~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Green flag novels for the feminine ear.Oh, interesting! One of my favorite movies is About Time with family inherited time travel that only passes on to the men. XD | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/26 02:28 PM |
| 1 | If you had to remove all of your "Non-Negotiables" and keep only three, which ones would they be?I was tested as a kid and those test scores were used to place me into certain classes and programs. I happened to meet my husband in one of those programs in high school which helped me feel like we were roughly the same. It would be trickier for dating past the college years though but probably not impossible to judge. My husband and I both have certain "tells". | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/26 02:26 PM |
| 6 | If you had to remove all of your "Non-Negotiables" and keep only three, which ones would they be?Oh fudge, three is tough. Mine would have been: provides enough financial stability to make a SAHM possible profound emotional connection similar IQ I had a few more things on my list when I was dating but kept it fairly slim. My husband met them and more. In some ways he made me realize my list was a little too short and I was missing how important some things, like physical attraction, can be. I used to think it didn't matter all that much. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/07/26 02:36 AM |
| 12 | What do I do in my situation if I'm caught in the older sister zone and how to get out?I think it should go without saying that if you want to make a move that you dump the current bf. Sounds like it's ending in a few weeks when the fall school semester starts anyway. Guys are fairly turned off by a woman trying to "monkey branch" ie, to find a new guy before completely letting go of the first one. The sister thing might be unrecoverable and if the genders were reversed I would say a guy didn't have a chance with a girl who said he was like her brother. Does he have sisters? If he… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/07/26 02:11 PM |
| 2 | Men nowadays want babies to grow up in paid careRPW don't tend to be with TRP men. TRP tends to focus on short term mating as that's what men often want. RPW focuses on long term mating as that's what women often want. RPW doesn't recommend pairing with TRP as we usually have different relationship goals. You can assume the men OPs are with aren't redpilled, OPs posting on RPW tend to directly state when they're with a redpilled guy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/07/26 04:04 AM |
| 1 | Men nowadays want babies to grow up in paid careI also read that post and the majority of the comments stated her health was at risk and their priority should be her getting more sleep and letting him be responsible for baby while he gamed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/07/26 02:52 PM |
| 8 | Repost: How some people are "naturally skinny"I like the OOP's post because it brings attention to the less visible habits and cultural aspect of weight - we so often talk about diet and exercise that I find it refreshing to hear something a little different. In my experience, I've always eaten whatever I've wanted, lived a mostly sedentary lifestyle, and been very thin. Perhaps I naturally have better brain signaling for hunger/satiety cues or a higher metabolic rate than the majority of others, because I wouldn't say I use much discipline… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/07/26 03:25 AM |
| 12 | Repost: How some people are "naturally skinny"Probably more accurate to say the human body has a designated response to eating copious amounts of food that is incredibly useful in certain contexts but wasn't intended to be our constant state of being. The ability to able to eat a lot and store fat is a survival mechanism to prepare for the reduction of food sources and daylight throughout the wintertime. Modern society has simply rendered this practice unnecessary in all but the coldest of places. I do believe though that humans weren't mea… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/07/26 12:58 AM |
| 1 | Postpartum Marriage Advice Needed (attraction, admiration)I don't know exactly what would work but I would think something proactive would be better than something reactive. Like if you typically see them in person every month or two, then telling your husband you'd like to stick down together and plan the next trip is probably going to be more effective than telling your husband you want to be the one to get the final yes/no after he and his family have already discussed possible plans. Or it could be something completely unrelated, like him watching … | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/26 11:18 PM |
| 3 | Postpartum Marriage Advice Needed (attraction, admiration)How far away does his family live? Within driving distance or no? I had a similar relationship with my parents that your husband does with his family and my husband also struggled with it and disliked it. It was tricky to navigate because my parents were out of state and they would be very helpful with the kids but it was irregular due to the distance. I always felt like I had to be the middleman between my parents and my husband as they do not really like each other. As for how you feel, you li… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/26 04:33 PM |
| 5 | women dont think about menI have cold-approached one man in my life and then married him. Now in public I actively try to not look at, speak to, or make eye contact with men outside of the bounds of necessary polite conduct. I read what TRP advised men to look for as IOIs from women and as it listed eye contact and smiling, it doesn't feel right to do that as someone who is not interested/married. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/26 04:05 PM |
| 7 | Postpartum Marriage Advice Needed (attraction, admiration)Can you go into more detail about his relationship with his family? Is it about how much time he spends with them or how much time he wants you to spend with them or something else? How recent is the lack of confidence? Studies show that a new baby in the house will drop a man's testosterone levels. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/26 03:47 PM |
| 1 | The utter revulsion women feel and openly express against the idea of coddling or nurturing their partners like a mother figure is conclusive proof that women do not actually love men for who they areI think higher maintenance or more self-centered people will always struggle to feel sufficiently loved, though there are both needy men and women. From my pov this seems to be a negative quality and I struggle to see much upside to having it. My husband tells me and shows me that I love him well. I would say we're both low maintenance lovers; we've always understood the other's limits and carry realistic expectations. We've both been there for the other in sickness and health. In the times we'r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/26 03:10 PM |
| 2 | The Red Pill Will Never Have Good Prescriptions Because Its Historical Claims About Gender Are Wrong.TRP/RPW is about mating and sexual attraction and not so much domestic roles. They will posit that women are attracted to men who can provide and men are attracted to women who nurture and look like they could survive bearing children, a slight difference from the promotion of traditional gender roles regarding the division of labor. I also believe that women have always worked alongside childrearing. Even elite aristocratic women were largely responsible for event planning, social networking, a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 03:48 PM |
| 5 | Men gotta stop getting offended because woman don’t want them.You also have to be careful about how rape is defined as well. Historically it has been defined as forced penetration and does not include forced envelopment (a woman forcing a man to have piv or anal sex with her as well as forcibly performing oral sex on a man). There's been some pushback in recent years to include all types of nonconsensual sexual encounters. While this doesn't mean we now have an equal number of male and female victims, it's far, far less of a gap. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 02:16 PM |
| 8 | The utter revulsion women feel and openly express against the idea of coddling or nurturing their partners like a mother figure is conclusive proof that women do not actually love men for who they areI could get into anecdotal stuff about how I'm the nurturer in our marriage and it doesn't really go both ways, but a part of me thinks you may be confusing a man's instinct to look at a woman and think of her as small, cute, and in need of protection with motherly care like needing to lay clothes out for them to wear or to wipe their face after they've eaten something messy. It's true that women value strength, competence, and independence in men, and I think it's also true that men don't usual… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 01:54 PM |
| 5 | How do you actually STFU??I have a few posts related to this: Relationship tips while raising small kids https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/7adVnilkyu Happiness guide https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/cTuQF7gS9J Navigating conflict https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/SGEnjVpMoX | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/26 07:44 PM |
| 2 | Is this a dealbreaker?I really like kids and value family so I wouldn't be with a man who wasn't doing right by his kids/a woman he had kids with. Honestly wouldn't be surprised if this guy told his GF to get an abortion and dropped her when she didn't agree in an attempt to pressure her into changing her mind. I think it's really unfortunate that birth control so often leads to men avoiding responsibility and blaming women for pregnancy; while at the same time removing the huge logical reason (pregnancy) women could… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/26 07:41 PM |
| 5 | My insecurities are always getting triggered badly when I date men?If it helps, I got stretch marks on my thighs from puberty and they have absolutely nothing to do with weighing too much. A lot of people get them during growth spurts as teens where body changes too quickly for your skin to keep up. And the chubby cheeks may frustrate you now but that's actually a very youthful feature and will keep you looking years younger than other women your age. When my husband misses the mark with a comment about me, I find it best to pout and give him sad doe eyes. He t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/07/26 03:20 AM |
| 1 | Would you date a guy with a lot of female friends that sees as "sisters"?Neither my husband nor I can recall having a opposite sex friendship that stayed platonic on both sides 100% of the time. For us it's not worth the risk anymore, but we're also very introverted. I do believe it's possible for other people to maintain platonic friendships and get a lot out of them. The cheating thing seems quite unlucky but I guess high school can get pretty messy. I don't think it's super clear at this point whether or not you should pursue him but I would recommend to date with… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/07/26 07:42 PM |
| 13 | RegretI'm sorry that this was your first experience with sex. I think most people can relate to having regrets and engaging in self-destructive behavior when going through a rough period in life. The best place to go from here is to treat yourself with kindness and to avoid temptation. Also to avoid putting yourself in vulnerable situations where you're sort of toeing the line of what you're comfortable with and relying on someone else to respect that and avoid their own temptations. I think a lot of … | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/07/26 11:09 PM |
| 8 | Do most women feel they have to restrain their sexuality to find a compatible man?I could've had casual sex easily and I chose not to partly because when I was dating I knew that abstaining would make me a more desirable partner to the type of man I wanted. There were men who stated they liked women with a little more experience but those didn't tend to be men I wanted to be with. In a world where men had no preference on a woman's past number of sex partners, I still probably wouldn't have had casual sex though. It's been my belief that it would have a negative long term imp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/26 06:27 AM |
| 1 | Older men don't understand how undesirable they are to younger womenI'm with a man my age but I get why women date older. There are plenty of male actors and such who I find quite physically attractive despite them being in their 50s or so. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/26 11:23 PM |
| 3 | Would you say this statement is true?Comments like that can really mess with your head. My mother once told me she thought my body was the reason my sister developed an eating disorder. I feel weird to this day if/when people make comments about me and now avoid situations like going clothing shopping with another woman. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/06/26 12:07 AM |
| 5 | Would you say this statement is true?Some women have figures that are perceived to be inherently more sexual and some women have faces that are perceived as having more mature/sexual features as well, such as your Megan Fox or Olivia Wilde. I do think it's true for some of these women that they would have a very hard time being perceived as innocent, sweet, or modest. On the flip side, some women will have a very hard time being seen as mature or sexual based on their face and figure as well. Clothing, hair, and make-up can emphasi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/06/26 07:54 PM |
| 3 | Would you say this statement is true?People think it's true unless the woman is adopting a more sexy style. I would say I dress for myself and I have my own style, but because I wear a lot of waist emphasis and florals I don't really get much push back besides people teasing me for being overdressed or making them feel underdressed. I imagine if a woman was in goth or wearing sweatpants or something super preppy that people will accept it's for her. It's only really when a woman is wearing something overtly sexual or like something… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/06/26 05:16 PM |
| 5 | Found 🚩 info about a guy I’m talking to- How bad is it?From a pragmatic standpoint, the alcohol consumption should be easy enough to verify within a few months of casual dating. If it seems to be true, then perhaps assume the violence is and then walk away at that point. The political stuff is likely exaggerated as they appear to have clashed there. I once had a conversation with an ex a year or so after we broke up and he openly admitted to me that he made up terrible things about me and spread it around to all his family and friends after I broke … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/06/26 11:19 PM |
| 2 | Fear of automatic cheating or getting an STD aren't the biggest reasons why women won't date bi men. Their reasoning is mostly due to their idea of masculinity.Sure they will. Anyone with a Big 5 personality make up of being more Agreeable, less Open to Experience, and possibly also more Neurotic would make that trade off in a heartbeat. Some people are more collectivistic in nature, some more individualistic. Both have pros/cons. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 05:23 PM |
| 3 | Why doesn't accurate information bring women more comfortI really like data and spreadsheets. Excel is a comfort activity for me. I love to rage against how statistics can be manipulated, misunderstood, and misapplied - the wage gap is one of my favorite examples. People's minds change in private, not really in conversation and especially not in debate. They need time to process. If you get too argumentative in the moment then all they are going to do is walk away thinking you behaved unreasonably and forget the meat of what was said. Let them think o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/26 07:37 AM |
| 1 | How many good women are there?Honestly almost every man and woman in my social circle I consider to be both moral and competent. I'm confident that some people are stuck in social circles where everyone kind of sucks and I acknowledge how fortunate I am that I am so far removed from that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/26 07:19 AM |
| 0 | Fear of automatic cheating or getting an STD aren't the biggest reasons why women won't date bi men. Their reasoning is mostly due to their idea of masculinity.You can't negotiate attraction. This isn't a societal thing that'll shift over the next few generations. It's instinctive disgust. Women are going to feel a certain way about men having sex with other men. Men are going to feel a certain way about women being promiscuous. Not all men, not all women, but a decent sized chunk. Sometimes pursuing our desires or self-expression comes at the expense of being an attractive mate. We all weigh the risks. And yeah, when something is deep seated and emoti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/26 06:58 AM |
| 11 | one sided open relationshipHonestly one of the hardest parts about this sort of arrangement for me would be feeling like I needed to hide the truth from my family and friends. What he's asking for is pretty substantial and extremely controversial; very few people in your life are going to understand and would likely want you to walk away from the relationship if they knew the truth. It sounds a bit harsh, but I think women have a hard time respecting another woman who can't get her partner or husband to keep it in his pan… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/26 07:24 PM |
| 3 | When You Speak is Not When He HearsFor anything done on a weekly basis or less frequently you could probably just stop doing it. Then just be like "do you mind changing the air filter?" next time it needs to get done. For anything done on a daily basis, I think it's fine to be upfront and say that you've had a lot on your plate and have been trying to figure out what to cut back on. Maybe suggest you stop laying out his clothes, but also give him some room to surprise you if he is willing to take on a different responsibility tha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/26 07:05 PM |
| 5 | When You Speak is Not When He HearsI am not always the best at knowing how to inspire. In my experience I tend to have more success with like "girlfriend" type gestures rather than "wife" stuff. Like if I do stuff around the house that I know he likes - make a nice meal, straighten up the master, etc - he's very appreciative. But when I draw some boobs on a post-it note and leave it on his desk or grind for an item he wanted in an MMORPG we play together that hits very different. Also, it seems to make a big impact if I do someth… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/26 06:35 PM |
| 3 | 10 Yr Marriage Devolved to Controlling HusbandThank you, I'm very grateful to my in-laws who were able to identify what was going on and knew how to start the process of improving his health. Otherwise both my husband and I would've carried on thinking I was to blame for him feeling so poorly. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/26 04:25 PM |
| 4 | 10 Yr Marriage Devolved to Controlling Husband> How much of this is my fault and how much of this is actually incompatibility/poor vetting? You knew this man for 10 years and have been happily married up to this point for 10 years as well? There really isn't much vetting that can be done that allows a person to accurately predict what decades into the future will look like. It sounds like he's had a mental breakdown of sorts and I personally think you should consider a temporary separation. My husband had a personality shift this past year … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/26 03:18 PM |
| 3 | How can I go about this?It sounds like you are making the assumption (not saying whether it's correct or incorrect) that you can control this man a fair bit and sort of mold him into what you would like him to be. It also sounds like recently he has done some things that go against this assumption and it has been frustrating for you. Personally I don't think you sound like a gold-digger, I think you sound like a women who is contemptuous of her partner - the biggest warning sign associated with the failure of a relatio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/26 06:04 PM |
| 5 | at times it doesn’t feel worth it to partner with men because of their natureI accept that some things are out of my control and that there are crappy things about female nature that my husband tolerates to be with me. It's a lot of what makes a union beautiful in my eyes; we marry someone with all their issues and instincts and they do the same for us. I don't think too much about my attractiveness in terms of mass appeal. Yes, it's decreasing. I don't think my specific attractiveness to my husband is though. I don't like the idea of punishing my husband for something h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/26 12:58 PM |
| 5 | Are women meant to be alone in the end after all?Longevity happens to run in my husband's family for the women only. It's been the norm they don't remarry. One is helping to care for a grandbaby right now to save on childcare costs. One became very involved with her church, her friends, and her family. One mostly stayed in for health reasons but enjoyed her hobbies and her fridge full of soft drinks and marshmallow cookies. Life goes on, unfortunately. My husband is days older than me. I told him we're going to die The Notebook way (sans the a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/06/26 01:35 PM |
| 2 | He’s on the path to be a multi millionaire but I found him boringI think 23 is too young to try to settle with someone you don't like all that much, and I'm not sure the money is that sure of a thing. For context, my dad knows a literal genius who created an invention that would earn hundreds of millions. It would've cost them like a million dollars to create a functional prototype, and no one could come up with the money nor did they agree to go to investors that would take a cut of the profits. So nothing ever came of it. Sometimes the idea is there but the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/06/26 04:18 AM |
| 1 | Feminism and Independence but only if you are smart and able bodiedRob Henderson coined the term "luxury beliefs" about ideas and ideals wealthy people find it fashionable to say that often screw over the lower class when actually put into practice. I believe not getting married/getting divorced is considered one of the classic examples. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/06/26 03:42 AM |
| 1 | What are your thoughts on Pearl Devis?She seems like the type of woman who found it super easy to form friendships with athletic cool guys in school but didn't quite have the right looks to convert that into committed relationships and ended up with a bit of a chip on her shoulder towards women who have a more traditionally appealing face/body type to guys. It does sound a bit rough to constantly be exposed to really great guys through your family's wealth and your own athletic competence but for those same guys to not really want y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/06/26 12:40 PM |
| 2 | Dad's Parenting StyleI think regarding his parenting, yes he will have his own way but also experience is very helpful. Parents don't get everything right right away and your husband doesn't have to either - every time he rough houses with your LOs he learns more about what they like depending on what sort of mood their in. My boys are 4 and 5 and what will make them cry one day can be completely different the next. And if they haven't gotten quite enough sleep? Oh man, they be weepy and whiny at the drop of a hat a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/06/26 12:25 PM |
| 3 | Was he only looking for sex?Yeah I don't think it was post nut clarity or that your performance had anything to do with it; I think this was pretty much what he planned. This is what it sounds happened to you from my pov: You downloaded an app known for hookups for curiosity, but I would bet the prospect of receiving attention from sexually experienced guys was a part of the draw. Guys looking to hook up quickly often go hard and heavy with the attention and saying stuff you want to hear in the early stages, which can feel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/06/26 12:10 PM |
| 7 | He’s on the path to be a multi millionaire but I found him boringMaybe try planning a type of date that sounds more fun to you? Sometimes people shine better in different environments. There's a psychiatrist Dr. K that said that not using your phone for a few hours before a date has people reporting more enjoyable dates. Too much dopamine right before can kinda overload your system which makes the whole talking over dinner thing seem more dull than it normally would be. But if it doesn't fix itself than it's not sustainable long-term, most likely. Stable LTRs… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/06/26 11:48 AM |
| 1 | Modest feminine clothingI'm cheap af so I buy a lot of my clothes from AliExpress and wear them until they fall apart. I find the Western style wear designed for Korean/Chinese/Japanese women very cute. Stuff like this: https://a.aliexpress.com/_mqqzuP1 | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/06/26 10:03 PM |
| 6 | All I wanted was to be a wife but now idk what to doAlright, I've been ruminating on this for a couple hours and asked my husband for advice. Regarding letting your husband know that you know: the conversation where he finds up that you know about the affair is going to go poorly. Therefore, your goal is to have him find out from the affair partner, not from you. We think the simplest way to try to bring this about is to be openly sad and if he asks what's wrong or asks about your day, honestly state that the coworker texted you some upsetting th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/06/26 04:50 AM |
| 9 | All I wanted was to be a wife but now idk what to doI would guess the coworker is telling you because she wants your husband to leave you and is tired of waiting. I would expect them to start a public relationship in the event of your divorce. I wouldn't expect that relationship to last long without him cheating on her. Personally I would hold off on telling him. You run the risk of him ending the marriage right there, or asking for you to accept the affair. I would take deep stock of your financial situation at the moment and decide how you may … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/06/26 03:01 AM |
| 1 | Redpill tactics are idiotic and have the opposite of the intended affect for high quality womenA man who reads about negging and intentionally uses it/misapplies it to try to hurt or degrade someone is not great ethically, yeah. The original theory posts I remember reading made negging seem a lot more fun though. More playful. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 03:46 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Men Don't Want Traditional Wives. They Want Adult Children Who Can Also Be Their Mommy.Why are you labeling me as traditional and disqualifying me when my flair says RPW and your post refers to RPW twice? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 03:36 PM |
| 5 | Red Pill Men Don't Want Traditional Wives. They Want Adult Children Who Can Also Be Their Mommy.Your post specifically refers to a "red pill woman" but you don't want to hear from RPW? RPW are not simply the women RP men are with; a woman can be a RPW without being with a RP man. Experience is a double edged sword. Most people in the dating market will try to filter out those who are obviously scarred, jaded, or bitter after previous experience. Experience can also break us down, traumatize, and ultimately has the power to destroy who we were for the worst. Anything that has the power to d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 03:18 PM |
| 1 | Redpill tactics are idiotic and have the opposite of the intended affect for high quality womenI mean, if you didn't laugh or find it fun then it wasn't a solid application of the technique. A lot of guys don't really understand how to do it and they just start acting like an asshole instead. I would describe the above exchange as someone being an asshole. My husband negs me (he doesn't know the term, he just has a biting sense of humor) and it's genuinely fun for me. I'm nine months pregnant; if he didn't always know how to find a way to make me laugh at myself I would probably cry. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 03:13 PM |
| 4 | What is a realistic weight/body goal?I had my first two kids at 22 and 23 and went right back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. I was 102-105 at 5'4. Not a whole lot of difference before and after babies though my hips were wider and such. It wasn't a huge surprise as my weight was stable at 102-105 for years before and after. However, last year I gained 10 pounds and then stabilized again. Not sure why, wasn't doing anything differently. I concluded as I get closer to 30, my body wanted a little more of a cushion. You've had four k… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/26 03:07 PM |
| 1 | He says no future but still wants physical access. Did I lose my power and am I right to walk away ?As someone who fell very hard for a guy at 16 who wouldn't commit to a relationship with me, the very best thing that happened was me giving him space for a few years and then seeing what he was up to later on in life. The timing worked out better for us then and we married. He'll think of you more throughout the years if you do not go further sexually. I wouldn't take the risk of seeing him again or continuing the friendship if you really really want this to work out in the long-term. I feel li… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/26 01:50 PM |
| 1 | Redpill tactics are idiotic and have the opposite of the intended affect for high quality womenYeah, some of the RP dating advice does center around getting mentally unstable women or women with insecure attachment into bed. It's similar to scam emails with typos. Most people won't fall for it but this style of dating strategy is about continuously trying until a few do. This type of advice is geared towards men who haven't had a ton of sexual success in the past and maybe aren't the most desirable, but who want to have casual sex with multiple women. This type of advice differs from othe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 01:44 PM |
| 4 | Red Pill Men Don't Want Traditional Wives. They Want Adult Children Who Can Also Be Their Mommy.The 7 bullet points in the opening section are largely redundant; 2 would suffice. I do/bring most of the things on this list. I'm not endlessly patient but would describe myself perhaps as very patient. I'm not married to a man who identifies with or listens to RP content. It's really not all that hard and I consider myself as living a very blessed life. I don't wish I was the breadwinner for a second, and my husband doesn't wish he was the homemaker. I'm happy to help my husband with things as… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 01:31 PM |
| 1 | How do I help my man with financial knowledge and personal satisfaction.Regarding investing, the easiest place for people to start is the 401k company match (if applicable). The second best place tends to be trying to max your IRA. Note that putting money into an investment or retirement account is a different step than actually investing it. For what to invest in, a fairly safe and standard bet is a mix of low fee index funds in the stock market and bonds. Generally speaking the younger you are the lower the percentage of your investment portfolio should be in bond… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/06/26 11:42 PM |
| -1 | AITAH for having a baby my ex-bf doesn’t want…at all.At first I was thinking the same thing, but since OP has had one previous live birth with a different father commenters may be assuming that pregnancy was also unplanned. I don't think we have the information to judge that personally, as it seems entirely possible to have a situation where OP and the previous partner wanted to conceive and split up afterwards. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/06/26 06:38 PM |
| 1 | AITAH for having a baby my ex-bf doesn’t want…at all.NTA. There are times when couples (I acknowledge you are broken up now) do not agree on the big decisions and ultimately the fairest judgment may come down to which one of the two is most affected or most emotionally involved. My husband was done at 2 kids. I wanted a 3rd. We made the decision based on who could best live with being the one that didn't get their way. He had reasons and I had reasons and we did our best to listen, but listening and understanding doesn't mean you have to change yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/06/26 06:30 PM |
| 2 | ResourcesI like Louise Perry quite a bit, she's a frequent podcast guest, author, and host of her own podcast called Maiden Mother Matriarch | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/03/26 02:23 AM |
| 2 | Slutty women are more relationship material than traditional or conservative womenYeah I was a Catholic virgin (still Catholic) and consistently have wanted sex more than my husband has. When we were first married all he really needed to do was walk into the room. A bit more complex now with kids and being further into marriage but I'm always down if he's down. Catholicism is one of the world's most populous religions so everyone's gonna have a different experience, but I was taught a fairly pro-sex view overall, just that sex is best reserved for marriage. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 02:14 PM |
| – | How should women “take accountability”?Processing emotions in the prefrontal cortex of your brain rather than just the limbic system. Understanding how your behavior affects the people around you. How their actions affect their goals. There was a post earlier where a woman said being a good girl didn't work so now it was time for a hoe phase. Accountability would look like: - analyzing what actions she performed during the time her goal was LTR to see how this aligns with a good girl strategy - seeing where she may have fallen short … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 04:55 PM |
| 1 | What do you think the problem is with current women's media, and what do you wish it was like instead?Isn't Clavicular following the same strategy that women have been doing for years in places like r/vindicta? | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/02/26 02:14 PM |
| 1 | Men say they want “good girls” but they reward hoesYeah though I wasn't married until 21 and had 3 different LTRs in that time period. I find being 18-21 can make it harder to find LTRs for a lot of people. College guys (especially on female dominated campuses) can be too young for something serious and older guys see you as too young. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 01:56 PM |
| 1 | Men say they want “good girls” but they reward hoesIdk man, I was a "waiting until marriage" type and spent maybe a few weeks total without a guy into my life from when I was 18 until I was married. My dance card was pretty full. Sometimes it's not who you are but where you are/where you're looking/who you know. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 01:13 PM |
| 12 | Trying to discern prudence vs fear in a post divorce leaderUgh, I personally get turned off of men who are very jaded based on past negative experiences with women and carry their baggage into the present/future relationship. Yes, this is fear-based. Just as you like the feeling of security, he also craves that and seems to have trouble feeling it based on his past experiences. I myself am someone who likes to explore dark hypotheticals I don't intend to ever experience - I've have conversations with AI about the likelihood of divorce or what my life wo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/26 04:10 PM |
| 5 | Dating younger full of potential men?Sure, I mean my husband and I got married in our early 20s so I'm not saying it can't happen (though my husband is not conservative), but the 23 yo saying he values traditional relationships isn't enough for me to ascertain whether he would be the kind of man to make that kind of commitment young. Sometimes guys just like the idea of a girlfriend who cooks for them and is submissive but that doesn't always mean they want to follow through on the traditionally male stuff. I think OP needs to ask … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/02/26 11:43 PM |
| 10 | Dating younger full of potential men?Manipulation is one thing, but I would advise against the quant guy because there's no respect there, seemingly. You won't be able to hide how you feel about him in the long-term and nearly all men will be deeply bothered by a lack of respect from their partners. The thing about younger men is that you will likely want to be married (from the sound of it) around 30 or so and they won't feel that same time pressure. You can mold a man to some extent, but you can't make him propose. But I see no h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/02/26 11:36 AM |
| 6 | You're not marrying a millionaire, so stop worrying about it.Worth noting that a lot of those 50+ millionaires are middle class people who saved like 2 mil over the course of their life to have a comfortable or early retirement. Retirement estimates are roughly 25x or 30x your annual expenses. This often does not allow the typical upperclass lifestyle that people think of when they hear a million dollars. These households were and will always be middle class spending $50-100k a year. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/26 01:39 PM |
| 8 | How promiscuous do you consider yourself to be?I consider myself fairly sex positive but lost my virginity to my husband after a few months of dating + friends beforehand. Sex is great, I just reserve it for one specific person. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/26 01:45 AM |
| 5 | What do you all think about very short/naked clothes?Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with having that opinion. I think the truth is that it makes some people uncomfortable and some people titillated(which can then make them or the people around them feel uncomfortable) while many others will be indifferent. I personally feel it's just part of our civic duty as humans to watch how we present and behave ourselves in public, so I don't really care if people are seeking out social opportunities where a unique kind of dress is expected but l… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/02/26 03:00 PM |
| 1 | You're a slim, shorter (5'5 and under) 20-something Girl. What Are Your "Asks?"I wanted a man with the same values that would be able to support me as a SAHM and wanted kids. Someone I was attracted to. Height around 5'9 or taller, not overweight. Mentally stable, doesn't regularly drink or use drugs. I wanted a strong connection with similar IQs and compatible senses of humor. Less than 10 years older, preferably less than 5. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/26 11:42 PM |
| 3 | What’s keeping the red pill alive?I mean, I just like responsibility and self improvement and psychology/sociology/evo psych that relate to relationships, sex differences, and parenthood. To other people red pill is something different but to me that's what's attractive about it and why I read, write, and watch content related to it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/26 05:09 AM |
| 1 | If you want kids, why?I enjoy kids and babies, and I enjoy my husband and my own company so little people with our DNA who will one day be big people with our DNA is cool. More people I like in the world. Pregnancy is a mixed bag but for me it's easier on me than 9-20 menstrual cycles would be. Didn't get much in terms of lingering body changes, I pretty much go right back to how I look when not pregnant. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/26 05:01 AM |
| 1 | Why didn't men want to date successful women in their 30sSure, but quality of options is different than quantity of options, and there's no reason why a woman at say the top 10-15% wouldn't end up with a guy in the top 5%. That sort of thing is very common in hypergamy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/26 11:51 PM |
| 4 | Why didn't men want to date successful women in their 30sBecause women tend to date their socioeconomic equal or higher. If women only date their equal or better, the higher a women is to the top, the less viable men. Being rare as a woman often does not equal a ton more options. I can tell you as someone with a higher IQ that wanted to date someone roughly the same or higher intelligence, it cut my dating pool by ~95%. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/26 07:38 PM |
| 4 | Why didn't men want to date successful women in their 30sLmao, probably depends on the engineering degree. Electrical/mechanical engineers run in my family and they seem super stable. My family is a lot of engineers, mathematicians, software/IT, accountants, etc. I know a few who make very large salaries like yours (and live in VHCOL areas like yours) but it's not the norm in my social circle so I'm a bit out of my depth. Dating guys that make less has its own share of issues but I think the biggest danger is a guy who feels inadequate because of the … | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/26 06:50 AM |
| 7 | Why didn't men want to date successful women in their 30sYeah, it does suck. I'm quite squarely in the middle class world, but as far as I know, the best thing for women dating in the upper class is to use what networking you have. You're in a male dominated career so that kinda helps, but I would definitely inquire with married friends or your family if they know someone who might be a good fit for you. Would you or have you gone for guys that are your intellectual equal and more mature but don't make quite as much money? Like an actuary or an engine… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/26 05:25 AM |
| 8 | Tradwives, do you believe that women need to develop independence before they get married?I don't think I'm typical, but I do give the advice to any woman who wants to be a SAHM to save money, maintain ties with community/supportive friends and family, and buy the necessary insurance. Single women face risks too, and could just as easily become injured or sick or fired or whatever else. We all need to be assessing our personal situations for risk and managing them appropriately. Life can turn on a dime for any of us, so I pretty much give everyone the advice to live below their means… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/26 05:10 AM |
| 11 | Why didn't men want to date successful women in their 30sYou're running into one of the worst realities of the concept of hypergamy - which refers to women usually dating their socioeconomic equal or better, and men usually dating their socioeconomic equal or lesser. Unfortunately, women like you with very high income, beauty, and intelligence (judging from the career in tech) do have a hard time finding a good match because the men at your level or higher are rare AND have a ton of options when dating - while women like you are rare with very limited… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/26 05:00 AM |
| 2 | Tradwives, do you believe that women need to develop independence before they get married?Of course, but if we were to divorce and split our assets in half we'd both still be way ahead of our peers in terms of net worth. We'd be fine. I don't particularly need child support or alimony, we don't really do the whole life style inflation thing so a modest salary would be fine for me and I'm not concerned about my husband's income. I tend to spend my free time on intellect pursuits and hobbies that are relevant to my degree and would be impressive enough for me to talk about in a job int… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/26 04:46 AM |
| 3 | Tradwives, do you believe that women need to develop independence before they get married?EC stands for Endorsed Contributor. You're confusing two different concepts. "The Wall" typically refers to a phenomenon on dating sites where women see noticeably less matches once they hit 30 and it continues to decrease. Women are considered over their peak physical beauty/fertility at 25 but they won't notice much of a decline in male attention for some time due to their RMV likely rising and the average age for first marriage being 28 for women and 29 for men in the US. I am pregnant and ha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/26 04:22 AM |
| 12 | Why didn't men want to date successful women in their 30sYeah, I wouldn't quit your job anytime soon. I'm quite risk averse so I don't see quitting before marriage as making much sense. You never know with men. I dated someone five years older once and my next boyfriend was more mature than he was and the same age as me. Sometimes you've gotten just keep trying. If you're having a lot of crappy dates, I heard a psychiatrist recommend a technology detox the hour before your date starts. Makes it easier for your brain to feel excitement. There's also a … | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/26 04:14 AM |
| 16 | Why didn't men want to date successful women in their 30sDoctors and pilots have relatively high divorce rates despite being well-respected well paying jobs. There's a big correlation between work life balance in a career and divorce rates (though I'm sure the nurses and flight attendants don't help). On the other end of the spectrum, jobs known for good pay and good work life balance have lower divorce rates. I don't know what your career is but unfortunately if it's limiting your time and several men are thinking it would cause conflict than it does… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/26 03:54 AM |
| 9 | Tradwives, do you believe that women need to develop independence before they get married?I'd be surprised if you could find an EC in the history of RPW who says women "need" to get married or that the wall is at 25. I knew I wanted to get married and be a SAHM young so I stayed at home and worked part time while I got my college degree. I had about $10k saved by the time I graduated. There are no guarantees in life and risks to whatever path you choose. Save money, buy disability/life insurance, and retain connections with family and friends so that you'll always have some back up o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/26 03:39 AM |
| 3 | Is it worth it to date as a teen?I was 11 when I decided I didn't want a relationship if I didn't think there was marriage potential and this meant I didn't date a ton until I was 18. Honestly sometimes the best thing you can do at this age is to be known as "the kind of girl you marry" and just be friendly and warm to guys you think are nice and see what people are up to in college in a few years to start something serious. I met my husband at 16 but we didn't date until we were 20. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/02/26 03:29 AM |
| 8 | At what age do you think a woman’s “sexual market value” is highest and why?That's likely because women's testosterone levels rise throughout their 20s and peak in their 30s. Testosterone is responsible for sex drive and confidence. When a woman feels the most beautiful + sexual is going to be very different than when a man finds her so (though of course, men often can very much appreciate the increased sex drive + confidence boost). | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/02/26 02:58 PM |
| 16 | At what age do you think a woman’s “sexual market value” is highest and why?Data shows men of all ages rate women in their early 20s as the most physically attractive/highest SMV. Late teens have a very high amount of buccal fat still which makes them a bit too girlish to have mass appeal. Most men want a young woman but she still has to look like a woman. Female attractiveness viewed through a male gaze prioritizes fertility markers: healthy long hair, smooth skin, a sizable amount of buccal fat (but noticably different that what we see in teens and kids), color in lip… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/26 09:18 PM |
| 15 | How to not resent my husband over housework?Is he doing what we think of as traditionally male stuff like tax filing, bill payments, lawn care, trash, etc? Does he spend time with the kids? My husband is a logical man who cares for me very much. If I felt I was doing too much and say, tracked how I was spending my time in 15 minute intervals in a spreadsheet for a week and then presented to him how many hours I was working a week, what my responsibilities were, how much time each task was taking, that I would feel confident we would find … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/26 04:44 PM |
| 1 | Waiting until marriage questionI knew two men in their early twenties who were not religious but wanted to practice abstinence from sex. I agree it's quite uncommon. If you're very young and inexperienced, which it sounds like you are, I recommend you follow a strategy of: - waiting to date until you're ready for a serious relationship that could result in marriage - dating men you could see yourself marrying - dating men you find yourself very attracted to Not saying you need to give up the abstinence idea but maybe be open … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/26 04:51 AM |
| 2 | Resting in femininityMy husband usually works at home but on the days he goes into the office it means the most when he can tell that I'm happy he's come home. A smile and a hug and a readiness to greet him means the most. I wear a lot of sundresses and stuff. You can Google what looks best via your color palette and body type if you're interested in that sort of thing. I go for warm colors and waist emphasis. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/26 04:23 AM |
| 3 | Sensitive husbandI think if you don't want to be saying stuff like this then don't - just figure out what he likes and do it if you feel willing. No need to ask if he wants to eat, if he's missed a meal bring him a snack. If he seems down you can suggest watching a movie and snuggling later or whatever your comfort/intimacy activities are. Based on what you've written in and the fact I'm in armchair psych mode right now, I advise you to be familiar with the warning signs for depression in case this behavior beco… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/26 04:06 AM |
| 1 | Would you date a man who makes less than you?Yeah there's a big difference between wanting to maintain an income stream as to not be/feel entirely dependent and refusing to contribute to your household finances. Only way it makes sense to me is if the amount set aside for the woman's savings and discretionary spending is very low and she's working odd jobs here and there to supplement. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 09:31 PM |
| 2 | Would you date a man who makes less than you?No, wanted to be a SAHM. Always seen my role as one that contributes financial value by reducing expenses. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 09:04 PM |
| 3 | Worried I will come off as career driven or too educated when I’m not. Should I avoid a masters try to change into a helping career?I think you'd be better off saving what you can now (aim for hitting your company match goals for your 401k and maxing your Roth IRA every year) and then transitioning to a part time field when you start having kids that doesn't require a degree. I think having 50k saved is going to give you more options when you're 32 then going back to school for a field you don't sound particularly passionate about. Childcare facilities at churches, daycares, gyms, while likely allow you to take your kids alo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/01/26 08:58 PM |
| 19 | Should I spend more time with him or not?To be honest, this sounds like a relationship that might work only if you never move in together or get married and if you were also in your 40s and had given up completely on dating and were just looking for a way to kill time. Since you're 29, it's time to cut your losses on this one. Poor finances (I'm guessing there's also credit card debt he's not telling you about and is maxing out the cards/just making minimum payments) and social media addiction are not something you're going to be able … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/01/26 07:10 PM |
| 4 | I feel like not being ready to have kids is holding me back in relationshipsOh, I'm not denying that you feel social pressure. I just doubt anyone out there wants you to be forced to have kids you don't want. People have an idea of what makes a good or complete life and will give advice or try to nudge you along in the direction, but that's very different than people wanting to drag you along against your will. Maybe ask yourself this: how easy would it be for an acquaintance to know that you're not ready and am apprehensive about starting a family? Are you wearing t-sh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/01/26 05:12 PM |
| 5 | I feel like not being ready to have kids is holding me back in relationshipsHow old are you? When I was an older teen I was frustrated that I couldn't feel sexual attraction or desire much but I didn't want to get bogged down by labeling myself or putting myself in a box. Just kept meeting people and living life and eventually found someone I was/am very attracted to. You come across as fairly neurotic and not open to experience. Push back on your worries, try new things once in awhile, and spend some time in your comfort zone when you can't. You're going on dates to se… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/01/26 03:43 PM |
| 7 | Is hanging out with a guy and giving him status through having a girlfriend a value red pill women can provide men?I would assume it does depend on the social circle of the men and women. If you're a woman whose female social network has a negative view of marriage, the getting married is not going to be a status marker for you. If you're a man whose male social network has a positive view of marriage, it is a status marker. My husband is surrounded by older men that are successfully married/rarely divorced. Marriage was a big step towards him getting taken seriously by his family and in his career as well a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/01/26 03:38 PM |
| 6 | Partner ended things due to work/life overwhelmOnce you broke up the first time, it was a huge blow to the trust between you two. Men really value loyalty. At first I think they like getting back together because it can help any pain they're feeling in the short-term, but long-term almost no man wants to get serious with a woman who's proven herself to be a flight risk. Breaking up and getting back together shortly after is often going to be seen as a unhealthy power play. Unfortunately, it seems like this man was initially happy to get back… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/01/26 07:09 PM |
| 7 | Am I a redpill woman?I mean, a lot of times in life you have to fight to figure out what you want and what makes you happy. You could move to a safer place, find something WFH, and stay single if that's what you want. If you like your boyfriend and he wants kids, then yeah you have to decide to have kids or break up. Some women post here about being with ambitious boyfriends who want to be DINK, so that does exist if you want man+career only, but those men also typically put a lot of pressure rof their partners to e… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/01/26 03:44 PM |
| 13 | Is this okay?Cynical take: I think he's trying to cheat on you. I think men will typically try to make it seem like they're leaving or thinking about leaving their wife to get other women into bed. You can't control him, and this behavior is absolutely him putting himself over you and your marriage and is a very bad sign. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/01/26 03:32 PM |
| 3 | How to deal with some manosphere guys degrading women?People who post stuff like that online usually suck at making themselves happy and now are trying to find an outlet for their negative feelings in an attempt to feel better (venting and talking crap about people are not good ways to make yourself happier). People who seek stuff like that online and read it also suck at making themselves happy. If you've learned enough to know how to avoid men who operate like this, stop engaging with this stuff and go find something to do with your time that mak… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/26 12:38 AM |
| 5 | Post-pregnancy expectations, power, and the law: Do marriage and divorce systems discourage mutual effort?I don't think so. Single mothers still face significant poverty risks, much more than single fathers. It would be much harder for me to find a good match being a divorced mother than when I was single. The risk that my husband leaves me becomes much more serious once kids are involved. If men don't get married they are risking getting significantly less custody of their children. The legal system is quicker to recognize husbands having a right to their children than biological unmarried dads. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/26 01:01 AM |
| 15 | feeling embarrassedIf you guys had been drinking it may have been a case of him appreciating your look but not necessarily feeling up to performing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/01/26 08:11 PM |
| 25 | How do you see the traditional wife role—toughest job or easiest path?Honestly for me it's been fairly easy. I mean, there are some growing pains and you have to recalibrate from time to time if things aren't working. But yeah, I think my role is significantly easier than my husband's and I have no desire to do what he does. I think being a SAHP is more difficult than being single (no kids) and working a fair bit of the different full-time jobs though. I think SAHPs deserve respect for the work they do, but I don't think it's the toughest job out there by any stre… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/25 07:11 AM |
| 7 | What did your partner get you for Christmas?Mine didn't get me anything. He's not a big gift giver or receiver; so when we got married I negotiated higher monthly discretionary spending for me and just let him off the hook for gift giving. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/25 10:02 PM |
| 2 | What is the most attractive bmi ?+1 to men valuing waist to hip more than BMI. Squats and hip thrusts will help. Shapewear for the simplest way to improve this metric (temporary though). | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/25 09:56 PM |
| 3 | I (30 F) feel like I'm running out of timeAim to practice cooking 1-2 hours a week, learn more about finances 1-2 hours a week, and spend 3-5 hours a week on dating. Don't let fear of rejection stop you from moving forward with what you want in life, but if you feel like you have weak spots then there's no harm in setting some time aside to work on them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/25 02:56 PM |
| 1 | I want to escape my body sometimes..Yeah, every time I have had a man do something sexual or romantic to my body that I didn't want, I also felt that disconnection between the body and soul that you are describing. Like my true self is this tiny little thing that's contained within the much larger physical body. For me this feeling did slowly fade with time after these types of situations with men largely ceased. I would consider asking an AI like Gemini or Chatgpt to help you find "world famous highly experienced psychologists" i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/12/25 05:03 PM |
| 41 | Do most men really want a woman that brings them peace or do they like the chaos?This man is showing the telltale signs of being fundamentally broken (the bad childhood, the inability to make it past the initial attraction and infatuation phases of dating, the weird break up behavior, etc). There was nothing you could have done. His brain is screwing him over and he's not doing the work to take control. I wouldn't make drastic changes to your dating strategy based on broken men. Non-broken men who are stable and safe like women who are stable and safe, ie "peace-giving". Kee… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/25 02:55 PM |
| 3 | Am I wrong for seeing a male provider behind my partners back?I had a male OBGYN. His wife was a nurse helping his practice and she attended every event where they had to do stuff down there - for my comfort and sense of safety that there was a professional female and potential witness in the room I guess. He was older, like in his 60s. Vaginas kinda lose their appeal after doing OBGYN stuff to them for decades. No doctor is going to cut inside your body and then be like "oh damn, a uterus, how sexually titillating". Dehumanizing the human body is literall… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/12/25 02:48 PM |
| 3 | Working or SAHM?I wanted to stay home from the start. I had a SAHM growing up and it was awesome from a kid's perspective. I wanted to give my kids at least a good of a childhood as I had. I've been a SAHM about five years now. It's not all sunshine and rainbows and if you're unhappy, you do have to put in work to figure out what's wrong and what you can do differently to increase your happiness. Sometimes for me that has been focusing more on intense hobbies that provide a sense of completion and intellectual … | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/25 05:34 PM |
| 3 | F (25) another rantEh, there's a lot of partner work in OF and a lot of coercion behind the scenes of cam work in general. Also the doxxing risk and the unique risk that men repost your content for free, inhibiting your income in a way they can't do with in-person sex work. It all kinda sucks. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/25 05:52 PM |
