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ArtichokeSavings9472 Archive

View 0 posts and 134 comments by ArtichokeSavings9472 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

Swallow your pride do whatever you can to make court easier and or keep it uncontested after that you can talk all the shit you want
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 01:40 AM
4

No pay the damn bill this won’t be any sort an indicator . It’s a longstanding societal norm .. weeding out gold diggers?? Pay it get laid move on
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 04:18 AM
2

Get to court dude forget the divorce .. so there’s a restraining order doesn’t mean you can’t see your kids
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 02:51 PM
8

Marriage isn’t on my agenda anymore only wish I had kicked her out sooner .. what an eye opener the freedom , the fun the girls all sex in cars all Of it it my life has only been improving since divorce
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 11:23 PM
7

Congrats dude ! Must feel like a ton of weight off of your shoulders
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 11:39 PM
1

Nope I love having new girls around way more fun and I’m not attached to any bullshit if they pull any shit I don’t like then it’s on to the next . Marriage doesn’t seem like an option again for a long while I wish I would have kicked her out sooner .
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 08:15 PM
14

My regret wasn’t kicking her the fuck out even sooner
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 05:45 PM
5

Now keep going
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 03:34 PM
10

Dude she is going to continue to put herself first and fuck you over . It’s time to put yourself first keep being the great father those kids need you to be . Stop thinking about her it is pointless get to the gym get with friends chill with family you can’t dwell on the past you and your children deserve more it gets tough at times but you can do it start doing what you love and saying no to things that don’t serve you
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 11:08 PM
11

Absolutely happier in every sense . Give it time the freedom the peace the growth it’s so much better
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 05:11 AM
3

Not trying to be mean but that story isn’t special it happens to all of us and usually way worse who gives a fuck what she’s doing or where she’s going . Focus on being a great father and your relationship . Stay strong
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 12:26 AM
1

Ok so what exactly is a long distance marriage ? 20 minutes away 1hr? 8hrs? There are so many questions here. Why did you marry someone to live so far away knowing that you have responsibilities such as your kids? Of course they want you to be present. You’re their fucking dad I hear a lot of excuses in this. What is it that you truly want a long distance marriage and kids half the time or half ass parenting because you’re too worried about a woman who lives how far away you can do both but pick…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 04:34 AM
2

Put it in box and give it to your kids .. if they’re not old enough stash it away
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 01:49 AM
2

Be kind to yourself , you went through a lot when those feelings come up stop and think take a deep breath where is it coming from a place of true concern or anxiety ? Triggers from your past odds are you are just hyper vigilant from divorce . Relationships are amazing tools women will unintentionally.. or sometimes intentionally reveal alllll of your insecurities faster than any therapist or self help book will ( although I still recommend those) and that will help you heal you just have to pra…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 03:42 AM
1

wtf do not leave your home . First take a breath divorce sucks but you will be ok be there for your child be the dad that he needs . Next be kind to yourself this will hurt a lot you need to get a lawyer and the immediately go to the gym open those friendships back up spend time with the bros and become an even better man
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 05:24 PM
17

I know … toooooo fucking bad that’s her problem you’re not her fucking therapist or savior she hast to navigate those issues on her own
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 09:39 PM
11

Dude your her babysitter . I know that’s harsh stop playing so fucking nice she’s going to eat you . Please get away from this insanity .. you don’t break up the family she did and she knows it . While she’s out getting what she wants your home taking care of everything . Rip off the band aid it’s going to hurt a lot don’t look back move forward get to the gym . Stay strong
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 04:14 AM
10

Keep your balls intact , stay calm and realize she’s probably hiding a lot from you .. take the bandaid off it’s going to hurt .. a lot .. but this pain will push you into becoming a better man . Stay strong hang with friends chill with family and move on there’s so much life to live you got this man .
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 02:20 AM
11

Don’t give it any thought your ex won’t be able to hide her true self for long .. in the meantime be kind to yourself divorce is a weird Fucked io painful experience take time to heal and stay away from her when her new relationship implodes she will want to come crawling back . Tell her fuck no
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 02:15 AM
3

Glad to hear you made it through !! Keep those balls and wear them proud enjoy the fuck out of your freedom !
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 02:14 AM
1

Sorry to hear that .. it’s possible the relationship has run its course .. if so remember that as sad as it may seem It’s just launching you into where you should actually be .. not a stagnant relationship ! Best of luck stay strong !
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 01:48 AM
3

