~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 29 | When he says he doesn’t deserve you, it’s the truth.. don’t try to make him believe he does.I hate that line! The truth is, when a guy says you’re ‘too good for him’ and that he ‘doesn’t deserve you’, he means that he knows you’re good but he doesn’t want to do any of the work required to be your man. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/20 01:42 AM |
| 15 | You don't owe anyone a chance. You can end an interaction/relationship WITHOUT having to justify your decision.Amen! I was talking with a guy online recently, he asked for my number, we moved to a different platform, he said he wanted to meet up and chat on the phone or video call and maybe meet up when it was safer but he never did. So I just stopped talking to him with no explanation. You don’t owe anyone anything. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/10/20 02:24 AM |
| 17 | The Coffee Date SidestepI would not suggest coffee dates only because they are cheap and low effort on part of the man and a waste of your time and efforts. A guy is not breaking the bank to take you out (trust me) so don’t feel bad about his wasted money if you walk out in the date or leave early from said restaurant. If you set the standards high from day one, they respect you more. You are an amazing woman ! Act this way! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/10/20 01:47 PM |
| 1 | Your weekly reminder not to ever ask a man outThat explains it better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/10/20 02:23 AM |
| 17 | Your weekly reminder not to ever ask a man outLook, I’m not saying this ‘lovely woman’ was in the right for asking the guy out. Don’t ask a man out! But if your guy friend has been seeing a lovely girl, introduced her to some of his friends and waited long enough for her to initiate the relationship talk...this man has some clear issues with stringing woman along and being dishonest. I would not call a man like that my friend. And you’re saying he’s chasing after some lady that rejected him? Im sorry but I would not have that kind of man as… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/10/20 06:48 PM |
| 4 | 🔥 Men will drop you like it’s hot 🔥 so don’t go soft for them😒🤔 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/20 05:57 PM |
| 5 | 🔥 Men will drop you like it’s hot 🔥 so don’t go soft for themLove it! Yes- if he wouldn’t do for you, don’t do for him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/20 05:57 PM |
| 13 | 🔥 Men will drop you like it’s hot 🔥 so don’t go soft for themYes- they don’t appreciate these ‘favours’ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/20 05:56 PM |
| 7 | To the frustrated woman still waiting for him to change: He won’t. An inside peak at their thought process....Amazing post and thank you! Yes when you REALLY think of it and break it down, that’s the way it is. I am starting to believe that the male psychology often is “if it works, why fix it or better it?”. If a woman is still staying, then she clearly wants to be treated this way. If a woman is complaining and sulking but still staying, it means she is still agreeing to this treatment. So why try and change and better yourself for her?! It is absurd from a male perspective! If you leave, this is the … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 02:25 AM |
| 2 | Coronavirus EXCUSES in dating should NOT be acceptable 🦠 🙈I really enjoy listening to everyone’s comments on the thread. However, please remain respectful of the choices of the other women in the FDS community who choose to date (or choose not to). Everyone has their valid reasons and I believe that if we put our own self respect and integrity first and care for our own well-being, we can find the path that is right for us. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 02:17 AM |
| 1 | Man plans to spend lottery money on his family and childrenIm not going to argue with you about this, with all due respect. We’re both vetting for the same values and high standards for both sexes. I think you are entitled to your opinion. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 02:14 AM |
| 6 | Coronavirus EXCUSES in dating should NOT be acceptable 🦠 🙈Amen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 04:52 PM |
| 1 | Man plans to spend lottery money on his family and childrenUnfortunately yes :/ As if news channels need to make an emphasis on this. No one makes posts about how self sacrificial mothers are on an everyday basis or other relevant issues but this is a headliner | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 03:56 PM |
| 1 | Man plans to spend lottery money on his family and childrenUnfortunately, upon winning a large some of money, many people don’t know what to do with the earnings and end up spending it on insane objects. I think it is noteworthy to see someone LEVEL headed enough to spend it on his family instead of a yacht, a gold studded Ferrari or some other shitty waste of cash. Isnt the whole point of this THREAD and forum to illustrate positive examples of male behaviour that we should be on the lookout for? This man could have easily sent away his family and said… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 03:29 PM |
| 2 | COVID is not an excuse to accept low-effort dates. If sitting and having a meal with someone is too risky, stay home.Exactly! A huge issue is definitely men who will not even suggest a date because they are under the disguise of them coronavirus’. Look you can still do phone calls, Skype dates, order flowers to be delivered or more for your date. It is no excuse | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/20 02:42 AM |
| 11 | Ladies can I have some input please? Why do you think we go for NVM/LVM? Utter useless scrotes , narcissists, cheap, porn sick, cheaters, ghosters? What do I need to work on for myself until I can get therapy?When I was working through my issues with choosing LVM/NVM, I realized that I had a ‘mother complex’. I was a strong and independent women who could ‘fix’ any man who came along. I also was attracted to many qualities of LVM because secretly I wanted to be like them. I wanted to NOT have to make any major decisions, I wanted someone to take care of me, I wanted to cruise through life without taking responsibility of my actions. I realized that my major issue was that I needed to stop being reall… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 10:29 PM |
| 5 | I think she discovered FDS.. better late than never 👑I had to read this twice to notice that detail. WTF ?! A field?! Who does that for a first date? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 03:34 PM |
| 1 | I think she discovered FDS.. better late than never 👑Better late then never. Hopefully next time our queen will let the guy know RIGHT AWAY that she doesn’t do coffee dates and save herself some precious time in entertaining his LVM self. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 03:32 PM |
| 2 | How to get rid of LVM if they try to approach you in public?What struck me the most was your line “I don’t want to appear rude”. Why DONT you want to appear rude?! Girl these shrimps are monopolizing your free time and energy for free! They’re just chatting you up for an hour in public with nothing to show for it! You need to just get away as soon as you sense these types of men approaching. Lie if you have to. You need to think of any sort of excuse to get out : I’ve got to go to the bathroom, I’m actually here with someone right now, I’m going to do xy… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/20 07:32 PM |
| 15 | It's not your responsibility to make your or any man feel like a manLove this message form the movie ❤️ Agree! You shouldn’t need to dull yourself down just because your partner is uncomfortable with himself. A good partner supports you and pushes you to achieve your best and they don’t hold you back. A good partner knows that if you feel successful and accomplished, you are happy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 07:31 PM |
| 6 | Update from guy who asked me why a walk wasn’t a date. Who’s gonna tell him? 🤣UGH yes! I used to be so guilty of accepting these types of dates when I was younger. Listen, if he can’t even plan a fun and proper date when you first meet, imagine how ‘fun’ life will be when you get married! Also if he asks you to ‘meet up’, ‘hang out sometime’, ‘grab a coffee’, ‘just chill’, you can send him somewhere far | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 04:00 PM |
