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All4Goldie Archive

View 6 posts and 140 comments by All4Goldie on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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19

This is me 100%. I'm so glad I did!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/22 12:54 AM
9

I know of two direct examples… one close family member and her long time friend. Both have unresolved trauma issues (heal that trauma ladies!!!) and they both ended up with WAY older men. I’m talking around 20 years difference as second marriages. They were middle aged when they met and now one is about to put her husband in a nursing home because he had an accident and declined rapidly in the past 2 years and her life has been like the 7th circle of hell. The other is dealing with hers having p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 06:10 AM
12

So good! Subtle yet makes an impression, even if they don’t read too much into it right away. The ideas and info I get from this group are amazing. I have a young woman who helps me with my daughter that I would love to turn onto FDS, but, it’s not something you just spring on someone lol. At her age I doubt I would’ve been open to hearing it. She has a scrote bf too, of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 07:37 AM
7

I love this!! I want to do the same. I know a couple of younger women that I could give them to, and I would also give them out if I saw groups of girls at the mall or something. That post predates my knowledge of FDS but I remember the podcast episode they did on them. I assume they’re in color? I’ll have to have them made at a retail place. I wonder what that reaction will be like 😂.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 07:00 AM
2

I was thinking this too. OP, you dodged a bullet! Good for you for noticing now and getting out. Please learn from this and study FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 06:46 AM
11

Don’t forget the ‘exotic’ rims! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 04:15 PM
60

Agreed. I once had a guy pick me up at the 7-11 on the corner down the street from my house because I didn’t want him to know where I lived. He was confused. That was the first red flag of so many.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 06:42 AM
52

Yeah I’ve had them flip out when I turned them down on a dating app. So glad for block and delete!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 06:40 AM
133

In the comment I posted he said there were tons of red flags. But, in a different comment he said there weren’t any. Like, yeah, you didn’t see any red flags when you thought you were gonna get your d1ck wet! Now she’s a car crazy druggy. GTFO Edit: damn autocorrect
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 06:08 AM
84

Oh yeah. Was that the guy suggesting the coffee date? Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 06:05 AM
81

Yeah there were a few people saying that it’s possible she felt uncomfortable and bailed. Then, on the flip side, a bunch of a$$holes calling her all kinds of names.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 06:03 AM
2

She likely didn’t have flair and was removed right away. I’ve had that happen to me too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 05:58 AM
6

I know I’m late to the party but this is really encouraging to me! These are my goals. I’m getting there and have had a TON of work to do. Great level up, sis!! ❤️ Be safe out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 04:52 AM
78

Never feel bad about walking out. You don't need a reason to leave. Just be safe about it when you do. Yes! Looking back this would have been great to put in my comment. Safest thing to do if you’re uncomfortable is to leave!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 04:47 AM
61

However the risk of attack is much greater in established relationships with partners, family members, colleagues, neighbours. Realistically, are you going to pull out your self defence tool against these people in a domestic setting? This happened to me. Long story but years ago my soon to be ex-husband (at the time) went into a rage, kicked in the bedroom door on me and I had to pull out this little taser I had gotten for protection from strangers. I ended up having to use it on him because he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 04:19 AM
357

The title caught my eye and when I read it I thought of FDS lol. Maybe it’s hitting the mainstream? Red flags: 🚩 porn use 🚩 he says in comments she was very attractive and she was young 🚩 account history is horrible and I’m sure some of it comes out IRL I didn’t even get through all the comments and this is what I got so far. He was totally telling on himself. 🚨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 04:05 AM
18

I was raised by a narcissist and my father was an alcoholic (similar behavior) and lots of trauma starting from a young age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 05:36 PM
29

Good for you sis!! My dad gave me his original dog tags many years ago and they’re very special to me now that he’s passed. He was drafted during Vietnam. I can’t imagine how someone could just clone them like that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 08:03 AM
5

