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Art_Martin Archive

View 1 post and 145 comments by Art_Martin on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Art_Martin/r/askMRP20/05/19 02:25 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I remember this moment for me. It is possibly the most real thing I have ever seen in my life from another human being. Complete truth. No ego. Absolutely beautiful Yep, and the words that came out of her mouth were like nothing I had heard from my confident type A women. Negative words about herself...stuff I couldn't even imagine were in the recesses of her mind. . I remember I posted a mini main event here and I was called out by a few people as bullshit - think it was my last OYS 4 or so mon…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/20 01:41 AM
1

If you have worked yourself up the dread ladder and come to the FMOFY speech (also in the sidebar MMSLP by Athol Kay) then you likely understand the power of what that speech can do. Frankly, I think the FMOFY speech is bullshit. I think if you’ve worked yourself up that high onto the ladder and are forced or coerced to have that speech, you are still trying to negotiate desire As someone who had tried to negotiate desire for 14 months until the last 3, I agree. I threatened to leave multiple ti…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/20 01:07 AM
1

I'm a year in and I'm clear headed. I'm invested in my goals, and one of those goals involves a relationship with a women who provides value to my life. It is my preference but not my need for that to be my wife and I can very quickly and easily achieve that goal without her. So by displaying that preference for it to be my wife, I can reconcile this being about me and my capacity to delay the achievement of that goal(for want of a better word) until the rope tightens on my wife. Until this OYS …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/20 12:39 AM
1

I kept it brief and knew it would be interpreted that way. Its not what it seems. I watch her cues from above it all now. But female nature still interests me.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/20 08:56 AM
1

Interesting perspective. I hadn't thought of it that way. I would have been interested to see what happened if I said 'no, it's done' when she came to me saying she really did want the marriage to work, after I told her I was done.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/20 12:43 AM
1

Fair point...I don't think it's my intention though. I'm certainly not doing anything autistic like going 'i'm a great man now, look at me', but I recognise she has to see the value to submit. My value is internalised, but I don't pretend that it exists in isolation of objective measures of value. What I have done by setting my boundaries for a relationship is to 'force her' to actually look into herself and decide if she sees my value. I don't have control of that. If she does, great. If she do…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/20 12:37 AM
1

Thanks. It goes without saying that when I say I have done the work and unfucked myself, emotional control is not an optional extra - so I'm not pissed. Or butthurt. I've looked it from every angle. It's simply a level of impatience to lead the life I want to lead as a man who has internalised his value....So I'm going to run with the plan for now - yet recognise I need to give her more time for the rope to tighten and will so through leading and covert means. An abundance mentality is a powerfu…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/20 12:09 AM
1

I said something similar as part of my comfort to her when she started talking about why we don't spend any time anymore during our multi day discussion. I mentioned it above in the OYS. I know there is a general negative vibe here that I started having these conversations too 'early', but some of these things my wife would never 'get' on her own. Funnily enough, I swore they were my own thoughts, but I wonder if I internalised this subconsciously cause I have read that post before. I'm question…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/20 03:09 AM
1

I am the only arbiter of my value based on the work I have done and the place I am at. I have no control over others perception. I set my expectations of interactions with others(including my wife) based on that internal value. I never need to convince another of my value and as far as I'm aware have not done that. If you spot anything to the contrary let me know - i'm here to shut down any unknown weaknesses or blindspots.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/20 01:12 AM
2

/mind blown. I can't even imagine my wife showing that level of emotion. But there you go- AWALT...
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 11:07 PM
1

I know. And with all my RP knowledge, my knowledge of female behaviour and psychology - I still try and logic my way out too much. This OYS has been really good feedback and reminds me that I need to spend more time here.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 11:06 PM
1

If a man is valuable enough to a woman, she will - in general - do what she needs to do in order to keep him. None of these require explicit communication about expectations. A woman will sense these and will either get on board or not. Just read this again. This is a really important point and I think this is heart of the matter for me. I keep trying to push her along to 'just get it' because I genuinely believe she is incapable of 'just getting it' herself. I've got to be careful not to projec…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 10:29 PM
1

Thanks for the reply. Always appreciate all the advice you've given me along the way. In this case, it was all her feelz in the moment. I'd spent most of the days for a few weeks with her as we were on holiday/vacation. I did give the appropriate comfort. Like everyone is saying, I'm talking to much, negotiating too much, but this women was not going to get out of the hamster maze on her own - and maybe I've thrown a rocket in there and blown a few holes in the maze rather than her finding it he…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 09:50 PM
1

That was very similar to the conversation I've been having with my wife. Not quite as dramatic, but it's why I was bold enough to call it a mini main event even though I thought it would get critiqued. I was the same on compromise. No compromise on anything in my vision.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 09:03 PM
1

That's interesting. Same deal. My wife is as stoic as a man, she's the archetypical independent .'i dont need anyone else to run my life' type. Its interesting to hear of similar type women and it still lead to snot bubbles.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 09:00 PM
1

Good point. And maybe this a blind spot of mine. You're right that I didn't tell her exactly what I wanted because if I'm honest I don't think she has the capacity to give it. But she has given me what I explicitly laid out as the vision for the relationship and time will tell how that bears out.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 08:30 PM
2

Thanks. I was really clear this is not a main event. It was the first time I saw a clear power shift though. Everything else has been a slow iterative grind of improvements in her behaviour. My behaviour changes have been the same when I got out of Rambo stage. Advice noted on the stfu and snot bubbles. Frankly though, I don't know how long I'm interested in waiting for that. Im completely stoic, and have the capacity and patience to wait and lead her there. Do I want to though, if it's another …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 08:24 PM
1

I was 100% ready to end it for the first time- to walk away after the last discussion with her hammering me with everything she's got. She came back to me and I set my expectations of a relationship. I wasnt going to come back to her. I don't know, should I have Stfu longer? At what point does Stfu become incongruent with who you are? To me, it's not about her. Its about what I want. I gave myself 12 months to unfuck myself and for my wife to come on board. I've done the work. I think this is pl…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 08:11 PM
1

My wife is not really the snot bubble type.....that's projection... She knew...for the first time ever....she knew I was done if nothing changed. and we've done 'the talk' too many times in both bp days and different iterations in early RP days. Nothing changed then...because I was all talk and no action. I've fucking smashed my ego so hard over the last year that I don't care if it's dread or desire right now. When you're intermediate, getting out of your wife's head while leading a reluctant w…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 01:55 PM
1

Same as you mate. What do you do if your wife pulls rank. Or rejects you for sex. Its all frame. Your wife gets it covertly and my wife needed a kick up the ass.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 01:32 PM
1

