to keep up with the Jones’, white picket fence and all that. You could be missing out on someone very special that really makes you think in an entirely new way. Food for thought.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 03:34 AM
1

Best interest of a child’s mother.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 07:12 PM
2

My thoughts are tough shit. She should learn to live within her means.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 07:10 PM
1

You’ve got the right idea about this and are being proactive about your blind spots. Kudos to you. Remember to give yourself some grace in times where you’re maybe feeling overwhelmed. It’s okay cry, it’s okay to ask for support from those you can trust. Remember, this is the hardest life transition most have to endure. And for the love of god, please don’t compare yourself to her or anyone you know who’s currently or been in the same situation. Comparison is the thief of joy.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 02:42 PM
4

Your wife is now your enemy. Don’t think back on the good times or about the woman you fell in love with. You must treat this as your opponent. You can still go into this looking for a fair resolution. But as soon as she goes low, answer by going lower. Make her regret crossing you. Give her a reason to feel like a victim. Still, never say anything negative about her while the kids are around and never undermine her either. I’m happy for you, brother. Take some time to figure out who you are now…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 02:33 PM
6

This dynamic only serves to harm you, my guy. Stop playing on demand therapist, set some firm and ridged boundaries and start prioritizing yourself. You deserve better and she lost the right to your advice and your time.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 12:51 PM
1

Your son is old enough to make his own decisions and he’s decided that a mother who puts herself first is not someone that he wants to continue having a relationship with. She only has herself to blame.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 12:54 AM
2

My ex wife poisoned my support system against me. My most of all has said time and again she will remain “neutral” yet, every time she speaks to my ex wife she laps up whatever bullshit she’s accused me of this most recent time, or blamed me for things that happened due to my ex overstepping boundaries like going through my for lack of a better term diaper bag without the diapers. So like, first aid kit, Vaseline for his eczema, hand warmers, juice box straws, alcohol wipes, just practical thing…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 03:17 AM
2

Jesus, this is a perfect description of the selfishness that has seemingly become acceptable and even praised behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 12:04 AM
8

Never. Being a party to cheating is almost the same as cheating. I will always remember how it’s felt, and I am not willing to wreck anyone’s home. It may not stop her but, I won’t have to live with that on my conscience.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 09:37 PM
3

Fuck that dude, she doesn’t get to keep you around incase her fantasy man doesn’t materialize. You deserve better.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 02:35 AM
2

1/3 of the American populace has admitted to some type of physical infidelity during a monogamous relationship at some point in their life. In reality, and when factoring in non physical infidelity, I bet you that number is at least 50%, if not higher. Some estimates suggest as much as 70%. Congratulations though, you are shining beacon of good virtue we should all strive to be. I think you may have tricked yourself into believing that this is a black and white issue and concept. That factors an…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 01:57 PM
4

A contract isn’t required to love and honor one’s partner or partners. It sure is an expensive contract to break. The tax break is hardly worth it too. It’s an institution that was built on ownership more or less. I think we’re all beyond that now.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 10:24 PM
3

Cheating isn’t a woman vs. man thing, it’s a human thing. And if the data tells us anything, it’s that we, as people, were never meant to be monogamous. We’re fucking awful at it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 07:38 PM
8

That loss of self and the feeling worthless, ugly and unworthy that has permeated our whole being. The nightmares, the gaslighting, the fucking reality that it was never real, at any point. The entire thing, a lie.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 01:19 PM
4

I’ll let you know when or if I ever do.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 07:08 PM
1

Brother, I’m almost 3 years divorced and this spring/summer was the first opportunity I’ve had to grieve and process. Did EMDR which ended up being a double edged sword. It gave me some uncomfortable truths about my ex and has caused me great.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 09:40 PM
3

You aren’t going to be the guy to make her up and renounce her entire familial culture and identity. I’m sure you’re a decent guy and all but, if not a smidge delusional. She’s told you what she can offer and what she can’t or won’t, doesn’t really matter. You have to decide if you can live with that or if cohabitation is your line in the sand. For what it’s worth, maybe challenging western society standards could do you some good. Cohabitation comes with a fuck ton of baggage and discovering yo…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 07:54 PM
7

She was willing to stick it out, out of convenience. Fuck her, you deserve someone who loves you and shows you that. Press forward, don’t flinch, and don’t settle. You got this, and you’ll always find support here.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 10:06 PM
12

She’s no longer your wife, she’s your enemy. Act accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/25 01:27 PM
5

Not so much anything anyone has actually told me but, rather what I told myself. “You’ve got a ton of wreckage, your ability to actually, honestly trust another woman is not at all realistic. So that leaves emotionless hookups. Nah, I’m good”
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 12:13 PM
3