I’m not sure if you do audiobooks but it’s on Audible. It’s actually read by the author, which I thought was a nice touch. Also, you’re welcome! Hope it helps 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 07:48 AM
49

I feel this. I’m a narcissist magnet. I’ve had to do a ton for work around this to figure out why and heal those parts of me that draw them in and also attract me to them. The struggle is real!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 07:13 AM
46

100%!!! And the dog tags, that so messed up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 07:11 AM
99

Absolutely! My ex-husband was a covert narc. He used to cry to try to emotionally manipulate me, until one day I had enough and I called him out on it. It was like a switch flipped and he just stopped. It was terrifying in itself, I’ll never forget that moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 07:09 AM
16

Such a great post, thank you! I love this take on how to not feel bad or guilty and will remember it! I’ve had really bad (porous) boundaries my whole life because of serious dysfunction in my family. I’ve been working on them quite a bit in the last several years and it has made a difference when I’m able to make healthy boundaries and hold them. It’s a work in progress but they’re so important. I didn’t see it on the read list when I read the handbook but I’ve been reading a great book called …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 07:05 AM
23

Unfortunately, the predators do land prey. It’s usually women who are mentally unwell. Thankfully, OP is not one of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 06:22 AM
73

Being a woman is like defensive driving 24/7. I’ve just learned to be this way with men in general. Experience has shown me that most men that want to be friends with me = just want to have sex with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 06:17 AM
94

Agree completely. My dad was a professor for 30 years. Age gap with my mom was 23 years and she was 16 when she got pregnant the first time. After they divorced she went on to date two more professors, one with a similar age gap. She’s not mentally well, but, is high functioning, as she’s in a very good profession and is successful. My family has issues lol. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 06:13 AM
4

I thought about it while they were talking about it, then, when they said it, it just explains so much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 05:01 AM
1

I know, I know. Most of the time he has me like 🤦🏻‍♀️. He’s a smart kid and educated, just a bit disconnected sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 04:49 AM
10

I was thinking the same about keeping the door open. He introduced her to FAMILY, but didn’t want anything serious? Wtf? Why would you introduce someone to your family if you don’t plan on keeping that person in your life a long time? So, I’ve had to have a conversation about this with my brother. He did something similar and told a woman that he didn’t want anything serious but then wanted to introduce her to family. I told him that she’ll totally get mixed signals if he does that. His response…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 02:07 AM
2

Same to you! I have similar stories over the course of many relationships. I’m in the US and I really think that pathology awareness needs to be more important! There are sooo many and most people don’t know about them. It’s fuking scary!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 11:22 PM
13

Or for the perception that they’re making an effort to get better to satisfy someone like an SO. They absolutely think nothing is wrong and use it as a manipulation and triangulation tactic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 11:18 PM
17

100% this!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 11:16 PM
2

I can relate to this and have a child. You can PM me if you want to talk about it. I don’t want to put it out publicly. I would say not to disclose until you’ve done a ton of vetting, and, even then, only if it’s necessary. LVM are very likely to use your mental health/trauma against you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 11:14 PM
5

It’s a very long story, but, he is a narcissist, so, that’s how I knew he was lying. The story and the facts didn’t add up. Also, once the trauma bond and fog starts to lift and one educates themselves on narcissism and can recognize the traits, it’s easier to see. I have a loooong history of dating narcissists or sociopaths and I’ve had to do a ton of intensive work to heal from that. I’m all for therapy but it has to be done right. Something legitimately just feels “off” about them and I’m alw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 11:07 PM
7

In my experience, he said he was going on his own volition. It was a lie. Narcissists are pathological liars and will always spin the truth to look innocent and like they’re the good guy. Just something to keep in mind. Always good to look at the whole picture and not let just the therapy part taint your vetting. Also, per the post, 2nd date is way too soon to disclose it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 10:54 PM
11