| 6 | Don’t do it sis.Agreed. Even if you don’t ‘believe in marriage’, a house is a really expensive and binding investment . If your boyfriend walks out on you tomorrow, how are you going to split the furniture, where will you go, how much money will you actually get back?! This is a man who won’t commit to you in the long term yet he wants to sign a lease for 20+ years with you?! Wake up and smell the coffee! He is only doing what benefits him without actually thinking about your well being. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 03:56 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020Good for your aunt for picking herself up, setting her standards high and vetting for herself in the dating field after a really crappy situation . | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 04:48 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020Well of course they do. Have you heard the expression “hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned”? When women begin asking for something in return, when they show negative emotions, when they just need more than they can give - men anticipate drama, anger, telling, phone calls at 2 am Ext. And they just aren’t ready to deal with that. I went on a date a long time ago with a dude who said he ‘hated drama’. All was fine and well until I called him out for saying that “he’s not ready for a relationsh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 04:46 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020Gaslighting is any form of behaviour that makes you question your self (your beliefs, your truth, your morals Ext) as far as I remember. Like if you remember those 19th century lights in the city that they turn on by turning up the gas- the same way, someone is creating an artificial light/spark where there is none. I think it could be gaslighting if you are bringing up a genuine concern and he trying hard to convince you that you have nothing to be concerned about or is pointing out that you ar… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 04:42 PM |
| 9 | It's nothing crazy, but I've never been treated like this until I found FDS and ditched the LVM/NVM I had been dating.Totally level up :) A beautiful gift deserving of you! 👑 When you settle for immature and unready men, you set your own standard so low that you can never imagine that there will be a man out there who will spoil you and treat you right | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/20 06:20 PM |
| 49 | Why do we get SO much hate for not wanting to move in with a man??It makes you look pretentious, old fashioned, someone who has a high opinion of herself, someone snobby and judgmental. And people who do move in with their SO are seen as easy going and modern, true lovers, trusting Ext. It is the new ‘trend’. Young couples now a days are more likely to buy houses, have children, own companies/businesses Ext together before getting married. In fact, marriage seems to be this ‘outdated’ act. What I’ve always found funny is that couples today will put off marriag… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/20 06:18 PM |
| 1 | Abstaining from sex - how and when should I tell a potential date?You don’t. You need to get clear as to why you are abstaining from sex and then formulate in your head the response BEFORE he asks you the question. That way IF and only IF he asks you, you can be ready to reply. I wouldn’t offer up any explanations before hand. Let things unfold naturally and when the topic comes up, just be upfront and honest. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/20 05:31 PM |
| 49 | If something feels wrong, don't ignore itLove this! If anyone loves to read, I recommend “The gift of fear” by G De Becker. It explains why we have intuition and how it keeps us safe from crime, abuse, death and other dangers with real stories and psychological backup. I started reading it a while back and it was a life changer. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 12:13 PM |
| 1 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesThank you for replying my dear ❤️❤️❤️ Yes keep up with the posts; we need more people who are not afraid to express the truth. Like I’ve said before on this forum, I wish I read posts like this in the past - maybe I would not have made the same mistakes over and over again | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 12:11 PM |
| 38 | The Real Reason He Should Pay for DatesWell written post and I daresay it could be longer! I agree with the sentiment that men paying for dates is first and foremost generous and the polite thing to do. We are generous with our money towards people we love and care for. For instance, any sane parent will not be keeping bills on their baby and expecting the grown child to pay them back for all the costs of raising them. We treat friends to dinner. We treat family to outings. We don't demand money from our pets. We buy children ice cre… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/20 06:27 PM |
| 9 | Being a Tall womanFind a tall man ;-) Jokes aside though, it isn’t your height. It’s just that men who are insecure and don’t love themselves or you will always find a way to make you feel less than you are. And don’t ever think that there is something wrong with you and your height or that ‘men keep choosing shorter girls.” It will just feed your own misconceptions. Wear heels, stand tall, be confident in your skin and don’t date men who keep on accentuating your ‘height’. It’s just rude | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 12:06 AM |
| 3 | Pickmeisha attitude in Kissing BoothNeed to watch the sequel to this movie! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 02:53 PM |
| 3 | Pickmeisha attitude in Kissing BoothYou’re welcome to point out any plot holes I might have missed 👍🏼 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 02:52 PM |
| 6 | Pickmeisha attitude in Kissing BoothAgreed. I also wanted to add this point to my analysis that we shouldn’t hate on women who are amazing. Chloe is beautiful, she is successful, she is clearly intelligent enough to get into a good university, she is fun and charismatic, people love being around her, she is so easy to get along with. Even before knowing her or seeing her with Noah, Elle catches a glimpse of her through their video chats and already dislikes her. She stalks her Facebook page to find more evidence of who she is and … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 02:50 PM |
| 5 | Pickmeisha attitude in Kissing BoothOh fair enough! Although I took it as Marco congratulating Noah’s brother for the competition as a way to dissolve tension, but also as an excuse to confront Noah. It also was super shitty that Noah was hugging his so called ‘female friend’ and looking all cozy with her after he KNEW that Elle wasn’t comfortable around her. And also Marco knew that Noah had a caused a lot of shit by continuously lying to Elle about spending time with Chloe so I can see why he was pissed: his crush confesses that… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 02:43 PM |
| 17 | You Aren't Being Kind When You Mother Him👏🏼 exactly 👏🏼 I could sign off after every word. No man will appreciate what is given to him. You can sacrifice and help and give, but it only matters if he can get it himself through work and sweat. Invest in yourself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 02:58 AM |
| 8 | Relationship with an expiry dateIt doesn’t - absolutely. However basic human nature states that once we choose someone to be part of our ‘in’ crowd, we pay more attention to them and we give them more importance, time and energy. Which is why it’s important to really guard your heart and your time and to not mindlessly enter relationships unless you really feel like this person has your best interests at heart. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 02:59 PM |
| 21 | Relationship with an expiry dateExactly the words I was thinking of! I just can’t understand why anyone would think this is a good arrangement? You’re setting yourself up for disappointment and wasting time that you could have spent meeting amazing men, traveling, working on your goals ext | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 02:30 AM |
| 2 | 8: Presents 🎁 - Healthy Relationships Series🤗😍 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 01:35 PM |
| 5 | 8: Presents 🎁 - Healthy Relationships SeriesIf you’re interested, I have translated and written about 7 other topics in my ‘Healthy Relationships Series’ featured on my page. They are translated form a course by a famous Russian psychologist and relationship expert. If you are called to do so, check them out :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 03:22 AM |
| 5 | 8: Presents 🎁 - Healthy Relationships SeriesWanting to sell you his bike is so low 🥴 The nerve! Good thing he is an EX now 👑 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 02:47 AM |
| 13 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020Hey! Well from personal experience , it is rare to find your lifelong mate in high school. Don’t count on it. Enjoy talking to guys and getting to know them, but don’t feel pressure to commit or date. As for HVM, I would say high school boys can’t be. High value is added to your life from someone who have resources to offer. And until men can start acquiring their own resources (move out, get a job, get a car, start a business Ext.) what are they going to offer you? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 03:47 AM |