And this is exactly the point where the RP saves the man and not always the marriage. I have all these attributes now after a year. She knows it. She even comments about it. Gets angry when chicks flirt. She won't figure it out for herself and she's a smart girl
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 01:09 PM
1

Again I agree. I set the expectations and I walk away if I don't get them. You know women respond to that if the man is valuable enough. As I said, I don't give a shit about the concept of a main event, but that is the main event. The women realises the man is valuable( in one or all of many ways) and that creates dread, but becomes apparent very quickly to a high value man( and leads to further events which I've alluded to)... I have the most respect for hoa as a contributor, but his wife fucke…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 12:35 PM
2

But it's all dependent on your wife coming on board and that's the antithesis of the RP where it's about you. I don't control Her. I've done the same work that someone like hoa has done, but don't have a pliable wife. His wifes submission is about her. At what point I have to decide what my decisions are. The talk is negotiated desire from a position of strength. Should I walk away cause I don't have a pliable wife? Or should I lead somewhat covertly and somewhat overtly cause she doesn't get it…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 12:13 PM
1

No value doing so even if your wife has not come on board and you have value? You walk away?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 11:36 AM
1

I agree. I dont give a shit about the concept of a main event. I give a shit about the point I am high value enough to set my expectations of a relationship.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 11:13 AM
1

But isn't that the point of finally going overt. You have internalised your own value, you know your value and you set the expectations of your own needs. The flipside is Rambo where you set you expectations when you have no value..which is why we say do the work
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 11:10 AM
1

Yep. Definately not a main event...not even close. But at some point you have to be overt with your expectations of a relationship when you internalise your own value. It shouldn't depend on how pliable your wife is to determine when the main event is appropriate. Thats in her frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 10:47 AM
1

Thanks. Interested in your thought processes on this?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 10:33 AM
2

OYS 17 – the start of the next stage(mini main event) edition. RP 1 year. Age 39. Wife 39. 3 young children. 6’0’ 195lb. Bf approx. 15%. Started lifting 11 months ago at approx. 180lb and prob 20% BF It's been another 2 months or so since last post. I’ve come a long way in that time. Talking offline with another guy here in a similar place has been really good and helped me clarify some thoughts floating around in my mind. Gym On a 5 day split. Look forward to it every day. Seem to getting slow …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 09:56 AM
1

Certain she has BPD. Unless she has been diagnosed, nearly everyone questions whether their wife has BPD or similar at first. The quicker you realise she probably doesn't, and it's all your fault, the quicker you'll progress.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/19 02:36 AM
1

Thanks for this. It helped me solidify a few thoughts floating around. I get heaps of external validation now and it's helped my abundance mentality which helps the mental state with a wife who is not fully on board. But there is still a disconnect between my internal view of myself and the external validation im seeing, and that's holding me back..this helped..great post..
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/19 09:19 PM
2

They talk about love languages a lot in the deadbedrooms forum. That alone tells this guy all he needs to know about the value of communicating his feelings to a women who is not attracted to him. I think they're up to 3 saved marriages now out of the hundreds of thousands of members..
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/19 08:32 PM
1

know it’s all in my conditioning and that I’m projecting my fears onto her. Does anyone have any advice on how to better structure this situation to better my chances. The standard advice is to start gaming during the day, so she's primed at night. But that really depends on how far you are along - which by 'I haven't really swallowed the pill' implies to me not far. That's your biggest barrier right now. What's stopping you?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/19 03:30 AM
1

Thanks. I was going to start hitting the sidebar on this. I've read this post a number of times in my early days but I was so far off that then it didn't sink in. The good news is that this is exactly what I am starting to do naturally. Should be much easier to implement than my last block, which was getting out of my wife's head( which you helped me on the path too but it took me a long time to get there). Great stuff.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/19 09:06 AM
2

OYS 16. 10 months RP. Age 38, Wife 39, Kids 10,8,6. Weight 86kg(190lb) Height 6"0. BF 17%(navy method) One month since my last post Another really interesting month of progress in all areas. What I'm finding is that I use my progress in one area as a launchpad to improve another area. I would have been useless trying to do it all at once. Some guys pick this up lighting fast, and others take a bit more time. I was one of those people. When I reflected on where I am right now, I couldnt have gone…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/19 11:49 PM
2

Wife took advantage as she would be expected to This is what I don't get and would like to understand more. All the shit you mentioned she is doing is just life shit women have to do regardless. If she is taking advantage by needing to get her hair done while you watch the kids, or asking for help with errands while you are not working- then what is the dynamic while you are holding frame? How is it different? I'm genuinely interested in the dynamics here. I recognise you are saying she is pushi…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/19 10:18 PM
1

Makes sense. We all look at things through our own lense based on our own experiences. I think I was coming at this from the perspective of a discussion I've been rolling over in my mind about how leadership actually works in a established MRP relationships like Horns - (because I am starting to actually lead it now in mine, and don't know where it will end up), rather than leaving it with simbarlion's and your point that his whole point was about slipping back into old beta ways - it wasn't abo…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/19 09:27 PM
1

I still don't get this comment by Horns at all, even after reading your explanation. Even if you're busy as fuck, you still have a few hours for your kids. They should be part of your mission. And maybe this is a LSL anxious/depressive thing, and your masculinity/polarity and comfort is the value you add and that's enough in itself, but surely any women with high self esteem is never going to be content long term in a relationship where they are chained to the kids 24/7 while you're out slaying …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/19 09:01 PM
1

Did you initiate like a faggot? Sounds like it was pretty weak...
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/19 07:37 AM
2

I may even make other plans on purpose. Textbook butthurt. Do what you want if that's truly what you want, but doing shit like this is not going to give you any benefit....
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/19 10:59 AM
2

Frequency is pretty shitty though lately. I can’t seem to break a max of six times a month if that. This month will be more like 3. It’s pathetic. What's your rejection ratio? Have you started initiating regularly now? If you're getting rejected regularly are you removing your time and attention and then resetting? Gaming the same woman all the time really does feel like playing to an audience of one. “Take what you want” and “don’t be in her frame” and all that but still I need to tailor my app…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/19 04:33 AM
1

So what are you saying? When she starts letting me have it, must it always be STFU? Should I never fight back in a calm and directed manner? When she recites (again) the litany of all my past sins, I can’t respond in kind? It's (very) early days for you, and you're a long way off this so it's hard to internalise at this point - You need to get to the point where you literally don't give a shit what she says. Her words are entirely irrelevant to your worldview. Sometimes she'll hit the mark, and …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/19 09:47 PM
2