| 10 | F (25) another rantFun fact: the Catholic Pope at the time of the birth control pill (the one who wrote Humanae Vitae summarizing the Church's stance on artificial birth control) condemned it, with one of the main reasons being that he was concerned society would move in a direction of increasingly objectifying and disrespecting women. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/25 05:49 PM |
| – | Is Don’t Worry Darling a redpiller’s dream?Is it rp men's fantasy to spend a whole work day making money for their female partner to live a stimulated dream life, while spending a lot of time outside the work day caring for their female partner's body? So they do all the work and get what, like 20 hours a week in the dream world while the women are there 100% of the time? No. Wtf. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/12/25 02:07 PM |
| 41 | Women, what is the reason you don’t do onlyfans? (not trolling)I'm attractive enough that I had other options that were very good, and not so attractive that OF was my best option. Also, I'm not going to voluntarily build my life around spending time on men I don't like or admire. It would damage my view of men. I hang out with really great men and really great women so that I have a positive view of both sexes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/12/25 01:39 PM |
| 3 | book recommendationsA Man's Guide to Women by the Gottmans for your boyfriend. Not traditional but a science-based approach that considers gender differences. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/12/25 10:44 PM |
| 1 | Partner weight gain as a way of stabilizing sex life?I understand from your other posts that this is a bit of a messy situation. Right now things seem to be working for you. If you keep leading him down this point or if his goals or mindset change at some point, he likely will come to realize on some level the part you've played in this. You are risking him dumping and resenting you forever. I would be extremely wary of coming between someone and their health. They are more likely in the long-term to choose their health over you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/12/25 03:03 AM |
| 2 | Boyfriend won’t cook and there’s no food in his house eitherIt's in the comments. https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1pl18l7/comment/ntpaksc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/12/25 02:33 AM |
| 4 | Partner weight gain as a way of stabilizing sex life?Increased levels of fat in men means increased levels of estrogen and decreased testosterone. Increased estrogen levels sounds like it's what's behind the personality changes you're seeing. If he is now considered overweight, you should feel funny, as this is a direct threat to his health and can lead to many serious conditions including increased cancer risk. If he has a healthy BMI are you two are content with the changes, then flip to maintaining weight instead of gaining. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/12/25 12:36 AM |
| 8 | Boyfriend won’t cook and there’s no food in his house eitherStop trying to lead the horse to water and make it drink. No one learns unless they want to. Maybe switch to picking up stuff at the grocery store that requires no work - bread, sandwich meat, baby carrots, premade wraps, healthy cereal, milk, bananas, and calling it a day. Knowledge gaps like this are only able to be properly utilized for your benefit if the one lacking knowledge appreciates the skill the knowledgeable one brings to the table. In other words, it's a bad sign he views it as wome… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/25 10:53 PM |
| 5 | just turned 21, worried about SMV peak, hitting the wall, afraid of agingYou might not be as attractive as you were at 22 when you're 32, but you can raise your attractiveness relative to your peers much easier the older you get. I stand out more (in a good way) in my age group in my late twenties than I did in my early twenties for sure. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/25 03:49 PM |
| 20 | just turned 21, worried about SMV peak, hitting the wall, afraid of agingIf you are ready to pursue a serious relationship now, start looking. If you are not, focusing on improvement in other areas. Beauty is far from being the only thing men value in women. Either way, when you're anxious about something, an effective way to deal with it is to become proactive and try to perform one positive action that combats what you're worried about. So go for a walk today, eat some vegetables, wash your face, or whatever. A lot of what we think of as aging is just poor nutritio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/25 01:57 PM |
| 1 | Why are Men are obligated to pay but women are not obligated todo anything?Bro I would be happy going to the Costco food court and getting a hot dog and a soda for $1.50, it doesn't have to be crazy complicated for either side but I get that a lot of people are dressing/spending to impress. Just don't spend more than you're willing to. Men might be okay with a women showing up underdressed with no make-up but the likelihood that they will treat her differently than if she showed up looking significantly more attractive is high. Same in reverse, probably, with how the m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/12/25 08:45 PM |
| 6 | Can you keep a marriage happy forever with the same set of strategies that worked at the start? What destroys once-happy relationships?I was listening to Arthur Brooks talk about how to stay married the other day (I talk about him in a few of my comments, he's very competent and has been married for over 30 years) and one of the tips he gave was touch and eye contact. Things as simple as that trigger the body to release oxytocin which keeps the lovey feelings going. Having lovey feelings isn't literally everything but it helps how you interact with each other across the board. Nothing is going to be like the honeymoon phase (so… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/12/25 08:41 PM |
| 6 | Is it true that women over 30 are seen as lower value by men or don’t get quality male attention?I agree that a substantial percentage of women will be single and childless; I believe Stephen Shaw predicts/states that 80% of these women will be unintentionally childless (they were not infertile nor did they want to be childfree). I'm not sure a negative ROI on childrearing is a global factor, namely because of Hungary's monumental policy changes to combat this to very little positive effect. I do think the demoralization and general loss of hope in the future does play a major role, I just … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/12/25 04:03 AM |
| 1 | Why are Men are obligated to pay but women are not obligated todo anything?It was understood in previous decades that the man paying was the appropriate tradeoff for the addition time it tends to take women to get ready and the additional investment women tend to make in their appearance (they spend more money on clothes and cosmetics for dates). Since men value a woman's beauty and women value the resources/resource earning potential of men, it was a way for them to both put their best foot forward and try to impress each other, so to speak. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/12/25 02:46 AM |
| 8 | Is it true that women over 30 are seen as lower value by men or don’t get quality male attention?You may be ascribing a local symptom to a global phenomenon. Marriage rates and rates of parenthood are drastically dropping pretty much everywhere. Even India isn't having children at replacement level anymore. The manosphere has a lot of marriage-negative sentiment but the advice generally given about income, self-improvement, and weight-lifting, and "be attractive don't be unattractive" would all lend to having positive effects on male desirability, so I have a hard time predicting the end re… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/12/25 10:33 PM |
| 0 | What’s the common preference in modern dating for women , traditional roles or equal partnership?Most women (and men, for that matter) want whatever they think will benefit them the most or will fit into their life the best. If a woman wants to spend most of her time at home with kids, she wants a more traditional man who is egalitarian sometimes when it benefits her (he gets home from work and will spend some time doing childcare or housework). If a woman wants a career, she wants a more egalitarian man who is traditional sometimes when it benefits her (he still opens doors and is more lik… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/12/25 07:38 PM |
| 5 | I got marriedNo way!!! I still think of you and your posts from time to time; I'm so happy to hear you've found happiness since then. I hope your newlywed years are lovely. <3 | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/12/25 05:50 PM |
| 0 | Women are not romantic.Wtf I've always been the one more likely to perform romantic gestures, plan surprises, or get gifts for my husband. I pursued him and was the first to say that I loved him. I do approach relationships with a practical lens as well as a romantic one, everyone should. Who you marry is the most important decision you'll make in your lifetime. The lovey feelings and the value of what you both bring to the table fluctuates over the years so it's wisest to ensure you have plenty of both when you commi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/12/25 05:43 PM |
| 41 | Is it true that women over 30 are seen as lower value by men or don’t get quality male attention?Ignore manosphere content - or any content for that matter - that's not benefitting your life. It's a space for men that serves many purposes, including some amount of cope and some amount of anger fueling (anger being the emotion that best inspires human to change their situation). It's not really meant to benefit you at all and I wouldn't let morbid curiosity about locker room talk get the better of you. Plenty of people find great partners in their 30s. That said, the average age for first ma… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/12/25 05:25 PM |
| 3 | Am I delusional or do you just know?Oh yeah, I don't mean you should look for things to dislike or criticize, I just mean how you feel right now is pretty normal for the first couple months of falling in love (especially in your 20s) but don't expect him to stay on the pedestal you're putting him on in future stages of the relationship. Like as you learn more about him, not everything you find out may be great but things getting a bit more realistic also means they're getting more sustainable, you know? I love my husband a lot and… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/12/25 03:38 AM |
| 10 | Am I delusional or do you just know?Yes. I noticed that in my other relationships my brain was trying to convince my gut (which felt uncertain) that things could work, whereas when I was dating my husband my brain was trying to convince my gut (that felt certain) things could still go wrong. Marriage is making the decision every day to put in effort to make your commitment last. While my husband and I are objectively well-suited, there's also the fact that I decided I wanted to be with him even if there was the possibility of a be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/12/25 01:54 AM |
| 19 | My therapist suggested I stop managing my husband to cure my anxiety. We are trying a Captain First Mate dynamic to prepare for kids but letting go is harder than I thoughtDo you sleep well at night? High anxiety is one of the symptoms of magnesium deficiency. Most Americans are deficient. Poor sleep is another symptom and taking magnesium glycinate can help a lot. Also, Arthur Brooks gives some advice for dealing with anxiety. He says the best definition of anxiety is "unfocused fear" and recommends handling it by writing down your top 5 fears, what's the worst thing that could happen if your fears came true, and how likely it is that that will come to pass, and … | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/25 10:53 PM |
| 9 | Does your partner pay for all your meals out?Yeah mine has always paid apart from when I wanted to treat him. When we were dating I'd order him a pizza sometimes. I kinda think it's a bummer that you have to pay for both when it's a place he doesn't like. I'd feel sad treating someone to something they don't enjoy. Unless the place you want to go to is out of his budget or only you are ordering a full meal. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/12/25 02:00 PM |
| 2 | Struggling with libido due to not feeling sexy anymore?It can depend a bit of the man. My husband enjoys routine and stability. He's played the same handful of video games for the past 15-20 years, he likes the same things for breakfast, he wears some of the same clothes he did in high school. He's pretty excited about having sex with the same woman for the next half a century, and I believe him. He does have his fantasies and they sometimes include other people, which doesn't bother me much because I do too. I don't make a habit of worrying about i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/12/25 02:21 PM |
| 7 | Career women, do you regret it ?I do not have a career. I spent my whole childhood wanting to become an obstetrician and was choosing programs to shave time off the 4 years of pre-med, 4 years of medical school, and ~5 years of residency. Eventually I realized even if I could work hard and finish in my late twenties, it didn't make financial sense to take on all that debt just to then work a small amount of time before hopefully becoming a SAHM to my family. I wanted the family more than the job, and they weren't really compat… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/12/25 01:57 PM |
| 19 | Boyfriend lost jobWhen my husband's internship ended in college, I remember checking the rules to see if his specific circumstances qualified for unemployment (he didn't think he would, but he did). Ended up getting us thousands more than we thought due to applying and I would help him find jobs to apply to so we could maintain benefits. I ended up being the one to find the job position he got next! | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/12/25 07:27 PM |
| 3 | Postpartum and my husband has turned emotionally cruel. Is this abuse or stress?Hard to make that determination with one comment and OP doesn't sound mentally stable enough to be the sole caretaker of herself and an infant for the time being. The place I know of is not a DV shelter; OP can DM me if she wants the info as it's specific to my location and she hasn't responded to any comments asking if she's in the US yet. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/12/25 04:49 AM |
| 5 | Postpartum and my husband has turned emotionally cruel. Is this abuse or stress?I agree that if OP can't or won't leave this relationship right now then I would personally try to avoid the husband as much as possible and focus on her and baby these next couple weeks until maternity leave ends (guessing it's a 6 week leave) and baby starts at daycare. It's pretty obvious he's not helping and only hurting at this point. Co-sleeping was a game changer for me. The two weeks or so before I started doing it with my first were the worst days of my life. I prefer co-sleeping with b… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/25 03:22 PM |
| 4 | Am I overreacting?Ask him how his parents treated him when he was a kid and upset about something. Like, as a general way to learn about how he operates, not as some sort of a gotcha during an argument or something. Could tell you a lot. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/25 04:34 AM |
| 1 | When and how did you realize that you wanted to have kids?If you're happy with the quality/quantity of guys approaching you, there's no reason to make the first move. I knew what I wanted and the guy I married was regularly hit on/propositioned, so if I hadn't put myself out there it never would have happened for me. Hard to say what makes it easier. What makes it simpler is to decide that what you want is worth pushing through obstacles and imperfections that arise. Like, to decide if the reality of what you want is more important than the idea of wha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/25 01:02 AM |
| 1 | When and how did you realize that you wanted to have kids?I would have myself make the first move by telling the guys I was interested in that I liked them and I was swift in not starting or ending relationships with men I didn't think would make the right partner for me. Men with different views of family or who had different timelines for marriage and kids in particular. I was in a fortunate position of being desirable to the types of men I was interested in, so it was mostly weeding through them, being decisive, and pushing for what and who I wanted… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/11/25 07:58 PM |
| 6 | Bad friends or products of liberal dating culture?I think a lot of it has to do with how you expressed it. It sounded like you were worried about being judged so they gave you some short-term comfort about judgement. I think if you express it as not wanting to have an underwhelming sexual encounter that makes you feel used by men, for example, then your friends will likely validate that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/11/25 07:38 PM |
| 2 | When and how did you realize that you wanted to have kids?I was not okay with not having kids so I put a lot of effort into finding a great partner. I've wanted kids my whole life, since I was 4, and I don't want to imagine what my life would've looked like without them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/11/25 07:34 PM |
| 19 | My boyfriend of 3 years wants to sleep with other womenA loving relationship could theoretically solve the issue but a relationship with an unsatisfying sex life for one or both of you could lead to it becoming worse. How much better has it gotten these three years? Sociologists did an experiment once where they took bad kids that had bad parents and good kids that had good parents and swapped the kids between the households. The sociologists had theorized that the good parents would rub off on the bad kids. The opposite was true. The formerly good … | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/11/25 02:40 AM |
| 66 | My boyfriend of 3 years wants to sleep with other womenA healthy and enthusiastic sex life is one of the main things men want from relationships with women. Whether or not things continue with this man, I think you should strongly consider some sort of counseling or healing process for your intimacy issues if you want to continue having long term relationships with men. I think you're dooming yourself to suboptimal relationship dynamics otherwise. As for this guy, it seems like it's less about sex with other women and more that sex hasn't been that … | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/11/25 10:16 PM |
| 24 | Resources for ex FTM trans peopleI think outside of r/detrans you'll have trouble finding a sizable community with. personal stories. To the best of my recollection we haven't had a story shared here that fits what you're looking for. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/25 03:09 AM |
| 26 | How do I flirt with my husband?Not wearing underwear around the house is pretty effective. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/11/25 02:51 PM |
| 4 | Why is it so frustrating wanting to get married?Most men don't fight for custody of the children and 1/3 of divorced parents have 50/50 in my state. When men choose to fight, they do have very good chances of getting joint or primary custody. Most of custody arrangements are settled outside of court anyway. It's unclear to me how much of women receiving favorable court decisions is directly related to mothers being more likely to sacrifice career for children and having weaker earning potential. Part of the role of the courts is preventing po… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/11/25 01:24 PM |
| 5 | Why is it so frustrating wanting to get married?No. Single fathers do statistically way better than single mothers. My husband would have far greater earning potential than me for the rest of our lives. Single mothers are the worst off compared to single fathers and single non-parents. My husband would bounce back financially and likely remarry a great woman. The odds are not in my favor to be so fortunate. I don't believe in doing everything right, only in doing the best you are capable of for whatever percentage of time you can achieve. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/11/25 01:31 AM |
| 1 | Why is it so frustrating wanting to get married?Eh, most families in the US still financially contribute, usually around 50%, with only about 1/3 of couples paying for everything themselves. It's unclear to me why. Did couples want something more elaborate then parents want to pay for or perhaps did the couples refuse to get married in the respective church of their families? Are couples getting older to the point where they have decent paying careers while their parents are retired and living on fixed incomes? Is it an issue with the generos… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/25 10:53 PM |
| 6 | Why is it so frustrating wanting to get married?About 1/4 mothers are SAHMs and about another 1/4 of married mothers work part time. That's a significant risk and the total percentage is higher than the risk of divorce for a first time marriage. Everything has risk. It's the responsibility of an adult to mitigate them and decide what to take on. My personal risk of divorce based on a number of factors is less than 5%. I wouldn't say my husband wouldn't love me for refusing that per se, but I would say he would be exercising poor risk assessme… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/25 10:37 PM |
| 3 | Why is it so frustrating wanting to get married?It makes more sense for traditional families. My parents and in-laws paid for our wedding so that my husband and I ended up making money from all the gifts and everything. It was originally supposed to be a celebration and a show of support for a young couple to get their life started. Now it's more likely to be something that holds a couple back financially. Plus, my wedding was the last time my family got together and a few have died since. Priceless. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/25 06:23 PM |
| 7 | Why is it so frustrating wanting to get married?Is a woman staying home to bear and raise children not an equivalent risk? I disagree it's a giant risk for men who are knowledgeable and proactive about the known risk factors surrounding divorce. Plus, wealth and income are negatively correlated with divorce. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/25 06:21 PM |
| 2 | sick men/sick bloodlinesWe might have different definitions of purpose. If you have nothing you would live or die for, you have no purpose. I would be extremely skeptical of a parent who wouldn't die for their kids or whose children didn't give them a sense of purpose. A fair bit of the reason people derive purpose from children is because they are so demanding and time-consuming. I like going off of Arthur C. Brook's breakdown of enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose. It's a helpful, clear framework. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/25 03:35 PM |
| 1 | sick men/sick bloodlinesI don't think there's anything wrong with having kids for purpose in life. I still choose a smart, conscientious, attractive, and kind partner. I think the world is better off having more children in it from a man like that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/25 02:54 PM |
| 0 | Why do women date men at all?Most of history isn't gender war, it's class war. I'm not out here being mad at my poor ancestors who worked dangerous life-threatening labor-intensive jobs. My husband is awesome and brings immeasurable value to my life. Plus he's very good-looking and gives me smart, beautiful, kind children. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/11/25 02:36 AM |
| 2 | Shall I break no contact and join my boyfriend for his birthday?I think I'm a little bit confused. Who initiated the no contact? It seems like there were moments both of you went quiet and I don't really understand what happened. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/25 09:01 PM |
| 1 | I think all women would be happier singleNooooo I treasure my husband. He's the best friend I've ever had and I want to have sex with him all the time. He's like the only person I've ever met that thinks like me and has similar interests. I want to die of old age in the same bed together like that couple in The Notebook. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 08:39 PM |
| 3 | Husband’s weak characteristics and physicality turning me offI appreciate the correction. It's good to hear there's something positive in your past you can try to rekindle at some point. I would be a poor version of myself if I had terrible sleep, diet, and exercise. We all would. These are the three biggest components of health and wellness. I think before you tackle a lot of your relationship dynamic, you make a couple of minor changes here first. I think sleep is a good place to start and then maybe some diet changes to include foods that help with cor… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/25 06:02 PM |
| 4 | I could use some help incorporating submission and STFUThe idea is to STFU when you realize it would do more harm than good. You still give input on your preferences because it's unrealistic to expect someone to be able to make good decisions for the both of you if he is left in the dark on how you think and feel. However, complaining is often we do to express ourselves in one singular moment "omg it's so hot outside this sucks" and this is the kind of thing that is less helpful. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/25 05:24 PM |
| 4 | Husband’s weak characteristics and physicality turning me offIt sounds like you married this person because he showed affection for you and the primary emotion you felt for him was pity. This relationship never should have progressed to marriage and it sounds like a huge mistake - perhaps primarily on your part, as the one with weaker attraction - that it did. You're starting from such a lackluster foundation that it sounds overwhelmingly like you should divorce, especially if he's bringing up self-harm. Whether or not he means it, saying things like that… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/25 04:59 PM |
| 2 | It feels impossible to find someone like meThe problem with introverts is finding other introverts. The people like you are like you, they might not have a dating profile and might head straight home to their dorm after class. Ultimately, you have the power to pursue things you'd like to have in life. It takes a little time to build up these skills. r/healthgamergg and Dr. K's videos on Youtube are extremely relevant to your situation. Dr. K walks through a lot of why this is happening and how to catch up, so to speak. Edit to add that p… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/25 10:23 PM |
| 3 | What Stereotypically Masculine Trait, Hobby, or Household Duty Do You Take On?I think that's really impressive! I've cleaned out sink filters and changed shower heads but never unclogged a sink. I also put together both of our PCs! Was surprisingly not very difficult. I haven't sewn in a long time and I want to get back into it. I feel like if I put some patches on the inside of my husband's pants he would go through like half as many pairs. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/25 10:19 PM |
| 2 | What Stereotypically Masculine Trait, Hobby, or Household Duty Do You Take On?Noooo kudos to you because I would not want to do this. I will drive when he's not around but I don't like it and I refuse to do any car stuff beyond cleaning it. I'll happily clean any substances that come out of my children several times over before I take the car in. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/25 10:16 PM |
| 1 | What Stereotypically Masculine Trait, Hobby, or Household Duty Do You Take On?My husband and I are both arachnophobes! While I killed them more in the beginning of our marriage, his fear was lessened so he kills them more now. I feel like discovering them is the worst part, killing them isn't as bad. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/25 10:15 PM |
| 4 | Getting Married Over the Wall at 42 (first marriage)Congrats! I have a distant cousin who married in her early 40s recently. She's very beautiful and fun, so while I'm not surprised it happened, I am surprised it happened as late as it did. Sometimes we aren't so lucky as to meet a great potential partner at a young age. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/25 10:13 PM |
| 2 | What Stereotypically Masculine Trait, Hobby, or Household Duty Do You Take On?Yeah it's tricky. Growing up I would help my mom with tasks like this because my dad was at the skill level where he could install ceiling fans and curtain rods and stuff. My mom wouldn't touch electrical work in a million years, so she did what she could, which was designing, assembling, painting, etc. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/25 07:00 PM |
| 3 | What Stereotypically Masculine Trait, Hobby, or Household Duty Do You Take On?When we first moved into our home I was seven months pregnant. I picked out and put together nearly all of our furniture. Husband would come in and would help with the heavy lifting. The things we do to nest. XD | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/25 06:41 PM |
| 4 | What Stereotypically Masculine Trait, Hobby, or Household Duty Do You Take On?Nice! I do all the expense/net worth tracking and mine husband does the investments. I do most of the purchases. Finances are best when both parties are at least well-informed imo. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/25 06:39 PM |
| 2 | What Stereotypically Masculine Trait, Hobby, or Household Duty Do You Take On?I enjoy it too! It's like a Lego kit for adults. I'm the one to help our son with his Lego builds if he needs it as well. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/25 06:35 PM |
| 8 | How to respond when a man asks ‘ what do you bring to the table?’I would have answered the question in good faith and then evaluated separately whether or not I wanted to continue seeing this person based on the remainder of the conversation. I'll pretty much answer anything to the best of my ability but when I was dating I was also quick to stop talking to someone if I wasn't excited to spend time with them or got the sense I wasn't what they were looking for. Plenty of decent guys out there but I can only devote myself to one. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/25 03:38 PM |
| 7 | I read his private thoughts, he resents me for saying no to sexI don't think you should have a type of sex you're uncomfortable with. There are things I like that my husband doesn't, and things he likes that I don't. We only do that stuff when the less enthusiastic one feels up for it and most of our sex life is the vanilla stuff. I would consider telling him you read the texts and asking him if it would be more helpful for you to respond "yes, but only vanilla/cozy/gentle stuff" when he initiates. This seems like an important conversation to have and I wou… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/25 03:22 PM |
| 3 | Why men don't fully commit and waste women's time and how to partialy solve itI initially read the line about being younger the same way but upon further reflection, OP meant that women start looking for a long term partner at a younger age then men do. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/25 01:36 AM |
| 5 | Nurturing a new relationship without the hamster's helpI would suggest saying things along the lines of "I'm so excited to be together once your divorced is finalized" and keep things going fairly slow. See that what you want to happen and his motivations are lined up. When I get very worked up, it's usually because there is something I want to happen and I'm under the impression I have control to make that happen. You have no control over his divorce filings. I would tell yourself this. I have brought myself the most unhappiness I have ever experie… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/11/25 09:17 PM |
| 4 | Dating with a promiscuous pastDon't worry, your future husband won't be perfect either. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/11/25 10:11 PM |
| 7 | Field Report: Greeting My Husband At the Door After WorkThank you! He had actually did have a bad day and said coming home really turned it around. I struggle sometimes to be around him on bad days so I was especially pleased to hear it made such a difference. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/11/25 02:08 PM |
| 19 | Dating with a promiscuous past7 isn't great at 22 but if you slow down a bit in a few years or so your number will be fine. Some men care about this but it isn't the only thing they care about. You have other avenues to improve your desirability. Torturing yourself over it isn't likely to help. We all have regrets. The biggest thing for men isn't promiscuity itself, it's loyalty. Demonstrate loyalty and the promiscuity of your past can be more easily overlooked. Faithfulness is very important and men view a colorful past as … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/25 10:14 PM |
| 8 | Field Report: Greeting My Husband At the Door After WorkIt might be early on but those habits can be as essential to your relationship as brushing your teeth is to your dental health. A handful of sweet, intentional moments can do so much to maintain your contentedness as a couple. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/25 08:48 PM |
| 6 | Field Report: Greeting My Husband At the Door After WorkI think that's a really really lovely idea. I don't think my husband would personally enjoy it as he can be very private but I was homeschooled in my last year of high school and my mom would sometimes have us take the train into the city to have lunch with my dad over his break. We moved soon after but those were some really happy memories. I hope you experience something similar someday. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/25 08:44 PM |
| 8 | Field Report: Greeting My Husband At the Door After WorkI don't think my husband would be able to compute if we have a girl. She would be so spoiled. DX | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/25 07:18 PM |
| 8 | I desire to be a stay at home wife/mom, for woman who have achieved this, how did it come to you? And while looking how did you not get discouraged <18>I like to think of it as an upper class SAHM is a luxury, a middle class SAHM is a sacrifice, and a lower class SAHM is a necessity. Just based on whether or not the SAHP's income would surpass childcare costs mostly. A low income life isn't super appealing and an upper class is hard to find so the question becomes about whether or not a couple wants to make the sacrifice to their purchasing power. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/25 02:13 PM |
| 8 | I desire to be a stay at home wife/mom, for woman who have achieved this, how did it come to you? And while looking how did you not get discouraged <18>We save for retirement and by our numbers so far we can expect for him to retire by 50. We have enough for him to retire at 65 and are just working on bringing that number down. Not bad for a SAHM and 3 kids. Start young enough and compound interest does most of the work for you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/25 02:01 PM |
| 5 | Got played like a fiddle by a married man and I feel incredibly stupidUgh, that sucks so bad. I'm so sorry this happened. If it helps, I've made lots of mistakes THAT MY YOUNGER SELF saw as being mistakes years before they happened. It's a real kick in the pants to feel dumber than your 12 year old self. Oh well. This is a harsh life lesson but you can learn from it and avoid it again in the future. Hope the next guy is better. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 11:13 PM |
| 8 | I’ve been dating two men for a month but I’m starting to realize that none of them might be a good choice. Am I being unreasonablly picky?My dad loves to say "never take marriage advice from divorced people" to mean generally that we should be cautious when adhering to advice from people who don't have what we want to have. I would maybe take their advice with a grain of salt and solicit some feedback from a female relative or friend who has the life or relationship you would want. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 11:08 PM |
| 25 | I desire to be a stay at home wife/mom, for woman who have achieved this, how did it come to you? And while looking how did you not get discouraged <18>I've been able to be a SAHM my whole marriage and my husband has been the sole breadwinner since we were 21. My husband is a numbers guy through and through. He's all about the data. His mom was a SAHM until he was in middle school and felt the kids no longer needed her around as much. Here's what I think were the biggest sells for my husband, who would've been content to be in a DINK relationship: - I came into our relationship with no debt, an old car, and about 10k saved. He had about the sam… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 11:02 PM |
| 5 | I’ve been dating two men for a month but I’m starting to realize that none of them might be a good choice. Am I being unreasonablly picky?Do your friends have similar goals as you in terms of wanting a serious relationship that leads to marriage and kids in the next few years or so? Are these friends single, in relationships you wouldn't want to be in, or in relationships you would like to have? Sometimes our friends have excellent judgment and can spot our weaknesses. Sometimes our friends do more of the whole "crabs in a bucket" thing. I don't know your friends so I can't tell for certain, but there's a big difference in selecti… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 10:26 PM |
| 11 | I’ve been dating two men for a month but I’m starting to realize that none of them might be a good choice. Am I being unreasonablly picky?My opinion is that you're not being unreasonably picky for wanting someone you feel attracted to and someone who has similar values. I think your gut feeling is right regarding these suitors. Is there someone in your life telling you you're too picky and hard to please? | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 05:30 PM |
| 4 | Relationships: Money Pits vs Fixer-uppers vs TurnkeyDefinitely agree. I think there are quirks like bright paint colors or vintage features and then there are quirks like floorplans that make no sense and illegal additions. There are so many things like good health, reliability, etc that everyone wants. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 04:21 PM |
| 19 | Male “feminists”Eh, I think plenty of them are happy to cook, clean, and spend more hours doing childcare in exchange for their female partner working and contributing more financially. It's not my cup of tea but I think there are women out there who want this sort of arrangement. The ones who try to get women to go 50/50 financially but then claim she should do the majority of the household chores, not because she's a woman, but because "she's better at doing it" make me feel frustrated on behalf of those wome… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 04:05 PM |
| 5 | How do I talk to my long-distance boyfriend about my visa ending (and the possibility of needing marriage to stay) without sounding like I’m rushing things?Barney Stinson made me realize sitcoms write largely immoral characters like him into shows so they can write crazy stuff happening to him and the audience will find it funny. Marshall is the heart of that show; when something bad happens to his character the audience is likely to weep for him. Barney literally gets hit by a bus and that scene has a lot of laughs written into it. And the better of a person Barney becomes, the more his more serious storylines pull at our heartstrings. It's fascin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/25 11:02 PM |
| 3 | I was love bombed, and after reciprocating things are going downhillIf I could turn back the clock, I would likely decide to skip the relationship entirely and focus more on my college or a part-time job. I had a decent amount saved by the time I got married but a couple more thousand dollars or so would've been nice when I started my family. It wasn't all bad, my ex was very creative and a great storyteller, but unfortunately his baseline mood was pretty aggressive and we had fairly different views on family, religion, politics, etc. The most valuable lessons I… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/25 10:45 PM |
| 13 | I was love bombed, and after reciprocating things are going downhillI wouldn't attribute to malice what can be attributed to ignorance. Or in this case, immaturity. Phrases like "love bombing" irk me because I feel it implies men are like these master manipulators toying with us for the lolz. The odds are that young men are going to be less socially adept then women, not more. Socially inadept men do stupid stuff like this because it's pretty much all they are capable of. Look, it sounds like he's not very happy at this stage in his life, he thought a relationsh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/25 02:30 PM |
| 2 | How do I talk to my long-distance boyfriend about my visa ending (and the possibility of needing marriage to stay) without sounding like I’m rushing things?I'm an avid lover of an American sitcom called How I Met Your Mother. In the show, there's an episode where a dating rule is proposed to "never plan a date further in advance than the amount of time you've been together". Planning marriage in two years when it sounds like you've been together for a few months is unwise. I would look into what options you have to solve your visa issue without relying on him, and if that process becomes frustrating or tedious you can naturally share the problems y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/25 02:09 PM |
| 1 | Most women aren't having sex as much as rp thinks.It can be tricky because I would say I'm low libido generally but I'm very attracted to my husband and have wanted sex more regularly than he has for the majority of our marriage. Curious to see what happens as we age because it's my understanding his testosterone levels will fall over time and mine will rise, which should widen the disparity. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/11/25 02:37 PM |
| 7 | 6 Things I've Learned in 6 Years of MarriageCongrats on your upcoming Christmas baby! What a blessing. :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/25 06:04 PM |
| 3 | 6 Things I've Learned in 6 Years of MarriageYay, so glad to help! Regarding competence, one potential counterargument might be about men liking to feel needed? However, I'd like to think we can deeply value what our men bring to the table while lightening their load and providing our own value, as you've said. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/25 06:04 PM |
| 4 | How do you know if a guy is just settling for you?Typically, if you fit the bill, he'll be more loving, appreciative, and motivated to start a life together. He'll be more proud to be seen together or more protective. He may make favorably comparisons to other women or exs. He'll look forward to spending quality time together. I'm not saying anything here is going to be on the money 100% of the time but you can look for signs of enthusiasm that match up with how he acts with other things he enjoys. Most guys would probably give a decent enough … | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/10/25 12:56 AM |
| 3 | Taking myself off the market for a few months before a big move. What should I focus on?Yeah diet, sleep, and exercise are the big 3. Making improvements to these areas will have massive returns. The focus should be on building habits, maybe as few as 1-2 a month to encourage sustainability and minimize side effects (drastic diet changes can lead to digestion issues, for example). Going on walks or having some time to do nothing but reflect and listen to your own thoughts is great. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/10/25 06:27 PM |
| 10 | How do you know if a guy is just settling for you?My opinion is that the best possible outcome is a young man with potential pairing with a young woman that's very close to his dream girl. She's with him when she's young and beautiful and has other options, he stays with her a few decades down the line when the tables have turned. Something something wife goggles and the thing about how a woman's primary mating instinct when she's with a partner that has a perceived higher value is to try to raise her value and keep up. I agree it's a bad sign … | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/10/25 06:25 PM |
| 3 | Husband wants to quit his jobBabies can be fairly cheap if you're able or willing to breastfeed and someone is throwing you a baby shower where you'll get most of the gear. I'd say 2-3k for the first year best case scenario, in addition to whatever your OOPM is on your health insurance plus an additional 1k for baby in medical costs for the birth. If no shower, adds about 5k. If bottle fed, I believe that'll add another couple thousand. If he quits and you qualify for Medicaid, that would likely be very different. I think t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/10/25 01:21 AM |
| 1 | Not feeling Christian enoughEveryone struggles with faith. It's hard. I struggle. My husband does. I grew up religious and got to hear a lot of people express doubts and such at youth group and such. Even Thomas of the disciples struggled. I would put aside belief right now and look at church as a version of meditation. Zone out; spend some time with yourself and your own thoughts there. Focus thoughts around gratitude and the person you think your family deserves that you want to become. If you want to be convinced throug… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/25 05:47 PM |
| 9 | Help - in relationship with 45 year old manI think you should buy a single one-way ticket to your family's place for the holidays. Bring anything you wouldn't want to leave behind. Leave your phone off, spend some time with family and be by yourself with your thoughts. Journal for a bit each day if you can. Stay until you reconnect with where your mind is at and what you want. If this isn't a life you would be excited to have for the rest of your life, don't go back. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/25 05:35 PM |
| 5 | Feeling an indescribable grief for never going to be a homemaker (F25 with M31 fiancé)The first boyfriend I had as an adult told me being a SAHM "would be a waste of my intelligence" and he would never want that lifestyle. I broke up with him not long after. My second boyfriend said he would give me everything I could ever want provided I just wait 10+ years to get married and start having kids. They weren't bad people. I have some positive memories of the second guy. I thought to myself: would it really be worth endless material goods to sacrifice 10 years with my family? No. Fo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/25 05:29 PM |
| 4 | How Do You Live a Soft Life When You’re Doing EVERYTHING Around The House?That makes sense. I mean, he does a deserve a break and that does sound hard, but the same could be said for you. It's not easy to be alone with a baby that much. Something I remember trying to do during that phase of life was to give myself a break when I could. When my baby took multiple naps, I would tell myself one nap was for chores and one nap was for me. Or, I'd do things like watch whatever I wanted on TV while I folded laundry. It doesn't sound like the nap will work for you with your w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/25 04:52 PM |
| 4 | Staying attractive and feminine while pregnantBoob emphasis helps, so like empire waistlines. I think I leaned more into cute-sexy than beautiful-sexy but ymmv. Also, write down all your baby stuff whenever you think of it. Review the list frequently, figure out what truly needs his input, cross things off as you do them. Aim to cross one thing off the list a day. Put the things you want his input on in as simple and clear terms as you can manage. Not open-ended. So instead of "what theme for the baby's room" it's "I've narrowed it down to … | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/10/25 04:54 PM |
| 9 | How Do You Live a Soft Life When You’re Doing EVERYTHING Around The House?How many hours do you both work? Are there times of day he is more productive? I wrote this post on having small kids awhile back, there might be some tips you find helpful. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/10/25 04:44 PM |
| 3 | Went on an amazing date but he has 2 kids- can it work?Has their divorce finalized? I don't really see the harm in saying that you think he's lovely but would like to wait to get more serious/continue seeing each other until he and his ex-wife feel more settled into their new phase of life. Especially since they might not have gone through the holidays apart yet. A new girlfriend is probably going to make things worse with his ex and things sound complicated enough. Hit him up in 2026 if you still haven't met someone. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/10/25 04:05 PM |
| – | Stuck In Transition PhaseI would consider applying for reception-type jobs if you can find some with similar pay. It's a way to be "in the room", depending on the type of building you work at, while still utilizing your time well. Customer-facing roles in luxury hotels that regularly host business conferences and conventions may also work. HR at an engineering company, etc. I personally went back and reconnected with men I knew from high school. That strategy likely won't work for someone who didn't grow up in an area t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/10/25 03:25 PM |
| 3 | AITA for wanting to leave my Bf after he said " You are just like a man"The problem could be that you two have different interpretations of what he meant when he said "like a man with boobs". The only way to solve the issue is to communicate to figure out what he meant. If he's having trouble putting into words what he meant, then you share your interpretation and he can agree or disagree. Maybe he meant he's comfortable around you, or that you're not high strung or whatever (a positive association). You are having negative associations, thinking he meant you're unf… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/10/25 03:59 PM |
| 10 | Is my partner viewing marriage with me as a practical choice rather than a genuine desire?I think there's a false dichotomy here. You could be someone he can "afford" and someone he wants a future with. My husband and I were 21 and he asked me what kind of engagement ring I wanted. I sent him a listing on Etsy that I liked the look of, it was a few hundred dollars. He was so excited he bought it within minutes of me sharing it with him. Men generally would love to have a wife that's "easy to impress". It's nice to be appreciated and to be able to comfortably provide. They want to kno… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/10/25 02:28 PM |
| 2 | How do we find Middle Ground between Conflicting Needs?I am personally not optimistic about the future of your relationship. I think break-ups are hard for everyone but it seems like they can be especially hard on men, even more so if/when men don't have a great social circle they can lean on emotionally. I think men view loyalty as one of the traits they need the most from a woman and breaking up can be seen as disloyalty. I think it's tough for men when they still love a woman and want to be with her again, but then when the couple does get back t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/10/25 11:12 PM |
| 3 | Fiancé wants me to wear glasses on our wedding day?Unfortunately there is no perfect solution that's all pros and no cons. He may have some negative emotions at things not going his way just as you would if you went with the glasses for his sake. But I mean, it's your wedding day, hopefully you'll both be so excited that you can roll with the punches and enjoy the day no matter what doesn't go to plan (something always seem too). | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/10/25 02:56 AM |
| 4 | Fiancé wants me to wear glasses on our wedding day?I've reread your post a bit more thoroughly - it seems most of the issue is that he's "unwilling to compromise". You've stated you're unwilling to put in effort now to change his mind. In that case, stop trying. He's allowed his opinion, you're allowed to override it. My husband didn't want me to wear heavy make-up on my wedding day and thought no make up would've been fine. I listened to his opinion and then made a different choice. He thought I looked great anyway and we had a great day. Stop … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/10/25 12:24 AM |
| 9 | Fiancé wants me to wear glasses on our wedding day?Easiest solution sounds like to get a pair of glasses made that looks like the pair you usually use but with non-corrective lenses or just the frame. This way you can pop them on for a couple of photos or the occasional brief moment without needing to take out your contacts and can rock the no-glasses look for the majority of the day. If you hate your contacts but also aren't very attached to your glasses, maybe consider Lasik. My husband got it done in his early twenties and loves how much it's… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/25 11:03 PM |
| 1 | Performative males are more attractive to women, at the expense of their own dignityYeah, which is why I wrote "(in the case it is performative)". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/10/25 02:13 PM |
| 1 | No, women do not make it "obvious" they're into youI initiated two of my relationships by writing out "I like you" and that seemed to do the trick. I consider myself shy but you just set aside some time to psych yourself up and take a risk. Life's too short and agency should be encouraged. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/10/25 09:44 PM |
| 0 | Question for women: How can a man who's not able to get casual sex, pursue a serious relationship with a woman who did have casual sex with other men?Seems like it might be better to find a woman with a less colorful history or go do kinky stuff together. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/10/25 05:57 PM |
| 1 | Performative males are more attractive to women, at the expense of their own dignityI have a male friend who genuinely likes Disney and Taylor Swift. Like he would go on solo vacations to Disney World. I think we're on the same page that your post isn't about guys like my friend, it's about men trying to pretend to like Taylor Swift and Disney for more success with women. I'm debating your post because I think you're making an incorrect assumption that all men "faking it to make it" would incur the same cost: a worse partner, a one-sided relationship, being underappreciated, lo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/10/25 03:19 PM |
| 3 | Performative males are more attractive to women, at the expense of their own dignityThe dating market is competitive. Increasing your desirability to the opposite sex often has tradeoffs. These men have decided (in the case it is performative) that having and engaging with some typically female-dominated things/ideas is worth the hit to the ego. Or, they don't perceive it as an attack on their self-image or otherwise don't care much how other men perceive them. In this case, there wouldn't be a lot of drawbacks to drinking matcha and it helps that matcha is dope as it contains … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/10/25 03:21 AM |
| 4 | Can a guy truly move past a girl’s past if he really loves her?If only I rolled as high on my reading comprehension check as I did on my insight. Oh well... | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/25 07:40 PM |
| 11 | Can a guy truly move past a girl’s past if he really loves her?I don't have a problem with double standards, but this case is tricky because you can't change your past. You can try to change how you interpret what he's saying to you. Instead of hearing something along the lines of "somehow fix and erase the parts of your past I don't like" try to hear "I need help feeling special, desirable, and listened to". Whatever shifts your perspective to focus on how he feels in the moment instead of what happened in your life years ago. See if the conversation yield… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/25 07:19 PM |
| 3 | Should I leave my marriage over this?Charlie Kirk (rest in peace) is another example. He and his wife appear to have had a happy, loving marriage but I watched an interview with him from about 3-4 months ago where he said he'd taken 200 red eye flights in the previous year alone. They had two young kids at home that he expressed sadness at missing out on. He said he rose to the top by outworking everyone. OP, consider how happy you'd be to have a baby with someone who made millions but was never home. You mention being raised in th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/25 01:40 PM |
| 8 | Having anxiety about kids and ageThere are pros and cons to both sides of the 20s versus 30s decision. I would advise you save a significant amount of money in your 20s if you don't want to start a family. That way, you get to enjoy your 20s now without kids and your 50s as the kids move out and you approach retirement. I personally went for having kids and saving up money in my 20s. It has made my 20s harder for sure, but now a lot of the hard work is done and I'm really looking forward to my 30s. Finding a balance between ins… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/25 01:21 PM |
| 1 | Redpillers I know IRL are losersI don't know, I think I'm doing alright. Though I suppose I spend too much time on Reddit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/10/25 05:20 PM |
| 6 | Should I leave my marriage over this?I have a lot of questions and a lot of thoughts (my spouse is more conscientious then me and it brings us some heartache as well) but let's start with this one: do you know your current combined net worth and how it has grown over the last three years? | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/25 02:14 PM |
| 10 | A married man who brought me around his close friends?I know my generation loves to say delulu is not the solulu, but in your case I think what matters most is to believe whatever will help you move forward and heal. I also think part of that constructed reality should be about your own agency. So whether you believe he genuinely cared but you should've waited until a separation or a divorce, or whether you believe he was lying to you but you should've seen through it, what matters most now is that your life moves on and you make choices that benef… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/10/25 02:22 PM |
| 6 | How much should an engagement ring cost?I picked out a ring that I adored and had a strong sentimental attachment to. It was fragile and non-traditional, we were warned by the jeweler it wouldn't last five years. The jeweler was correct. However, I've found that as much as I loved it and was complimented on it, I don't miss it. I kinda dig just rocking our matching gold wedding bands. I would probably just go for it. If yours doesn't last you could always commission a similar design with more durable materials down the road. My weddin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/10/25 02:42 AM |
| 7 | State-sponsored prostitutionI recently watched a two hour ish interview with Bonnie Blue on Chris Williamson's podcast. TLDR: the two people interviewing her think she's 1 in 3.5 billion and that it would be dangerous for women to try to emulate her since other women are extremely unlikely to have the same personality that enables Bonnie Blue to not suffer from her work. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/10/25 01:04 PM |
| 5 | Boys Sowing Wild Oats vs. Girls Staying PureAll of my siblings were encouraged to reserve intimacy for marriage. My brother ended up with the most experience and number of partners before marriage anyway (still a relatively low number). He's the most social adept of us though, so who's to say if it's the testosterone or his people skills. The different societal standards don't bother me because I liked the idea of a man having a little more experience than me and it didn't bother me that men have their own preferences. It was difficult fo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/25 02:14 PM |
| 8 | When should I start offering to pay for dates with the man I’m seeing?I have never offered to pay or split on a date a man invited me on. I have bought dessert after a meal, cooked meals for boyfriends, ordered food delivery as a gift to a boyfriend's place, and planned and paid for dates I invited my SO on. These gestures were well-received. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/25 12:39 PM |
| 4 | Help?What do you want? Marriage and LTRs will have their difficult moments. Something I think people underestimate is how much a couple needs to be able to negotiate. It sounds like he's the more disagreeable one, which is fine, but it does mean to make a relationship work that you will either need to become more assertive or he will need to be more sensitive to your needs. If you two cannot figure out how to compromise well and for both parties to be happy, you cannot work together for the long haul… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/09/25 01:26 PM |
| 3 | Why Low-Attachment FWB/Companionship Can Be Healthier Than Traditional RelationshipsUpon reading your post, it seems like the issue has more to do with your expectations going into a relationship and how you deal with reality not meeting your expectations. There's a leading expert on happiness who theorizes that happiness stems from your expectations and how they relate to your perception of reality. In your situation, you have expectations not perceived as being met in LTR and expectations that are being exceeded by more short-term stuff. You do you, but it seems like you're c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/09/25 02:17 AM |
