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AggieDan1996 Archive

View 0 posts and 53 comments by AggieDan1996 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

It is my firm belief that anything can be fixed. But, you have to both find the right reasons. You also have to both get into a mindset of moving forward. Forgive and forget.... Of course, you'll never really forget. But, holding a grudge and such is just going to get you right back here. Up until the day the divorce happened I'd have taken her back. Once that divorce was final, I took off my ring. I've since remarried. She's since divorced again. And she's been a royal pain in the ass. So, at t…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 04:24 AM
10

It sounds like you're in pretty much the same place that I was after my divorce. I wanted a connection because sex without it was more of a reminder (after the fact) that there was still this huge emotional hole. Never was an issue leading up to, or in the moment, but post-nut clarity was not my favorite phase for damned sure. Sounds like you need a bit of therapy to really process the loss and get to a point where you're more able to hold out for a more solid relationship that won't leave you f…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:27 AM
7

I often see that folks (men and women) fall into a "I'm never getting married again" or "I don't need the courts getting involved in my relationship again" kind of attitude. Then there's the ones that got married straight out of high school and never had a ho phase. So, they embark on one, now that they're "finally free." Recently separated/divorced folks are gonna have sex. And now that there's no guilt (or they're getting back at an unfaithful stbx) they'll sleep with others more readily. Is t…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 02:32 PM
12

Don't be ugly. Own stuff (car, house, investments). Hit the gym. Essentially, be a catch/upgrade. Your ex threw away a winner because they were stupid. If you're a lateral move or downgrade from her last guy, you're not worth her time.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 02:25 PM
8

One thing that I found... You feel kind of discarded and thrown away. You're a good person that was treated as though they were trash. Guess what. It happens to women, too. Is there gonna be baggage? Sure. But, look for those that have your same kind of baggage... and/or same level. My new wife is a divorcee with two kids just like me. Her previous husband stepped out with a coworker who he has now married. Did we both have trust issues? You fucking bet we did. But, we have GPS tracking through …
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 07:05 PM
2

You're sad about it now. But, that will definitely fade. Eventually you'll be able to just laugh at her. And you'll KNOW that she'll realize the fucked up. As for the kids... Yeah, that's the crappy part. The best we can do is to make their time with us as happy as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 08:09 PM
11

Here's the thing to keep in mind... She can sleep with tons of guys. But, she can't keep them. Single moms are a dime a dozen. So instead of thinking about how great she has it, think about the fact that it's very unlikely she'll marry any of them. After a while the offers will dry up and/or the quality of guy who is interested will suffer. You, on the other hand? Good job? House? Involved with kids? You can be an asshole and run through all the single moms (which I don't recommend) or date with…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 06:45 PM
14

She doesn't want to talk because she's convinced herself that you're a bad guy. It's how she justified to herself and everyone else why she's doing these things. Talking to you risks breaking that narrative. She's gone, bro. Don't be nice. Get a lawyer. File the petition. Work with the courts to get her in contact and let you establish your parental rights to custody. It's a contact negotiation at this point. Feelings for her have nothing to do with it now. She fucked that up. Do it fast before …
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 02:59 PM
12

Whoa! Stop right there, buddy. Stop bearing yourself up. That's what she wants you to do. She wants to make you feel guilty for every little thing she can so you roll over and give her everything because she's trying to convince you that you're a monster and you owe her. Fuck. That. Shit. She's convincing everyone that she just HAD to divorce you. That she's the ultimate victim. Don't let her convince you as well. She's choosing to leave. It's time for negotiations on a new contract. Don't let y…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 04:06 AM
7

Form 8332 is your friend. Get that and file it with the IRS. She'll be unable to claim both of them afterwards. It's should be stipulated in your divorce decree if your lawyer was with a damn.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 03:33 AM
3

Why go on a date with someone that you already can't see yourself with long term? That's just wasting time for both of you. I'm of the (somewhat unpopular opinion) that purposeful dating (dating for marriage) is the best thing for folks whatever their particular type of singledom is based on.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 03:30 AM
2

Why are you using dates like that in order to "get to know" someone? You should get to know them and then start dating. The big expensive wining and dining dates should be the reward for making it past the "get to know you" stage. Even at that, I split costs with the women I dated. Case in point, first woman was a relationship I stumbled into by accident. She wasn't local. So, she'd fly here and I'd pay all the costs here. When I flew there, she paid. The second woman became my current wife. The…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 07:51 PM
21

Hell, women are generally easy to date for whatever you're looking for once you're established financially, or shown that you have the talents and drive to reestablish yourself after divorce. A house, paid off car, and zero debt become more important than visible abs, though those don't hurt. My recommendation is to skip the easy ones. They're just looking to hook you. They're not worth your time or your peace.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 05:37 AM
2