| 17 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020I would let him take the lead. Think of it from his perspective. He met a great girl and asked her out and she accepted graciously. He asked her to be his GF and she accepted. He continues planning dates and she accepting. All is good in his mind ;-) I really doubt he is sitting there thinking “I asked her out for x number of dates, now this means she needs to ask me out” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 03:44 AM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020Why would you want to know who he finds attractive though ? Why create that headache for yourself? Human beings are going to find others attractive, regardless of whether or not they are in a relationship. It doesn’t mean they are going to cheat on you with them. And then by following up with “what are up going to do if she approaches you?” It comes across as jealous and insecure on your part. I would look into yourself and examine why you feel this way about him. Has he given you signs of infid… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 03:40 AM |
| 19 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020Went on a low key brunch date with an old friend. She was telling me about her partner and I was surprised! She complained about his lack of initiative in cleaning and cooking and his sass when she would ask him to to do something around the house. However followed it up with “he treats me like a queen! For example, he always brings me water and he has a job”. Okay girl. I mean maybe my standards are high, but I always considered that a given , I wouldn’t even consider a guy without basic etique… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 03:35 AM |
| 2 | Ok have I been living under a rock?Haha! They can look, but they can’t touch 😉 I think most guys will stare because they do think you are attractive and have that special something. And a well dressed, well groomed woman will always attract some attention. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 03:32 AM |
| 4 | I got desperate during covid and ignored the FDS rules, and now I'm seeing the loser in him and want to break up with him but don't know how to do it nicelyBest comment 👏🏼 😂 let it rip! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 08:50 PM |
| 13 | Strangely I don’t find this to be heart warming. She was a free grieving counselor for himAgreed. Cringeworthy. It’s one thing to support a man who grieves his (wife? Partner?) but anouther thing to fully commit yourself to him knowing his heart is with anouther. Don’t you want his eyes to be only for you? Don’t you want him to have your picture in his wallet for him to gaze at? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 08:48 PM |
| 19 | What is my ex trying to tell me here?Why does it matter? Stop playing Detective Sherlock Holmes to LVM - it only wastes your time and energy. Chances are, he doesn’t even know what he wrote. Just made up some BS that sounds ‘sweet’ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 08:45 PM |
| 2 | Ok have I been living under a rock?Well men aren’t that difficult to understand - they’re staring because they like what they see 🤣🤣🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 08:44 PM |
| 2 | At what point does age/career for men become an excuse to not propose? I think my little cousin is a pickme.Not an excuse at all. I had a coworker who married her man at the age of twenty. They had their first child the next year. They were both students and he worked three jobs to afford the best life for his wife and child and even took care of her when she was sick postpartum due to complications. They have been together for over 30 years now. So it’s not an excuse - it’s about maturity and taking responsibility | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 03:09 PM |
| 12 | How to get rid of the fear of being dumped spontaneously?He can leave you any time , but so can you. Take back your power. YOU should be looking out for signs that he is worthy and if not, you walk. Remember if a man walks on you: HE isn’t worth it. Nothing was wrong with you, it was all him. Rejection is God’s protection. Say AMEN that those f***boys left your life out of the blue | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 03:05 PM |
| 6 | Dating in college - a waste of time?Not a waste of time if you play your cards right. I’ve known many couples who met in college and got married. I wouldn’t go around feeling pressure to date though. It’s a great time to exercise your boundaries and to date men and figure out what to look out for. You can practice some of the techniques in the handbook: getting an abundance mindset, saying multiple men at once, looking out for red flags, finding out how males act. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/20 02:34 AM |
| 10 | "... go for a walk..."“Not interested. It seems like you didn’t put much effort into planning this. I don’t go on “walks” with guys, I’m looking for something more” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/20 02:29 AM |
| 3 | She had me in the first half 😂LMAO indeed.. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 07:09 PM |
| 1 | Who pays in the relationship?But even in a relationship, I think there are definitely HVM who will pay for most if not everything (with you paying for the occasional treat). Most of the men who make you go half or make you share the payload are not looking for anything serious. A man who wants to be with you and win you over usually pays throughout the course of the relationship up until marriage (where most couples have a joint account or at least some type of agreement) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/20 03:26 AM |
| 2 | Who pays in the relationship?I think it’s the way some men are raised (or become through tough life lessons). I’ve almost never encountered a problem with dating a 50/50 man so I feel incredibly lucky. Right from the start you let HIM take the lead: he has to initiate the conversation, he has to plan an actual date (time, place) and he has to invite you. You show up looking and feeling your best: confident, classy, intelligent. And you don’t let the man think for a second that you’re the type of woman to go half on him. The… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/20 03:23 AM |
| 1 | Who pays in the relationship?For sure! And it was not that the woman couldn’t pay or was obligated to provide extra services after that...it was a sign of respect, a way to show off and impress a woman and a way to let her have a break and not have to work so hard for everything. Paying for a woman is a sign of love and respect ❤️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/20 03:19 AM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 26 2020There’s is a technique called “Grey Stone”. Basically every time you are around this person, picture yourself becoming a boring grey stone that is on the side of the road. You are so uninteresting, so unresponsive, so cold that it’s not worth spending a second talking to you. It will give you the emotional space you need to distance yourself from this nasty coworker. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 11:42 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 26 2020So sorry you had to go through that! I bet you feel so many emotions right now 😔 I don’t know if it’s of any help, but I went through an analogous situation. Sometimes we do think too much of the men we “love” and we start attributing qualities to them that they DONT have and making up excuses for them. But you need to understand that he just isn’t the guy you pictured him to be. It’s all a puppet you made up in your head. When the emotions wear off and you can think logically again, you will se… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 11:40 PM |
| 18 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 26 2020Oh yes, forgot to add. A few weeks ago I finally sat down and went through my contacts list and social media and BLOCK DELETED everyone (girls and guys) who were not my friends, who were orbiter/lurker men who added no value to my life, and old acquaintances I had nothing in contact with. I also made it a point to NOT pressure anyone to contact me or spend time with me and have people their space. Let me tell you- it made a world of a difference 🌎. I no longer see their names pop up on my screen… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 11:34 PM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 26 2020Just started dating a new guy and I’m honestly over the 🌙! After countless shitty situationships, I finally found this forum and sat down and wrote a list of valuable qualities I want to see in a potential partner and it’s almost as though he just appeared in my life. I wanted someone generous, who was kind and liked children, someone who showed a lot of respect and was kind of an old fashioned gentleman type. And no addictions like alcohol, drugs, work Ext. He is someone who surpasses my expect… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 11:28 PM |
| 25 | Who pays in the relationship?In my culture, the man pays for everything in courtship if he is serious about the lady. In fact , the man is embarrassed if he lets the lady pick up the tab at any point in their relationship. When a mixed group is out (guys and girls), the men pick up the tabs for all the women in the group or they fight over the bill- but the ladies never pay. In the marriage, the man covers the family budget and let’s the woman keep her own money for her own spending (clothing, items for children, groceries … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 01:49 AM |