“buck up son, you really are the prize you sexless, weak faggot.” You've got to decouple these thoughts for you to progress. We had a chat about this a few weeks ago. It's all been spelled out clear as day by U/inchargeman If you are doing the work, there are women out there who would fuck you in a second right now. All the choices around the fact you're not getting fucked right now are yours. That doesn't mean burn it all down, but you're choosing monogomy, and youre on the stay plan is the go …
/r/askMRP11/11/19 02:51 AM
1

And I caved. Damn. Huge learning for me. Anyway now I feel tremendously foolish about the whole thing. I did everything I wasn't supposed to. DEER. Get gay and dramatic. Act like a victim. General pussy ass shit. How did I not see what was happening, that things were escalating? And you'll be pulled in and tempted to do it again and again and again. And it will never make a single improvement to your relationship. Just make a note to yourself to never do it again. And if you've read WISNIFG, the…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/19 05:14 AM
1

These thoughts are starting to filter through, but I'm not there yet. I'm a fair way along now - and recently some things really clicked - but there's so much more work to do to unfuck myself before I get to the point I truly are the prize - and if she doesn't come on board, then that's her loss. I at least owe my kids that over my short term happiness. But since I have now truly shed my ego and expectations of my wife - It does get harder everyday to maintain a relationship with a wife who, by …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/19 09:31 PM
1

Yer, this one is going to take me a while though. I'm in a really good place physically mentally and emotionally but I have more work to do before I have to start getting overt . Stay plan is the go plan. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/19 02:07 AM
1

The biggest hurdle I see here in guys stuck in the middle is that they aren’t willing to burn it to the ground because it makes them uncomfortable to upset other people to get what they want. This hits home. I can't get past the damage it would do to my kids. Is my happiness worth upending their lives. Since I have developed my own proper sense of self worth and abundance, I could leave my wife in a second if she's not willing to give me what I need...But the kids....How are others processing th…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/19 09:14 PM
1

I didn't own my shit with what needed to be done around the house. I like that "get shit done because it needs to be done". It fits with the "build your life and invite them in" mantra. I remember struggling at first with the concept when I found RP. 'What if I don't feel like cleaning today' - if I was single I'd leave the dishes and that's congruent and that's my frame and isn't cleaning the house and being proactive just another form of dancing monkey. And so I started doing shit, being proac…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/19 04:24 AM
1

It wasn’t so much a dead bedroom, just the uncertainty of the next when/if. It was the normal blue pill nice guy mentality. I no longer feel that. If I initiate tonight and get rejected, I’ll initiate again the next morning or the next night… it’s just a matter of time. I just recently hit this place too. You need to pull a few moving parts in place to make this work(kill your ego/expectation, accept that it's not a big deal not getting sex 'in the moment', initiate without neediness,remove butt…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/19 03:05 AM
1

So many things to unpack here. On a diet note I have been drinking 4-5 days a week. 2-3 glasses of wine/beer a night. This usually derails me from fulfilling any kind of purposeful mission on those evenings as I inevitably spend time sitting down drinking as opposed to actually accomplishing something. Early on is the time when you have to start to reset the lazy habits and start getting shit done proactively. I won't moralize about your drinking - but get your shit done, then if you have time, …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/19 02:50 AM
1

Why waste energy on being pissed off about it? It's a non event. Unless they are providing new evidence that there is a risk to you, just ignore that shit and do what you want to do. I have been an ass tho and can't deny that, making my wife have sex she didn't want to have. Did you push to a hard no and then keep going? If so, yes, that's an ass move. If not, then she chose to fuck you. You initiated, she complied based on her own motivations.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/19 10:33 PM
1

The wife wants me to concede and lower my dose. I may do that... What do YOU want to do? What's your reason and motivations for doing TRT. If you've done the research and you're happy with the improvements why change anything? You're in her frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/19 09:30 PM
1

Thanks. That makes a lot of sense.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/19 06:24 AM
1

You're either the Prize, or you're not. This is something i've been thinking about a lot lately. How does a man know when he's the prize? I go through stages where I feel that way, but then I realise I've still got weaknesses in areas x y and z. But even when I fix those problems, I recognise it's an ongoing journey and there will always be more things to improve. Or it is something you just 'get' and it clicks. I find this happens a lot in my journey here, where I'll plateau in an area, and the…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/19 10:02 PM
2

Your last sentence tells me a lot about your state of mind. I was there not long ago. You just have to stop caring about being laid 'right now in the moment'. You can still care about sex, but are you so weak that you can't handle not getting your cookie at the moment you want it. In terms of butthurt, you have to get to a point where you aren't butthurt at all, and that is congruent with your personality. Then who gives a shit if your wife thinks youre butthurt. You shouldn't give a shit anyway…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/19 01:17 AM
1

Your wife is bored. You have no friends. Go and do some fun spontaneous shit with you wife leading the whole thing.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/19 11:33 AM
1

I just took a look at your post history. You're well ahead of the game mate because your goal is about being a high value man rather than simply being a high value man as a means to get your partner to fuck you. That's good. Mental test though..what would you do if your wife decided to stop fucking you from tomorrow...
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/19 10:48 AM
2

Makes sense. Might just have been the way you worded it,but 'making it a no brainer' for her'sort of sounds like you're thinking of the organisation things as a form of choreplay. What's hotter. Asking your wife verbally if you want sex and then spending the next 5 minutes setting up while she finger fucks her phone and waits. OR I want you naked downstairs now(plus or minus your own level of assertive dominance) and you have the shit ready to go.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/19 05:23 AM
12

Or how about simply. 'no, it wasn't on my list of priorities for today. And end the discussion.. As long as you are owning your shit that's a perfectly acceptable answer.
/r/askMRP24/10/19 01:34 AM
2

'She wants to lay on me after rejection ("I just need this now") and so I don't really want to but I also don't want to seem mad.' Why is it seeming mad if you don't want to lay with her after she rejects? YOU want to fuck. She didn't.YOU don't want to lay with her. YOU now go and do what YOU want to do. No Deering when she questions you(she will), no anger. If you're genuinely not butthurt and you have other shit to do go and do it. That's when her hamster starts engaging...particularly if you …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 11:53 PM
2

Yes we do. I want to be clear the recent changes were all about me and my attitude and actions.and I spent a shitload of time self reflecting, rather than watching my wife's reactions to me. She is coming more on board, but that's a byproduct. Just keep that in mind. Once it clicks, it clicks hard.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 11:45 PM
2

I struggled for the longest time. I had everything else dialled down emotionally. I was stoic, never got angry, passed shit tests and led my wife to better moods...but i simmered when I got rejected. Mostly in silence. It was a number of things that clicked(read my OYS this week) but it's mostly just that I have internalised that I'm a man, and it's the manly response to not get butthurt in the same way I have emotional control in every other aspect of my life. I put myself in the position by ge…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 11:32 PM
1