Therapists are definitely enablers. I’ve seen a famous one lauded on here who’s a YouTuber. I forgot his name but I believe he’s half Asian? And he watches reality shows and attempts to assess them through the lens of a therapist. At first I was interested in the content but quickly noticed that he always gave clearly abusive men the benefit of the doubt and believed in the possibility of retribution for these lv men. This is also a man, so that makes sense. There are many, many BAD therapists o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 10:46 PM
31

Not true. Some cluster b’s will go to therapy to appease others (like a wife/gf) and then will use the knowledge to hone their manipulative skills. Also, they’ll use the therapist to triangulate. I’ve seen it first hand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 10:40 PM
16

Wishing you luck! You can do it! ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 10:32 PM
2

I totally understand why! I did change my profile after this. I’m usually more careful online but since it was a game, I was a little less on guard. So stupid that this is how it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 03:41 AM
2

Really?! I’m sorry that’s happening. The internet is a dark place SMH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 04:44 PM
4

Wow. See, scrotes are willing to put effort into some shady shit, but, not to be HV. What a fking joke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 04:43 PM
3

Oh no, I didn’t take it that way at all! It’s crazy how long this has been happening. I saw another article from 2019 talking about the same thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 05:00 AM
4

I love this so much! I can totally relate to your mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 04:52 AM
5

My grandma is a narc and stepped in like this to help my mom after my parents divorced. I’ve been in therapy for years to undo the trauma and recover from the narcissistic abuse from my childhood. This is EXACTLY how she is. Always a victim and martyr, always knows best and always comes in forcefully without being asked. That is just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve worked really hard to lay strict boundaries and limit my daughters exposure to her because she’s toxic. She tells everyone who will lis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 04:12 AM
6

I found this article after I had blocked him. I’ve only been playing for five months so it caught me off guard. I learned that this was a thing and they did make the change where if you block someone you don’t have to resign the game so I was happy about that! Next time I’ll definitely take screenshots and report it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 03:49 AM
6

Might be worth going to the website. Even though this article is older, they did make some changes that helped and the author encourages us to continue to push back. I was able to block the scrote and it automatically deleted him too! I was at least glad I didn’t have to resign and lose, but still. The audacity!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 02:33 AM
10

I just made my profile neutral but I might change it back if I decide to play strangers again and I’ll do this. I just started playing this year. I just wouldn’t have thought. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 01:46 AM
17

I just started playing this year to play against my brother, who, of course doesn’t have this issue. I just changed my username and made my profile pic a no clown symbol lol. The one that really is sick are the ones with porn as their profile pic??!!! This article is old now so I hope that isn’t still a thing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 01:27 AM
20

Strategy is to always have your guard up! Before FDS I may have giving this scrote my time, but, since FDS I blocked and deleted! Can’t even just play a damn game! Ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 12:35 AM
3

YEEEES!!!! I’m so proud of you! Other commenters are spot on about him and I’m so glad you got out. I hope you blocked and deleted him and keep working on your level up to heal. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 06:19 PM
3

I would also be interested in info on your side hustles. My DM is open as well. Being able to make that much on only an hour a day definitely spikes my interest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 05:52 AM
21

My recommendation would be to either not disclose your real name and info (ie phone number or email etc) until you’ve fully vetted and he displays lots of green flags or say your last name is Smith or something generic. Unless it’s your first name that is unique? You could also try a different fake first name. Or maybe your middle name? A nickname that isn’t searchable? You have options. This is important as you weed out the LVM. As was said before and in the other comment here (which is also go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 11:33 PM
6

Yes, I received the notification email of bonus content for this week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 06:47 AM
483

I’d bet $100 that he’s married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 06:40 AM
28

Love her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 05:46 PM
60

Absolute 100% the truth right here. This is why you never try to be the nice girl in this situation. Men like this just don’t give a sh!t and will continue on like this one did. I’ve been there and this has happened to me. Either this or the rage responses. In my pick me days this is what I would do and I never understood ghosting, until FDS. Looking back, it makes so much sense and it’s the only way. 🚨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 03:51 AM
68

