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Alf248365 Archive

View 3 posts and 142 comments by Alf248365 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

Basic QuestionAlf248365/r/askMRP28/07/20 01:02 PM
7

RamboAlf248365/r/askMRP17/11/21 02:01 PM
4

Alf248365/r/askMRP09/03/22 04:32 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

OYS 18 – 8 Nov 2022 Background Age 49; married 26 years; 7 kids (ages 8 – 22); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook, TRP “Required Theory Reading”, Rational Male Year 1, Practical Femail Psychology (76%), numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 80kgs; Squat 50kg, OHP 27.5kg, DL 52.5kg, Bench 30kg Trying to get back into OYS, after a year’s break (albeit kept working on red pill stuff) Physical Just started working out again after a long break, due to 3 hernias. Switched from St…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/22 10:46 AM
1

Thanks for the reminder not to use vague language
/r/askMRP11/03/22 07:05 AM
1

OYS 24 – 8 Mar 2022 Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 7 – 22); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook, TRP “Required Theory Reading”, Rational Male Year 1, MAP (73%), numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 76.3kg; StrongLifts 5x5: Squat 55kg, OHP 31kg, DL 57.5kg, Bench 38kg Physical 3 hernias confirmed!! Surgery scheduled for 29 March. Can’t do any exercises that use muscles below the waist, even push-ups and bench press. Doctor confirmed that I can go back to th…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/22 01:13 PM
1

Thanks. I do see the benefit of self-discipline and I am generally quite self-disciplined. I also don't have an issue with accepting the facts as they are, getting back to lifting once I can, and doing what's posible in the menatime. However, I do think that looking stronger, being stronger and having a sense of achievement from these are also important benefits.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/22 03:04 PM
1

OYS 23 – 15 Feb 2022 Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 7 – 22); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook, TRP “Required Theory Reading”, Rational Male Year 1, MAP (47%), numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 76.3kg; StrongLifts 5x5: Squat 55kg, OHP 31kg, DL 57.5kg, Bench 38kg Mission To be the man I can be Hopefully MAP will help with defining my goals (although having read nearly half of it, I am underwhelmed so far with its triteness.) Physical Recently diagnose…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 01:14 PM
1

OYS 22 – 8 Feb 2022 Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 7 – 22); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook, TRP “Required Theory Reading”, Rational Male Year 1, MAP (31%), numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 76.3kg; StrongLifts 5x5: Squat 55kg, OHP 31kg, DL 57.5kg, Bench 38kg Mission To be the man I can be Hopefully MAP will help with defining my goals (although having read 1/3 of it, I am underwhelmed so far with its triteness.) Physical Saw specialist doctor yest…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 05:49 PM
1

Thanks (I know you advised against marriage counselling)
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/22 03:23 PM
1

Thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/22 03:21 PM
1

OYS 21 – 1 Feb 2022 Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 7 – 22); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook, TRP “Required Theory Reading”, Rational Male Year 1, MAP (11%), numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 76.3kg; StrongLifts 5x5: Squat 55kg, OHP 31kg, DL 57.5kg, Bench 38kg Mission To be the man I can be Hopefully MAP will help with defining my goals Physical Until a few weeks ago, I thought that going to the gym, and increasing the weights, was doing well. I was…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/22 03:20 PM
1

OYS 20 – 21 Dec 2021 Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 7 – 21); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook, TRP “Required Theory Reading”, working through Rational Male Year 1, numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 73.8kg; StrongLifts 5x5: Squat 51kg, OHP 28kg, DL 50kg, Bench 32kg, Row 40kg Mission To be the man I can be.Not sure what my goals are. Presumably will be clarified when I create my MAP Physical The reality check of previous MRP comments, re where I am up…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 11:00 AM
1

Great stuff. Thank you She has barely spoken to me since last night. I am being pleasant and interacting normally re logistics but am not initiating small talk or seeking attention
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/21 10:00 PM
0

(I wasn't expecting any particular reaction from her) but were you just theorising that my OI wasn't there or are you also saying that not only should AA be to a ridiculous extreme but must also be in an absurd direction?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/21 09:46 PM
1

He says it defuses the situation. You say that is not the goal and is not necessarily acheived. How is that not different? I assume you mean that 1) I shouldn't be using it to defuse the situation and, separate to that, 2) you think I'm "using it in a whiny blue pill way"? Can you clarify why you think my use above ( a tongue in cheek "we'll never have a good marriage") was whiny/blue pill?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/21 02:25 PM
1

Thanks. I like what you say and am willing to give ita try. My concern is that then she will do the same to me - ie contradict me in front of the kids. I don't mind leading in front of the kids but I don't think it's healthy for them to see us arguing and taking different approaches with them (which neither side backs down from). Possibly this is only a concern because I have not progressed far enough in MRP yet.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/21 09:36 AM
1