Gels are all they were offering. It's short term anyway, so if the improvement I'm feeling continues/ maintained I'll def stay on it, probably in injectible form. Mentally I'm already pretty good, but anything that helps in focus will be a bonus. In terms of lifting I get golfers elbow which is caused by the wrist when doing barbell bicep curls etc. Hammers are fine. Shoulders are bit weird too, but I think they are just weak(my OHP numbers are embarrassingly shit)I'm going to talk about this wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 11:15 PM
1

Thanks. You've given me a lot to think about. I'll stick with the gel for 6 months, monitor the levels and then move towards injections, even if GP is not on board. There are clinics in the next towns that prescribe this. Just not local..
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 11:11 PM
1

I don't plan on stopping. The evidence base means that if my levels are 1000 at 6 months in the gel and my symptoms have improved /resolved then as far as I'm concerned it works. Then I can have a rational conversation with my doc about the most effective methods of delivery to maintain this long term
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 11:17 AM
3

I escalate like a man to a hard no, and then I accept (like a man)that I've made the decision to be monogamous and I'm not going to fuck tonight. It's that simple. I own it.. If I feel like it, i escalate tomorrow and do the same thing while continuing my life. In my case it never gets to the point where I need to remove myself because now I am initiating regularly she gets the hint and we usually fuck after max 1 or 2 rejections. But I only started doing this right after 8 months of RP, so my w…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 10:49 AM
1

Yer it's irrational.ill meet the trainer and we'll dial in the perfect form and I'll be right. Ive got a bit of weakness in my back and can't afford to fuck it up..
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 05:24 AM
1

I'll do bloods at 3 months and again at 6. The protocol is gel 10% 1mg a day. Yer tendons and joints are my weak spot even now. They're the things that stop me lifting more reps in some cases than I could. I'm going to talk to the trainer about this. In terms of other effects. Noticably hornier, and in response get hard all the time. Morning wood every day. Not as tired,in fact not tired at all. There's no way this is placebo because when I need to sleep I need to sleep. I'm going 2days of littl…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 05:18 AM
1

shared 3 or 4 requests I had to accomplish (prepping for sex mostly) . Here's a different perspective. Were these something you could have thought of beforehand? I'm trying to work out what 'prep' you need that couldn't be sitting in your bedside table ready to go. If you could have organised it and didn't - and needed to be told, it shows me you didn't own your shit. I want her to want to have sex with me, and for HER to go out of the way to do the ‘prep’ work for me That may or may not come in…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 02:55 AM
1

Thanks. I might look at stronglifts again. Always scared of deadlifts and squats for my back - hence why I didn't start. I'm getting a PT starting next week for a while who is going to show me the proper form on the compounds. I don't count food - I need to start. I notice that when I get the required protein I start bulking. But I never track. Will do.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 02:23 AM
1

I have read that injections are best. I went down this path as a low risk short term test run. I went through a specialist clinic and this was the only available delivery method. At the end of the 6 months I'm going to sit down with my (conservative) Doctor and look at the before and after levels, and whether things have improved. Most Doctors here wont prescribe if your levels are above threshold. My Doctor certainly wouldn't. I need the evidence base.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 02:20 AM
3

I reckon I was pretty much exactly like you until the last few months...so my advice is framed from that perspective and where I am now. I am past this now - and my journey is written in my OYS, which you seem to have read. Your comment about a hot weekend away only to be met with nothing back in real life was exactly what happened to me earlier on in my journey. I even posted an OYS about it. Sexy wife on holidays and mummy hero back at home. I read in your earlier OYS that your wife even calle…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 01:11 AM
1

And the thing is, the sex is nowhere near where I want it to be. But that's okay. It may never be(with her). I've simply fully realised it's congruent and natural to be a sexual person and that's how I'm going to live my life. She can come along for the ride if she wants( and she is starting to), or we move on. But I've got the mental strength to take a longer view about what moving on means now. I'll get what I want...I'm sure of it now...it's just a matter of when...
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/19 09:48 PM
1

I'm starting with the gel for a baseline for 6 months(100mg I think), with regular blood tests. I'll look into calibrating at the end of that time based on where the numbers end up and how well it's working.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/19 09:35 PM
20

OYS 15. Nearly 10 months RP. Age 38, Wife 39, Kids 10,8,6. Weight 86kg(190lb) Height 6"0. BF 17%(navy method) Well it’s been nearly two months since my last post. I write one for myself every week as my internal notes. So much has happened. In many areas I’m grinding away, and in others, I’ve made significant improvements. A huge amount of personal reflection has occurred which has allowed me to understand some blocks in my life. I’ve started on dread level 5 after some gains at the gym. Good ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/19 10:02 AM
1

I am back in action now, and I don't hold that view anymore though. Once I recognised and understood what I was doing I let it go. I've had some real solid progress on myself by self reflecting the last month, rather than looking at my wife as a measure of my progress. I used to spend my energy on analysing my wife, and still do to a small extent..but analysing my flaws is much better for self improvement. A big part of that progress is related to your comments in prior OYS so thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/19 08:43 AM
1

OYS 14. RP 7 months Age: 38 Wife 38. Together approx 20 years. 3 kids 10,8,6. Height 6’0’. Weight 85kg/187lb(+0lb). Bench 80kg/175lb x 8. OHP 40kg/88lb x 6 Reading: WOTSM - it's really resonating with me the 3rd time. I'm seeing how the feminine responds to the masculine and the polarity needed for a successful relationship ​ I had a month off posting because I needed to step back and analyse my behaviour and start to understand myself if I wanted to progress on my journey. I’m dot pointing my o…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/19 11:14 PM
1

"oh yeah? You're gonna act like that? Well I'm going to the zoo to get away from you. Maybe next time you'll act better." It's "this isn't providing value to me. I want value in my life, I'm gonna go get value." If every newby read and understood this, there'd be a heap of less butthurt men out there. Nice summary.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/08/19 11:51 PM
3

OYS 13 RP 6 months Age: 38 Wife 38. Together approx 20 years. 3 kids 10,8,6. Height 6’0’. Weight 85kg/187lb(+2lb). Bench 80kg/175lb x 8. OHP 40kg/88lb x 6. Reading: Sidebar – everything with fresh eyes. ​ And…..things were going well, until they weren’t. And it laid bare my lack of true OI and emotional weakness- but I see it as a blessing in disguise. A week of sickness led to a week of no sex, and a few rejections thrown in for good measure. By about day six, my true emotional weakness came ou…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/19 08:43 AM
1

