6 days a week she insists on going to bed 2 hours before me, to get up early to meditate/work her 12 step program. I have commitments until at least 9pm each evening, and then need time for household admin, some investments etc.

I was taking an hour at say 9.30 to go, have sex and then work but it meant having to get out of bed as I was falling asleep, which I didn’t enjoy, and also meant starting my tasks at 10.30 pm when I was already tired and not able to think as clearly. In addition, this feels like operating in her frame.

The last few nights I’ve instead offered to compromise and “split the difference” but in reality she was almost asleep by then. So no sex. I’ve kept my interactions “logistical” as an act of withdrawal but am struggling not to feel, and show, butt-hurt, which I’ve been called out on.

Am I being a dick by refusing to come to bed early and then getting up at 10.30 to do my tasks? Should I just keep working on myself and she will change her timetable, if she wants to? Am I doing the right thing by withdrawing?