Not gonna tell you that's not good enough if that's what you want. Lord knows I get excited about hamburger helper from time to time. I can remember one time, not Valentine's Day, early on in the separation where I went to a restaurant, sat at the bar and ordered this wonderful chicken and biscuits dinner as a treat to myself and fuck anyone being all judgemental.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 01:39 AM
13

I'm remarried, and we each have two kids with custody this weekend. So, I'll be most decidedly not alone. Far from it. Thin walls, 6 of us in a 1700 sq ft house. Wife and I will not be celebrating very loudly in bed. But, my ex-wife initiated the divorce a little more than 7 years ago. So, I know how much it can suck. But, why settle for just Mac and cheese? This, of all days, should be a fucking self care dinner. Order a meal to go from a nice restaurant. Nice, juicy steak if that's your thing.…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 07:00 PM
1

News flash! Women are always the victim, even when they're not. The next person you're with will be able to see that and wonder what the fuck your ex was smoking. And then the two of you will laugh about the long string of failed relationships shell have had. That's what my wife and I do. Of the ones I know about through the kids... The first 4 were all coworkers... Chris #1, Darryl?, Chris #2, Kyle (her newest ex-husband), and at least 2 more I never learned the names of. The last shared her lo…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 03:37 PM
3

None of that shit will stick. My ex lost 100+ lbs. before she decided to divorce me. She had a huge glow up, got tons of male attention and decided she was too hot to stay with me. Cue the line of guys that ran her through and the numb nuts that married her only to get divorced shortly after. She also started going to a non-denominational church so she could make the kids be non-Catholic. She doesn't go to church anymore, gained the weight back, lost the husband. She no longer works out, moved b…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 02:22 PM
1

So, what do you want? A long string of short relationships? That sounds like a waste of time to me. I've had my share and then some. The whole marriage thing really is the greenest grass in the long run. I desired my ex when she was morbidly obese as well as when she was at her thinnest (which was when she got the boyfriend, go figure). My wife and I are much different than my first marriage. We always kiss each other hello and goodbye. We share a seat on the couch... Recliner area so it's snug.…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 10:34 PM
26

If she filed, she can pound sand. If you filed, keep in mind why you did so.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 11:44 PM
1

I dunno... Slow walk the divorce. Have your lawyer ask for extra time since you're literally dealing with a ton of shit right now. Try to get cost estimates for your treatments and have that amount of funds excluded from the total split. They are costs incurred during your time as a couple and as such it's a common financial burden... especially if you're still married. Thus the slow walk on the divorce. Really, can you be considered to be in your right mind when under the influence of so many d…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 03:23 AM
1

Not as a Catholic. A Catholic wedding requires a state marriage license. The priest will sign it as the officiant according to the applicable laws.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 02:50 AM
2

Crazy Time by Abigail Trafford. That and lots of time on my therapist's couch, and reconnecting with my church.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 01:26 AM
7

I'm of a different opinion on this. But, I can completely understand your frustration at this point in the process. The way I look at it, though, is that I simply married the wrong woman. Or rather the wrong type of woman. She's the result of two affair partners getting married. Our first home was "a starter home." She moved around a lot as a kid and when she was in one place too long, she moved bedrooms. Between her 5 half-siblings there's been 11 marriages. So, yeah. I was the starter husband.…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 05:10 PM
11

From the moment she let you know she wanted a divorce, she wasn't yours anymore. Her admission, especially given the timing, sounds like a nail in the coffin. Trust me, before you know it, you won't even care. And even after that moment, you might care again. This shit is weird.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 01:48 PM
1

Oh, she's a woman. She'll have no issues getting laid. My ex certainly didn't. But, here's the thing. Fucking her and giving her commitment are not to be confused. My divorce was final in 2018. In order, there's the 1 boyfriend I found out about before the divorce she initiated, 3 the kids told me about, her new ex-husband, and 1 more the kids told me about that ended a few months ago. Keep your value high, let her ruin her value and just smile.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 07:10 PM
14

Happiness is truly the best revenge.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 10:33 PM
-1

Well, in my opinion having a sexual relationship post divorce is a bad idea. Ideally, you'd wait until you got married again and be fucking picky as hell. I fell hard in my first relationship. Then I overcorrected by trying too hard to make things work. I couldn't bear the thought of "failing" again and looking like a fool, again. Take a moment to figure out why you're with her. In my opinion, if you can't see being happy being married to her, you shouldn't be fucking her. No one says you have t…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 05:08 AM
15