| 3 | 7: ⚡️’The Spark’ and Chemistry - Healthy Relationships SeriesExactly. And you don’t want to fall in the trap of choosing a HVM and settle just because “you’ll never find someone as good”. There is a wide variety of flavors of HVM. (I would argue though that drinking and verbal abuse do cancel out any possible HVM this man had - no matter how charming an abuser is still an abuser). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/20 12:23 PM |
| 1 | 7: ⚡️’The Spark’ and Chemistry - Healthy Relationships SeriesI agree. I feel like the first step is definitely ONLY looking at HVM as potential candidates for partners. Then it’s choosing someone who also is someone who you click with. You don’t want to spend your life miserable with a HVM who you have no chemistry with at all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/20 12:21 PM |
| 14 | « ’Being wiser’ often means being compliant and doing things you don’t want to do. This makes you a female doormat. » LabowskyOh dear 🤦🏿♀️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 08:55 PM |
| 2 | 5: Female Value- Healthy Relationships SeriesThanks for sharing! I admit I used to think it was a bunch of Mumbo-Jumbo myself until I started researching and observing psycho somatic illness. And it isn’t just a myth! When your body is stressed, you can break out in hives, have all sorts of skin erruptions, sore spots and tiredness and many other things. I remember looking back at photos of myself when I was in a bad relationship. I thought everything was fine then. Now I see myself and I lost lots of weight, had bags under my eyes, saggy … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 04:06 AM |
| 3 | 5: Female Value- Healthy Relationships SeriesNo problem!! ⭐️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 07:54 PM |
| 1 | What was the breaking point of your breakups ?Good for you for leaving. Awful situation! No one should have to put up with abuse 😭 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 01:01 AM |
| 3 | 1: Interest in your self - Healthy relationship seriesI agree 💯 Shy men don’t get to play the game and date HVW. If you’re shy to the point where it’s affecting your dating life, you need to find help and/or work through your issues. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 12:56 AM |
| 12 | No matter how much chemistry you appear to have over the phone do not be fooled👏🏼 Thank you for this wonderful post. I can sign under every word. It is so easy for a guy to write all the correct things and show his interest in you. There are HUNDREDS of articles, videos, techniques out there ...even word for word texts to send women to show you are in love with them. Actions and real life presence speaks volumes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 11:15 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 17 2020It addresses exactly your question. If you read near the middle of the article, it states that a man who is interested will PURSUE you respectfully and at a healthy pace and will not give out signs that he is uninterested or insecure. He will not give any space for anouther man to come in and swoop you off your feet. Which is exactly why we at FDS say that SHY men are not INTERESTED men and not the kind of person a HVW should be dating. Being shy means a guy is not willing to pursue you. Someone… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 11:08 PM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 17 2020https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e5hyzx/establishing_assertiveness_queen_energy_from_day/ ^ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 01:15 PM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 17 2020Your question in it of itself doesn’t comply with the ideology of the forum. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 03:40 AM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 17 2020And unfortunately shyness is a form of manipulation. He isn’t shy around strangers or colleagues...people he needs to impress. Yet he’s shy with you?! What is up with that?! He knows he has something to gain from playing the “oh I was too shy to ask you on a date “ card | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/20 01:27 AM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 17 2020I would still consider that a red flag (sorry! I know this isn’t what you want to hear!!). The less someone invests in you, the less they treasure you. Imagine finding fifty bucks on the ground versus earning them at work- you would probably value the money you earned through your sweat more than the money freely given. The fifty bucks on the ground is nice to have, but you can’t rely on finding money on the street to keep you living a comfortable life. Same thing with men and women. A man who j… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/20 01:26 AM |
| 17 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 17 2020Well he told you after the first date, basically “you’re not the one for me, but I’ll let you keep doing nice things for me”. So you decide if you think that’s ok . | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/20 01:20 AM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 17 2020You have to listen to your own gut instincts to know the answer. Is he ever condescending to you? Do you feel like something is off? Do you know if you have the same intentions for a relationship? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/20 01:18 AM |
| 3 | Real men do housework - man dedicates channel to cleaning and decorating his family home and even asks son to helpExactly! And in my personal opinion , I’d rather people watch this instead of watching woman cleaning their house all damn evening long after their husband and kids who are asleep. It just makes me so frustrated. Instead of sitting down with a book or a watching a film, she’s running around until midnight with a vacuume cleaner | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 02:14 AM |
| 8 | Real men do housework - man dedicates channel to cleaning and decorating his family home and even asks son to helpFor sure. But on the other hand, we live in a world where this isn’t the norm so a step in the right direction is still better than nothing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/06/20 11:31 PM |
| 13 | 1: Interest in your self - Healthy relationship seriesMhm! I thought that was interesting too. So I calculated that if you go on two dates a week, each date lasting 2 hours, it would take about three months to understand if this person is really interested and invested in getting to know you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/06/20 03:11 AM |
| 31 | What was the breaking point of your breakups ?I’ll start the discussion. I was with a man I was convinced I would marry (despite many people telling me not to and many red flags). I remember that I started having feelings that this was wrong and that I needed to leave. What I think was stopping me was shame and guilt. I thought “well he isn’t perfect, who will take care of him if I am gone and who will want him and love him like I do”. I remember thinking this was for a while. And then one day, I decided to not beat around the bush and ask … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/06/20 01:09 AM |
| 17 | Found one in the wildI think it’s so RIDICULOUS when men think marriage is the same as a wedding and use “expensive, not worth it, bougie” to define what should be a symbol of love and commitment. No one is asking you to spend millions on your big day. As the saying goes “a wedding is a day meant for two people”. Only you decide what it will look like. You want a big wedding? Good! You want a small ceremony for friends and family? Good. I have friends who had a courthouse wedding just for family members and spent th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/20 02:02 PM |
| 3 | Your forgivable male flaws?I had nothing against men who were shorter than me...however the sentiment was not reciprocated. Every man I’ve dated who was my height or shorter has brought it up with a sense of envy and like Id somehow hurt his pride. As someone once said, “I’d overlook his pride if he hadn’t hurt mine”. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/20 03:24 AM |
| 5 | Your forgivable male flaws?For me: being more contained; I don’t mind if someone isn’t an open book or overly expressive in their emotions and thoughts to everyone they meet -being more reserved/quiet...not the Center of attention in the room | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/06/20 01:45 PM |
| 31 | What exactly is a healthy relationship?For me - when you feel like a better woman/ person in their presence. Also, when you feel at ease after spending time with them; there are no petty fights, passive aggression, stress. You don’t have to put in effort or chase, it feels effortless to be with them and right. And you feel respected. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/06/20 02:14 AM |
| 1 | Have you ever dated someone from the past?Oh yikes 😳 You dodged a bullet with that one. Especially after he breaks up with the GF to get with you but right away gets back with her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/06/20 01:55 AM |
