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AntiVictimhood Archive

View 1 posts and 225 comments by AntiVictimhood on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Yeah I mean Pearl is very new to the RP. Brittany Venti did a response video to her which is pretty informative. Pearl has been on YouTube for years and used to do content with her family. It seems like she pivoted to Red Pill after having frustrations with dating and having a hard time finding a man. It seems like a niche that wasn't occupied by many people before, so she saw an opportunity to make money and took it. I don't personally think she believes 99% of what she says. Kidology did a gre…
/r/ExRedPill28/11/23 06:38 PM
3

Yeah. I un-pilled 2 male friends unknowingly. And they both ended up leaving RP because our friendship was the/a catalyst. I was sort of living proof that the ideas within RP were shit and couldn't be applied to women with broad strokes. Additionally, I didn't ever attack them for liking the creators they were into, and I didn't overtly judge the fact that they had some misogynistic beliefs. I would approach our disagreements with genuine curiosity, because I really wanted to figure out why they…
/r/ExRedPill29/10/23 02:26 AM
5

Is your gf a 10/10 in every single way? Probably not, but you love her nonetheless and are committed to her. A big penis means very little and is not significant for the majority of women. It's truly something men seem to care way more about than women. An anatomy fact you may not know that my partner didn't previously know, is that just as penis length and girth varies, so too do women's vaginal depths! And for some women, big penises hurt and are never pleasurable because the woman has a shall…
/r/ExRedPill24/10/23 06:55 PM
5

Not really but it depends what content of his your bf likes. If your bf is a fan of JP's unhinged Twitter and the humiliation porn that some fans make of his debates, then could be concerning. If he primarily likes his books and lectures, you should be fine. JP usually does his own thing. He was a professor of mine back in undergrad while he was still teaching. And it's always been his thing to explore some unusual ideas and taboo perspectives. He was obsessed (for a while) with the question of …
/r/ExRedPill29/09/23 11:53 PM
1

Well I disagree with the first part of this. As a woman, in my youth I have absolutely posted photos with the sole intention of garnering the attention of a particular man. And I know many women who also post promiscuous photos because they love the attention and the feeling of being desired. It is what it is. It's a motive for some people and we don't have to play pretend and act as though that plays zero role in someone's choice to post their ass online. And for onlyfans girls, of course they'…
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 06:29 PM
1

Also, there's tons of average women making thousands a week. By average woman, do you mean average OF creator? Because the average earnings of OF creators are $180/month. Or do you mean average looking since you reference VS models? There is an incentive for OF girls to try and sell the lifestyle to others so they sign up using their affiliate code and then profit off of other girls indefinitely. As stated, given that this structure exists there are people who exploit it and exaggerate their ear…
/r/ExRedPill06/08/23 09:14 PM
3

I think the only truth to this is that older men tend to have more money and resources which is important for women who are wanting a bigger family and a more traditional life. And as a woman, if you're looking to start a family and want to be a SAHM with your children when they're young, it's remarkably hard to do this in this day and age given the cost of everything. So for women who really want that kind of life, the advantage to dating a bit older (aprox. 5-10 years) is that older men are mo…
/r/ExRedPill01/08/23 04:09 PM
3

100% agree with you. OP shouldn't be shaming people's reasoning for getting into fitness.
/r/ExRedPill31/07/23 03:18 PM
2

Agree. Any reason for getting into fitness and developing strength is a good reason because it's a gateway to better overall health and fitness. Which imo shouldn't be deterred or shamed. There is no "right" or "wrong" reason for wanting to get more fit and healthy.
/r/ExRedPill31/07/23 03:15 PM
3

What are the "right reasons"? And why do you feel as though you have insight and authority to speak to the "right" and "wrong" reasons for going to the gym? The dudes that are jacked aren’t doing this for girls People usually have a multitude of reasons for going to the gym. Whatever gets them interested in fitness is "good" imo. Being fit, healthy and strong is valuable in and of itself. Whether the reasoning for getting started is shallow or not. My ex is a bodybuilder and when he was getting …
/r/ExRedPill31/07/23 03:14 PM
7

I have a different view of OF than other forms of SW- like stripping. The internet is forever. Putting your nude images online is a bad idea. You'll only be able to profit off your body for a period of time, after that you'll need to figure something else out. Having a documented past of SW can be a liability and dealbreaker to getting into certain industries/professions. OF is literally a pyramid scheme. Girls can share their codes and when people sign up with their code, they get a percentage …
/r/ExRedPill24/07/23 03:12 PM
3

I agree, I think the only issue is that you didn't define these qualities/behaviours. And I've noticed there is quite a big discrepancy in how some people understand these concepts. For example, A man teaching others respect and self control Yes, through embodying these qualities and when asked, sharing his strategies of maintaining self control. Emulating respectable qualities and being a positive male role model by example. The less virtuous and "toxic" version of this is a man asserting that …
/r/ExRedPill14/07/23 03:53 PM
19

I think they hate stepfathers because the fact that women who have children from a past relationship still have success in dating and love is evidence that their claims are wrong. The existence of these couples shows that their universal claims about men and women are incorrect, so it diminishes the validity of their community. As for calling step fathers "beta cucks" etc., it's really just similar to any ideological community. Take Christianity, there are the people going to heaven and those go…
/r/ExRedPill30/06/23 01:37 PM
2

We straight men aren't good at evaluating other men's attractiveness [...] this is why we use a man's body count as a proxy for his attractiveness. So then the RP advice to sleep with 50+ women is not in fact to become a better partner romantically and sexually, but rather to signal to other straight men that you appeal to women?? One again, RP men are more interested in gaining status among other men by having a high body count than having good sex and being in strong relationships with women. …
/r/ExRedPill08/06/23 08:39 PM
4

To your entire first paragraph, people have a variety of motivations for sleeping with a high number of people. But the reasoning doesn't alter the outcome. Whether you hookup with 100 people because you're super horny, enjoy the validation, feel a strong connection, are drunk, are trying to gain experience, are having a hoe phase etc. it doesn't matter. At the end of the day, a high body count is a high body count. No matter why or how you got there. And for men and women, a high body count doe…
/r/ExRedPill08/06/23 04:03 PM
6

I just think it's funny to try and argue that intercourse with a variety of different people is somehow correlated to better skills in maintaining a loving and healthy relationship. I'd say being in a LTR, having great friendships, good relationships with your family, experience navigating interpersonal conflict and recovering from said conflict are better determinants of being a good partner than how many people you've slept with. Additionally, I will also argue that lots of sex with one person…
/r/ExRedPill07/06/23 06:16 PM
19

I believe that this notion of high body count=cannot commit is a projection. Because you see a lot of the RP men saying they want to be able to cheat and have a one sided open relationship. Which to me indicates that these "high value men" cannot practice loyalty and discipline. And they wrongly assume that if a woman slept with a number of people in the past that that by necessity indicates she too lacks the discipline and loyalty today. These men want women to abide by a set of values and beha…
/r/ExRedPill30/05/23 05:44 PM
30

I don't think it'll die, but I think it is fading and losing some people who previously associated with the community. Aba and Preach released a video recently showing some of the internal disagreement within RP creators. Sneako was on F&F and he was making fun of Rollo Tomassi's tweet about the top ways to become a high value man. AND Sneako was also calling out F&F for their hypocrisy of telling women that sleeping around is looked down on, but then the men turn around and totally lack discipl…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/23 11:02 AM
1

I'm sorry to hear that. That sounds awful. The effects of bullying can last a lifetime, but I do hope you can find a way to work through those triggers. Especially if its one of the things standing in the way between you and a chance at deeper friendships.
/r/ExRedPill29/04/23 05:18 AM
4

About the same- 3 close girl friends. And then I have a range of male and female acquaintances who I wouldn't consider "close" friends. One of my previous best friends was a lesbian but she had to end our friendship because of her attraction towards me.
/r/ExRedPill27/04/23 08:32 PM
5

I get that some men will feel that way, but at the same time it is the responsibility of every person to cultivate and seek out the kind of dynamics that they want. Even if it's uncommon. It is personally a huge challenge and outside my comfort zone to be emotionally vulnerable with people, but it's something I'd had to work on to have deeper connections with friends. And just because some dynamic falls outside the norm doesn't mean it's impossible. You just need to sift through people until you…
/r/ExRedPill27/04/23 03:05 PM
5

I know what you mean and that was implied in your response. Of my 4 close male friends, only 1 of them is gay.
/r/ExRedPill27/04/23 02:54 PM
4

Personally I disagree. I have great friendships with my male friends. That said, not every man makes for a good friend. It's absolutely possible and I have several long standing male friends who I am close with. But some men will be disrespectful of friendship boundaries or don't seem to know how to be friends with a woman. All of my true male friendships have just as much depth as my female friendships, but that's because both parties genuinely want a friendship and a lack of romantic/physical …
/r/ExRedPill27/04/23 02:30 PM
16

Why does it seem to be that way ? I can only speak to my experience, and I'm really not trying to shit on men. In sum, these are my thoughts, Men attribute other failings in their life to the fact that they're single. Men have shallow relationships with other men so being single hits harder for men because women have more intimate and fulfilling friendships (on average) that make being single tolerable/fun. Men don't get involved in their communities as much as women do. ​ As someone who has mor…
/r/ExRedPill27/04/23 01:28 AM
1

So technically speaking, your current relationship is pretty much still male-based and male-dominant isn't it? He takes a more important role financially and he leads the relationship (taxes, appointments etc.). Actually not really. In terms of finances yes, but I could easily contribute equally, he prefers to pay for more however. When we get married as mentioned, our incomes will be combined. Overall we function more like a team and aside from finances and cooking which are evidently imbalance…
/r/ExRedPill19/04/23 01:39 AM
1

Well my relationship with my partner is like a 50/50 relationship but 100x better than that dynamic in my opinion. It's more of a 100/100 relationship. Both my partner and I are employed and make a really solid combined income. He earns about 30% more than me. But we are very different people, both very romantic. I make up homemade meals every night, pack his lunch for work, make him baked goods that he enjoys. I plan dates for us. And he also puts in the same level of effort- he plans dates and…
/r/ExRedPill18/04/23 03:30 PM
1

But the problem here is—hypergamy. At least, that's from TRP's point of view. Average women don't want to pair with average men Same is true for men. I find men always expect to and want to "date up" in terms of looks. They go for women who are physically out of their league. Men in my experience care less about a woman's income, but they definitely try and date up and go for women who are much better looking than them. You are basing people's choices completely on a rational standpoint—that we …
/r/ExRedPill18/04/23 02:18 PM
1