Depression and drinking? Not a good combination my dude. The way to get out of this is by taking baby steps. Let's let the first one be the drinking. It's empty calories, poison, and making you more depressed. Once you're done with the drinking look into making an attainable positive change in your life. Timeline is a week to a month. Oftentimes people treat this shit like a New Year's resolution like "I'm gonna get in shape." The cut drinkin and smoking; start a diet; join a gym; drink a gallon…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 04:25 PM
9

I'd recommend not dating for a while, getting into therapy, and finding something social to do. For me that included a religious fraternal organization. But, volunteering for something would be good as well if the whole religion thing isn't your thing. The bonus to volunteering is that it puts things into perspective. Sure, your life might suck, but they're often just first world problems. It changes the internal narrative from "I'm so alone" to "I've got no social obligations."
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 03:32 PM
9

I just lived my life. I was already doing the gym thing. I got into therapy, though. But, I focused on what made me happy. Granted, I'm a nerd so that included a 4k TV, Xbox series X, tuba, gaming laptop, and joining my church choir along with the Knights of Columbus. And I used a Catholic specific dating website. That along with purposeful dating was the key. And I made it obvious I was a complex, fucked up person, with kids and a rich life. I was mid 40s, bald with two kids and a terminal case…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 03:08 PM
5

I feel that deciding to not get married again is you helping your ex deny you lasting happiness. I remarried 3 years after our 2018 divorce. She's since divorced again after her 2020 marriage to a now former coworker. Get the therapy. Figure out what's important for you in a partner. The stuff you NEED not the stuff you just want. My list was short. My new wife is naked in bed beside me snoring much louder than any petite 5'1" has any right to. But, she's here, we're happy, and divorce is the la…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 07:34 AM
1

Nah. No alimony. Hell, she made more than me. And I didn't force her to do anything. As for me and marriage... Well, I got into therapy right away, actually the day she filled, unbeknownst to me. Is discovered a relationship of hers and was trying to salvage the marriage. I ended up in a relationship really quickly and tried way too hard to make it work. Worked through a bunch of shit with my therapist and ended up breaking up with the young woman after 11 months. And I promised my therapist I w…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 06:40 AM
2

Well, my kids were pretty young and therefore idealistic. So, when I impressed on them that it was our legal agreement and showed them I was abiding by it... Well, the kids became my best enforcers. Kids are great snitches.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 12:23 AM
2

In our 2018 divorce, we had a morale clause put in place, which I abided by religiously. Her, on the other hand... No romantic partners while you have custody between the hours of 8pm and 8am. His place, her place, hotel rooms, RVs, tents, etc. That'll make her monkey-branch more difficult. First time it happened (that I know of) her cop uncle was over visiting from out of state for the holidays in 2019. I called to say goodnight to the kids. Heard a boyfriend there, it was 8:30 pm. I texted her…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 08:22 PM
1

Together 19 years, married almost 16. Two kids Currently married for 3 years 2 step kids and 50/50 custody of my biological kids.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 11:29 PM
2

Nope. At this point, I'm helping him. He would have had to pay alimony for more years. I got him years worth of a reprieve from alimony. My wife kept the marital home because of their two kids. We're renting it out, which essentially lets it pay for itself, so it's not income property yet. Additionally, I've signed a quit claim on the house so in case we both pass, it goes to my stepkids. I'm maxing out my 401K contributions, maxing out my ESSP, and putting a lot into my HSA. All told, I put awa…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 02:30 AM
5

Oh yeah. Was booted from the marriage and had $10k in my 401K and $20k in credit card debt. Also only got 40% of the equity in the marital home so I could have 50/50 custody of the kids. That was 2018. I'm now remarried, have two homes (wife got her marital home which we're renting out and a few years from payoff), four owned cars in the household, and more than $300K in my retirement savings. So, yeah. Much better off. My ex-wife made more money than me. But, she definitely spent it as fast as …
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 05:22 PM
5

Hey, buddy. I get it. Been there. But, from what I'm seeing of your responses to what people are suggesting, it feels like you're deep into your own little pity party. I've got a 50/50 custody schedule with a 5-2-2-5. Yeah. At the beginning it was rough. But, if you just keep saying that everything is too hard and wallowing in it, you're going to be stuck there for a lot longer. If you're scared that people will reject you now or on the future... you'll never make new friends at all. Ultimately,…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 07:49 PM
1

Big thing to look for is the standing orders in your county for couples going through a divorce. Acquaint yourself with those ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 01:24 PM
1

Oh yeah. Putting your foot down on bullshit stuff (like the TRO) works so well. Case in point: Ex-wife wanted me to continue to pay half of her car payment after the divorce. She claimed it was a "marital debt." She kept coming at me for it. My response was, "If you cannot afford the note after we're divorced sell it and get something you can afford."
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 08:07 PM
9