Yeah, I have all but given up trying to reason with her humanity, because she has none. Paper trails will ultimately be the decider.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 02:43 PM
3

Okay, that actually sounds pretty reasonable. And I can at least respect that she is not rubbing it in and flaunting her new interest in front of you. My ex moved in with a new boyfriend two months into our separation. We wouldn’t be officially divorced for another 9 months.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 02:42 PM
3

Damn, she didn’t waste any time. Glad to know she was in until the bitter end.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 02:11 PM
6

No, the woman who divorced me is a borderline, insecure, petulant child. She touts herself as the best mom on the planet™️ but is the walking, talking stereotype of the worst single mom in recorded history. Attempts to punish me by limiting time with my son and I bet she doesn’t realize that she’s only punishing her son. She’ll fuck anyone who gives her a compliment.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 02:09 PM
4

In the end, that 20 pound difference isn’t going to change her complete lack of empathy or her utter selfishness.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 01:17 AM
2

I’m having a hard time buying a 2 year old being traumatized by a separation by his bio parents. He has zero concept of what that relationship means.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 01:56 PM
5

If she doesn’t understand that she is a silver medal, she will never be able to accept the reality that you are a father. Our children come first and foremost. Not just on your weekends either. What happens when you’re ready for custody? If she can’t deal with two weekends, what if you eventually move to 50/50 or close to that?
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 01:50 PM
5

I just recently discovered many instances of infidelity that my ex wife had participated in towards the end of our marriage (at least, I hope it was just the end but who actually knows). She also refuses to give me the closure I deserve after nearly four years of her gaslighting me to no end and the eighteen month character assassination tour she went on which claimed even my immediate family. I went through the hardest of all life transitions completely alone. I have never felt so completely is…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 08:51 AM
4

I’ll let you know when I accomplish that.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 07:02 AM
7

I bet she’d like to keep lawyers out of it lol. That’s what mine said as well, as she secretly retained one without my knowledge or to give me any kind of heads up. I’m literally starting over from nothing because that’s what I had left. Please protect yourself and remember, you are no longer dealing with the woman you married, rid yourself of any sentimental notions or memories. She is now your opponent, and she does not have your best interests at heart, so make sure that you go for the throat…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 10:15 PM
1

To be clear, the ones I knew were alone in this transition were the ones that received my words of experience and an ear to vent or grieve. Ones who had support I maybe told to piss up a rope. Altruism is still something I cannot reasonably claim.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 07:31 PM
1

I’m turning 38 on the 14th but my divorce proceedings began all the way back in 2022. I’m still devastated over the loss and mostly the betrayal and how I’ve been robbed of time with my son. I am, however, relieved that I didn’t stick it out for him, and still have some prime years of my life ahead of me, and if not for a shoulder needing replaced, I would have moved out of this phase sooner. Such is life and how things worked out. Any of my friends who have asked about it I’ve told them the sam…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 12:37 AM
8

I lost two families. Hers and then my own after she assassinated my character. I went through one of, if not the most difficult transition one can experience in life, and I had nobody. I still haven’t shaken the feeling of isolation, and my trust in women is non existent. I have very little faith that the trust will ever be fully restored. Vulnerability is a necessity for a good, functional relationship. Vulnerability is also what will be exploited if the relationship goes south. I can’t lose ev…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 12:30 AM
2

Yeah, my ex went on a character assassination tour for about a year before we separated and ultimately divorced. Took her all of two months to shack up with the next dude. The part that bothers me most is, her family had gotten to know me so well, and they didn’t even question the authenticity of the outlandish story they had been told. Worse yet, she worked on my immediate family and convinced them what was best for our son was to be neutral. So, I lost my wife and best friend, my rights as a f…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 10:20 PM
1

Sometimes leaving is the best thing you could possibly do for them.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 07:46 AM
2

Mine took me to the cleaner. Destroyed me financially, and took all our shared purchases to boot. My thinking going into the divorce was that if we both came out okay financially then our son would thrive. She shacked up with a new boyfriend two months into our separation (over a year before legally divorced) out of desperation and financial insecurity would be my assumption. Now I have the indignation of having to see some other mother fucker on my couch, watching my tv knowing he’s sleeping in…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 08:22 PM
2

I feel limiting access to a child’s bio father, especially ones that want to play a major part in their lives is acting in a manner which does not benefit the kids. It’s wild watching this distorted thinking play out in real time, as if anything is to be gained by anyone. Truly puzzling.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 11:46 PM
2

I try my best not to disparage single mothers because I know there are many who don’t have either a good coparent or are completely on their own, and I have nothing but respect for those. But ones like ours are a special kind of cruel. I don’t understand what drives this these women to act purely out of spite, even at the detriment of the very child they say they are protecting. Mine has also done this thing where any of his appointments be they academic or medical, I’m not informed or notified …
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 04:21 AM
3