Thanks That's actually a great line - will keep it in mind. u/Blarg_Risen had a different take on it in my OYS last week, he said: AA amplifies to absurdity because the question is illogical. Not because it diffuses a situation. AM makes light of the point and covertly communicates that you are in control. Not to diffuse the situation.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/21 09:32 AM
1

Thanks. Makes a lot of sense and I will try to implement. My only hesitation is that in the past when I have corrected her in front of the kids (not in a harsh way) she has reacted with annoyance and accused me of undermining her
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 11:53 PM
1

Thanks. It was moving in the right direction but dived off the cliff a couple of hours ago !! We had a religious fast day today and were about to eat at the end of it, when my 16 year old old responded rudely to her when she told him off. She got annoyed and told him to leave the room without having eaten. I whispered to her that that was unfair. Cue a (brief) argument in front of the kids. I didn't want to lose frame and back down. She is still distant. With hindsight I should have stepped in m…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 09:39 PM
1

Thanks How do I use links? Surely AA involves saying something negative, lightheartedly (her comment was along the lines that no, things were not improving between us)
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 05:53 PM
1

OYS 19 – 14 Dec 2021 Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 7 – 21); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook, TRP “Required Theory Reading”, working through Rational Male Year 1, numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 75.6kgs; StrongLifts 5x5: Squat 49kg, OHP 26kg, DL 47kg, Bench 30kg, Row 39kg. Incrementing at 1kg/session due to age and slight build Mission To be the man I can be Not sure what my goals are. Presumably will be clarified when I create my MAP Physical St…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 11:40 AM
1

Thanks for the suggestion and explanation. I was due to bench 25kg today but took your advice and did 30kg. It was harder but I got through all 5x5, accelerating my program by 5 weeks. Will try incrementing by 2kg rather than 1kg until I get to 40 kg - saving another 5 weeks).
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/21 02:58 PM
1

Thanks I take your points re having a vision for the teen centre (whichI'll give some thought to) and using AA/AM as part of a bigger picture. PS I actually enjoy going to the gym.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/21 09:59 AM
2

A lot of that rings true for me. I don't think I'm angry but I do find it hard to find the balance between "I've been doing it all wrong and need to learn the MRP way, even if it feels unnatural" and "don't blindly follow MRP but be true to myself". So when there is a shit test from my wife I 'm standing there thinking what is the right thing to do, as my natural behaviour is what caused the problem in the first place. My main default is still STFU or to walk away if i can see it will not be pro…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/21 09:55 AM
1

Thanks. You are right I do have a fear of hurting myself - not so much for the pain itself but because it will delay my progress. I am still incrementing at 1kg/session, so while it is slow there is progress. In addition, as i have a slight build, my thinking is that slow and steady will get me further than fast and hitting a wall. It is also giving me an opportunity to get my form right before the weights are really challenging. As a genuine question - do you disagree with that approach and, if…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/21 09:48 AM
1

Thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/21 03:16 PM
1

Thanks. In order of your points (I can't get the Reddit quotes to work): StrongLifts recommends twice a week for over 40's (although to be transparent I can't currently get to the gym more than twice a week) Teen Centre - my goals in joining were to give something back to the community and to create opportunities to build friendships. This project just happened to be around. I didn't choose it because it is my passion. I don't yet know enough about the potential users, or their needs, to have a …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 10:04 AM
1

Thanks for your reply. (Sorry but I cannot get the Reddit quote thing to work.) To respond to your points in order: SL recommendds twice a week for over 40's. My workouts are starting to take a little longer now that the squats and rows are getting heavier I had Covid Thanks. That was the realisation i was coming to
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 09:55 AM
1

Thanks for this. StrongLifts actually recommends twice a week for over 40's. I don't know much about other programs (I was recommended StrongLifts here and, so far, I am continuing to progress) but will have a look at the other programs you mentioned.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 09:35 AM
1

OYS 18 – 7 Dec 2021 Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 7 – 21); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook, TRP “Required Theory Reading”, working through Rational Male Year 1, numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 73.4kgs; StrongLifts 5x5: Squat 47kg, OHP 25kg, DL 46kg, Bench 24kg, Row 38kg. Incrementing at 1kg/session due to age and slight build Mission To be the man I can be Not sure what my goals are. Presumably will be clarified when I create my MAP Physical Sti…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/21 12:55 PM
1