But that's the confusing part, to seek out a career woman and then try and force/coerce her to submit to being a SAHM/SAHW rather than pairing with women who may earn below average income but who also want to have a traditional dynamic. Because in between broke moochers and ambitious career women are the regular women, some of whom would be more than happy to be a SAHM. Why not go for those women? I take issue with people who seek out relationships with people who they want to change. It's the s…
/r/ExRedPill18/04/23 02:38 AM
2

In moderation yes, these standards can be realistic. I don't find this list totally outrageous. It is a simplification and imo could be used as a shorthand for men who lack dating experience and are totally naive about the red flags to be aware of when dating. Single moms: I wouldn't date a man who had a child. Being a step parent is incredibly challenging, the person will almost always have some degree of contact with the child's other parent- and this can also create a ton of friction. I do se…
/r/ExRedPill17/04/23 03:44 PM
3

The reality of therapy is that there are many approaches to counselling, and it's beneficial to do some research on the different approaches and seek out a therapist who practices a style of counselling that you think would be beneficial. Additionally, there are many terrible and incompetent therapists, and there are many therapists who experience burnout and become numb/ indifferent. Particularly those employed by a large organization who have a big case load and limited energy. My best friend …
/r/ExRedPill14/04/23 02:58 PM
2

Everyone is and should be responsible for expressing their emotions in a healthy way and learning to self regulate to the best of their abilities. Control doesn't mean suppress, deny, ignore or numb oneself to emotions. Controlling emotions means not letting your feelings have control over your actions. Control means finding healthy ways to express feeling that doesn't come at the cost of another person's wellbeing and safety. And this applies to men and women. You can feel anger and choose to s…
/r/ExRedPill21/03/23 07:35 PM
3

Exactly. And they often love their moms and many RP creators openly admit to that. They hate "modern women" and don't include their moms and grandmothers in that category. Which allows them to shit on women by arbitrarily framing their mom as sufficiently different from the "modern women" that deserve hatred and criticism. It's really just a mechanism to avert cognitive dissonance by thinking "modern women suck but my mom isn't like that, she's the exception". It allows them to continue adopting…
/r/ExRedPill06/03/23 03:37 PM
2

No they don't all hate their mothers, nor do they all or mostly have absent/abusive/ neglectful mothers. They see mothers and women in their family as the exception to their worldview. These women fall outside the broad categories. It's like people who can be racist towards a group but be good friends with someone of that race. They see their friend as the "exception". But having a friend from that race doesn't mean they're not generally racist. Additionally, a lot of RP creators hate on the "mo…
/r/ExRedPill06/03/23 03:31 PM
1

Well this is the woman you chose to be with. If you no longer want to be with her and she's as terrible as you say, unchoose that choice. Also, I'd encourage you to evaluate your motives. You say you "run laps around her", but by the sounds of it you only do these things in the hopes of trying to stimulate reciprocity, not because you love her and want to be good to her. Actions that are motivated by creating a desire outcome are manipulative. It's a tit for tat relationship. Why not discuss you…
/r/ExRedPill18/02/23 04:06 PM
2

Tbh I don’t know if women my age actually value these things or just love to fantasize about it. I was 23 when I met my ex so for me, I wanted all of those things- love, a real meaningful bond, authentic connection- and didn't care about anything material and I wasn't thinking about what I could gain materially from a relationship. Age plays a role for sure, and when people are young it's hard to really know what you want when you yourself are not established in many ways. I'm curious about wher…
/r/ExRedPill18/02/23 05:21 AM
2

Game I think genuine confidence/charisma can and does attract people. People like those who are outgoing and who can convey a genuine sense of confidence. I think people have a gripe about conflating "game" with genuine charisma. "Game" just seems incredibly manipulative and disingenuous. But I don't think it's correct for people to claim that being charismatic has no positive affect on your dating. But if people can switch jobs for better perks and higher pay then what makes you think that wome…
/r/ExRedPill17/02/23 05:33 PM
1

With my boyfriend I actually didn't notice him, he just approached me. Apparently he'd seen me at the gym many times but I hadn't noticed him based on appearance alone. He's a good looking guy, but I don't think I would have swiped "yes" if I came across him on Tinder (I don't use dating apps though). His presence, voice, and sense of humour really contribute to my attraction towards him. Again, if your goal is dating then approaching in person is probably a better approach to dating. Additional…
/r/ExRedPill13/01/23 02:03 PM
1

In the summer it's 50/50 with catcalling versus being asked out or having men flirt with me. In the colder months when I am wearing a big coat I definitely get asked out more and rarely get catcalled on the street. When I was in school and going to bars and parties regularly, I'd say about 20-30 times a week I'd get approached. Now that I'm 28, work from home, in a relationship, and go out a lot less it's about 1-2 times a week I'll get hit on. Usually at the gym or stopped on the street. And fu…
/r/ExRedPill13/01/23 04:12 AM
1

I was a huge Elliott Hulse fan since the age of 14. I found him to be such an inspiration to me. And honestly I still adore his old content and will rewatch it from time to time. He used to be all about philosophy, strength, the wisdom of the body, self discipline, and he gave such good empowering no-nonsense advice. I'm an extremely logical and independent person so his messages resonated with me a lot and he really spoke my language in a way no one else did when I was younger. I'm a woman, but…
/r/ExRedPill12/01/23 04:21 PM
3

Manson claims women are not that different as they rarely receive non-pushy polite advances , that they only receive catcalling and harassment so it makes you stand out to approach one politely Firstly, this is not true in my experience. Being polite is very standard where I'm from. Politeness does not stand out. The times that have been "stand out" experiences to me is when the man was 100% perceptive of my body language and proceeded accordingly. The only time men have approached in a "pushy" …
/r/ExRedPill12/01/23 01:25 PM
4

Do you think a guy should do that? Is cold approaching a valid strategy in dating? Is it right? As a woman, I hate being randomly approached when I'm very clearly doing something or not in a social environment. If I'm at a bar, sitting in Starbucks, or hanging out in a social setting then I don't mind. However it's annoying af when I'm walking down the street on my way to work, or I'm in the middle of a workout and a guy thinks it's a great opportunity to talk to me. I really dislike being inter…
/r/ExRedPill11/01/23 08:37 PM
1

First question I'd ask her is what she means by that? How does she define feminism? What has led her to change her mind on the matter? And what has prompted her to declare herself a "sexist"? People have so many varying definitions for these buzzwords that often deviate substantially from the original core definition. I've heard people say they're anti-feminist but they just mean that the current pressures on women to do it all are counterproductive to society and women's wellbeing when women ar…
/r/ExRedPill11/01/23 02:32 PM
1

How to stop associating worth with validation? Get really good at something and do it consistently. Building confidence and skill in one or several domains is a really bullet proof way to develop self worth. Be of use to others or have skills that you admire. What I did was looked to the people I admired, assessed the qualities they had that I looked up to. And over the last decade I've worked to build those traits in myself. I also have a number of skills that I can continue to work on that mak…
/r/ExRedPill09/01/23 05:05 PM
1

Women have so many: genitals, ass, thighs, boobs, stomach, I mean almost literally every part o their body is sexually attractive while not a single one of mine is For starters, you only think this way because you're a straight man! I'm a straight woman, and I don't find women sexually attractive at all. I exclusively find men sexually attractive. I love big thighs on a man, nice hands, hairy chest, facial hair, defined arms etc. I'm extremely attracted to my male partner to a commensurate exten…
/r/ExRedPill07/12/22 02:50 PM
4

Firstly, no. I prefer men who are not that lean. Everyone's preferences vary, but my bf is "thick" and far from a 6-pack and that's what I'm attracted to. I've never been attracted to very lean 6% body fat men. Secondly, there are so many ways to be fit and active, and to actually reap benefits from exercise outside of being in good shape. Working out can be extremely fun and enjoyable, and it can really elevate your mood. I'd suggest finding a workout that you actually enjoy doing and that does…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/22 03:28 PM
3

I feel like they don't second guess what they're saying. 100%. They just say shit. It's very stream of consciousness raw feelings. Which can be interesting to watch from one standpoint, but it can definitely be harmful. I don't think most of them second guess what they say or what their initial impulse is. I think since these people end up getting an audience predominantly of followers who give them positive feedback, they feel justified in their views/feelings and just run with it. And I think …
/r/ExRedPill28/11/22 01:40 PM
5

Gerbert Johnson I find him to be a kid sorting through his own experiences and relying on existing lenses to interpret his life. He's still so extremely young. I enjoy his more candid channel Gerbert's void, but I just see him as a misguided kid but a smart guy who will likely grow up a lot. I'm excited to see how he changes over the years. Now he's RP adjacent, but I think with time and experience he'll find his own footing and rely less on RP concepts. But if you feel bad/in a worse place afte…
/r/ExRedPill28/11/22 05:00 AM
2

Dude stop with this bullshit. You don't know me. I was born into a working class family and paid my way through literally everything. I had and have zero financial supports outside of myself. The life I have now is a life of my own creation. No one helped me get here.
/r/ExRedPill19/11/22 04:31 AM
3

There still has to be the initial attraction before anyone gets to learn about your financial status. Totally agree. There does need to be an initial attraction and money/other assets cannot replace that. However, finances matter more when considering long term prospects imo. If you're a woman who wants a family and who wants to raise the kids before they can attend school- you need a man who both wants that and can provide for a family. The initial attraction may be there, but if he couldn't su…
/r/ExRedPill17/11/22 09:30 PM
21

There is not really a blueprint to this. It's something you should feel out and do your best to pay attention to the body language of the person you're on a date with. If they're leaning in, initiating some casual touching, making eye contact and seem receptive, then you can go ahead. That may happen on date 1 or date 10. It depends on their preferences and your dynamic. If in doubt, just ask "would you be okay if I kissed you?". As for intimacy, this varies so much. I'd also have that discussio…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/22 06:56 PM
1

Idk. I think people really underestimate the destructive power of women since gender stereotypes paint women as the delicate sex who is more compassionate, motherly, caring etc. so we're less willing/able to acknowledge their hatred of men. Or maybe people believe women are ultimately powerless/won't act on their dislike of men since violence is a man thing (based on data of violent crime). Maybe people deem women's hatred of men to be more inconsequential and less likely to result in real-world…
/r/ExRedPill14/10/22 12:20 PM
15

I don't hate MGTOW. I truthfully don't mind when people voice their clear hatred of the other sex, because it just informs me who to avoid. I kinda like people who are somewhat vocal in their biases and preferences because it makes sorting them out of my life easier. But I agree that the MGTOW discourse is so f'n obsessed with women! If they talked about the virtues and values of solitude, finding community with other men, or how they've found fulfilment without a partner then I'd be all for tha…
/r/ExRedPill13/10/22 01:56 PM
2

You need better training in methodology and research design.
/r/ExRedPill10/10/22 03:30 PM
6