My ex is the custodial parent in the eyes of the State. My son’s heart breaks every time I have to drop him off. Keep in mind, this isn’t the normal 4 year old fit or statement that’s way overboard “I don’t care about mom” shit like that. No, he said he just wants more time. That why isn’t he allowed to see me as much as her? I keep telling him that in due time, he’ll have the best of both worlds and he’ll spend equal amounts of time with each of us. It’s crushing to break down in the car immedi…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 03:35 AM
0

I would imagine those 20 years olds storming into machine gun fire in 1944 were doing so that their families and future generations could have the opportunity to make choices that were best for the individual. Honestly though, there was probably oil and opiates involved too. A lot of our wars involve oil and opiates.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 03:56 AM
0

Of course, and I support whatever path or choice people make, as long as they are being true to themselves and their partner. What I believe is most important is to be honest, understand and know what your personal limitations are, what you can bring to the partnership and always be authentic. I think the best part is, we all get the choice, which unfortunately is not true for everyone around the world. There’s no reason to holster that choice. Again, I’m not advocating for leaving over folding …
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 12:11 AM
0

Yep, and it’s correct. Nobody is owed anything. Marriage is a contract and people can renegotiate or terminate at anytime for whatever reason. I don’t place much stock on the “sanctity of marriage” in 2024. I understand how statistics work. US divorce rate for 2023 was 39%. Lowest it’s been in decades, so that’s great. At the end of the day, your views on the institution aren’t mine. I have one shot at this thing, life, being unhappy isn’t something I’m willing to be for anyone. Which means I’m …
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 11:39 PM
1

Interesting that you would suggest that I grow up by looking at my comment and assuming I was talking about a pet peeve or minor inconvenience. Arguments are a natural part of any relationship, even coming to accept some bad habits or odd personality quirks. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about growing with someone and our ideals and values diverting from a similar path, not recognizing the person you married or committed to anymore. Are you familiar with nuance? I find it very h…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 09:39 PM
2

I’ve learned that happiness from a relationship cannot supplement any lack of self worth. Until I’m perfectly happy and content on my own, I’m not going to get it by adding someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 06:54 PM
2

People are always evolving. Our values ten years ago may be completely different than today. In marriage, sometimes two people values and beliefs don’t grow, morph or change in the same direction. This is a fundamental truth. If those two people’s ideals have become too different to mesh, then perhaps the relationship has run its course. There’s no shame in this, it’s part of the human condition. That’s why I’ve reconsidered the contract. Makes it too hard and expensive to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 06:09 PM
2

This is a hard truth many aren’t ready to accept. Nobody is obligated to be unhappy for my benefit. As such, I’m not willing to be unhappy for anyone else. That’s what I call equity. It’s fair, it’s unbiased and it’s always true. No matter what.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 06:05 PM
-5

Disagree. There’s no poor reason to leave a marriage. Nobody should feel obligated to stay if they are unhappy for whatever reason. Man or woman, it’s irrelevant. I’ll never question someone who isn’t willing to suffer for someone else. As I’m never going to do that either.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 06:01 PM
1

I appreciate you saying that. It’s easy to focus on the wrong things some times and just hearing that I’m doing even okay, man. Motivation to move forward as I am, and hopefully a little better than I was yesterday. Congratulations on your awakening and recovery. After divorce I fully understand why people stay in toxic relationships, as meeting the world head on, truly alone, is daunting at times. Neutrality really is bliss, and it seems you’ve found yourself in a comfortable space. I wish you …
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 05:58 PM
9

I was having a conversation with a roommate last night and he asked me how I do this so calmly. My ex was vindictive, greedy and acted without remorse during our divorce. I would be justified in meeting that vitriol equally and harshly but what do I personally gain from any of that? Ultimately, I gain some responsibility in some of my son’s trauma from his dad not being able to place him before his dad’s own ego. She was also single all of 3 months before moving in with the next “love of her lif…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 05:51 PM
11

I’ve found that logic and most ex wives don’t regularly commingle.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 05:02 AM
13

Because women’s “healing journey” actually just consists of a very active tinder account, a busy waxing solan and probably a Costco size box of plan B.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 09:16 AM
5

I’m really enjoying being single to my surprise. I’m not at all interested in dating or being in even a FWB situation presently. The only person I answer to is my Son (he’s 3) and most of his questions revolve around the speed in which we reach any destination, how many of a thing this is, and where different family members are at this specific moment.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 07:34 PM
1

Anyone going to ask the question about if OPs wife is actually staying at her parents? I believe the kid is, doubt the wife is.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 01:05 AM
3

