Alternative-Card-270 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
4	Any Personal Experience		Alternative-Card-270	/r/Divorce_Men	03/09/24 07:17 PM
2	Custody Question		Alternative-Card-270	/r/Divorce_Men	15/05/24 01:51 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	I came out I understand what you are saying, but at this point it does seem you are downplaying it. You are talking about your feelings like they should be as important as hers now. In reality, you are the one who messed up, so after you got your happy peace of getting to live the life you want to live, the focus should be on her and the life she has been cheated on and having to start over. You are looking through it with the wrong lens. It’s not 50/50 you are moving towards a decision/choice/life you wan…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/11/24 01:33 AM
6	I came out Yes, but what you are failing to realize is those “good times” you speak of aren’t the same to her anymore. As someone whose wife did something eerily similar coming out as bi and wanting to swing and get with girls etc. It’s a fundamental lie. It messes and will always mess with your partner’s head. In some ways it’s like getting mentally and emotionally abused and the impact that this has on someone’s life will last forever. Maybe it gets better sure, but it never goes away. I’m 3 years post s…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/11/24 03:01 PM
3	Wife agreed on 50/50 visitation and backed out This is a tough one. I’m in a similar situation in some ways. I wanted full custody of our daughter and she signed it over to me and agreed on everything in the contract. Now she is coming back after running off on her “go find myself” experiment and realizing she made a huge mistake. Keep in mind that I have actually allowed her to have 50/50 time with our daughter but just wanted the full custody in case she were to move or something in the future so our daughter was not subject to her brash a…	/r/Divorce_Men	15/11/24 03:30 PM
3	How did you know it was time for divorce? For me it was when my ex wife decided that she didn’t want to do anything or help out and turned towards being the most selfish person ever. She would claim postpartum which I do believe in and supported for a whole year where I let her travel for work and sleep in, and I did all of the chores around the house and loved on her constantly. My payment back was to be cheated on while I literally was watching our child so she could travel for work. She then proceeded to blame me in how I was not sup…	/r/Divorce_Men	28/10/24 05:43 PM
1	Any Personal Experience I would say there wasn’t really a status quo on religion because we moved together during Covid and didn’t go to any services when our daughter was born during Covid, so I would say half her life she has done church and half she hasn’t. She is 4 years old. From what I’ve read usually they side with the just continue to do as you are unless proven that the religion is hurtful to the child which it’s not.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/09/24 02:17 AM
2	Any Personal Experience Good to know. So she isn’t religious at all and kind of hates the church because of a bad experience she had, so she just assumes all church is bad. And she recently came out as bisexual so I think that maybe adds to the fire. She is trying to get me to go to a different church when I have my daughter, but I don’t want to do that. Even though I have primary like I said I’m nice and let it be 50/50 as much as possible, but I have built a community so I really don’t want to change just to appease …	/r/Divorce_Men	03/09/24 09:46 PM
1	Any Personal Experience Good to know, I didn’t even think of this. Maybe she does have those motives. She comes from a pretty well off family though while I’ve clawed for every penny I have. I do make about $50k more than her though that said.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/09/24 09:42 PM
1	Custody Question Well I have full primary custody now. We would meet in the middle, so it would only be 4 hours round trip for each of us but I see your point. The current way this would work is only for a year until the ex moves to ATL after she wraps some things up. For context, my daughter is about to turn 4, so she will just be starting Pre-K, so I don’t know about the school stuff if that still matters because she hasn’t really started school.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/05/24 01:46 PM
1	Custody Question Yes, but in our divorce agreement we had provisions for me moving that she signed.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/05/24 11:57 AM
1	Custody Question That’s okay I mean it’s only 4 hours away so not too far. I figured we would just meet in the middle. Main thing is I just don’t want to lose the primary physical even though I’m following our agreement.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/05/24 02:02 AM