| 2 | The majority of marriage issues are caused by the fact that women look at marriage like a "coming-of-age" celebration.Yeah, I like pretty white dresses and Canon in D. I also went through marriage prep and feel that the way I was taught about marriage set up relatively appropriate expectations. Divorce is fairly contagious. Try to figure out which of your friends or dates have families with low rates of divorce. Observe their family dynamics. In my husband's family divorce is pretty unheard of. In mine it's around an even split. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/09/25 02:15 PM |
| – | The Dating Issues Men Face Will Be The Same Issues The Women On Here's Future Son's Will Face.I don't think my sons will have a ton of issues primarily because my husband has some sick ass genes and is a good father. I do think men have struggles worth preparing for. It's somewhat ironic that the more men complain about dating, the more selective women are likely to be so that they don't end up with sons with similar issues. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/09/25 12:42 PM |
| 5 | Is 22/23 too young to get married??If you're asking purely about the rate of divorce by age, you're about 5 years short of the optimal. However, by the time you are 27/28 and if you're still married at that point, your rate of divorce is about the same as the couples who get married at 27-30ish years old. Basically, if you think you can make it five years, you have as good of a chance of making it for a lifetime as those who marry at the best time (defining best as the lowest divorce rate). Age is one factor. Couples who date 3+ … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/25 01:23 AM |
| 2 | how do I stop being a loser?I think Dr.K's videos on YouTube would be a big help to you. He explains how some people seem to fall behind their peers and how they can catch back up | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/25 03:00 AM |
| 2 | What to do when the man nagsMy husband can be critical. It's the main complaint I would say that I have about him but I think it's somewhat common with a man being high-performing. Something I like to remind myself is that his standards and his expectations of me aren't unobtainable. Like, at some point I know for a fact he will be satisfied; some days I choose not to meet that level and some days I do. When I feel I can't/won't meet them, I try to communicate what about my health or mood is holding me back. Regarding your… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/09/25 03:37 PM |
| 5 | I feel like a lot of messages about red pill women end up being “women suffer so men don’t get their feelings hurt”so why should I have to sacrifice that in order for him to feel good? Especially if I know he’s making a mistake that will impact other parts of our day? I ask myself if our places were reserved in some equivalent scenario, would I like for my husband to sacrifice for my happiness and/or to receive grace when I make mistakes. I've decided I like being treated kindly even when I'm having a bad day or have made a suboptimal decision, so I treat my husband kindly. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/09/25 02:12 PM |
| 5 | How to ACTUALLY tell if a guy doesn't watch pornFun fact: addictive substances can cause addiction at any point. While most users of an addictive substance like alcohol, cigarettes, or porn may be casual users, they are always at some risk of hitting a different phase in their life and becoming addicted then. For example, some didn't have a problem with alcohol but then their job got more stressful, health issues hit, or a partner broke up with them, etc, and now their intake increases and they do have a problem. We're always playing with fir… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/09/25 01:52 PM |
| 3 | Help me be okay with my boyfriend’s choice of wordsWhat things or aspects would you like to bring to your relationship to make it feel more collaborative? | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/25 08:06 PM |
| 4 | Is it possible to ensure sexual compatibility while waiting until marriage?Definitely possible to know if you feel sexual attraction, know if you share similar fantasies and turn-ons/turn-offs, to talk about what happens if one party wants more sex than the other, share what makes you feel pressured and see his reaction, to discuss what sex means to you both and what you imagine a sexual relationship to look like, and more. This is similar to asking if you could predict how living together will go if you don't move in before marriage. You will have less data, but that … | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/25 07:56 PM |
| 10 | Misogyny Will Have To Be Eradicated To Stop MisandryNeither is going anywhere because people will be shitty to each other at least part of the time and the human brain doesn't like pain and does like grouping things together into categories in an effort to avoid pain. I'm not saying there is no societal element at play, but humans having negative experiences with other humans and making generalizations to try to avoid having more negative experiences is pretty fundamental. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/08/25 08:01 PM |
| 3 | Step parenting the red pill wayThis is a problem that can be solved with time, money, or both. Spend time with them to get them off devices, spend money on things they would prefer to do, or both. If you're not willing to do this, then get yourself some headphones or earbuds and hang out in the room, or hang out outside of the room. Sometimes not being around all the time makes your presence more of a hot commodity when you are around. I guarantee your family would rather you spend some of the time doing your own thing than b… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/08/25 01:47 PM |
| 1 | Should I leave my partner?If I was in your shoes, I would try to end the relationship on good terms and would keep this in the back of my mind if my views changed moving forward. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/25 03:05 AM |
| 3 | How did you get into a male-led relationship?I think some amount of online dating is always going to mean attracting weirdos you don't want. I think the focus should be more on making sure the guys you do want are part of the mix. I agree that the sex stuff is likely best to not put in a profile, I don't think you're into anything that warrants needing to be super upfront. I think I had abstinence on my profile and still got guys trying to get me to their house late at night and someone flat out asking if I would be stepmom to their kids. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/25 01:45 PM |
| 1 | Red Pill Women-How do we reconcile when RP practices fail for well-meaning women? How does witnessing that impact you? This situation has really upset me.She probably has a fair bit of assets in her name or jointly with him and he's just specifying his assets solely in his name. Joint savings, joint checking, house in both names, car in both names, her 401k if applicable, her IRA which he could've contributed too, his social security if he chose the option to give to spouse after his death for smaller payments, a family HSA, would all still go to her in the event of his death. He could also have life insurance with her as the beneficiary. She cou… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/08/25 09:22 PM |
| – | Introverted nerds still can't also be assholes like attractive bad boysY'all don't know any hot introverted nerds? They exist. Look at Henry Cavill. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 01:43 PM |
| 1 | Having kids has no benefits to womenI mean, some of pregnancy and birth is a bit of a lottery. I don't have any of the body changes you mentioned in #1, had no trouble losing the pregnancy weight, my labor was very easy and I had an epidural, recovery was fine, and I didn't have many pregnancy symptoms. No morning sickness or nausea. Honestly, I found the whole experience preferable to having periods. I didn't have to work during pregnancy and we've budgeted more spending money for me now than before we had kids. It's true most of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 01:08 PM |
| 7 | how do i make my husband agree to stay longer at my parents'?I traveled to visit my parents with the kids frequently because I needed the extra support. Husband opted not to come most of the time with a WFH job and my parents also having a large home. It is what it is, unfortunately. Making him feel trapped around your family is the last thing you want for the sake of his relationship with them in the long-term. Maybe don't buy his return ticket (or opt for one with low change fees), and let him choose whenever he wants to go home. Then just try to make s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/08/25 05:51 PM |
| 2 | Question does being red pilled actually make any women happy?I'm not sure where the term "pinkpill" originated, but I believe that one is primarily female and heavily emphasizes physical beauty's effect on relationships. A bit like black pill in some ways. PPD is such chaos. Sometimes it seems like half the people there are only just realizing that humans are self-interested. I enjoy the sub sometimes but don't consider debate a strong suit of mine. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/08/25 03:44 PM |
| 1 | TTC and afraid of gaining weightI didn't gain or lose weight with my pregnancies until around the 20 week mark. After that point, I gained 1-2 pounds a weeks and ended up gaining the recommended amount of 30 lbs or something by the 40 week mark. For me, the weight came off pretty fast. I did EBF. Your experience may differ (and likely will!), but I would imagine if you keep your habits and stick to the recommended +500 calorie intake, you'll be fine. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/08/25 12:48 AM |
| 14 | Question does being red pilled actually make any women happy?Husband isn't RPed, I became familiar with it a few years ago. I like the men's space because it keeps me aware of what could be and what I can protect my marriage against. I like the women's space because it helps me focus on self-improvement and accountability. I like the RP movement as a whole because I enjoy thinking about male/female dynamics and psychology and I don't mind the hot takes. I think the pills and their various philosophies and beliefs are interesting to contemplate. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/08/25 12:35 AM |
| 16 | Question does being red pilled actually make any women happy?Read the sidebar/wiki: https://reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/w/index?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/08/25 12:26 AM |
| 2 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsUgh, we went through something similar. Had one, thought it wasn't too bad, had two under two, went "oh God oh fuck what have we done" and recalculated our initial plan of having four kids. My husband was honestly done with two but I've been consistent about wanting one more and we're just now in a place where that seems exciting to both of us. I've had baby rabies since I was four years old and I fear there wasn't much that could've deterred me. As your daughter starts speaking more in little s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 07:47 PM |
| 3 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsOh man, I hope you do. My husband and I utilized a childcare program at our church last year for the kids, 10 hours a week at $5 an hour per kid. It was super nice to be able to have lunch together regularly. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 06:16 PM |
| 3 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsGoodness, writing that post feels like ages ago. It's weird to think your baby must be a whole toddler by now?? Maybe around the everything-must-go-in-my-mouth phase?? My kids are 3 and 5 now, and oh man is it easier than it was two years ago. The way time passes with kids around really is something else. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 06:13 PM |
| 1 | How true is the take that "women talk to one dude at time"I got stressed the hell out when I tried a dating app and had to message different people at the same time. It's not for me. I was a serial monogamist when dating and now am a lifelong monogamist when married. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/08/25 03:15 PM |
| 7 | Discussion: Male Led Relationshipshow can RPW claim to then be a space for women that desire a traditional male led relationship ? It claims to be a space for women who desire a male-led relationship. In the umbrella of male-led, you will find both BDSM dynamics like Pumpkin has and more tradcon ones like mine. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 03:02 PM |
| 3 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsI think I run into less trouble than a lot of agreeable people because I'm a little above average on "openness to experience". High introvertedness keeps me home and around close family, but if anyone I know hit me up saying something like "we just moved, help me unpack my dishes" I'd be like "hell yeah, I'll pick up some pizzas from Costco and be right over". So I feel like I rarely run into the common "too agreeable" problem of building resentment from doing things I don't want to do. I love d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 02:56 PM |
| 5 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsGoodness, it's exhausting. It's kind of amazing to watch how much my personality changes when I haven't been in charge of the kids for a little while. I often try to tell my husband - when it's true, and it usually is - that us being alone together at night is the best part of my day. It's a nice reminder for us both. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 12:05 AM |
| 2 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsI absolutely think a disagreeable woman going for a more disagreeable man is a valid strategy. I personally went the route of changing my personality after some comments from my family inferring I would struggle to marry/have a happy marriage. I'm much more agreeable than I used to be, and I prefer being this way but it does have its drawbacks. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/08/25 11:58 PM |
| 6 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsI think people hear male-led and think the man calls the shots 100% of the time and the woman rarely even shares her opinion. Then they interact with that straw man. I think most of us here at one point came to the decision that our partners making a higher percentage of the decisions than they currently were, or that we share our opinions less of the time when they're negative and not very helpful would help the relationship dynamic improve. I have no doubt that there are women out there who ar… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/25 07:31 PM |
| 7 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsIt's my personal belief that the more disagreeable, less neurotic partner is typically going to make the better leader. On average, that will be the man and it is so in my relationship. As the more agreeable, more neurotic partner, I like to generate ideas and plans and then let my husband decide what sounds best. His job is mostly analyzing data and making decisions anyway, so he's well-equipped for it. I'm with the kids all the time so there are lots of times I'm wholly responsible and have to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/25 04:08 PM |
| 6 | Dealing with being kinda mid looking with "high standards"?Getting cold approached tends to be more about how many indications of interest you're putting out rather than straight attractiveness. If your friends are more likely to make eye contact with strangers or smile, that could be skewing things. Also, the r/vindicta subs writes about the difference between "high trust" and "low trust" features. Low trust are things like narrow eyes, defined cheekbones (think Megan Fox or Madison Beer) while high trust are things like wide eyes and full cheeks (like… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/07/25 02:03 PM |
| 3 | Dealing with being kinda mid looking with "high standards"?I'm not the OP, sorry. :( My IQ is around 130. I know there's r/gifted if you're curious about the super high IQs. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/07/25 07:22 PM |
| 5 | Dealing with being kinda mid looking with "high standards"?It's unclear from your post how your looks are holding you back. I would recommend you pivot your focus to finding the men you are looking for and initiating dates with them. As a woman, the closer you get to the top the harder it is to find an equal or better match. With your IQ, above average looks, and (presumed) education and salary/salary potential it's going to be hard enough as it is. Judging from your previous dating history there's a chance your perception of your looks is skewed and yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/07/25 07:13 PM |
| 5 | Dealing with being kinda mid looking with "high standards"?Yeah, 145+. 130+ is top 2-3%. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/07/25 07:10 PM |
| 1 | What is considered long hair to you?I have thin, fine hair and will never be able to grow it out to what I consider long. However, people consider my hair long even though it hovers around boob-length. For special occasions I have a clip-in halo hair extension piece that brings my hair to waist length. I think the difference is night and day, but sometimes my husband or his family don't notice I'm wearing it and just think my hair looks nice that day lmao. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/07/25 01:37 PM |
| 22 | Are men’s ways just hard for me to tolerate or is it the men I’m dating?There's one aspect of the Big 5 model called Consciousness - which I once saw broken down into two aspects called Orderliness (neatness, cleanliness) and Industriousness (problem solving). The average woman is a bit more orderly than the average man, and the average man is a bit more industrious. My explanation is probably overly simplified but yeah, on average women are a bit neater. However, an individual man or woman can vary wildly from the average. My husband is neater than me, for example,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/07/25 07:44 PM |
| 1 | Women who want men to “lead” don’t really want a leader they’re just lazy, don’t want to take any initiative, want their minds read and are actually the ones in chargeI want my husband to lead, I'm happy to do a lot of the leg work for decision-making and am capable of making a final judgement myself, but I lead all day with the kids and it's nice to have someone capable take over later in the day. I don't think men are mind readers so I factor in my happiness and mental state when making suggestions or giving options of how things could play out. For me, it's less about the work and more about the responsibility. I think we prefer a dynamic where he manages … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/25 08:58 PM |
| 3 | Do you just accept his need to be with other women?Not all high value men are like this, no. All men will have flaws but infidelity is one that puts a woman in serious jeopardy with her social circle. As you can probably tell from the comments, it's a big taboo and unless your man is very, very discreet you could end up seriously embarrassed. It's a big risk. No woman wants to be the wife of the Astronomer CEO right now. If you know about the other woman, you will most likely have to lie to your family and friends about her. Him having a mistres… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/25 03:52 PM |
| 12 | Traditional-style money management in today's marriagesI do the bookkeeping in my household. I track every expense into an organized spreadsheet every quarter, and load that as well as the current state of our investments and retirement funds into a net worth spreadsheet. I send the quarterly update over to my husband and we discuss our spending. I'm not responsible for retirement planning, and we share the decision of how we should spend on expenses, but I do know where every penny is going. I have access to all the accounts and my husband wrote me… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 01:41 PM |
| 9 | Traditional-style money management in today's marriagesTo be clear, it is your preference to be responsible for allocating expenses/budgeting, tracking expenses, paying the bills, and retirement planning/investing? Or just for some of these? | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 01:27 PM |
| 2 | I believe women are more sensitive to negative feedback than men. This study supports that.It's all good, I'm crap at articulation. But this has given me something to think about and I appreciate your time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/25 09:42 PM |
| 4 | I believe women are more sensitive to negative feedback than men. This study supports that.Oh, I don't believe I'm making that assumption. I think one may read the study headline and think that women and men, all else being equal, are experiencing different levels of negative emotion based on the same stimuli. However, I'm suggesting we can't be sure that all else is equal and that the long-term results of the experience may differ, which may explain the discrepancy in the short-term effects. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/25 09:38 PM |
| 6 | I believe women are more sensitive to negative feedback than men. This study supports that.Thanks for answering. I think without knowing how much effort these men and women put into self-improvement/reflection as a result, it's hard to make a determination on the superior response. A deeper internalization resulting in a temporary rise of negative emotions wouldn't be an unreasonable tradeoff. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/25 09:03 PM |
| 9 | I believe women are more sensitive to negative feedback than men. This study supports that.What makes you believe sensitivity to criticism is caused by ego? It seems more likely it's caused by neuroticism (referring to the Big 5 model) which basically means to experience negative emotions more strongly. Women are more neurotic on average. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/25 08:15 PM |
| 1 | How hard do you think it actually is to date as a heterosexual man.My general thoughts are something like: Men in the top 1-10% percent > Women in the top 5-50% > men in the top 11-30% percent > Women in the top 1-5% and bottom 51-100% > Men in the 31%-100%. I wouldn't die hard on these percentages but generally it's best to be a man at the top and a woman near the top, sucks most to be a man average and below. YMMV, everyone has problems that they see as legitimate. In my immediate social circle, only a handful aren't married by 30 and there's usually a decent… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/25 05:59 PM |
| 3 | In current dating market, women soon will soon prefer fictional men over real men and men would have no choice but to be better than they are to even be considered for relationship.I tend to believe that a decent relationship > being alone > poor relationship. I definitely relate to peeking into the rest of the world and being very grateful for my life and my family though. We have it pretty damn good the majority of the time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/25 03:58 PM |
| 5 | In current dating market, women soon will soon prefer fictional men over real men and men would have no choice but to be better than they are to even be considered for relationship.I was big into fantasized romance, didn't have much trouble finding my husband, got married, and now consume much less of the content. Escapism is a nice balm but I think the majority understand that you need to also put in the work to have the life you want in reality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/25 02:37 PM |
| 6 | Relocating to find a husbandI stayed at home and worked a little through college. I reconnected with some guys I thought well of in high school a couple times. The second time, it worked out and we got married when we were 21. We both came into the marriage with no debt and about 10k each. We could buy a house and start a family right away, which worked out because our house quickly became valued at 100k+ more than we bought it for. When I was single, I struggled to feel like I had much purpose and that working had a lot o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/07/25 02:23 PM |
| -1 | How to get over him not being as involved at home as I’d like and just be gratefulI wrote a post on parenting with littles a while back. Maybe something here would help? | /r/RedPillWives | 22/07/25 01:25 AM |
| 5 | Career adviceI have a time-intensive creative hobby. It is widely understood that one should never ever quit their day job for such a risky and competitive field until the financial returns from this pastime is enough to reliably live on. I would not quit your job when you have a dependent and you aren't yet sure what your creative side likes to do. I will acknowledge that I am a fairly risk-averse person. Take time to explore and try new things with your son or when you're alone. Maybe look into the FIRE co… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/07/25 06:16 PM |
| 9 | Rough dating historyYou are not your brain. When your brain is having unproductive thoughts, you are free to tell your brain to fuck right off and find something better to do. It sounds like your current LTR is going fine, so it's not like this has derailed your life. I don't think there's much to gain from internalizing your ex's statements. Brains don't like being bored. They don't like it so much that they start going on anxiety spirals just to entertain themselves with the drama. You have to retrain your brain … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/07/25 04:55 AM |
| 3 | What do you think about men using Undress AI tools to digitally "undress" people in photos, even when it's not someone they know personally? Is this crossing a line or just fantasy?As a woman, it all bothers me. Porn, AI, etc. I don't see a huge difference in AI undressing and certain types of porn. Porn can get quite dark. But I also don't really understand the male sex drive and I have no reason to believe that I wouldn't have dabbled with creepy stuff if I was a man. So I try to give the grace I would wish for if I was a man. I try not to think of people as "good" or "bad". We are all "bad" some percentage of the time and "good" some percentage of the time. It's fair to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/07/25 02:15 PM |
| 10 | Not being "that" special girlYeah, it's kind of a bummer. I get that. Being the first is a unique experience and it's okay to feel a sense of loss. My husband and I would trade our earlier experiences away to have only been with each other in a heartbeat. But, we get to be with each other and enjoy each other now. As time passes, the past will seem less significant. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/07/25 05:20 PM |
| 2 | I don’t want to have sex anymore—but I keep doing it to keep the peaceWhat happens when you initiate the type of sex/intimacy you would like to have with your husband? How does he respond? | /r/RedPillWives | 13/07/25 01:40 AM |
| 4 | You Call It Empowerment. I Call It a Violation.Unfortunately I can't empathize much because while I dress more on the modest side, I sometimes feel bad/am made to feel bad about my body because I am considered thin and the average woman is less so. I empathize more with the person going about their day not intending on affecting other women simply by being in the vicinity and looking a certain way. Are you married and currently still in college? Props. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/06/25 10:25 PM |
| 8 | You Call It Empowerment. I Call It a Violation.Ah, I see. Then I believe the issue is with the tone of your text. If you want empathy, you will need to provoke sadness. Sadness is what gives people the ability to sympathize and introspect. This is why there are terms like "toxic positivity" and phrases like "misery lives company". If you're happy, it's harder to feel someone's pain. I read your post as having an air of hostility. It's provocative, it's ranty. This will lead to anger. Anger is what gives people motivation to enact change. In … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/06/25 10:17 PM |
| 39 | You Call It Empowerment. I Call It a Violation.I mean, I don't care much about what other women wear. I actually think it helps me stand out in a good way and make a better impression, so yay for that. Not really a fan of trying to control or shame other people because it may or may not have an immeasurable and slight negative effect on myself. I understand that when writing rants we like to pretend that everyone sees what we see and is annoyed too, but I don't really like being lumped into a category of women that feels slapped in the face … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/06/25 06:42 PM |
| 3 | Can you get back to trust someone? Is it worth itI'm a believer in that you can't go back but you can move forward. The future always holds potential if you're willing to work for a better one. There's a man who theorizes that happiness is the difference between our expectations and our perception of events. It's human to lie. I expect everyone to lie from time to time, including my spouse. I consider myself an honest person but I still do on occasion, and even if I never did, I have flaws that hurt my spouse and jeopardize his trust in other … | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/06/25 01:35 PM |
| 7 | I (30F) am at crossroads with my relationship! (28M)I'm not 100% sure where you'd like advice, but I can say this: humans aren't happy without a purpose (among other things). In this context, I'm defining purpose as what you would die for and what you would say is the reason you are alive today. A family, particularly children, are the most common source of purpose and I think it's a high-quality one. However, it's not the only one. If you'd like to pursue a different purpose, by all means, I don't believe a man or woman's happiness depends on ha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/25 07:42 PM |
| 7 | No intimacy /romance/ or funIt appears that the criticisms and the serious conversations about sex have made it feel more like work for him than play. Even when he is trying to indulge you and make you happy, you are finding fault with him for not being enthusiastic enough. When is the last time you said something positive to him about your sex life or his performance? What is the ratio of positive comments to negative ones? Humans will naturally avoid things that are unpleasant and will repeat things that have a pleasant … | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/25 07:30 PM |
| 6 | No intimacy /romance/ or funHow often do you initiate and what does it look like when you do? | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/25 12:46 PM |
| 1 | Gottman’s 8 Dates, and Premarital ConversationsI haven't, but I'm familiar with the Gottman Institute and my husband and I have both read one of the Gottman's relationship books. I have a positive opinion of them from that. You could look into some pre-cana books and worksheets for ideas as well. It's what the Catholics use for marriage prep. Mine brought up some things we'd talked about and some we hadn't. Overall I had a positive experience | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/25 04:45 AM |
| 3 | i’m 20F I want to find a husband young, 30s is not the new 20s.I don't much know besides that being of a lower class is generally positively correlated with divorce. Though, there are some jobs with decent income/low barrier to entry that have a high divorce correlation, like bartender, so maybe it's not quite clear cut? If you do end up looking into it, let me know. I'd be really interested to read what you find. Some say the key to happiness is in managing your expectations and your perception. My gut tells me that very young people tend to be poorer than… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/06/25 05:10 AM |
| 1 | Women, would you be okay with your man getting eggs from another woman and having a baby in your womb?I love children and childrearing to an abnormal degree, but as much as I want to be like "hell yeah!" I am personally abstaining from participating in the whole IVF industry for ethical reasons, so no. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/25 01:59 AM |
| 5 | i’m 20F I want to find a husband young, 30s is not the new 20s.Regarding first time brides: Stats show the risk of getting married very young (<23) tends to drop off after about ten years of marriage. After that point, the divorce risk is about the same as women who get married in the sweet spot of 25-30. 35+ you see divorce risks increase again. https://time.com/4358792/woman-age-married-how-long/ | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/25 01:40 AM |
| 2 | How did you girls meet your significant other?High school, but we didn't date until college. We had been each other's "one that got away" until I initiated us reconnecting. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/25 08:33 PM |
| 19 | i’m 20F I want to find a husband young, 30s is not the new 20s.If you're in college, STEM majors or anything that indicates a stable, well-paying job and the ability to delay gratification is a good place to look. You will need to have a similar IQ to these men even if your interests and degree does differ. Check event boards for ways to meet people. Join more male-dominated hobbies that sound fun to you. Otherwise, you do likely want to start with your local church (especially ones that have young adult focused events for this very purpose) and volunteerin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/06/25 08:27 PM |
| 2 | No Such Thing as Red Pill Women?There are: Advantages to being a woman Disadvantages to being a woman Advantages to being a man Disadvantages to being a man Humans have a tendency to see the downsides of their situation and the upsides of other people's, i.e. the grass is greener. TRP being a men's space means most of the discussion will naturally fall to what sucks about being a guy and the privileges women often have. It seems your definition of an RPW is someone aspires to become more cognitively aware of the four categorie… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/06/25 05:44 AM |
| 8 | Real Talk: What I’ve Learned About “High-Value” Men After Dating One (Or So I Thought)No worries OP, it's a common thing that young women tend to over-select men with Dark Triad traits. As you said, a little experience can go a long way getting past this phase. You're correct that the lesson to walk away with is that confidence and words aren't enough. You need competence and actions. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/06/25 11:49 AM |
| 5 | navigating beauty as currency when you’re just okayI don't think you sound neutral about your looks, though it sounds like you've improved a lot, which is great. I've known a few guys who genuinely prefer small boobs. I once had a boyfriend pine for his ex's figure (underweight BMI, small boobs) to me several times. I know you said you don't like overly feminine stuff but Japanese underwear is the cutest and a lot of brands won't carry more than a C. Bralettes are super cute too. Just gotta lean into the advantages you do have. My personal exper… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/25 02:46 AM |
| 5 | Can a break from sex help ?When I take similar actions as you have, it's because I want my husband to pull us back together when I push us away. If he accepts my proposal without objecting, then I feel more unwanted and hurt than I did before. It's absolutely fine to take a break from sex. However, if this is a test to see if he'll fight for you/the marriage, it's likely going to backfire. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/05/25 12:22 AM |
| 4 | Any success stories where your partner left you for another woman and came back?There's a recent quote from a TV show: "the fantasy of a guy like you is how women deal with the reality of a guy like you". It reminds me a bit of what you said. I can understand being in pain and hoping there's action we can take to make it go away. Some wounds are just slow to heal, unfortunately, and there's so much risk that we do something that only sets us back. I agree there's no going back to how things were in your relationship before all this mess came to light. You can't get it back.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/05/25 07:35 AM |
| 8 | Any success stories where your partner left you for another woman and came back?He could very well come back. He would also likely continue to hide his Onlyfans subscriptions and his messages to other women if he did. OP, I think part of the reason the pregnancy doesn't feel real is because you told him you got an abortion and then told him you lied about it and are continuing the pregnancy, as mentioned in your previous post. Give the truth some time to come out and sink in. If the new girlfriend doesn't know you're pregnant now, she will know when he has to make child sup… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/05/25 07:14 AM |
| 1 | Just wanted to share my wild story as a RPW.I think it's wonderful you've both gotten to a place in life that you're happy with and proud of. Also, fun seeing someone with stats sort of like mine (age/religion/substance use/marriage length). Just goes to show how we may go down different paths but can end up at similar destinations. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/05/25 09:16 AM |
| 3 | What do average men and women typically look like in terms of physical features and fat composition, such as body fat percentage? And what societal factors shape these standards of appearance?What the average man and average women look like will vary by region. Whether a woman puts more effort in or the man will vary. Men's preference for women's body type (usually no musculature requirement and low-to-mid body fat levels) tend to be much less restrictive than a woman's preference for a men's body type (decent musculature+ low body fat). Though women tend to spend more time grooming, if the men works out more I would consider that even. My husband and I are both considered good-looki… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/25 10:48 PM |
| 1 | I am 23 and my bf is 24You asked why she doesn't have a job. She's in school full-time. While many students work alongside getting their degree, many others choose not to. Both are valid options for US students. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/25 06:29 AM |
| 1 | I am 23 and my bf is 24She's getting her master's. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/25 10:54 PM |
| 12 | I’m starting to understand men and I’m madI find less harm in the idealized man that gets portrayed to women and more that the idealized man is shown as loving the woman just the way she is. What's held true for me is that the more I'm his perfect woman, the more he's my perfect man. It takes work and sacrifice. | /r/RedPillWives | 07/05/25 01:01 AM |
| 3 | I am 23 and my bf is 24If I was having your issue, I would send a message similar to the following. "I would love to spend more time with you and to be closer. Thanks for saying you would help me with the higher price. The hotel that I was looking at for two days was $200. Would it work if you book the hotel you think would work best for me, and I'll send you the $200 to help cover it?" | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/25 12:39 AM |
| 3 | Pregnant and single. How do I fix things?I think your mom is giving some decent advice here. Listen to her and continue staying with your family and planning your next steps as you have been doing - that was a good decision on your part. My parents got pregnant young and my mom lived with my grandmother until my parents got married and started living together. My sibling was well into the toddler years at that point. It wasn't easy and it's not exactly traditional, but it was a solid situation to raise a little kid in and the bond my g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/25 10:43 PM |
| 3 | I am deeply bothered as a woman by seeing women work.I read your post as a mix between the sayings "enjoy your twenties" and "work smarter not harder" with a feminine twist. I don't quite share your feelings because I was raised with the belief that your twenties are for buckling down and working hard. That if you do it right, you set yourself up for life. But I do agree that working hard and barely making ends meet sucks. It sucks for everyone, but it can be a unique experience watching a young woman do it because we feel as though she should hav… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/25 10:30 PM |
| 5 | Imagining alpha vs. beta as a two-scale system instead of oneIt's so interesting to me that you use the word "power". I tend to use "competence". Sometimes it's funny to me how similar different frameworks and theories can be. A synonym can make the difference. I tend to think women are attracted to competence, in the many forms it can take, and use confidence as a metric to determine a man's competence. I personally think confidence is a poor metric to use and dislike when a person's confidence surpasses their competence in a given area. I still am a bit… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/04/25 04:15 PM |
| 6 | Would you stick around?I don't think that either of you hold unreasonable positions also, but this early in a relationship it doesn't make much sense for you two to give up your position for the other. It seems as though the divorce is going through soon and then your positions will align. I'm not sure what there is to do but wait. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/04/25 03:41 PM |
| 6 | Thoroughbred and Clydesdale Horses don't clean stalls. I never ask my husband to do any chores, cleaning, handyman, or household work.This reminds me a bit of the mantra "treat your man like a king and you'll be a queen". If a man has the ambition and ability to out-earn the cost of the other labor, then it can make a lot of sense for him to put his time into generating more income rather than reducing expenses. Time has value, and we should be cognizant of how much our time is worth. I've asked my husband if he'd like to hire a lawn company a few times now, but he refuses. I think he enjoys how different the task is from his … | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/03/25 01:24 AM |
| 3 | Husband struggling with weight loss, I'm struggling with attractionI highly recommend you both read the book "Atomic Habits". It explains a lot how to work with the human brain to build new habits and disable old ones. He needs to be aware of when and why his eating gets away from him and how to build around that. It was a life-changing read for me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/25 07:16 PM |
| 5 | Not feeling feminine/womanly due to chest size? 😔Hell, there are quite a few NSFW subreddits here devoted to small boobs with men clamoring in the comments for OF links. If OP does want to get the work done, I've heard fat transfers are now a competitive option to implants. There's still scarring, but would be very natural with smaller health risks and no need for follow up. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/03/25 05:12 PM |
| 10 | does income and status really make a man attractive?The most attractive male quality is competence, which can be applied to many different aspects of life. Income and status can be indicators of competence, but they're not the only things. I personally don't see unattractive 40+ men cold approaching twenty-something women as a positive indicator of how well they're doing at life. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/03/25 07:46 PM |
| 34 | Bf wants 'a bj'Is it normal for a man to want oral sex? Yes. Will it change the way he sees you? Yes, most likely in a positive way. Oral sex is sometimes seen as the most intimate and selfless act one partner can do for the other, since there's a certain vulnerability to it and the giver receives no direct pleasure. Imagine how your view of your partner might change if he did something that made you happy that you wanted very much. This is how it would be for him. It can take some practice and you don't have … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/25 06:40 PM |
| 6 | Are you attracted to most redpill men?I'm not attracted to most men period. I have good genetics and am hypergamous. There are several red pill beliefs a man could have and qualities he could possess that would hypothetically cause me to feel attracted. Every now and then I find a TRP account whose judgement I respect. That being said, my husband is not into redpill and I think we're better off for it. He prefers stoicism. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/25 06:09 PM |
| 2 | Did anyone else go into Nesting Mode when their frontal lobe developed?High cost of living, mid cost of living, low cost of living, respectively. The U.S. also uses very high (VHCOL) and ultra high (UHCOL). I'm not sure if there's a Canadian equivalent? In the US we can search by zip code to see how costly our area is compared to the US average. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/03/25 02:25 PM |
| 2 | Did anyone else go into Nesting Mode when their frontal lobe developed?That would be more than enough for HCOL, MCOL, and LCOL areas, which would be most of the US. We're in a MCOL area, family of 4, SAHM, house, annual expenses under 60k. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/03/25 11:16 PM |
| 1 | Will you pursue a relationship with a man who has a lot of female friends or has a close female friend?Is there an example of him prioritizing his old friend over your friend? | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/03/25 03:48 PM |
| 7 | Thoughts on the Outlander series?I've seen a season or two and I know my parents watched it together. "Man, fuck Claire" was a very commonly used phrase to describe the show. It does not get better. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/03/25 03:57 PM |
| 6 | Sharing a man?Costco freaking slaps. We have lunch dates in the food court and the gas savings mostly cover it. Also my kids love it there. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/03/25 04:49 AM |
| 3 | Boyfriend climbed up a few stories to help a woman get into an apartmentIf you had kids someday he would likely take that into account. He would also be older, which will probably help. This particular man may be more open to risk-taking behavior than average, but fathers generally tolerating more risk-taking behavior can be a good thing for children. Mothers tolerating less isn't bad either. This duality is one reason why two partner households do well. Per the Big 5 personality model, it sounds like he is much less Neurotic than you and likely more Open to Experie… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/03/25 02:01 PM |
| 4 | How to deal with passive aggressive partner?Per the arguments - one practice I find helpful is for each party to restate the other's argument until that person agrees it's an accurate summary. It's better to withdraw than to throw negative energy back. I'm not 100% sure what you mean by passive aggression in your case but when my partner is frustrated by me and not voicing it, I try to see where he's coming from and then spend a little of my time each day addressing the root of his frustrations. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/02/25 03:34 AM |
| 12 | How to best support investment banker husband?I got married at a similar age. My husband worked a 9-5 and then had to work on getting additional certifications and such when he was home. It seemed like he was always busy. A lot of what I learned was emotional independence. When he had free time, he wanted to do things he liked to relax. I liked a lot of the things he liked, so that usually worked. However, he didn't like all of the things I liked, such as watching movies, but I didn't want to watch them alone. I wanted to have more experien… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/25 02:01 PM |
| 7 | Would you support arranged marriage coming back into style?I'm not hopping aboard the arranged marriage train, but friends and family setting us up should definitely be more prevalent than it's become. There was a moment when I asked my parents to set me up, and they weren't prepared to help at that time. My mom had often expressed she would've wanted to pick my partner. Timing didn't work out. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/25 11:27 PM |
| – | I feel like I’m falling out of love and losing respect for my fiancé and we are getting married in 3 monthsHave you recently come out of a bad season? Some people can make it through a tough time only to fall apart at the end. Similar to how people can be workaholics for a big project and then immediately get sick or have intense burnout. If you're interested in Laura Doyle, there's the r/surrendered_wife subreddit | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/25 07:49 PM |
| 1 | I feel like I’m falling out of love and losing respect for my fiancé and we are getting married in 3 monthsI think Laura Doyle's "The Empowered Wife" book may be helpful here. Particularly the part of SFPs. Would you currently say the two of you are in a difficult season of life? I tend to believe less that people change and more that the prevalence of people's strengths and flaws changes due to their environment. If this is a good or neutral time in your life, expect that the frequency and severity of his behavior will increase. If this is a bad period, then the behavior is likely to lessen if you m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/25 02:25 PM |
| 1 | Women ,how do you prefer to split bills in your relationship and after *if* you have kids ?Our finances were separate before marriage, he paid for most dates but there were some I planned and paid for, other times I cooked. Ideal first date is the man pays for dinner, the woman pays for dessert/coffee/drinks afterwards to show interest. I am a SAHM so he pays for everything now. I make a small amount from personal projects/side hustles and keep that money. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 11:26 PM |
| 1 | I think I’m done doneNo, I mean one's sex life and finances are examples of marital aspects that can completely take over a relationship when gone wrong and cause issues that spread across its entirety. Like how OP said their sex life has led to the degradation of her self-esteem and it undermines her desire to be faithful. The finances are also dire enough to be causing issues beyond their typical scope. Addiction isn't a good example because it wouldn't really be considered an aspect of a marriage. But yes, it's b… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/02/25 10:17 PM |
| 1 | I think I’m done doneI believe there's a theory out there that says any one aspect of a marriage gone terribly wrong will quickly bleed over into others and dominate the relationship. One's sex life and finances would be prime examples. In any case, I'll refrain from making a recommendation on whether OP should work through the porn addiction, but feels it's important to point out why his recent resolution to change didn't work. It takes years for some of the most self-determined, it will likely be longer for someon… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/02/25 09:56 PM |
| 1 | Why are so many attractive women on dating apps when they pretty much have unlimited options in real life already?I was on a religious dating app briefly. I was young, very introverted, and wanted to find someone with similar values. I have never been to a club, and I've gone to a bar twice with my husband on a date because it has great food. I've never been drunk. I did quickly drop the app because I found it depressing and hit up a guy I knew from high school instead. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 03:37 PM |
| 2 | What age to start dating for marriage?I find we make better decisions when we think we'll potentially have to deal with the consequences for a long time. If we date for a boyfriend, we're more likely to compromise or overlook things because he just has to be good enough to alleviate our present day needs, such as loneliness. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/02/25 03:27 PM |
| 5 | I think I’m done doneI recommend you take your little guy on a trip to visit family. I've flown with multiple littles many, many times. It's intimidating at first but very doable. I think some distance will bring clarity. It sounds like your son will be starting school this fall? That should cut down on the value of you being at home. My husband has struggled with a porn addiction. It's a very long process and in my opinion, recovery hasn't even started for your partner yet. When my husband and I started dating, he … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/02/25 03:21 PM |
| 27 | Being in shape is truly the keyThere's going to be a big variance, but my personal experience was that your body type before/post kids doesn't change that much. Meaning if it's hard for you to stay at your ideal weight primarily through diet, it's going to be hard after kids. If you've always been slim without too much effort, especially if you breastfeed, you likely won't have that much trouble shedding the weight. Pregnant women should put on about 25-30 pounds during those nine months. Anything beyond that is pretty much g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/02/25 04:14 PM |
| 10 | MIL made my engagement ring from old jewelry. Not sure how to handle thisThis has to be a big red flag- on both him and her. I can see how you've come to this conclusion. I could also see them calling this a red flag on your part. I'm going to see her on Saturday and idk how to handle letting her know I'm not keeping it as an engagement ring tactfully. I personally would bring it up, thank her for the gesture, then apologize and try to be vulnerable with sharing why it was so important to me that I pick my engagement ring. As someone who's been married for a little w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/02/25 03:51 AM |
| 1 | For RedPill Women: What made you RedPill?5'4 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 02:42 AM |
| 1 | For RedPill Women: What made you RedPill?What made you a RPW? Or were you just born this way? For example: Did you grow up with more brothers? Live in a conservative community? Get burned by bad BP advice? Born with disadvantages that made you need to use different strategies? Get burned by general political correctness? Some other life experience that made you see things differently? And how has this affected your relationship with other women who may be BP or BP leaning? My family is conservative/trad/religious, boys were nicer to me… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 10:48 PM |
| 3 | I'm trying so hard not not resent men but the internet is making it difficult. I'm starting to regret ever standing up for them as a conservative woman. How do I get over this feeling?Do you have men in your life that you like? Maybe hang out with them more. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/25 07:12 PM |
| 4 | Need post-breakup encouragement 😔I think the moment you guys did get back together, you'd realize so much of the love and trust is gone. I think you would be anxious about him doing the same thing to you again. A relationship with someone you don't believe will break your heart and a relationship with someone who already has and probably will again are two very different things. Getting back together won't give you back what you had. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/02/25 02:16 AM |
| – | Red Pill advice for women is conveniently to make your life as limited as possible, while for men, the sky is the limitI don't believe I did. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/25 02:37 AM |
| – | Red Pill advice for women is conveniently to make your life as limited as possible, while for men, the sky is the limitYes, it is my personal preference. I am capable and competent enough to do things differently yet choose not to. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/25 02:16 AM |
| – | Red Pill advice for women is conveniently to make your life as limited as possible, while for men, the sky is the limitNo, it's distinct from BDSM dynamics. Different women will have different reasons. I personally deal with a lot of responsibility during most of my days and I want to feel like I have a partner who can effectively take some of that burden away when we're together. There are several leadership styles that aren't domineering in nature. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/25 01:53 AM |
| – | Red Pill advice for women is conveniently to make your life as limited as possible, while for men, the sky is the limitOh yes, I believe that's the norm/majority. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 11:15 PM |
| – | Red Pill advice for women is conveniently to make your life as limited as possible, while for men, the sky is the limitThere's not a lot of shame in having incompatible goals or values. But yes, generally speaking TRP is about as attractive to women as FDS was to men. Something about the big emphasis on oneself and the heavily stylized tone used in their writing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 09:46 PM |
| – | Red Pill advice for women is conveniently to make your life as limited as possible, while for men, the sky is the limitI saw your PPD post the other day and remembered your username! Hello. :) A little bit over the years, but I tend to believe I'm not as helpful here as I am on RPW. I have very little talent or fondness for debate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 09:41 PM |
| – | Red Pill advice for women is conveniently to make your life as limited as possible, while for men, the sky is the limitGenerally, yes. We're complementary subs in that both TRP and RPW try to help their own participants maximize their sexual strategy. It should be no surprise there's not always overlap between the ideal male sexual strategy and the ideal female one. RPW is not plate school. We also recommend women stay away from TRP and other manosphere spaces. It often hurts more than it helps. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 08:54 PM |
| 9 | Red Pill advice for women is conveniently to make your life as limited as possible, while for men, the sky is the limitSettle down as early as possible because supposedly high value men only want young women RPW does not recommend this or say this. Youth is a major factor of SMV but there's also RMV to consider, which is more likely to increase with age. There is a correlation between marrying young with divorce. RPW generally encourages relationships with good, non-TRP men and using terms like HVM tends to get push back. -Don´t sleep with a lot of men, ideally be a virgin -Traveling and tattoos are red flags I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 08:15 PM |
| 5 | A moment to celebrate a success, and thank RPW!What a lovely post! Thank you for sharing. A related post for anyone interested in how/how not to bring down a hero. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/25 01:36 AM |
| 13 | My husband wants me to quit my 6 figures jobYou could leave it at something like "I wouldn't quit until I have something I would be excited about lined up". Humans are not very good at quitting. We're much better at replacing. So much of addiction recovery, for example, is figuring out what your addiction gave you so that you can figure out a healthier alternative. Even in the early retirement communities when someone has the finances all sorted, people won't recommend quitting your day job until you have a solid plan for what you're goin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/25 09:28 PM |
| 38 | My husband wants me to quit my 6 figures jobHas anyone else dealt with a situation like this? Am I overreacting, or should I stand my ground? If your current job feels like an essential part of your happiness, then stand your ground. The more you discuss the issue, the more your conversation partner feels like they can change your mind. You'd have to be brief. You will likely fight, as I've noticed that there's always conflict in a marriage when one people feels like the other is prioritizing something over the marriage. The conflict is a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/25 09:08 PM |
| 2 | Watching porn is cheating on your girlfriend/wifeOP, I think your post would be improved if you removed everything before the paragraph "The issue with this is" and also removed your last paragraph. Putting your title in quotes would also help. | /r/TheRedPill | 27/01/25 07:42 PM |
| 15 | Married RPW, how do you manage your finances?It sounds like you might benefit from having a "ours, hers, his" setup. Income goes into a joint account, and that joint account transfers a set amount into your personal accounts every month. You can decide whether these personal accounts should cover savings or if it's just discretionary spending. My finances are all joint, but my husband and I married in our last year of college. He's always been the sole breadwinner. He doesn't really spend on himself, I get a set amount for discretionary sp… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/25 03:45 PM |
| 8 | I feel rejected, my bf told me "I don't think I can just keep paying for everything", how do I deal with this situation?It seems like the first step would be to ask him to please specify what he means by "everything", and then to assess whether that's something you can be happy with. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/01/25 04:08 PM |
| 10 | Adulting is realizing all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.I think those are all on the bottom tiers on Maslow's hierarchy of needs - so yes, humans will definitely search for love, shelter, and security before higher tiers like self-actualization. Once humans achieve the lower tiers though, their attention turns to the higher tiers rather than to be content. Humans need enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose to feel consistently happy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/01/25 06:51 PM |