Oh, read that one too fast we see so many of them on here .. in general no I don’t think that they work you guys need more than ever is communication. All breaks Do is widen the gap between the two of you. Can you guys sat down together and had a real talk about what’s going on? How much space do you guys allow for each other? Are you doing man shit to the gym hanging out with the guys taking time for yourself she’s number one priority. That’s going to cause problems. It sounds selfish. It’s not…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 11:23 PM
11

No. Breaks are code for I’m fucking someone else and don’t want to be held accountable
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 09:14 PM
3

Instead of seeing everything as a negative you need to change your perspective. I know that sounds silly, but it’s that easy what this is winning if you’re getting rid of a shit woman from your life and you’re out of a job that was taking you nowhere and this is an opportunity for something much better. I know that sounds corny but really, what if these things were meant to be out of your life along time ago and they just happen to stop at the same time you will recover from this stay strong pos…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 02:36 AM
1

What are the actual problems you guys are facing?
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 03:48 AM
2

Yeah what’s up here ? Are you looking for input about a situation that’s done and over with ?? Take a step back focus on yourself
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 05:06 PM
3

Get away from her . Heal take the time and heal it’s going to hurt bad but you if you focus on yourself and healing you will come out a better man stay strong
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 01:17 AM
4

More importantly do you actually want it to be salvaged ? Look at yourself your life the decisions your making.. are you falling short is she ? Where can you improve I bet there’s a lot .. take a long hard look at yourself are you lacking drive , not going to the gym not spending time With strong male friends , letting others walk all over you ? I know this comment seems a little out there but if your not doing those things as the bare Minimum you will see more problems whether you’re in this re…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 10:19 AM
6

Doesn’t matter why … she wants out so prepare yourself she will become a different person protect your assets protect what you have worked for get the fuck away from her . Yes it’s painful but the pain pushes you into something bigger and better so get fucking moving rip the bandaid off … the longer you wait the worse it’s going to feel
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 09:35 PM
3

Who gives a fuck why would you want that shit back of you were out making other gurus you wouldn’t even notice that bullshit
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 09:33 PM
4

You learned now it’s time to heal and become an even better man !
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 04:05 AM
2

Congrats .. remember keep the anger and bitter feelings to the side the best thing you can do is move forward and be the very best father leave the shit in the past so happy that you get to be a part of their life
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 10:26 PM
6

Be the man that she can’t live without that’s it don’t overthink it become more successful and better than you’ve ever been Happier than you’ve ever been OK being alone.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 04:43 PM
3

They already have one it’s Facebook dating ….
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 05:03 AM
14

Her saying it doesn’t have to be mutual means she’s going to fuck you the first chance she gets women play dirty. This is not the woman you married. They become fucking demons. You have to play this smart stop being so nice. You’re a man they’re gonna fuck you hard.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 12:13 AM
6

Get to the court right away file for custody immediately the longer you wait and look like it the longer you went without caring Monday morning be there at 8 o’clock whatever time they open document everything don’t walk in there telling her how much of an asshole she is even if she is look like a levelheaded nice dad that you are . If you don’t take this seriously, the court won’t take you seriously they see this bullshit every day.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 08:46 PM
2

Agreed overall Marriage really only protects the woman it’s a guaranteed 50%+ of everything you own and more .. I date have fun when a good one comes along I will Commit - not to marriage but if I was to ever remarry no kids and a monster pre nip that way it’s like dating if there’s a split just move on and leave my shit alone
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 04:04 PM
2

Hey man it takes time to adjust you need to spend time away from this stuff . Create a life without this divorce it happens it happens a lot more than 50% I honestly think l the numbers are higher more like 75% .. get out keep your friends circle stop thinking about all of it no divorce no loneliness no it’s all just going to fail thinking . Life is full of beauty full of choices make better ones . Your looking at divorce as a loss I see it as a win . She’s gone I’m happy I bounce from girl to g…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 03:39 PM
1

You deserve to have fun and to get some ass you only love once no more excuses getoutttttt there !!
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 09:55 PM
4

Sounds like she has one foot out the door sorry to hear this , time for some reflection and a plan to move forward . Are there any other indicators of cheating or someone else ? Women are very clever and hide evidence well (typically anyway)
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 12:56 PM
3

She wants all your stuff and you to pay for it while she dies whatever she wants
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 08:39 PM
8

Dude stop everything take a look around , remember the choices she made that caused you all the pain. She has made every effort to destroy you . You can’t stop now you have come too far , overcome too much to allow the enemy back inside . She clearly has a lot of mental issues to work through and you would only be signing up to lose more than you’ve already have . Cherish your peace, cherish your freedom .
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 11:01 PM
11