2	Just need to vent Sorry to hear than man. It’s just very difficult sometimes because some people aren’t marriage or long term relationship people. I’ve figured this out as I’ve been more vigilant recently. Problem is a lot of people think they are when they really aren’t. My advice look at all of the little red flags that pop up and see if they stack on top of each other for patterns next time you choose. My ex showed some really troubling patterns I wish I would have paid attention to before. She was a quitter a…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/05/24 04:09 PM
5	Just need to vent Hey man, keep your head up! Your situation seems a lot like mine. My ex told me things like she didn’t feel “happy” or “desired” when she was with me. We were together a total of 10 years, but she too made excuses for her behavior and for reasons to not to be together. I got the old “sometimes we grow apart speech” I know it hurts man, but you need to hang in there. I think it helped me once I realized some people are meant for marriage and long term commitment and some people view relationships…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/05/24 11:43 AM
1	Does anyone else think alimony is BS? In my opinion, I think it’s only valid if your wife stayed home to raise the kids or you agreed to your wife being a stay at home wife because if they did not work for a ton of years, then nobody will hire them for decent pay. However, having said that, if it’s an at fault divorce on the woman’s part, then that should be voided. Alimony should only be gifted if the wife hasn’t worked for good reason or if the man has been at fault, even then it would depend at what fault. When you are at fault i…	/r/Divorce_Men	15/05/23 02:04 PM
2	How many of your all’s marriages were savable? But your wife refused to work with you. Mine right here. A new friend came into the picture in March that was divorced. My wife became good friends with her. 4 months later out of nowhere asks to get separated without ever bringing up any issues. Then she now has caused another friend of hers to get divorced as she no doubt hyped it up herself. Now we are in the phase where she says “I’m afraid there is too much hurt for us to repair it” even though throughout most of the divorce I’ve listened, supported, never yelled or got mad at he…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/23 10:19 PM
3	Anyone else’s wife lose her mind after kids? Yep another one here where my wife changed dramatically after birth of our first. She begged for it, and I was indifferent. I wanted a kid but could have waited a few years. Fast forward after the birth and about half a year or so in she continued to get more apathetic about everything unless it was something for her. Didn’t care to do much physically, I did all the giving, she slept in while I did the childcare on weekend mornings, I supported her first big girl job by letting her travel 2 week…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/23 01:22 PM
6	Everywhere I look Haha couldn’t agree more but here goes the saying women always date up because men enable it and see more than just someone’s resume and physical looks. men marry down because women won’t date down. I haven’t seen the show fully but I do know they villainize the husband even though he is a good guy, not perfect but good and then glorify her cheating, leaving her family, and everything else. The modern US woman is just toxic. Too easily manipulated by social media, Instagram, and the feminism mov…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/04/23 07:43 PM
2	Everywhere I look While I agree with this that it happens both ways. I tend to know women who do this more. It’s everywhere and the stats prove it. Women are more unfulfilled, complicated, and have unrealistic standards. Not all of course. There are tons of great women. I’m just saying toxic men vs toxic women. Men are just asshole and violent which is bad, but women just kind of up and leave more for no real reason other than they aren’t happy in that moment. Instant gratification has proven to be death to marri…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/04/23 05:59 PM
7	Everywhere I look But maybe that’s the answer. Men need to raise their standards and women lower theirs and meet in the middle. Men are too easily manipulated through sex and just like she’s hot so I’ll do whatever. Need to look for more depth and someone bringing more to the table while women need a reality check and real life men and how it’s impossible for someone to check off every box and have 0 flaws	/r/Divorce_Men	30/04/23 05:06 PM
8	Everywhere I look You are 100% right and the comment made by tragic addiction is probably the most accurate thing I have ever read. Here is the problem with modern marriage/dating. Women want to get rid of the traditional women gender roles while subjecting men to those traditional standards. For example: 1.) Men must pay for all dates, financially provide, make more money than the woman, be extremely fit. These are the typical roles we are expected. 2.) Women have dropped cooking, cleaning, childcare, and loyalt…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/04/23 04:59 PM