| 4 | Masters of love - I read PDFs so you don't have to - An Intro to John GottmanI'm excited for this, I've been thinking a lot about contempt and how it begins in a marriage. My theory so far is that it stems from a belief that our partner will not learn what we believe they need to from life, that they need things spelled out to them, that they need to be taught. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/01/25 03:52 PM |
| 0 | “Women live their life on easy mode”u/ChamomileMist can we remove a star from this user please? | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/01/25 11:57 PM |
| 1 | “Women live their life on easy mode”So until I see some stats that exclude these bogus categories, I will disregard them. You do you, but if you want to remain intellectually consistent, I would ensure you research your initial claims about who perpetuates sexual violence against men and throw them out if those studies have the same or similar issues with their data collection. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/01/25 10:50 PM |
| 1 | Hard Nun Mode attemptI've been thinking about you a lot. Thanks for posting an update. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/01/25 08:19 PM |
| 0 | “Women live their life on easy mode”I can see how some of my previous comment was poorly phrased. This may help you. It defines some terminology used and specifies which sex is commiting the assaults against men. https://www.cdc.gov/intimate-partner-violence/about/intimate-partner-violence-sexual-violence-and-stalking-among-men.html Please note that men being made to penetrate is a separate figure from rape, because of how rape is technically defined to only include forced penetration, and most women are not penetrating the men th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/01/25 07:35 PM |
| 2 | Boyfriend "refuses" to provide, but still expects me to clean his apartment?Hey, I'm glad you guys can sit down and have those kinds of talks, it's super important. I agree with the general advice that was floating around this comment section to keep an eye on his actions in the coming weeks/months. I hope him getting that job close by helps to sort a lot of this out! | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/25 10:12 PM |
| 4 | How do I get my husband to help more with baby careI apologize for not taking the time to write out a comment more specific to your situation, but I wrote up a post about managing your relationship with young kids awhile back: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/152bvpb/7_tips_to_retain_a_loving_relationship_with_small/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Maybe something here will resonate with you? | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/25 04:35 PM |
| 1 | Boyfriend "refuses" to provide, but still expects me to clean his apartment?FIRE isn't keeping all the money in a savings or checking account, if that's what you're thinking. He is investing. He's saving a large enough principle where the amount he needs to withdraw to live on is less than the average returns of the stock market. What we need to retire a little early is basically savings = annual expenses x 30. A 3% withdrawal rate should be easily made up for by investment gains most years, and the better years should cover for the worse ones. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/25 04:01 PM |
| 6 | For those in a happy marriage, what qualities did you look for in a man when dating?Someone you can work through conflict with effectively for both parties. Someone who acknowledges and makes up for their mistakes/shortcomings. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/01/25 07:08 PM |
| 7 | Boyfriend "refuses" to provide, but still expects me to clean his apartment?Damn, that's rough. I think some people want to assume more money = more generous, and cynical people often want to insist on the opposite, but I think the reality is people with money can fall anywhere on the generous spectrum. My ex before my husband was lower upper class. He was not frugal - I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw him purchase a water bottle at Disney for $6 and then throw it away half-drunk five minutes later. He told me once his family regularly enjoyed ordering every dessert… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/01/25 06:16 PM |
| 3 | Boyfriend "refuses" to provide, but still expects me to clean his apartment?I'm sorry OP, I really don't think the two of you have a compatible lifestyle. My husband and I are very familiar with FIRE and we're working towards him retiring before 50 (I am a SAHM). The big difference for me is that my husband has built me into his life and his financial calculations - and before we were married he knew he had to account for a woman in his numbers if he wanted a woman by his side. I'm worried you can't afford to stay with this man, perhaps even if the housing and the food … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/01/25 04:37 PM |
| 3 | Boyfriend "refuses" to provide, but still expects me to clean his apartment?If you haven't sat down with him yet to communicate what you expect from a marriage with him, absolutely do so. You are not able to be financially independent at this point in time. He will need to adjust his annual spend to include your housing and food costs for you to be able to marry him, even if this means his retirement is delayed some months or years. If he is unwilling to do this, the two of you are incompatible. If he is unwilling to sit down with you and give you a straight answer, I w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/01/25 02:35 AM |
| 10 | Boyfriend "refuses" to provide, but still expects me to clean his apartment?The FIRE community is kind of a different breed - especially if this guy is thinking about leanFIRE. Couple things to ask/keep in mind: - He's likely only planning for his retirement (not considering a future family) which will likely be a low, fixed annual spend such as 40k. He may be reluctant to spend any of it on you and you will likely be expected to finance any expenses of yours that exceed this annual amount - You may spend your honeymoon years working full time and being expected to cook… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/01/25 09:56 PM |
| 2 | “Women live their life on easy mode”And in either case the overwhelming majority of perpetrators of sexual assault no matter the victim are men. This is because for past and present, in most places, rape's defined as forced penetration. Forced envelopment was not included and most women aren't exactly using strap-ons to perform SA. When you include forced envelopment the SA stats become much more similar across the sexes. About 1 out of 2 women will experience sexual violence verses 1 out of 3 men. https://www.cdc.gov/sexual-viole… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/01/25 03:11 AM |
| 2 | How did you get over your fear of having kids?My mom had all C-sections (tiny pelvis), as did my mil (big head babies). I've had two natural deliveries and easy pregnancies with the worst parts being some bed rest with my second and a miscarriage scare with my first. I had had some implantation bleeding and minor cramping, my ob was pretty sure I was fine but recommended I get checked out anyway. All that to say, we're not our mothers and ymmv. Be vigilant for the early warning signs and you'll probably be just fine. Timely treatment can he… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/01/25 01:02 AM |
| 10 | Did Mrs Midwest win the lottery?I think the middle class often has to choose whether their extra income goes to discretionary spending or retirement savings. You've chosen the latter, she's chosen the former. It's also very common for businesses to send free items to influencers in exchange for them talking about the product in a video and having a referral link. This can also happen with restaurants and travel. She likely has a big enough following for this to be the safe assumption for anything she talks about in specific de… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/24 10:24 PM |
| 9 | Struggling to understand boyfriends sexual desires and porn useMen's desire for variety and visual stimuli is natural just like a human's desire for high calorie high sugar food is natural. When we overdo it and become sick, we need to be able to learn our lesson and recalibrate what works for our bodies. Losing the ability to orgasm with a woman should've been a wake up call. It's my personal theory that being unable to trust our partner's ability to learn life's lessons is what leads to contempt. OP, my husband has a history of porn addiction. He has alwa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/24 05:03 AM |
| 8 | Unsatisfied with a “good” man.I often like to take on a personal assistant-style role. I come up with about three options, then present them to him and ask him to choose. He knows whatever he picks I'll be happy with, and I feel like he led us and made the final decision. One person "doing the research" and the other "analyzing the data" works well for us. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/12/24 02:44 AM |
| 7 | What are you guys thoughts on “black cat” energy on TikTok?Actually, if you hate cats and don't make eye contact with them, they really like you and want to come see what you are all about, but cats are weirdos Cats are tsunderes confirmed | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/12/24 02:35 AM |
| 45 | Unsatisfied with a “good” man.Few things you could try: You could roleplay more in the bedroom You could also ask him to wrestle more or pin you down You can request that he make a decision and cite you being too stressed - "can you pick the show tonight, I'm feeling overwhelmed" You can request that he make a decision and cite you wanting to be surprised - "can you decide the restaurant, it makes it more exciting for me" You can request that he make a decision and cite you wanting to do something nice for him - "what would … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/12/24 07:58 PM |
| 1 | Attractiveness, success, and loyaltyI agree very much that it depends on the woman and how we're defining success, loyalty, and attractiveness. The more extreme the traits, the more likely it is you'll compromise elsewhere. Let's dive into loyalty for a moment because you discussed the other two. When determining loyalty, a woman might look at: - A man's inclination to physically cheat - A man's inclination to emotionally cheat - How much porn he watches - How many "thirst trap" social media accounts he follows - If he gives money… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/24 06:38 PM |
| 7 | tips for finding marriage-material men?The kind of man you want - where would he spend his time? Joining a church group or a hobby activity/class is great advice. I would also consider hanging out with friends and family and telling them that you're looking for someone and am having a hard time finding someone. Ask them to keep an eye out for you. Any place you think is fun enough to risk going alone? Farmer's markets are cool. Even just getting used to going someplace solo might be a good thing, even if there aren't men there. I don… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/24 02:31 PM |
| 1 | Need advice pleaseWhat is something you can do in this time to change your environment? Is there some home improvement project or large mess you've been putting off? A car that needs cleaning? Furniture that needs moving? I think starting with a large tangible difference to your common living spaces could be a good way to send a message to him when he comes back. Then try to make sure everything is ready for Christmas. Don't worry so much you put off planning and then he comes home to a stressed partner that need… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/24 02:26 PM |
| 4 | How should I split finances?Not illegal to have separate accounts but in the event of a divorce, any account that has been used during your marriage is considered "co-mingled assets" and will be split alongside the rest of your marital assets. This can be mitigated through a prenup if you go that route. As for his plan, it sounds fine for a dual earning couple but it won't work if you have children and work park-time or not at all. I would ask about that and write down the modified plan somewhere for future reference. I do… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/24 02:10 PM |
| 3 | I’m abrasive: part 2. I have questions.Here's the wikipedia link. I would Google "big five personality conscientiousness". | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/24 08:19 PM |
| 6 | I’m abrasive: part 2. I have questions.For your first two questions - you imagine yourself acting that way and then you imagine how you'd like to be treated afterwards. Rudeness and miscommunications are unlikely to be eradicated in a marriage, but can decrease in frequency. If you haven't already, tell him you were deeply embarrassed by the grocery store incident and would not want that to repeat. For your third question, I have the opposite position. I don't want to talk about it and I don't get resentful if I've had some time to t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/24 03:32 PM |
| 12 | I’m abrasive: part 2. I have questions.What are the questions you have? I think I'm missing them in the body of the post. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/24 03:00 PM |
| 3 | Marrying Me Set Him BackThat's tricky. Some logical arguments to dates could be things like oxytocin release from prolonged eye contact strengthening your intimacy and connection. Positive interactions and eye contact between you should also lead to dopamine release. These are happy chemicals - increased oxytocin especially should help you both be happier. Unfortunately, his stance as you write it ("we're good as we are, we don't need to do maintenance work for our marriage") is one that seems illogical - and there's a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/12/24 11:25 PM |
| 3 | Marrying Me Set Him BackNot a problem - I'm pretty confident I could help you make that meal list. I've got two little boys, I've cooked for people on keto diets, I genuinely love to puzzle this stuff out. I would consider looking into other church groups then - in my own biased experience, Catholic churches tend to offer these programs and aren't pushy about conversion. But seriously, dates will really help. I sometimes find myself feeling like I don't like my husband and then I realize the last time the two of us hun… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/12/24 09:56 PM |
| 9 | Marrying Me Set Him BackOP sounds like she's taken on more responsibility that she could handle. The gap between where she is and where she needs to be to successfully maintain the load is so daunting that her subconscious is making her freak the heck out and rebel. Unfortunately, the only way to make things better (following the assumption she stays married) is to push through by making small sustainable changes in the short-term and environmental changes in the long-term (such as finishing her degree and getting a be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/12/24 09:34 PM |
| 27 | Marrying Me Set Him BackI'm going to be honest: there's a lot that's fucked up here but there seems like a lot of opportunity to make numerous minor lifestyle changes that would alter your situation for the better and make things liveable. Make a list of 20-30 meals that you both will eat and that either could cook. Rotate it by week. No further need for meal planning. Drop the cooking classes. You're spending money on something he doesn't even want to do. You could potentially offer to trade cooking classes for dance … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/12/24 08:02 PM |
| 5 | Feminine attractive style balance with modestyThis is a bit tmi but I tend to go for longer skirts that are about knee length, and then not wear underwear around the house. Also, dudes love thigh high socks in my experience. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/12/24 02:14 AM |
| – | Invest in Your Wardrobe in 2025Love A-line skirts! I'm not ready to go for quality yet - I like to get something new every 2-3 months and don't really want to be wearing the same things in 5-10 years anyway - but I've had fun this past year buying skirts with a matching blouse! It's nice to not worry about putting together an outfit in the mornings. I plan to slowly convert a big part of my wardrobe to high-waisted knee length skirts, blouses, slip dresses to wear underneath, and Korean earrings (seriously, the asymmetrical d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/24 08:24 PM |
| 1 | My fiancé wants me to address him by a term of endearmentIt could still be a good starting point! My sweet, sweetie, sweetheart, the candy man, or maybe something like swiper. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/24 05:43 PM |
| 2 | Should I move back in with parents or continue living with my “boyfriend” in a different country?Our environments shape who we are. The people we surround ourselves with shape who we are. Hanging around shitty men makes women jaded - you see it all the time with sex workers and strippers. There's a good chance you won't like who you are as much when you're stuck with a guy who betrays the women close to him. If you can't stay there and happily perform the girlfriend duties you were before you found out, there's a good chance he kicks you out, the two of you start fighting all the time, or y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/12/24 03:38 PM |
| 17 | Should I move back in with parents or continue living with my “boyfriend” in a different country?I would absolutely move back with your parents. It's one thing to explain to your future husband that you were duped, it's another to explain that you stayed and willingly participated in hurting an engagement. People who want to get married tend to frown on being an affair partner. Unless there's something I'm missing? Is this acceptable in your culture or in his? Does your fiancee know about you and approve of you? | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/12/24 12:22 AM |
| 1 | My fiancé wants me to address him by a term of endearmentPick an adjective that describes him or that describes how you feel about him. See if it sounds more natural saying "Mister" or "My" before the adjective or by tacking a "man" after it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/24 02:03 PM |
| 5 | When "Babe" Turns to "Nadia": Am I in Trouble?Have you told him you prefer pet names? What does he prefer? My husband asked me to start calling him by his first name once because he thought it would add to his happiness. It could be that your boyfriend has a similar preference and projected it onto you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/12/24 04:21 PM |
| 4 | Becoming softerYes, my SIL does. She's very warm and personable. I think introverts who have genuine interest in the people they're in conversation with have an advantage giving off this vibe. She's soft-spoken, listens well, asks a lot of thoughtful questions. 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' is the best way to learn this behavior that I've found in my life so far. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/12/24 12:21 AM |
| 3 | Husband's New Petname?I don't know if I'd wanna be called that but Mr. Turniphead is one of the most iconic fictional characters for me, so it is pretty epic | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/12/24 10:59 PM |
| 3 | FIL, who can’t speak/understand English, refuses to use google translate when he visits. Husband and I having a disagreement about it. Please help.FIL speaking to you at 4am seems to be a major pain point that's smaller in scope. I would start with communicating to him directly or through your husband exactly what you would like these early mornings to look like when it's normal waking hours. See if you can get him earplugs or a sleeping mask to help him not wake. Then, if he doesn't listen and attempts to speak with you, be firm. "No, no, go sleep." Fix this first and then revisit the issue with a fresh mind and look for other smaller opp… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/12/24 05:28 PM |
| 3 | Discussion: Men in high earning careers more likely to be unfaithful or...To add to your theory, there is a slight positive correlation between cheating and above average Openness to Experience as well as above average Extroversion per the Big 5 Model. No one is without risk, but the risk-taking extroverts are a bigger one. I bet there's a strong correlation between testosterone levels and Openness to Experience. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/24 03:11 PM |
| 1 | Repost: Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire — A Guide to Marrying RichI was sad to see it gone but I'm happy you found the other discussion post and linked it in your comment below! | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/24 04:01 PM |
| 3 | Repost: Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire — A Guide to Marrying RichFrom what I can tell, wealthy men can go either way on this issue - there's been a couple of British royalty, about as old money as one can get that have infamously run off with an actress. I dated a new money guy who told me I didn't need to "open any doors" for him, because he could do that himself. He very much liked the sweet, young, virginal thing I had going on and didn't expect anything more. I would likely agree with you 100% if you had stated the majority of wealthy men go for similar s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/24 03:41 PM |
| 2 | Repost: Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire — A Guide to Marrying RichIt's all good! He's taking conversion classes this year actually, and was always cool with marriage in my faith and raising the kids in it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/24 03:22 PM |
| 4 | Repost: Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire — A Guide to Marrying RichOh no, he's one of the best looking men I've ever seen and the first/only man I've been sexually attracted to. I thought I might've been asexual until I met him and then realized how wrong I was. I compromised mostly on religious views. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/24 04:31 AM |
| 4 | Repost: Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire — A Guide to Marrying RichYeah, sometimes I feel sad as well but I acknowledge I was really lucky that I didn't sacrifice much at all to match with my partner and many people don't share that good fortune. I think it's why we try to encourage self-reflection and self-improvement where we can, in hopes that less women have to make big compromises. I also think if women are in decent places themselves before choosing a mate, it helps them to not overcorrect on any one quality and to get the most of what they need and want. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/24 03:51 AM |
| 5 | Repost: Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire — A Guide to Marrying RichI didn't marry for money (and the OOP didn't either - she married for love to a high-earner) but as someone who strongly considered income it was because I knew I wanted to be a SAHM and I wanted at least a lower middle class lifestyle. I married someone with good earning potential because there were other things I wanted to do with my time. I think it's worth talking about potential trade-offs for sure! One that's common that comes to my mind is lackluster physical attraction/sexual chemistry -… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/24 03:25 AM |
| 19 | Repost: Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire — A Guide to Marrying RichMy intuition tells me (and the divorce stats by career) that infidelity has as much to do opportunity/access than with income. A doctor in a hospital who works regularly with nurses and residents is going to have completely different risks than a doctor in a private practice who specializes in prostate cancer. If one is looking for faithfulness and income, then more of the male-dominated fields that attract introverts are probably the way to go. Actuaries have the lowest divorce rates of any car… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/11/24 04:09 PM |
| 4 | Want to marry rich? Consider these things first.“Broke men cheat too” yes but no one quits their job to depend on a guy like that. It’s less consequential on one’s life to leave a guy on $60k. My point is it’s a real possibility to be in a position where you have to tolerate cheating or lose at least part of your livelihood. This absolutely happens to lower income families where the cost of childcare outweighs the woman's earning potential. There are many, many SAHMs out there who are doing so because it's a necessity, not a choice. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/11/24 04:04 PM |
| 1 | Really drawn to RP and "traditional" lifestyles, feeling conflictedThat's sort of what I mean, they're not trying to have it all at once because the big career and the marriage and kids is too much to take on at once. Those women have decided to do career first and then hopefully have time for family after. I've seen it work out for some and not for others. I personally think if you can swing doing the family first and then the career that that can work will, but it also has its risks. The risks with the career first are that you run out of time for fertility a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/11/24 07:16 PM |
| 7 | Really drawn to RP and "traditional" lifestyles, feeling conflictedI've heard it said before that women can have it all, just not all at once. You might need to scale back work a bit when the kids are under five or hire additional help, but then the career can come back and continue later on. I don't believe we have any ECs with older kids around, but I've had some women in my family who took time off for childrearing and then went back in and had a career. You'll figure out the right balance throughout the various stages. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/11/24 01:42 AM |
| 6 | Resentment in marriage and struggle to want to tryReading stuff like Laura Doyle, it feels like the main message is change what is in your control and hope that spurs him to love you better. Not quite. Her advice boils down to: stop contributing to the negative environment in your relationship and start making yourself happy to drastically increase your chances of contributing to a positive environment. Look into negative and positive feedback loops. You're in a bad cycle, her advice gets you to break it. I would stop actively initiating. You c… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/11/24 08:42 PM |
| 3 | How Far to Submit?It's hard to say. I think if FIL has regular opportunity to spend time with his granddaughter doing other things he wants to do, then it's probably fine. I don't even really think this is an issue you have to be submissive to other men because it seems like your husband's best judgment is that your daughter would've been fine? I am likely missing some context on what European football matches at a local religious institution's playground are like. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/11/24 06:32 AM |
| 21 | Conventional attractiveness vs your partner's tasteI don't know what you mean when you say it's near impossible to have targeted muscle gain. You are only going to gain muscle in the areas where you're working your muscles. If your partner is mentioning specific parts of your body he'd like to be larger, like butt or thighs, then that's the best place to focus your work-outs. As for your general question, his preference is fine to keep in mind but it seems like something that's going to dip into the unfavorable part of the Pareto principle - the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/11/24 06:17 AM |
| 3 | What have been some effective ways for you to improve your looks/femininity?I think some of the easiest ways are dressing better and perhaps Crest whitening strips. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/24 09:10 PM |
| 6 | How Far to Submit?What are you defining as submission? Can you give an example of a hypothetical interaction between you and his family where you think you should be showing deference? | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/24 04:34 PM |
| 1 | Who pays for dates?I only went on two true first dates in-person. They paid. With one guy, I bought us some eclairs at a dessert shop afterwards. I always thought guys were historically supposed to pay as a polite way to acknowledge the higher personal grooming costs that women typically have with clothes and makeup as well as the fact that it normally took women more time to be date-ready. Maybe the economy and culture has changed enough for this to no longer be relevant, though I personally don't think so. In re… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/24 04:28 PM |
| 5 | Who pays for dates?I once heard that certain bits of South Korean culture handled this debate the following way: the man pays for dinner, the woman pays for dessert or coffee afterwards to signal she wants to see the man again. Always thought that was cute. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/24 07:45 PM |
| 2 | Do I look feminineI think you look a little like Megan from Katseye. If you have some old pictures with different hair and makeup that could be helpful to see. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/11/24 02:17 PM |
| 29 | How does submission work to you?In ballroom dancing, a woman steps back with her right foot in tandem with a man stepping forward with his left. If a woman waits until the man steps forward for her to move back, she's getting her toes squashed. If the couple can't manage to move at the exact same time, then it's better for the woman to move back first. To continue with the metaphor, if I disliked dancing with someone, I found a new partner. In general, I want to play my role and I don't need the desire to do so to be inspired … | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/11/24 03:36 AM |
| 1 | Please help me reprogram!I like the Maiden Mother Matriarch podcast with Louise Perry | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/11/24 02:41 PM |
| 5 | Took the red pill years ago and reinvented myself to be a feminine, submissive woman but now I’m 30 and STILL single. Please help me.The first half of that sounds lovely. It seems like I missed the mark, and most of us probably will due to the nature of the internet and having limited information. I agree with FLP that the problem is likely with RMV, as you seem to have a high enough SMV to get your foot in the door. It could also be logistical, as YKWIT was trying to get at with the first dates. Cities and places like New England have a higher average age for marriage. A nice congruence for these points is to develop hobbies… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/11/24 02:40 PM |
| 10 | Took the red pill years ago and reinvented myself to be a feminine, submissive woman but now I’m 30 and STILL single. Please help me.I agree that if OP isn't getting girlfriend status, it's likely because of how the men feel or aren't feeling when they're with her. OP, I know my husband liked being around me when we met because he knew how much I liked him. I hung off every word he said - I genuinely thought he was the most fascinating and funny person in the world and it showed. When we were dating, we had a lot of fun together. For us, that looked like playing video games we both loved and finding shows we wanted to watch t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/11/24 03:05 AM |
| 7 | How to deal when you are right in a situation and your man doesn't believe you/thinks differently?If he keeps asking you, I would say that it looks AI-gen or AI-enhanced to you rather than saying it is AI-gen or AI-enhanced. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/11/24 05:25 PM |
| 5 | How to deal when you are right in a situation and your man doesn't believe you/thinks differently?He is acting similarly to how I would if I wanted to shut a person down. In my experience, I have acted this way when I've heard the other side of the argument before and or done enough research to feel confident in addition to feeling like whoever I'm talking to isn't saying anything new and I don't think they're going to listen me - I think they're going to twist my argument and use it against me. I'm not saying this is how he feels - just that the reason behind his actions could be something … | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/11/24 04:31 PM |
| 2 | How to deal when you are right in a situation and your man doesn't believe you/thinks differently?Have you asked to hear out his reasons on why he thinks it's not AI? | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/11/24 02:42 PM |
| 7 | How to deal when you are right in a situation and your man doesn't believe you/thinks differently?Something that comforts me to think of is that whatever opinion you hold, there is likely someone smarter and/or more knowledgeable who has a different one. AI art is very controversial right now and artists don't always agree on what's AI. Some people are anti-AI in all cases, while others don't like AI gen and might be fine with AI enhancement. I have seen some cases where the artist says no AI, did multiple sketches, did fine detail l, many individual layers and still get raked across the coa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/11/24 02:23 PM |
| 3 | Beneficial requestIt's funny to me to hear others' perceptions, as I usually think a lot of the "stay and work it through advice" is the stuff that gets downvoted while the "you deserve better" floats to the top. Also that the male RP responses tend to get pushback. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/11/24 08:59 PM |
| 3 | How to respond to silent treatmentIt depends. Either way, everything after OP wrote "EDIT" was not there when I wrote the original comment. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/11/24 04:26 PM |
| 2 | [Discussion] the reality of the wallI don't think there's anything in RPD's comment to suggest his wife isn't well-dressed and put together. Certainly one can dress well without being revealing, and it certainly sounds like RPD's wife is successfully maintaining attraction. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/11/24 04:53 AM |
| 2 | How to respond to silent treatmentDoes he also agree it's silent treatment? Sometimes it can appear that way to one partner while the other might feel like they need time to gather their thoughts/sort through their emotions before having a conversation. Edit: It seems like a bad fight and there were misplays on both sides. It happens. It's going to continue to happen. You have to decide if your partner's flaws emerge at a frequency/severity that you can live with. You can work on your own flaws and see if that has an effect on t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/11/24 10:47 PM |
| 2 | What is femininity to you?This is a big part of why RPW emphasizes that it's a toolbox. Take what helps you and leave what doesn't. It becomes easier to know what will help as you date and marry. Women give the pieces of advice you've mentioned because it has genuinely helped them and they in turn want to help others. It's a generous act and no one woman is going to give advice that's helpful to all of the rest of us. If there's something you're not seeing that you wish you could, I encourage you to add to the community … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/24 01:48 PM |
| 3 | Whats everyones opinion on the 4B movement?If it's done by friends, family, classmates, and coworkers as you say, then 4B wouldn't be any help. At the moment I think the women in South Africa and places like India might be more deserving of your passion - and there's a real way people around the world can help these women. If South Korea's legal system was failing with the repeated hidden camera violations I don't think it's any match for AI-modified porn. A movement like 4B is going to do very little. It'll probably end up doing more ha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/24 09:20 PM |
| 2 | Whats everyones opinion on the 4B movement?I think it's a poor option for both making a point and making women safer. Anti-rape device R&D funding is what I suggest to anyone here looking to do either. Rape-aXe is one that comes to mind. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/24 08:57 PM |
| 1 | Is is possible to restore heated passion in a relationship? Maybe some mystery? Anyone who succeeded?It's JBP's advice. Here's a clip of him saying it, although it's not the one I watched originally and it's edited a bit weirdly: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5Si8dqAQAUA. I typically like his advice for married couples. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/24 01:29 AM |
| 3 | Got proofs of his cheating.Try to focus on things that will be beneficial for you whether you stay or go. Form social support that isn't directly related to him. Get in better shape. Adopt healthier habits. Save money. Maybe consider a post-nuptial agreement. Give yourself options. Give yourself the chance to make the best choice you can, when you feel like you can make it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/24 11:37 PM |
| 0 | Is worth ending my engagement over libido mismatch?This sounds solvable to me. You either put more stress on your plate, take some stress off his plate, continue to work on your girl game, or find another way to meet your emotional need for validation, do more physical activity, etc etc. There's lots to try. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/24 11:30 PM |
| 11 | moving in together? is this a bad idea?I tend to think of it as a bad idea but it sounds like you basically have moved in already? I agree your mom's place doesn't sound like a great environment. If you were my family member I would ask you if you've looked into dorms, campus housing, etc. You might be eligible for different aid now that your parent's income has been split up and your mom isn't in the best place financially. My best advice for you if you do move in with your boyfriend is that if your dad's in better shape than your m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/24 11:15 PM |
| 6 | Whats everyones opinion on the 4B movement?I tend to assume that the participants in this movement are so focused on the imperfections of the 4Bs that they aren't properly considering the downsides of a lifestyle without them. Finding good things for one's life to replace what sex, dating, marriage, and kids give is a massive undertaking. If one thinks a job and some friends will do it I think they're in for a lot of trouble as they enter into middle age. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/24 11:04 PM |
| 3 | Is is possible to restore heated passion in a relationship? Maybe some mystery? Anyone who succeeded?I've heard it explained as one is for maintenance, two for growth. I think under this guideline, a date is defined as at least a couple hours of uninterrupted quality time in a setting that allows for emotional intimacy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/24 10:51 PM |
| 12 | Is is possible to restore heated passion in a relationship? Maybe some mystery? Anyone who succeeded?Ambiance, environment, and quality time are some of your best friends here. I've heard two dates a week as a recommendation for married couples - maybe you and your husband could each plan more. If your connection is super strong and you're already very happy with each other, I think spending more time in intimate and romantic settings is a stronger bet than investing more in personal interests and hobbies. LD advice is going to work best for women who are stuck in a negative feedback loop and n… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/11/24 01:18 PM |
| 6 | Do these actions suggest I’m being used?If you're not ready for sex, I would recommend you invite him on dates in public places during the day. It's not clear to me from your post how often you're reaching out and initiating quality conversations so it's hard to say what's going on. But in general, if there's something you want, put in effort to make it happen. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/11/24 06:22 PM |
| 4 | How did your mother shape the red pill woman you are today?I personally think she's too neurotic - she carries a lot of negativity and anxiety with her to the point her sleep quality is very poor (she often wakes up and can't fall back asleep) and it makes her interpersonal relationships more fragile and prone to drama. I remember when our family moved twice within 15 months and it seriously affected her to the point of constant crying and depression for about 1-2 months each move. It was hard to be in the same room as her. She nags my father often. I'v… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/11/24 07:08 PM |
| 5 | Do I need to be more submissive to make my husband happier?I agree that the issue here is best solved by you performing the task and making modifications as you see fit. As someone who dabbles with business myself, I understand where he's coming from. If I'm requesting a task, I don't want to hear anything that sounds likes 'no, I can't do that'. However, I'm happy and satisfied if I receive the work and am told something like "while I was working, I thought this would be a better way". Part of being a good homemaker is solving these issues before they … | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/11/24 03:23 PM |
| 4 | How did your mother shape the red pill woman you are today?My mother has her strengths as well as her flaws. Overall I would say she set a good example of being a wife and mother, but part of the reason I'm here is to learn to mitigate her shortcomings, as we share a similar personality. I would also say that we have a good relationship, though she is adept at pointing out the things I'm not doing very well which causes temporary strains. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/11/24 03:03 PM |
| 14 | What with the trend of women claiming their partner doesn’t notice other women? #observationI personally think it's the bigger brag to say one's husband notices other women and can find them attractive but still vastly prefers his wife and chooses not to pursue or contemplate on the other women. Lack of ability and lack of restraint are two different things. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/10/24 02:48 PM |
| 3 | How long for the engagement before getting married ?Catholics typically have a six month minimum to plan the ceremony and go through the pre-Cana process. My engagement lasted seven months. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/10/24 07:23 PM |
| 7 | Is being boring a big deal? If not, why do men never commit to me?Cooking for someone is a lovely thing to do. Per the love languages model, that would be classified as an act of service. From your post, it sounds like you struggle with words of affirmation and potentially quality time. It can take quite a bit of effort to learn how to make someone feel loved. The book I mentioned should be a great start. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/10/24 01:52 AM |
| 9 | Is being boring a big deal? If not, why do men never commit to me?A big part of being in a relationship is making the other person feel special, desired, and interesting. Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People". | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/24 10:42 PM |
| 2 | i got the man of my dreamsFor sure! My husband and I met in high school and didn't date due to various issues until I tracked him down when we were in college. It wasn't a perfect beginning, and one should always keep one eye open when dating, but things certainly have the potential to work out and I'm glad you found someone you're excited about. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/24 01:41 AM |
| 6 | i got the man of my dreamsBest of luck to you, OP! | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/10/24 09:12 PM |
| 12 | I’m considering leaving my fiance, I need to get this off my chestIt's not an easy decision and I acknowledge that I don't have to deal with the consequences whatever you decide. On one hand, everyone will have their red flags and bad days. On a day we're not getting along, I would likely write about my husband in a way that was negative to a degree where I wouldn't agree with my own words when in a happy or neutral state of mind. On the other hand, that's after being married for years with a lot of stress and responsibility. I generally felt pretty enthralled… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/10/24 02:59 PM |
| 10 | do guys find girls with high sex drive unattractive?It becomes a negative if the guy is physically unable to keep up. The male body is disadvantaged when it comes to performing when one isn't quite in the mood - and sometimes a guy's body still works against him even if he's ready and willing, like with men's longer refractory periods. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/10/24 09:04 PM |
| 12 | AITA for not voluntarily closing my side of the marriage until my husband has had an equal amount of encounters?I agree. I also think it might help him save face further for OP to ask for a "don't ask, don't tell" sort of policy. Also, OP, if this is really really important to you then I could see you negotiating for a certain amount of years instead of a certain amount of partners. Though, I will say that in my experience the sooner you stop fighting someone on their ideas the sooner they realize the flaws in them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/10/24 08:57 PM |
| 3 | 15 years difference of ageThe best way to ease someone else's worries is to take them as seriously as they do. If you dive deep into analyzing your compatibility and try to vet him well, he will likely feel more at ease because now together the two of you are sharing the burden of figuring out if you can work long-term. Catholics often go through marriage prep when they're engaged that encourages discussion on a wide variety of topics. Perhaps it'd be worth picking up a Pre-Cana book even if it means ignoring non-applica… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/10/24 11:27 PM |
| 7 | Help with managing work and domestic/household tasks?OP, you are very agreeable. Your partner is very disagreeable. You are going to have issues like this forever due to this sizable difference. You are going to face issues where you are unable to negotiate for what you need and are pushed over by your disagreeable partner, then you will burn out and become resentful. This is going to be a cycle in your relationship until one of you changes. Since you're here, you're the one I will advise to change. You have to tell him that you want to please him… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/24 07:53 PM |
| 1 | whoopsie daisies with vetting & maybe being someone's reboundWhen I feel anxious, I try to take some positive action. If you're anxious about his emotional availability in the relationship or how much he likes you, maybe plan some time to see each other and talk. Sometimes just taking one step forward is enough to tell your brain to STFU. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/10/24 09:09 PM |
| 5 | How do I handle the issues in my marriage using RPW strategy?Just a quick note on the practicality of things: does he make the shopping list completely by himself? Seems like the easiest way to get a small bouquet or treat here and there would be to add it to the list. Then maybe you could ask him about it when he gets the groceries and make a big deal about him purchasing it and handing it to you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/10/24 01:57 AM |
| 2 | How do you act around your boyfriends/husbands male friends/relatives?The first thing to do is to see if he has any issues with the status quo. If not, I would say your time could likely be spent on better things. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/24 03:26 PM |
| 2 | I'm done wearing the pants, but I need some clarification on some RPW teachings...Why does it feel like I'm letting him "get off the hook" with all of the wrong he has done to me? I personally feel like the root of contempt is feeling like you need to teach your partner how to properly behave. That's a massive burden to your psyche and to your marriage. If you can let some of that go - perhaps to your religion, you would likely feel lighter and more hopeful. To be clear, you should share information - how you feel, what your stresses are - but trying to force change puts resp… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/24 02:28 AM |
| 4 | How to meet men? Is online dating advised?I tried a religious, serious dating app at 18 and it was not a positive experience. Most guys in their twenties won't take you seriously. If you want to give it a try, I don't recommend using any app known for hookups. I agree with Delia that your best chance is STEM majors and trying to hang out where they'll be and make connections. Their buildings might have event boards for advertising social events. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/10/24 02:49 PM |
| 14 | Men who compete with womenI would imagine the quickest way to get the conversation to stop is a simple "you're right". Sometimes we get frustrated when we feel like it's our responsibility to teach someone something we think is basic social etiquette. It's not your responsibility because it's not your role and it's highly unlikely they would decide to learn from you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/10/24 02:38 PM |
| 11 | What are your most attractive qualities?A - how I dress gets a fair amount of attention, nearly always positive. I also have a high pitched voice similar to Luna Lovegood, when I was in school that attracted attention. B - I think he might say my thoughtfulness. Today he opened up his shirt drawer and saw one of his favorites placed at the front. When he told me he hadn't seen it in awhile, I mentioned that I moved it after seeing it towards the back of the drawer and concluding that maybe he wasn't wearing it lately because he wasn't… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/10/24 03:21 PM |
| 2 | Too damaged to be feminineI wouldn't look for a LTR now and would recommend nun mode. Common wisdom is to wait until you're decently content with your life - this is primarily because if you're discontent you will weigh certain factors more heavily than you probably should. Imagine a woman growing up in poverty - she might overvalue provision when choosing a mate. For many years, this won't cause an issue but eventually she'll accumulate to her new lifestyle and then realize there were other qualities she'll have wished … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/10/24 03:11 PM |
| 2 | Anyone here whose husband has autism or is a wife with autism?My husband thinks he might be on the spectrum and has had people suspect he may be. I disagree. In his case, he has excellent social skills and his understanding of emotions/sub-text/body language is above average. He's pretty much just an introvert who's good at math and has some of the quirks associated with autism - his touch sensitivity, sound sensitivity, and texture sensitivity are all minor though. He does "stim" sometimes when experiencing strong emotions. When I looked into autism, I fo… | /r/RedPillWives | 01/10/24 05:05 PM |
| 48 | What does it mean when people tell me that they can't see me getting married? I rather give "how are you still single?" vibes.The vibes could be: boss bitch (lack of soft femininity) nun (lack of sex appeal) cat spinster (avoidance/fear of masculinity) If you're hearing this from long time friends and family, it could simply be that romantic relationships haven't been a part of your life for so long. I might say something similar about one of my husband's peers. In his case, he has a male-dominated career and male-dominated hobbies, he's picky when it comes to dating, and he is extremely disagreeable. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/09/24 10:48 PM |
| 1 | Followed RPW advice a lot, but no dating success :( 21FYeah fight 'em both, it'd be a 1 vs 1.5 XD My parents had one that's average in height, one a few inches below average and the other a few inches above. Unfortunately my brother drew the short straw, but his wife is in the running for best human so I guess it all works out. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/09/24 10:33 PM |
| 8 | Followed RPW advice a lot, but no dating success :( 21FYou may want to consider dropping your standard to men who are projected to earn around this amount by the time they're 30. Guys in residency or law school, white collar jobs that take a little bit of time to ramp up like actuaries or accountants, etc. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/09/24 07:24 PM |
| 2 | Followed RPW advice a lot, but no dating success :( 21FYou should come after my momma, my dad is over a foot taller than her. XD I've dated a guy who was 6'0 but prefer 5'9-5'11. Roughly half a foot height difference is the nicest for kissing in my opinion. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/09/24 07:21 PM |
| 29 | I've gotten Girl Game all wrong. (Reflecting on my Observations)When people make decisions, there is the long-term and there is the short-term. You're twenty. When college aged boys are deciding who to date, they likely are weighing the short-term much more than they are weighing the long-term. Getting the ring or getting to the altar is not the end goal. Hitting your 50 year anniversary is the end goal. You want a strategy that attracts them and keeps them happy for the long term. It sounds like you've prioritized "wife" so much that you've neglected "girlf… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/24 05:16 PM |
| 3 | Husband being inappropriate onlineI wrote a little about escape here. Perhaps he might be open to swapping this form of escape for another. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/24 04:44 PM |
| 2 | Career vs WifeI like your soapbox. :) I know I've written this before, but I learned that the components of happiness are satisfaction, enjoyment, and purpose. I think young adults tend to focus more on the first two, which can lead to an existential crisis or what's sometimes called the "quarter-life" crisis when one realizes their life lacks purpose. I think midlife crisises seem to have a lot to do with lacking enjoyment. Perhaps the young adult's focus on enjoyment is an overcorrection of this, or a resul… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/24 04:37 PM |
| 1 | Career vs WifeNo, I'd say the primary reason people have children is for purpose. Kids are a widely accessible, high quality form of purpose for humanity. People would live and die for their children, even subpar parents. Without having something you care enough about to die for, it's easy to stumble into an existential crisis in middle age. Purpose is an essential component to human happiness. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/24 01:33 PM |
| 3 | Career vs WifeIf you don't have children, you don't have children. You can't be a mother or a matriarch. It might be possible to have an equivalent if one was deeply devoted to a cause or a business. Children soak up about 50,000 hours of life, so the equivalent would need to do the same in order to have similar effects. It also needs to leave a legacy. Something like taking care of dogs or cats won't do it, we know they won't outlive us and we usually neuter them anyway. One doesn't really try to be a maiden… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/24 07:56 PM |
| 1 | Career vs WifeIf the kids are grown then you would be the matriarch. Maiden is defined as being childless and I believe also as seeking/receiving external validation for physical beauty. People usually find it a bit cringe when much older women try to cling to this phase, such as Madonna. I don't think there's much of a connection between the phases and working/homemaking. It's more pre-children, childbearing, post-children. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/24 03:22 PM |
| 2 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?Does your partner know about RPW and your participation? Yeah, I probably told him about RPW the day I got here. He helps line edit most of my posts. He is much more concise than I am. What does he think about submission? How would he define it? Is it even a word he would use referring to your relationship? I'm hesitant to put words in his mouth. He'll engage with the word if I bring it up but I wouldn't say it's part of his vernacular. He thinks I'm submissive in some aspects and not in others.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 12:26 PM |
| 2 | Book Club: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: Author’s Note and IntroductionI might give it a try at some point because I dislike LD's writing style (does anyone else not feel like she's constantly advertising her other stuff IN her books??) and honestly this author's tone is more likely to resonate with me. I prefer starting from the premise that people are deeply flawed. It sounds like extremely similar content to The Empowered Wife so it's a bit of a tomato, tomahto situation. TEW is certainly going to be the easier sell. I resent the notion that being pleasant, cook… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/24 01:36 PM |
| 27 | Thoughts on telling a man about other men approaching you?I generally tell my husband anything I think he would want to know or anything I feel guilty about. This would likely fall into both categories for me. I don't know, it works for us. There is a balance to everything, but balance is hard to achieve so sometimes I'll settle for the extreme I'm more comfortable with - in this case, extreme honesty. For others, it's worth finding more of a middle ground. To your second question, I would say men typically like it when they're right there next to you … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/24 10:26 PM |
| 2 | LDR relationshipI think you're in a tricky spot when it comes to dating. There's no guarantee you'll be able to move closer to him for residency, and there's also no guarantee you'll be able to stay where you are post med school if you choose to date local. Since you really like this guy, I personally would pursue it until there was a reason not to that's specific to him and not your situation. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/24 01:47 PM |
| 10 | My husband is brokenSecurity versus Escape strikes again. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/09/24 02:56 AM |
| 4 | In What Ways Did Your Relationship Prepare You for Motherhood?I don't let people walk all over me anymore I do this literally way more now with the small people running around. But yes, marriage and kids have made my time much more precious. I'm warier making commitments and don't feel as bad saying no. Being with something more disagreeable is great for that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/09/24 02:13 AM |
| 2 | In What Ways Did Your Relationship Prepare You for Motherhood?Absolutely! Planning ahead saves the day. There are so many things I don't worry about at all now that I've been married. I used to fret about body hair when I was single. Living with a man? I've never really thought about it since. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/09/24 02:10 AM |
| 4 | In What Ways Did Your Relationship Prepare You for Motherhood?Motherhood has definitely changed me in some ways as well! My bar for disgust is much, much lower now. Ultimately I think the knowledge that we gain compounds. I wouldn't have been as good of a mother if I wasn't a wife first. I don't think I'd be as good of a wife now if I wasn't a mother. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/09/24 02:09 AM |
| 3 | In What Ways Did Your Relationship Prepare You for Motherhood?It has taught me you must learn to deal with all aspects of your partners personality in a positive manner. If you don't with him, you will be tested later with your kids. Very much so! I'll go one step further and say this holds true for ourselves as well. And not just for personality but mental and physical attributes as well. It's so nice to know that the knowledge you gain from combatting your flaws can save your kids so much trouble. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/09/24 02:06 AM |
| 0 | You only go after younger women because you can't handle older womenFrom where I'm sitting, it seems to be the case that men with a lot of options choose to go younger, and that men with few options end up having to go younger. It's a dumb thing to say to someone though. | /r/TheRedPill | 07/09/24 04:23 PM |
| 13 | What to do when you fuck up?I often find it helpful to state how I'm feeling. Just say "I'm feeling defensive." Try to consider how you would want to be treated if the situation was reversed. What makes you feel better when your partner has made a mistake? | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/24 11:44 PM |
| 2 | Need advice how to gently communicate to my boyfriend about him forgetting thingsAre you bribing children to eat their dinner when you learn how to cook better tasting food? Bribery is you want A, I want B. I will give you A if you give me B. What I'm suggesting to OP is to make B more attractive so that he also wants to do B to the same degree that she does. There is no A. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/09/24 04:17 AM |
| 1 | how to help my bf quit smoking without nagging him ?People with addictions never quit. You can only replace. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/08/24 05:16 PM |
| 6 | Need advice how to gently communicate to my boyfriend about him forgetting thingsIt's hard being the person left behind, I get that. I also remember how easy it is to get distracted when you're the one going somewhere and being with people. Time is moving at different speeds for you two. Rather than admonishing him, I would put your effort into crafting more attractive invitations to call you. Tell him there's something you're excited to do together or talk about. Find a new video on YouTube to watch at the same time, find a co-op video game to play, find quizzes or personal… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/08/24 05:14 PM |