I read your first OYS post about starting 5 months ago and stopping. You stopped lifting too. You really need to ensure you have swallowed the pill as that suggests a lack of firm commitment. Get reading if you have any doubt. You seem really affected by her moods too. Try building some models in your mind that you're not going to not give a shit about your wife's moods and are going to have a good time regardless. Try it for a day, then 2 etc. Its hard at first, but gets easier. This stuff is m…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/19 06:25 AM
1

I was hoping you'd reply and challenge my thinking. Because you're not up to leading the engagement and enthusiasm in sex ... you're expecting your wife to make up your deficit, and excusing yourself by blaming her for your failure I feel like i am now though, because i have more confidence in the bedroom and can handle rejection or anything else that comes my way in the bedroom - and thats why the reading has value. Can't you see that all of the excuses you hamster, as well as your obsession wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/19 05:02 AM
1

No sex in 2 years. Nothing? Where are you on the dread scale? What are you doing to improve. You sound like the textbook beta provider all giving and getting butthurt when you get nothing in return.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/19 04:50 AM
1

Speaking of excuses ... SGM should help make your wife want to fuck you. Fair point. I find I internalise information at various points as I progress. It didnt mean anything practically when I read it the first time because I didnt have the confidence and frame to implement that in the bedroom. I wanted to, and tried adding all the DEVI elements but they were shot down and I was too weak too not get butthurt. it is what it is.... LOL! Can you elaborate? Assume you are implying I'm still a dancin…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/19 03:09 AM
1

No. It only requires you to have your shit together and to be attractive. That's why this is OYS. It's not OYWS. If you are attractive you will attract someone who will fuck your brains out. Your wife will realize and will either get on board or not. It's up to her and it certainly is not up to you. You do you. Let her do her. Yep, doing all the above - smashing that area....the place i'm currently at is that she will fuck me on demand, but it's not the sort of fucking I want. I think my natual …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/19 12:27 AM
1

I don't know man. Thats the point though. What I want (enthusiastic and engaged sex) requires another persons performance. You can either set that expectation overtly, and then it's not a covert contract - but doing so leads to a form of compliance(or not depending if they come on board). But If I lead covertly, it's potentially a covert contract. But I'm not seeing it that way. The difference in the latter is that I'm doing it from a place of OI. I lead her, but there is no expectation that she…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/07/19 11:56 PM
1

Not at all. You know what you want. Now the question is are you willing to do what it takes to get what you want. I'm have a plan, but I recognise that any plan I have with an end goal of getting someone to do what I want could be considered dancing monkey. I'm at the cusp of leading her to a place where things will improve significantly, but I need to be a bit overt about my expectations to get to that place 'right now'. And truth is, if I need to be overt it says to me I'm not at a place where…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/07/19 11:08 PM
2

​ OYS 12 RP 6 months. Age: 38 Wife 38. Together approx 20 years. 3 kids 10,8,6. Height 6’0’. Weight 84kg/185lb(+0). Bench 80kg/175lb x 6. OHP 40kg/88lb x 6(just started OHP - weak - no shoulder muscle strength obviously) Things are going well. Still on dread level 3-4. ​ Readings SGM - It wasn’t really relevant until you start having a wife want to fuck you. WISNIFG again. This time from the perspective of how to apply to life, rather than how to diffuse my angry wife. ​ MAP • To become an amalg…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/07/19 09:42 PM
1

Next OYS note that you're 5 months in. Most people come in and put their first OYS a week after swallowing the pill so the advice is very different if you're done some work rather than just starting out. Sounds like you've got a plan in place which is good...
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/19 11:34 PM
1

•It all started when I fucked up and suggested that since I was heading out of town next month for work, and since I'd be in the wife's favourite city, instead of flying home on Friday I'd book a flight for her to come down and we would have a kid-free weekend in the city - just the two of us. This reminds me of a time early on in RP and I was getting a little cocky and dominant toward my wife - most of the time it was unwarranted dominance for my station as a beta rambo. I was a newby, and I re…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/19 05:47 AM
1

Good points. I'd add why does he care so much about putting her needs first? I guess it's noble, but most newbs get angry as fuck that they've been lied to their whole life about the nature of women and why they're not getting fucked. Caring about her needs should be the last priority. Get fucking awesome...mentally, physically, emotionally and then see if you care about her needs then. No doubt the mindset will be completely different then and you'll see the world in a whole new light. And read…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/19 01:55 AM
1

Alright, one more thing. Did the 500 calories come from the air, or a plan? Whats your aim? I can't point you in the right direction as I'm bulking and never had to lose weight, but you'll do much better if you have a system that combines nutrition, lifts and cardio to acheive your goals presumably to lose weight and gain lean mass? A 500 cal deficit might be fine, but if you're eating shit carbs and not protein you won't achieve shit even on deficit.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/19 01:22 AM
2

Give it to me straight. I'm a weak ass and need to hit the weights harder. I like the idea of OYS and guys keeping each other accountable. Again thanks for the reply. You are where you are in your lifting from the work you have done so far. I don't judge. Just lock the habit in and keep progressing each week/month. Body fat of 27% is high though. There's plenty of programs out there where you can gain mass while losing weight as long as you have nutition on point. Assume you have a plan for that…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/19 12:50 AM
1

Went to the gym only once. Got a cold and considered working out through the cold but I may have got the cold from pushing myself in the first place so I decided to rest. I plan on killing it this week Not sure how long you've been lifting for, but from your previous OYS(and your comment about a cold) it seems that you struggle to commit to it. If i'm right, build the habit as something you lock in. Put it in your diary, make dates and time. There's a good reason why lifting is fundamental to th…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/19 12:39 AM
1

Once I got over my butt hurt for things I could not control, relationship of course improved to amazing levels This one took me a while too. It's so obvious in hindsight though. Women find men attractive who have control over their emotions. I get a bit evo-psych, but if the man can't control his negative emotions when he gets denied sex, or doesnt get a cookie, imagine what he is like in other important areas that involve life and death for the women and her children. I wish I did this from day…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/19 12:23 AM
1

Feelz. It's always about feelz. She wants to make me happy because I'm a high quality man. She knows I am capable of leaving her and finding someone who will give me a relationship I want and also all the great qualities I have to gift. Think: strongest beta game you've ever imagine (which took a lifetime to learn). Seems you've really got the strong alpha now as well as the beta(comfort/provider/nurturer) locked and she's come completely into that space. Really keen to see your next progress...
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/19 12:12 AM
3

So the question I need to ask myself is whether I would make all these improvements in isolation of the outcome? I don't have a yes or no answer to that right now I thought long and hard about this last night. Knowing what I know, and who I was, and where I am now, and what I am becoming - I would absolutely continue to make these changes irrespective of the outcome/validation because I want to be the best man I can be(physically, mentally and emotionally) to lead the best life I can live in thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/19 11:56 PM
1

u/Inchargeman story from what I have read was a process of change over time and he made those changes from a position of strength that he created by being a high value man. At your stage going overt that her needs come first just sounds to your wife like the status quo. Which she actually said to you - how is this different from before. Put yourself and your needs first. Nobody else is going to do it. Not right now anyway.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/19 11:48 PM
1