I don't think anyone came up with it, I think it was accurately observed in enough contexts, and then became a stereotype used in media to solidify the idea. In my youth, I was never attracted to "douchebags", but I kinda was. But it was because the men who were douchy were usually extremely confident, funny and outgoing, easy to talk to and made me feel comfortable, decisive, comfortable in their own skin, and were not riddled with insecurities that in turn amplified my own. My first crush real…
/r/ExRedPill07/10/22 12:36 PM
1

In my experience, the only way to boost self esteem is to develop competence. You listed a lot of areas where you feel like you fall short relative to the expectations of women, but that higher self esteem can come from doing/excelling in things that are intrinsically valuable and that make you feel better aligned with your goals/values. For example, my self esteem really improved with a consistent fitness routine. My weight stayed basically the same, but I felt sooo much better about myself bec…
/r/ExRedPill06/10/22 04:44 PM
3

I was actually talking to my Aunt about this. She is about 60 and has been divorced for 25 years and doesn't have kids, she has a successful career as a musician, she travels when she wants, she has a ton of friends, she takes college courses for fun... And she was saying that marriage and relationships are just not right for all women. She never dates and has no interest in romantic relationships. And she's always stressed that fulfilment doesn't come from another person, and that you can have …
/r/ExRedPill28/09/22 11:55 AM
2

This is true for both sexes. The more attractive a person is (independent of sex), the broader their dating prospects will be. And I'd argue there is more pressure on women to be physically beautiful, and more pressure on men to be financially stable when it comes to their ability to attract partners. But irl, I see a ton of objectively ugly people having kids and holding the hand of their partners, so while being unattractive does inevitably reduce a person's romantic prospects, it doesn't bar …
/r/ExRedPill27/09/22 04:33 PM
1

I'm not disagreeing. Just explaining the arguments I've heard.
/r/ExRedPill27/09/22 03:09 AM
7

Firstly, men do not have a monopoly on loneliness, nor are the highest rates of loneliness concentrates among men as a broad category. Elderly people, people with disabilities, immigrants who are not fully fluent in the country's dominant language, teenagers, homeless people, those living in institutions etc. have higher reported rates of loneliness. With screens mediating an increasing and significant proportion of interactions, people in general are feelings more isolated. We have fewer friend…
/r/ExRedPill26/09/22 06:22 PM
1

The more you learn about RP the more you see a multitude of contradictions within the philosophy. I think my reasoning for the fertility point does deviate from the ways RP uses it. Fertility in RP is usually used to (a) explain men's preference for dating younger women, and (b) as a metric to evaluate women's "value". To expand. Firstly, youth and fertility are discussed in RP largely in reference to a woman's "value". If she is young and fertile, she will be attractive to a larger pool of "hig…
/r/ExRedPill26/09/22 06:03 PM
0

If men are really serious about finding partners I think you're failing to consider that people look for different things, and there are different approaches to finding a life partner. Additionally, I don't actually see a big emphasis in RP about finding a partner, it's often about attracting women and having sexual partners. Monogamous long term relationships are not an esteemed goal in RP lore. why is there such an emphasis on younger women having higher value? According to RP, it's due to fer…
/r/ExRedPill26/09/22 01:59 PM
2

I have never had a misandrist female friend. However I have had female friends who openly express and feel misogynistic sentiments. I still fall into that category in my weaker moments. I have had a friend utter the words "men are trash", which was hyperbole to express her experience with cheating men and consequent experience with men who she met on apps lying about their life. To that I replied I was sorry she felt that way and hoped she finds someone as loving and honest as my bf to renew her…
/r/ExRedPill12/09/22 07:14 PM
1

I guess the context I forgot to include is that the exclusivity was strongly implied by him. He asked me to delete all of my dating apps, to cut off the men I'd been previously talking to, and to focus on "us". He had full access to my phone and occasionally asked to see my messages and DMs to make sure I wasn't being flirty with other men or talking to anyone else. He expected total exclusivity from me. So when he hooked up with someone else, it shocked me. And he also never communicated this s…
/r/ExRedPill10/09/22 03:27 PM
3

Account created today, this is your only post. Okay buddy!
/r/ExRedPill07/09/22 06:38 PM
1

Yeah or the other possibility is that since the age group measured and reported on is 25-54, maybe the women in that group are pairing with men over the age of 54 and consequently those men fall into another demographic? Since 98% of age gap relationships that exceed a decade have an older man and younger woman, that was my other guess. That some percentage of the ladies between 25-54 are dating men over 54 who are captured in the next age grouping.
/r/ExRedPill18/08/22 04:47 PM
5

Yeah people will do that to justify their actions and feel less shitty about the wrongs they're committing. Instead of taking accountability for their own actions they play up their group identity to try and share the blame, reduce accountability, and make you feel ridiculous for even trying to hold them accountable. They make attempts to appeal to the idea that "others do this so I can too". It's like when RP guys say that men should be allowed to cheat on their partners because men naturally d…
/r/ExRedPill18/08/22 04:44 PM
27

Yeah I get that. Dating an emotionally and physically abusive male narc made me despise and fear men for quite a while. Took a lot to regain any semblance of trust and stop thinking that every word out of a man's mouth was a manipulation or lie. I hope you find ways to heal because bad relationships can truly be so traumatizing and mess with your perception of reality. Wishing you the best.
/r/ExRedPill18/08/22 01:59 PM
2

But the data is about who is currently partnered when they were surveyed. Not who has been married and divorced. Trump wasn't married to three women simultaneously. They were either single or in relationships with other men- consequently taking 2 men out of "single" status if both Trump's future/past wives were with other men at the time. Additionally, the gender gap in remarriage isn't really that significant (I guess that depends on what one considers significant though). Men are on average 10…
/r/ExRedPill18/08/22 01:23 PM
2

But the study is about being partnered, not just going on dates. I do think it's true that a relatively smaller portion of men date more women if they're better looking, more confident, and are comfortable approaching women. But that disparity in dating success is different than being in a relationship. One dude might date 5 women, but he's not in a pair-bonded monogamous relationship with 5 women. And since this study is talking about being single (you can still be single and go on dates), I'm …
/r/ExRedPill17/08/22 05:16 PM
10

My firs thought, where is the evidence? He's making assertions but failing to support the bulk of his claims. This guy has a TikTok live show where women vent about their dating challenges. Is that his data set? I'm confused where he's pulling this data from. His first link to the Pew Research states that "The growth in the single population is driven mainly by the decline in marriage among adults who are at prime working age." So it's not that men have shitty mental health, it's that people are…
/r/ExRedPill17/08/22 03:46 PM
2

100%
/r/ExRedPill16/08/22 01:10 AM
5

Please, do tell me more about my own relationship
/r/ExRedPill16/08/22 01:09 AM
97

People say the bar is on the floor for men in regards to what makes them attractive and gets them interest from women. This isn't the way I hear it used or intended. I hear it in the sense that men get into relationships and then treat their partners like their mothers. They expect their partners to cook, clean, do all the chores, do this laundry, organize their life, financially contribute, do the emotional labour etc. and the guys basically show up and stop being romantic, stop making their pa…
/r/ExRedPill15/08/22 01:45 PM
14

Dude, life is expensive. If you have resolved to be a broke man with no future, focus on that and working on that situation. Don't worry about women right now if you're too broke to take care of yourself. You don't sound like you're in a good headspace to date anyways. Work on yourself and then your perspective on dating will likely change. Until then, don't worry about women and what you imagine they all want and need.
/r/ExRedPill09/08/22 10:56 PM
4

Dating only gets "harder" in the sense that your pool of options narrows as people within your age range get married and there are simply fewer single people than when you start dating in your teens/early 20s. Most people get into long term relationships by 30, so there are kinda just fewer options in that sense. When I was 19, everyone I knew was single. By 27, 90% of my friends are in long term relationships. As for aging, yeah getting older will make you look older. If your concerned about ho…
/r/ExRedPill09/08/22 03:06 AM
1

What a weird question. Would you talk to your kids about your sex life? I'd hope not for the simple fact of having healthy boundaries with your children. And settle for a beta? Who? When? Go worry about yourself, man!
/r/ExRedPill03/08/22 01:01 PM
20

That women are hypergamous and cheaters. And if your partner had the chance to have sex with a more attractive/higher status man, she would. That was always hilarious to me because virtually all of the studies I've read shows that men cheat at higher rates than women in their relationships. So this notion that women cannot be loyal due to their biology is just comical. Additionally, the saying "alpha fucks beta bucks" is also really interesting to me. This world where women are just hooking up a…
/r/ExRedPill01/08/22 01:01 PM
4

Imho, the reasons that men are drawn to RP is for valid reasons. They feel rejected or they genuinely are rejected. They see average looking women have success in dating and they feel envious because women are pickier. They swipe through tinder and only get a handful of matches and it makes them feel insecure and unlovable. They compare themselves to other men and see these glaring inadequacies and want to feel confident in themselves. They face real and perceived barriers to success that societ…
/r/ExRedPill28/07/22 03:24 PM
27

don't remain friends if you're just doing it under the guise of trying to make her change her mind" I agree with this. If your sole motive for continuing contact with someone is in the hopes of persuading them to date you, this is both manipulative and frustrating. It'll leave you feeling dissatisfied, and leave her feeling lied to if the only reason you interacted with her was in the hopes of dating/having some kind of romantic connection. So how does this happen? Does it really happen frequent…
/r/ExRedPill24/07/22 04:36 PM
7

In all honesty, I think this is a relic of past generations when women were much more reliant on men, and if you didn't have a husband by 30 that had serious social costs. Now a days, there isn't a big cost to being single, provided you are fulfilled and have meaningful connections in other facets of your life. And of course this varies- some people are more solitary than others, and others really crave a primary romantic connection. I think the fear of being single in one's 30-40s is probably m…
/r/ExRedPill07/07/22 09:30 PM
1

What sub-community did you see that in? All RP content I have engaged with is obsessed with becoming "high value"
/r/ExRedPill16/06/22 10:21 PM
6

I think the reality is that they hate that most western women have Freedom of choice. Men want more control, because it is the only thing that will make them feel safe in the relationship. Since they don't feel, at their core, that they are lovable and desirable for who they are- they seek control over women to gain a sense of security. The fact that Western women can choose who they date, how they date, and when they want to leave triggers insecurity in RP guys. Financial independence. People w…
/r/ExRedPill14/06/22 12:33 PM
2

One of them has! He now has a super sweet and loving girlfriend which is amazing because he never thought he'd find someone. He has done a total 180 and has really opened his eyes to how great life can be and how to have functional relationships with women. I'm really proud of him. My other friend is about 90% out of RP, but his depression pulls him back on occasion. I encouraged him to find a therapist, and he's been going for about a year and his therapist is probably the first positive male r…
/r/ExRedPill09/06/22 09:26 PM
5