| 0 | Fiancé made me quit my favourite hobby and resentment is buildingIt's very, very hard to give up something. It's much easier to replace. What is something you'd like to do more that you haven't had time for? Anything you've always wanted to try? Something you were into when you were younger than you've put aside as you've gotten older? I wrote this post awhile back on different needs we have: security, status, and escape. This post reads like he was lacking in Security and you gave up your Escape to help. Now, you're lacking in Escape. Your best choices are e… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/08/24 04:58 PM |
| 2 | I like a guy but I don't need/want a relationship?Where do you see yourself in five years? | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/08/24 03:14 PM |
| 15 | Unhealthy habitsOne of the most effective way is to ask him to drive you to the gym. For most of us, the issue is deciding to do it and getting started. If you get him to the gym, the rest should follow. Invite him to go to bed with you when you want to. Make plans for Friday nights that he'd want to do. I highly recommend the book "Atomic Habits". It really breaks down how to kick bad habits and start new ones while still being interesting and engaging. To be clear, I also don't think this is something that's … | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/08/24 07:02 PM |
| 6 | Struggling To Move On After Bad Breakup - Spiritual/Emotional Manipulation (?)People are quick to realize when something feels wrong. They are bad at accurately diagnosing what it is and often lack the discipline to do anything about it even if they do have enough insight to figure it out. To me, what happened to you isn't the result of malice. We often think of manipulative people as having so much social game that they can now use their skills to take advantage of others for self-interest. In reality, a lot of these people are just so grossly incompetent that others get… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/08/24 04:26 AM |
| 4 | Tigre's Nun Mode Part 4I would stop worrying about your shoulders if you can. I remember your pictures, you have a perfectly nice figure. I was similarly disparaging about myself at your age and it wasn't until I was in LTRs and became more familiar with the male gaze that I realized my concerns were the furthest thing from my partners' minds. Regarding the wife material stuff - a lot of the traditional RMV things we think of are centered around delayed gratification. Even future-minded twenty year olds want to have f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/08/24 06:31 PM |
| 3 | Spoiled life over 40 in bad circumstances: what would an RPW do?I think when people become very unhappy, we tend to overcorrect. I also think we tend to undervalue the positives of our situation and the negatives of the alternative. Perhaps you might find inspiration reading stories from women who are the breadwinner - though it's not traditional, I don't think it dooms you to never feeling like a woman again. You mention that he doesn't want to follow you and that seems to be a decent enough sign. Are you willing to follow him outside of work hours? Start d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/08/24 01:49 PM |
| 3 | Whenever I say I like something….Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I hope her last moments were peaceful. It sounds exhausting. It's a lot of effort for not a great result and it's understandable if you don't prioritize putting in the effort right now. You and the proceedings for your mom will come first. Maybe if you're up for it, repeating that you like his arm around you at night or something similar might be just small enough of a support that he doesn't resent you and you're okay when it stops. Otherwise, I fear thi… | /r/RedPillWives | 27/08/24 02:44 PM |
| 3 | Whenever I say I like something….It sounds like acknowledging what he does makes him feel obligated to continue, and with how overwhelmed he already feels with life he resents the additional ask. Maybe something like "we could never go to breakfast again and I'll treasure the moments we shared together forever" - anything that suggests it's okay if the behavior doesn't continue. He won't say anything but later on it'll be like, "see I handled all this you even said I did". Or"I had to make dinner this many times". And he'll be … | /r/RedPillWives | 27/08/24 01:55 PM |
| 1 | HelpStop phrasing it as putting God before him. Phrase it as putting the future of your relationship ahead of your present. I honestly think it's natural to be upset if your partner has you lower on the priority list than you do them - even if it's for God. That's a tough pill to swallow and I just think there's less hurtful ways to phrase it that are still truthful. Put yourself in his shoes and think about how you would feel. Imagine he's in control of the finances and promised you a dream vacatio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/08/24 04:47 PM |
| 2 | field report: the way to a man’s heart is his stomachNot OP, I quite like the weekly bento series from Imamu on YouTube! Milk Street Tuesday Nights is my best cookbook. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/08/24 07:45 PM |
| 5 | I feel like my boyfriend isn't gentil enough, is it me sabotaging a good relationship or is it valid?How does he feel about his own hobbies? Does he ever catch himself for talking about them too long, or not share much, or not want you to talk about them around other people - anything like that? My experience is that if you want the gentle response it helps to give a childlike reaction. I know that a sad face and a "that hurt my fee-fees" will get me the apology and the cuddles faster than anything else. LD recommends "ouch!" | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/08/24 02:29 PM |
| 3 | [Discussion] RPW: a balance between traditional and modernityOh yes, I'm suggesting something a bit different. There tends to be a big variation in what people believe should or will happen after marriage. Should sex be frequent? What happens if you like something I don't, or vice versa? Is sex being withheld because of its beauty and power, or because it's framed as being dirty or wrong? Is it an obligation or a gift? What do you do if you don't enjoy it? What is its purpose? Studies seem to suggest that while the majority who wait don't regret that choi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/24 01:14 PM |
| 7 | [Discussion] RPW: a balance between traditional and modernityTradcons would likely be miffed by my husband's liberalness. I do a lot of handiwork around the house and some of my favorite hobbies are D&D and video games. My husband doesn't want more kids. I am very slowly building a little business. The big thing with feminists would be that I'm an EC here! I guess the SAHM thing. My husband and I discuss every purchase, apart from the money he gives me for my discretionary spending. I have never lived on my own. It's a hard question for me cause my brain … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/24 01:06 PM |
| 5 | [Discussion] RPW: a balance between traditional and modernityI don't think it's a bad idea in most cases unless the couple's beliefs surrounding sex are detrimental in some way beyond wanting to wait. Catholics tend to be very pro-sex within marriage and anti without. The central beliefs around having marital sex tend to be positive: our bodies are beautiful, sex takes time and communication, both partners should orgasm, etc. Probably not a good sign if either party finds it easy to wait though. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/24 12:50 PM |
| 3 | Is SMV real?In short... Does SMV actually add up to something real, something you can take to the bank? Sure. My SMV was required to bag my husband similarly to how my intellect, education, values, and personality was. If he was not attracted to me, we would not have gotten together. If I was not attracted to him, we would not have gotten together. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/24 06:23 PM |
| 4 | Modern College-Aged Field Report and ObservationsI have yet to hear someone in their mid-to-late twenties say it's easier to meet someone of the opposite sex after graduating college. I have heard a lot of them say it's so much harder and they wish they put more effort into networking before they left. You don't have to date anyone, but displaying high RMV and being friendly will likely have guys looking you up after graduation. I was labeled "the kind of girl you married" in high school and the early college and it paid off once I was 20. Guy… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/08/24 09:06 PM |
| 3 | Modern College-Aged Field Report and ObservationsYou definitely have to seek out male-dominated hobbies/colleges/majors/careers to have the upper hand. This goes for guys too - I used to know some decent guys back in the college years and the ones with male-dominated career paths and hobbies similarly struggled to find women for LTRs. They needed to go where the women were. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/08/24 02:46 AM |
| 10 | Modern College-Aged Field Report and ObservationsWhat is the male-to-female ratio at your college? That tends to have a huge impact on hookup/LTR culture. The higher the proportion of women, the more prevalent the hookups. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/08/24 07:25 PM |
| 2 | Finances with a babyI have read through her other comments and would not consider that an accurate recount of what was said. A marriage cannot work without trust, and taking on more responsibility is exactly how people mature. I would be interested in hearing you give actionable advice to OP to repair or strengthen the trust in her marriage. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/24 04:11 AM |
| 1 | Finances with a babyOkay, leaving your IRA and 401K untouched, what do you think would happen if you said something along the lines of: "Honey, having my own account and savings without income is causing me a lot of stress. What if I added my money into your account and we made it a joint account and added me as an authorized user on your card? I would be happy to track all our expenses and show it to you each month/quarter." I don't know how others' marriages work, my conversations tend to go best if I either talk… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/08/24 02:27 PM |
| 11 | Finances with a babyDoes he contribute to your Roth IRA? I know this might be controversial, but I might consider what's essentially malicious compliance. Penny pinch the shit out of your share. Openly share whenever you're feeling stressed and worried. Refuse trips and food out because you no longer can afford it. You have no income. We often encourage vulnerability over aggression. If he's scared of being taken advantage of, you show that you're not a threat and let him chill the eff out. If this attitude is very… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/08/24 04:16 AM |
| 1 | What does your husband do for work?Mine is in a STEM field, it doesn't sound like it would be a good match for your husband. I would consider applying to some adjunct professor positions at community college. It's not much money but it's not much hours. Easy to tack onto another job, qualifications are usually just a bachelor's degree in a relevant field to the class you want to teach. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/24 08:25 PM |
| 4 | Boyfriend wishes I was more girly and funDid you know that the human brain regularly mistakes thirst cues for hunger cues? Often, we are adept at figuring out when something is wrong. We are not so adept are diagnosing what exactly that is. What you are describing suggests a dissatisfaction with you or with his own life that he is projecting onto you. If the former (and you want to improve the relationship), I wouldn't necessarily focus on what he's told you. Focus on doing some things that you know make him happy and are relatively ea… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/24 08:14 PM |
| 4 | Overwhelmed by entering Nun ModeRead 'Atomic Habits' - that will teach you how to create change in sustainable, lasting ways. You want little adjustments to your life that add up over time. Redefine your goals using the SMART goal method. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/08/24 05:35 PM |
| 1 | Finding the line between serving and motheringLet me break this down for a second. There are: Healthy meals we like Unhealthy meals we like Healthy meals we don't like Unhealthy meals we don't like When not dieting, this is our typical priority list. When dieting, you're switching around 2 and 3. The name of the game is having as many #1s as possible. If you have too little healthy meals you like, then it's time for more research and experimentation. Maybe send him some "30 healthy meals with protein" type lists and let him pick stuff out. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/08/24 05:15 PM |
| 8 | Finding the line between serving and motheringAre there healthy meals he truly and genuinely loves? My husband doesn't love when I make Asian lettuce wraps, for example, but when I make chicken tomatillo bowls he's so excited. One day I served a Chipotle inspired meal with everything family style (grilled chicken, black beans, shredded cheese, salsa, mashed avocado, etc) and we thought it almost seemed decadent. Poke bowls with with broiled salmon, vegetables, soft boiled eggs, and a soy sauce Sriracha mayo sauce also feels luxurious. I thi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/08/24 02:46 PM |
| 8 | I met a guy randomly and now I can't stop thinking about him, but I have a boyfriend , how should I act?Once upon a time I was in a somewhat similar situation. I think the best advice that I could give is to leave your boyfriend only if you wouldn't regret leaving him if the other guy didn't work out. In my case, my affection for my boyfriend was causing me to overlook major incompatibilities in our respective marriage and kids timeline. I also knew the man I was leaving him for so the monkey branching was more of a sure thing. Otherwise, this is a typical bump in the road for couples. Sometimes o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/08/24 02:31 PM |
| 1 | Wanting to be married and a SAHM but not yet and don’t know what to do?It's a huge plus in life to be on the same page financially. I would see where you can help him meet his goals. Whether or not you can afford a lifestyle doesn't depend on income alone - it's income versus expenses. My husband and I agreed on SAHM and we also agreed that the breadwinner's role is to increase income while the homemaker's role is to minimize expenses. Right now we spend about 55% of what he makes and save the rest - it was around 80% when we first started out. SAHM can definitely … | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/08/24 05:00 PM |
| 1 | Why do you do everything on your own?For my husband and I personally, we decided our main priorities were having kids young and him retiring by 50. This means keeping costs low in the early years is especially vital, as we'll need a few million dollars in assets to retire comfortably so early. It's my role and I'm proud of it, plus, if I'm being honest, he works harder than me. Because we saved and worked hard, he's now willing to hire regular childcare help and will work less starting next year. My mom was a SAHM and did everythin… | /r/RedPillWives | 03/08/24 01:56 PM |
| 1 | I’m overwhelmed by the change of becoming a SAHMOne small top that helped me was making different boxes of toys that are opened on different days. Opening the new box commands a lot of attention. I sometimes also put the kids at the kitchen table with an activity and a snack while I cook. We settle a little more on the cleanliness. Something has to give. | /r/RedPillWives | 02/08/24 09:10 PM |
| 1 | How to be the “goddess of fun and light” when it’s not your personality?What are your husband's hobbies? How old are the kids? | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/24 04:43 PM |
| 3 | Did you use ovulation trackers when trying to get pregnant?The primary way to get around data inaccuracies is to measure right when you wake up - to try to get the circumstances and the time as consistent as possible. The ovulation temp spike tends to be large enough to notice so long as you've been tracking. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK564316/#:~:text=Symptothermal%20contraception%20or%20fertility%20awareness,ovulation%20is%20likely%20to%20occur. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/24 03:54 PM |
| 2 | Gifting for spouse then sellingIf it were me, I would express regret that I missed the mark and offer to sell it for him then give him the proceeds to spend on whatever he chooses. But I know my husband - he doesn't like gifts and I don't buy anything for him without his permission. He would likely appreciate me returning something he wasn't going to use. What you do think your husband would most appreciate? | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/24 03:49 PM |
| 4 | Did you use ovulation trackers when trying to get pregnant?You should be able to go by body temperature and cervical discharge. You just stick a thermometer down there when you wake up each morning - you're ovulating on the day your temp goes up by about a degree. It's Natural Family Planning's symptothermal method | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/24 03:45 PM |
| 1 | Nun mode success stories?Here you are! | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/24 03:34 PM |
| 1 | Thoughts on 'Be the Prize'?For those who did the pursuing: If you've been the one to primarily pursue a partner, what motivated you? How did your partner respond, and what did it mean for your relationship’s development? I fell in love. I cared deeply about him and just wanted to be in his life. I went all out in my attempts to display high RMV, but not a high SMV. He didn't want to pursue a relationship with me when we were in high school but did in college when he started to want someone who was more wife material. He t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/24 10:05 PM |
| 2 | The burden of striving for perfection and meeting beauty standards has been really cripplingThat's a popular misconception about negging - that it's something mean with the intent to tear down a woman's self-esteem. Negging is a form of playful teasing - when done correctly, it's fun for both parties. The intent is to get a woman to qualify herself but not to feel bad about herself. Imagine a man telling a flight attendant that he could never go out with a woman who always had her head in the clouds, that he thinks he should be with a woman more down to earth. Or suggesting to a waitre… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/24 09:58 PM |
| 4 | RPW vs. Pink Pill: Misconceptions and Understanding the DifferencesI'm not OP, but there are two main interpretations of AMALT/AWALT. The first is more strict - all men/women have done something bad or will do something bad when given the opportunity if they haven't already, ie, 100% of men will cheat if an attractive woman throws herself at him or 100% of women will monkey branch if a better man comes her way. The second is what I mentioned - all men/women have the capacity for good as well as bad, which is influenced heavily by environment as well as their ow… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/24 03:23 PM |
| 2 | What do you think is a good age to have kids?Babies are considered full term at 37 weeks right now and the medical practice in my area is to not let women go more than a few days past 40 weeks. Induction is very common. These make c-sections less likely. I'm 5'4 105 pounds and had my babies no problem. My mom had C-sections but it was due to a narrow pelvis. Pregnancy and childbirth are super anxiety-provoking, I was worried before I had my first as well. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/24 03:11 PM |
| 5 | RPW vs. Pink Pill: Misconceptions and Understanding the DifferencesAll women have the capacity to exemplify the worst sides of female/human nature. By the same coin, we all have the capacity to exemplify the best. It's up to the individual woman to choose her environment and her performance in that environment. Basically, I believe if I stopped putting effort into my marriage and started looking for validation from other men who made more money or whatever, I would be far more likely to act on hypergamy to the detriment of my marriage. We are what we eat. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/24 03:05 PM |
| 22 | Thoughts on wanting to be taken care of by a man?There's a personality model called the Big 5. The biggest differences between men and women were regarding the traits agreeableness and neuroticism. I happen to believe that more disagreeable, less neurotic people have an advantage in leadership potential and both of those qualities are more associated with the average man. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/24 04:17 PM |
| 6 | The Temperament of You & Your Husband - It MattersTo translate this into the Big 5 personality model: Choleric = Disagreeableness Phlegmatic = Agreeableness Sanguine = Extroversion Melancholic = Conscientiousness | /r/RedPillWives | 13/07/24 03:24 AM |
| 6 | Should I continue to wait for marriage?What about their reactions is making you question your beliefs? It sounds like you're incompatible. It would be wise to make major life decisions based off a stranger's opinion - especially one you don't admire. JP II's 'Theology of the Body' is a good read. You might consider going out with guys from your church or transferring to a more religious private university. I know there's a bunch of Catholic ones out there that are highly praised. Redpill theory time: Women want one man who's the whol… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/24 03:12 AM |
| 2 | I don’t want my future husband in the room when I give birthHey, you're giving birth. You do you. I had an epidural, no pain whatsoever. Covid kids so only one person allowed in the room and I wanted that to be my husband. It was serene, peaceful. One of the nurses even teared up watching us together. I like to know a man isn't squeamish. There are so many things that are gross about being a woman and having young children. Knowing it won't change how he sees me means a lot. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/07/24 03:38 AM |
| 9 | BF (26M) that I (26F) have been dating for 7 years says he should have more say in the relationship than I do. How would you react?It can be helpful to think of male-led relationships like this: It's not that you get less say, it's that if the two of you can't come to an agreement, you agree to try his way first (and to support his way, not sabotage it). If his way doesn't work then explain that you gave it your best shot but you're unhappy and can you please try it your way and if that doesn't work you can change things again. It'd be best to have a conversation again when you're both sober and really, really try to figure… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/07/24 12:48 PM |
| 2 | I think that we need to define what a high value man is.I don't think someone necessarily needs to understand the perspective and values of other types of people to give good advice. I think you do need to understand yourself. "If you're like me, then..." That way, the people who have decided different main focuses for their life can opt out of what you're saying from the get-go. You're not going to convince, say, the country of Italy to make its culture more like South Korea. But you can likely help women with similar goals and mindsets to yours. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/07/24 12:51 PM |
| 3 | I think that we need to define what a high value man is.Having low conscientiousness means you're more likely to be content. You're more likely to enjoy the days you take off. You're not prone to feeling bad just because you weren't productive. You're less likely to overburden, overwork, and overstress yourself. Along the same tune, you're less critical of your partner's productivity. High conscientiousness has been linked to guilt in some studies (controlling for neuroticism). People with low conscientiousness + high IQ tend to thrive in chaotic env… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/07/24 04:39 PM |
| 2 | I think that we need to define what a high value man is.I want to hear a logical argument. People match best with people with similar IQ. There's no debate to had. You can praise work ethic all you want, but a high work ethic has real downsides and would grate on a woman with low Conscientiousness. There's nothing wrong or inferior about having low Conscientiousness - and I say this as someone high in the trait who matched with someone high. It's clear to me to see how people lower in the trait could find happiness and love and that there are advanta… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/07/24 03:22 PM |
| 5 | I think that we need to define what a high value man is.To translate this into the big 5 model, you think HV is: High on Conscientious Not high on Agreeableness Low Neuroticism Now, a lot of the reason you find Conscientious attractive is likely to be because you are high in Conscientiousness yourself. This is a trait that's good to match your partner on. You also appear to be, at the very least, not low in Neuroticism and it also makes sense why you would value a partner who isn't like you on this. Keep in mind that not every woman is high in Consci… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/07/24 02:04 PM |
| 3 | my boyfriend read my personal journal I vent in and I'm afraid my relationship is ruined for good because I said some bad things about him.Oof, that sounds rough for the both of you. An apology is a good place to start. I think you could explain that you write down your angry thoughts so you can decompress without hurting your relationship. Then you can apologize for allowing the relationship to be hurt by not securing the journal. Then you express empathy. You can talk about how you likely would also feel hurt if you found similar things he had said about you. If he's in a better place at this point, you can ask to brainstorm solu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/07/24 03:28 AM |
| 4 | "How to Keep a Disagreement from Becoming an Argument"Every time I pursue being right over being happy it bites me in the butt. Funnily enough, people seem to think I'm the wisest/smartest when I'm being conciliatory over adversarial anyway. The most critical point in the article for me is the bit about apologizing. Every time my husband takes responsibility for his share of wrongdoing in an argument it completely disarms me. I can feel the anger leave my body. Those moments are the turning point. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/24 10:03 PM |
| 3 | Partner doesn’t compliment my appearance?Yeah, I suppose even if one could lie/engineer a situation with no dread element, you still have to live with the fact that you lied to your partner in an attempt to get them to compliment you. That's a brutal blow to one's ego that is sure to do more harm than good when one is already insecure. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/24 09:58 PM |
| 2 | Partner doesn’t compliment my appearance?Can I pick your brain for a second? The majority of the time a stranger has told me I'm pretty, it has been in person from a woman or a child. I treasure these and I've shared every one of these interactions with my husband and it's been positive. Could utilizing social proof avoid being deconstructive provided that other men aren't involved? | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/24 08:32 PM |
| 15 | Moving in together before proposal?People are self-interested. Rarely do people make major life decisions that don't benefit them. The question becomes: why would marriage benefit him? If moving in together accomplishes most or all of those benefits, then you're shooting yourself in the foot. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/24 01:18 PM |
| 3 | DO woman SECRETELY agree with with red pill?I saw a Tinder ad the other day that had one woman whispering to another "let's ego test him". But no no, shit tests aren't real. Women would never do that, men would never tolerate it. | /r/TheRedPill | 25/06/24 06:38 PM |
| 7 | Could women unconsciously sabotage other women's relationships as a form of mate competition?Let's also throw in Hanlon's Razor: never attribute to malice what could be adequately explained by ignorance. People could genuinely believe something better is always out there and that it's not that hard to find. They may also believe the best way to get something is to demand it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/06/24 06:33 PM |
| 1 | Was I wrong? Husband had 1 hour sports massage (I bought him for Father’s Day); I got nails done. Both had 1 hour free time, rest spent with our child together. He wanted an extra hour for playing a game on his phone and said the massage didn’t count as free time because it was a gift.Toddler years are tough. I wrote this post awhile back with some general advice. If you want a gift for Mother's Day and it's causing you resentment, say that to him. You can also go and pick something out and ask for him to buy it for you. I find this sort of arrangement to be a pragmatic compromise. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/06/24 07:43 PM |
| 3 | Budgeting 101: How To Live Simply As A Domestic, Traditional WomanNice! My family is in the US and we've been trying to live simply and fight lifestyle inflation. Our annual spend has remained around 50k per year as our family has grown to 4 while my husband's salary has gone from 65k to over 100k. I often wait a few weeks before purchasing something for the household to see if we really do want it. I make lists of things I want for myself and then share when friends and family ask if there's something I want for a gift. We are trying to never purchase drinks … | /r/RedPillWives | 24/06/24 12:42 PM |
| 5 | I don’t want to be fat anymore.Some things in life are referred to as "lagging indicators" meaning it can take years to see the results. For example, wealth is usually a lagging indicator of years of good financial decisions. In your case, your weight is a lagging indicator of your diet and exercise choices. Health is another. While you may be able to fit the weight with some surgeries, you will not be able to do the same for health. Not just long-term health, but also your daily energy levels and mood. Regardless of whether … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/06/24 10:59 PM |
| 5 | Postpartum woesNewborns are very much a throwing-the-frog-into-boiling-water thing. For most of us it'll be the most significant shift we will make in life, and it's incredibly physical demanding when we're at our most vulnerable due to all the hormones. It's rough, and it improves steadily but slowly. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/24 02:06 PM |
| 3 | Postpartum woesI broke and did co-sleeping almost right away. The week before I made the switch was one of the worst of my life | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/24 02:21 PM |
| 6 | Postpartum woesI remember never wanting to put the baby down, and never wanting to pick the baby back up. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/06/24 10:13 PM |
| 3 | What Working with Executive Men Has Taught Me About Submissiveness as a StrategyIt's a great post, Jenn. You've outdone yourself. Thanks for sharing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/24 02:28 AM |
| 1 | Was this cheating?I wouldn't define that as cheating personally. You mention Catholicism - a big tenet of the faith is that intent is a critical component of sin. If the two of you did not have an agreement to not make a public comment on a public post if the poster is the opposite sex, or if you did not have an agreement to not greet people of the opposite sex in public, then I don't see what he did as wrong. Now, I don't think it's wrong of you to feel upset. I think it's fair for you to say "hey, I hadn't thou… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/24 01:57 AM |
| 5 | What Working with Executive Men Has Taught Me About Submissiveness as a StrategyThere's probably a cultural element at play. I know that the Japanese, for example, say things along the lines of "we'll see" in place of "no" and everyone is on the same page. I am in a culture where "we'll see" is a soft no and saying no's softly is appreciated. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/24 01:33 AM |
| 1 | How to be patient & wait for a proposal?You and James Sexton should get a drink. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/06/24 12:14 PM |
| 5 | Agreeable Women, What Tactics Have Worked for You in Dating/Marriage?I personally like the definition from JBP's test, which splits Agreeableness into two traits: politeness and empathy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/06/24 12:37 PM |
| 3 | Boyfriend hesitant to propose due to his past - how to navigate next steps?To answer your question on how to approach, it seems like something like a neutral approach like "it seems like things are moving forward with us potentially buying a home together and I wanted to sit down and talk about what your timeline looks like for marriage and kids" could work well. You could tell yourself that your role is just to listen and hear what he says. If he doesn't have much to say, maybe propose revisiting the conversation at a specific day/time the following week? | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/06/24 11:25 PM |
| 5 | I ‘40F’ think I have chosen money over dignity after 24 years of verbal disrespect.After reading some of your other comments, I think the most helpful thing you could do is assertive training. I think a lot of your problems are stemming from the fact that there is a large disparity between how agreeable the two of you are and this has been avoided rather than worked through for many years. Now, it will be that much more of a mountain to overcome. MRP will often recommend the book "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty." Laura Doyle's books touch on assertiveness a bit as well. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/06/24 10:27 PM |
| 17 | I just want to be a good wife but don’t know howHow involved are you with the finances? | /r/RedPillWives | 11/06/24 06:34 PM |
| 11 | I ‘40F’ think I have chosen money over dignity after 24 years of verbal disrespect.There's another book that might be helpful: 'How to Stay in Love' by James Sexton. I haven't read the book but I regularly watch him as a guest star on podcasts and he has helpful things to say on what he calls "preventive maintenance" in a marriage. Sexton is a high-profile divorce lawyer. I've read John Gottman's "A Man's Guide to Women" and it had many helpful principles. He has another called something along the lines of "The Seven Principles of Marriage" which I'm going to read next. Gottma… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/06/24 03:32 PM |
| 8 | Boyfriend hesitant to propose due to his past - how to navigate next steps?He told me that the reason why he hasn’t proposed yet is because of his past, not anything to do with me, and that he's working on it. What has/is he doing? If you had to choose between being unmarried and having no kids/kids out of wedlock, and losing him, what would be your answer? | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/06/24 02:53 PM |
| 21 | I ‘40F’ think I have chosen money over dignity after 24 years of verbal disrespect.Do the two of you have enough saved to where you'd be able to retire if you divorced? If not, I don't see how it would be responsible to recommend aggravating your relationship further. I recommend reading Laura Doyle's "The Empowered Wife" and withdrawing your attention. Direct your free time towards improving your skills and doing things that bring you happiness/joy. To some extent, if you're happier and healthier, so will be your marriage. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/06/24 02:39 PM |
| 2 | That StepfordGal: To Become Wife And MotherI wish you a safe and timely delivery! I didn't realize Gottman had more books! My husband and I read "A Man's Guide to Women" that he wrote together with his wife and we both enjoyed it | /r/RedPillWives | 08/06/24 10:27 PM |
| 2 | Is my boyfriend subtly trying to get rid of me?!Eh, I was also LD with my husband at first and sometimes you just don't want to be tied to your phone. Other times you do. I don't think he's trying to get rid of you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/24 07:20 PM |
| 6 | Are you honest about dating other men?These rules absolutely would've weeded out the man I was supposed to marry. They would've cost me an exceptional husband of nearly five years and the father of my children. A man who, in one example of many, handled absolutely everything from finances to my social needs while I was on bedrest for months with pregnancy. It would be helpful to look at your advice and determine why it works for you. For example, reading your list sounds like you may: highly value the Big 5 trait "conscientiousness"… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/06/24 08:05 PM |
| 6 | Are you honest about dating other men?I think you may have misread BnBthings' comments. This is my read on what they say, they can correct me if I get it wrong. 1-3 dates w/ Man A: Tell him you can't make it, no further details. 3+ dates w/ Man A: Tell him you're going on a date with another man, be prepared that he may be upset. I don't believe lying was ever advised. They didn't advise on what to say if Man A asked for what OP was busy with in the 1-3 date scenario. Maybe you've read into that they would advise lying, and this is … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/06/24 04:50 AM |
| 2 | Anyone else petrified of losing their looks?I don't have this particular fear to this extent, I am mildly distressed by my signs of aging though. I'm not in your age range and my baseline is significantly above what my husband can maintain attraction to - I could fall pretty far, in other words. I can be neurotic to the point that it affects my day and my mood. I find the only thing that helps is taking action. In your case, that might be exercise, diet, beauty routine, initiating sex, etc. A quote from the movie About Time: "Worrying abo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/24 04:28 PM |
| 3 | Is your man your biggest emotional support?How does it work in your relationship? Do you regulate your emotions yourself, independently, or does your man lead you through it? Some combination of these. I think I do a lot to help myself but I also believe my husband does a lot to help me. The more he sees me help myself, the more eager he is to help as well. Oftentimes if I want his help, I will think about how to frame my problem in a way that makes the other person happy to help solve it. For example, if I'm feeling unattractive, my ins… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/24 04:17 PM |
| 1 | Meeting my man’s sexual needs and my own emotional needsYou're wrong. I'm not recommending having sex with a different person nor do I think roleplay transforms someone into a different person nor do I think it necessarily means one wants to have sex with a different person. People have multiple faces. You as an employee are different from you by yourself is different from you doing a hobby or as a spouse, a parent, a child, a sibling, a friend. Those are all different yous wrapped up in the same package. I love different versions of my husband. I lo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/24 11:24 PM |
| 3 | Does real love exist?I believe that soul mates are forged and not found. I have mine. I believe every relationship is "bad" a certain percentage of the time. It's all about finding a frequency and severity of "bad" that you can tolerate for the rest of your life, and then putting in the work to slowly improve from that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/24 07:00 PM |
| 3 | Is feminine and masculine energy toxic.I have ”dark humour” but a feminine woman would be compassionate and cry seeing something sad These are not mutually exclusive. It feels almost like you have to change your personality in order to be consider a feminine woman If you want to change your self-identity or to alter people's perception of you in a very specific way, that often requires adopting new behaviors. The internet is going to have conflicting advice on what femininity is, so it's best to stick with how you and the people you … | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/24 02:39 PM |
| 2 | I’m not sure if I’m being overly controlling around my husband’s bad moods or if there’s a problem.Interruptions get more frequent in argument partly due to the increased negative emotion and partly because of the argument atmosphere. People talk faster, they talk louder, their tone is more passionate. Combatting these factors by keeping your speech quiet, slow, and less emotional will rub off and make interruptions less frequent. I find that taking turns summarizing the other person's argument is a great way to slow down an argument and help each other feel understood. I feel I'm much less u… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/24 02:29 PM |
| 5 | are my standards hurting my options?Yeah, I think you're better off saying you're interested in travel and work-life balance. That gives you more options. There are entry level 9-5s out there that are WFH and/or have 3+ weeks vacation. You may have seen the "give him your problem, not your solution" advice around here - I think this may be one such case. When women are entrepreneurs, they tend to prioritize the flexible schedule. It's one of the biggest reasons women go in that career direction, and one of the biggest reasons fema… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/06/24 09:47 PM |
| -3 | are my standards hurting my options?Derogatory absolute statements will often lead to someone taking it personally. It's great that you're acknowledging here that there are plenty of exceptions through various major responsibilities, such as financial independence. I commend you for modifying your previous point. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/06/24 05:15 PM |
| -1 | are my standards hurting my options?You stated that you would argue 22 is practically a child. I assume that if you would argue something, it's because you partially agree with it. I'm 25. I'm sure it varies by social circle and area of the country but most people in my life cross-generationally are married in their early to mid twenties, homes and kids aren't uncommon. I'm 100% sure my life colors my judgment and my opinions, it sounds like yours do as well. Everyone's does. I simply pointed out a small error in your initial post… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/06/24 02:28 PM |
| -3 | are my standards hurting my options?Depends on the life. I was a married homeowner with a child at 22 and I find the childlike insinuation demeaning. In OP's case, it sounds like living alone and finishing a degree (I'm assuming) while having relationship experience, which sounds like a fairly impactful two years. I don't think it means your advice is invalid by any means, but I'm sure there's been a noticeable improvement in those two years and I don't see any reason to liken her to a child. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/06/24 01:54 PM |
| 31 | are my standards hurting my options?my preference stems from my father who i admire and respect a lot. he’s quite similar to what i have described too. Go find pictures of your dad at 25. Ask your parents what he was like at the time. Make sure your standards are your dad at 25 and not your dad at 50, those are very different men. Also, don't discount your mother's influence - is she the reason he got into style? If so, that might be something to expect you'll have to bring to the table. i wonder if i should consider enhancements?… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/06/24 01:41 PM |
| -2 | are my standards hurting my options?I agree with a fair bit of your comment, but think it's worth pointing out that OP is 22 and stated she dedicated the past two years to self-improvement. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/06/24 01:22 PM |
| 13 | I’m not sure if I’m being overly controlling around my husband’s bad moods or if there’s a problem.I don't know exactly how these conversations are going where you are explaining your behavior, so forgive my assumptions. I think offering explanations unprompted to an aggravated party is a dangerous game. sometimes I try to fix the situation and explain my side and why what he did hurt me, but that angers him even more. TRP has a term called DEER - defend, explain, excuse, rationalize - a list of behaviors to avoid. Explain is the most controversial, but TRP will stand by that it's better to r… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/06/24 01:00 PM |
| 5 | How Do You Know if You Have Found a Man with "Matching Luggage?"Why do you want to get married? What's the benefit? I've heard that spousal income can be taken into consideration for child support in some circumstances. Not being employed is one of them. It'd likely be better for you to keep your finances completely separate. Don't move in together. If it makes you happy to spend time together, then you do you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/05/24 07:28 PM |
| – | It's not that men want submissive women, we just want agreeable women.Agreeable people match well with disagreeable people, actually. That's typically complementary. Orderliness is a product of the "conscientious" trait from the Big 5 model, and not the "agreeableness" trait. One can be conscientious and disagreeable. I would agree with you more if you proposed that an agreeable, conscientious person is a bad match for someone who is disagreeable and low in conscientiousness. Generally speaking, women do score higher in agreeableness and in the orderliness aspect … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/24 06:49 PM |
| 1 | Meeting my man’s sexual needs and my own emotional needsI stand by roleplay because it can be a way to get emotional intimacy right before sex, with the promise that the sex will occur. It's a direct connection your husband can make between meeting emotional needs leading to sex. But, you could also implement emotional intimacy immediately after sex and try to get your brain to form the connection that sex leads to emotional needs being met. Ask to be held after sex, ask him to say that you're beautiful or to say something he likes about you. Tell hi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/24 03:48 PM |
| 1 | Well.. this is easier said than done! Whew.'Atomic Habits' is the book for habit building and could help here. One suggestion in the book is to tack new habits onto established routines. So, for example, ask your boyfriend to pick up with you for ten minutes after you guys finish dinner. Stacking behaviors makes it much more likely the new habit will stick. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/24 03:36 PM |
| 9 | Stepping ain’t easy & I think my only choice is to resignI have no experience with step parenting. I think you're doing a decent job telling your step son how to please you but not a good job telling him why he should want to please you. There's a saying about kings ruling with fear or with love. You don't have the option to rule with fear because of your position. You have to rule with love. This means spending quality time together wherever you can. Ask him for a walk or to sit outside with you after dinner. Teach him to make chicken and rice so he … | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/24 02:10 PM |
| 3 | Meeting my man’s sexual needs and my own emotional needsYou're 100% right, there's a proven link between agreeable people having lower salaries and getting promoted less. My mother told me once that her favorite qualities in her children were also her least favorite. I could be so stubborn, but she never worried that I would succumb to peer pressure, and so on. I think it was wise of her to connect those dots. Every quality has a dark side. I see women frustrated by their agreeable, empathic partners as well as their disagreeable, less empathic ones.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/24 01:43 PM |
| 1 | Meeting my man’s sexual needs and my own emotional needsWhat? Do you think children shouldn't play house or cops and robbers because they're pretending their friends are different people? Her reply was referring to the positives of disagreeable personalities more than anything else. You are free to research the pros/cons of roleplay whenever you wish, there are plenty of articles about it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/24 01:01 PM |
| 9 | No proposal after yearsI feel like this boils down to carrot, stick, or walk away. I'm a big fan of the carrot in general. I have a man who responds well to carrot and he digs his heels in if I bring out the stick. I don't know how your man operates, some people are negatively motivated. If I were in your shoes (and I'm in a somewhat adjacent dilemma and this is my plan), I would spend weeks/months putting in the time to make my partner happy and making sure I understand what he needs/wants from me. Why does he want t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/24 10:28 PM |
| 14 | Meeting my man’s sexual needs and my own emotional needsI don't know if you're familiar with the Big 5 personality model, but there's a component called Agreeableness that breaks down into two parts: politeness and compassion. It sounds like your partner is low in compassion, while you might score higher. Hence, your expectation that he'll fulfill your needs and he's just too Disagreeable to do it. The proven way to increase your attraction to someone is to focus on the good and not to obsess over the bad. The downsides of being disagreeable are exac… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/24 10:02 PM |
| 6 | No proposal after yearsWhat's the birth control situation? You might want to sit down and talk about getting off the pill or getting an IUD removed. Some of these things take a few months before they recommend trying for a baby. I like NFP using the symptothermal method because it forces a couple to have the "is this the right time for a baby?" conversation every ovulation. How much quality time would you say the two of you spend together every week? If you say this isn't at the forefront of his mind, spending more ti… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/24 08:18 PM |
| 2 | How can I find a guy who would want a housewife?My degree was in business. Easy and flexible. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/24 08:12 PM |
| 5 | How can I find a guy who would want a housewife?I had luck with introverted STEM majors. Male dominated universities or majors helps. Guys who had a positive experience having a SAHM growing up helps. I did an online degree, stayed at home, and worked most of my way through college and was able to bring about 10k into our finances when I got married at 21. It was immensely helpful. I ensure my personal cost is outweighed by how much I save us on expenses. Easy to do with kids, harder as a housewife. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/24 01:56 PM |
| 10 | Guy telling me I’m of lower value to himYou mention you're single, so you've broken up and are deciding whether or not to get back together? If he's as RPed as you say, there is no going back. You'd be relegated to "plate" status, ie no or low commitment sex. Nothing to do but move on. You're falling prey to the sunk cost fallacy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/24 02:07 AM |
| 6 | Confused between two guysHere are some vetting questions that Endorsed/Starred members of the sub put together. If marriage isn't a hell yes, it's a no, and I don't recommend you waste your time. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/05/24 01:57 PM |
| 1 | Should I withhold sex till marriage?I was looking into wedding prep with two different Catholic Churches in two different states five years ago and it was a six month minimum engagement for both. I'm surprised this wasn't your experience! The pre-cana didn't take months, but my understanding was that the Church has this in place as a preventative measure against divorce. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/05/24 12:57 AM |
| 3 | I have no ambitionsYeah, before I had kids I couldn't see the point in doing anything else. I was starved for a sense of purpose. Would you look into volunteering to hold the hospital babies? I hear that's a thing they need help with. If I could teleport back in time and have two years to prep for kids, I would make lists for activities, crafts, snacks to make together. I would make audiobook collections and plan out the equipment needed to make little gardens and freeze dried fruit snacks. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/24 02:15 PM |
| 8 | How can I retain self respect in LTR, while my boyfriend is going through emotional stress?Stating boundaries or introducing new priorities is like a big, red, shiny "Do Not Push" button. A lot of people need to know what happens if they push it. They aren't necessarily trying to blow up the relationship, they need the knowledge. Fear can be one reason why, but there are others. What you say when he threatens sex: "That would make me sad, I love connecting with you. But I would understand if you didn't want to anymore and I won't pressure you." I think it's good you've withdrawn a bit… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/24 02:01 PM |
| 5 | Husband lost interest because I gained winter weightI gotta be honest, the weight thing sounds a bit like a deflection. It sounds like you're putting in work to lose weight already, I'm curious to see if his attraction comes right back when it's off. In the meantime, you could buy a corset top or something. Whether his attraction returns or not, it'll provide you with a lot of helpful information. The rest of your marriage is something that you two have to talk through to work through. You've discovered you can't live like this for years, fair en… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/24 01:48 PM |
| – | ADVICE NEEDED!I looked over your edit and your response to CtB - what you're perceiving is bad and you need to change. The most important thing a couple needs to do in marriage is navigate conflict together. You guys do not seem to be able to. To contrast with my own marriage, both my husband and I have our moments where we behave badly and treat the other poorly. But, for the most part, we behave reasonably, address our conflicts, admit what we did poorly, and make amends. We work on our issues until we find… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/24 02:08 AM |
| 1 | ADVICE NEEDED!I think a broad definition of controlling is trying to change things outside of yourself. Some degree of controlling behavior, by this definition, is expected in a relationship. It's usually not as issue when presented as a request or when the other person is happy to oblige. I'm trying to control my husband when telling him to add a certain amount of sugar to my tea, for example, but we're both fine with this. Controlling becomes more negative when you coerce your partner into changing their be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/05/24 10:51 PM |
| 6 | Was excited about a date but not sure anymoreMost people will try to match the perceived energy and interest of the other party. That's just normal, healthy social skills. Having that conversation required vulnerability that exceeded this stage of your relationship, as well as the levels of vulnerability that you appear to be displaying. Not matching your energy would likely have made him come across as needy or insecure. The precedent you've set in the relationship so far with refusing the friend date and the home date likely had a big im… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/24 05:09 PM |
| 5 | Women who are provided for by their husbands, how did you / he ensure you'd be okay no matter what?There's a thread here that lists some financial protections for SAHW/Ms. Coming a bit from personal experience, introverted STEM majors can be a good place to look. The more male-dominated the university/major, the better. I don't recommend dating older (5+ years) unless you're introduced by someone in your social circle. Marriage, especially when kids are involved, is 80-90% doing things you don't feel like doing to help the household. It's a shit ton of work. Jen's advice to do it with someone… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/24 02:20 PM |
| 17 | Was excited about a date but not sure anymoreInitiate a date based on something you think he'd like Initiate physical touch (a kiss on the cheek, etc) Bring him something on your next outing (a small gift, a baked good) Ask him specific questions about his passions It can be helpful to offer a replacement when you say no to something, that way it doesn't read as a soft rejection. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/24 02:09 PM |
| 27 | Was excited about a date but not sure anymoreI'm not a dude but I would also suspect you weren't interested. Never attribute to malice what could be explained by ignorance. Jumping to thoughts of lying and manipulation at your expense when all he's done is slow down the date planning is a big leap. He doesn't think you're that into him. Turning further away from someone when they ask for support/a sign of affection is a surefire to confirm that. If you like him and think he's worth a bit of effort, invite him to something. Tell him you'd l… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/24 01:08 PM |
| 5 | Financial protections for SAHWsMarriage is the #1 financial protection a woman should take before staying at home. I know you said wife, but it's just by far the most important thing. Life insurance. Term life is enough if the couple is dutiful with retirement savings. Term life is crucial for the breadwinner but it would be wise to get it for the homemaker while the kids aren't yet school-aged. Disability insurance for the breadwinner. Spousal IRA. Homemakers can't contribute to their 401K but can contribute up to their IRA.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/24 07:44 PM |
| 8 | Why men are so jealous ?To give an example, imagine how a woman going into a luxury clothing store might feel looking at a mannequin versus looking at a well-dressed woman. With the mannequin, you might imagine how the clothes would look on you, or contemplate whether or not you should purchase them. When looking at another woman, you might think about how nice the clothes make her look and how fortunate she is to be able to afford them. Not a perfect metaphor, but I think many of us feel differently walking through an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/24 07:12 PM |
| 3 | STFU gone too far? Field report/ advice/ general discussionBut do you feel like he genuinely brings out the best in you the majority of the time? It seems like you've lost so many components of your life and no longer want children because of the version of you he brings out. It kills me cause I've had a relationship where I desperately wanted to make a miserable person happy. I was a constant disappointment and when he was angry he attacked everything about who I was. I withdrew from my faith, my family. I didn't do as well at my schoolwork and only di… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/24 02:05 PM |
| 6 | STFU gone too far? Field report/ advice/ general discussionYou are acting unwise to make negative words a part of your self-identity. We act in accordance with our identity - if you think of yourself as disloyal then you are more likely to act that way - not less. People aren't defined by mistakes. When my husband or I make a terrible mistake in our relationship and confess it to the other, the response the majority of the time is "okay, thanks for telling me." It's really not our job to punish or police each other. To put things a bit into perspective,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/05/24 02:30 PM |
| 42 | Should women expect the man to text daily when courting?People have all sorts of stuff going on in their life and have all different kinds of moods. I think it would be a mistake to assume this means something negative about how much he cares about you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/05/24 01:11 AM |
| 8 | STFU gone too far? Field report/ advice/ general discussionI agree STFU can be a helpful tool in arguments. STFU is neutral - neither adding logs to the fire nor putting it out. STFU is letting it burn out on its own. I think you're right that a lot of what he says when you don't react is trying to pick a fight. Dumping water on the fire requires saying something that makes the angry party feel heard and understood. Anger is primarily a protective emotion - something has hurt us and getting angry about it motivates us to ensure the hurt doesn't happen a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/05/24 03:31 PM |
| 6 | 2 proposals. 2 rings.If marriage isn't a hell yes, it's a no. You have major incompatibilities with 30M, didn't want to marry him when he proposed, and the two of you display a poor ability to work through conflict together. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/05/24 03:31 PM |
| 1 | How much money would it take for you to sell yourselfI find listing an extremely high amount of money and stating I would need my partner to also be onboard works best. Asking how much he would sell you out for makes it an equally icky hypothetical. Asking how much he would do it for is not equivalent as men view their sexual value as very low, for the most part. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/05/24 03:21 PM |
| 7 | Survey: how often do you have sex with your partner?Intimacy - We like to shower together. I'll sometimes give backrubs or run my fingers down his back. He'll hold me for a little while at bedtime. Just sitting and having a conversation without distraction and with a ton of eye contact also helps Fun - I like to get out of the house and go on dates, I work on my hobbies, I play games, read books, or watch shows that are just for me. Desirability - I shower, dress up, do my makeup. My husband is big on playful, sexual touch throughout the day whic… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/24 08:48 PM |