6 months? I’m not sure the ink is even dry yet. If it makes you feel any better, my ex was already living with her new boyfriend before our divorce was even finalized. Luckily for me, I get along great with my ex nowadays, and her new partner is very respectful of my being my son’s father and doesn’t overstep his role in his life.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 01:25 AM
15

Never again will I commingle finances and even with shared purchases have a clear understanding of how they will be split in the case of the relationship ending. Is this romantic? Probably not. Is it pragmatic? Sure is.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 10:47 PM
7

Please, please, please contact an attorney. Physical abuse is never okay. God speed, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 05:39 PM
7

Get an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 09:52 AM
2

Just depends on the attorney
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 09:11 PM
1

Time to go radio silent until you have representation. Don’t answer phone calls, texts or emails. This is now your attorney’s job. Good luck, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 01:02 AM
1

File now. You’re still in the prime of your life, you’re needs MATTER. She can’t fulfill them. Your kids will still have a normal life, because divorce rates are over 50%. Start thinking about your future.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 08:38 PM
6

This is exactly what my stbxw did to me. Since we’ve been separated I’ve been able to take inventory of our entire relationship, and unfortunately, it was only really good for about 4/5 of the 12 years we were together. Please, please get out. You deserve so much better than this and while the initial split will hurt, the self respect and confidence you will gain in the long-term is priceless. We only have one go around on this world (to the best of my knowledge) and it wasn’t meant to be someon…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 12:36 PM
1

I’m so stoked for you man, that sounds like an absolute nightmare. My ex has been doing touchdown dances the last ten months so when we go to mediation in a couple of weeks I’m sure her an her attorney are going to be livid that I’ll have proof we cashed out my 401k during Covid and now I’m entitled to half the value of hers.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 06:44 AM
2

She’s definitely the top student at ITT tech. Coming to divorced men’s sub looking for guys with money, lolz.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 01:02 PM
2

You think any of us have any money left? Loooooooool
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 01:01 PM
1

For me, I’m dedicating my left arm to one of my biggest passions in life. Hockey. More specifically, hockey history from where I was born, raised and currently live, Seattle. My right arm will be my ode to video games, my single favorite leisure activity and how I spend my time after work/domestic duties. Both of these will then connect to my chest piece (a very detailed heart with the veins and blood vessels spelling out my son’s name).
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 03:00 PM
4

I just divorced one. I’m good for now lol
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 01:17 AM
11

Mine had half a dozen rebounds and then moved in with her new boyfriend within six months of us separating. Divorce will be finalized in August.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 03:03 AM
1

Grief isn’t linear. You may be in acceptance right now, you could be back in bargaining tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 02:42 AM
3

It’s been incredibly difficult to witness how entitled and selfish she has become. A completely different woman than the one I married. I’ve been attempting to play nice this entire process and I’m now to the point where I realize that does me absolutely no good. However, I’m resolute in remaining cordial for the sake of my son. I watched my folks go through a terrible divorce full of them slinging mud at one another to myself and younger sister and refuse to put my boy through that. If he’s as …
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 02:24 AM
5

This. 100%.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/23 01:20 PM
1

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message. I’m in the process of getting back into recovery and understand what shame and guilt feel like. Take solace in the fact you’re taking responsibility for your actions and aren’t trying to make any justifications. Whoever that person was last night is more than likely not your authentic self. Again, feel free to message if you need support.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/23 01:19 PM
1

Depends on the State. Some states are “no fault states” so an affair won’t be considered in spousal support or child support.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 03:11 AM
1

I’ve got an attorney… all parties are wanting to move to mediation and an amicable split. I understand the trepidation but I’m not unprotected or acting out of blind faith.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 02:16 AM
1

We had a great conversation this morning for a couple hours and really talked about each others vision for the future. Neither of us will tolerate anyone else trying to replace either of us as our child’s parent. Any future partner can assist, mentor but decision making comes down to us. We’re going pretty close to 50/50 custody (she’ll have more time for now, until I can move closer, and I’m okay with that). We’re very respectful and understand we are here to set in motion our son’s future and …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 12:48 AM
1

I’d prefer to not view her in that light (no doubt I did a month ago) but I think she’s just trying to put me in the past and feel a certain way again. I’m not winning any husband of the year awards, and have my fair share of blame in the marriage dissolving. I do truly want her to find what she’s looking for, I don’t think the first guy is probably going to be the one, but I’ll always support her and care about her. And she is an incredible mother.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 12:42 AM
2

I’m incredibly left brained, and did some research/reading. I give it 3 months tops. I’m in no rush to date. I just want to work on me and be the best dad possible to my little boy.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 12:36 AM
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