Yeah I get it. As a woman, I like it, but only from partners who I feel trust and safety with. It's the unsolicited and predatory attention that is awful and can be really frightening in many contexts. Or only being seen for your body and totally ignored for your qualities and achievements. But when you're sexually desired by someone you actually want to have sex with, yeah it's great. I'm sure not all women like that though, I know I do. I also know that men don't usually have that experience o…
/r/ExRedPill09/06/22 05:10 PM
8

What kind of a service are you talking about? For some, lack of sex is the main issue- and an inability to flirt, be seductive, to date successfully etc. For others, it's being fundamentally unattractive to most women (to the point that confidence building and better styling does not help). For others, it's feeling like women are a shallow homogenous group who only want wealthy chads. In my experience, I've helped two male friends leave RP through a genuine friendship. My friendships have allowe…
/r/ExRedPill09/06/22 12:23 PM
12

People who are actually being manipulated do not know they're being manipulated. If you're aware of the way you're being played, then you're not being manipulated. The naïveté on the target's behalf is necessary for it to be considered manipulation. It's not like women think, "oh wow, what a manipulative and shady man. Let's bang!" Quick definition: "Manipulation or emotional manipulation is the use of means to exploit, control, or otherwise influence others to one’s advantage. In the extreme it…
/r/ExRedPill06/06/22 06:19 PM
3

Sexist (def): prejudice or discrimination based on sex. Characterized by or showing prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex. So based on this definition, no it is not "sexist" to have height preferences among women because you're not being discriminatory based on sex, you're being discriminatory based on height and size. And while that is likely rooted in gender roles to some extent, imo it's valid to like what you like. Especially when it's somet…
/r/ExRedPill31/05/22 02:49 AM
4

This is it. In the world of normies, these rules don't apply and people have diverse preferences. I feel like so much RP advice is based on such a narrow dating dynamic, it's really not broadly applicable. Like when I see F&F make statements about women, that probably holds true for Miami sugar babies, but in your average town/city, it's not a common dynamic or approach to dating. My ex was unemployed for the first 2 years we dated. We were both in school. I was in grad school on a scholarship a…
/r/ExRedPill20/05/22 12:26 PM
17

"I wish women had to compete for men" I totally agree. I think women should compete in a 100m sprint to win a man. Whatever woman is victorious in the race, that's the woman who the dude has to marry. Or maybe an arm wrestling competition or a battle to the death. I love this idea!
/r/ExRedPill14/05/22 05:15 PM
3

Your feelings are valid. One of my best friends is 6'3, and he's more of a timid guy and really dislikes literally "looking down" at people. A couple things. For one, the vast majority of men are going to be stronger than the vast majority of women. The physical intimidation may feel less present to a shorter guy, but the reality that men are on average much stronger than women exists. You may have an awareness of this due to your height, but women are aware that the majority of men have the phy…
/r/ExRedPill05/05/22 10:11 PM
7

My dude, I mean this in all kindness, height is absolutely not the reason you lack success with women. Placing uniform blame on any one physical quality is just nonsensical. It's not like you're some 9'0 freak of nature. You're just tall. That's it.
/r/ExRedPill05/05/22 05:49 PM
4

For context, I'm 5'7. My first love was 5'6, and my current crush is also my height, maybe a bit shorter. So yes, I have been attracted to and have dated men of all heights. It's a really trivial quality relative to other qualities/character traits that I consider much more important in dating.
/r/ExRedPill04/05/22 06:31 PM
13

This can't be generalized to all conservatives, but the biggest parallel I see between RedPill and what is often associated with the right is an emphasis on tradition as being superior and better for people than what is offered in the modern world. RedPill has this nostalgia for past gender dynamics. The man as the traditional breadwinner who took on a more assertive and dominant role in the relationship. And the women were more submissive and dependent on men. And among some conservatives (espe…
/r/ExRedPill03/05/22 12:55 PM
7

even though it's 2022 the man is still expected to do most of the heavy lifting and even still there's no guarantee that all the work you'll be putting in will give him a good result as that girl can still easily reject him at any level of the interaction. What do you mean by do all the heavy lifting? And do you think it's any different for women? Firstly, women will put in just as much effort and there is no guarantee that the guy is going to show sustained interest. Secondly, of course a perso…
/r/ExRedPill30/04/22 02:07 PM
18

Sit on a bench in a busy street and people watch. Let me know if all the men holding the hand of a woman look like body builders or if you perceive them to be rich.
/r/ExRedPill30/04/22 11:02 AM
21

Agreed. One would assume the community would love to talk about anything except for women. But they are definitely some of the most hyper-fixated on women.
/r/ExRedPill29/04/22 04:02 PM
1

Some of them told me that the love of a woman free them from depressing beliefs about their own worth This is fair. Sometimes you need to find a person who sees you for you, and still loves you. It can be very powerful to reveal your full self to someone and still be accepted when you've gone your whole life hiding the parts of yourself that you dislike or that were shamed in the past. So I get that. I have found that same kind of realization through some of my friendships, and I'm grateful for …
/r/ExRedPill25/04/22 04:24 PM
1

I appreciate you saying that. Thank you
/r/ExRedPill25/04/22 01:37 PM
39

it is more like revenge fantasies I definitely agree with this. It is a revenge fantasy. And if it were true, the concept of the "milf" would not exist. I get the point that if you're a man looking to have biological children and that's really important to you, then prioritizing age would make sense. Fertility treatments are expensive as hell so I understand wanting a younger partner with better chances of having a full term pregnancy. But this fiction that you become invisible and sexually unvi…
/r/ExRedPill22/04/22 09:03 PM
6

Firstly, "wasting time" while dating is inevitable and it happens to both sexes. You're not going to be a good match with everyone, and I find that 9/10 dates aren't major successes. You need to accept that finding real chemistry and connection is a matter of trial and error. Secondly, reframe this "wasting time", and think of it as getting to know people and through that process learning to identify red flags, figuring out the qualities you're not compatible with, and refining what you do want.…
/r/ExRedPill18/04/22 03:42 PM
1

Depends on age, life stage, what the roommates are like, what kind of relationship the woman is looking for. As you mentioned- some cities are much more expensive to live in, so it's also important to consider that. In my hometown you can definitely afford your own apartment if you make a bit above minimum wage. Now that I'm older and more established, I would feel a little weird dating a guy who still lived with roommates, but it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. In my city, things are expensive but n…
/r/ExRedPill18/04/22 12:29 PM
3

Well I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like you have a path of healing and self discovery to go down and I wish you the best.
/r/ExRedPill15/04/22 06:50 PM
5

Dude, what makes you really into a woman? Just her simple existence and adherence to basic human decency? Answer this question, What makes you interested in the people you're friends with? Them being a human, or is it other qualities that you find appealing? Like shared interests, maybe they have interesting perspectives on things, maybe they're funny, maybe they make you feel good about yourself? Be real with yourself. What makes you really into a girl? She has to have some intriguing quality t…
/r/ExRedPill15/04/22 05:24 PM
7

Of course people want to be loved for who they are. But the thing is, if you're bitter, resentful, entitled, mad at women for being head over heels for simply being "nice"- hate to say it but that's not attractive and don't be surprised if you're not loved for who you are if your greatest asset is being nice. 95% of the people I know are nice. That alone is insufficient to spark interest. If one's aim is to be loved and make connections, you need to be a lovable person and have lovable qualities…
/r/ExRedPill15/04/22 04:41 PM
25

Literally. I don't know why some men get triggered by this. Being an interesting multifaceted person is attractive. OP conflating that with being a jester there to entertain is just idiotic.
/r/ExRedPill15/04/22 02:24 PM
1

I both agree and disagree. I've always had well above average looks. And there was a period of years where I was majorly depressed and abusing alcohol. I had extremely low self esteem and self worth. I was not confident, but I guess I was when I was drunk... And yeah people didn't treat me any better or worse. Men have showed the same level of attraction and interest towards me back then as they do now. Even though I'm arguably much more confident, self assured, and better at talking to people. …
/r/ExRedPill14/04/22 04:56 PM
2

That's fair. But if it's social norms that you're drawing parallels between, then it's more useful to say "toxic social norms" (and then give your definition of "toxic" and some examples) because "patriarchy" is an extremely abstract term and the way people use it tends to blur categories rather than illuminate them.
/r/ExRedPill12/04/22 12:14 PM
7

toxic social norms that affect both sexes social system that is built on maintaining gender roles limiting their options and loading them up with stereotypes So patriarchy is a social system that contains toxic social norms and loads people with stereotypes? Red Pill is not a social system, it's more of an ideological community. How does one "load people with stereotypes"? Who does this loading and through what mechanism? And WHO is limiting anyone's options? Really? Who or what institution is t…
/r/ExRedPill12/04/22 02:07 AM
14

This question belongs in r/AmItheAsshole. And yes, YTA. It makes me so angry when guys try to protect girls in situations like that like they’re going to get some pussy Why does people standing up for others trigger you so much? Truly? If you call your coworker "a fucking retard" for not responding to you amid another conversation with the boss, yeah, getting reprimanded is expected. Expecting to carry on without consequence is ridiculous. Secondly, anytime a person attributes a sweeping homogen…
/r/ExRedPill11/04/22 08:39 PM
8

Genuine question, do you never look at another woman, either online or in person and find her hot? Do you not watch porn? Do you not scroll through social media and see women you're attracted to? Do you never watch a movie and find the actresses hot? Do you never think about past crushes? My partner used to have an issue with this (finding some male celebrities attractive) and I had a very hard time taking him seriously because he watched porn maybe 3x/week, and has his own celebrity crushes and…
/r/ExRedPill11/04/22 08:25 PM
17

Can you please provide your definition of patriarchy? This post makes no sense and I'm doubtful you have a thorough or accurate understanding of patriarchy given the comparisons you're making. Are you implying that patriarchy is a hatred for men's looks, single parenthood, women's freedoms, glorifying fatherhood, hating young men? What?
/r/ExRedPill11/04/22 08:03 PM
8

I feel like this is a fear that some men have that parallel's women's fear that her partner will leave her for a prettier woman. But the way to mitigate this is twofold. One, be an interesting and appealing person, and be a good partner. Make your wealth the least interesting thing about you, and don't lead with it! Secondly, vet the people you're with. If you're afraid that you're being used for something, revoke that thing and see how the person responds. I tell this to my female friends as we…
/r/ExRedPill10/04/22 01:32 PM
3