Nice work. That is mammoth progress in a year. Did you ever have any inkling in your BP or even early RP days that your wife would be like this? How is the narrative sold to her for her benefit? The whole psychology of pure submission is baffling to me, even with a reasonable body of RP knowledge.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/19 02:50 AM
1

It's a Covert Contract: "If I improve, she'll have more sex with me because she'll desire me more." So you're not happy because you didn't really want just more sex, you wanted more sex with more desire from her. It's Validation you're really looking for here. You're spot on. I thought I'd moved on from the covert contracts and validation. My improvements so far are a means to getting my needs met(one of those being desire filled sex - ideally with my wife/but longer term potenially someone else…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/19 10:31 PM
2

I think this is the staple of "I'm a good wife and going the extra mile - look I even have sex with him once a week!" mindset. It gets thrown out the window once real desire is there My BP thoughts were that once a week was her baseline 'horniness' and we just fucked at the lower libidos level of once a week. As I've seen here, there is no such thing as a baseline horniness in a women. It's fluid based on desire levels. Does it matter? Why are you trying to guess her motives. If she didn't want …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/19 09:09 PM
14

OYS 11. Age: 38 Wife 38. Together approx 20 years. 3 kids 10,8,6. Height 6’0’. Weight 84kg/185lb(+0). Bench 80kg/175lb x 6.Found RP Feb 19 I’ve changed the format so I am accountable to myself – This is a pretty raw version. ​ Reading: No new readings as I was away and spent it with the kids. Plenty of sidebar always when I get a moment. Career I needed a small break from work to come back fresh. My job, while a manager of people, is often very solitary. This served me fine in my previous life. …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/19 09:00 AM
3

​ OYS 10. ​ Found RP Feb 19 Age: 38 Wife 38. Together approx 20 years. 3 kids 10,8,6. Height 6’0’. Weight 185(+0). Bench 175 x 6. ​ ​ Read The way of the superior man WISNIFG Rationale Male Saving a low sex marriage MMSLP Mindful Apptraction Plan Practical Female psycvhology Attraction isn’t a choice The Game Ironwood collection of alpha moves Models NMMNG ​ ​ Reading Captivate How to talk to anyone (just started)– Sex god method- only really starting to see value reading this now. ​ Social ​ Ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/19 11:10 PM
2

OYS 9 Age: 38 Wife 38. Together approx 20 years. 3 kids 10,8,6. Height 6’0’. Weight 185(+1). Bench 175 x 6. RP 5 months. I’m now 5 months in, and only realised in the last few weeks how to properly internalise some of the core concepts like frame and OI. I’d been doing it well in some areas, and shit in others. If I’d stuck to the plan as described, I feel I’d be further along the journey- yet I needed to make the mistakes to learn, and I’m still learning every day. I’m seeing massive gains now …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/19 11:16 PM
3

I’ve done the RAMBO thing/grappled with the same questions and recently moved past it – I was saying no to nearly everything because I wanted to be ‘strong’, and it doesn’t matter how many times people tell you it’s stupid, it’s what most of us do early on. Here is the closest I could get to a logic trail/mental model in my own mind when I wanted to get past it–I never documented it until now. Take it with a grain of salt. There is no formal ruleset here that covers every scenario and this is ba…
/r/askMRP01/07/19 09:22 PM
2

I need to fuck women. It's like food in the sense that if I lack access to it, getting it becomes the most dominant thought in my mind Thats the most succinct summary of the male need for sex I've ever read. I feel the same way and until recently I demonstrated it to my wife through neediness. I expect that most beta men do the same.
/r/askMRP26/06/19 12:05 AM
5

OYS 8 Age: 38 Wife 38. Together approx 20 years. 3 kids 10,8,6. Height 6’0’. Weight 184(+0). Bench 175 x 6. RP 5 months. ​ Reading WOTSM 2nd time – Definitely getting more out of it this time at 5 months in that at the start. WISNIFG – Never finished this the first time around as I didn’t get how important this was at the time. I see how important the first line of response to a women when she shit tests or gets angry. I’ve used A and A to a lot of success, but I want to improve my toolbox. ​ Li…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/19 10:57 PM
1

Cheers. I think its helpful for us guys to see clear examples that a steady, multifaceted approach to improving the man first and foremost as the end goal in itself often leads to the outcomes in others the man is hoping to achieve. This is RP philosophy in action - us newbies I suppose should be encouraged to go read the history of the MRP Approved posters to realise most grappled with the same issues as the rest of us not that long ago. For our benefit, as you seem happy to answer questions - …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/19 04:56 AM
1

Thanks. What a dramatic transformation. Did you make some really significant changes to yourself before you went OVERT that increased your value to such a point where the alternative (her leaving if she didnt like the D/S dynamic) was just not a realistic option for her? or maybe it wasnt even necessary as you sold the narrative to her as a net positive for her and she came along rather than being 'forced'(for want of a better word) along by your high value to her.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/19 02:30 AM
2

Amazing. Your value to her must be stratospheric. Was your wife always a 'pleaser' wife in your version 1 relationship? Ie did things for you, prioritised you in non sexual ways? Was she 'needy' in any way? Was she lost? Did she completely change in v2? To us relative newbies reading this, with wives who don't possess any of the above attributes, as well as not really showing they need 'security, guidance, and to feel that she is of value' - it's like reading something from another planet with w…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/19 11:09 PM
1

All true and I DNAF about praise/validation from a women as I achieve my goals- never have(validation through sex is a different story altogether - I'm still dancing to that tune). But when you swallow the pill you read a lot about the nature of women, and you start to see it in action. I'm experiencing this firsthand with the same lack of validation as I improve - and while I (geniunely) don't need it - I am really interested in understanding if this is an AWALT feature of women in general as t…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/19 11:26 PM
3

For those struggling with validation… Not a single time did I get encouragement from her. Not a single bit of praise. Not a mention of anything that would resemble a wife who is proud of or to be with her husband. Not a single comment on my physique, style, new haircut, sexual position, or attitude. Nothing. And I still haven’t heard her say a nice thing once about any of my changes Would you say this is common situation for RP men as they move along their RP path? Or is this a characteristic on…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/19 02:03 AM
1

Oh, thanks. I'm sure there was some sidebar info on that and I'll look into it - she's definately started a new round of testing. ​ What i'm learning is how much of a slow release capsule all the sidebar is. I read everything once and took some of it - but most of it as well as the advice I received - I was not ready for. It's almost like you get to a particular stage, and the info you read 3 or 4 times finally 'clicks'.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/19 11:52 PM
1