| 2 | Block-n-drop questionYou have to realize he doesn’t respect Your boundaries because he benefitted from you having none. He WANTS to terrorize your mind and soul. He WANTS to make you feel guilty. That’s why he still wants to be your friend and have you in his life. So he can keep lashing out at you and leeching off your energy. You are being abused, you need to recognize this. I was in a similar situation- blocked and deleted him EVERYWHERE...EVERYWHERE (FB, YT, Twitter, Skype, phone Ext.). And I felt horrid for mon… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/20 02:00 PM |
| 9 | Have you ever dated someone from the past?However I also know someone who got together will a colleague. They had worked for the same company but didn’t date thinking it was not appropriate. Fast forward, the guy ended up being promoted and changed workplaces. They reconnected at a conference and got together. However, she had overestimated his interest in her - she thought that he had actually cared and the only thing stopping their love was their workplace. Turns out, he only liked her because she was his ‘work wife’. They had chemist… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/20 02:36 AM |
| 2 | Have you ever dated someone from the past?Oh how interesting! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/20 02:32 AM |
| 6 | Have you ever dated someone from the past?😢 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/20 02:32 AM |
| 1 | Have you ever dated someone from the past?Oh interesting! Did he approach you later in life? Was there any feelings when you first met or did they kind of grow when you were adults ? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/20 01:40 AM |
| 15 | Have you ever dated someone from the past?Just to start discussion, I have a girlfriend who went to HS with a guy. They were in different years, but they knew of each other. He never approached her, however they both thought the other was attractive. Fast forward a few years and they reconnect at an event through mutual friends. They get talking and eventually start dating. Within a year they are engaged and really happy. They have a lot in common culturally and in terms of hobbies and mindsets. He is incredibly generous and supportive … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/20 01:38 AM |
| 12 | Rachel Hollis (author) splits from her LVM husbandShe writes in her book that he was one of her first partners so she allowed him to take advantage of her. She would drive to his house every night and feel gutted he wouldn’t acknowledge her the next morning (when they dated). He got a job in a different state and she slept with him to keep him from leaving (although she says she was very religious and was planning on waiting until commitment- and this guy wasn’t really her stable partner). And when she finally threatened to walk, that is when h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/20 12:37 AM |
| 2 | Advice? Why am I hung up on a pick-me friend?Well not that I want to do anything about it. I just want to think of this old friend with neutrality. However every time I think of her , I get angry. Angry that I trusted her and thought we were BFFs and she just completely shut me out of her life and blamed me for being a gossip/a bad omen to her marriage. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/20 04:42 PM |
| 3 | Advice? Why am I hung up on a pick-me friend?Wow, that a difficult situation . Maybe she did block you at the end because she was embarrassed😞 and she knew that you knew her full story and you could bring up the fact that “why didn’t you break up with your abusive husband like you said you would”. But I guess this is similar to my situation too. Maybe my friend was also embarrassed that although this guy was ‘great’ (by her words), he wasn’t exactly as she expected him to be. The first year they were together, she was in a honeymoon phase … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/20 04:40 PM |
| 2 | Advice? Why am I hung up on a pick-me friend?This was quite an eye opening response. Thank you. I didn’t realize that maybe the issue was not in me , but that maybe she was trying so hard to portray an image of the ‘perfect wife’ with the perfect life. And there’s not really any way to portray that without masking a bunch of details. I guess all this time I thought that I had somehow lost her trust or she was too high-value for me LOL I’m not friends with her anymore and we haven’t spoken in a year, but I see her family from time to time a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/20 04:35 PM |
| 4 | Does he have a girlfriend?He might. But he definitely is not 💯 into you. I’m sorry to break the news 😔 A man who wants to be with you, will at least exchange numbers and provide communication during daytime hours and he can’t even give you that. And if he isn’t adding you on any social media - he is keeping you a secret. Guys will come up with a million excuses when they don’t want people finding out about you two seeing each other. “I dropped a couch on my phone”, “I don’t use social media”, “I’m just private” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/20 04:20 AM |
| 3 | Advice? Why am I hung up on a pick-me friend?I never thought about her feeling embarrassed, but for what? Cutting off the friendship? Acting like she snatched the best HVM off the market and realizing that he was just like any other guy? It made me feel hurt because first we were growing together, getting our degrees, learning to make better love choices Ext. And then she found a man and started to act like she didn’t need me anymore. And then constantly flashing him in my face as a HVM and how she is soo lucky to be with him. And yet she … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/20 04:14 AM |
| 7 | How to tell you're being fetishized for your race?How you can tell: -Guy makes jokes about your culture -he says “oh you’re _?! I have a friend who is __, you should meet them!” -He seems way too enthusiastic about your culture: he loves the food, he loves the music, he has friends from there, he has always wanted to go. You catch the drift -He admits that he dated people with your background and he knows all about them -Asks too many questions about whether or not the negative stereotypes of the culture are true -His tone is just condescending | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/20 04:06 AM |
| 12 | He asked me to pick up the check and I caved. Help.If you find it hard to leave a date, try accepting dates that are later in the day. That way, you can always leave because it’s “too late and I have to get up early tomorrow”. If he suggests you pick up the next tab, find a way to SHAME him. This could be as simple as “wow, you’re the first guy who is asking ME to pay on a date??” or “do I look like the kind of woman who pays for men?”. There is obviously no second date after that, but you’ve left a mark 😅Find a way to leave after that “yeah may… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/20 03:59 AM |
| 3 | How much to talk about your sexual/romantic past?😅😌 Well maybe if it’s your husband - that is different. I know married couples for decades who don’t have issues talking about past relationships . However in new relationships it’s a really bumpy territory | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/20 01:32 AM |
| 8 | How much to talk about your sexual/romantic past?I get where you’re coming from. And I think that way as well. However I save those discussions for girlfriends ;-) For some reason, men don’t take those kinds of discussions the way women do. For them - it’s a competition. “She slept with more people than I did so she must be out of my league”. “She doesn’t date much, something is wrong with her”. “She dates too much, she will dump me as soon as she finds a better man”. I always remind myself of that because this is the kind of thing men admit t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/20 01:16 AM |
| 27 | How much to talk about your sexual/romantic past?Personally, I try not to. I don’t think that is any of the guy’s business and it often gives him the chance to make assumptions based on your partner-count. If it comes up in the discussion, I’m pretty vague. Like “I dated in the past”. And if they ask about my last breakup: “we didn’t want the same things so we separated”. Similarity , I don’t ask him any details about who he dated and how many partners he’s had. I’m not interested in hearing. All that matters is how he acts right now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/20 01:00 AM |
| 1 | Got tired of waiting for him to plan a vacation for us, so I booked an all-inclusive vacation by myselfRead the title. “Good for you” 😎 Please update us on his reaction to the booked trip. And of course enjoy Mexico | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 02:45 AM |
| 11 | Forgiveness vs Dealbreakers?Leave him. This letter could have been written about my narcissistic ex who displayed extremely similar behaviours. He would say very insulting things about women, me, his family Ext. and mask it as “I’m just giving my honest opinion, I’m being real”. And when I’d confront him, he wouldn’t ‘remember’ any of it. When we broke it off, he DIDN'T EVER apologize for his actions and acted like the victim in the situation - no remorse. He didn’t try and get back together with me or change his ways, des… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 03:47 AM |