I get the vibe that he was on a date with someone else and that’s why he didn’t respond. Not sure what you’re standards for a timely response are but it’s definitely sus and I would block and delete. This sucks! I’m sorry! F*cking scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 03:44 AM
19

This is a great idea! I would even say to extend it even further in your network than your coworkers. Someone might know someone looking to date. That was one of the suggestions on one or of the podcast episodes. (Can’t remember which one, but, can try to find it if someone asks.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 02:49 AM
19

This is a great point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 02:09 AM
88

Not the original commenter but I think the idea is to use something you’re NOT insecure about as a test. If they use that against you, then, it’s a red flag. You could use that as part of vetting and that is not someone you want to tell any traumas to either! I personally won’t tell my traumas to a man until I’ve known him for a while, like years. I used to be the same way you are. Telling guys all about it because I felt I was being ‘open and honest’ BUT it’s caused me nothing but harm as a res…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 02:08 AM
19

These have been said to me a few times. Usually, love bombing 💯. Like you’re so special that no one else can compare to you, “how did I get so lucky?!” 🙄 I can also totally see it as a neg too tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 01:09 AM
11

I agree with you both. I take the info as a cautionary tale for future pursuit of relationships with men vs a judgmental stance against the women. It’s informational for me for learning purposes because I know damn well that it could just as easily be me! (Also applies to the other posts from our other sisters about their experiences)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 04:21 PM
8

It looks like you were responding to /u/Quirky_Confusion_235 here. I definitely agree that you need to get away before doing anything else. You have been under the thumb of your abuser for a long time now, and, although you’re technically broken up, you’re still under his thumb. You’re still formally married and he is still in control. I am very worried for you when you try to make that shift to physically and financially get away from him. He may not react well to that at all! I second finding …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 06:48 AM
7

The other advice given here is great. I agree with /u/katiekat0214 that it sounds like you’re in a fog, I know because I’ve been there. I was in it with a narcissist. I also felt the same way when we were apart. I have an extensive history of getting into relationships with narcissists and have done years of intensive therapy work on it and I STILL got involved with one (albeit briefly) this past year by talking myself into it which is what it sounds like you’re doing right now instead of blocki…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 05:43 AM
3

This is a great post thank you for sharing your story, and same to the commenters. I can’t say I’m in the same boat but I’ve been struggling with some hair loss and am not sure why. I’m working with my doc to try to figure it out but this post was great for me to read! Shout out to all of you wonderful ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 01:58 AM
1

Just seeing your thread but I agree with the other comments. You’ve seen the truth to leave and that’s a hell of a lot more than a lot of women who have been in your shoes and don’t make that choice. Give yourself some grace, hold your head high and start the process to heal yourself. I’ve been there too and you can do this! Everyday you’re alive, you have a choice. Choose happiness and follow that! ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 01:45 AM
27

Oh, but they do see them. I have coworkers that get opinions and advice on their dating profiles from other male coworkers. Maybe that’s why they’re that way? Lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 08:43 PM
22

I’m my area I’ve seen hunting pics with the dead animal. On your dating profile???!!! The worst. And I thought the fish were bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 08:33 PM
11

I feel like I would’ve taken this as humor and been woefully disappointed! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 08:29 PM
273

What the fuck??!! She needed to leave him waaaaay before this happened. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 05:28 AM
18

Congrats on getting out!! I’m so proud of you! Make sure you address any trauma that you might have had from your situation to keep it from coming back to haunt you. For now ENJOY it! You deserve it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 05:19 AM
31

I also intentionally don’t have male friends. I have a few male coworker acquaintances that have helped me out here and there, but, that’s it. I haven’t had male friends in maybe 10 years or more. At some point I realized that they were all hoping to get something from me and I was working on getting closer with women and healing male relationship trauma. Never looked back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 04:40 AM
3

I would definitely check these out too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 04:20 AM
16