OYS 7 ​ Age: 38 Wife 38. Together approx 20 years. 3 kids 10,8,6. Height 6’0’. Weight 184(+1). Bench 175 x 6. RP 4 months, self-improvement 5 months. ​ Life/MAP. ​ Work – no updates Property development – no update. I've started working hard on charm/charisma rather than simple confidence to improve the overall man. I was/am weak in this area. The external compliments are starting to come through as I’m getting fitter, and taking care of myself more. More obvious looks from women, body language …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/19 10:57 PM
1

Thanks. my problem is she doesnt care about affection. She never has and is that way with everyone - friendly but not affectionate. Completely non needy for physical touch. Attention is a different story. Thats really important to her, except when she is tapped out at the end of the day ironically so that wont work. The angle I'm thinking is covert dread works well on her and creates a feeling that I'm not attracted to her, and that the point I get her into bed and comfort her and show her this …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/19 05:54 AM
1

Thanks. Thats what I need to do. She goes straight for the phone or netflix for her 'me time' as soon as we hit the bed most nights as she has been 'needed' all day by the kids. An enthusiastic yes from her at midday(for the night) turns into an 'i just need to tap out' at 10pm and I just become another 'needy' thing on her list. Which is why I liked what you said in your recent post. My wife has high confidence, self esteem and is the complete opposite of needy though so it's not going to be a …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/19 12:03 AM
1

I'm struggling with this idea and I need to let it go because It's about improving the man anyway. ​ But seriously, is your wife interested in enthusiatic sex at 10pm at night(first opportunity) knowing you'll be up with the kids at 5 to do it all again the next day. I read u/hornsofapathy great piece on creating escape for the wife and I'm going to look at that. My wife would probably fuck me daily if we could at a reasonable hour of the day and we didnt have the kids around - i've worked out t…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/19 10:52 PM
6

OYS 6. Age: 38 Wife 38. Together approx 20 years. 3 kids 10,8,6. Height 6’0’. Weight 183(+1.5). Bench 175 x 5. Squat TBC deadlift TBC. RP 4 months, self-improvement 5 months. ​ MAP/Mission Career – improved motivation and planning has led to improved performance. Maintenence is key now for short term. Property dev work – on hold while I invest time with the family. Planning the next project where I can do the work turnkey rather than get on the tools. Self Improvement - Improved confidence in so…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/19 09:57 PM
1

You have zero game plus you are a skinny ass faggot. 5 months of lifting and a 130lb bench? really? you haven't done any work let alone the work needed to get a woman wet by just walking in the room. Yep, I recognised I've been fucking around when I realised I was making definition gains but not size gains. I've been roughly the same weight since I started lifting 4 months ago. This last week I've tripled/quadripled protein intake and actually started lifting heavy(for me) and I've put on 3lb. I…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/19 09:40 PM
1

OYS 5. Age: 38 Wife 38. Together approx 20 years. 3 kids 10,8,6. Height 6’0’. Weight 180. Bench 130 x 10. Self improvement 5 months- RP 4 months. Lifted. Only lifted 2 times. Things get to busy when I don’t plan. I’ve now locked in 3 times a week and put in the family diary so it happens. If I can get a bonus one in –good. Started to finally lift heavy and eat the right amount of protein for muscle growth. I was only getting maybe 50 grams of protein a day – the rest was carbs. I’m now at least …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/19 12:21 AM
1

Spot on. Lots of weak qualities there. Theres also a lack of faith that she will come around and why should I bother. I need to STFU (both here and with the wife) and get on with it. I think too much...
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/19 12:17 AM
1

Shit hack3ge, I just read some of your history and I am where you were a year ago. My wife sounds nearly exactly like yours - literally asking the same questions, reacting the same way. I could be writing the same posts. Just good to hear an example of someone who was in a similar situation, had the same doubts as I do now, and managed to come out the other side. I know there is a shitload of examples here of that - but yours resonated as it feels so familiar. Nice work getting yourself sorted -…
/r/askMRP30/05/19 11:39 PM
1

Even when she was obviously displaying for you? Context matters Not sure. She probably wasnt at that time. She only does it when she senses I am not giving her attention(and she is not mad at me for some pointless stuff). Theres other things she does as well in a similar context. I know I shouldnt get in her head, but its an interesting dynamic. Noting and not chasing more powerfully shows non-neediness than "I'm not looking so hard Thanks for the advice. She rolls her eyes at my sexual innuendo…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/19 10:58 PM
1

I'm 4 months in and a quick study. I've changed dramatically internally in that time( ( I'm blessed /cursed to not have stubborn tendencies, which means self reflection and change is really easy. ) but others are not so quick to change of course. I am impatient, and upon reflection it is an area that is limiting me right now. ( And it goes without saying I know but a fraction of what I need to know and am only at the beginning of a long ride)
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/19 11:50 AM
1

Interesting thought. I am doing completely non needy, because I made comments exactly like you said all the time in my beta days , and she didn't appreciate it. I can see a time where she will and it would be from a place of strength. But I sense I'm on the right track here ignoring her body-something she knows I was so needy about.. Beta shit or not. I know what you're really saying is don't play the game at all. Noted and thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/19 11:41 AM
1

Agree and noted. I'm not on a high though -I fucked up and went from DL 1-2 to 10. I'm the exact opposite of a high right now. I'm apathetic and I know this is RAMBO thinking. Am I missing something? I'd be fine with separation if it wasnt for the kids... And yep, I always go back to talking when RP stuff doesnt show any progress over a number of weeks. It's bloody stupid - I'm impatient to get what I want in any part of life. working on it.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/19 05:31 AM
1

Thanks. To clarify.I think youre right - its not a lost attraction.There's just something that repulses me when I think about fucking someone who is not really into it, and I mark that as a lost attraction. I still find her attractive/hot. If she became engaged in sex, showed genuine interest the attraction would come back. However(her words) were that she doesnt want to invest in the relationship because she doesnt see the point if someone is not attracted to her. I note the irony of that state…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/19 04:04 AM
1

I'm going too fast though. But I'm going fast because I am now geniunely not into/attracted to someone who is not into me. I'm not even sure I'd be able to get it up if she came to me for duty sex. - this switch only happened in the last few days. I need a truly willing partner - where in the past I believed I had a truly willing partner but I understand mostly it was just duty even though she enjoyed it. Is this validation seeking behaviour - I wouldnt think so but I've been wrong before. I don…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/19 02:58 AM
3