| 7 | Survey: how often do you have sex with your partner?I think it's helpful to break down why he can't and why I want to. Oftentimes I'm looking for intimacy or fun or feeling desirable. Sex is one way to get those things, and I can think of a different way to meet those needs. I feel bad for men sometimes. Their sex organ has a mind of its own and they're stuck dealing with the consequences. I don't want my husband to feel like a disappointment for something he doesn't have full control over. Shame isn't going to lead to more sex. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/24 08:37 PM |
| 7 | Survey: how often do you have sex with your partner?Both 25, married with kids. I'd say we have sex 1-3 times a week. I will initiate sometimes but my success rate isn't great so sometimes I choose to wait until he comes to me. If it was completely up to me, it'd be more like 5-7 times a week. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/24 08:28 PM |
| 4 | Unsatisfied with fiancé, should I break up?Girl, ask to roleplay some of the toxic scenarios from your last relationship. Also, do what you can to encourage flirty touch throughout the day. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/24 08:25 PM |
| 1 | Feminine Role Models in Media?I feel like people misunderstand the Barbie movie. It showcases the worst aspects of men and women somewhat equally and I believe it's more about power than intersexual dynamics. Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket - extremely empathetic, a good listener and friend, wise beyond her years, truly values people Kim from Better Call Saul - very competent, can let a man lead a relationship, strong moral compass | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/24 03:12 AM |
| 35 | Discussion - dead vs active bedroom - what really is the normSo how about it: what does it take to maintain an active bedroom over a lifetime. What are these people doing that others are not? How do you keep that alive. Why do some people have active bedrooms while others do not. Let's say a woman needs to have one or some combination of these factors to want to have sex that day: - 1 hour of pleasant or sensual thoughts about her man - 30 minutes of flirty touches throughout the day - 15 minutes of romantic touches or kisses in a single session Then the … | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/24 03:26 PM |
| 14 | “Girls night out “I believe it's a desire to feel powerful, to flaunt status. Men's status tends to consist of what they can buy or achieve, women's status tends to consist of who they can attract or get to commit. It mirrors the concept of men tending to be interested in things and women in people. Women's status is centered around the things women are typically interested in, and the same goes for men. | /r/TheRedPill | 01/05/24 11:38 PM |
| 1 | How do I deal with these points of frustration without nagging my boyfriend?I disagree with advice that could be summarized as women should sit and look nice and hope a man looks her way. Most things in life require incredible effort to achieve and maintain for women and men alike. Marriages work best when both parties see each other as the reward. If this is the man OP wants, can't we help her the goals she's decided? | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/24 08:40 PM |
| 3 | deep crisis in my LTR (13.5y, 3 children)Do you have physical evidence of these? Otherwise it's your word against his and you're the one who actually hit your kid and the only spouse with a history of physically abusing the other. These are going to majorly play against you. With no job, I wouldn't be surprised if dad gets full custody. Your older kids are probably old enough to pick what parent they live with (not sure how it works in Spain). | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/24 04:25 PM |
| 2 | deep crisis in my LTR (13.5y, 3 children)It sounds like a few months walking in the least-favorite-parent shoes that your partner has been stuck wearing for years has been too much for you to bear. Well, it's your life. I think if you've done work on yourself I mentioned before, and done the research on your new standard of living, how parents splitting affects kids, what the dating market would be likely, and believe the split is good enough for the family as a whole to go through with, then no one's going to stop you. If you're makin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/24 04:21 PM |
| 2 | deep crisis in my LTR (13.5y, 3 children)You've mentioned leaving your partner in a few comments now. Are you now saying you've decided you're definitely staying? Otherwise, one of the first questions you need to ask yourself is "can I afford to leave?". | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/24 03:57 PM |
| 2 | deep crisis in my LTR (13.5y, 3 children)The percentage of men who pay child support payments regularly, on time, and in full is stunningly low. If you're going to leave, you cannot depend on that money. It's not yours until it's in your bank account. He could up and move out of the country and you'd be screwed. Go and start applying for jobs, your youngest is about to start public school. See what's out there for you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/24 03:40 PM |
| 3 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTII think the problem I have with my husband is that, by my personal observation, he appears to be right on the line between F and T. He's very good at perceiving and understanding emotions. He's great at expressing himself, at all the F stuff really. He will test as an F. But, at the same time, I think he feels right at home with the Ts. He works in math, he likes games based on numbers, he likes nonfiction that references respectable studies. Numbers and data are his comforts, and his competence… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/24 03:30 AM |
| 10 | deep crisis in my LTR (13.5y, 3 children)"No agency" is feeling like you don't have the ability to make your own choices. "No accountability" is ignoring the choices you have made and what the consequences of those have been. If you feel like you're not the one making choices for your life, and if you are unable to see where you are making choices and how those choices are impacting others, then you will feel like you have no control. Feeling like you don't have control is likely to make you want to do something drastic to regain it. B… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/24 10:17 PM |
| 27 | deep crisis in my LTR (13.5y, 3 children)You write about your life as if it's something that happens to you. Go have some nice moments with your kid. I have a son about that age, one incident isn't going to make or break your relationship. Accept that you made some bad decisions here, and brainstorm solutions in which everyone can benefit. If you have no agency and no accountability, you have no control. This is why you're terrified and in crisis. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/24 09:32 PM |
| 2 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTIInteresting! I think my husband falls into Effectiveness the best even though those aren't his MBTI. I think I fit Harmony very very well. I love your MBTI series, I think it's such fun. It's nice to be challenging on our perception of our partners and it's a nice change of pace from the regular posts. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/24 07:04 PM |
| 2 | Had Sex. What do I do Now?I think it might be beneficial for you to maybe schedule a phone call, or a double date, or a public date during the day? If you have a couple instances of getting to know each other without having sex, it may help you regain the feeling of being in control of yourself. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/24 04:24 PM |
| 11 | Had Sex. What do I do Now?Don't know if this is helpful, but I wanted to wait until marriage for sex but slept with the guy who's now my husband a couple months into dating. I wrestled internally with it a lot, and he was sweet when I would claim that I didn't want it to happen again. But, I really was attracted to him and I really did enjoy myself when we kept going. Shit happens. He's really hot. I'm glad we're married now because sex is much better when you don't feel insecure, but I would've been silly to end the rel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/24 01:38 AM |
| 3 | Hypergamy, Wandering Eyes and Monkey BranchingI've found that there's usually either an emotional/physical driver of 'something' that is making me attracted to strange. I've found the same. I've been thinking of the phrase "idle hands are the devil's playthings". Perhaps it's only tangentially related, but one interpretation I have is that one should take caution when having an idea to meet some desire they have - ideas that pop into our minds to meet short-term needs are often destructive. I can begin putting in the same work that lead to … | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/04/24 03:00 AM |
| 11 | Hypergamy, Wandering Eyes and Monkey BranchingBased on my experiences I would agree that hypergamous drive is not an "always on" phenomenon, nor is it a death sentence for the relationship. In fact I expect it at certain times. If it is temporary it can be fixed. I find life is best if we accept the idea we are capable of terrible things and then choose to not go down paths that could lead to those things no matter how innocuous the path starts out. I've monkey branched, I know I have the capacity to think about other men in a relationship.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/04/24 12:02 AM |
| 7 | Hypergamy, Wandering Eyes and Monkey BranchingYes, I personally monkey branched from a guy with a completely different timeline on marriage and kids to my husband who married me 13 months into dating and was down to start a family right away. It's common. What about the scenario where a woman will have an affair but not want to leave the security that her husband or SO gives her? How does that fit into RP and hypergamy? It sounds like she's going about things the stereotypically male way. All the male/female behavior rules will have plenty … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/24 04:25 PM |
| 77 | Hypergamy, Wandering Eyes and Monkey BranchingSomething my husband likes to say is "the easiest way to have what you want is to want what you have". We tend to think that the only way to be happy is to get more of what we want. That's half of the equation. The other half is to want less. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/24 04:18 PM |
| 45 | Marrying a man who's not taller than youThe majority of women have a strong preference for height in men so you're definitely not alone. I wouldn't date a man the same height or slightly taller than me. "there are plenty of guys out there, I'm sure there's someone else who's got a beautiful heart and who also happens to be taller than me." Here's where I think you're going wrong. You can have your preference, but you will pay for it. It's unwise to assume "there's a guy out there with everything I like about this one AND the height th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/24 02:48 PM |
| 8 | My husband (30yo) prefers to masturbate than have sex with me (25yo)I've read stories from men in dead bedrooms before. Abstinence is slightly different but your man seems to have responded to it the same. In an effort to restrain themselves from initiating with the unavailable women, sometimes the men retrain their brains to not think of that woman sexually at all. I'm not sure what to advise you. It's not something I have much experience with and it sounds really difficult. I wonder if initiating teasing games (like chasing you or play wrestling) and things si… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/24 12:42 PM |
| 2 | 7 Tips to Retain a Loving Relationship with Small ChildrenI read the whole thing twice and really enjoyed it! I don't think I have a limit for someone enjoying something I said. XD | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/24 12:23 PM |
| 1 | 7 Tips to Retain a Loving Relationship with Small ChildrenThank you for taking the time to write all this out to me. It means a lot, and I'm happy to have helped. :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/24 12:02 AM |
| 2 | Stop Chasing the Honeymoon PhaseI think it helps to be really, really intentional. The other day I found myself conversing like I wanted him to hear me and agree with what I was saying without really trying to understand him. I wasn't even looking at him when he spoke! Once I noticed this, I apologized and started giving him my full attention. Then I started noticing how handsome he was, how wise he sounded. There's really no substitute for high-quality one-on-one time. Dates are a great way to get into that mode but date nigh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/04/24 04:12 PM |
| 8 | Men commit only when they're ready. Doesn't matter how great you are.I think you're confusing exceptions with the rule. There are some men who have decided their timelines and will rigidly stick to it. That is not all. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/24 06:03 PM |
| 24 | Men commit only when they're ready. Doesn't matter how great you are.I disagree. Men are not stupid. I highly doubt they are evaluating these women thinking that the current one is half as good as a previous relationship and choosing to settle down anyway. They'd have to be desperate to settle down for this to make sense - not just ready. We shouldn't try to change a man's mind if he's adamant on his marriage timeline and it's incompatible with our own. However, I think most people operate under the "if I find the right one, I'd commit" assumption. I guarantee yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/24 03:47 PM |
| 4 | My husband's tone and temper are ruining my attraction to him. I'm not sure if I'm handling it correctly.The premise of "ouch" that you're missing is akin to the idea that actions speak louder than words. In this case, replace actions with body language, or emotions. Puppy dog eyes and a sad face is going to do a better, more concise job of communicating how you feel without giving him much to get upset about. It doesn't have to be "ouch". My go-to is "that hurt my fee-fees :(". It communicates what I need it to with a tone that's appropriate for my marriage. I find that in my relationship, what wo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/24 02:01 AM |
| 22 | My husband's tone and temper are ruining my attraction to him. I'm not sure if I'm handling it correctly.Laura Doyle's chapters in "The Empowered Wife" on saying "ouch", "I can't", and using the Spouse-Fulfilling Prophecy to attempt to curb a bad temper. Are these among the ones you've read? To answer your question, yes, withdrawing is much more effective than yelling back. I wrote a comment explaining why to a different OP the other week. You didn't ask for help on the check thing specifically, but I recommend you go and write them all out apart from the signature for the rest of your lease. Then,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/04/24 04:04 PM |
| 37 | Trouble in my marriage - what can I do as the woman?Atomic Habits might be the book you're looking for. It states four basic premises for habit building: Make it obvious. Make it attractive. Make it easy. Make it satisfying. Conversely, if you want to decrease a behavior, you make it invisible, unattractive, hard, and unsatisfying. So, an example of this would be your grocery shopping and pantry organization. If you can, stop buying stuff you don't want your husband to eat. Chips can be replaced with roasted chick peas and nuts, sugary drinks wit… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/04/24 09:10 PM |
| 9 | Women, how do you find balance when there is so much on social media of women speaking badly of men or claiming they all cheat? And what are your thoughts on shera seven, she stays this..The majority of relationships don't have cheating. I've never seen Shera Seven, but I'll try to indulge her viewpoint for a second: it could be true that the vast majority of men cheat on their wives in the social circles Shera is a part of. The 15-20% lifetime infidelity rate mentioned in the above study won't evenly apply countrywide. Some communities will tolerate unfaithfulness more than others. Following this line of thinking, us women can do our best to look at our social circles criticall… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/04/24 02:54 PM |
| 2 | MBTI: The sixth love language?My parents are INFJ and INTJ so that makes me smile. The list definitely resonates with me. INFJs have to learn that even if one gives and gives and gives, it likely fails to make up for how one acts if they eventually snap. Appreciation is the best way for my partner to keep the snap from happening when we run into times where the constant giving is needed. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/24 06:03 PM |
| 2 | MBTI: The sixth love language?Yeah, you get it! :) I'm of the opinion that soul mates are forged, with most people not being a contender. At this point in my marriage, our idiosyncrasies and everything are so intertwined that I have a hard time believing I could ever be a wife in this way to another person. I'm sure I could love someone else, there are many lovely people out there. But it wouldn't be the same. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/24 04:44 PM |
| 8 | I want to understand some stuff about obedience and submissionImagine a tennis court. Your family member is on the other side, and they've just hit the ball into your court. You don't want to play. The best way to communicate this is to say "I don't want to play this game." If that doesn't work, you walk away. If you silently stand there and let tennis balls hit you, you are not communicating your desires well. If you hit the ball back into their side of the court, you are not communicating your desires well. In a marriage, oftentimes your partner has some… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/24 04:39 PM |
| 3 | MBTI: The sixth love language?I'm an INFJ! I present myself as an ideal and looked for my "perfect" match in relationships - an approach that went well romantically but not as well with female friendships. I'm slowly reworking my thought process regarding that and managing my expectations. Romantically I feel like INFJs do well. Understanding others comes naturally. Wanting the best for them is second nature. MBTI gets it right where burnout is an issue, but I have this more with my kids than my marriage. Kids don't stop tak… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/24 04:14 PM |
| 31 | I want to understand some stuff about obedience and submissionThrow out the words "submission" and "obedience" for a second. What kind of relationship do you want? Do you enjoy fighting and bickering? Do you take pleasure in insulting your romantic partner? Do you think these are fundamental parts of your romantic relationship that you would miss if they weren't there? If your answers are "yes", then by all means, go at it. Some people will intentionally choose the risk/reward ratio that goes along with all that extra drama. If your answers are "no" then t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/24 03:50 PM |
| 2 | I (21F) have too many male friends and it’s a problem for my (21m) bf.I think experiences will vary from woman to woman. I have never had a male/female friendship that stayed platonic 100% of the time for both parties. Once I started getting into relationships, it became a bigger risk than I was comfortable with. | /r/RedPillWives | 10/04/24 02:31 PM |
| 9 | Girlfriend vs Fiancé duties and privileges (we’re getting married!)My biggest thing that changed was that I was responsible for planning a wedding! My mom took the lead on that, thankfully. A couple of the first big questions: when is the wedding, and who's paying for it? Becoming fiancee is a good time to ingratiate with his family, if you haven't already, and catch up with your own family and friends. You have a lot of events (engagement party, bridal shower, etc) coming up so now is a good time to put any lingering unpleasantness behind you. Catholics are re… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/04/24 02:06 PM |
| 8 | Girlfriend vs Fiancé duties and privileges (we’re getting married!)I think Twilight is talking about reserving actually doing those things (starting a family, combining finances), not waiting to discuss them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/04/24 01:52 PM |
| 11 | Loyalty from RPMIf I'm reading this right, you're not sure he watches much FnF anymore and he hasn't really given you any signs of not being monogamous besides the occasional discreet glance? You might be somewhat high on the Big 5 model for neuroticism. I find the best way to combat feeling anxious is to perform one action to combat whatever my negative thoughts are focused on. So, in your case, you could do something nice for your partner, dress up, or do a beauty treatment. If I'm not pushing myself forward … | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/04/24 11:29 PM |
| 5 | Living with boyfriend: need ideas for sexy loungewearI like sweet little sundresses with nothing on underneath. Can't go wrong with 2 and variations of it, it's a classic. 4 has worked for me, it's probably my husband's favorite form of lingerie. He hates lingerie though, so I don't know how universal this would be. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/04/24 06:04 PM |
| 7 | Is 70/30 okay for young couples?My husband and I have more of like a financial advisor/bookkeeper arrangement. He decides investments and examines our big-picture spending habits. I make the household purchases and log every one into a spreadsheet, sort by category, and send him a report every quarter. I also track the investments and log those into a networth spreadsheet. This way I know everything that's going on and where all our money is, but I'm not responsible for much beyond tracking the day-to-day. Us touching base sem… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/04/24 06:49 PM |
| 5 | How’d you meet your husband and how long have you been married?? Just curiousWe originally met in high school. We were each other's "one who got away". I tracked him down in our college years and he initiated a relationship. We're coming up on five years married in the fall. He does not follow TRP. He enjoys the philosophy/morality of Christianity and stoicism. He is close to what some in the redpill sphere would call "a natural". He's always been a man of options. He's decided to not pursue them, chasing women/sex is not the man he wants to be. I do what I can to ensure… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/04/24 05:05 PM |
| 4 | Happy Married PRW, please brag on your husband a bit!Even on our worst days, I'm certain this is the life I want and he is the man I want to go through it with. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/04/24 01:33 AM |
| 1 | Ladies I need supportHave you ever been pulling on an object with someone pulling in the opposite direction? Say, a door, or a rope? Ask yourself what happens when one person lets go. How often do you witness the other person staying in the exact same position? | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/03/24 09:44 PM |
| 1 | How to be a Happy Human Being 101For sure! So one exception to this rule for both men and women could be if one knew their potential partner's baseline mental state and if one also knew that person was recently hit with a negative major life event, such as a break up. One could be reasonably sure the present day isn't an accurate picture of the person's mental health and could feel confident that the person's mental state will improve in the next few months. A new relationship is usually a positive major life event, and then bo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/03/24 04:06 PM |
| 8 | I (18f) feel like my boyfriend (20m) is only using me for sex, does it seem like it? should I say something to him?So there are a couple things about human nature I want to share here: 1) Women crave sex when they feel connected, and men crave sex to feel connected. 1) Anything rewarded is repeated. Anything punished is discouraged. Both of your needs for intimacy should be honored. It sounds like he has a easy time advocating for himself, so maybe you could try more fiercely advocating for yourself or try explaining your needs and ask him to please consider you when deciding plans. You could look up videos … | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/03/24 03:35 PM |
| 3 | How to deal with apology refusal/ communication issues?When I was dating, I adopted the mindset of "I can only make one man happy for the rest of our lives. I should pick one I think is really freaking special." It brought me a lot of comfort when weeding out potential suitors. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/03/24 03:14 PM |
| 1 | Ladies I need supportI don't see it that way based on what OP has written here, and I don't think it would benefit OP's marriage for her to adopt that point of view. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/03/24 03:07 PM |
| 12 | How to deal with apology refusal/ communication issues?Maybe it seems backwards but the first thing I do if I really want an apology is to apologize. This kind of culture is something I looked for in a relationship and what my husband and I continue to cultivate - each of us will self-analyze and take accountability for what we did. Sometimes we have interactions where one person made a minor mistake and the other made a major one (or several). No matter the imbalance, we'll apologize for our part. I think when the minor-offending party initiates th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/03/24 04:16 AM |
| 5 | Losing hope but still trying to improve myselfHave you heard of Dr. K and the HealthyGamerGG YouTube channel? He's a psychiatrist and has videos that touch on a lot of the topics you've mentioned here (autism, ADHD, social isolation, anxiety). I also really really recommend the book "Atomic Habits" if you're looking for ways to improve your day-to-day life and function. If you look into either of these, I'd be really curious to hear your thoughts! | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/03/24 08:58 PM |
| 6 | is it okay to share negative emotions with your partner? even if your time together is limited due to long distanceI've been feeling down the past few days I want to vent to (you) and for (you) to comfort me Tell him this verbatim. And let yourself be comforted. Sometimes when we seek comfort we try to argue with our comfortor, hoping for more comfort. It can be frustrating for them. Example: Woman "I feel ugly today." Man "You're not ugly. You're beautiful." Respond with something like "Thank you, it means so much that you feel that way. I'm having trouble believing it, but I'm grateful you said it" and not… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/03/24 08:44 PM |
| 8 | Ladies I need supportFunnily enough, I'm having the opposite issue where my husband is wanting me to wean and I'm so reluctant to end this era. I do not think your husband is making good points here. The stomach of a baby has expanded enough to not need night feeds when they're roughly 10 pounds. But I don't want to get into that too much. Let me break down what I think is the root of the conflict: The responsibility your husband feels and the power he feels he has are out of wack. He clearly cares deeply about your… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/03/24 05:57 AM |
| 2 | Starting rpw strategies after 10 years of marriageBut the interpersonal dynamic between myself and my husband have suffered, and im wondering if the worlds encouragement to abondon our feminine tendencies entirely isnt terrible advice. I want to make sure I understand you. You've been applying RPW techniques, it has worsened your marriage, and now you are thinking the world gives not-terrible advice when it says to abandon femininity? | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/24 08:21 PM |
| 3 | Your Girl Does Not Want You to Be VulnerableOh hello! Good to hear from you again. 1 - I don't mean to suggest the woman is always afraid of her partner. But I think women are often aware. A man's physical strength can be a double edged sword - it helps her feel protected against the rest of the world, or it can feel like the biggest danger inside the home. I think the reason foreplay like play wrestling or BDSM stuff can be so powerful for women to receive is exactly because it reminds women of their vulnerabililty: it simulates feeling … | /r/TheRedPill | 23/03/24 08:15 PM |
| 2 | Bf of 9 months bought million dollar home cash wants me to pay $1,000 rent + foodI agree it can be good to question someone's subjective definition. I would be wary of conflating questioning someone with asserting something. "Are you happy with this man?" versus "Your man is low value." | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/24 05:41 PM |
| 1 | Bf of 9 months bought million dollar home cash wants me to pay $1,000 rent + foodI'm not an expert of KS, but my understanding of the salary component is it's around 10k a month or more with a five year history. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/24 05:34 PM |
| 14 | Bf of 9 months bought million dollar home cash wants me to pay $1,000 rent + foodI also think it depends on her tenant rights and pushing for a legal contract outlining her household responsibilities and what happens if they break up is her best bet. OP, your boyfriend would be your landlord with your name nowhere on the lease. He might be cutting you a good deal on rent, but he's also subjecting you to a lot of volatility. Would you have a place to go immediately if things fell apart? Please also keep in mind, if marriage is your goal, they say women tend to view moving in … | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/24 03:21 PM |
| 2 | Bf of 9 months bought million dollar home cash wants me to pay $1,000 rent + foodI'm trying to wrap my head around definitions you have given, they are interesting. It seems like they come from a place of combining all the things a man has going for him, weighing them against what he doesn't have, and then seeing if the number hits a general threshold. Then each woman will have a specific threshold and a man's qualities will be uniquely weighted according to her values. Let me know if I've misunderstood. I tend to visualize it more like every woman filled out a questionnaire… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/24 03:05 PM |
| 2 | Bf of 9 months bought million dollar home cash wants me to pay $1,000 rent + foodI never gave "my" definition. You must be mistaken. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/24 02:17 PM |
| 0 | Bf of 9 months bought million dollar home cash wants me to pay $1,000 rent + foodThis is a critique of language. If we decide on an objective definition for a term, say the color blue, and someone describes something orange as blue, we would correct them to preserve the utility of the language. If we decide that anyone can determine what blue really means to them, and someone describes something orange as blue, there is no use correcting them since there is no utility to preserve. It goes against the purpose of having a subjective definition, it just frustrates everyone invo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/24 02:07 PM |
| 2 | Bf of 9 months bought million dollar home cash wants me to pay $1,000 rent + foodCan you explain to me why OP should value your (or someone else's) subjective definition over her own subjective definition? It would be more helpful to argue that there are more factors to consider, rather than to argue over an acronym that you don't care about the meaning of. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/24 01:52 PM |
| 9 | Bf of 9 months bought million dollar home cash wants me to pay $1,000 rent + foodWell, if we're going by the objective definition that Kevin Samuels popularized, HVM is entirely about salary, social circle, and status. There is little to no mention of physical appearance, personality, sexual prowess, etc. HVM doesn't really have anything to do with the quality of a romantic partner a man is, and everything to do with whether or not a stranger would respect him if the two met in passing. So, a man working a dead end, low-paying fast food job but was the kindest, most loving h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/24 01:28 PM |
| 2 | Balancing between being selective and picky when using dating appsI’m concerned that the men who put more effort into messaging might be expecting more physical intimacy than I’m willing to give especially on a first meeting. Do you think this is a real concern Oh, absolutely this will happen. No woman escapes being around men who want to escalate before she does, no matter how conventionally attractive. But it will not be all the men. Some might be putting in effort because they don't get many matches and they heavily invest in the ones they do get, for examp… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/24 01:03 PM |
| 5 | Broken girl ... Is all hope lost? How can I change?I have a post that breaks down the concept of happiness. I believe your first step is learning to make yourself happy without substances or external validation. Or, for you to at least believe you have the capacity to help yourself be happy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/24 12:33 AM |
| 5 | Balancing between being selective and picky when using dating appsNote: I've had limited experience with dating apps. You may want to place a time limit, of say, an hour on whatever dating app(s) you're using. When the timer runs out, that's it for the day. May help avoid burnout. Apps are marathons and not sprints, from what I understand. I would suggest you take the first step to escalate to a phone call with guys you want to get to know better. Most men would be happy to move beyond text asap but wait it out to help women feel comfortable. You can get a fre… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/03/24 12:58 PM |
| 2 | Need help with sex...Hmm, there were quite a few "no women works that way" sprinkled in with the "the vast majority of women don't work that way". If it was only the latter then I wouldn't care. But I see your point. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/03/24 01:14 PM |
| 2 | Need help with sex...Might it be possible to get yourself aroused and apply lube on your own, then track down your partner and initiate? | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/03/24 05:06 AM |
| 2 | Need help with sex...I found your comment very reassuring. I have a similar response to my husband that your previous girlfriends had with you, and after reading through some of the comments I was feeling a bit miffed. I think it stands to reason that if some women can experience dryness to an uncommon degree, that there are women on the other side of that spectrum. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/03/24 05:02 AM |
| 2 | Why do some women get proposed to a lot?My theory is that women who are above average in attractiveness and have "high trust" facial features with a slim build probably have the easiest time finding a good husband. Women who are attractive with "low trust" facial features or women with curvy builds tend to get approached more for sexual relationships. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/03/24 02:12 AM |
| 5 | Why do some women get proposed to a lot?Essentially, how physically desirable you are compared to your peer group (other members of your sex in a similar age range). | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/03/24 01:54 AM |
| 7 | Porn addiction in men (reasons to avoid?)My husband has a porn addiction, he had already started doing the work to overcome it when we decided to date. Its effect on our marriage has been minimal, I would say. We have a happy marriage and sex life. You can look into PIED (porn induced erectile dysfunction) for an example of the physical effects. Mental and physical effects can linger for years even when sober. When it comes to personal flaws or personal consumption of instant gratification type things, I think it's important to find so… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/24 10:59 PM |
| 2 | Housing crisis is draining meAny Extended Stay style hotels in your area? My husband and I stayed in one for four months a few years back waiting to move into our house and it wasn't so bad. Sometimes you can look on Airbnb and find a decent deal for long term stays as well. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/24 04:45 PM |
| 1 | Housing crisis is draining meWhere is B going? | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/24 03:21 PM |
| 4 | What do you all think of the 'manic pixie dream girl'?Cute post! Always wise to observe what works and try to adapt the best/most applicable of it where you can. Funnily enough, a little while ago I prepared some meals to freeze for my husband when I took the kids to visit family. I labeled them all, and about halfway through started to add little doodles and notes to my labels. My husband treasured the one with boobs and the one with a little rabbit - he said he put them aside to save for last once he saw them. Something about little nude sketches… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/03/24 11:33 PM |
| 12 | What do you all think of the 'manic pixie dream girl'?I don't think most women enjoy being loud/bright/garish colours/hyperactive, when I see this I assume they're going way out of their way to impress someone One of the most interesting couples I've met had a wife with major MPDG energy. They were fascinating - he was basically the guy from Up, and she was this artsy former model who could tell you crazy stories for hours while he looked on and occasionally cracked some very dry jokes. They weren't keeping up a pretense, they were old and had gran… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/03/24 11:28 PM |
| 20 | Can I be RPW if I married someone who is not a high earner?Welcome! Anyways, just new here. What can I learn? Make sure to check out our wiki through the "everything you need to know about RPW" link in the sidebar. Is this community about landing someone who is committed and high earning? So what RPW typically have in common is how we relate to and attempt to understand men, and that we want male-led LTRs. Beyond this, we have childless women here, working moms, women who don't desire marriage, women who out-earn their partners, women in poly or BDSM re… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/03/24 06:42 PM |
| 6 | How not to become a plate & still avoid "the talk"?When you told the man that you were waiting for marriage - was it something that related to the conversation you two were having, or did you bring it up? In that particular situation we had a miscommunication and he thought I was expressing interest in sleeping with him when I was not. I then explained my position. There were other times and other men when I was the first to bring it up fairly unprompted. Here's a breakdown on how I see your situation: You want to be with this man, you are makin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/03/24 06:29 PM |
| 19 | How not to become a plate & still avoid "the talk"?If you've made every man wait, then it's not as big a deal to ask him to wait. I think most men looking for a LTR accept that sex may take some time but that they don't want to be "punished" by pursuing a relationship. Men will subconsciously judge a woman for being wife material by how she handles situations like these. A woman walks a fine line between being agreeable and knowing how to say no. If a woman can't say no, she can't be trusted around other men. If we picture previous points in his… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/03/24 01:45 PM |
| 11 | Met a guy who writes a blog on how men can seduce women. Lots of articles about this. On the blog he also advertises dating apps (where he’ll earn commission if people sign up for the apps) and writes tips for how men should use them. How much of a red flag is this on a 1-10?I think the normal vetting rules apply: Can you trust this man? Can you respect this man? Can you follow this man? If it's no, it's no. Most people won't be compatible with most people. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/03/24 05:00 PM |
| 9 | Vetting Questions to Ask Yourself - DiscussionVery important one for me: Does this person help/inspire me to be the best version of myself? And: Do I want to help/inspire this person to be the best version of himself? Can I happily make sacrifices for his sake? | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/03/24 03:57 AM |
| 8 | Met a guy who writes a blog on how men can seduce women. Lots of articles about this. On the blog he also advertises dating apps (where he’ll earn commission if people sign up for the apps) and writes tips for how men should use them. How much of a red flag is this on a 1-10?What are the seduction tips like? The dating app commission thing seems very normal considering his job. Many influencers earn money this way. Does he make it clear he's being sponsored? How important is steady, reliable employment to you? How long has he been doing this for? Is this his career plan forever? | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/03/24 03:43 AM |
| 2 | Your Girl Does Not Want You to Be VulnerableI can't say my experience lines up with anger not being a turn off but I will agree that crying is probably more detrimental than anger on average. I think the reverse is true as well: men will judge women more harshly for displays of anger than they will for crying. But, I truly believe at the heart of this it has to do with losing frame. I think attraction loss is likely in proportion to the degree one loses control: shedding a lone tear is seen differently from crying which is distinct from s… | /r/TheRedPill | 13/03/24 03:32 AM |
| 10 | Guy breaks up with me after 3 months because he “can’t do monogamy”Yeah, I'd personally be feeling pretty bad too. I feel like it's a popular theme in woman's literature that we inspire men to change in order to be with us. It's easy to feel bad when that doesn't come to fruition. Rejection stings, sometimes especially if we think the other person should've regarded us as a catch. I would recommend you block him on everything because there's a possibility he might try to start something sexual now that he's written off some romantic. He would feel like his cons… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/03/24 04:48 AM |
| 3 | Your Girl Does Not Want You to Be VulnerableDisgust and lack of respect is not fear or "self-preservation". I would say the reaction depends on which negative emotion was displayed by the man. Him being very sad can lead to disgust or lack of respect, I agree. Women witness this and, in the moment, will doubt his ability to lead her/keep her safe. Him being frustrated or angry is more likely to lead to fear. In most heterosexual couples, most men are physically capable of killing their female counterpart with their bare hands. Women will … | /r/TheRedPill | 10/03/24 01:12 AM |
| 35 | Your Girl Does Not Want You to Be VulnerableI'm not sure if vulnerability is the most accurate term. I think women can be sincere in this request. My understanding is that the turn off comes from when a woman witnesses a man overtaken by his emotions. He is uncontrollably angry, or sad to the point where an attempt at comfort isn't enough to make a difference. He loses frame, in other words. He does not seem himself. A woman may want to be a safe place for a man, a comfort, but I believe most will be overcome by fear and self-preservation… | /r/TheRedPill | 09/03/24 04:27 PM |
| 2 | My husband hates my new dressI promise it's very endearing when you demonstrate you care so much about his "small" preferences. Really great girl game technique. I think you're right. I once heard someone give the marriage advice that whoever cares more should be the one to win the argument. I'm not sure I agree with this as a rule, but I think in this situation it can be very helpful. Op can't control how her husband feels. It seems he cares a moderate amount. If OP is willing to give this up (by say, buying a different pi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/03/24 06:18 PM |
| 12 | My husband hates my new dressHow easy/hard is it to find things you both like? It's relatively easy for me, so in my position I would return the dress. As much as I might fight it, my husband hating it would have a big negative impact on the joy the dress gives me. If I make a disparaging comment about something he wears, he doesn't really wear it anymore either. I might feel differently if it was rare for me to find something I loved. It could go over better to get flashy with sweaters, accessories, purses, hats, scarves, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/03/24 02:53 PM |
| 9 | My boyfriend failed to impress my mother – is it relevant?What my parents think of my boyfriend is not important. At all. The important part is that I think highly of him and love him. Are the two of you financially independent? Do you plan on having kids? Do you have a wide support system outside of family? "Us versus the world" only goes well while the two of you are doing well. If you take on more stress and responsibility and don't have anyone to turn to, you will turn on each other. If you care if family comes to your wedding, meets your children,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/03/24 06:31 PM |
| 3 | How to be more respectfulHow often would you say you give him compliments, or appreciate him for little things he does? This could be a matter where adding more positive interactions matters just as much as reducing negative interactions. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/03/24 05:22 PM |
| 15 | Dating Without Attraction: Can it work? What if the Pros outweigh the Cons?There are risks to marrying for the man and for marrying for the lifestyle. Most of these are because both the man and the lifestyle he provides can change. Also because what you want will likely change. The least risky option would be to find a man who has both and at 23 I would still encourage you to look for it. Better 60 years with a great fit than 65 with a decent one. It's a huge benefit to marriage if you're as excited about what you're getting from the other person as you are about what … | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/24 02:36 PM |
| 17 | Final “test” before proposal? And how long to wait.It sounds like you've been building a future together, on your dime, that you won't see a cent of if he decides to leave you. If nearly all of your planned savings for retirement are in his name, then I'm not about to advise you to leave at your age and occupation. I would take baby steps first. Tell him you can no longer afford your current situation (if you can't afford to save, you can't afford this lifestyle). Ask to swap the mortgage and the car payment. Save the $1400 a month. Feeling like… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/02/24 07:59 PM |
| 8 | Dating in collegeHere's what worked for me at that age: Male-dominated hobbies and classes. There are stats on gender distributions on college campuses and how male-dominated colleges see more LTRs and female-dominated colleges see more hook-ups. In other words, when you're surrounded by men, men will have to compete on a woman's terms - committed relationships. Your college has been chosen, but you can likely simulate this effect in your electives or your hobbies. Cold approaching I know people talk a lot about… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/02/24 02:15 PM |
| 1 | Am I being gaslit or am I the crazy oneMy husband and I have location sharing on. Yesterday I checked if he was on route to come home so I could know to start dinner and to tell our antsy littles that Daddy is on the way. For whatever reason, it kept showing him at work! It did have a little message next to it that said "19 minutes ago" or something. Not sure if this is Google Maps specific? Finally it jumped and then all of a sudden he was three minutes away from home. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/02/24 04:46 PM |
| 5 | Lost interest because he didn’t know how to change a car tire.I'm wondering if you selected for a man with a blue collar job or handiness skills before the date? This would seem more reasonable if so. I think it's fine to want a man to solve his own problems, or to feel like he can solve your problems, but everyone will have knowledge gaps. Young people excel at learning quickly, and older people excel at accessing what they've learned in the past. Depending on your age, losing attraction for what someone doesn't know can seem harsh. My husband has a white… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/02/24 01:48 PM |
| 1 | Update *Last post locked so if not allowed please delete, it was not intentional!*I wouldn't say he feels tricked, I don't think he thinks I ever have bad intentions. But there's a difference between acting on the love you feel versus actively trying to kindle your love for each other. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/02/24 03:54 PM |
| 1 | Update *Last post locked so if not allowed please delete, it was not intentional!*Sometimes if I do something very kind, I'll get hit with a "did RPW encourage this today?" There is sometimes a part of him that doubts the gesture sprung from a spontaneous and genuine desire to make him feel loved, and suspects that the idea sprung from Reddit. This doesn't cause issues and is easy to reassure if the answer is that it came from me. Or sometimes if I'm acting poorly, it comes up that I'm not doing well and not utilizing my knowledge/tools. It makes the bad times feel more inten… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/02/24 03:37 PM |
| 2 | Update *Last post locked so if not allowed please delete, it was not intentional!*Glad there's some light at the end of the tunnel! My husband and I talk about all this stuff as well, I wouldn't change things overall but there are some downsides. Best of luck to you | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/02/24 03:29 PM |
| 2 | Dating and being "older"There are both categories of men out there. I have a bachelor in my family who is unmarried in his fifties because he's very picky and has a new girlfriend every few months. My money is on OP going on dates more with this category than the ones who have nothing and no one. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/02/24 03:19 AM |
| – | Backup Site for The Rules RevisitedAll great posts that I hadn't read before! Thank you for sharing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/24 05:25 AM |
| 5 | Changing yourself to become better but kind of regretting it?Orange is great! I'm a sucker for time travel + romance. I feel like I've watched nearly all the shoujos at this point. I live for the moments when Roy Mustang is onscreen! Although Alphonse is such a sweetheart. It sounds really hard to lose your social circle in pursuit of a guy you'd want to spend the rest of your life with. I will say that for me, finding my match offset a ton of the loneliness. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/24 05:17 AM |
| 10 | Changing yourself to become better but kind of regretting it?Damn girl, sounds tough. Tell me your favorite anime? Mine's Orange, after FMAB of course. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/24 05:06 AM |
| 4 | RPW Mothers: Is anyone here able to take care of a child, cook and keep the house clean without using screens?Yeah, the TV is on more than we'd like in our household. We don't allow other screens. I'd wager it's not sustainable to keep the house clean, cook 3 times a day, and do no screen unless your husband gives you a lot of off time on nights and weekends. My husband has to work towards his certifications during his off times. Date nights are infrequent, time off for myself (not counting naps or after bedtime) is a handful of times a year. Practical tips: -overnight oats, or reheating frozen food you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/24 12:22 AM |
| 2 | Do you think the average straight woman feels this way about guys?I had similar feelings and experiences as you before I met my husband, and yes, I'm wild about him and feel he awakened my sensual side. So, it's possible this could happen to you as well. Now I relate to the straight women experience completely, whereas before I wondered if I was asexual. I did meet my husband fairly young though. I encourage you to introduce yourself if you see an attractive man you want to get to know. I was super shy but something in me pushed me to go and talk to the man I … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/02/24 10:00 PM |
| 1 | Need advice on how to approach my man without sounding like I’m nagging or complaining!!Would you be open to trying to initiate a 69 position? | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/02/24 09:55 PM |
| 3 | Housewives/moms - do any of you work part time (from home)?I do some remote work online sometimes. DataAnnotation. My SIL had success with Appen a few years back | /r/RedPillWives | 14/02/24 10:12 PM |
| 8 | Concern about SaggingFunnily enough, I've read that breastfeeding contributing to breast ptosis is largely a myth. The bulk of the damage is done during the unavoidable changes to the breast through pregnancy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/02/24 02:23 PM |
| – | Is there any solution for this?(a reply to OP's deleted comment) I want you to like to reframe pretending: this is about focusing on the gesture rather than the gift. It's consciously choosing to focus on the fact that someone voluntarily spent their time, money, and energy to do something kind to you. I think if we turn our attention away from the material thing, it'll be easier to have a kind reaction. And when we show appreciation, it gives them confidence that they have the ability to make us happy! We've now positively r… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/24 09:30 PM |
| 5 | Is there any solution for this?I can be a bit of a control freak. I told my husband I was cool with no gifts, I would rather we agree on a dollar amount that I can save/spend on exactly what I want. He still takes me out for dinner at a restaurant of my choosing for my birthday and our anniversary, Valentine's Day I usually cook at home. In my opinion, if you want to pick the gift, you're taking the thoughtfulness out and leaving them with an errand. Which can work for some couples, like mine, where I'm down to do the shoppin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/24 07:52 PM |
| 24 | Negging is DumbIf negging isn't fun for the woman, you're likely doing it wrong. It's not meant to be a practical observation. It's meant to be somewhat absurd, like telling a tall woman things might not work because you don't want to hurt your neck bending down to kiss her. Back to the sidebar. | /r/TheRedPill | 13/02/24 05:12 PM |
| 3 | Should I move on or try again?On the contrary, I think knowing how to put aside our pride in pursuit of our goals can be a great skill. It took me reaching out many times over the years before my husband initiated a relationship. It was worth it for me - not just because I got the guy in the end, but also because I tend to be much more relentless now in reaching my goals and bettering myself. I used to want things to be much picture perfect, which was leading me to stagnate. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/02/24 10:59 PM |
| 4 | Boyfriend only wants me to wear skirts/dresses majority of the timeI'm not sure why you're being downvoted, you are correct. If there weren't things about him OP desired, she wouldn't consider giving up how she dresses and what she enjoys. There can be drawbacks to dating up on the socioeconomic hierarchy. Your partner knowing they have power over you and using that to exert influence is one of them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/02/24 08:19 PM |
| 12 | Boyfriend only wants me to wear skirts/dresses majority of the timeI don't think this is about the skirts, so I'm going to set practical advice about that aside. You do not feel like he sees you as good enough. This is a problem, but not just because of how it makes you feel. I'm guessing you'd like to advance your relationship with him, but since he's expressing that he's not content with you, you feel as though marriage and other next steps are off the table. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you sound fine with compromise and self-improvement provided the goal po… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/02/24 08:09 PM |
| 4 | How Women Keep ScoreFirst of all, I often think there are two ways to view human nature/relationships/love: some like to act as audience members enamored by magic tricks, and some would prefer to be behind the curtain to watch how the illusion is manufactured. I find that I very much like to learn about both: my knowledge of the behind-the-scenes does not ruin the magic of the trick. Others may prefer just one. I think your post is very much the latter: you are describing something in technical terms and because of… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/02/24 03:41 AM |
| 6 | How Women Keep ScoreVery cute! Thanks for sharing | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/02/24 01:08 AM |
| – | "What do you think?" - how the heck do you respond to this question?!I wouldn't say you're doing something wrong, but I think it can be a lot easier to lead with feelings rather than thoughts. So, in your case, something like "I'm feeling pessimistic right now, but I would love for this to work." Basically, lead with a brief summary when your thoughts are negative. If he asks you to elaborate, you can fully open up. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/02/24 04:19 PM |
| 5 | How do I 26f fix this mess of a life I have built so farI have a post that breaks down happiness here. I don't think your self-destructive tendencies will stop until you are able to be responsible for your own happiness. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/24 09:09 PM |
| 2 | Any British women I can follow?I was coming here to say this! | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/02/24 02:45 PM |
| 70 | I (f22) am planning on a petty revenge for my cheating ex bf(m29).Big life lesson for you: people don't actually side with the person who was "right" and against the person who was "wrong". They side with who they have the better relationship with/who will add more value to their life, and will come up with reasons to justify that decision. The only people who will turn away from him are the people who have a closer relationship with you. Trying to convince anyone else is a waste of your time. The best revenge is a life well lived. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/02/24 10:00 PM |
| 5 | Getting married in 2 months and fiancé broke down in tears due to sexless lifeHey OP, I'm rooting for you. This is exactly the kind of situation that the Laura Doyle books help with. Many women have had issues similar to this. I believe you can turn your relationship around, and I hope you'll come back and leave a field report when things improve. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/02/24 02:47 PM |
| 12 | My bf says I’m selfish and disrespectful. Am I overreacting? I want to do better.People don't really change. We have good periods where our strengths shine, and bad periods where our flaws are exacerbated. The way most of us change is by our lives either improving or deteriorating. Life circumstances will change over time, and we can also put in effort to change our lives and improve our situations. So, to some extent, yes, if you become nearly perfect it might improve your boyfriend's life enough for him to stop being insulting and looking at other women. But if say, he get… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/02/24 02:31 PM |
| 9 | What should I do 32FIt's fiction, but you might be interested in Jane Austen's novel 'Persuasion'. The lesson learned by the protagonist is that when you decide your own life, you are less likely to have regret and that regret will be less painful than if you let others decide your life for you. If you want to have a family, work towards that goal. If you want your children to be close with family, be good to your in-laws and strengthen your connection to your brothers. Having lots of cousins and aunts and uncles s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/02/24 02:33 AM |
| 7 | I feel more like a man than a womanI know this probably won't mean much, but I would advise you don't psych yourself out too much. There are plenty of times when my husband does something that's more stereotypical of a woman and I'm more stereotypical of a man. Every woman has testosterone and every man has testosterone. It's not uncommon to have times where you feel more masculine than feminine. When you're feeling anxious, tell yourself to do one feminine sounding thing. Read a book. Light a candle. Make some tea. If it's any c… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/24 08:05 PM |
| 1 | SEX WITH NO DESIRE?What about spontaneously initiating? Does that lead to him turning you down? Offering to do something else after turning down his bid for PIV sex can still feel like a rejection and make it hard for him to feel desired by you. I want you to try to rethink his bid for more sex in your mind, to think of it as a bid to feel wanted or for intimacy. PIV alternatives need to have a "I can't keep myself off your sexy body" energy to be satisfying and avoid feeling like you're fulfilling an obligation. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/24 04:26 PM |
| 5 | SEX WITH NO DESIRE?What are your thoughts on giving oral sex in moments like this? Alternatively, what are your thoughts on more low-effort sex focused on intimacy? Spooning, not changing positions, finding positions that are more shallow in penetration, kisses, cuddles, little focus on you reaching a climax if you don't want to, etc. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/24 03:42 AM |