True narcissism will ruin your life, not just a relationship! Stay away!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 02:54 AM
1

You did the right thing via the other friend etc. Sometimes this can be dangerous, so, I’m glad you were smart about it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 02:50 AM
2

My best friend and I had a falling out for this same exact reason. I don’t know if he said that to her, but, she definitely believed whatever gaslighting he fed her. I think women tend to turn on each other in these situations instead of holding the men accountable. We need to stand together instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 02:44 AM
5

Agree with this. Proof is important because I’ve told someone’s gf he was cheating and she didn’t believe me. There’s also a lot of risk she’ll confront him and then he’ll get angry or worse she’ll turn on you. This is always a touchy subject to tell the gf/so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 11:15 PM
31

Yes, I am. I just recently found FDS after a round of dating earlier this year that was a fucking nightmare. I haven’t listened to the podcast yet but this really rang true for me: really following through with what you say that you want During that dating period I changed up my standards and what I was looking for and it wound up going really badly. I’m going to try again after the pandemic (maybe in the Spring) and I’m staying away from OLD. I’m planning on just getting out more and socializin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 11:00 PM
86

I hate the fish pics, and they were on most of the profiles! I was like WTF?! Why do I care about some fish? Or in my area there were some hunting pics with the dead animal. 🤮 Fuck no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 05:36 AM
31

I literally just saw something about this and was thinking about the posts I’ve seen here! Absolutely insane! As if we didn’t have enough risk. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 05:30 AM
27

I love the stuff posted on this sub! This was a good video and I subscribed to her channel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 01:26 AM
11

I think that it’s because of the rise of dysfunction and untreated mental illness (at least in the US). It’s terrifying, really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 04:38 PM
14

And those women with fertility/pregnancy issues who see those posts on the internet don’t feel like it’s impersonal. I would imagine his son wouldn’t either. It’s absolutely inconsiderate, internet or not. Famous people need to be even more careful because of the exposure they have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 03:45 PM
482

Never, never, never build a man. They’ll just leave you for someone they deem as better after they become successful. I’m learning so much about these famous scrotes from this sub. Fuck this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 03:41 PM
99

Agree!! He just got a new TikTok follower lol 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 09:11 PM
122

"THE BANANA STRAWBERRY ONE IS YUMMYYYY TEEHEEEEEEEE WE SHOULD TOTALLY BAAAAANG" I’m dead! 😂😂😂 Like a line right out of a bad porn 🤮🤮🤮 The whole thing is so gross!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 05:36 AM
5

I dated a guy briefly this year who insisted that we discuss when I was upset about something within a very short time frame (30min or so) or else I’ve been stewing around being all upset and made. I was like, dude, 24hours is not a long time and I need to process everything and use my coping skills. I broke it off the next day and have learned my lesson. I won’t tell future men I’m dating anything about how I process things other than to bring it up when I’m ready and if he doesn’t like it, nex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:27 AM
3

Yeah honestly I tend to detach from pick mes like this because they usually start getting pretty narcissistic and volatile soon afterwards even after me helping They also make the ‘friendship’ all about using me as a counsellor for their shit relationship but refuse to leave and get defensive of him & hostile to me, when I suggest they do so. I also find they get very unreliable due to putting their scrote first & they will act jealous & make snide remarks to put me down in front of their boyfri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 06:46 AM
141

Just in case I need to add strategy to this: men pay for dates! Be financially stable yourself and it’s not expected for a man to financially support you, but, this is a sign that he is giving and shows he can take care if necessary during the relationship. Of all the sh!t comments I see on Reddit about FDS, this strategy is the most misrepresented!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 01:44 AM
20

Especially, when he describes how she helped him and got him a job he completely minimizes it. D*ck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 01:24 AM
27

I thought I was the only one that bothered 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 05:12 PM
29

The FDS way, which I didn’t know about back the , is to vet the men before meeting them to decrease the likelihood that you need to run away. I was going to say this exactly! They talk about it on the podcast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 03:42 AM
10