| 12 | Do you respond to men’s texts that are statements with no questions about you?I can only give my personal opinion. When I’m OLD, I try to stay away from any sort of personal online conversations and move towards a call/in person date. So if the conversation runs into a dead end because he keeps throwing in statements or “oh I’ve been offline for a few days-“ excuse, I’m just not interested anymore. In fact, I don’t even think I put any effort into texting a guy online or add meaning to much of what he says. Some people might find it rushed, but if I’m the first few days, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 03:32 AM |
| 71 | Men who can’t plan thingsMany men who are poor ‘date planners’ are men who don’t go anywhere beyond their house/workplace/grocery store and probably don’t have many friends. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 03:20 AM |
| 2 | Should I cut things offIf you’re confused, he’s probably BSing you. I know this hurts to hear and I have lots of trouble processing it myself. I’ve always wanted to believe the best in people. But sometimes the other guy doesn’t really know what the heck he is talking about and it’s not worth figuring him out | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 08:57 PM |
| 1 | Reconnect to old friend-he’s mentioning his weakness to you early on. No guy who wants to win you over is going act like a wounded animal except to get a pity date. -he is out of your league financially -he’s in quarantine and can’t text you every day? Come on. You know the answer :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 03:35 PM |
| 12 | Should I cut things offAgreed. I’ve been in this situation before and my only regret is not dropping him the exact moment he said “I’ve been hurt by other girls before” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 03:33 PM |
| 9 | Should I cut things offI’m glad you posted this! This rule changed my way of thinking so much! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 03:32 PM |
| 3 | Should I cut things offYes. As a general rule of thumb to make life easier, if you intuit it- you need to listen. 💯. Your body has evolved and is incredibly smart and picks up on cues and signals you aren’t even aware of. And if you feel like something is off , it 100% is. Also if you have to ask if, you know the answer is to leave. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 03:32 PM |
| 5 | Early signs of narcissism.Can I recommend the book “Why does he do that: inside the minds of angry and controlling men” by Lundy Bancroft? I’ve read the book I’m a sitting and highly recommend it. It shows women in an empowering stance and reveals all the techniques manipulators and narcissistic abusers use. It also identifies a variety of different abusers you can meet. It’s a fascinating and easy to read book | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 03:29 PM |
| 5 | Early signs of narcissism.Self-Obsession (constantly talking about his weight, how he looks, fishing for compliments), he doesn’t do what you want ever, talks badly about woman and his mother, says “you’re not like other girls”, black and white thinking, doesn’t actually listen to you, puts you down as a joke. The biggest sign is dealing with conflict. Something happens and he : blames only you, gets angry, physically/mentally harms you or threatens to, no remorse, gaslights you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 03:27 PM |
| 6 | HVM not proposing, how do I approach this?Hi OP! Maybe you won’t like this answer, but I’ll say that if anything...this is suspicious. The guy is 35, he has clearly shown his investment with buying a car and meeting your family, talked marriage...everything BUT offering you the actual ring. To top it off, you’ve been dating for over a year. If you read the FDS article on “men know right away”, most men who are marriage minded, decide rather quickly if you are right for them and will be excited to secure a future with you. I’ve known man… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 03:20 PM |
| 2 | Second disappointing man in one week. My major, apparently, is cute.I agree with you. I am simply restating the case argued by both Chloe and Shera in that women don’t have to show up to a date like a job interview. They don’t have to show up and discuss their biographies fact by fact. They show up to the date to see if this man is going to be a good protector, a good provider, is sensitive to her needs, cares about her welfare. In one of her videos, Shera describes her first meeting with her husband. She didn’t tell him where she worked or how much she earned. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 02:00 PM |
| 2 | Tips to be nice and sweet without turning into an idiotYou will be great - good luck :) Remember it’s not about becoming cynical and jaded - it’s about being sweet and open and kind and all those things but also about loving yourself taking care of yourself first. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 03:17 AM |
| 5 | Tips to be nice and sweet without turning into an idiotIf I understand your question correctly, then I would suggest that you focus on maintaining your comfort and boundaries ABOVE all else. There is nothing wrong with being nice and sweet until it is at a COST to yourself 💕 If you agree to something that you don’t like, because you don’t want to cause conflict...then you are being a pushover. As a personal example: you are chatting with a guy online and it seems like you two want to meet. He says “we should go out sometimes. Here’s my number. Call … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 02:21 AM |
| 19 | Second disappointing man in one week. My major, apparently, is cute.What I mean is that the first few dates, men don’t give a DAMN about what your career and professional/study life is. The LVM will either: 1) use that information to see if you earn enough to go 50/50 with them/ to see if you can foot the bill. 2) or they will use it to boost their ego 3) or they just don’t appreciate your hard work and will brush it off The HVM don’t care because: 1) they already know you’re valuable as a woman and they respect you. You don’t need to prove it. 2) they are ready… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 02:05 AM |
| 6 | Second disappointing man in one week. My major, apparently, is cute.She says “Don’t bring your professional voice to a date , bring your sensual voice. Men who are rich and masculine and providers spend all day with like minded people. What they want at the end of the day is a woman who is fun and bright and full of feminine energy” She goes on to talk about other topics like dress, your attitude, their attitude. The main point is, men who are ready to provide and have their finances in order DO NOT see money as a problem and they DO NOT care about your money, y… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:58 AM |
| 2 | Second disappointing man in one week. My major, apparently, is cute.“what rich men like versus what average or bring me men like” https://youtu.be/qH3t4ZyYX5g Starts at 9:15 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:53 AM |
| 2 | Do complacent men ever change?Oh I haven’t seen that one! But it reminds me of any Adam Sandler film ;-) The nice guy who is completely clueless and socially inept and yet he gets with the sweet and caring girlfriend. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:39 AM |
| 2 | OLD how long between messages?:( | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:38 AM |
| 22 | FDS First Date TipsYOU showing up is 90% of the job well done. Your guy could have been spending his evening at home watching Netflix with a beer and microwave pizza. Instead, he had been blessed by the presence of a goddess. 👑 A woman who smells nice, has beautiful hair, soft skin, laughs at some of his jokes. You being there is an HONOR for him. You don’t even realize how much that means to a man 😉 I just had to add this as a mindset to help combat with your first date shyness. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 11:38 PM |
| 27 | FDS First Date Tips-only go if he sets a time, place and date that agrees with you. -Come fashionably (5-10 minutes) late and DON’T apologize. See how he reacts. Is he anxious and excited and waiting for you in anticipation? Or is he flipping out and angry? You see how invested he is in you. If he’s late- don’t even bother seeing him again. -don’t even try. dead serious. don’t prepare any topics, don’t read up on his hobbies. It’s not a job interview. 💼 -don’t impress him. Remember you are the queen 👑 you showed u… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 11:21 PM |
| 2 | Is a guy being highly concerned with his looks a red flag?I’ve never met a man who was not overly concerned with his looks and was not a narc. It’s one thing to be clean and cut. Any self respecting man should be. It’s another to complain about your weight, cover up every pimple with a bandaid, spend hours in the bathroom pampering yourself, retaking photographs because you don’t look good. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 10:50 PM |