| 4 | Dating 4+ years, boyfriend hasn’t proposed and I’m ready to be married and have babiesBefore I met my husband, I was with a man who promised me that he would give me anything I could possibly want if I waited ten years for him. He wasn't willing to compromise on marriage and kids until he finished residency. I decided to pick the man who would give me everything I need, even if that meant our discretionary spending would never be as high. It's perfectly valid to want to leave for your goal marriage and kids. But if that's truly what you want, as soon as possible, and preferably w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/24 03:12 AM |
| 10 | Dating 4+ years, boyfriend hasn’t proposed and I’m ready to be married and have babiesIf he's late twenties like OP, there's a good chance he hasn't been making that for very long. There could be student loans, and in a HCOL area the family sized homes could be $1 million and he might be trying to save 20% of that while paying $5k a month in rent and putting 40k into retirement funds. Or he could be full of crap. I'd want to know his financial plan before I call it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/24 03:01 AM |
| 4 | Dating 4+ years, boyfriend hasn’t proposed and I’m ready to be married and have babiesBy going out, I mean to dinner, or to the movies, or whatever. You mentioned he covers 100% of the cost for activities the two of you do together. Basically, I don’t feel it’s a woman’s responsibility to make a man’s goals come true. But you feel it's his responsibility to make your goals come true? This is why I mentioned the crossroads. One of you is going to have to give first so that both of you can be happy. If you've decided you are not willing to take that step, then perhaps it is best yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/24 02:53 AM |
| 4 | Dating 4+ years, boyfriend hasn’t proposed and I’m ready to be married and have babieshis goals are his own goals and have nothing to do with it. If this is how you treat his goals don't be surprised when he treats yours the same way. Either both of what you want matters, or neither does. I personally would choose to value both. what would you suggest if I’m already 100% self-sufficient? Cut how much you go out and he's paying everything for dates and activities. Save money. Half your dates are now at home and you cook or order in. Start your own baby fund. If you're in the US, e… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/24 02:43 AM |
| 7 | Dating 4+ years, boyfriend hasn’t proposed and I’m ready to be married and have babiesHere's my basic perception of your situation: He has goals. You have goals. He does not want to meet your goals until his goals are met. You do not want to meet his goals until your goals are met. You are at a crossroads. You're working against each other. Now, because your goals are family oriented, you need a man's cooperation. You would prefer that man to be him. In my opinion, the best way to get your goals met would be to dive deeply into his goals and help him achieve them. This will speak… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/24 02:12 AM |
| 10 | Dating 4+ years, boyfriend hasn’t proposed and I’m ready to be married and have babiesI would think the first thing to know is his marriage timeline. Ask for numbers. Sit down and look at them together. Say he's budgeting for a $5k engagement ring, 10% down payment on a home, $20k wedding, and anticipating 25k in first year baby costs - that's a lot to save even at a high salary. Maybe you know things he doesn't. Maybe you're cool with a $1k moissanite ring or you're getting secondhand baby gear and a big baby shower from family. If financial goals aren't based on specific milest… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/24 01:55 AM |
| 9 | what do you think of loyalty testsYou may be interested in my post about shit testing. Any sort of testing usually benefits the tester at the testee's expense. A lot of people will balk at being treated like they're a bad partner, sometimes especially if they're a good one. Being a loyal partner but being treated like you may be a disloyal partner is a lose-lose situation. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/24 01:33 AM |
| 4 | What are some Red Pill related podcasts I could listen to?I like Maiden Mother Matriarch by Louisa Perry! | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/24 01:30 AM |
| 3 | STFU or be vulnerable?How would your path forward change depending on whether he thought it was an addiction or not? to find out why he felt he had to lie to me My guess here is compulsion and shame. These might predate you - my husband will hide eating junk food from me. It makes no sense why, I enjoy junk food and seeing him have things he likes. I buy the food for him. But there's multiple generations of fucked up views on food in his family we're dealing with. It could also be self-interest. He's lying because he… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/24 05:42 PM |
| 3 | STFU or be vulnerable?Since you used the "his paper" phrase, I'm going to assume you are familiar with Laura Doyle. I think this sounds like a good opportunity to use a spouse fulfilling prophecy. What/why do you want to know about his porn usage? | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/24 05:50 AM |
| 7 | Why are You a Red Pill Woman?Because of how you were raised? I had a lovely childhood and family. My parents are great, my siblings are cool people. My parents are very much in love with a sole breadwinner/SAHM dynamic and I wanted for myself someday. I have a fondness for men. I had negative experiences with both sexes growing up, as I'm sure we all do. But the ones with women/girls tended to have more malice in them. The pain inflicted was more intentional. I believe my childhood experiences led me to have an easy time fi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/02/24 02:45 PM |
| 22 | If finances were no obstacle, how many children would you have?I'd say four kids. I want to wrap up the pregnancy and breastfeeding phase before I'm thirty. My husband does not want more kids and I've been pushing for a third. It's a regular discussion. Before I had kids I couldn't imagine not wanting 4-5 kids. I'd be very content with three now. Time/energy are more limiting than money for me. I knew the early years would be hard, but let's just say that actually going through it has made me appreciate many of the other ways I could be spending my time. At… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/02/24 05:11 AM |
| 1 | Why do men prefer to try to make boss babes tradwives instead of going for actual women who aspire to be tradwives?Interesting. I wonder if this is geographic. My circle has a lot of STEM degrees for the men and very commonly is SAHM for the women. To your point, no SAHWs, apart from the ones who become empty nesters. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/02/24 02:31 AM |
| 9 | Why do men prefer to try to make boss babes tradwives instead of going for actual women who aspire to be tradwives?Despite everything she advertised herself to be. Not despite. Because. The traits that allowed her to succeed in her career are the same ones he wants to be centered around his kids. He wants a woman who'll potty-train at 2, teach the kids to read before they're 5, who'll fight for advanced classes and academic programs. He wants the women who encourages a wealth of extracurriculars and hobbies and being active. He's betting on the woman who worked hard for a degree and a career to be capable of… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/01/24 09:54 PM |
| 1 | Broke up with my BF (23m)If your question is "will I find someone with all of his positive qualities and none of the things that caused conflict between us" the answer is probably no. You could even find someone with the same exact value differences, but maybe this guy you'd like a little more and would be more willing to work things out or change in ways you won't miss in order to keep him. If your question is "will I find someone I care deeply about again" or "will I find someone who I think is as much of a catch" the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/01/24 02:39 PM |
| 0 | Broke up with my BF (23m)What's your stance on the areas of conflict between the two of you now? Not every woman is okay with being restricted in what she wears and who she speaks to. Not every man is okay with how sexily a woman may dress or how close she is with the men in her social circle. I'm hearing a lot about how the two of you have different values and were unable to reach an agreement/compromise. What has changed? | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/01/24 03:56 AM |
| 3 | I’m 24 years old: should I start dating to marry or dating for fun/self discovery is fine?If you have goals, work to achieve them. The fact that it feels like work sometimes doesn't mean they aren't worthwhile goals. I did marriage and kids at 21 and that was right for me. Most people in my social circle marry in their twenties and stay married. It's harder for people who don't have that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/01/24 03:34 AM |
| 63 | Why do men prefer to try to make boss babes tradwives instead of going for actual women who aspire to be tradwives?It's not necessarily the career that's attractive - it's ambition and competence, which a career can be an indicator of. Everyone, whether they want kids or not, will subconsciously vet a spouse for qualities they would want their children to have. Ambition and competence are widely desirable traits that most men will want instilled/genetically passed onto their kids. It is possible to be ambitious and competent and want to stay home, but it can be tricky to find examples of competent homemaking… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/01/24 03:30 AM |
| 3 | Bl*wjob vs Handj*b vs Regular S*xOof! Now picture two warm raw chicken breasts. My experience has been that, if there is enough lubricant, that sex acts will vary from very pleasurable to neutral. This is before you add in any psychological components, which can be just as powerful. Skills like oral sex can take months and even years to learn how best to please one's partner. I would advise a virgin woman to stick more towards vaginal sex when first starting out, especially if the man is more experienced. Everything else can be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/24 08:48 PM |
| 1 | Bl*wjob vs Handj*b vs Regular S*xIt can be done when men are soft? How? One would be very gentle. Very little pressure. Think kisses, etc. I would have thought it would take less time as the giver has a controllable tongue, which is lacking down below. I would argue a penis during sex is more easily controlled than a tongue during oral sex. There are two main facets of oral sex: a tongue and a mouth/throat. The more you use one, the less you'll be able to use the other without strain. At least, this is often the case when pleas… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/24 08:23 PM |
| 5 | Bl*wjob vs Handj*b vs Regular S*xOthers have touched a bit on the psychological component so I'll try to go more into the physical. Oral sex can be given to men in an unaroused state (for both the man and the woman). Other sex acts require an erection or lubrication, which requires the man to "perform" to some degree even if the woman is doing most of the work. Blowjobs are the only sex act to require nothing from men, so on a sub about personal responsibilities and LTR, it makes sense why it would be a recommended option. Hand… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/24 07:40 PM |
| 5 | Extremely different sleeping habitsI agree that your sleep patterns can evolve over time! My husband went from never wanting to cuddle to sleep to occasionally falling asleep holding me. We have a king size mattress which is very nice for when we want to get some space from each other. We also did separate bedrooms for the newborn phase! Total game changer for us. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/24 03:40 PM |
| – | Accused of being the cause of his sister dying?Oh goodness OP, I'm so sorry. This sounds unimaginably hard, but I'll do my best to give you advice. Where I think the two of you should start is agreeing to listen to each other. You both get a turn to speak, and then the listener has to restate the speaker's argument until the speaker agrees. If you can repeat his argument back to him to where he agrees you understand, and he can do the same for you, I think that will be a giant step forward. A potential step after this would be to then ask fo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/24 02:23 AM |
| 10 | How to get over a really good ONS?Are you familiar with the term catastrophizing? Your husband is going to have sex with you thousands of times. You have decades to try new things and make each other feel good. Don't get so caught up in the problems of Future You that you neglect the present. Most of us suck at predicting our future problems anyway. What do you want right now? Are you happy with where you are in life today? What are your goals, how are you working towards achieving them? These lines of thinking will be much more… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/24 01:38 AM |
| 12 | Boyfriend defended domestic abuse (but has not been violent). Where to go from here?I think this list is absolutely spot on! I would like to add that for RPW looking for male-led relationships, it's important to be able to trust your man's judgement. By this, I mean that you admire how he comes to make his decisions, his thought process, how he forms his opinions. u/templilwitch, something that I kept in mind to help me vet was the understanding that I could only make one man happy for the rest of my life. Just one, despite all of the people out there who are looking for love. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/24 05:00 PM |
| 1 | How to be a Happy Human Being 101I have an easy time with that one since I have a husband and kids. I think social causes or religion might be other common examples. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/24 02:23 AM |
| 3 | How to be comfortable accepting money from boyfriend/future husbandIn your perfect world, say five years into the future, how would the two of you handle these situations? Do you want completely separate finances in a marriage? Do you want to never receive gifts? I would be wary of shooting yourself in the foot. Sometimes we're uncomfortable because something is new and unfamiliar. I get nervous driving to new stores and restaurants by myself with my kids. I make myself do it. It's never scary the second time around. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/01/24 06:04 PM |
| 1 | Boyfriend wants me wearing lingerie to clean.It’s his apartment too, so idk. I don’t pay rent. What does this mean? You not paying rent would suggest it's really only his place and that you are dependent on him for financial support and your basic needs. As such, this seems like a silly hill to die on, yes. If you came to him with a relatively small favor and he declined, how would you feel? Do you want a relationship where you give each other some level of courtesy, or would you prefer one where you are both more independent and don't rel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/01/24 04:18 AM |
| 19 | We Really Should STFULast week my husband did lots of things I would have preferred he didn't do. Some of which, I do think are legitimate grievances on my part. Then, a couple nights ago, our youngest didn't wake up until after 7am for the first time in a week. Suddenly, I found I didn't care about all the annoying things my husband did. I just wanted to have a good day together as a family, and was very productive. Sometimes STFU is the gift that keeps on giving. I would've just been beating a dead horse having a … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/01/24 04:06 AM |
| 3 | Deal Makers and Deal BreakersThink back to a moment when you knew you had a man's heart locked in. What did you do right? What was something that definitely went wrong? Let's discuss the personal deal makers and breakers that you've found pivotal in relationships. When I approached my now-husband about a relationship, I explained that I had the standard of no male friends, no private conversation with men, no expectation of privacy on my phone etc. I said I knew these standards were severe and wouldn't work for a lot of peo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/24 06:47 PM |
| 2 | Goals -- A RPW 2024 beginners guide on how to attain themThank you very much for answering my questions. Your comments as well as u/FastLifePineapple 's post have been really enlightening and inspiring to me. I think this is exactly the point in time that I needed to read these words to help me decide how to more forever. It means a lot. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/24 05:18 AM |
| 11 | How important is it for the man you want to marry to have a stable job?I absolutely wanted a man who was competent, intelligent, and reliable. I desperately wanted to be a SAHM and was willing to make hefty QoL sacrifices to get it. I found myself unattracted to men who choose doing something they loved over something that had the hall markers of a "good job". Harsh, I know, but I'm big into delayed gratification and I wanted someone with the same values as me: your twenties are for buckling down and working very hard, then the rest of your life is made exponential… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/24 05:07 AM |
| 1 | How to be a Happy Human Being 101Thank you very much for the kind words. I've read the Wikipedia page for The 8th Habit and have added the book to my reading list. I think I'll have a lot to gain from reading it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/24 04:55 AM |
| 2 | How to be a Happy Human Being 101I really appreciate you taking the time to share this excerpt. As someone who is attempting to build a small business around supporting and showcasing the creativity of other young women, this is especially valuable to me. I recently spoke to a couple of old friends and was surprised to see that their lives had barely progressed. I am concerned watching people I know just...stagnate. Any obstacle in the way of their stated goal is enough to stop them in their tracks. I don't understand what diff… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/24 03:35 AM |
| 7 | Aging Gracefully or Do I Need SkincareAs you mention nursing, I would recommend you avoid most skincare products. Check every label - I've purchased skincare products that say in the fine print to consult a physician if pregnant or breastfeeding. Post breastfeeding, my brief dive into r/SkincareAddiction has taught me that sunscreen + vitamin c serum + retinol cream is pretty much all you need in the morning. I just do the sunscreen on the days I'm leaving the house right now until my own kiddo is weened. I advise you spend your tim… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/01/24 10:03 PM |
| 3 | How to be a Happy Human Being 101I agree that serving others, particularly our spouse, can be a great source of joy. I'm unsure if, at least for me, this might fall under the "satisfaction" or "purpose" categories. I am religious, but to put it in secular terms, I believe that marriage is a lifelong responsibility with the goal to bring out the best possible version of my spouse. This, alongside raising children, are my greatest purpose in life. I have others, but little else I would live for/die for. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/01/24 08:33 PM |
| 2 | Goals -- A RPW 2024 beginners guide on how to attain themIs there such a thing as too big of a goal, or does the trouble only come from being too vague/not establishing SMART goals? I have an acquaintance who only sets BHAG goals (like being the best in the world at a hobby, or having a six pack) and fails to meet them every time. I don't even know if he's even doing better than average on a lot of them. I originally thought that a lot of his problem was setting too big goals and then he's technically failed no matter how well he does. I have my own B… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/01/24 07:36 PM |
| 7 | Goals -- A RPW 2024 beginners guide on how to attain themThis is such a helpful guide! I wouldn't have thought to utilize AI assistants for SMART goals but it makes total sense. I'm going to give this a try. My husband shared a quote with me recently, saying "humans tend to overestimate what they'll accomplish in a year, and underestimate what they'll accomplish in twenty years". I thought this was interesting. In the present day, I can get caught up in wanting to accomplish different things, juggle more balls. I've found however, that when I reflect … | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/01/24 09:53 PM |
| 2 | I Asked My Husband to Pay Me a $1 an Hour to CleanOh thank you! I agree it's a big peculiar, but I was hoping to show the thought process of "what does my partner want, how can I motivate myself to happily give it" and maybe inspire some others to apply the same line of thinking to their own relationships. I'm flattered you would give the post a star! That means a lot. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/01/24 09:34 PM |
| 2 | Looking for hard truthAre you on medication for the BPD? | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/01/24 02:48 AM |
| 5 | My husband makes over 400k a year, I dont work and we split all the choresContrary to what you stated, I feel like you are an example of a lot of RPW endorsed concepts! You sound like you would vibe with a lot of Laura Doyle wisdom in particular - she is also childless, endorses vulnerable communication and little drama, and focuses on how womanly it is to receive from your man. Here's some concepts I think you're displaying here: Goddess of Light and Fun You sound like you bring much needed positivity, joy, and love to your husband's life! There are many ways to offe… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/01/24 04:31 PM |
| 7 | What do you consider rich and what do you consider wealthy?Rich/wealthy: Able to solve problems with money (unexpected expenses are not a source of stress, burn out can be comfortably combatted with discretionary spending) Could comfortably retire when they choose, ie employment is a choice and not a necessity Passive income can cover monthly expenses Essentially, one has gotten to the point where money works for them instead of them working for money. Also curious about what you all are looking for in terms of salary. I was looking for someone who coul… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/01/24 11:18 PM |
| 1 | Where to find affordable traditional clothing?Good luck! This and this are examples of things I find on AliExpress that I like. Pay no attention to the sale, there's always a sale on everything. It's a marketing tactic I guess. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/01/24 03:14 PM |
| 1 | Where to find affordable traditional clothing?Might be unpopular but I tend to like sites like AliExpress. I'll get something cute for $20 and I know it'll probably fall apart in a few years but I get sick of my stuff fast anyway. Shein is one I've heard of that's also low quality, cheap, but very cute looking stuff. You can try in-person boutiques. January and June/July are semi-annual sales for a lot of places. They need to clear inventory for the next season. I picked up two sundresses last summer for about $20 apiece on clearance. They … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/01/24 05:59 AM |
| 7 | Confused about hobbies and vacations that provider high value men likeMy husband recently took me on a camping trip last year actually! We rented a cabin at a state park. Electricity, AC, shower. Very cozy. I don't see what's masculine about long walks looking at flowers and nature, sitting back while he kayaks us around a lake, and snuggling up by the fire at night. Doesn't have to be every trip, but camping/glamping is great for quality conversations and a mental refresh. Although, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it as much if we had gone when in the summer. In… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/01/24 05:54 AM |
| 2 | Got pregnant and shouted at husbandI don't think it's guaranteed he's cheating. Exhaustion will kill a libido, and it's hard to think of something more exhausting than triplets. Best not to assume, but I imagine you could start a conversation asking about his needs and how he's been faring and that would be received well. Vulnerability about how much you want to be intimate with him is your best bet. Laura Doyle would recommend softly touching him and saying something like "I miss you". | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/01/24 04:55 PM |
| 2 | Wishing that he provided moreIt may seem counterintuitive at first, as we all want help when we feel we most need it, but no one wants to help someone who can't help themself. If you have credit card debt but are spending lots on your birthday, buying gifts for others, and spending money on beauty products you don't have, you are a liability. People are reluctant to give money to beggars because they assume the beggars will spend it on drugs and alcohol and be in the same poor position tomorrow. You are giving off similar v… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/01/24 07:24 PM |
| 15 | How do you detach your emotional state from your partners?Keep Your Distance Most of us can get our heads sorted when we have some dedicated alone time for cooling down and decompressing. When I see my husband seeming exhausted or frustrated, I will ask "hey, would you like thirty minutes to yourself? I'd be happy to watch the kids until bedtime." If I'm feeling really worn out myself, I will still offer but make it clear I'll probably just be supervising the kiddos while the TV does the hard work. Absolve Yourself of Responsibility Your partner's prob… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/01/24 06:07 PM |
| 5 | My ex boyfriend (M25) wants me back (F25)Change isn't linear. I'm not saying people can't change, but that there will be both highs and lows. Steps forward, steps backward. I have a temper. I thought I had drastically improved by the time I got married, only to realize the temper comes right back when I'm overburdened and burnt out with childrearing. My temper isn't gone - all I accomplished was raising the bar on what triggered it, altering the frequency. I would expect the drug use and manipulation to return during difficult times in… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/01/24 04:31 PM |
| 1 | How to get over being pumped and dumped?Jesus, OP. I can't imagine. So much of our self-esteem is influenced by how others treat us/how we allow others to treat us. It makes sense you feel like crap about yourself, anyone would after something like this. You can look up what Jordan Peterson says about the lobster hierarchy. The basis of forming a long term relationship is the ability to make people happy, not limited to but including yourself. All you need to do right now (though it may seem like one of the hardest things to do) is to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/01/24 04:17 PM |
| 39 | Why is the answer to almost every relationship advice post on Reddit “leave them”?People advise the most drastic option because they don't have to live with the consequences and it makes them feel like they've given life-changing advice. People tend to overcorrect their problems. People have negativity biases where they'll weigh bad information more heavily. People forget they are reading about a stranger from an unreliable narrator. Most of us live in an individualistic culture. Reddit skews young and single. They might not know how else to fix the problem. People will give … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/24 08:32 PM |
| 29 | being afraid of coming off as a gold digger made me unable to receive, helpTurning down a request because you don't want to burden someone will often just read to them like outright rejection. I would be wary of punishing positive behavior. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/01/24 03:15 PM |
| 2 | How to RPW a controlling boyfriendBut why exactly does you being flirted with bother him? The underlying reason why this troubles him will help you to decide how best to respond. A woman who is agreeable and approachable to all will likely be seen as a liability to her partner. She will be a source of stress for him when he is not around. A woman who can discern who to be friendly to - and say, who will politely ignore men in DMs or single men out in public - will be much more appreciated. There have been crimes in my area recen… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/01/24 08:55 PM |
| 3 | How to RPW a controlling boyfriendAh yes, that explains much of the difference. Most of the hobby servers I'm in are predominantly female, and I stick to text. A lot of my interactions are semi-professional in nature. The times that I have done voice chats in male-dominated hobby servers, my husband was also present and we were very upfront about our couple status. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/01/24 02:16 AM |
| 6 | How to RPW a controlling boyfriendThere's a catch-22 to being agreeable. The more you can't stand your ground with him, the less he trusts you will be able to stand your ground against random men. A man's ideal is a woman who will be agreeable to him, but can be restored to protect his family (herself, their home, their kids) when he's not around. It sounds like he either doesn't have the data on how you treat other men, or he does and has decided you are too friendly for his liking. Rather than try to force you to change your b… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/01/24 01:39 AM |
| 2 | How to RPW a controlling boyfriendIt sounds like it's heavily server dependent then, perhaps? I've had an account for seven years now, three with a pfp of baby and me. Only one flirty DM I can think of. No flirtatious public interaction. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/01/24 01:24 AM |
| 3 | How to RPW a controlling boyfriendI personally think Discord is one of the least attention garnering social media sites, since you are only visible to those who are in the same discord groups as you, and you can turn off DMs from non-friends. The fact that this is Discord makes it weirder for me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/01/24 01:06 AM |
| 3 | Gift idea for HVMThere are tons of really nice board games out there for two people. There are "Legacy" versions of popular titles like Pandemic, Betrayal at House on the Hill where the board changes as you play through episodic scenarios. These are expensive, running in the $50-$100 range. I think planning outings based on his interests is fun. Maybe a car show? A murder mystery dinner? A classic movie showing at an artsy theatre? | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/01/24 08:29 PM |
| 3 | I dont like dating promiscous menI agree that porn is destructive for both men and women, and ideally no one would consume it. I have some religious opposition as well. I think there's a lot of great points in your second paragraph, a lot of great introspective questions. I found myself in one of the situations you described, where I was sure I wanted to be with my now-husband, then-boyfriend despite him confessing a porn addiction. He also had strong negative opinions about porn, and was going through great lengths to be sober… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/01/24 02:47 PM |
| 23 | Feeling down, What is the point of dating a man?It sounds like you are high in neuroticism per the Big 5 model - negative thoughts, anxiety, etc. I find the best way to combat intrusive thoughts like this is to channel it into positive action. Worried about losing your attractiveness? Go and do a pilates video off YouTube, whiten your teeth, shower, put on a face mask, paint your nails, etc. Worried about your partner losing interest? Come up with something to talk about, an activity to try together, perform an act of service, write a little … | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/24 10:17 PM |
| 11 | Bf doesn’t enjoy having sex with me? What am I doing wrong?I'm going to go against the grain here a bit and say it's not the porn. It's him, or what he's permitting the porn to do. My husband has a porn addiction. He was open about it from the beginning. I married him knowing it will always be a part of our life. He always, always, always is touching me. Complimenting me. Wanting to make me feel good. If your boyfriend has PIED, it could be a big source of anxiety for him and why he has trouble enjoying intercourse. Men feel incredible shame from not be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/24 05:13 PM |
| 2 | I dont like dating promiscous menThe scariest thing to me about the porn epidemic is that it's about to get much, much worse. Sex robots, virtual reality, AI writing and images. If we think men having trouble telling porn from reality now... A warning to others I believe the amount of men that regularly watch pornography in western countries is around 80%. This is a controversial and biased take of mine, but I believe the criteria could stand to shift regarding dating men who watch porn. I think it should go from "will he watch… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/24 04:55 PM |
| 2 | Was this inappropriate from fiance or is it in my head?I disagree it's unattractive to be insecure. It's not ideal, maybe, but nobody's perfect and most struggle from time to time. There are ways to bring insecurity to your partner that can make you seem cute. I believe what's most unattractive is lashing out due to insecurity. Making problems and inflicting pain on someone else due to it. Picture getting a cut on your finger. Do you think your partner would like it more if you made a sad face and sweetly asked for a bandaid, or if you accused him o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/24 04:43 PM |
| 14 | Was this inappropriate from fiance or is it in my head?I would straight up tell your fiance thst you are too insecure about your looks to handle hearing him compliment another woman. No sense in feeling like you should be able to take it and then these things hurting you both. I have found that the men who have cared me often find honesty and vulnerability endearing. I will go to my husband and say things like "I'm insecure about my appearance. I desperately want you to find me beautiful. I'm worried about what happens if you find another girl prett… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/24 12:35 AM |
| 3 | Should fat women date?Date when you have the ability to make people happy, not limited to but including yourself. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/24 12:16 AM |
| 9 | 25(F) dating with stretchmarks, potential tummy tuck scarI have some faded stretch marks on my thighs and hips, due to being a low weight when I started puberty. If my husband is to be believed, some men strongly associate them with womanhood and can find them charming. Can't say I see what he sees, but I'm grateful he feels this way. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/01/24 09:08 PM |
| 14 | I dont like dating promiscous menI think it is a bit different for men, most men seem to assume that any woman can get casual sex if she was looking for it. Therefore, a woman's ability to obtain a casual sex partner isn't regarded as an achievement to a man - they won't see her as more competent for it, only as lacking in discipline. I think the better dilemma for men is purity versus frigidity. The ideal for men seems to be a woman who is inexperienced but willing to indulge her man completely, frequently, and enthusiasticall… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/01/24 02:52 AM |
| 11 | I dont like dating promiscous menMy husband had a very low amount of partners when we started dating. Before we got together, he was hit on or propositioned frequently yet rejected those women. Sometimes I think it might've been nice if he was a virgin like I was, but the social proof of his allure and his ability to turn sex down are much higher on my priority list than inexperience. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/01/24 12:20 AM |
| 28 | I dont like dating promiscous menI'm going to go out on a limb and claim that everyone prefers a long-term partner who has the ability to sleep around yet chooses not to. Competence and discipline. The thing is, a large amount of potential suitors won't have both these traits. So who do you pick? Someone competent enough to attract partners but lacking in self-control is a risky option because he threatens one's ability to feel secure. Someone not able to attract sex partners is also tricky because you risk not being attracted … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/01/24 10:01 PM |
| 3 | Feeling betrayed by RedPillWomen.Have you bought up to him that you don't feel desirable to him and feel like he is imagining others during sex/trying not to touch you? What does he say? | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/01/24 04:50 PM |
| 2 | The Curious Case of a Married Couple's Strange Interactions #1What's not to get? Some women like tsunderes. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/01/24 02:19 AM |
| 3 | 3 Act JourneyA bit off topic, but this reminds me of that graph that follows people's confidence in their abilities. Low ability - High confidence Moderate ability - Low confidence Expert ability - Mid-High confidence When confronted with setbacks and forced to confront all that we don't know, our confidence plummets to its lowest point. But if we pick ourselves up and keep learning, our confidence can be restored and our abilities will skyrocket. What's your take on this? Have you experienced any dark chapt… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/01/24 01:11 AM |
| 16 | Talking to first red pill guyThere are quite a few influential figures in the RP sphere, with Tate being among the most distasteful and controversial, so I would be cautious to assume he likes Tate. RP figures/followers can range from pick-up artists wanting to rack on ONSs to evolutionary psychologists to monogamous trad men wanting to understand their wife's mood swings and attraction decay. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/01/24 04:59 PM |
| 12 | Want kids but bf is poorIf you're very serious about having kids, I would try to save 100% of your income for awhile (or at the very least, drastically reduce how much you spend). Tell your boyfriend that you want to save up for L&D costs, or that you want to be prepared in case you aren't able to return to work quickly. Tell him that you want to get used to a new standard of living as a pragmatic thing to do before baby comes. People will need a selfish motivation to do something as drastic as leave their job for anot… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/01/24 03:38 PM |
| 25 | Men don't care about women with high body count if they are attractiveWhat would you say if I reversed your theory and said that women don't care about a man being faithful so long as the man has money? Men have multiple qualities they look for in a partner. Beauty tends to be towards the top of the list. Some will compromise for it, others might be willing to give up beauty for other things on the list. The ideal will always be to get as many of the qualities as possible. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/01/24 08:40 PM |
| 4 | Isn’t it better to have two incomes for one household?I’m an 18 yr old girl of a single family household with an income of 150k+ yet we still live paycheck to paycheck. We legit can’t afford to not have one paycheck come thru lol. Scary. We live in a MCOL area and our expenses are 50-60k annually. 2 kids. We save a fair bit. Husband's income right out of college was enough to live on, we did know it would grow significantly throughout his twenties. I think I'd be kinda hard pressed to find a job that wasn't too demanding and would cover daycare for… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/01/24 12:42 AM |
| 5 | Isn’t it better to have two incomes for one household?Starred member might be more accurate. ;) | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/01/24 12:32 AM |
| 5 | Am I red pill?I would specifically recommend JBP's interview with Louise Perry. Very, very good. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/01/24 05:34 AM |
| 2 | I Asked My Husband to Pay Me a $1 an Hour to CleanThank you! Yes, I think it can be so incredibly helpful to be intentional with our time and even our thoughts. My husband keeps notes of things that resonate with him and regularly revisits it. He says it's immensely helpful for his outlook on life. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/01/24 09:04 PM |
| 3 | What would you do?I would highly encourage securing your proof of substance abuse first, lest messages get deleted or whatnot. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/01/24 07:10 PM |
| 19 | What would you do?Put romance to the side for now. I don't have experience dating with kids or dating closer to thirty, so I don't want to get into how difficult a process that may be. Sort out child support and custody. You need legal help. You need to gather all the evidence of your husband's substance abuse issues, both for court and because he's related to a public figure and that could play out weirdly. Your kids leaving home is twenty years away. I encourage you to focus on giving them stability and peace n… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/01/24 01:32 AM |
| 3 | I Asked My Husband to Pay Me a $1 an Hour to CleanHonestly, not that much! I've only ever had two days over $3 in the past five months. Part of this is I tend to be strict about separating out the minutes spent grabbing the kids some toys or snacks or whatever. Tasks that took an hour might've only had thirty minutes of actual cleaning. And sometimes I can have a great day with the kids, check a whole bunch of stuff off the to-do list, and make a great meal only to realize that none of that stuff actually counted towards my numbers. Another par… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/12/23 08:42 PM |
| 5 | I Asked My Husband to Pay Me a $1 an Hour to CleanI've got a basic Excel spreadsheet going, one entry will look like this: Date | Time Spent on Task in 5 Minute Increments | Category My categories are surfaces, picking up, mopping, vacuuming, laundry, bathrooms, organizing, and deep cleaning. I'll write whatever the deep cleaning was specifically. Then in a separate column I add up the dates to find the total cleaning time per day. I calculate the average per month off of that for fun. I also have a formula that adds up the total of every clean… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/12/23 08:27 PM |
| 5 | in love with a narcissist?I hope you can start to accept the way you feel. It doesn't mean something is wrong with you that you miss someone you've been very close to for a long time. We bond with people in hard times. There's a term "trauma bond" where people can basically end up feeling bonded to those that have hurt them - a prostitute feeling closer to her pimp after being beaten by him because he drew her a bath and grabbed her some ibuprofen afterwards is an example. It totally makes sense for the brain to form att… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/12/23 04:53 AM |
| 2 | How do you inspire a man to provide?I think the difference between you two might be your perceived needs. Was she struggling to pay for her own schooling? Did she have a car, or was hers unsafe? Big difference in financial vulnerability between a student and something with a well-paying job. My own husband is completely happy to provide for all the necessities but wants to keep all discretionary spending low. He would rather save to ensure the money is there when we need it in the future. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/12/23 10:23 PM |
| 2 | Navigating the Leadership LandscapeI like your breakdown of different leadership styles! I wonder what your thoughts are on personality traits that would match these styles? Are there some you recommend more for RPW women than others? | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/12/23 02:33 AM |
| 1 | More betrayal, now what?Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. It could be wise to pull back a bit and direct your energy towards making yourself and your kids happy. Sometimes we try so hard to fix something, but it turns out that a happy wife and kids on its own can be a huge draw for a man wavering from his family. My mother is the type to fuss over everyone and try to fix things when she can sense someone is upset. I often wished growing up that she would've let me lie low, pull myself together, and rejoin people who wou… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/12/23 02:15 AM |
| 18 | Do men really enjoy providing or a coverup?My husband is the breadwinner but I wouldn't necessarily say he enjoys it. It's something he takes pride in, but it's a huge responsibility and he does it because he gets enough value from me for it to be worthwhile. The times in our relationship where I've slacked on my side, he becomes resentful. He's not a spender. He enjoys it when I'm very careful with his money and am very appreciative of how much he's given us. He wants to feel as though each dollar spent has provided value for us. He wan… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/23 06:28 PM |
| 2 | More betrayal, now what?I have a hard time recommending leaving to someone in a precarious financial situation with children. The first step I think you should consider is messaging back his family members to say something along the lines of "you're right, he is having a hard time and could use some support. I'd appreciate it if you would consider inviting him out for some quality time." Hopefully by pushing some of the responsibility for your husband's mood unto them, they either back off or step up. I would like you … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/23 05:58 PM |
| 6 | Do men really enjoy providing or a coverup?Thank you for this! Great understanding of RP theory. u/Chamomilemist can we get u/Cosima_Fan_Tutte a star please? | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/23 03:40 PM |
| 1 | His mom loves me! But she said he needs a leader…unsure of what to feel.I feel like his mom could be describing a more supportive role but then is slapping the leader title onto it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/23 04:33 AM |
| 1 | Does body count actually matter?My husband's previous LTR had a high number of sexual partners. He chose to overlook it at first but it ate at him. The relationship was tumultuous. My history was very low, and my behavior has always been very different. Hard to say whether the history or the behavior matters more, but in our case, they went hand in hand. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/23 04:12 AM |
| 1 | Man who is not leading and what to say?If you want to give a reason, I would suggest saying something along the lines of "I'm looking for someone who makes me feel safe and secure." Probably best to block before you receive a reply. But, I agree that not giving a reason is the safer option for you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/23 03:56 AM |
| 9 | Ladies, I wanted to get some objective advice on my current situation. II love this comment! u/Chamomilemist, can we get u/Astroviridae a star? OP, you can also check out a post I did awhile back on having young kids. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/23 07:05 PM |
| 7 | Is my bf right to refuse to tell me who he talks about our relationship to?Yeah I think OP might have better luck openly stating that she isn't comfortable with him talking about the ugly side of their relationship to a woman who isn't family - or whoever it is that she doesn't want him talking to - rather than asking for who it is. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/12/23 12:07 AM |
| 5 | More betrayal, now what?What's your financial situation? Do you have somewhere else to go? Would he pay child support? The percentage of parents who don't get the child support they were supposed to is depressing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/12/23 04:46 PM |
| 1 | How to maintain a RPW mindset with a newborn?I wrote a post about having littles awhile back. Co-sleeping did wonders for us. My husband wasn't a ton of help at night since we had EBF babies, no bottles. I kicked him out to the guest bed and he then helped me more during the day. I feel you. First few weeks can be an absolute nightmare, even without the feeding complications you have. You can absolutely get through it as a couple and will forget how you maybe didn't like each other all that much for a minute there... | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/23 07:53 PM |
| 2 | How should I respond when my partner insinuates I am involved with another man/cheating?Being defensive is something we do to make ourselves feel better after a perceived attack on our character. It's not something that will ever make the accuser feel better. You can't use facts and logic or whatever to defeat the bad feelings of the accuser. You have to fight bad feelings with good feelings, such as comfort or reassurance. "You're the only man that matters."/"Wait till you see what I got you for Christmas this year."/"Trying to get rid of me already? You're stuck with me, I'm afra… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/23 07:45 PM |
| 12 | Is this LDR a waste of my youth during my 20s?You've listed only negatives to staying and no positives, so... doesn't seem good. A lot of finding the right person is finding someone you can work to solve problems with. Someone you don't mind compromising for. If neither one of you will move for this hurdle, the rest of your life doesn't bode well. Do either of you plan to move anytime soon? | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/23 07:29 PM |
| 1 | My boyfriend comes from a wealthy family and now I don’t know what to get him for ChristmasMy family makes candy (English toffee, peppermint bark) around the holidays. Always nice. You could also invite him over for a homecooked meal. My husband only likes practical stuff for gifts. Protein powder, a dash cam, books he's mentioned before, etc. My sister once handmade me memorabilia from a video game I liked. If he has a Steam account, wishlists are usually public when you're friends. A co-op game might be fun (Overcooked is popular for couples, as is Stardew Valley). I once dated a gu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/23 06:42 PM |
| 7 | He goes out while I stay home with the baby but every time we discuss this I want to control himHe's staying out and smoking because of a need for escape. People won't give up their need for downtime but we can often be persuaded to change what the downtime is. For example, he plays video games for a few hours or something. I would recommend 'The Empowered Wife' book by Laura Doyle. I think someone had a post recently mentioning you could find the audio book on Spotify. I also wrote a post on having little kids awhile back. Kids are really heavy responsibilities and people often start trea… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/12/23 02:24 PM |
| 2 | A Definitive Guide to Nun Mode: Part I An IntroductionI love this guide! So much helpful information here. Self-improvement is so powerful. Not only does it help you reach your goals and feel more confident about yourself, but the knowledge that one is capable of changing their life for the best is so incredibly uplifting. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/23 07:35 PM |
| 2 | Do you believe that religion is a necessary part of being traditional?Then they have kids of their own, and they need you again. But yes, in general, I think we should expect to see a decline of traditional roles as the demands of kids lessen. Like how people divorce when the youngest kid ships off to college - so many parents will they say they stayed together for the kids. Not for God, or for society. Those are reasons we hear too, but they aren't the only ones and I don't believe they're as powerful as our kids. I know you didn't mean children, that's why I fou… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/23 11:54 PM |
| 2 | Do you believe that religion is a necessary part of being traditional?Hmm. I'm not sure I agree that pressure from family will inevitably crumble. I would argue that babies (and grandbabies and so on) are the biggest players in women being traditional - at least, willingly traditional. Babies are so innately desirable yet so, so demanding that I don't think they need assistance from God or culture to keep their mamas home and reliant on family. I would argue that most of society actually allows for women to have more options beyond the trad route. Even the Church … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/23 11:38 PM |
| 4 | Do you believe that religion is a necessary part of being traditional?Something that came up in a debate between a religious man and an atheist one, was that the religious man pointed out that the atheist man "still acted as if God exists". I don't know if I recall his words well enough to explain what he meant, but essentially, does one act to their conscience, does one act as though their actions still matter if there's no one around to witness, etc. People often act as though there is the possibility of a just higher power, even if they don't believe in one. Th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/23 10:46 PM |
| 7 | I am more successful than my boyfriend, and I resent itYou're very welcome. Laughter is super good for one's health. You aren't going to change mine! I believe it's helpful at times to tell people when they come across poorly. I think that's a big component to improving social skills. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/12/23 10:51 PM |
| 3 | How would you expect your husband or partner to treat you when you are sick?I hear you. You want to be able to understand his actions, as they have hurt you. I believe the best way to get someone to talk is to make them feel safe. You can judge his reasoning better then. But seeing as Astro encouraged me to look at your post history, it seems this issue with feeling disconnected and unloved extends into everyday life and not just when sick. I believe this situation is untenable. It sounds like you separate, or you find a different work arrangement. I've only worked a ha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/12/23 10:47 PM |
| 4 | How would you expect your husband or partner to treat you when you are sick?I'm not advising you to believe it because it's easy. I'm advising you to believe it because you are stating you want to feel close to your husband, that you want to feel valued by him and know that he is concerned for your well-being. If you greet him coldly the next time you see him, he is likely to respond defensively or coldly. If you treat him warmly, saying things along the lines of "I'm so glad you didn't get sick, it's been tough"/"I've really missed you lately"/ "I want to know how you'… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/12/23 10:19 PM |
| 1 | How would you expect your husband or partner to treat you when you are sick?Yeah I would assume he's doing what you asked - which is to check in when he can - and he can't right now. Something came up at work and he's dealing it best he can and trying not to trouble you with it. I've certainly been too maxed out to be able to listen and empathize with my husband at times. Now I'm not saying this is true. It certainly could be, but convincing myself to have positive assumptions often colors the way I speak to and think of my husband for the better. Our interactions becom… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/12/23 09:31 PM |
| 6 | I am more successful than my boyfriend, and I resent itWhenever I hear someone say this I infer they were/are irresponsible in their early twenties and are somehow trying to rationalize it. I have no desire to change the mind of someone who is trying to manipulate a subject as complex as neurology to assuage their ego, but perhaps it is of some interest to you to know it's not exactly a great look. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/12/23 09:11 PM |
| 10 | How would you expect your husband or partner to treat you when you are sick?Ask him for more. Request he pick up food on the way home for you to eat tomorrow. Do not clean his stuff until you feel better. Nothing is going to improve comparing your husband to others. The sickness bouts are the worst as a SAHM. :( | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/12/23 08:53 PM |
| 1 | ShopaholicI go through the credit card and bank statements every quarter and log all transactions. Helps to keep me focused on spending less. For you, I might recommend doing this monthly. To have a budget, it's helpful to know how much you're actually spending and how much of that was necessary. I shop baby stuff at resale shops only and wait for sale days. I save things I want/need to Amazon shopping lists and send them out to family for Christmas and birthdays. There's also the Dave Ramsey way of just … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/12/23 08:57 PM |
| 4 | Worried about potential red flag body countThe biggest concern I would have in your shoes would be my anxiety over the other women and how I measure up. I'm competitive. I want to be my husband's best - in everything. Bringing up things I was anxious about allowed me to see how much comfort he could provide me. His dedication to our relationship and his kind words towards me have helped me feel at ease. He doesn't befriend women or text them. I'm not trying to say your boyfriend needs to do these same things. But see if you can bring him… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/12/23 08:52 PM |
| 6 | Is it wrong of me to expect my older boyfriend to teach me about "adult things"Women can certainly be competent at traditionally feminine things like cooking, cleaning, household management, social skills, and childrearing. Men will only want to pass those tasks into someone who can perform them at an acceptable level. I would argue that household finances are the responsibility of both men and women. Women are typically the ones who are buying things for the house and kids. Men talk about not wanting women who will be irresponsible with their money all the time. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/23 02:24 PM |
| 6 | You are a nice girl but…My personal take on this is that you may be showing an abundance of qualities that are positive long-term and not enough that are positive in the short-term. Humans want it all. We want the emotionally mature, responsible person for the years to come AND the fun, vibrant, enthusiastic person alongside us today. I would maybe focus on expressing more positivity (gestures of affection, smiling and laughing, etc) or actively engaging in your next partner's hobbies. If you can add "fun" alongside "n… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/12/23 07:59 PM |
| 2 | What are some YouTuber content creators that you enjoy watching?I like the Maiden Mother Matriarch podcast. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/12/23 07:48 PM |
| 3 | Do you ever get offended when certain men think they stand a chance with youI think it might help to change your assumption of their expectations. Part of what's upsetting you is that you think that they think they have a reasonable shot. I think a lot of men go into it thinking "I have nothing to lose". Almost like a lottery ticket. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/12/23 04:57 PM |
| 3 | I'm a widow. I've been single and celibate for 16 years. I've only been with 2 men.A woman having a low amount of sexual partners/practicing abstinence is a long term benefit and a short term loss. The flip of this is how men spend money - to be frugal is for long term benefit, to spend is for short term benefit. Women often want both, but these frequently conflict. We all want partners who can make us happy now as well as later. We can all be a bit irrational about it at times. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/12/23 03:38 PM |
| 6 | Feeling unwanted sexually and not sure anymore how to approach itwanting the truth on why we don’t have sex, You mentioned a daughter. Any chance her mother is still around and you could have a conversation? no financial way to support myself I'm assuming this is for citizenship? I recommend trying to get on babysitting/nannying sites. Safe jobs where people are happy to pay under the table and you don't need much in terms of qualifications. I'm happy to lend an ear. It's a really tough position where you can't communicate with your partner. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/12/23 09:25 PM |
| 5 | Feeling unwanted sexually and not sure anymore how to approach itBut he said no that’s not the case he is attracted to me but I feel like his dick says otherwise. I agree this is a case where actions matter more than words. Regardless of what's going on with him, we can be confident that he is not capable of (or not willing to) making you feel desired in your current state. You mentioned in another comment that he likes porn of petite girls. I don't know your weight, but let's pretend for a minute that if you lost weight and became more his type, that your si… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/12/23 08:17 PM |
| 14 | Feeling unwanted sexually and not sure anymore how to approach itThis is very bizarre. It sounds like he is not attracted to you. How is the touching and kissing outside of the bedroom? What is his response if you ask for oral or fingering? | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/12/23 02:51 PM |
| 8 | Different interests - RPW approachSomething I've learned in marriage is that while you can often make the other act out of obligation, you can't make them act out of desire. You have to make your peace with the idea that he might never truly enjoy these things. It sounds like he is willing to participate to make you happy some of the time, and that is a gift I hope you can accept. The best way to get him to enjoy the experience is to tell him how important it is to you, have a wonderful time, and then thank him so much for joini… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/12/23 10:06 PM |