And I’m sure at some point it’s going to roll into the joint financials if it’s an addiction. God, I hope she leaves and doesn’t look back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 06:09 PM
68

In another comment she said that he was using a separate account that he had been using to save for a truck, but, now he’s not sure he wants the truck. He probably blew it all already. Shady AF!! Leave and file for divorce. He’ll have to disclose financial info then. Yikes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 05:08 PM
58

I hope she runs like hell and posts an update!! 🚩🚩🚩🚩 Edit: more reasons to vet and leave at the first red flag!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 04:43 PM
118

Yeah, a lot of comments said cop too. And that’s why he was so aggressive with her. We’ve talked about that on this sub too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 04:42 PM
19

This is a great idea. I’m going to do this from now on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 06:24 AM
19

This!! I’m going to read up on this for my daughter when she’s older.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 06:00 AM
14

This guy sounds worse than a narcissist. Killing animals is a really bad sign. Please be careful with your revenge, he might retaliate!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 05:42 AM
6

Really liked this episode. I agree that there is definitely a scale of pickme-ism(?) lol. There are some who are on one end of the scale that you need to walk away from, and, there are others who are salvageable. I’ve mostly had the ones to walk away from and had a falling out with my best friend a few years back because of the scrote she is with. I’m heartbroken about it but look forward to finding more HVW to befriend instead!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 11:39 PM
10

Google is a good option. I personally used the Burner app so I could change numbers easily if I needed to. There were a couple of others but I liked that one best. I think they change their subscription model though since the last time I used it. The only other issue with any fake number service is that if you have an iPhone someone might question why your texts are the wrong color. Just say you have iMessage turned off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 10:18 PM
32

I said this in another comment chain, but, might be worth a top comment. I work in IT and there is a TON of personal info that can be linked to your real personal phone number. Last name for starters. I know Google numbers have been suggested and apps have been mentioned in child comments but to highlight in a top comment, I use burner number apps when dating. They will ring/forward to your phone if they test it. Then you can burn the number safely after your far, far away and safe. Might also b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 04:08 PM
33

This is the right answer. As a woman in tech, you can find out a LOT of information with a real phone number. When I’m dating, I use a burner number app. It’ll even forward directly to your real phone text. Worth looking into! I’ve had my number for a long time and it’s likely linked to a lot of my personal info.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 04:01 PM
11

This is so great that he has a good therapist! That’s not always the case and I hope it works out. I have a friend who is a therapist and he takes a lot about the porn addiction crisis and that recover can take at least a year. Good luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 01:05 AM
13

100% and ditto for narcissists. They defiantly will use a therapist to triangulate their partner. My first husband was a major porn addict and we went to couples counseling. The therapist basically told me that I was being over sensitive to his abuse because I had been in abusive relationships in the past and was likely projecting that onto him. Just wow. 🤡 There is no shortage of terrible therapists out there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 01:04 AM
5

I’m so sorry this happened but I’m glad you found out! I’m sure this happened to me too but I was with one of the ones who never came clean about it. So disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 04:28 AM
13

Remember, this is only off what they told you. How do you really know it was just a lap dance for the other groom? A lot of shady sh!t happens with strippers and the only ones who know are those who were actually there. That’s likely not even the full story. My first husband had strippers at his bachelor party to my vehement objections and I guarantee he cheated on me there. That marriage didn’t last more than a few years and after we got married I learned he had a MAJOR porn addiction he was hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 04:14 AM
19

This article is great. I love how they highlight the differences between men and women involuntarily celebrate cultures. It just shows how we’re so different for men and reinforces FDS principles! I was voluntarily celibate for several years until this year when I decided to try OLD in the libfem way and it backfired horribly!! I’m lucky I didn’t come out worse than I did at the end. I’ve been working to level up for a while but did a mini-level up when I found FDS (after that last horrible dati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 03:22 AM
3