Divorced in 2018. Morality clause in the divorce decree helped with that in my case. Between 8pm and 8am no romantic partners were allowed to be in the house, hotel, RV, etc. while exercising custody of the kids. Yeah, it was a complete pain in the ass which left us scrambling from time to time at 7:50pm. One time at my current wife's house, my daughter needed to use the bathroom before we left. So, I stepped outside waiting patiently for my daughter to complete her bowel movement. It must have …
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 07:58 PM
3

Dude. An orgasm is not the end-all be-all that you seem currently wired to think that it is. Could you get sex somewhere else? Sure. Fine. Good for you. Good ol' "catch and release," right? But, let me tell you that you're fucking shit up hard because you're counting how often you have an orgasm per week. And you're hooked on that new relationship energy and each "conquest."
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 07:37 PM
1

I got married a second time and just celebrated my 1 year anniversary. My ex-wife got married a second time and... months ago announced to the kids she was getting a divorce. Then 2 months or so ago she said they were trying to work things out. She, of course, initiated the divorce after losing 100+ lbs. using bariatric surgery. I also have 50/50 custody and don't pay child support. There's a lot of bad stories out there. There's also good ones. You're not likely to find them here, though. What …
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 02:49 PM
1

Okay. I'll give my two cents here. I'm happily remarried to a new woman after my 2018 divorce. For me, it was really finding someone that believed but only in marriage but in Holy Matrimony. And when it comes to the Catholic Church, there's a big distinction between the two. So, after a lot of flailing after my divorce I went back to basics. What made me happy? And it was really my life in high school, as silly as it sounds. I was happiest playing video games, playing music, and being active in …
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 05:58 PM
3

Your wife is gone. She's dead. This woman you're sending a child support check to killed and buried her. At least that's the mindset I had to shift to in order to deal with the... person who now inhabits her husk. She's kind of like Amber Heard, except that she shat her own bed and not yours. And for the record, it's kind of okay that you've got those feelings there. It's hard to be with someone for years or decades and be tossed aside. It takes a while to process all of that and get some distan…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 09:53 PM
2

In my divorce decree it was stated she had to provide me with an 8332... She makes more and we have 50/50, so she's primary as far as the IRS is concerned due to the pay difference. In 2019, my first year filing separately as a divorcee, I filed quickly claiming only one child as we'd agreed I'd claim the oldest of the two. I also claimed 50% of the cost of daycare. My ex-wife waited until the last moment. Somewhere in the IRS system they flagged it as both kids for the daycare expenses. They ki…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 11:08 PM
1

Sent you a link to the group.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/21 03:18 AM
1

Sent you a link to the group.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/21 03:18 AM
2

My sister and I did YMCA camps during the summer when we visited my dad. So, that's definitely an option. Though, I do know that you also have to bank days for Christmas and Thanksgiving if you're on the every other holiday/every other year plan. So, vacation days are important. This is the perfect time of year to plan the rest of your year and get those vacation requests submitted. And don't feel bad grabbing all the good PTO time around the holiday if it's your year. Just with the holidays you…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/21 02:00 PM
1

Dude... I get it. I've been there. At the time my marriage fell apart I was working in a large 23 seat room. I'd be at my desk working with tears streaming down my face. Management told me to go home if I needed to. But, there wasn't anything or anyone to go home to. So, I cried while working. And honestly, had it not been for my kids, I don't know how long it would have taken me to get out of bed most days. But, I had kids to care for. The first thing you need is therapy. And if you don't like …
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/21 09:26 PM
2

I'm lucky. Well, kind of. It cost me 10% additional equity in the marital home for my ex-wife to agree to 50/50 custody. When I originally told her I was going to ask for 50/50 her first response was, "they're going to make me pay you child support." This was followed up immediately by "you're taking my kids away from me." I had already verbally agreed to "standard visitation" but I had a really awesome therapist who pushed me to seek 50/50 custody. But, the whole reason I even was accepting of …
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/20 04:00 PM
2

That didn't seem overly friendly to me. It's, admittedly, phrased in such a way that you'd have to be a tool to gripe about any inconvenience. But, it feels informational to me. But, that's my take on it. Not knowing your history aside from that...
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/18 08:37 PM
3

It bears mentioning that this surgery may require you to take custody of the kids during surgery and recovery. So, it seems more informational... ie. this is going on, I may need help with the kids. My STBXW's father was sick recently, then committed suicide on the 21st. So, yeah. Medical emergencies and, in this case, death can cause custody arrangements to go into a tailspin. Recommendation in those situations, don't do retroactive trades on custody time. Just watch the kids when needed and th…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/18 08:12 PM
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