You’re either feeling guilty because it failed or your recognizing that you inevitably had a part in the downfall which is fine but your perspective is very unhealthy if therapy isn’t working you’re not putting in the work or allowing the negative mindset to permeate your life all still negative you can talk about change or MAKE change .. get to the gym clear your head and get with other girls you need to improve yourself and move on you can do it but feeling pity for yourself isn’t the ticket .
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 03:31 PM
3

I regret not being able to get out of it sooner
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 04:31 AM
7

That’s awful I would sit her down and have a real convo also please please stop having sex with her nonsense in getting it if you have somehow been lucky enough to dodge it
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 05:20 PM
2

I hope that’s helpful stay strong !
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 03:52 AM
6

I’m in a similar boat it’s two things but it’s mostly you .. you’re subconsciously attracting those women it’s what you know it’s what your brain is searching for even if it’s harmful your brain was taught this “ truth” ( even though it’s negative and really not the truth) so it seeks things to verify that “truth “ - “women are so chaotic and unstable “ so your brain finds those women . Because of this you also give off certain vibes , energy and those women can smell it a mile away because it’s…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 03:40 AM
2

BPD is a nightmare to deal with .. my experience is they only get worse-start therapy to start healing from being with a bpd then find /call around and get a free consultation with a lawyer or sometimes they charge 100-200 for and hour or two well worth it to see what your getting into .. females ALWAYS have the upper hand you need to protect yourself . Check out books on Amazon about being with a bod and healing they are tremendously helpful divorce is painful and hard please take care of yours…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 02:34 AM
4

Keep pushing never give up good luck out there!!
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 05:09 PM
3

A secret vacation? Who was she seeing ? .. exactly
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 05:53 PM
1

Play this smart you messed up and your about to lose half Your shit .. makes do not have the upper hand in this system if she wants she will take more
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 02:16 PM
9

How awful get away from her paternity test , std test stay strong it’s going to hurt worse before it gets better … but it will get better you just need to get out of there
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 05:32 PM
1

You can’t make her not do that it seems like the communication between you two is already non existent and then you’re telling her that’s she’s only allowed to speak about it with you and therapist .. you used some strong wording here “ sacred, divulged” are these points that you shared relevant to healing and the therapeutic process? Otherwise why share ? Women want a strong man yes your in therapy but if it’s a big woe is me session and you telling her all the problems are her adhd what kind o…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 04:40 PM
1

A te set building one just because you don’t have one doesn’t mean you can’t get one . Bigger picture here why did you allow yourself to go so long without a friends group strong dependable masculine friends are crucial for us guys to keep and hang out with regularly
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 04:34 PM
1

Mediation are those fun meetings where she gets to hear about all the creative ways she can screw you and take everything you own because “ she put up with a lot and deserves it”
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 04:03 PM
7

Stay strong always move forward never backward .. date around have fun forget your ex
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 04:11 AM
6

This is awesome and exactly what I’m looking for in therapy
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 01:39 AM
1

He needs to stop communicating with her let her talk all The crap she wants he can’t change that but do save all of the messages and collect save all the ones that she sent to other people - hopefully he didn’t respond back with any threats or degrading messages this will only make him look worse . He’s the Mae so he’s already the underdog no matter what he needs to play it cool and calm . Best way is to stay away from her and oy communicate via text to see his daughter . ( I know unsaid stop co…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 02:20 PM
13

I was so for marriage for years and years until I got divorced and saw how quickly everything you have worked for and EARNED can be taken away and awarded to someone else. I work too hard for that I’ve spent to many years dedicating myself to becoming better and earning more . So marriage as of now is a no .. because I no longer buy into the lie- marriage guarantees nothing .. except absolute protection for the female .
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 01:49 AM
1

You already know what she’s up to .. a bunch of bullshit get out of there and stop dwelling on it
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 06:20 PM
3

You will get through it early on is really hard but the pain is good use it as motivation to get better to get away from her and that every who cares how she is doing. How would it make you feel to know that she doesn’t care and is it out enjoying her life . Exactly all the more reason to not dwell on her anymore you will get through this stay strong
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 04:24 PM
9

Why get hung up on one comment from her? Look at the big picture there are many issues here you two can’t stand to be around each other, fighting all the time , apathy towards the relationship . Your children deserve to see both of you happy and thriving not miserable all the time pull off the bandaid give those kids the life they deserve
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 03:25 PM
2

Good luck with everything you deserve to be happy and to feel loved these things are always hard embrace the tough times and come out a better man !
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 11:29 PM
8

Can’t control it can’t do anything about it . Better to focus on yourself. Being angry only hurts you out that energy into being the best father you can be stay strong man
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 11:15 PM
2