Start using minoxodil, or maybe consider shaving your head if you have a good skull shape. Bald with a beard can look really good, but if that's not going to suit you then dude, get on minoxodil! There are things you can do to look your best and preserve your hair if it bothers you. It doesn't sound like you're doing that, I kinda get the sense that you have this acceptance and almost apathy about your undesirable qualities when there are things you can do to be more appealing. Secondly, get in …
/r/ExRedPill07/04/22 08:45 PM
3

I like this trope for several reasons. Don't outsource your happiness. When you do, if you end up losing your primary source of joy you're screwed. Diversify the number of things that give you meaning or else you're taking a big risk. Long lasting relationships put you through the damn ringer because life is not easy. My partner and I have endured the loss of both his parents within a one year period. Going through that together was absolutely brutal. I've had my health issues worsen which puts …
/r/ExRedPill05/04/22 05:16 PM
5

Nobody is looking for their partner to make them happy You'd be surprised how many are. Many people try to use others as a way to fill up their empty cup. I've unfortunately dated a few.
/r/ExRedPill05/04/22 05:02 PM
5

Firstly, I think they push the idea because they're manipulative people who are insecure about their lack of accomplishments, intrigue, and desirability so they feel like without deception- they're unwanted and unlovable. They feel like deception is a requisite to being loved and desired because their true selves are so abhorrent. How sad is that? It's just a reflection of their own profound sense of being unwanted for who they are. And maybe they felt unloved as a child or in their youth, maybe…
/r/ExRedPill04/04/22 02:18 PM
1

That's why I asked you to share a picture of an outfit that attracts predators
/r/ExRedPill30/03/22 10:41 PM
1

Could you give an example of an outfit that attracts predators? I get your general point. Sartorial choices influence the way we're perceived whether we like it or not. Men who wear suits are more likely to evaluated as competent and dominant relative to casual attire. The act of wearing a suit is correlated with better negotiation skills relative to when the participant is negotiating wearing casual clothes (study here). Women who wear makeup to work are taken more seriously than those who arri…
/r/ExRedPill30/03/22 12:11 AM
1

Sorry English isn't my first language, I tend to get some words messed up. Thanks for the note :)
/r/ExRedPill29/03/22 09:14 PM
19

I really can't relate to this. Two of my best friends got married young (20 and 22), and I was single at the time but I was so overjoyed for them. I was crying at my one friend's wedding more than any of her family members. I think people forget that bitterness and jealousy are not sex specific, and not confined to a certain point in life. Even look within TRP, there is so much hate towards "chads" or men who have an easy time finding women to date. And we see this from men of all ages. I think …
/r/ExRedPill29/03/22 06:46 PM
8

Definitely not. He had a child which I was uncomfortable with. I was just recently out of my teenage years (why is a 45 year old man interested in developing a romantic connection with someone who just finished high school??), and aside from our academic interests and compatible personalities, we really didn't have anything in common. We were at such different life stages. He felt much more like a mentor/professor/ father figure rather than someone I'd want to date, have a connection with, or be…
/r/ExRedPill29/03/22 04:35 PM
22

It's premised on the notion that men's primary value is in their resources, status, and power, and women's primary value is in her beauty and fertility. Men's pique earning years are their mid to late 40s, which if we accept that a man's main value is based on resources and status, then one could argue men are most attractive at that age. But evidence doesn't support this. This hypothesis fails, however, because the amount of wealth that is required to attract younger women is astronomical and u…
/r/ExRedPill29/03/22 12:36 PM
5

My pleasure. Glad things resonated with you. Be well!
/r/ExRedPill23/03/22 04:44 PM
3

I think it's important to not take things personally then. 50% is way too high in my opinion. And also recognize that while you might be an awesome person, people reveal their true selves and their depth over time. My best friends today became my best friends over a long process of getting to know them. I liked them initially, but our true compatibility wasn't revealed until months into knowing them when we mutually became more comfortable with one another, got to know each other at a deeper lev…
/r/ExRedPill23/03/22 04:02 PM
6

i meet more than 300 people a year and only like 30 of them end up friends I don't think this is uncommon though. To only end up friends with a small portion of the people you meet. I guess a better question is what are your expectations? Do you expect to be friends with everyone? Do you expect to have a compatibility/connection with most people? Because in my eyes, being friends/acquaintances with 10% of the people you meet is a really good stat. Secondly, I think that if you find the quantity …
/r/ExRedPill23/03/22 02:28 PM
5

literally only 10% of people I meet accept me What do you mean by this? That people don't accept you? In what ways? Because if we're being real, everyone will only be compatible- be it in terms of friendships or relationships- with a select group of people. No matter how many positive attributes you have, you're not going to seamlessly get along with and be liked by everyone unless you're a hyper-charismatic, agreeable, social chameleon type. But when you think of how many people you'd like to b…
/r/ExRedPill23/03/22 01:09 PM
25

Some single women seem fine and others you know they're messed up in the head Yeah because people vary. Some single dudes seem fine and others are bloody nuts. This observation noting the variation in women is not unique to single women of a certain age. People vary. That's all. Secondly, the wall is a fiction. You can be past your own personal sexual/physical prime and still have plenty of viable options. This goes for men and women. Because dating is about more than just appearance. And the re…
/r/ExRedPill21/03/22 11:52 PM
3

I have a hard time agreeing with this... I think you're giving pimps too much credit. Because the two motives you outline are not mutually exclusive. A friend of mine started dating a guy who ended up becoming her pimp... She was working minimum wage, living in a shitty apartment, was disowned by her traditional Chinese parents for dropping out of school. Basically she was in a very vulnerable position. She started dating this guy who she met on Tinder. He told her he wants to make her life bett…
/r/ExRedPill21/03/22 12:58 PM
1

Yep I agree
/r/ExRedPill20/03/22 08:37 PM
7

Rigid belief about sex roles, shits on feminism, heavy reliance on evolutionary psychology to understand the sexes, sees women as homogenous, awkward/ a bit of a social outcast, disproportionate rage after being rejected, admiration/ borderline obsession with billionaires (!), lacks empathy.
/r/ExRedPill20/03/22 08:25 PM
2

Yeah I was just gonna say, since I work in academia I always say "males" and "females" by default. A red flag when accompanied by other beliefs/actions though.
/r/ExRedPill20/03/22 08:21 PM
5

My personal red flags/ dealbreakers - Lack of impulse control/inability to delay gratification - Financially irresponsible - Substance abuse - A man who un-ironically calls himself "alpha" or "high value" - Zero long term friends (learned this the hard way with my ex. If someone has literally no long terms friends and poor relationships with their family, in my experience, they are the common denominator and often the reason for this pattern of failed relationships.) - Lack of self awareness - I…
/r/ExRedPill18/03/22 05:51 PM
6

The only term I have actually found really beneficial is "frame". And I have to say, I use it literally all the time (albeit in different contexts than RP intends). I have a couple family members who have incredibly narcissistic tendencies, and they often make assertions about reality, who I am, how things are etc. And after learning about that concept of "frames", I started to apply it irl and strongly maintain my own frame and version of reality that is impenetrable around these particular peo…
/r/ExRedPill18/03/22 12:43 PM
1

I get what you're saying and I empathize with the need to feel your best, and when you don't, it can kill any motivation to date. I really do get that and I felt that way when I didn't have a chance to workout due to lockdowns. I was still fit and in shape, but wasn't able to build my ass/legs in the way I usually do. And that made me feel like shit even though it wasn't that significant in the minds of others, and all my friends thought I was being ridiculous for feeling so down. So I do unders…
/r/ExRedPill17/03/22 07:07 PM
18

I don't know if I agree with the title of your post, that women settle for psychopaths. Obviously the character Nate Jacobs is played by an extremely handsome and tall man. If these same dark triad personality traits were played by a less desirable man, I doubt the same number of women would find him attractive. Additionally, for those who haven't watched Euphoria, Nate is also an interesting character because of his complex past. He is grappling with his sexuality, he spent his life trying to p…
/r/ExRedPill15/03/22 03:37 PM
1

Doubtful that this is hate speech. Hate speech (def): abusive or threatening speech or writing that expresses prejudice against a particular group, especially on the basis of race, religion, or sexual orientation. Calling someone low-value is mean, but it doesn't meet the criteria for hate speech in my opinion. But I agree that it's a stupid term. My thinking on why is quite different though. Something I've learned throughout my dating life is that what people perceive as "valuable" is going to …
/r/ExRedPill02/03/22 08:35 PM
14

Options decrease with age because more people are single in their younger years. And even though the average age of marriage is late twenties/early 30s, that still means that if you're single into your 30s/40s and onward- there are fewer options due to the fact that many people are already pair bonded. And even if 50% of those marriages were to end in divorce, that dating pool is still smaller than if you were 21. So there is definitely some truth to that claim. But this notion that people hit a…
/r/ExRedPill01/03/22 08:46 PM
1

I mean, if he wants to rely on theories/hypotheses from the field of evolutionary psychology, at least take that reasoning to its logical conclusion. If one wants to make the case that women are wired to reproduce with a quality man- this extends beyond genetics and appearance. Women are also "wired" to be attentive to the environment that a child is raised in and consider broader factors- like will this man be a good parent and partner, will he foster an environment that is safe, healthy, and o…
/r/ExRedPill28/02/22 10:13 PM
1

In my personal view, the best place to be at is when you don't need a partner to have a satisfying life. If you build your life in such a way where your community, your roles and responsibilities to yourself, your community, your friends and family etc. are inherently fulfilling- this is an extremely powerful place for both men and women. When you don't need someone, but you want someone. I think some men see the lack of need or dependence as a sign of their obsolescence. But choosing a partner …
/r/ExRedPill17/02/22 05:17 PM
2

But he's not talking to incels. He's shouting into this sub that is filled with other people who are mostly against RP thinking. These posts are so self indulgent and repetitive. I guarantee he is not changing the minds of incels, he's just polluting this sub with the same predictable rants.
/r/ExRedPill14/02/22 04:46 PM
10

Dude you need to chill with the posts.... They're very repetitive, have the same tone and content, and are not contributing anything of value to this community. This sounds like the same rant you've been posting for weeks... I think you might want to consider a new outlet to vent your frustrating with the RP community, because you're legit becoming the only account I see posting on this sub- but it's never anything different and it's sure as hell not adding value. I'm not trying to shit on you, …
/r/ExRedPill14/02/22 03:13 PM
9

No, single mothers are not "damaged goods". Every single living person will have some baggage. And not every person will meet your standards and preferences. Yes, for some, children from a previous relationship will be a dealbreaker. And it doesn't mean that person is "damaged goods", it just means that they're not a compatible person for you. End of story. No need to endlessly shit on them or insult them for not aligning with your subjective preferences. I think it's reasonable to feel threaten…
/r/ExRedPill13/02/22 06:44 PM
13