Thanks
/r/askMRP22/11/21 10:58 AM
1

Thanks. At the time I didn't think leaving the room was a sensible option. I see now that that would have been the better course of action. I have owned up to that to her. I like the boundaries you have implemented and will give some thought as to using something similar. I am still confused about the whole "her cumming" thing. If, for arguments sake, I am always happy with a 2 minute quickie and she never gets to cum, that is fine?
/r/askMRP18/11/21 11:25 AM
1

Thanks
/r/askMRP18/11/21 11:20 AM
1

Thanks
/r/askMRP18/11/21 11:19 AM
1

Thanks. Appreciate this although I don't think it's likely to go legal
/r/askMRP17/11/21 03:01 PM
3

Sounds like you need to work on your ground game. What does this mean?
/r/askMRP17/11/21 02:52 PM
2

What do you think here? You argued for 2 hours. 1) never argue with a woman. 2) TWO HOURS and didn’t want to “lose” by me leaving the bedroom JFC. Get out of this win/lose mindset. Did you want to leave? Then leave. "This isn't working for me" and leave. Or STFU and leave. Thanks At the time I thought leaving would be a sign of weaknes. I take your point. Definitely have a way to go still on the lifting. I'm working on it.
/r/askMRP17/11/21 02:52 PM
1

Thanks. Didn't get any advice in OYS. I'm not afraid to lose. I wanted some outside perspective.
/r/askMRP17/11/21 02:47 PM
2

Thanks. I was trying to go to sleep. Difficult when someone is ranting 2 feet away
/r/askMRP17/11/21 02:43 PM
1

It started around 10 pm. She was in the bedroom with me. I wanted to go to sleep.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/21 02:03 PM
1

True
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/21 12:35 PM
1

Assume you mean because my wights are still light. I won't get into a big debate but, since i started going to the gym, I have NEVER voluntarily missed a possible session. There have been some unavoidable gaps (eg Covid) and I am taking it slow and steady as i am older and have a slight build.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/21 11:53 AM
1

OYS 17 – 16 Nov 2021 Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 7 – 21); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook, TRP “Required Theory Reading”, working through Rational Male Year 1, numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 73.3kgs; StrongLifts 5x5: Squat 41kg, OHP 22g, DL 41kg, Bench 21kg, Row 35kg. Incrementing at 1kg/session due to age and slight build Mission To be the man I can be Not sure what my goals are. Presumably will be clarified when I create my MAP Micro-goals …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/21 11:14 AM
1

OYS #16 – 26 Oct 2021 Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 21); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook, TRP “Required Theory Reading”, working through Rational Male Year 1, numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 72kgs; StrongLifts 5x5: Squat 42kg, OHP 23kg, DL 44kg, Bench 27kg, Row 36kg. Incrementing at 1kg/session due to age and slight build Mission To be the man I can be Not sure what my goals are. Presumably will be clarified when I create my MAP Micro-goals …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/21 02:57 PM
1

i had a similar path - being religious because of my parents, being less religious when I wasn't controlled by them anymore and then becoming more religious again when it was my own choice. I 'm not sure that I WANT to keep the rules but I do believe that it is the right thing to do. That isn't because of my wife and wouldn't change if we separated.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 03:19 PM
1

We both believe that this rule applies to our marriage (not saying it's always easy). We could choose to break the rule but that's not quite the same thing.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 01:44 PM
1

Good point
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 01:30 PM
1

Was thinking about multiple wives - would help with Dread as well !! In Jewish law it used to be permitted to have up to 6 wives. I used to think that was crazy - it was hard enough with one wife. But now I can see the benefits. Unfortunately they stopped allowing it around 1,000 years ago ! On a more serious note, we all have constraints we need to operate within. This is just one of mine. Also, (not saying I would have chosen this voluntarily) but I can see a benefit to sex not being possible …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 01:30 PM
1

Thanks. As you say, it is what it is (maybe I'll receive divine assistance !!). I would speculate that no one's immersion is literally 100% of the time, so maybe I can have immersion 2 weeks a month. Alternatively, like you said previously, immersion doesn't have to be physical, so that could be an option the other 2 weeks. I don't have all the answers but I haven't exhausted all the options, so I'll keep pushing forward. PS I'm not surprised but the only comments I received were on the part of …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 08:51 AM
1

I didn't make the rule but I'm not looking to break it at present. If we can have a great sexual relationship the other 2 weeks, I can live with 2 weeks off (which might actually be a good thing). It should actually be 12 days off and 16 days on but is currently longer because her periods are a little messed up. She's supposed to be taking something to regulate them but keeps forgetting. After reminding her on it for a while i decided to leave it to her to remember, as otherwise I'm not the priz…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 03:59 PM
1

