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Appropriate_Breath91 Archive

View 2 posts and 48 comments by Appropriate_Breath91 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

Appropriate_Breath91/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 12:25 AM
9

Appropriate_Breath91/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 07:53 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

I waited almost 2 years. Not because of advice given to me or anything like that. I was shattered. I wasn’t ready. Only you will know when you are ready. I’m not the kind of person that seeks to fill a hole in my heart with sexual validation. A lot of people do though; and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it; but that approach wasn’t right for me. I spent my time working out, woodworking, and fishing for 2 years. Went back to my roots and discovered who I am without anybody. In the end …
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 01:25 PM
3

This! Start now man. Just work on yourself a little each day and remember it’s for YOURSELF. So many of us were blindsided by divorce, had our kids taken away to some degree or another, and had our entire identity destroyed because we are men. We never chose ourselves and that left us with nothing. Choose yourself brothers!
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 03:31 PM
2

Firstly; I would stop worrying about what your ex is up to. She is your ex; she will forever be your ex. Keep her your ex mentally. What she is up to has no bearing on you or your value or worth. If she’s openly telling you she’s been having sex with this person or that person; she’s trying to mess with your head. If you don’t share children; I would really consider blocking her all together. Anywho: Getting out there dating at first - especially in your mid 30’s and 40’s - you’ll find most peop…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 06:17 PM
2

Absolutely! I fell for this trick super hard and I didn’t find this group in time; and my own cognitive dissonance cost me greatly in the divorce; and custody will be an uphill fight for me forever now. Don’t fall for it anybody reading this
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 06:05 AM
3

I fell into it by accident. I was separated for almost 3 years; officially divorced for a couple months. Started chatting with an old coworker after bumping into her and well turns out our friendship only got paused because of life… been dating her ever since. It’s been a lot of fun and healing in its own right!! I think remaining single and focusing on yourself is a good thing; but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dating again once you’re ready. And sometimes “ready” is a decision!!
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 07:01 PM
3

Homey, try to practice self-compassion! I struggle to do the same; like many of us here. I held it all in for a year and a half; and the straw that broke the camel’s back was my grandfather passing away during the divorce process and she told me she was “sorry” then preceded to guilt trip me as to why she was not mentioned in his obituary (even though she was divorcing ME - his grandson!) - I SPIRALED!! To put it plainly I woke up at 5am next to a bottle of Johnny walker and sobbed so hard that …
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 04:29 PM
2

I kept all of what was “mine” - a dresser my Dad gave me when I was young, my tools, clothes, and my fishing gear. I got a dumpster and threw everything else away. I regretted a few things here and there like cooking pans along the way😅 but other than that… I really think it helped me move on. I was alone in the marital home amongst all the marital crap for 2 years and I think it kept me emotionally stuck. Maybe it was best for me that I couldn’t buy her out of the house and I had to sell it in …
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 02:35 PM
17

She was a good woman; but she wasn’t right for me. And I wasn’t right for her. We were both committed for a long time; but sometimes people just don’t do well together and it takes age and experience to understand this. Sometimes toxic relationships sneak up on you and they aren’t overtly toxic. I could’ve done without her punitive vindictive everything is your fault and you must die approach to divorce, though.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 03:28 AM
1

Nope, they truly don’t. They should be eating WELL with new outfits and toys weekly on that amount!
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 03:34 PM
1

I’m in roughly the same boat - about 32% and I’m in the USA
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 03:32 PM
1

I don’t think the laws will ever change. I pay $1,040 a month for 2 kids even though she makes as much as I do now. (~$52k a year) That hurts a lot right now but I’m also not earning very much in the grand scheme of things; and I’m so fresh out of divorce I haven’t had a chance to sort anything out. I suppose it’s just sticker shock for me at the moment. I probably spent that much or near it when we were all still a family; but that big lump sum number gets in my head and does frustrate me quite…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 02:27 PM
1

I can relate totally. Stay strong, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 05:03 AM
4

lol no do not sign a damned thing. It probably wouldn’t hold up in court; but don’t sign a damned thing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 05:00 AM
5

Mine did the same thing. Even going back as far as when I was literally 17 years old.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 11:48 PM
7

lol I wasted a year on it 😆 and I don’t even know how I survived
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 11:47 PM
8