These dudes will try to unload an entire lifetime of emotional bullshit onto you before the fucking door even closes. They will whine about ex's, about bosses, about girlfriends, wives, family, and friends. They will whine about the state of the world, every little thing they don't like about society, and whatever goddamn minor stupid problem is irking them at that very moment. They will punch holes in walls, scream, and demand whatever it is they want with such fervent emotion, and if you let t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 12:32 AM
27

I’ll have to check this out. I remember when she passed away and I remember being so sad about it. I didn’t know about the rest, it’ll be interesting! Thanks for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 04:56 AM
13

It does and I would love to support a show created by a woman, but, I can’t do it right now either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 04:53 AM
23

Both are true. He likely showed the nice part as a manipulation but it’s a Jekyll and Hyde. She fell in love with Jekyll but it doesn’t come without Hyde. It’s definitely what keeps victims around to see a glimpse of the man they fell in love with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 04:52 AM
10

This is exactly me! I want to do the same for my daughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 04:33 PM
3

Agree 100%. Just wanted to show data to counter the “it happens to men too!” BS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 03:43 AM
139

I would be careful with the term ‘exclusive.’ You want a commitment as BF/GF (or even better a proposal, if you’re looking for marriage) or be single. Also, wait AT LEAST three months to get out a lot of red flags for someone like a narcissist. Some of them can hold the act for a while.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 06:00 PM
117

Has female BFFs. Love bombing (ie “I’ve never felt like this with anyone before!” Or “I think you’re my soulmate!” Or “You’re the must beautiful/smartest etc I’ve ever known!” after like a few weeks) Has unresolved trauma or untreated mental health diagnosis (except cluster b personality disorders, NEVER date them!!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 03:15 PM
73

Was going to say this. This is how narcissists get you. They learn how to get into your head to abuse and manipulate you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 03:04 PM
10

I wouldn’t go. Aside from other reasons given in the comments, it’s possible she goes everywhere with him and you wouldn’t want her type as a friend. What about sports or hobbies to meet friends? Just a thought.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 02:14 AM
12

PREACH 👏 SIS👏 The patriarchy has women competing and shredding each other over LVM. These men aren’t worth it!! I hate to see this when it happens, and I’ve seen it many times. My exBFF and I had a falling out over her abusive LVM. I saw all the signs he was cheating and she decided to believe him because she communicated and confronted him. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Yet another way we’re oppressed and pitted against each other instead of being united.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 01:57 AM
1

It’s really disheartening to me (as an American) to see the way politics in the US has devolved. It’s a total sh!t show over here, and, it’s been years in the making. It’s also hard seeing how the divide is spreading to other areas of the world, like, Canada and Europe. I live in an area where there are several conservatives. I’ve learned why they voted for Trump. I don’t agree or condone it, but, I understand the reasons. I hate the way it is right now. It really worries me for my daughter. I’m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 01:17 AM
12

Loved the comparison on this weeks pod of pickmes being scabs and FDS being like union workers who are on strike. Such a good analogy! This pickme is so incoherent in her writing and thoughts because she is unable to think like FDS! Like another commenter mentioned, totally missing it. Hopefully, she’ll come around!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 12:49 AM
3

This subreddit is specifically about critiquing influences on sex and dating. As I’ve ALREADY STATED IN THIS PRIOR POST, some of you refugees from other now defunct subs keep trying to push open the sub scope to accommodate your personal agendas and let me reiterate that we are NOT interested and will lay down the banhammer if you are not here for dating. Reddit admins have laid out specific parameters for sub content and those of you intent on breaking them are exploding our moderation workload…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 11:58 PM
1

So happy you’re back!! Looking forward to the new changes! Thank you for all that you do!! ❤️💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 11:39 PM
2

I saw that go down in real time last night. Was going to thank you for that. Being a mod is a hard job (ask me how I know) and I appreciate all the mods hard work to keep this sub in order. 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 11:15 PM
19