OYS 4. Age: 38 Wife 38. Together approx 20 years. 3 kids 10,8,6. Height 6’0’. Weight 180. Bench 130 x 10. Self improvement 5 months, RP approx 4 months. ​ Work After recognising that I was not putting in the effort in my professional role I should – I have made some big changes in organisation and structure. I will achieve what I want in this role with the next 2 years and will continue on into another senior role after that – including some further management training. No more cruising. Propert…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/19 11:54 PM
2

Thanks. The risk I see here is that newbies can think that a shit test is anything that comes out of a wifes mouth that she is harping the husband to do. If you have that mindset, it just comes across as weak to the wife surely if you are actively ignoring or A and A(or whatever) in scenarios where you should have just owned your shit and not did the stupid thing in the first place. ie taken the bins out. So by reducing compliance you are showing very literally your low value 'I don't own my shi…
/r/askMRP28/05/19 04:00 AM
6

Slightly OT, but i'd like to hear more about your point about increasing compliance lowering attraction - When is a shit test a shit test? For example someone hasnt owned their shit around the house; say they are responsible for the bins and they are overflowing; and the wife calls them out on it in an angry way, and it gets called a shit test - testing your compliance. I'm struggling to see how just not doing what your supposed to be doing in the first place and a person calling you out on it i…
/r/askMRP27/05/19 11:27 PM
1

Do you like the job? Do you find it interesting? Are there things you can get involved in that you like better? Set some plans/goals. If you're a high value employee then you can pretty much work on what you want. How do you get to be a high value employee? If you're not waking up most days looking forward to work, then there's a big problem in your life. Not really. But to do the property development work you need capital - and I'm not at a place where I can risk the house on the developments. …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/19 11:24 PM
2

OYS 3. Age: 38 Wife 38. Together approx 20 years. 3 kids 10,8,6. Big week of introspection... Work I have a professional office job, and I am not motivated like I should – But it pays well. To me, this reflects on me as low value, as I really should be slaying it career wise at 38 years old - not withstanding that you spend over 40 hours a weeks of your life there too. Not sure what I am going to do about this yet. Property development stuff is going well. Life/Mission I’m do life in general oka…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/19 12:09 PM
2

Yer, I can understand that. My weight has never been a problem, but I can see how she could see me slip back into whiny supplicating beta mode as my default.
/r/askMRP21/05/19 02:45 AM
1

I'm still in the early stages and this stuff seems more advanced. Hence I suppose my confusion as to why it had the effect it did. Off to start reading again...
/r/askMRP20/05/19 11:32 PM
1

good advice. I'm going to try that angle. Her issue is if I didnt do something for her that she wanted me to do, why should she do something for me, In that sense its truly transactional and I can use your whore style comment above to break that down - and keep working RP principles to up the SMV until she sees sex as not 'something she gives to me'. The problem is that she is actually mad that I didnt do something for her -which is a separate issue and the whore context wouldnt work. I need to …
/r/askMRP20/05/19 11:29 PM
1

I'll bet you don't have a track record of following through on things Thanks. Are you able to elaborate on what this means?
/r/askMRP20/05/19 11:20 PM
3

Thanks. I had a small stage of using verbal ultimatum language early on - rambo, and that didnt go well. So she knows I'm improving and discontent with the relationship- but doesnt care enough -yet. I am just doing it all with a STFU attitute now. Its bloody hard to resist the power of that pussy though. I'm still a validation whore and cant help but feel on top of the world after a good fucking, which slowly builds to frustration and resentment as time and rejections continue. I'm working on it…
/r/askMRP20/05/19 06:04 AM
1

It's just so surprising as its only been really a few days since I did the full non needy IDGAF attitute, even though I've been owning my shit in most other areas for months. I recognised I needed to be completely non needy and treat her requests for things as secondary to my own needs. I'm working to calibrate that balance. Basically I have decided if she asks me for something reasonable - if I am free and available, I do it. If not, I tell her I get to it when I get a chance. If its not reason…
/r/askMRP20/05/19 05:58 AM
1

Thanks. I didnt do it with the intention of manipluating her or offend her to give me sex though.I am just removing anything needy from my life, and consequently I geniunely havent been paying attention to her body. Add an IDGAF attitute to offending her now(saying what I thought in the moment without caring for her sensibilities), and I suppose that can come across as a recipe for cocky confidence. Nice to hear I'm on the right track hopefully.
/r/askMRP20/05/19 05:02 AM
1

Thanks. Thats exactly what I needed to hear...
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/19 04:41 AM
1

Yep, absolutely she is. The angle you suggested about it not being healthy for the kids is definately something I need to move with. They love her, but they walk all over her because she is so kind and giving. As soon as I step in, shit gets back to order. ​ That said, irrespective of getting her to back off on the helicopter hovering parent bit - I need to understand how to get her to see the relationship as a husband and wife is important at this stage of life 'without sounding needy'. Logic d…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/19 12:00 AM
1

Yep- plenty of Dad alone time with kids out and about - more often when she is at work, or busy with something else(see second paragraph for explanation why). I'm pretty active in that space. I'm the 'fun one' even though my wife is a very active person and very active with the kids. Its actually pretty hard to get quality time with the kids out alone when my wife is around because my wife wants to come to everything we do. I lead and tell her that I am doing this with the kids - but it would be…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/19 05:27 AM
1

OYS 2 ​ Stats: Age 38, Wife 38. 6”0. 180 pounds(-3 pounds - 1 weeks of solid landscaping and minimal gym) . Swallowed the pill 3 months ago. ​ Work/Finances/Property Development Property dev deal is coming to a close, and should be very lucrative. Work has taken a backburner while I do this. I need to get back into this. ​ Mission ​ I haven’t really developed a formal mission - Prior to RP it was to get as rich as possible as fast as possible by property development and bring up good kids. Since…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/19 02:07 AM
1

You're absolutely right. However being a supplicating pussy in the past, i think she sees anything decisive/confident as dominant. I realise how important congruence is though and there is a fine line here between aggressively improving and rambo in how much the wife takes to your changes. The mixed signals around my dominance are a challenge though. One time recently I TOLD her to get in the bedroom and spread her legs and I'll come in and 'blah blah' in my dominant language after she got out o…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/19 02:00 AM
1

OYS 1. First one a bit longer as it provides background and context. Stats: Age 38, Wife 38. 6”0. 183 pounds. Swallowed the pill 3 momths ago. ​ Background Typical story. Got together at 17, Married 11 years, between together 21. 3 great kids (10,8,6). Typical nice guy. Put the wife on a pedestal and ensured all her and the families needs were met. Gave up most of my interests and got the ‘guilts’ from the wife if I pursued. Generally normal guy, but probably whinged and whined a lot about job, …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/19 12:12 AM
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