| 10 | OLD how long between messages?Personally, I don’t think about it! 🙃 Sometimes I respond straight away and have conversations, other times I’m not in the mood and I will take days to respond. My personal thing is that I ONLY respond when the guy initiates or asks a question. If he gives me a definite statement or ends with a one word answer , I leave him on read. If he can’t be bothered to continue the conversation in text or escalate to phone call/chat/ date...then he isn’t really worth my time | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 10:41 PM |
| 15 | Second disappointing man in one week. My major, apparently, is cute.You don’t HAVE to share personal details (job, paycheck, living situation, studies, goals) in the first few talks/ dates. HE is impressing YOU- you are listening and figuring out if he is worth talking to. You are the prize. Her logic is that if he is a masculine HVM, he won’t even ask you what you do when he first starts dating you because it doesn’t matter to him - he will support you regardless. On the contrary, he will be the one flexing his achievements. That’s not to say you should never s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 10:34 PM |
| 25 | How do you exude femininity?What I’ve noticed helped me was taking up dancing. I took up partner dance classes and I really enjoy Latin dance. For one : you learn how to move your body, specifically your hips and arms more smoothly. Then it is a very sensual dance so it really connects you to your inner feminine energy. And it’s always nice to get male attention (esp. if you have any attractive men in your class 😉). I also really enjoy belly dance. I recommend looking for content online, I really like DanceWithRasa and Sah… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 09:47 PM |
| 8 | How many red flags can you spot in this 1 tinder bio? From start to finish, all sorts of wrong, yuck🤮As soon as a guy starts typing his demands into his dating profile, I automatically click away — do men not realize what a turn off that is?! LOL. I’m pretty sure I’m the one who is choosing YOU, not the other way around. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 09:35 PM |
| 26 | Second disappointing man in one week. My major, apparently, is cute.Speechless. I was actually watching a video online from SheraSeven and she suggests NOT revealing what you do for a living until you’ve gotten to know the person better. She says to lead with your sensual, feminine side instead of your ‘business lady’ side. I didn’t really believe it until I experienced it firsthand. The guy told me “you’re so stable and set in life, you won’t have any problem finding anouther guy!” (Despite having a decent , full time job himself). Obviously a BS excuse but app… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 09:31 PM |
| 11 | Do complacent men ever change?A good guy and a nice guy isn’t necessarily the right guy to be with. Your boyfriend certainly sounds like a nice guy who has done plenty of nice things, however like you said IT ISN'T ENOUGH. A man who wants to see you happy and flourishing will be actively investing time and money in you and will be working to advance your quality of life and create a comfortable future for you. It isn’t enough, like you said, to be someone fun to spend time with and someone who gives you thoughtful presents. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 06:30 PM |
| 5 | Shut the F*** UpI love to tease and joke BUT this crosses the line for me. I would not continue seeing someone who says that to be even as a joke - it’s such a turnoff | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/20 08:14 PM |
| 6 | Your techniques for NOT catching feeling too soon?Well you aren’t wrong - because I do want a relationship at the end of the day and I do translate that. I’m not saying it’s the way to go, but it is the way it is. I guess I am not used to being actively pursued for a long period of time due to choosing people who are wrong for me. But I will take your advice to heart and lengthen the time it takes for me to decide on a person - if they are even worthy of my time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/20 02:39 AM |
| 4 | Your techniques for NOT catching feeling too soon?That is encouraging thank you:) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/20 02:35 AM |
| 7 | Your techniques for NOT catching feeling too soon?Yeah I definitely have that inner voice. I guess that is a sign of a bigger mindset change that needs to happen. I’ve spent a pretty long time rooting for the underdog and giving out chances to people who ultimately did not deserve it. It’s going to be a habit to kick | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/20 02:35 AM |
| 13 | Your techniques for NOT catching feeling too soon?I like the analogy also with the job interviews. I guess because I’m new at the process it’s a learning curve and I’m angry sometimes that I spot some signs and not other and then I finally spot them and it’s already been a few weeks before I cut them off. Then I just feel angry at myself I didn’t see it sooner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/20 01:27 AM |
| 9 | Your techniques for NOT catching feeling too soon?The last part was good advice. You’re suggesting just being a lot more selective - blocking at a first sign. I find that is easy sometimes and other times, I will go on multiple dates and I feel like everything is matching up and going well and only a couple dates later do I realize “oh he is bring up his ex subtly” or “oh he just compared me to other girls” . But probably I’ll just have to learn to block even after multiple dates | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/20 01:26 AM |
| 3 | Your techniques for NOT catching feeling too soon?Good advice thank you! It is nice to realize that I could have been wasting more time with these bad matches. I guess it is also a matter of being able to spot the signs sooner and checking people off even before going on the first date or right after the first date if I realize they don’t meet my standards. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/20 01:23 AM |
| 3 | Your techniques for NOT catching feeling too soon?That’s good advice but how does that work for you? What do you do when you catch yourself? Like when I catch myself remembering a crappy moment and I feel angry- what can I do to diffuse? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/20 01:21 AM |
| 11 | Your techniques for NOT catching feeling too soon?I meant just as I meant when I agreed with your last question. I enjoyed my time spent going out with him - being on dates, good conversation, being pursued. Obviously did not enjoy it when I realized what his intentions were | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/20 01:20 AM |
| 7 | Your techniques for NOT catching feeling too soon?I never really framed it that way. Yes I did enjoy myself and I felt very HV. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/20 12:37 AM |
| 2 | How to get him to spoil you?!Right! I think there is a resounding idea of not being upfront (ie Please buy me flowers for my birthday), but of hinting at your expectations and standards to the man you’re dating (ie I like when a man treats me with care and respect; I love surprises, I appreciate when others do acts of kindness ) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/20 12:04 AM |
| 1 | What dating advice would you give to a teenage girl and early 20s?Have the audacity. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/20 02:19 PM |
| 22 | The 3 times I made the 'first move,' and why I'll never do it againI think ShallonXO said in one of her videos “is this the story you want to tell people?”. And that rang so true for me 😂! Do you really want to go to a cocktail party or tell your kids “well when I met your dad, I liked him so I asked him out on dates and eventually he agreed to be in a relationship with me”. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/20 02:15 PM |
| 0 | Why can’t I let go?If I might ask, what happened? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/20 02:09 PM |
| 8 | How to get him to spoil you?!Thanks for the advice and the personal story! I also love peonies :) what a wonderful surprise! I also read that advice and disliked it. I’ve communicated in the past and even outright said to someone I was seeing what I’d like for my birthday and they STILL managed to disappoint me with a half a$$ed last minute gift. I don’t understand this because I am a very thoughtful person and I notice things my friends and family like and remember them for special occasions. I’m asking for similar treatme… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/20 01:42 PM |
| 5 | How to get him to spoil you?!That’s a good idea, thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/20 11:01 AM |
| 1 | How to get him to spoil you?!I’ll take a look, thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/20 11:01 AM |
| 11 | How to get him to spoil you?!I don’t actually mind that I get downvoted. I know that I am a good person to be in a relationship with and I do think that I should feel appreciation in return from my partner. Thank you for the book recommendation :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/20 11:00 AM |