I think most of us on this sub have been there dude. Do everything you can to keep yourself alive and as centered as possible - you will be ok. We’re men. We’re designed to go to war and like it. Much love, my friend, and don’t be afraid to reach out if you need to. My wife lied to me too. “For far longer than forever” was on our wedding goodie bags… It should’ve read “for far longer than forever until the woman changed her mind around 17 years in”… It’s soul crushing. But I promise it gets bett…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 04:31 AM
1

I’m almost 20 months into this shit show (trial is in 6 weeks bleh) and occasionally I am still gobsmacked with deep pain. Regret. Insecurity. Self-blaming. Hopelessness. And I do occasionally still cry - mainly over my children and how confused they are. But I can pull myself out of that much quicker than I used to be able to. I know I’m gonna be ok now; and life is gonna be totally different than I expected; but I’ll be ok. I still wish she never left on some level; but I saw a side of her tha…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 05:07 PM
4

Right on, man! I share very similar sentiments!
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 01:24 AM
3

It’s definitely not limited to your ex. Mine was bringing up shit from when I was 16 years old and pretending that I never grew up at all. I knew it was over when I was trying to explain, as 33 year old me, wtf 16 year old me was thinking and why I did… Never again. I was never truly forgiven for even the smallest of grievances
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 02:18 AM
5

Good freaking lord did I experience this. One that really baffled me was she brought up an ice fishing incident when we were in our early 20’s. I had bought her new long johns that were supposed to be super warm. She was complaining of being super cold within 10 minutes. I got super annoyed because I was 23/24 and I was like omfg every time we try to ice fish; I get to drill one hole and we have to leave. 🤣 Anyways, the ex and I were basically the same size. A few days later; I went ice fishing …
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 02:08 AM
13

I’m not gonna lie, brother, it’s been 15 months of separation for me and just when I thought I felt ready… I put myself out there. I’m nowhere near ready. I was with my ex from the time I was 17 until I was 32. I’m 33 now; turning 34 in a few months. First new girl I decided to start talking to; and my dumb ass starting falling inlove immediately EVEN THOUGH my pain has brought me MUCH more wisdom. She had red flags freaking GALORE… and I ended up breaking my own heart (on a much lesser scale th…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 05:32 AM
2

If it’s been a while - start out slow! Focus on remembering technique and just getting kind of a good pump for a few weeks. See where your body is at now - it was 10 years for me and I definitely noticed some odd differences. I was always arm dominant but now I have a hard time getting my triceps involved … it’s weird. I was always active and have a physical-at-times kinda job. Divorce has been a bit like an ego death for me; so I found it easier to keep my ego out of my lifts now than 10 years …
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 12:12 AM
7

Don’t worry about her feelings; or being the “bad guy”. Every man who has gone through this and wasn’t the one to file - wishes they were ahead of the curve! And buckle up. You might get lucky; but women were built for doing their best to destroy their former husbands in divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 04:29 PM
2

Ain’t that the truth
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 04:18 PM
2

I agree with this guy! I got married at 19 and it was the biggest mistake of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 09:19 PM
8

There were definitely a lot of signs over my 15 years with her. I’m sure she would say the same about me; though. I crossed an ocean for her; at 18 years old working a minimum wage job; converted religions; immigrated her to the states; but my wedding band wasn’t good enough for her family. They bought this big gaudy diamond ring for her to wear besides mine. I remember how disrespected I felt then; but I swallowed my pride. Sadly, her family remained an epic thorn in my side for entire marriage…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 04:45 PM
1

I can relate to that, brother. I saw glimpses of this side of my wife as well. But it was usually short-lived; until it suddenly became permanent. And it has not been easy to cope with. I can also relate to believing (very strongly!) that if she would just talk to me - that I could fix it! But if they don’t want it; they don’t want it, man. That’s our version of denial. The problem that has no solution. She was probably emotionally abusing you, man. Own up to the role you played - because we all…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 03:18 AM
1

A lot of it was real. Don’t doubt that. But women are weird; they can switch it up and become somebody else very quickly. It doesn’t make sense to us men. It just never will. But please; don’t fall down the rabbit hole of doubting your own memory. I have too. And it leads absolutely nowhere but to insurmountable pain; and a fog you can’t seem to get out of. You were likely emotionally abused; you just can’t see that yet. Much love, and feel your feelings, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 03:10 AM
3