OYS #15 – 19 Oct 2021 Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 21); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook, TRP “Required Theory Reading”, working through Rational Male Year 1, numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 72kgs; StrongLifts 5x5: Squat 40kg, OHP 22kg, DL 43kg, Bench 26kg, Row 35kg. Incrementing at 1kg/session due to age and slight build Mission To be the man I can be Not really sure what my goals in life are. Presumably will be clarified when I create my M…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 01:58 PM
1

Been giving some further thought to the need for immersion. Can you clarify how me creating immersion works vs me being the prize and leaving her to chase me? By way of background, on a typical day we don't naturally spend much time together, so one (or both) of us would need to make changes for that to change. Even somthing small like me grabbing her ass, or kissing her, would require me to go to where she is (typically on the phone or a zoom meeting in our bedroom) - ie I am then doing the cha…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/21 09:48 AM
1

Thanks for replying again. That was the situation. I couldn't work out how to straighten it. I did look at those links but it seemed to be a slightly different technique to the one I'm using. So I went back to Stronglifts.com (it's a great website) and read his advice for keeping the back straight on the deadlift and barbell row. I had another workout tonight and was able to keep my back much flatter during the barbell row (I videoed myself again). The key for me was arching my back, once I was …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/21 11:12 PM
1

Thanks. It's not the weight, as my back is rounded before I even pick up the weight. I'm going to try reading/watching the links in the previous comment
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/21 09:39 PM
1

Thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/21 01:25 PM
1

Thanks. Haven't had time to read/watch all the links yet but will do so. Appreciate you taking the time.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/21 01:24 PM
1

Thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/21 03:28 PM
2

Thanks - really appreciate the feedback. I've seen that post before but I'm a way off getting her there. At present she is not so keen on denial and also tends to go "off the boil" rather than staying aroused. PS How can i reply to multiple individual points on Reddit, like you did in your first response
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/21 03:10 PM
3

Thanks. She did say at one point tht I should do whatever I want with her. 2 questions: Why then would I ever go down on her? How do I create immersion on a regular (daily) basis
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/21 02:48 PM
1

Thanks. Re her not cumming - is this something that I never need to worry about? Given that it normally takes me less time than her, is that not selfish if she never comes? ​ No immersion. Women don't have magic buttons that you can press and suddenly they are feeling like a slut I think this is the root of the problem. It was a very different setting when we were sat by a pool by ourselves, in swimwear, kissing every now and then. I haven't got to this part of the sidebar reading yet. How can I…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/21 12:58 PM
6

OYS #14 – 12 Oct 2021 (couldn’t post last few weeks) Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 21); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook, TRP “Required Theory Reading”, working through Rational Male Year 1, numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 71.8kgs; StrongLifts 5x5: Squat 38kg, OHP 22kg, DL 43kg, Bench 28kg, Row 37kg. Incrementing at 1kg/session due to age and slight build. De-loaded as missed a week Mission To be the man I can be Micro-goals Current goals: · …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/21 10:17 AM
1

Thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/21 11:11 AM
1

I will give it a go. My concern is that I have few consequences entirely within my control. Eg in your example you complied with the instruction to pick up the sticks. What would have happended if you'd said no? My son has said no to me in the past.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/21 11:10 AM
1

All good points. I will try to plan how to approach this. Communication/diplomacy is not always my strong point + I sometimes ask my 15 year to do something to be responded to with a "no" and I don't have many available consequences other than restricting his playstation. I can only try.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/21 04:48 PM
1

Thanks for this. You're right - an outside perspective was helpful. I'm not scared of her any more (at least nowhere near as much as i was !!) and I did book the break becuase she wanted one. My nervousness was based on teh fact that most family holidays for the last 15 years have been unenjoyable because I have been stuck 24/7 with someone not speaking to me. But you're right. Even though I didn't book it for me, why shoudl i not enjoy it. If she isn't good company I can go and do things on my …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/21 03:04 PM
2

Thanks. Sounds like a good idea. Have to think about exactly how to implement that but it makes a lot of sense. I can get my wife to go along, even if she complains. The key challenge/uncertainty will be deciding boundaries for my son that are mutually acceptable. And similarly consequences if he breaks them.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/21 01:05 PM
2

OYS #13 – 14 Sep 2021 (couldn’t post last week) Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 21); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook, almost finished TRP “Required Theory Reading”, numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 155 lbs; StrongLifts 5x5: Squat 39kg, OHP 24kg, DL 47kg, Bench 25kg, Row 34kg. Incrementing at 1kg/session due to age and slight build Mission To be the man I can be Micro-goals Current goals: · Smile in my interactions with other people, especially …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/21 10:28 AM
1

Thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/21 08:53 AM
1

OYS #11 – 31 Aug 2021BackgroundAge 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 21); career betaRead: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook, numerous MRP postsPhysical: 5’10”; 155 lbs; StrongLifts 5x5: Squat 35kg, OHP 22kg, DL 45kg, Bench 23kg, Row 32kg. Incrementing at 1kg/session due to age and slight buildMissionTo be the man I can beMicro-goalsGoals for this week:· Smile in my interactions with other people, especially my wife· Confident body language (wide tall stance, hands open and apart)Fut…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/21 03:31 PM
1

You're right there is some neediness there that i hadn't realised, although the point I was trying to make is that (in order to initiate/kino more) I wasn't sure whether I should be ensuring we spend time together
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/21 01:03 PM
1

Thanks. Re-read it. I did miss the point. I was thinking about where it says she was reduced to being unable to talk - ie she is turned on. Maybe that is only for a "good woman [who follows] your lead" therefore either way this is something i should do.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/21 01:00 PM
1

but normally I have to initiate from a cold-start, which can feel clumsy. You're not constantly gaming your wife throughout the day. True. I only see her for around an hour a day and she is often unresponsive or unreceptive, particularly if the kids are around but i have to take the opportunities I have. I haven't got the reading on gaming yet. Any suggestions for something quick i could read on it in the menatime? PS How can I quote multiple sections in my reply - when I try Reddit keeps deleti…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/21 03:59 PM
1

OYS #10 – 24 Aug 2021 Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 21); career betaRead: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook (p249), numerous MRP postsPhysical: 5’10”; 154 lbs; restarted StrongLifts 5x5 2 weeks ago, after being away: Squat 34kg, OHP 22kg, DL 45kg, Bench 22kg, Row 31kg. Incrementing at 1kg/session due to my age and slight build Mission To be the man I can be Micro-goals Thanks u/dust2dust45 for this advice last week: “put some goals in your OYS. https://www.reddit.c…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/21 08:52 AM
1

Thanks. Great suggestion. I was in a 12 step recovery program for a few years and, while it's not the way forward for me, i was missing the concrete regular actions that it had, that allowed me to know that I was taking action. I really like the idea of small concrete goals. Thanks also for the advice re lifting/eating. I struggle with the idea of putting on weight as I don't like my belly. I'll put that to one side for now and concentrate on lifting. Once my lifts are at a higher level, I'll co…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/21 08:07 AM
13

Have you looked at the sidebar on r/marriedredpill. If you're on a mobile device, hit the 3 dots in the to right hand corner, then Community Info
/r/askMRP20/08/21 08:37 AM
1

OYS #10 – 17 Aug 2021 Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 21); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook (p226), numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 154 lbs; restarted StrongLifts 5x5 last week, after being away: Squat 32kg, OHP 21kg, DL 42.5kg, Bench 21kg, Row 30kg. As per StrongLifts website, I am incrementing at 1kg/session due to my age and slight build Mission To be the man I can be Physical I am enjoying the progress, albeit a little frustrated that it is…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/21 09:26 AM
1

Thanks for taking the time to respond. ​ This reads to me like you're disciplined except when you're not. Which means you're not disciplined. Which means you're bullshitting yourself. Now, it might be a language thing. If I remember, you're not a native English speaker. It might be you meant something else and you really are genuinely disciplined except in certain very special scenarios. Which brings me to... You're still bullshitting yourself. Your lifts are barely more than just the bar. Four …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/21 01:27 PM
0

Thanks but not sure what your point is?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/21 05:52 AM
1

Thanks. Hadn't thought about it in terms of being a covert contact. Does that mean just leave her to find her own way or is it ok as long as it's overt. If so, what would that look like?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/21 05:50 AM
1

OYS #9 – 10 Aug 2021 Haven’t posted for a while due to a long ban + giving further thought to the way forward as I have also started seeing a therapist. Background Age 48; married 25 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 21); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (x2), Book of Pook (p182), numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 150.6 lbs; restarted StrongLifts 5x5 yesterday, after being away: Squat 30kg, OHP 20kg, DL 40kg, Bench 20kg, Row 30kg Physical I am quite disciplined with going to the gym but tend to l…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/21 04:14 PM
1

If you're on a mobile phone, go onto askmrp or mrp, tap the 3 dots in the top right hand corner and then tap "community info". (on a PC it is literally the sidebar on the right of the main screen)
/r/askMRP08/08/21 06:53 AM
1

Thanks. I didn't mean that I would show annoyance by being attractive. I meant that I would show annoyance if her behaviour was unatractive.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 11:04 AM
1

Although I don't have final goals yet, this motivated me to do the first draft. Not sure I want to put them on public diplay for my wife and kids to see but I may well take up your second suggestion of making a ceremony. Appreciate the input - thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 09:13 AM
1