| 3 | Dealing with someone with no car?I guess I just needed a push in the right direction 😉 I think for me, it is more the principle- how come I as a woman pay for a car and he cannot?! I’ve dropped many guys just for that principle - okay maybe I drive to the date once or twice but what about the future? I’m not going to be driving him around. I’ve told one of my exes that he needs to buy a car because I’m not going to be bussing with him anymore. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/20 07:31 PM |
| 42 | If a woman chooses to forgive/stay with her cheating spouse that’s her choice, but no one will ever convince me that their relationship is goals or anything to aspire to.You will always carry a crack in your relationship. I know people write “after that we had the best sex/conversations/connection in our lives! We became stronger”. No you didn’t . You WANT to think that you did. Maybe I am immature and selfish but I would be lying to myself if I said it didn’t bother me ... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/20 07:21 PM |
| 39 | If a woman chooses to forgive/stay with her cheating spouse that’s her choice, but no one will ever convince me that their relationship is goals or anything to aspire to.I think there is some wisdom to the quote “if he goes one day without caring about how you are, he doesn’t really care about you.” It’s an every day commitment, a relationship. And if you spent a day (or even weeks or monthes), doing something that breaks your partner’s trust and disregards them....then is it really love? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/20 07:18 PM |
| 5 | Dealing with someone with no car?Most guys I’ve met with no cars get by with public transit and they don’t need to drive. But the issue is, we go out, and and then it’s getting late and so I don’t want to take transit home because it takes far too long. So I end up driving there and back by myself. But after a few dates the guy gets self conscious about the fact that I have a car and he doesn’t and I honestly end up not being attracted to him anymore because he can’t take me anywhere off the subway route LOL | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/20 12:51 AM |
| 1 | Why would he do this? Why would he disrupt my peace knowing that I would be pissed.Best of luck with your situation <3 I know this is hard to hear, but maybe you shouldn’t try and figure out why your friend did what he did. It will just confuse you :-: | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/20 10:57 PM |
| 8 | I see a lot of posts on how to get over LVM. But what if you screw up with a HVM?Girl, you will not regret it. Reread the handbook again and really keep an open mind. I’ve had a super similar situation. I’ve dated a man I thought was High Value. He was pursing and taking me out and paying and texting daily. And one day, the conversation of relationships came up and I asked if he was looking to be in a relationship...we’ve known each other for monthes now and I do want it to progress to something serious. And that really set him off. He started saying “you know I’m so slow to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/20 07:37 PM |
| 2 | Why would he do this? Why would he disrupt my peace knowing that I would be pissed.Something similar happened to me. I’ve had a guy friend for many years that I’ve kept in contact with sporadically. Our conversations and time spent together were always light and fun. We kind of grew apart at one point but reconnected (he messages me out of the blue). And then he starts acting very flirtatious. He invited me out to dinner and drinks, we went to all these events. I wasn’t even asking for any confessions on his part, but the topic of relationships came up at one point and he said… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/20 07:31 PM |
| 11 | I see a lot of posts on how to get over LVM. But what if you screw up with a HVM?The true measure of a high value man is how he treats you in ALL situations. If you opened up and were vulnerable with him and he took a step back and said ‘we were just friends, it was nothing all along’, then that IS a measure of what kind of man he is. You didn’t do anything wrong - that feeling you’re having of ‘messing up’ is exactly the kind of mindset of a pick me. It’s natural to bond, to love and want contact with anouther human being. He showed his true colours. He probably just enjoye… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/20 03:49 PM |
| 3 | How would you react if your boyfriend wouldn't go down on you unless you shaved? Would you break up with him? Or would you consider shaving a small courtesy you're willing to grant?TBH doesn’t really sound like enjoys oral 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/20 03:38 PM |
| 9 | I am in immense psychological pain because I want to break up with a dustySomething that changed my life was reading a quote that went “your body will physically tell you if he is WRONG for you”. I remember when I was breaking up with a toxic ex, I spent monthes feeling depressed, shaking, crying Ext. And I realized that this was my body telling me that this man is WRONG for me. You don’t want to be with someone that makes you feel physically sick. The same way you don’t eat foods you are allergic to. I know it feels crappy now, but it honestly will get better down th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/20 03:31 PM |
| 7 | Dealing with someone with no car?But if you were out somewhere, would he ensure you arrived safely? And how would that look? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/20 03:23 PM |
| 2 | Dealing with someone with no car?And under 30? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/20 03:05 PM |
| 1 | Roommate is dating the lowest of low value men, any advice on how to get her to realize?Move out; people like your Roomate are going to drag you down just by existing around you (unfortunately) and you’ll always be caught up in their drama. Or you can ask her not to bring him around the house because your not comfortable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/20 01:25 PM |
| 5 | Why would he do this? Why would he disrupt my peace knowing that I would be pissed.Well what bothers me the most is that after he confessed, he didn’t keep up with you did he? I feel like if he valued you enough and was scared to lose you- he would be making the effort to ask you out or at least be in daily contact with you. It seems like he is taking advantage of you because of your shared history and that you’d ‘never leave because he’s your friend”. TBH if you’re that upset I would just block him. I’ve done that to a male friend who confessed and have never looked back sinc… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/20 01:23 PM |
| 6 | If there's no ring, don't treat him like your husbandI recently heard a coworker say “we have everything except a marriage. We’re just waiting for the right time”. Uh-oh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/05/20 11:55 PM |
| 24 | Why Are One Night Stands Being Advertised to Girls as “Strong and Empowering” instead of “Risky and Reckless”?I never understood ONS. You are letting a stranger enter your house (or you go to their house), you are putting yourself up for risk of being robbed, killed, kidnapped, identity theft and more. Not to mention you are unaware of the types of infections this person may carry and you run the risk of pregnancy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/20 03:47 PM |
| 14 | BF forgets my birthday, tries to make me believe expecting a gift is childishThis happened to me before. Why do LVM think that this is a good excuse ? “I’ve never seen birthdays as a big deal” “I don’t celebrate my birthday”. Damn it’s MY birthday!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/20 04:06 AM |
| 10 | Is this a LVM?I think you answered your question - YOU are confused so therefore HE is confused about YOU. When a guy is pursuing you, you are not confused - you feel him coming on strong and there are no doubts. My guess is he is probably texting other women (since you met on tinder) and he is trying to sort out which one is worth getting with as soon as the lockdown is over. Im surprised he hasn’t scheduled a phone call/Skype with you 🤔 That just shows he isn’t putting in effort... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/20 04:02 AM |
| 21 | Ladies, do you ever stay friends or in contact with an ex or cut them out for good? Why? Or does it depend on why things ended?Out for good. Why keep them around? If they were good enough, then we wouldn’t break up in the first place. It’s like keeping around a rusty old car when you got a new one : it only takes up space. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/20 03:58 AM |
| 3 | You can’t make a man learn to appreciate you by offering him more of what he refuses to appreciate.I wish I knew this before. My ex was cheap and stingy...so I read advice online on how to encourage a man to spend more money on you and give you gifts. One piece of advice was to give more yourself. So I remember making him meals when he’d visit, getting him little things he liked like candy, picking up the tab once in a while. The turning point was when I’d given him this leather belt for our anniversary because his was worn out and he got ANGRY and refused to accept it! When he left my place,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 02:14 PM |
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