That is a good bible quote. I don’t consider myself very religious but this one really spoke to me too: "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first." John 15:18
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 04:55 PM
16

I’ve never cried more in my life than going through a bullshit “trial” separation that turned into permanent separation after 2 weeks. There were many, many days I would have to sit down and sob at work. I had intense suicidal ideation while I was fixing a roof a couple times. It felt like my very heart had been ripped out of my own chest and I was just a sad ghost watching myself search for a reason to be. But it slowly and painfully gets easier to deal with. I don’t personally buy the notion o…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 01:09 PM
3

I felt this way for almost an entire year. Then my son told me that he was told by his Aunt that I will forget him. The deep pain in his eyes slaughtered me. That was the day I was able to let go of his mother emotionally; because she did this to my son. I confronted her and she just acted like I was making shit up. I was furious; but that truly is when my last drop of hope disappeared. I’ll never forgive her. He’s 5 and carries pain that he didn’t ask for; that he never deserved.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 04:05 PM
3

That’s horrible and I am so sorry you and your kids went through that. Ugh.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 02:31 AM
4

I don’t suspect so. lol. She told me I should go find a “country bumpkin” once … and it was meant as an insult. But, I just might 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 02:25 AM
3

I was going to write something similar but you hit the nail on the head. From my personal experience thus far: therapy has helped a bit, sure… but what helped me the most was: woodworking whenever I felt like it, making my own hand plane just because I wanted to, fishing whenever I want to, and weightlifting because I want to be the Incredible Hulk. All things I only did when she was ok with it … or never because I didn’t have the time in the marriage. But I knew who I was the entire time. I’m a…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 02:17 AM
1

lol it’s awful, isn’t it? 🫣
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 03:17 AM
1

No worries man - just wanted to clarify! Small natural warm water ponds with gradually deepening water haha. And thanks for responding too; you’re probably right; it’s just a psychological game I am still trying learn to deal with.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 02:59 AM
1

Thanks man. Definitely not comfortable with boats and kids yet. Besides the risk of either of them falling out - I don’t want either of them hooking each other or me in close quarters haha 😆 Just small ponds for now and sunnies, bass, and stocked trout :) The kids love it!
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 02:56 AM
2

Right; just shocked she is even coming after “fishing with daddy” in any capacity, you know? It’s something I’ve done with my kids for like 3 years now (and she was present every time until she left me!) Definitely want to move to that app though.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 02:52 AM
1

I tried to find what the actual law was and I honestly couldn’t find anything except for “if you’re in a boat; you need to be wearing a PFD” (which is a no brainer)
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 02:49 AM
3

I definitely suspect some level of manipulative tendency! Be it narcissism or BPD - I have no idea. I literally feel like she is constantly setting traps for me — because she probably is atleast trying to!
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 02:41 AM
1

Thanks a lot man. I am going to copy what you wrote. I suppose I just get massive anxiety because she’s trying her best to cut me off from our children; and I usually don’t even reply to stuff like this. But I could tell she’s trying to set me up in some way, yknow?
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 02:34 AM
1

You’re right. Thanks, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 02:25 AM
0

I am definitely sensitive to the risk of drowning. I almost drowned myself in 2016 in a fast flowing river that I knew well and fished extensively. I slipped once and it was game over. Waders filled up and I was pinned by the current directly to the bedrock 😅 Still not even sure how I made it out alive. (My kids were actually the push I needed to even start fishing again after that experience) But literally, I only take my kids to small ponds because of that experience. And the stbxw was present…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 02:23 AM
5

I’m sorry, man :/ I absolutely hate it for you. 💔
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 06:26 AM
1

I have “I love xxxx” on my shoulder. God I was such a tool when I was 19… 33 trying to think of something not ridiculous to cover it up with. Literally every middle aged man I knew at the time told me not to do it… AND to not get married. Guess I should’ve listened… 😒
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 09:12 PM
2

Dm me :)
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 03:25 AM
4

Thank you for responding, I really appreciate your post. It’s exactly what I needed; it’s really hard to keep a level head right now!
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 04:09 AM
3

Oh no, I am not. She has expressed intent on trying to get sole custody - I meant I was just ok paying child support/ not her $900 alimony
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 04:06 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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