Women vary, and there is not some consensus about the hierarchy of valuable qualities that women prioritize. Of course there is overlap in what all people want. People value love, loyalty, commitment, honesty, integrity, compassion, compatibility, stability, communication skills, sense of humour, confidence etc. These are all desirable qualities in both men and women. Your best bet is to become a good person. Be a well rounded guy. Take care of yourself, have passions and interests, develop your…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 02:19 PM
8

I feel like this is similar to the spiritual astrology girls.. My younger sister is all about "manifestation", and she meditates on a thought in the belief that she will bring it into existence if she believes it is true... She told me the reason I had telogen effluvium was because I was verbalizing the fact that my hair was falling out. If I stopped acknowledging this reality, things would change and my hair would stop falling out.... Didn't work for me but maybe I just wasn't committed enough.…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 02:27 AM
2

I think there comes a point of diminishing returns. Being intelligent to a point is beneficial, and anything beyond that doesn't greatly contribute to one's appeal- and can in some cases be a hindrance due to assortative mating. People wth doctorates tend to prefer partners with a commensurate level of education or income.
/r/ExRedPill05/02/22 03:44 AM
11

Yes, I very much agree with this. To add to this, intelligence is not the only trait that increases over time and is highly valuable in relationships. Having a strong character, a good personality, being caring, nurturing, interesting, a good listener, thoughtful, understanding, supportive, funny etc. are all traits that matter and tend to expand with age. Not to mention that compatibility is also a huge factor. And as a brief caveat- intelligence is not a universal value that people seek in par…
/r/ExRedPill04/02/22 05:14 PM
12

Idk what to say to this other than as a rule, life is pretty messy and there will always be ups and downs. You can catch people in a "messy" phase of their life no matter what decade you look at. And being married with kids doesn't stop shit from happening. And your sex isn't a protective factor- dudes at all ages can go through crises and be a mess, as can women. It's a human thing, not a gender thing. In my experience with women though, the fear and anxiety tends to concentrate in the early/mi…
/r/ExRedPill02/02/22 11:34 PM
6

You sound like a delight!
/r/ExRedPill31/01/22 11:28 PM
14

Yes, of course straight women are sexually attracted to men. Here are some reasons why it may not seem that way. The majority of women are not predatory/overt about their attraction to men. We don't scream at hot guys or catcall men. Whereas for guys it seems to be the norm to shout at attractive girls you see while driving by. I've been followed home, had guys run after men when I was on a jog (terrifying), and approach me in the strangest situations. I don't know any women who would do that...…
/r/ExRedPill31/01/22 07:15 PM
1

You're correct, I should have been more nuanced in my initial comment.
/r/ExRedPill26/01/22 01:33 PM
1

Even if artificial wombs were to magically become a feasible option, I think there would be a major ethical dilemma. Firstly, even with surrogacy, adoption etc. there are all kinds of ethical issues about parents changing their minds, semen/eggs being messed up in the lab and the child not being the biological descendant of both parents who paid for the surrogate. Consequently, the parent changes their minds. Since overseas surrogacy is also common and cheaper, the laws vary country-to-country, …
/r/ExRedPill26/01/22 01:32 PM
1

Yes with immense variation in the depth that it can stretch. Some women can comfortably accommodate around 4 inches max while aroused. In the same sense that every man will have significant variation in size when erect, it's the same with vaginas. Hence why bigger does not equal better.
/r/ExRedPill26/01/22 02:35 AM
2

Incompatibility. Wanting different things ultimately. Wrong timing. Having a deep mutual connection with someone doesn't mean they're a viable long term partner. All the men I've dated have been fantastic and interesting people. But in the same way that love isn't enough to sustain a relationship, having a strong mutual connection and interest isn't enough to sustain a long term relationship. My ex was and remains one of the best people I know, but he wanted to be the breadwinner and have a big …
/r/ExRedPill25/01/22 11:00 PM
1

Ok so I did my MA thesis on RP/ the mansophere. Being so deep in the content, you can't help but take some things to heart. It was the community I was most immersed in for 2 years, and came to internalize some of the beliefs about women, developed this fear of aging and inevitable obsolescence, questioning how I was in my relationship and if I was doing shit wrong etc. It was baffling how I managed to attract so many great men despite being pretty assertive, not submissive, and very goal-oriente…
/r/ExRedPill25/01/22 10:18 PM
2

Toxic masculinity is one of those concepts that is pretty carelessly thrown around today and I don't think it's a useful lens for understanding the source. "My thesis is basically that Toxic masculinity is a root cause of why boys turn into incels and it has nothing to do with "female rejection" - What if these guys became toxic upon exposure to and integration of RP ideas? What if they did not in any way align with your concept of "toxic masculinity", but developed those traits after reading/wa…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/22 09:09 PM
45

My experience with dudes like this is that they're so manipulative and are amazing at putting on a front. My first bf back when I was 19 was a guy like this. He spent months being so good to me. He was attentive, interested in me, we had a lot of laughs and he was just amazing company. He'd remember all the little things I said and mentioned in passing, and would either buy it for me, get tickets to the show I mentioned etc. I felt like we had such a strong connection and I really loved spending…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/22 07:17 PM
93

It's always ironic to me how RP guys will shit on women broadly, yet base their entire self esteem and sense of self around their ability/inability to attract women. They hate on women and are extremely misogynistic, but simultaneously understand their own worth through their proximity to the beautiful women they claim to resent for being too easy. Your friend sounds like a walking red flag... I hope he can change his ways.
/r/ExRedPill23/01/22 02:03 PM
2

I'm glad my words resonated with you :)
/r/ExRedPill23/01/22 02:40 AM
5

I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion, but sexual history does matter for a number of reasons. The first thing to establish is that I don't think sexual history should be used as a metric to shame someone. But someone's sexual past can provide insights. And when you can have conversations about sexual history openly and without harsh judgment- it can give you insight into your degree of compatibility with a person. It can indicate their desire for novelty, what turns them on most, what th…
/r/ExRedPill23/01/22 02:05 AM
5

One thing I'll mention is that your increase in success with women could also be due to your increase in age. I find with age comes maturity, self knowledge, greater career success, better self esteem, improved communication skills, more comfort in conversations etc. I think red pill is attractive to younger dudes who are still a little awkward, don't have their life figured out, don't have a strong sense of self etc. Because some of the messages resonate with them more. They lack success with w…
/r/ExRedPill21/01/22 02:01 PM
8

Yeah it's definitely necessary to detox from that kind of content. It's such a visceral kind of repulsion and ickiness I feel when watching some RP content. I used to watch Rollo Tomassi because he was more articulate, and now I can watch about 10 minutes of his videos before I feel nauseous. Mikayla Peterson interviewed him and he just sounded like an asshole the whole interview trying to tell her that her SMV is so low because she's divorced with a child. When in reality she's witty, successfu…
/r/ExRedPill20/01/22 04:17 PM
10

Misogyny, sexism, bigotry of any kind is not in any ways reserved to one ideological circle. I have said this many times. While it is clear that a lot of ideas circulating in RP spheres are extremely misogynistic, this subgroup by no means accounts for the bulk of misogynists you see online. Bigotry can be found in all spheres. Left, right, and centre. Additionally, it's useful to be aware of algorithms, and the reality that platforms communicate with one another and this creates a silo effect w…
/r/ExRedPill19/01/22 01:34 PM
3

Who is "we"? Secondly, looks matter for both men and women when choosing a partner. Mutual attraction is vital for both sexes, there just seems to be more taboo around women admitting to the fact that physical attraction is also important. The argument put forth for why men value appearance is often pulled from evolutionary psych, which is that men want an attractive, youthful, and fertile woman who looks healthy enough to endure childbirth. But the exact thing holds for women by that logic, whi…
/r/ExRedPill18/01/22 02:03 PM
9

A rule of thumb is that anytime someone has to tell you how funny, interesting, smart, charismatic etc. they are, they're not. People who go around preaching how honest they are are always the biggest liars. People who go around talking about how smart they are are always idiots. When you truly have a virtue or desirable quality, people will recognize that through your words, actions, and disposition. If you're truly intelligent, others will see that and respect you for it. You don't need to ann…
/r/ExRedPill15/01/22 03:41 PM
3

Yes exactly! I did the same with Rollo Tomassi and Fresh & Fit. I thought there is no way it can be this bad, but it was so much worse. The handful of clips I'd seen circulating made them seem somewhat reasonable, but watching their full content was so much worse than I could have imagined.
/r/ExRedPill14/01/22 02:05 PM
19

Yes exactly. I forgot to add that point. RP shames women for their high standards, but when they settle and end up with a man who leaves, cheats, can't support a family etc. then they're shamed for lacking standards. In the RP universe, women are damned if they do, damned if they don't. If women don't have sex, then they're withholding and being manipulative, and using sex to control men which they argue is unfair. But the women who do have sex are also in the wrong for being promiscuous sluts a…
/r/ExRedPill13/01/22 09:13 PM
2

Well if you feel the need to take a break, find some mental stability and work on your anxiety, then that makes sense. Dating is very stressful when you're not feeling secure within yourself. I'd challenge your assertion that everyone has these high standards... My best friend is dating a guy who she think is fantastic because he remembers details about her life.. That's where the bar is at for her and she's a very attractive and interesting person. For her, as long as a dude is employed, has a …
/r/ExRedPill13/01/22 04:02 PM
38

The thing is, what he claims to be doing and what he actually does are mutually exclusive. As you noted, his MO is to shame women and his audience is primarily men who enjoy seeing women belittled and "humbled". They feel a vicarious satisfaction through Samuels' disgust with and critique of women. The bitterness and resentment these guys feel towards women from being rejected or not being chosen runs deep, and seeing Samuels "humble" women on livestreams gives his audience satisfaction by sayin…
/r/ExRedPill13/01/22 03:53 PM
6

Totally agree with you. And it's the same about cultivating a good romantic life/relationships. To be in a compatible relationship with mutual love, compassion, understanding, interest etc. is not something that you just stumble into. I agree with the OP that being attractive makes that process easier by virtue of a larger dating pool, but being charismatic, able to connect with others, able to parse out who you're compatible with etc. takes deliberate effort and practice, especially when you're…
/r/ExRedPill13/01/22 03:02 AM
1

Firstly, penis size is more important to men than it is to women. I've heard so many guys get offended when their partner tells them that they are the perfect size". Some men don't seem to want this. Being able to satisfy their partner isn't sufficient. If the woman isn't in pain, then they feel this sense of inadequacy. But I can tell you, it's not women who are enjoying some outrageously large dick. It seems to be more relevant between men. Secondly, having a cuck kink is independent of one's …
/r/ExRedPill13/01/22 02:21 AM
1