| 3 | “Beta Batman”I love the nuance in this comment. u/Chamomilemist, can we give her a star please? | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/12/23 09:14 PM |
| 1 | Should I (f18) let my bf (m18) go clubbing?I think there's a difference between what we believe and what others agree with and accept. I think he understands this. But I agree it depends on what his belief is. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/12/23 04:27 PM |
| 5 | Should Women Defend their Men from Feminists who Call them Misogynists for wanting Traditional Wives?I said that he should hold firm and display to his visitors how his household works – that his wife does the cooking and cleaning up as a loving act of submission to him to demonstrate a healthy, good and loving traditional relationship. I disagree strongly. When inviting guests over, being a good host to them is a bigger priority than displaying our adherence to gender roles. If one host stays with the guests while the other washes up, that's perfectly fine. If it'll make the guests uncomfortab… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/12/23 04:24 PM |
| 1 | Should I (f18) let my bf (m18) go clubbing?This would be an example of double standards, not of being a hypocrite. If his belief is that these activities are more dangerous for women and ones in relationships shouldn't engage, he is very much acting in accordance with his beliefs. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/12/23 02:08 PM |
| 2 | Withholding Premarital Sex Age 40+Wow, blows my mind to see crossover. My husband is really into FIRE! We hope for him to retire before 50. Thanks for being an integral part of that subreddit. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/12/23 07:48 PM |
| 2 | Should I (f18) let my bf (m18) go clubbing?I dislike when people make issues like this as solely about whether or not you trust them not to do something abhorrent. My partner keeps my trust by avoiding things that could lead down a bad path. I wouldn't trust anyone who thinks they can walk right up to a line and not cross it. But this is also about respect. I know you could guarantee my husband that I would never flirt with other men and he would still find it embarrassing if I was going out to bars and clubs. Making a LTR work when you'… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/12/23 03:17 PM |
| 3 | My (20F) boyfriend (26M) cant let go of my past but doesn’t break upI have taken accountability on my mistakes, I removed all guys from my social media, took down promiscuous pics, removed whoever tried to flirt with me I'm curious whether he requested these things before you did them? Sometimes people fall into a trap of suspecting a gesture isn't genuine if they had to ask for it. Like a woman who doesn't quite feel loved if she had to ask her husband for flowers on Valentine's Day. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/12/23 04:24 PM |
| 1 | Something strange and inexplicable I have observed about TRP, MGTOW, Manosphere, etc.Except for MGTOW and/or Manosphere/TRP. There are basically no women at all. There's a documentary called The Red Pill that's done by a female journalist. | /r/TheRedPill | 03/12/23 03:59 PM |
| 2 | How to make HIM the leader - not you - fast!The second point was actually my favorite! A big way to bring value to a relationship is to know how to take care of oneself. It's a beautiful thing when a support takes care of the leader, and vice versa. But especially when a couple takes on large amounts of responsibility, it can be a lifesaver for a captain to trust that a first mate can function independently for short bursts of time while he tackles other challenges. Looking out for the health of the team when the team is larger than two m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/12/23 09:23 PM |
| 4 | I’m a virgin (saving myself for marriage) but my boyfriend has had 3 sexual partners before and it makes me sadgenerally speaking, men tend to have higher body counts than women. I think sexually active men have more partners on average than sexually active women, but men are also much more likely to not be sexually active. In other words, you have more men at the extremes and more women in the middle. you aren't paying attention if you don't know that men are praised for sex and women are shamed I would like us to keep in mind as well that men are shamed for a lack of sex and women are praised for a lac… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/23 08:44 PM |
| 2 | Stay at home wife but don’t want kids?We get commenters from all sides of the redpill/bluepill aisle and plenty more who are still very new to the RPW community. Look for starred or EC contributors in particular, and use your best judgement to filter out the unhelpful criticisms. We see hate comments on even the most wholesome of posts. Just part of doing business on the internet. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/23 04:48 PM |
| 20 | I’m a virgin (saving myself for marriage) but my boyfriend has had 3 sexual partners before and it makes me sadFirst off, I think it's understandable that if you see virginity as this gift worth sacrificing for, you might feel disappointed that your partner did not place the same weight on it. And that while it's perfectly understandable to be sad his first time isn't with you, I wouldn't let that spiral into assuming his feelings and fearing the worst. I think it can be important to remember that gift giving is most effective when done without placing an expectation on the receiver. It's not in good pra… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/23 04:31 PM |
| 3 | Stay at home wife but don’t want kids?It helps if his family can witness the ways you provide value. I'm a SAHM so it's very different, but I went into family raising right after college so sometimes I have similar anxieties. I like to cook for people frequently, and I manage our social calendar. His family has an easier time getting to see him now. I threw his grandmother a birthday party when she didn't feel up for going out. She loved that party. It was mentioned by other family members several times at her memorial. Events like … | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/23 02:42 PM |
| 1 | Am I right to think it’s not worth dating being 29F & having not experienced a LTR yet?I don't believe marriage is for everyone per se, but I believe now would be the time it would be the easiest to be single. If you were to change your mind, now still in your late twenties would be the best time to do it. In our twenties, it seems like every door is open to us. As we age, more and more will close. Make sure you're on a path you won't regret down the line. You have hundreds of thousands of hours left in your life. Marriage would soak a lot of those up. I don't see betting one's li… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/23 03:47 AM |
| 9 | Male coworker flirts with meI assume it's because the man in question is OP's superior. Confrontation could result in work life becoming much more unpleasant and OP mentioned she wouldn't be able to be transferred. It's unlikely the man will be fired for anything mentioned here, and most people don't like being rejected. | /r/RedPillWives | 29/11/23 07:31 PM |
| 1 | Advice for young girls seeking commitmentI don't know if it's just the circles I run in (white, nerdy, middle to upper middle class, southern), but I have known significantly more men in their early twenties who want to get married than women. I only hang out with super introverted homebodies like myself though, so I wonder if introversion has a fair bit to do with being ready for marriage earlier. My husband proposed when we were 20 - I view it as a mix of him desiring marriage someday and then me really working to impress him and fit… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/23 07:20 PM |
| 30 | Dealing with husbands blindnessFirst off, I'm sorry that this has happened and have absolutely no idea how devastating this must be. I imagine it'll take some time to come to terms with what has been lost. As silly as it sounds, I always took great pride in my looks and it breaks my heart that they're useless now. I feel like I have little to no qualities to offer him besides my looks. I don't know how I can be attractive to him now that my main quality is useless. We think of beauty as visual but it can also be scent and tou… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/11/23 03:12 AM |
| 3 | Do I marry this man for stability as a single mom?I want you to reframe how you see discipline. Don't think of it as a character trait you lack. Think of it as a muscle you haven't trained. You're not weak because you're incapable - you're weak because you don't "work out" your self-control. You can start training your discipline through any number of actions - but hygiene, diet, sleep, exercise, and cleanliness are all great places to start. Pick a small improvement, such as five minutes of picking up around the house, and do that for a week o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/11/23 03:09 AM |
| 2 | Sex is truly the key 🔐Depends on how often your support circle helps with the childcare and how loud/long your sex is. Husband and I are maybe 3-4 times a week but typically the low-intensity, snuggly stuff. A lot of the time other needs, like sleep, take priority. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/23 11:38 PM |
| 7 | Do I marry this man for stability as a single mom?It sounds like you already know that if your priority is stability for your son, marrying this guy and moving across the country isn't the move. Here's my two cents on where I think you should go from here: Find a new way to relive your stress. I think you know that partying and casual sex are destructive behaviors. But clearly it brings some positive, otherwise you wouldn't engage. Swap these out for getting a pedicure/massage, eat at a cute cafe, go to the movies, get some trashy romance novel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/23 09:06 PM |
| 9 | Do I marry this man for stability as a single mom?Read the side bar for what this sub is about, ie. sexual strategy to secure happy, successful LTRs. You're confusing this sub with others like r/marryrich, r/Vindicta, or FDS. You're thinking more of "pinkpill" advice in which women are encouraged to pursue relationships with a transactional foundation. "Bluepill" advice is often thought of as romantic ideals or empty platitudes. "Marry him, he sounds great and attraction/sex life isn't very important" might be more along those lines. Redpillwom… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/23 07:59 PM |
| 1 | Restarting my life to save my marriageHey OP, I loved reading your post and seeing your commitment to your family and admiration for your husband. u/Chamomilemist, can we get her a star? A book I'd like to recommend is M is for Mama by Abbie Halberstadt. She's very Christian but I saw an interview with her on The Spillover podcast and thought her parenting advice was lovely and nuanced. I also really like the Maiden Mother Matriarch podcast. And for fiction, I loved the Love So Life manga series and a k-drama called Touch Your Heart… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/11/23 05:16 PM |
| 11 | Sex is truly the key 🔐Think of the Maslows hierarchy of needs triangle. Meeting the most basic needs is huge, and we're all permanently happier with our base physical needs met, but then our focus almost immediately turns to securing the next level. My husband is very happy with our sex life. Our relationship problems focus on other things that we're not doing so well. I wouldn't consider making our sex life worse so that that becomes the problem to fix. Just gotta keep moving up on the needs triangle and hope we eve… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/11/23 05:06 PM |
| 6 | Sex and spending time together…I hate to armchair diagnose, but being exhausted despite full nights of sleep and snoring are big sleep apnea signs. Sleep apnea happens I believe when your brain isn't getting enough oxygen while you sleep and you can't rest properly. It's something a cpap machine can fix. Anecdotally, my dad snores and got nose strips to help. He says he also sleeps better as a result. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/11/23 04:52 PM |
| 7 | Sex and spending time together…What time does he wake up in the morning? Sleep apnea might be on the table. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/23 07:47 PM |
| 21 | It’s possible to fall in love twice with the same man?You want to read The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle. The book will help you pull back and invest some of your time and energy in yourself, resulting in you being a happier, more enjoyable person for your partner to be around as well as being easier to please. You're not the same girl you were five years ago. For one thing, your expectations of his behavior are different. Your resentment levels are different. Your attitude towards investing in the relationship is different. Even though you've kept… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/23 11:47 PM |
| 4 | Is it better to invest on a Masters Degree or Plastic Surgery?RMV is "relationship market value" and SMV is "sexual market value". A very brief description: RMV would be qualities that make you attractive in a LTR and SMV would be qualities that would make you attractive for a ONS. The market value part is there to remind us that male selection is competitive and we are being compared to the other women/men that are in our partners' social circle. RMV - tends towards emotional traits like kindness, agreeableness, poise, understanding, etc. SMV - tends towa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/23 08:23 PM |
| 22 | Is it better to invest on a Masters Degree or Plastic Surgery?Great questions. I know over at r/Vindicta they will not recommend "hard-maxxing" activities like plastic surgery until a woman is at a healthy BMI and has done a fair bit of "soft-maxxing" which are non-invasive procedures like make-up, diet, exercise, teeth whitening, clothes, etc. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/23 08:11 PM |
| 3 | Is it better to invest on a Masters Degree or Plastic Surgery?They care if you can cook, take care of a house, run the finances for a house, and raise children. These are qualities that are attractive long-term, and help to make up one's RMV. Men also consider your SMV, which are what make you attractive now/in the short-term. How heavily a man will consider your SMV and RMV depends on his goals and values, but it would be an extreme case for a man to neglect one category altogether. It's healthy to take both the present and the future into consideration w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/23 08:07 PM |
| 2 | How can I have him understand that he hurt me without “nagging”I think what OP is saying is that it's not the mistake, but the lack of atonement that's really bothering her. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/23 04:50 AM |
| 1 | Monk Mode and raising SMV?Oh my gosh. I have no experience dating at 40 or in NYC, so I'd like to refrain from giving advice, but I am so sorry for your loss. That's awful. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/11/23 10:00 PM |
| 3 | How do I start dating?I'm going to point you to the Healthygamergg YouTube channel. Dr. K has a lot of videos aimed at building social skills and self-improvement. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/11/23 09:53 PM |
| 4 | Where do we go from hereHard to know exactly what to tell you to say because I don't want to encourage you to do something that he takes as overstepping and cause conflict that doesn't produce anything other than discontent. My brain isn't working 100%. But if you encouraged him to post about investing in r/personalfinance, he'd be pushed to fully fund your Roth IRA and his Roth IRA as the next step in investing. You can contribute up to $6k a year (might actually be 6.5k as of 2023), and he can put an additional 6k in… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/11/23 11:23 PM |
| 2 | What is your Preference for Male Body Type?Toned I guess? Is that lean + muscular? My husband is 5'11, 155 pounds or so. His biceps are large and he looks fantastic shirtless. I did see a picture of him when his exercise/diet was at its peak and that was even nicer, but I'm a very lucky woman now. I'm a sucker for prominent forearm veins. I've never been attracted to any man the way I am to him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/11/23 09:26 PM |
| 1 | Advice on building female friendshipsWhat are your hobbies? | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/11/23 09:12 PM |
| 5 | Is my(22f) boyfriend(25m) too comfortable?I'm not understanding the initial issue. Could you not have gone after you walked the dog? How did the conversation go when you cancelled plans? Did you apologize? | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/11/23 09:07 PM |
| 9 | Damaged sex lifeI have not been in your situation, but something that helps me gain enthusiasm in the bedroom and to overcome mental blocks is simply to roleplay. I come up with situations to act out and then I consistently remind myself to feel how my character would feel. It's been a very helpful practice for me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/11/23 09:01 PM |
| 4 | Where do we go from hereHow does he feel about retirement accounts? HSA, IRA, 401k? | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/11/23 08:50 PM |
| 2 | Tips for getting ready quicklyPeople really really like balance, so if presented with an issue where the man is being more troublesome, there's a huge temptation to write him off as a bad partner. I get it, I see it in the reverse as well. But I've been married for a bit now, and I know that while there are areas where my husband is a big pain, there are roughly as many where I'm a big pain. I work with him because he works with me, and vice versa. It's balanced when you have the whole picture, but impossible to see if you o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/23 06:48 PM |
| 2 | Tips for getting ready quicklyHey OP, I want to recap here. The proposed solution this thread has come up with that you're most interested in are: Trying a new type of shampoo that will help your hair be less oily Trying a new type of dry shampoo that isn't aerosol/won't leave a film Trying laser hair removal Trying an all-in-one razor You have also suggested you might move out of the master bedroom during the weeknights. I think this is a pretty good list. A couple things I'd like to add are trying to do things like shaving… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/23 06:06 PM |
| 6 | Regarding Body Count and not being a VirginThe bigger concern than the number is the speed. I might be remembering incorrectly, but I thought you were completely inexperienced a little over a year ago? I'm concerned you've started a spiral of self-destructive behavior. Sometimes when we fall short of our standards for ourselves, we feel so discouraged we want to throw the standards out altogether. Then, we feel even crappier because we've totally fallen off the wagon and are so far from where we started it feels impossible to get back. I… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/11/23 07:23 PM |
| 6 | Tips for getting ready quicklyAny chance you could upgrade your security system and get nanny cams or whatever and have you be on watch overnight while he gets ear plugs and whatnot? What could you change to where he would be comfortable just focusing on sleeping? I have a hard time seeing how your current arrangement can be tenable long-term. If I were in your shoes, I would see what I could now but negotiate that he does something differently next time when problems arise in the future. You're going to stumble into toddler… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/11/23 06:30 PM |
| 7 | Tips for getting ready quicklyI might look into CBD. He sounds very anxious, and it can help with that and poor sleep. My husband takes it and all I can really tell is that he's in a slightly better mood. My mom is a bit like your husband: very anxious and also a very light sleeper. She's also very productive, but things can be difficult. It seems a bit silly, but what if you guys got two twin mattresses and pushed them 1-2 inches apart? | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/11/23 04:42 PM |
| 7 | Tips for getting ready quicklyThat might be part of the problem. It seems to me like him going to bed 30 minutes earlier and waking up with you is a practical solution. Always putting your hair up in a bun (they sell hair care items that streamline and perfect this) could be another. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/11/23 03:42 PM |
| 14 | How can I have him understand that he hurt me without “nagging”Have you tried reflecting on if there was something you did to hurt or upset him, and opening with an apology about that? Starting a conversation by putting 100% of the responsibility on him isn't likely to go well. The only times I haven't done something to contribute are if my husband is just having a terrible day outside of our relationship and in those situations you just stay out of their way. I also suck when I'm stressed with my own stuff or tired/sick/hungry and my husband accepts that. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/11/23 02:27 PM |
| 1 | Advice wantedI'm glad you guys talked! This leaves me feeling hopeful. This is a communication issue then. You're sending a message, and it's not being received the way you intended. You can work with your husband to find a way you can phrase your bids for emotional connection so that he'll hear you and understand. This is great. If you walk away thinking "I can be more direct with saying I want comfort" and he can walk away thinking "I could learn to read between the lines more" then I believe you guys will… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/10/23 12:48 PM |
| 4 | The “girlfriend effect”I'm often told I dress very nicely. I don't intend to dress nicely per se, but the clothes I like and feel comfortable in happen to be blouses, dresses, high-waisted skirts, etc. My husband is more of a t-shirt and jeans guy. I don't care much what he wears, he's incredibly attractive and I'm very proud to walk next to him no matter what. People do not often tell him he dresses nicely. He has expressed an interest in upgrading his style into something a bit more formal over the years, getting in… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/10/23 01:47 AM |
| 4 | Do you ever feel bad about using red pill tactics?Lovely comment! u/Chamomilemist, can we give u/Leosandlattes a star for this? | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/10/23 01:18 AM |
| 5 | My boyfriend asked for a 50-50 split on the tripI empathize with being a romantic and imagining things playing out a certain way and then getting to the point of not wanting the experience at all of it's not going to play out the way you want. If I were in your shoes, I would communicate that it would make me feel so happy and taken care of for him to provide the funds for the trip. In return, I would offer to 1) pay for more dates 2) cook instead of going out on dates or 3) ask for this to be my Christmas present. Trade something of monetary… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/10/23 12:21 AM |
| 6 | How to ask men for beauty money?I don't see any harm in making a list of things you want and sharing it when special occasions arise. I'd say that there's things you really really want for Christmas that you can't afford. I know my man considers it a win when I can just tell him specifics on what to get me as a gift. I would keep researching skincare and such until you have the cheapest way to get what you want. I've heard Vitamin C serum, retinol cream, and sunscreen are really all you need from r/skincareaddiction, for examp… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/10/23 12:07 AM |
| 2 | Advice wantedWhen I read your post, I think of that whole thing where men are problem-solvers and women want to feel understood/listened to/empathized with. My take on this is that when you shared "his lip is bleeding", your husband heard the problem as "my sons lip is bleeding", and solved that issue with a practical solution. I believe if you said something that stated the problem as emotional instead of physical, "our son is feeling scared, he fell down", the solution your husband might have come up with … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/23 10:36 PM |
| 2 | Tips for Mismatched Humor?I wouldn't worry too much about posting too frequently, I personally enjoy reading your comments and am rooting for you. I'm worried my personal opinions and biases will leech out in my comments to your posts in an unhelpful and deconstructive way. I'll do my best to be thoughtful with my wording. I hope the advice you find here helps you and improves your life. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/23 10:23 PM |
| 4 | Update: I need to fix my marriage, I don’t want to lose my familyWhat I took his comment to mean was that he wasn't feeling "in love" with you at the moment, not that he no longer cares for you. Regardless, I understand that it can be hard to motivate yourself if you feel like all the work ahead will just get you back to where you were years ago. I really struggle with negative motivation personally; the thought of having to regain my partner's love would put me off. I would try to believe instead that you're working on taking your marriage to a new level of … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/23 04:12 AM |
| 7 | Tips for Mismatched Humor?From the jokes described, I disagree with his take that this is stemming from a left-leaning view. I am quite right-leaning and it would make me incredibly uncomfortable. My personality is very agreeable per the Big 5 model, and I rank high on the politeness aspect. Perhaps you are the same? Some people just get off on saying what they shouldn't say - regardless of whether or not they mean it. My husband made jokes about my looks when I was pregnant, which I found very funny, and it was also a b… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/10/23 02:45 PM |
| 7 | I asked my ex for economic compensation for the time he wastedI agree. I also think this is an easy way for the ex to feel like he made up for what he did. Negates the need for self-reflection after losing what they had. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/10/23 06:36 PM |
| 15 | I’m a formerly poor woman who married into extreme wealth. AMA!Congrats OP! I think it's amazing that you went out and achieved what you wanted in life. I'm glad you are fulfilled and have a loving family. I wish you many more happy years. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/10/23 09:40 PM |
| 9 | I need to fix my marriage, I don’t want to lose my family.I would start there. Something I've discovered to be true is that the primary person who is going to help you and make you happy is you. So many people are struggling just to handle their own day, even your spouse will not be able to drag you through yours. Something else I've discovered is that people will help if you act in a way that makes them want to help you. You have to motivate them. This requires a bit of learning to understand how our husbands operate and what they respond positively t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/10/23 09:17 PM |
| 11 | I need to fix my marriage, I don’t want to lose my family.Have you read either the Empowered Wife or the Surrendered Wife from Laura Doyle? | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/10/23 09:04 PM |
| 2 | Your favourite book!Love The Siren by Kiera Cass for fiction - but it has to be the original version and not the revamped one. The revamped one has a cover with a girl in a golden dress and the original has a girl with more of a swimsuit wrap thing on. It's really the only portrayal of a young woman's love that really clicked with me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/10/23 04:35 PM |
| 3 | WWLDD? What would Laura Doyle do?Yeah, I think that sounds best. There's also r/surrendered_wife if you want to try there? | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/10/23 03:06 PM |
| 2 | Books for raising girls with a more traditional focus?I also recommend the Little House on the Prairie series, as well as Heidi and Anne of Green Gables. When I was older I got into anime/manga. Fruits Basket is exceptional. Love so Life is also very very sweet. I don't know how educational you consider fiction books but finding these characters to emphasize with and relate to was very powerful. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/23 06:13 PM |
| 4 | Stressed out stay at home mom needing marriage adviceI'd like to give you a star for your comments throughout this thread. u/Chamomilemist, can you help me out? | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/23 05:39 PM |
| 6 | WWLDD? What would Laura Doyle do?Oh, it absolutely is! Criticism, even when constructive, is incredibly demotivating. Destructive moments like this are so hard. Has he gotten in a mood like this before? How does it resolve? Are you looking for ways to make things go better? | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/23 03:49 PM |
| 15 | WWLDD? What would Laura Doyle do?LD says that underneath every criticism is a true desire. I would try to see what his is. It sounds like he's struggling with feeling financially stable? | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/23 02:49 PM |
| 3 | Green flags in a guySomeone who accepts responsibility, and fixes his mistakes. I couldn't live with someone who couldn't accept fault when we're reconciling or something. But part of why I find this attractive is because I'm very self-critical. I don't think I'd work with someone who wasn't the same way. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/23 04:18 AM |
| 5 | Stressed out stay at home mom needing marriage adviceI've totally been there with struggling with little kiddos(and still am). I wrote a post with some tips I've picked up over the years. I'll write up some of the new ideas I've been working on if this post resonates with you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/23 04:11 AM |
| 3 | Have you noticed whether it hurts/helps you if you have a career?There are definitely ways to challenge someone's thoughts without coming across as argumentative to the other person. It can be a bit of a tightrope walk to learn, but knowing how to communicate your ideas while still coming across as respectful is a very nice skill to have. Men will highly value a woman with insightfulness, provided she knows how to share it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/10/23 04:37 AM |
| 1 | My boyfriend says he wants varietyI think at least some of the downvotes were because some people missed the sarcasm of the initial comment. Vainglory seemed to respond seriously, for example. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/23 10:04 PM |
| 8 | My boyfriend says he wants varietySuper helpful comment - although I may be the tiniest bit biased. :) Men have a higher desire for sexual novelty/variety on average. A new woman is one way to accomplish this, but there are plenty of other ways. u/Chamomilemist, can we give u/InevitableKiwi5776 a star? | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/23 07:41 PM |
| 13 | Lab grown diamondsMoissanite is a beautiful, more frugal alternative to diamonds! Slightly less hard of a stone and a little more sparkly. I went with something else, something vintage and non-traditional for mine. It was very inexpensive but also very fragile and fell apart a few years in. Now I just wear my simple wedding band and I really enjoy that. It's so funny to me how much I treasured my engagement ring and how little I've missed it. My wedding band is most important. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/10/23 09:07 PM |
| 5 | Discussion: Sex & Feeling SexyI desire sex more frequently than my husband so my time is more focused on either dampening my arousal or learning how to initiate effectively. What gets me going tends to be thinking about how much I like him and feel proud to be with him. Being seen in public together is very exciting. Hearing about his accomplishments or that he had a productive day is also very exciting. I like when he talks about something he's passionate about; I feel inspired to get some of that passion directed at me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/10/23 04:26 AM |
| 10 | My ex husband is trying to take our childMight not be about you. Could be that he thinks your soon-to-be husband is a threat to your daughter as she gets older and he moves in. Complete conjecture. But I don't think there's much more we can offer. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/10/23 03:40 PM |
| 10 | Is marriage inherently emasculating to a man?There's another aspect of the male mating strategy I've been pondering. I think men have this dual mating strategy where they're trying to find a woman agreeable enough to respect him and submit to him, but disagreeable enough to stand up to other men and to discipline/protect the children when the man isn't around. I believe this is what "compliance tests" are meant to uncover. And for women, "shit tests" are meant to uncover if a man would be a good leader and be able to stand the emotional dr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/23 08:19 PM |
| 22 | Those of you who waited until marriage to have sex, was it worth it? And those who did not, was no big deal?I lost my virginity to my husband while we were dating and it tore me up inside a bit. I regard(ed) it as a personal failing. I had set a standard for my behavior and failed to reach it. The sex part was always very fun but I felt a little bad. Now post marriage I don't feel any negative emotions surrounding our sex life so it's much better. I think the biggest thing to consider is how it'll make you view yourself. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/23 01:02 AM |
| 1 | why do women do this?Maintaining eye contact can be an indicator of interest. Smiling and conversations can be indications of interest. Women feel as though they have a responsibility to not lead men on, and to not show interest. Young women might feel especially vulnerable and might be playing it very safe. | /r/TheRedPill | 05/10/23 06:42 PM |
| 5 | Uhm I commented and got banned from 3 SUBS?!Some people just want to troll too. Imagine all the poor souls who got banned from subs they like cause they went over to TRP and commented "lol look at all these incels" | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/23 01:55 PM |
| 6 | A last attempt to fix my relationshipSomething I often reminded myself when I was dating was that I only had the ability to make one man happy for the rest of his life. Just one. It comforted me when I had to reject men or break up with them. Agreeableness and politeness make these things very hard, but I could tell myself it was all so I could treat a very special man very well. I wanted a man with whom I would be extremely proud to carry on his genetics. I've found it to be important to be able to respect a man's judgment even wh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/23 01:51 PM |
| 11 | Afraid my Vibrator Use could be hurting his prideThere's so much assuming about how he feels here. I don't think there's anything to do other than talk to him to really understand his take on it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/23 09:37 PM |
| 2 | Becoming averse to sex with husband (25F) newly marriedI've found dabbing some Windex on my man fixes everything. Another phrase that struck a cord with me was "be the wind in his sails, and not the anchor". | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/23 08:40 PM |
| 3 | Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'tsYeah, I've often found in marriage that we have the ability to tell each other what to do a lot of the time but we don't have the power to make the other want to do it. It's simply too big of an ask. We've been trying to factor that into our requests. Some requests you really don't care if the other one wants to, you just need it to get done. Other things you'll wait until you're both excited. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/23 08:38 PM |
| 3 | Becoming averse to sex with husband (25F) newly marriedI think people worry that praise will bring about complacency and constructive criticism is what will bring about improvement. But I've found criticism is one of the quickest ways to demotivate someone. Being happy and encouraging is what seems to give them that exact push forward. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/23 08:32 PM |
| 8 | A last attempt to fix my relationshipI appreciate your explanation. I've admired your poise when you post here. In my life, the things when I was most stubbornly trying to improve a less-than-ideal situation happened because I was deeply unsatisfied with my own behavior. I was so determined to see myself succeed that I continuously and voluntarily set myself up to fail. What ended up being right for me in those two situations that come to mind was walking away. I simply couldn't handle it. Emotions got the better of me. A big part … | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/23 07:54 PM |
| 12 | A last attempt to fix my relationshipI've read your previous posts and the effort you've been putting into your relationship and shifting your mindset. Would you be able to tell me how his opinions and actions have changed to suit your needs over the past few months? | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/23 07:12 PM |
| 6 | Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts"You should" is such a hostile way to begin negotiating. It communicates: "there's something you need to start doing, I am bitter you haven't been doing it already, and there is nothing I'm offering to do for you in return." I agree "I want" is a much better starting point. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/23 06:43 PM |
| 19 | Becoming averse to sex with husband (25F) newly marriedOkay, I appreciate you answering my questions. Let's take it back to what you said in your initial post: you think the primary cause of attraction loss is that his income isn't as high as you would ideally like. I couldn't locate it in the few minutes I took to search, but I remember hearing about a study that suggested when wives consumed media about very successful men, and when husbands consumed media about very attractive women, marital satisfaction decreased. Comparison is the thief of joy,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/23 01:52 AM |
| 3 | Becoming averse to sex with husband (25F) newly marriedHow much quality time would you say the two of you have a week? No responsibilities, no phones, just focused conversation about things outside of the day-to-day mundane stuff? | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/23 01:28 AM |
| 11 | Becoming averse to sex with husband (25F) newly marriedWe used to have a spicy sex life that I loved. For two years straight, I was passionate about it and loved every bit of it. That was mostly a cop out though, because I was beginning to lose interest already. Things didn’t feel so good anymore. I'm a bit confused on what changed. Is it only your thoughts on premarital sex? I would read Theology of the Body if this is your primary issue. Any changes in birth control throughout this time? | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/23 01:15 AM |
| 5 | Good cooking shows / online things specifically for women? Or anything online that could help meSometimes I like to watch YouTube videos titled something along the lines of "one week of Japanese husband's lunch bentos". Very calm, tranquil videos, food I'm interested in but don't always eat, a lot of focus on aesthetics. Very wholesome. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/10/23 06:55 PM |
| 158 | told friends I never say no to sexI'm always DTF. Whatever he's up for, I'm happy to be apart of. I love the low-intensity, cuddly stuff and the insanely pleasurable, mind-blowing stuff and everything in-between. I love his attention. I love his touch. I love feeling desired. Being in the mood is really not a prerequisite to having an amazing time. Just not avidly against it. It's a bit hard for me to imagine being really attracted to someone and feeling really close to them but being very against sex. It's not something I have … | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/10/23 02:58 AM |
| 9 | My (17f) bf (18m) makes me insecureIt's not a shit test, because the desired result is different. It's a compliance test. Compliance test -> tester wants to see testee comply, to be submissive Shit test -> tester wants to see testee fail to comply in a controlled or powerful way, to be dominant Sorry it's a very simple explanation but I hope it's of interest | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/10/23 03:42 PM |
| 13 | My (17f) bf (18m) makes me insecureWhen I was about your age I dated a guy who was very critical. When we first started dating, he was sooo happy all the time. I thought I really changed his worldview. Then the honeymoon phase wore off and he started criticizing me. My looks, my dress, my race, my politics, my religion. Everything. He even talked about how upper middle class me wouldn't be able to understand how hard it was to be lower class him. One day we figured out that his father made nearly as much as mine and his mother wo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/10/23 03:36 PM |
| 2 | Overnight he said he doesn't love meGlad to see your update! I find that people have a harder time recognizing something as good than they do bad. Good can often be... effortless? Less noticeable? Like I'm far more likely to know if a song is bad than if a song is good. I feel so far from being able to judge quality music, but I won't hesitate hitting the mute button on something that's annoying me. Or with looks. Sometimes attractive people with no makeup are more inoffensively pretty than they are stunningly beautiful. Out of pr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/10/23 10:14 PM |
| 10 | Considering becoming a SMBC?If you are neurotic according to the Big 5 Model, and it sounds like you are, early stages of motherhood can feel like a giant crushing wave of constant loneliness and guilt. Little kids are bottomless pits of need. They take and take until you don't have anymore to give and then they cry cause you only rocked them 40 minutes or only read them 7 stories. Their cries trigger the release of cortisol, the stress hormone, in your brain and then you regard yourself as a selfish, terrible mother until… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/09/23 02:23 AM |
| 2 | Taking a break from dating. What can I do during this time?Aw thanks! It was fun to reflect back on little me. I'm glad it's interesting to others as well :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/09/23 09:05 PM |
| 5 | Taking a break from dating. What can I do during this time?I wrote about a time in my life I was single here. There might be some takeaways for you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/09/23 06:40 PM |
| 1 | Rebuilding intimacy and confidence during recovery?Managing your expectations is really really important going into your marriage. Porn addiction will always be present. This will never go away. Some years will be better, some years will likely be worse. There will be many relapses to come. More secrecy. If you want to marry him, do it accepting that this is a part of him. If you can, I believe it's possible you guys can get to a place that's a lot better. I started dating my husband when he was coming out of the therapy/porn blockers phase. Onc… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/23 01:00 PM |
| 3 | Rebuilding intimacy and confidence during recovery?I don’t know how to make up for the lack of sexual things. I find giving massages to be a very sensual/intimate experience. You can add some essential oils to olive oil and put on some soft music. I can turn my mind off from the thoughts of the addiction. My situation was slightly different, but I found roleplaying helped me get over mental blocks in the bedroom. It's a lot easier to override my brain when I'm telling myself I'm someone else with different opinions. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/23 09:58 PM |
| 3 | What do you bring to the table?The problem might be that you're not being literal enough? What other women don't offer is very different from what women can't offer. I have no doubt my husband could find another woman with high SMV today if he wanted to. But high RMV can take longer to fully explore. So I think I offer a high RMV that other women wouldn't show today, even if they could display those qualities over time. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/09/23 05:54 PM |
| 10 | What do you bring to the table?I believe it's LateralThinker who will ask OPs this question: "what do you bring to the table that other women don't." I've given it some brief thought, and I think it's my belief that my husband is the best man for me. That our marriage is the first priority of my life and that I want to help him be the best version of himself. There are things I do and say that I only would because I hold these beliefs. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/09/23 01:54 PM |
| 6 | My Boyfriend is S*it Testing Me - How to respondnow I'm thinking it was a test just to see how sensitive I am or something. Trying to figure out others' temperaments is something we all subconsciously do when meeting new people. We go about it in different ways. I, for example, stay extremely quiet until I know someone well enough to not offend them. I'm introverted and agreeable (aspects of the Big 5 model). People who are disagreeable will go about this information gathering very differently, like your bf's brother. Am I being too sensitive… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/23 02:05 AM |
| 21 | Would you marry for love or money?I read this question as "would you rather have the motivation to dedicate yourself to your marriage, or a partner that brings a lot of value to your life?" These two things are often complimentary - they build on each other. Both are very important. I married for both so it feels weird to answer this question. I've never loved someone nearly as much as the man I married but I can't deny that him being financially responsible and pursuing a well-paying career with good work life balance was a hug… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/23 02:56 PM |
| 2 | Do most long-term marriages eventually lead to a roommate situation?People adapt to the atmosphere of the room. Put them in "co-parent" mode, they'll work with it. Put them in "lovers" mode, they'll work with that too. My mom was a bit anxious about how she and my father would get along on their first vacation only as a couple in that past twenty five years. Two weeks in Europe. It was fantastic, and people were so surprised to hear they've been together for 30 years because of how affectionate they were. If you make enough time for date night and do romantic ge… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/23 06:54 PM |
| 50 | My boyfriend watches a lot of RP content I disagree with and find kind of unsettlingFrankly, I do think that not respecting someone's judgement is a sign you should move on. According to the Gottman Institute, contempt is the number one predictor of divorce, which you express quite a bit of here. If you don't focus on fixing your mindset, that contempt will only grow as you attempt to build a life together and raise children. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/23 06:42 PM |
| 4 | Husband is (almost) perfect: How to balance his sexual fantasies and my faithI would recommend you check out my post on the different needs men can have and see if you can pinpoint what he's expressing. Sexual novelty sounds like Escape to me. What's coming to mind is simply to up the novelty in ways that sound fun to you. Something I want to try with my husband is me totally going all out and dressing up (I'm taking a different outfit style, different makeup, fake tattoos, colored contacts, shapewear, wig) then we meet up at a public spot and he has to pick me out of th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/23 02:05 PM |
| 4 | An RPW Guide to Shit TestingAWALT. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/23 06:58 PM |
| 1 | Back to Basics September: The Slut, and how not to be one.Maybe they have less negative traits and emotional baggage, but they're basically unproven. I disagree. I think men assume, due to women's easier-on-average access to sex, that an attractive virgin has the ability/will to reject men's advances. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/23 04:28 PM |
| 2 | An RPW Guide to Shit TestingThank you!! I'm nervous about that one. Lots of posts on shit tests to draw from but very little for compliance tests. :/ | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/23 01:09 PM |
| 3 | An RPW Guide to Shit TestingThank you! I think both men and women tend to vilify and oversimplify the vetting/biological urges/mating strategies the opposite sex has. I think women subconsciously shit test men to find out if they can handle the annoying or disrespectful attitudes that children can adopt. I think men subconsciously compliance test women to find out if she can follow his lead but protect herself and his children from strangers when he's not around. Serious stuff. Makes total sense to me that people don't lik… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/23 01:08 PM |
| 5 | An RPW Guide to Shit TestingI also think there's a strong security component to shit testing as well. "If you can't handle me, how are we going to handle life". On one hand, I believe that women test men because children certainly will. They are whiny and loud and disrespectful and women want men to be able to handle that with grace. On the other hand, I also believe shit testing can make life unnecessarily dramatic. People can be pushed too far for too little gain. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/23 12:52 PM |
| 5 | I don’t know where to start, but I know I want to understandI agree with your take on JPT. It's a place for men to receive validation more than it is a place for women to improve or think. I like the Maiden Mother Matriarch podcast. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/23 01:29 PM |
| 2 | Authenticity in a RPW's RelationshipThe goal might be to make him happier, but by truely believing the more positive things you're saying it leads to personal contentment and satisfaction. I agree! My husband likes to quote "the easiest way to have what you want is to want what you have." | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/23 01:07 PM |
| 6 | Authenticity in a RPW's RelationshipI think the main point of it is to acknowledge what you have and realize it could always be worse. By focusing on what you don't have, it's likely to worsen the situation and the relationship between the two of you. Practicing gratitude is likely to have a positive effect. Being able to shift through your negative thoughts to find a silver lining or something encouraging to say is a gift. "You don't make enough money" versus "I'm so grateful for the money you bring in. Our family relies on you a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/23 12:57 PM |
| 6 | Authenticity in a RPW's RelationshipTruth is complicated. You phrase the compliments one doesn't quite believe as "white lies" - but another way of looking at it is that it's acknowledging something honest about human nature. One can put your head in the sand about it or use it to their advantage. It can be true that one's husband didn't load the dishwasher correctly and it can also be true that it's not worth pointing out - because humans respond negatively to criticism and the husband is more likely to quit doing the dishes than… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/23 03:21 PM |
| 1 | Back To Basics September: Practicing VulnerabilityI find that when my partner asks for more information, he's still benefitting from the general knowledge of my mood. If I state that I'm annoyed up front, he'll proceed with more caution when he asks why than he might otherwise. When I say I'm feeling insecure, he might ask why but he knows that I'm primarily looking for comfort and to push past some resistance if I protest when he tells me I'm pretty. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/23 01:55 AM |
| 3 | Back To Basics September: Practicing VulnerabilityI agree. I find a good rule of thumb can be to share what you feel, not what you think. If I find something my husband did to be aggravating, a "I'm feeling frustrated" is an easier pill to swallow than a "You're so annoying. What did you do xyz? Abc would've been so much better." If I'm feeling insecure, I like to go give him a hug and say "I'm feeling needy," instead of "Do I look pretty in this? Does my hair look bad?" etc. Feelings are fairly concise. They're also hard to argue with. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/09/23 06:23 PM |
| 11 | Youth Struggling with Sexual SinCertain physical activities can help kill libido, like running. I've heard Theology of the Body is a great read. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/23 04:50 PM |
| 5 | Does your man know you follow RP teachings?Mine is very similar!! He also acts as a line editor for all my posts. They wouldn't be nearly as concise without him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/08/23 01:45 PM |
| 4 | What’s the Matter with Men? New Yorker articleChristina Hoff Sommers did a book about the education crisis among young boys that is in a very similar vein to this. I mean, I think everyone should be concerned. For a family to succeed, everyone needs to do well. And if the father can't, then sometimes the family doesn't get to exist at all. If the pool of suitable men is shrinking, women either have to share or go without. Neither is a good option if one wants to have kids. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/08/23 01:12 AM |
| 2 | Love is great, finances not so muchWhat has been his response when/if you asked for personal money for discretionary spending? How much is his discretionary spending? Babysitting/nannying might be the way to go income-wise. Childcare can often be paid under the table. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/08/23 12:34 AM |
| 3 | Sad that my husband likes lingerie model types and not me.I'm only 25, I float at the 47-48 kg range for 5'4 and had two healthy pregnancies with long breastfeeding stints. I agree the two could consult a doctor if desired, but very much disagree with your first sentence. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/08/23 02:32 PM |
| 5 | "I told you so"?You could try, "Oh, that's an interesting thought! That topic came up in my textbook/lecture the other month. I could send it/share it with you if you want?" Could you start more conversations about his topics of knowledge? Steer talks in a more theoretical direction so you both have the space to ask questions? Ultimately, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Shows good humility and it seems like he's as happy with how things are. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/08/23 02:07 PM |
| 6 | "I told you so"?Maybe the problem is my boyfriend doesn't respect my degree? He sees me study a lot but he doesn't even know what about. I can imagine that a person wouldn't be willing to listen to the knowledge of someone else if they A. don't respect that person, or B. do not respect that field of knowledge I wouldn't jump to that conclusion. Some are just the type to bet on themselves even if they know the odds aren't in their favor. It's more painful for them to follow someone else and have them be wrong th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/08/23 02:00 PM |
| 7 | Any good female red pill content creators you recommend?I like Louise Perry quite a bit! She has a podcast called Maiden Mother Matriarch. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/08/23 01:54 PM |
| 5 | Sad that my husband likes lingerie model types and not me.The weight he likes for 5'5 is in a healthy range. Your weight is also in a healthy range. It's okay he has preferences, it's okay they aren't you. You aren't going to get anywhere by demonizing him and the women he likes. It doesn't seem like he's been mean to you over it or that it's causing problems in your relationship beyond insecurities? You have to let go of the need to control how he thinks. You accept the situation or change your weight (in a healthy, long-lasting way). Attacking his vi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/08/23 01:44 PM |
| 5 | SOS Advice, should I think it’s over?In general, apologies are more effective when you talk about how the other person feels. Long explanations and vague assertions that your future self will surely do better can sometimes be... frustrating? Dismissive, even? I'm not sure of the right word to use, but I know I over explain/over promise to my husband and he doesn't like it either. His response is better when I try to emphasize with him and understand his perspective. Talk about him more than you talk about you. I think your partner'… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/08/23 10:41 PM |
| 20 | How much do you contribute in your marriage?Husband is sole breadwinner, I am responsible for 95% of the childcare. I do all the cooking and associated prep, and most of the cleaning. He helps out a bunch and is also very neat himself. It can be a lot for me right now but we've discussed how once all the kids are in school, my responsibilities will be cut way back. We agree it's okay if different phases are a little unequal. He's done way more than me both times I was pregnant. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/08/23 07:13 PM |
| 6 | My (29F) husband (31M) got mad and left me on a Café for a trivial reasonI second that OP would really benefit from Laura Doyle and The Surrendered Wife. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/23 04:42 PM |
| 2 | RespectDemanding better treatment is rarely an effective strategy for anyone - it's unattractive behavior especially when things are rocky. What works better is to inspire better treatment. Humans often form little feedback loops: you said something mean to me? I'll say something mean back, you apologized to me? I'll apologize back. So, if you make a solid attempt at stopping a negative feedback loop and turning into positive, you often see your partner reciprocate your efforts. It's dangerous to expec… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/23 03:53 PM |
| 3 | How to support during uneasy transitions?I recommend this post that breaks down different needs. Figure out what need he is expressing and support him in that as much as possible. Guide it into a more mutually satisfactory direction. He wants to work out more? You work out more. You make more protein-filled, nutritious meals. You research and order home gym equipment. You can help him shift his lifestyle into something he's happier with. I understand that your position is scary. You're dependent on him and he is thinking about reducing… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/23 02:24 AM |
| 2 | My ex-boyfriend says things will not be the sameI see your update and am likely beating a dead horse, but... When my husband and I started dating, he was recovering from porn addiction. He was in a support group, seeing a therapist, had blockers on his phone and computer, and was tracking his days sober. He had read books and done the research. He wanted to change. I came to realize a few months in that this struggle would always be a part of our relationship. I would have to accept that, and accept that although it was his problem to fix, it… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/23 03:21 PM |
| 1 | Daughters of Pick Me Girls or Cool GirlsAs a mother, I appreciate this comment. u/Chamomilemist, let's give her a star please. :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/23 01:48 PM |
| 1 | Daughters of Pick Me Girls or Cool GirlsI would never say a pick me/cool girl, but she's always had trouble with her relationships with women and been critical of female nature. She has my dad and they're happy together. She pursued him a bit more than he did and they have a solid marriage. She'll say things like "everything specific to being a woman sucks" - referring to periods, pregnancy, childbirth, nursing, etc. I don't really see it the same way. She heavily encouraged me to avoid drama in school and to converse more like men in… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/23 01:46 PM |
| 6 | Learn to cook and exploit it!My husband can subsist on oatmeal, sandwiches, frozen vegetables, etc for quite some time without complaint. It's impressive, in a way. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/23 12:56 PM |
| 14 | Learn to cook and exploit it!I love to cook!! I'm definitely a live-to-eat type and not an eat-to-live. Cooking is one of my main creative outlets. My food looks beautiful, tastes great, and is relatively cheap and healthy. I probably take a little too much pride in it, but I remember how it made me whole day brighter when my mom mentioned she was making one of my favorites meals for dinner. I wooed my husband when we were dating with my signature risotto, paired with lamb chops, asparagus, and a red wine demi glace. I thin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/23 03:54 AM |
| 4 | Red pill content on tik tokI care more about the results than the methodology. I acknowledge that men can talk about women in a way that I would disagree with and find distasteful, but seems to click with other men and produce behavior in men that women would typically like. Phrases like "women like assholes" come to mind. I think that's missing the mark, but some men benefit from hearing that and act in a more attractive manner. I don't usually like the goals of TRP men. Probably because they don't align with mine and I … | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/08/23 09:31 PM |
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