OYS #8 – 13 Apr ‘21 Background Age 47; married 24 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 21); career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (2nd time 72%), numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 150.6 lbs; restarted StrongLifts 5x5 yesterday, when gyms re-opened: Squat – 20kg, Bench 20kg, Row 20kg Mission For now borrowing another member’s: “To be a man I respect” Porn/masturbating Struggling again with this after getting 4 weeks and then a week. Trying again but not feeling very motivated. I think the key for me is av…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 09:10 AM
2

To use your example, if I was lifting 165, someone calls me weak and I explain that I've hurt my back, it's only then that any useful advice can start. So why waste 3 rounds of communication instead of just giving all the facts at the beginning?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/21 08:14 AM
2

Thanks. That did cross my mind but my thinking was that if i don't explain why I'm not doing more, I will simply get a barrage of advice to get off my backside and do more. Presumably there is some balance between giving background and being defensive. Although I'm not clear on this.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/21 08:06 AM
1

OYS #7 Background Age 47; married 24 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 21) Career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (2nd time 70%), numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 153 lbs; will restart StrongLifts 5x5 when gyms re-open on 12 Apr. Temporarily doing: 3 x 6: squats (with 44lb 6 year old on my shoulders), 2 x 11 push ups and stomach crunches Mission For now borrowing another member’s: “To be a man I respect” Porn/masturbating Day 7 of no porn/masturbation. Managed to get to 4 weeks just before this (almos…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/21 11:08 AM
4

OYS #6 Background Age 47; married 24 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 21) Career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (2nd time 39%), numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 151 lbs; will restart StrongLifts 5x5 when gyms re-open next month. Temporarily doing 3 x 8: squats (with 44lb 6 year old on my shoulders), push ups and stomach crunches Mission For now borrowing another member’s: “To be a man I respect” Porn/masturbating No porn/masturbation since 26 Feb ‘21 (vs multiple times daily previously). When it's c…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/21 10:02 AM
2

Thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/21 06:48 AM
2

How hot is a woman that is DTF, submissive, and eager to please all the time. Especially when all the vets here have it and you don't. You read my mind scarily accurately As enticing as it is, it's not the goal. Deep down, she does not want to be your mission - and she can feelz that. also fear as to whether I'll manage it). Fear. It's always fear. Trust the process. Thanks - the encouragement really helps. Are you OK with PM's, as and when?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/21 03:01 PM
2

Thanks. That sounds painfully accurate. I have started to notice more the things I do for validation (eg almost saying "Isn't great that the guy came out to fit the new stove", subtext "aren't I great for organising it") and choosing to keep quiet instead. Really appreciate the encouragement and knowing that it's a part of the journey for others as well. Will work on becoming self-validating (although there's a bit of me that's having a tantrum at having to give up my expectations of how my wife…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/21 03:01 PM
2

Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/21 12:29 PM
2

Thanks. I guess it's ploughing on with the basics, particularly developing true frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/21 12:28 PM
2

Can you elaborate a bit (not the concept but which part of my post do you have in mind)
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/21 11:48 AM
2

This sounds like me to some extent. Below is what I've found to be true in my relationship, maybe it will resonate. · If my wife is hurt by what I’ve said (eg “I want you but I don’t need you”) do I refuse to soften it or do I apologise for speaking harshly (she feels that I am telling her I don’t want her) Shittest most likely. If you take her reaction out of it, what do YOU think? That's all that matters. · I suspect that my wife is naturally submissive (if I ask her who she belongs to, she wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/21 11:30 AM
3

OYS #5 Background Age 47; married 24 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 21) Career beta Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (2nd time 35%), numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 151 lbs; waiting to restart StrongLifts 5x5 when gyms re-open next month. Temporarily doing 3 x 7: squats (with 44lb 6 year old on my shoulders - thanks u/fix-the-man), push ups and stomach crunches Mission For now borrowing another member’s: “To be a man I respect” Porn/masturbating Day 12 of no porn/masturbation (vs multiple times daily pr…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/21 10:15 AM
2

Much appreciated. I haven't had time to read the links yet but this looks very helpful
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/21 09:18 AM
2

You know that a deficiency of too much time and not enough positive activities to fill it with is not good (which is baffling with 7 fucking kids). The issue is not too much time - I have more than enough tasks to keep me busy. The challenge is finding a healthy pastime when I want a break from dealing with our finances etc. It is also, as per NMMNG, part of me building my self-esteem - doing something for me. It might be a good time to take inventory of what pornography/masterbation was doing f…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/21 09:12 AM
2