A few things. The things that RP gurus promote are often aspirational. It's not like these guys embody this lifestyle that they're trying to sell. They're trying to attract followers, make money, and to do that effectively they have to sell the "dream". And that dream they're selling is more indicative of their character and aspirations rather than something fulfilling or broadly desirable. - An example of which is Jack Murphy- notorious alpha male who is a literal cuck, had his girlfriend cheat…
/r/ExRedPill11/01/22 05:25 PM
14

Okay, here is my two cents. My boyfriend (now husband) had this same irrational fear when we first met. His ex and him broke up, and months later she started dating a new man who happened to be black. My boyfriend used to consume a lot of porn, and I think the stereotypes about black men being more sexually apt and better in bed really made him insecure. Rather than framing his ex's new boyfriend as just another dude she was dating, he instantly projected this stereotype onto this man. It's not …
/r/ExRedPill10/01/22 04:15 PM
1

Additionally, rates of religiosity were a lot higher back then. Which creates additional pressure on women to be "pure" and godly women, and to get married and stay committed independent of the quality of the relationship. I think higher religious participation may be a reason why women from that era are being framed as more pure. Secondly, I'm sure cannot be generalized to every place, is that schools in some areas were sex segregated. I know my grandmother who was born in the late twenties wen…
/r/ExRedPill08/01/22 11:09 PM
3

I'm sorry what? The entire topic of the OPs question is whether men or women have it harder. My response had nothing to do with how income is stratified by race and gender. Why would you assume I got defensive about a "harsh truth" when I was not talking about the correlates between race, gender, and income? Also you forgot to add in that Asian women (on average- because these stats are all just averages) make more than white women. At least in my country. Additionally, POC men who are first and…
/r/ExRedPill08/01/22 07:42 PM
3

What harsh truth? All I was saying is that you can't reliably use ascribed traits to predict how much struggle one endures. Gaslighting would be telling him that his experience is wrong, and I didn't challenge his account of his experience? He asked a question about whether men or women have it harder- that was m response. I'm not telling him that his interpretation of his own life is wrong. I think you're misusing the term "gaslight".
/r/ExRedPill08/01/22 07:06 PM
4

I didn't say to drop the victim mentality. He asked a question- who has it worse, men or women? This isn't sharing a personal story and responding to his story by telling him to drop his mentality. I responded outlining the reasons why I think that an interest in a victim hierarchy and interest in placing oneself and others on the victim hierarchy is fruitless. Which was a response to the exact question- who has it harder? Aka who suffers more? I'm not dismissing this guys story or telling him t…
/r/ExRedPill08/01/22 06:50 PM
8

NO IDENTITY CATEGORY HAS A MONOPOLY ON SUFFERING OR HARDSHIP. NO SET OF IDENTITY CATEGORIES MAKES YOU IMMUNE TO EXPERIENCES OF HARDSHIP AND DISADVANTAGE. Your first mistake is accepting this victim hierarchy based on ascribed characteristics. Where you take up all of your identity points, and see where you fall on the victim totem pole relative to others. One point for being a POC, one point for being bisexual, one point for being disabled etc. Drop this framework. Opt out of the oppression olym…
/r/ExRedPill08/01/22 06:12 PM
20

Makeup artist earn significantly less than STEM professions. The "feminine" fields are all lower earning professions (childhood education, beauty, dental assistants, receptionist etc) than what's thought of as "male" fields which tend to be some of the highest earning professions (engineering, finance, software development). If a man is stigmatized and shamed out of a feminine field, it's likely a low income field and is going to have less of a financial impact on him than if a woman is shamed o…
/r/ExRedPill08/01/22 05:36 PM
12

If you're going to argue that media influences behaviour, then the exact same thing can be argued that media from the past shaped gender roles and caused women to be homely. Where men were framed as these rugged leaders, and women were depicted as delicate incompetent home makers. If your hypothesis is that the portrayal in some media of fathers as incompetent has created incompetent men, you would have to also accept that the media depiction of women as homemakers and mothers (and nothing more)…
/r/ExRedPill07/01/22 07:07 PM
26

I feel like most red pillers don't actually want the traditional dynamic that has become synonymous with the 1950s. They just want women to behave as the submissive, virginal, powerless, sexy, doting housewife character depicted in films from that time. They just want women to have sex with them all the time, for women to have no bargaining power in society or relationships, for women to be submissive and caring, and to show endless gratitude for having a husband (but also for women to contribut…
/r/ExRedPill07/01/22 03:56 AM
1

"I believe this woman was not a virgin, was already fucking some 6’3 chad and used me for validation and entertainment while her Chad was busy entertaining Becky and leaving this girl on read. She went on a date for the free meal and validation but she always preferred chad over me." Maybe she met you in person and didn't feel a connection. If you invited her on the date, you pay for the meal. You're a 20 year old guy and you chose to buy her a sweater. She's not some gold digger who is trying t…
/r/ExRedPill05/01/22 12:17 AM
29

This advice applies to both men and women. The other important fact is that if you date when you have low self esteem, you're more likely to tolerate mistreatment, a lack of compatibility, or overlook red flags if you don't believe that you can find someone who treats you well. One's self esteem in large part informs the amount of BS someone is willing to overlook and tolerate. Low self esteem leaves you more vulnerable to tolerating a bad dynamic if you think mediocrity is the best you can do, …
/r/ExRedPill04/01/22 03:47 AM
2

The options are not Tinder or approach random women. Capitalize on your social circle. And if you have a small social circle, getting out and making friends and connecting with people is good practice for your interpersonal skills in general. Making friends and having mutual friends is an effective way to meet new people and potential dates. Secondly, join in person clubs/groups based around an activity. My best friend joined a co-ed softball league and that alone has expanded her social circle …
/r/ExRedPill04/01/22 01:12 AM
6

I feel bad for people with this perception. When you view relationships as an emotionless transaction of resources/valuables- it means you have no capacity to love, to be loved, to feel connection etc. It also hints at this core belief that you can never be loved for who you are, only for what you have to offer. Children who never felt wanted or loved in their homes and environment tend to compensate by becoming adults who at best can feel needed, but never wanted. And it's actually a trait that…
/r/ExRedPill03/01/22 09:04 PM
7

The point you're missing is that people age. Women get to a point where they can no longer approximate feminine ideals of youthful beauty, with perfect skin, long hair free of greys, and no wrinkles. Going to the gym and maintaining your appearance works for a couple decades but there comes a point where it's not possible to approximate the youthful ideal for women. Secondly, ditch this 6 figure salary idea. If all you watch are the aspiring Miami sugar babies featured on the Fresh and Fit pod, …
/r/ExRedPill02/01/22 10:48 PM
9

I'd push back on this "inherent value" concept. Yes, women get more attention and it's not common to compliment a man's appearance. But here's the thing, as a woman your appearance is one of the most central parts of who you are. And all of this attention on how you look has major downsides as well. While people more openly compliment a woman, they're also way more harsh in their judgments and expectations of how a woman is meant to look. There is so much more inspection and examination of women…
/r/ExRedPill02/01/22 05:53 PM
4

"Ugly prepubescent boy looking dude who will never look like a man, great" Firstly, that isn't what she said. And you're 23, people mature at different rates and some will retain a more youthful look for longer. It's not as though you're immune from aging. You will go grey, develop wrinkles, experience changes to your body etc. I'm sorry that you feel your looks are an impediment. Of course people do deduce character traits based on different qualities. I am often assumed to be dumb and a bitch,…
/r/ExRedPill01/01/22 04:57 PM
2

Not inherently, no. The only time I see people have negative experiences with self improvement is through (1) a lack of discipline and the consequent shame that comes from not adhering to one's goals and letting oneself down. Or (2) through comparison to others who have a totally different set of circumstances. If you measure yourself relative to others and only see the gap in achievement, this can be a con. Lastly (3), self improvement can be negative when it's motivated for the wrong reasons. …
/r/ExRedPill31/12/21 05:15 PM
11

I am 27, so I can only speak to my mom's experience. But she continued to get asked out into her 50s. I'd see men approach her quite often. She is slim, very stylish, has always worn her hair in a jet black pixie cut. She is legitimately one of the most confident people I know and men have always seemed to be drawn to her and really intrigued by her. She retained that quality into her older years as well. I will say though, there is some definite truth to the constriction of options as you age. …
/r/ExRedPill26/12/21 10:15 PM
2

There are so many reasons that attraction and the frequency of sex will vary over the course of the relationship. All I can really speak to is my experience with friends and the readings I have done on relationships. So don't take my word for gospel, but these are common reasons that can harm sexual attraction and interest in sex from a women's perspective. Additionally, I do have female friends who have a higher libido than her male partner, and she is the one who is left craving sex while he i…
/r/ExRedPill26/12/21 05:42 PM
18

Someone get this man to a psychiatrist. Deep in the delusions, my friend.
/r/ExRedPill23/12/21 07:31 PM
9

Lucky ones... Yeah you sound really happy and functional...
/r/ExRedPill23/12/21 06:13 PM
16

There was no underhand shame. I overtly criticized your projection of your insecurities onto the men you envy and the women you wish you could be with. That is a character flaw that I hope you can work on as you become more mature, secure, and confident in yourself. It's not underhanded shame if I'm overtly noting your dysfunctional attitude. "I feel sorry for them when narcissistic alphas can do whatever the fuck they want lol" - Honey, thanks for your concern but don't worry about me or the ot…
/r/ExRedPill23/12/21 06:11 PM
21

Baby, you're in the wrong subreddit if you want people to confirm your RP beliefs. As I said in my last comment, I've been with 2 men. To dismiss an answer that you sought out and to assume things about me is an indication that you're not actually looking to grow and heal, and that you didn't actually want your question answered with nuance and honesty. When I said people date when they're young to figure out what they want, I didn't say they have sex with all of those people. You can go on date…
/r/ExRedPill23/12/21 05:51 PM
13

I mean as a grown woman with a body count of 2 you've made a flawed assumption. But if this is your best retort, to try an ad hominem attack instead of commenting on the substance of what I said, so be it. Better luck next time xo
/r/ExRedPill23/12/21 05:45 PM
29

"Do even the healthy girls desire the narcissistic assholes once in their youthful life and settle for Billy beta once they realize they can’t secure the assholes commitment." You do realize that men and women are complex and you can't sort men into the Narc asshole or Billy Beta category, and you can't sort women into the healthy/toxic category. Those are fabricated and false categories. If you self appoint to be the virtuous lord who determines where to fit men and women, you've got some heali…
/r/ExRedPill23/12/21 03:41 PM
5