I had no idea how much of a deadbeat Elon was until I started following this sub. Now this?! Absolutely disgusting. It truly concerns me about bringing a step-dad into my daughters life. Especially, since I have close family members who are incest survivors. 🤢🤮🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 10:38 PM
1

100% agree! I feel like it’s a tactic to get us to return by saying “Nooo way! You’re such a nice guy!” 🙋🏻‍♀️ I’ve been guilty of this in the past. On the flip side (maybe for another post) when a man tells you how he’s such a ‘nice guy’, I’ve also found that to be a total 🚩 Men who are nice don’t have to tell you how nice/fair/etc they are, they show you. I thought about this while reading the disgusting racist kink post earlier and how he claimed he wasn’t racist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 11:16 PM
33

YES, SIS!! I’ve been recovering from narcissistic relationships for a few years now and this is solid truth!! ANY ATTENTION IS SUPPLY! And a chance to manipulate you. Block and delete!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 03:25 PM
3

My first father-in-law was a miner and was the most vile man I’ve ever met. I’m over 40, so, I’ve met many men. He was a major malignant narcissist and if course his son turned into a narcissist as well. Over my strong objection, this man organized my then fiancé’s bachelor party with call-in strippers at his house in a remote location. It went on all night and I’m sure my fiancé cheated on me there. I was livid!! My 20 something year old pick me self didn’t call off the wedding like I wanted to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 04:59 AM
10

After reading this your 3rd edit is exactly what I was thinking! Here is the proof. I feel bad for her and I hope she leaves for good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 07:40 AM
7

I agree with this 100%. I started working on my level up before I found FDS (because the last long term relationship I had was truly a bottom for me) and so it fits into my life really well. I dated for less than a year lately, but, was very disappointed and am continuing to work on myself and practice FDS so that I’m ready when the time comes for me to put myself out there again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 02:42 AM
19

💯 Not only do they tolerate it, it turns women against women. Meanwhile the men sit back and benifit. Another lose/lose for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 05:22 AM
13

I’m so sorry this happened to you! That is devastating! I came here to mention the violence against pregnant women. There is even a WHO Info Sheet on it. Men expect us to prevent pregnancy and if we don’t we get abused for it. Fucking awful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 01:44 PM
16

Absolutely!! Same here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 08:39 PM
1

I agree with this. I stopped having male friends a decade ago. Looking back, any male friend I had only wanted sex, emotional support or to look good being in my company.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 08:38 PM
1

I recently dated a NVM for a few weeks. During that time he offered to buy and bring me dinner to cheer me up one day. I thought it was a nice gesture. After I broke up with him, he said I owed him money and wanted me to pay him back. 😂 Talk about validating my decision. Fuck that guy! I didn’t even respond then blocked and deleted him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 08:19 PM
7

I could’ve written this exactly. Been in therapy for the last several years breaking that cycle, and, making great progress. My daughter deserves better!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 01:31 AM
6

Hopefully, this shows up. My comments have been getting removed since I’m new and don’t have flair yet but you can turn off receiving PMs or block individuals from this link.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 12:46 AM
2

I very much appreciate this approach. A few years ago, I had a falling out with my best friend of over a decade because of her abusive relationship. If I can give it, I must be able to take it. I’ve also spent the last several years working on myself, so, it’s welcome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 12:33 AM
3

This is so great to read. Every past long term relationship I’ve been in was emotionally and psychologically abusive, even physically at times. I’ve been in therapy for close to 4 years working on this and single that whole time until recently. I dated a LVM recently for about 6 weeks before finding this sub and dumped him a few days later. I’m fully on board with FDS now and I truly believe it helped me (+therapy) to not get involved in the same pattern. Healing is so important and I’m glad we …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 05:06 PM
32

Gonorrhea has become increasingly antibiotic resistant in recent years. The current treatment is a high dose of the last type of antibiotic available that works. Scary shit. Look it up on the CDC web site. I’m so done with casual sex!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 03:30 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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