Are you saying that if I successfully continue with MRP I will have an existential crisis? Why? (Happy to continue this via PM, if more appropriate)
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/21 09:00 AM
2

True. But if I manage to get my stuff together the way you, and some of the others, seem to, then I think I'll be ok with that
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/21 10:52 PM
2

It seems like you're trying to justify your lack of fitness by explaining pushups and body weight squats are good enough until gyms open. What would you suggest as a better alternative?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/21 08:36 PM
2

Thank you
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/21 08:29 PM
3

Maybe. For her there's religious guilt involved
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/21 03:14 PM
3

She doesn't like them, so doesn't think I should ask
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/21 02:24 PM
2

Thanks. I do see that if I can get through the cravings, it eases off. I probably had around an hour this morning where it was very challenging but it's stopped for now. learn that there are other ways to find release and contentment I think there is a bit of a hole in my life on this front, in that I don't have any hobbies, or even any idea what I might like to do as a pastime. Historically, I was either don't something useful (most of the time) or watching TV/porn. Need to give it some thought
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/21 12:42 PM
8

OYS #4 Background Age 47; married 24 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 21) Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (2nd time 31%), numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 151 lbs; waiting to restart StrongLifts 5x5 when gyms re-open in Apr. Temporarily doing body-weight squats (mainly not to lose the flexibility), push ups, stomach crunches and re-started cycling Mission For now borrowing another member’s: “To be a man I respect” Still trying to find an OYS format that works for me. The 2 main messages that came through …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/21 09:15 AM
1

Thanks for sharing so openly. I can recognise a lot of myself
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/21 11:01 AM
1

That is not the entirety of my parenting (although spending time is important. I once heard a child psychologist say that for kids "love" is spelled "t-i-m-e") I am a hands on father but you are right there is room for improvement. I do think I should DO more (activities etc) with the kids but not sure what or how to find the time. Need to give it some thought
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/21 10:17 AM
1

👍 Thank you
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/21 10:11 AM
1

I started writing out the answers to NMMNG but stopped after a few. Did you DO the exercises as well (eg sharing with other people etc)? Would you say it is better to go back and redo NMMNG or better to get through the rest of the sidebar first? you arent special and arent the only one who had an addiction in life, stop jacking off Feel free to answer by DM if you prefer but do you have practical experience with that. If so what helped you? I want to be honest, otherwise this conversation is mea…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/21 10:08 AM
1

I hear you. Aside from exercise (and sidebar) are there generic actions I should be taking or will it be ad-hoc actions that arise specific to my situation eg fixing the kitchen taps?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/21 10:39 PM
1

No. Not at all. I think I have made some good progress on this since leaving home, and continue to work on it, although I still lack confidence in my emotional responses or when dealing with other people's emotions
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/21 10:32 PM
1

None of this matters. At all. To give you more credit than you deserve, you are on OYS #3 and are likely grabbing at anything you can: your wife, your childhood, etc. to justify being a shitty man and avoid doing the hard work. I did the same thing at first. Blamed my shitty step dad, my wife, my upbringing. Anything I could. It's just your brain trying to trick you into staying in front of your computer. Fair enough. I read just giving some background but will leave it out of future OYS How man…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/21 07:21 PM
1

You may be right. I can only tell you that this is something I've been battling for many years and have put a lot of effort into.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/21 07:09 PM
1

If your gym is closed, what did you DO instead? At present waiting for gym to reopen. I don't have the space for the equipment at home, I want to use a trainer initially to avoid injury and I want to have somewhere to go out of the house. I hope to start cycling again If your wife won't kiss you, what do you DO instead I do get on with my stuff instead. The sitting at the computer was dealing with my property investments etc, not mindless surfing
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/21 07:05 PM
1

Perhaps I missed out too much, in the interests of not making it too long. What I have done is: - be more decisive (eg booked a summer holiday for the family) - take care of things round the house that need fixing (eg getting broken kitchen taps replaced) -trying to ensure that my work day is more productive (less time wasting online) - going to the gym (until lockdown) - be more assertive with my wife - dress better - try not to seek approval from my wife - try to live in my frame, not my wife'…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/21 07:00 PM
1

It was in the"Background" section. Unless you are trying to make the point that the past is irrelevant?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/21 06:47 PM
1

Thanks for that reminder, that it's about fixing me, not her
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/21 06:45 PM
2

OYS #3 Background Age 47; married 24 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 21) Emotionally dysfunctional childhood Being emotionally stunted + inherent betaness + wife finding my porn / seeing me flirt with other women (although I haven’t slept with anyone else) all contributed to the current situation (my wife also has her own issues – eg her mother was always angry and very much wore the trousers in the house). Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (2nd time 29%), numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 151 lbs; started …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/21 09:33 AM
2