Link the article
/r/ExRedPill22/12/21 06:50 PM
1

I say a wholehearted yes. But I think there is more to it. A lot of these guys have never felt wanted. They don't feel wanted by women, they also seem to be pretty socially isolated. And this sucks. I empathize with that. And when you are not wanted, people often try and become needed. But I find that most men in TRP have pretty low self esteem, they might have limited access to education and employment opportunities depending on where they live, and other constraints. So some feel like they are…
/r/ExRedPill22/12/21 03:59 AM
2

Totally. You don't need to play games. The people who engage in games are toxic. The women who are intrigued when you pull away and manipulate are just as toxic as the men who initiate those mind games. Authenticity is where it's at. Dating is hard. As a woman it's also hard. Yes, women have more options. But most dates fail for the simple fact that 9 times out of 10, you're not going to be compatible with the person you find attractive. Or whatever qualities they have that led you to agree to t…
/r/ExRedPill22/12/21 03:34 AM
3

I'm ugly, low self-esteem and confidence, have no education, status, personality, etc. Ugly- If you truly are ugly, not a ton you can do with that without surgery. You can have great skin and work on a skin care routine to improve texture/quality. You can find a flattering hairstyle for your face. Keep your lips hydrated. Brush your teeth. As for low confidence, this can be built. I had extremely low confidence and I was painfully anxious and awkward back in high school. Fast forward almost a de…
/r/ExRedPill22/12/21 03:17 AM
1

I hear you, but the ideals in the professional BDSM community do not hold for the day to day relationship where there is a clear pattern of authority/adherence. (FYI- I use masc pronouns for the dominant partner, and female pronouns for the submissive partner because this is the reality 99% of the time in red pill relationships.) What I've found in most RP dynamics, is there is someone who calls the shots and asserts their will, and the other person who fearfully complies. "The sub gives control…
/r/ExRedPill22/12/21 03:03 AM
125

Many things to address here. First. "He flies off the handle unpredictably, when he gets angry becomes a monster, screaming and destroying things, calling me names, sometimes these fights happen at 3am, 5am, 20 minutes before I have to leave before work or right before I have to go to sleep." This is domestic abuse. Point blank. If he is showing these behaviours now, you can guarantee the severity of his abuse will escalate. You are in a dangerous situation, and there is no way you can or should…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 04:52 PM
10

First of all, of course your feelings are completely valid and relatable. I think a point of difference is that the source of your traumas and triggers is really important to deal with and manage on a consistent basis. The second element is that this reality- him putting his kids first and spending time with them and sacrificing time with you- is going to be a thing for decades. And it's important to really be prepared for that. To be prepared for the fact that these triggering feelings will com…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 03:30 AM
4

1.I agree with the communication element, but I also hear women saying that they want to be "feminine" which entails passivity and tolerance. They don't want to upset their partners so they keep their discontents to themselves and vent on reddit. With the occasional outburst in front of their man. I also find that people who are in an arrangement where they clearly benefit, will do everything to sustain that arrangement. Lazy husbands don't have an incentive to change because it seems like the e…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 02:03 PM
4

Absolutely. I've been responding to many of these posts because my now husband used to be the guy who would happily sit back while I put on a brave face and pretended to happy little snow white cleaning in a cute little dress. I was working 10 hours days in graduate school, teaching, going to the gym, then coming home and doing EVERYTHING all while dressing cute, having my hair looking beautiful, and being in great shape. Meanwhile my then boyfriend was relaxing, gaming, napping, while being in …
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 01:47 PM
3

It sounds like you have a lot of suppressed emotions and hidden resentment about his lack of initiative and responsibility with the housework. I know you say you're fine with it, but based on your pent up emotions it seems like you're really not. And I wouldn't be either. It's not like you have a traditional dynamic where you can spend your entire day tending to the house. You both work full time paid jobs, and then you shoulder all the responsibility in the home? Not many people would be satisf…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/21 09:39 PM
1

Firstly, I'm so sorry you're in this position. I'm sure that moving to Pakistan is pretty isolating for you since you only have in-laws and not the social circle or community that you cultivated in Canada over the years. I know how isolating it can be moving to an unfamiliar place and I'm sure this is stressful time for you. Secondly, I think the stress is made worse by the lack of a timeframe, the lack of certainty etc. It also sounds like he hasn't really included you in his plan. I do think t…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/21 08:58 PM
1

First of all, if your hair is falling out, those strands that in the shedding phase are going to shed no matter how your hair is styled. If you wear it up, you just don't see it and those strands probably fall out in the shower. There are three stages of hair growth that every hair follicle goes through. The first is anagen, when the hair is actively growing. The second phase is categen, when the follicle is "resting", and the third stage is telogen, when the hair falls out. About 80% of our fol…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/21 08:26 PM
13

Firstly, it sounds like you are at the mercy of your emotions. Making decisions based on feelings will be temporary. Hence why you keep returning to this guy despite the red flags and pattern of instability. You need to think rationally here. What we can tell based on your description is that this is not a man who has certainty about what he wants. Starting off a relationship with someone who isn't sure if they even want to be with you is a hard no. Entertaining a man who isn't sure about you ne…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/21 08:16 PM
2

Intelligence does correlate to earning potential, and credentials can be a form of status of respectability that some women look for. I think intelligence is something women appreciate and look for when looking for a long term partner rather than a hookup. But I agree that intelligence without social skills can be a liability.
/r/seduction15/12/21 04:06 AM
3

Missing- intelligence, sense of humour, self awareness, chivalrous. With what you listed, 1, 5, 2, 4, 6, 3.
/r/seduction15/12/21 03:56 AM
1

Have you ever asked these women? Obviously we can't get a sense of your disposition and how you interact with women based on your written accounts. If you ask some of these girls for feedback, you're bound to find someone who is honest and can at least point you in the right direction of what might be off putting.
/r/seduction15/12/21 03:49 AM
1

Attraction is non-negotiable. If you don't feel attraction towards him, let him go. Especially in the new stages. Three dates is not many. For most, the novelty and excitement of a new romantic prospect would bring up some feelings that people often interpret as attraction. If you don't even have that base level of excitement, it's unlikely to develop later. Secondly, in my experience, people (both men and women) who settle for the person who they think they should be with always end up feeling …
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 09:47 PM
29

She just said that he starts fights when she doesn't use proper technique. And that he's very rigid about how things are done. Cooking together is only fun if he wants the help, accepts that her cuts aren't going to be as precise, and is patient with her. It sounds like this is a hobby that fulfils him intrinsically and that he enjoys doing alone. It doesn't sound at all like he wants her help since she stated that is the source of most of their fights- when she tries to help but it's not up to …
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 09:36 PM
2

He seems to be really controlling about food. And his high standards of food handling, cleanliness etc. is really rigid and quite OCD like. I read someone suggest to learn from him and cook together, but it doesn't sound like he's that interested in teaching you. It sounds like this is his hobby. I'd be supportive of it and let him be in the kitchen alone. You could always support his interest by getting him gifts like a great knife, a sharpening stone etc. As for your guilt about not fulfilling…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 09:32 PM
7

Don't forget, there is more variation within the sexes than between them. Men and women overlap in more ways than we differ. This is a critical point to understand. The variation and lack of overlap occurs at the extremes. Nearly whatever (non-physical) trait you're measuring, there will always be more ways that men and women are similar than different. It is objectively wrong to believe that men and women don't share more similarities than we do differences, because there are mountains of evide…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 07:55 PM
15

Absolutely true! My grandparents had a similar dynamic. I watched this Jordan Peterson lecture with my grandfather, and Peterson was saying that you want to find a spouse to "contend with". Someone who will lovingly call you on your bullshit, point out your blindspots, and make you uncomfortable in some ways so that you grow. Because we all have flaws, and if you can't find someone who will lovingly show you your flaws and challenge you to be better- then you're not in a good relationship. My gr…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 07:21 PM
8

So so true. Women fall into that trap thinking that suppressing their feelings is the key to being loved by men. It's actually the key to finding man-children who will take advantage of you as you enable their bad behaviour. Definitely some "cool girl" aspirations going on whether knowingly or unknowingly.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 07:17 PM
2

Openly gushing about the beauty and attractiveness is not acceptable behaviour in a monogamous relationship. If he's mad at you and says you don't trust him, that's his fault because he is giving you reasons to not trust him. If he expects loyalty and exclusivity from you, he needs to hold himself to that same standard. If he doesn't, get out ASAP. Signalling his attraction for other women in front of the person you're monogamous with is disrespectful, and it will reasonably make you feel threat…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 07:11 PM
2

This might be some tough love, but I think it's important for you to hear. Firstly, you cannot control how someone feels about you, and you absolutely cannot make a man respect and value what you bring to the table if they don't inherently value those things. We all have a different value hierarchy for ourselves and for what we want from a partner. You might have some great qualities, but if those qualities aren't top of the list qualities that your boyfriend wants and values in a woman- he is n…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 01:53 PM
5

To give some professional background- I did 2 years of research on attractiveness, cultural particularities and universal of attractiveness. I studied sociology and anthropology- specializing for those 2 years in physiognomy (no, not the racist kind). This research has informed my views on surgery and what procedures I'd recommend depending on the patient. And what surgeries are pretty much a blanket "no". To summarize, there is much more variation in body type ideals and preferences than in fac…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/21 06:01 PM
4

Awe mama I feel for you. A lot of these comments are saying you need to communicate, but your frustration with his lack of paternal intuition and initiative is totally valid. I think as women we are trained from day 1 to be aware of the needs of others and to consider the needs and feelings of others ahead of our own. And yes, there is absolutely a biological element to that with motherhood. But it is absolutely frustrating and disheartening that women are expected to have an intense maternal in…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/21 05:13 PM
3

I wouldn't say her not attending her Christmas party is her responsibility. Words and actions are different things. If her husband is telling her to go but isn't taking on responsibilities that would allow her to attend, then his words are meaningless. His actions need to be more supportive and he needs to show initiative and interest with the baby. Telling a new mother to "take a break" means absolutely nothing if you don't take on all the responsibilities of a newborn while she is resting. Tha…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/21 04:53 PM
3

I find it's only ever low status women who do this, or women who are insecure. I had a group of friends when I was living in a bigger city. All of these women were models, sugar babies, escorts, etc. They were all stunning in their own right and had status and money. They didn't shit on one another in the same way I see low-status women do. I liked these women because they were so much more secure in who they were. They would give genuine compliments and we didn't gossip about one another. Contr…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/21 05:30 PM
0

This is really suspicious. Firstly, I'd say to trust your gut. Especially if you're not the jealous type, if you feel off about one woman there is usually good reason. Secondly, if you've brought this up to your husband and he agrees that she's annoying and flirty, why does he continue to hang out with her? If he acknowledges these things, why does he keep the company of people like that? I'd place the responsibility on your husband despite the fact that this woman sounds shady. Third, the isola…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/21 04:57 PM
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