Thanks for responding but not sure I understand. What if I just wanted to watch TV all day?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/20 09:24 AM
1

Thanks for this - I had saved that post previously but not got around to reading it. Will do that first. Appreciate the advice, as the responses telling me I'm an idiot didn't particularly give me a way forward.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/20 09:22 AM
1

I have a small belly I'd like to lose (I have quite a narrow frame). I'm not dieting, as such, just trying to cut out snacks and seconds at mealtimes
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/20 09:18 AM
1

In the description of MRP it says that it's for men who want to stay in their relationship. Does that not involve thought as to what is best for the relationship, not just what I want
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/20 11:07 AM
2

Do you care? What do you think? Or said another way - who the fuck does that bitch think she is that she gets to cast judgment on your shit? Stupid cunt can go think whatever the fuck she wants and fuck herself Thanks. Am I missing something? I thought the aim of MRP is to have a healthy relationship, as opposed to a BP relationship. Surely that involves some thought for the other person (albeit making my own decisions as to what is correct, not being dictated to by her)?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/20 10:48 AM
2

OYS #2 Background Age 47; married 24 years; 7 kids (ages 6 – 20) Read: MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG (70%), numerous MRP posts Physical: 5’10”; 149 lbs (down from 155 lbs); just starting with StrongLifts 5x5 (thanks u/stay_plan_is_go_plan) only once/week currently due to a number of factors, including local lockdown/gums closed, trying to find a way to increase the frequency. Also cycling twice a week + stomach crunches (3x25) First looked at MRP probably more than a year ago and have slowly doing more …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/20 10:16 AM
1

you can say 'I am good enough as a person however my behavior so far has not got me what I want so I will change that. I know I will fuck up on the way and each time I do, I will try and learn and do better'. I really like this
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/20 10:22 AM
7

Thanks. I'm early on in the process and have never been alpha, so a lot of work to do. I think I'm making some progress with the shit tests - they don't bother me as much and I don't try to come out having fixed it. Good reminder to just keep plugging away at it
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/20 08:25 AM
2

Thanks. This will take some thought - haven't really considered any of this
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/20 11:02 PM
2

Thanks for this. Probably true. I read your post on validation and probably even more telling is the fact that on Saturday night I initiated sex even though I wasn't that horny. Any particular advice for getting past this, other than continuing with the side bar?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/20 11:00 PM
2

Thank you. I think I have achieved a number of successes: decent job, nice house, wife and 7 kids. I think I'm a good father. You make an interesting point re goals - I don't think I have any! Need to give this some thought. By reading, I assume you mean keep working through the side bar material?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/20 10:34 PM
2

Thanks. The repeat wasn't for her, it was for me - I felt unsatisfied
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/20 01:21 PM
2

OYS #1 Age 47; 5’10”; 156lbs; Married 24 years; Read: MMSLP, Half way through NMMNG (trying to do some of the exercises which is taking time) Health: Cycling 2/3 times a week for last 5 months; Stomach crunches; Not lifting yet as pulled something in my arm a few months back, which hasn’t healed yet. Thinking about a session with a personal trainer to find lifting I can do without causing any damage, until it heals Background Career beta but only realised it in the last 6 months or so. Stereotyp…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/20 12:30 PM
1

Thanks again everyone. Really appreciate the advice (and the soothing and gentle wording makes me laugh!!)
/r/askMRP29/07/20 10:29 PM
1

Thanks. I pulled something when I started doing push ups. It's healing but slowly
/r/askMRP28/07/20 06:18 PM
1

Thanks. If it's your guide to MRP, I am working through it but life seems to be happening faster then I'm getting through the work. Hence my question
/r/askMRP28/07/20 04:16 PM
1

👍
/r/askMRP28/07/20 04:14 PM
1

Great thanks
/r/askMRP28/07/20 04:12 PM
2

Luckily I've read other posts and know that tough love is de rigeur !!
/r/askMRP28/07/20 04:12 PM
1

Thanks everyone. Some great advice
/r/askMRP28/07/20 02:01 PM
0

Thanks
/r/askMRP28/07/20 02:00 PM
1

Thanks, that's really helpful
/r/askMRP28/07/20 01:45 PM
3

Thanks. Appreciate that
/r/askMRP28/07/20 01:45 PM
1

Thanks. Will look into getting that equipment. Is there a good way to learn how to use it, or just YouTube m What kind of thing do you suggest I become busy with (schedule wise)
/r/askMRP28/07/20 01:43 PM
2

Thanks. I access MRP via my phone, so the sidebar doesn't appear. Didn't realise I was missing so much info
/r/askMRP28/07/20 01:26 PM
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