A lot To process here .. what were the issues before the business ? Divorce never feels good even if n you can’t stand her take this time to work on yourself . When you say took over our business what does that mean. If she doesn’t want to be there you can’t force it let her go build yourself up find the right one . Odds are there were a million red flags that you either didn’t pick up on or ignored to about the pain . Funny thing is you can’t ever avoid it you either face it head on or end up i…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 11:14 PM
10

I need my bills paid for and a place to smell while I do whatever I want with other guys “ she’s using you
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 10:51 AM
3

You got this stay strong give yourself time to heal
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 01:17 AM
4

She may not be seeing anyone else but your her second choice in life aka she’s not putting you first women who want to find themselves are curious about what other d is out there they think the grass is greener . If your struggling with communication work on that for yourself being dedicated to your job and working a lot doesn’t mean you can’t have a happy and fulfilling relationships
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 02:09 AM
3

Never be anyone’s second choice get out early man it’s going to hurt even if you can’t stand her it’s still going to hurt but the sooner you rip that bandaid off the better . Women who say things like I don’t deserve you are telling you something ..listen.. it’s guilt I again had a similar situation she wouldn’t have anything (honestly) without me and the divorce was insane she would say stuff like that all the time I ignored the red flags or more so though oh I will help and things will get bet…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 02:02 AM
5

These things happen be excited that you didn’t get her pregnant and spent years and years with her knowing youre miserable . Learn from all Of this I’m also stubborn and it landed me in a much more difficult spot divorce custody battles , fighting to keep everything that I’ve worked for in my hands etc
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 01:49 AM
10

Get out of there . She mentioned it it’s been more than a thought that’s the tip of the ice berg .. stop giving so much and getting nothing back get into therapy and uncover why you have been tolerating this sort of behavior or trying to rescue her . Not saying it’s the case but that’s typical for males out of households where the mo was always in some sort of “crisis “ or I’ll or playing the victim . You are young take the time to better yourself learn about you and your patterns get into a gym…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 01:45 AM
11

All the time I mean it’s a bitter pill but we’re part of the equation too .. not saying we pulled the evil shit they did but there’s a part of us that accepted the behavior and or ignored all of the red flags several years of looking inward and I’m still digging hoping to get therapy soon to really get through some more stuff I was very young for marriage and well naive I ignored all the red flags or thought they would even out over time .. she only got worse and the abuse deeper and deeper .. s…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 11:29 PM
1

Good luck!!
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 09:15 PM
2

Take what you owe on the house (mortgage) and then see what you can sell the house for whatever “profit “ you can make is the equity in the home keep in mind lawyer fees, realtor fees ( here in my state is 6%) and other misc closing costs Mortgage 100k Sale price 200k = 100k in equity minus closing costs lawyers fees etc also interest rates for mortgages are crazy high right now so if your planning on selling to buy again you want to be sure it’s worth it they’re hovering around 7+% with good cr…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 05:08 PM
3

No need to rush it take this time for you build yourself up into an even better man .
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 02:02 PM
1

Most of us do .. but there’s only one way through face the pain heal let your body and mind recover get out with friends , spend time with family hit the gym work hard on yourself and you will be better and attract better women
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 02:35 AM
2

Dude your nerves and emotions are still so raw , give it time rushing into something with another women won’t heal those wounds .. get into a gym focus on yourself for a while get some therapy come here for support and read all of the self help books out there it’s going to take time you will come out of this a better man stay strong there are millions of lovely sweet girls out there be the best man you can be so when the right one shows up you are ready you got this
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 07:08 PM
8

I was also married to one it doesn’t get better they just continue to escalate bpds are suffering immensely inside and want the same for you they will dismantle you from the inside out .. total destruction.. you need to start your recovery asap it takes time get into therapy start reading books about recovery - psychopath free for starters. Stop thinking you can reason with her plead or even beg it’s useless their brains don’t operate like that typically at the end of a relationship they really …
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 11:52 AM
2

Take care of yourself reconnect with friends get out be social , get to a gym eat clean start therapy . Read all Of the great self help books codependency, how to not be a pushover , men’s self help become more masculine set a stronger foundation. And sleeeeep
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 09:34 PM
5

Get out of there start healing she had already moved on what she’a telling you is only the surface . Get to a gym reconnect with friends take care of yourself . Read books on codependency build a better stronger you and find the girl that wants to be around you not someone you’re trying to guilt into staying even after she cheated !
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 09:30 PM
4

How long has this mood shift been going on for?? You are trying to perform for her to make her feel better.. meaning you are trying to make her happy it doesn’t work that way everything you’re doing is very nice but you’re on a one way street to burn out if she wants to be happy she has to find it the answer is not you taking up every duty and task her life requires you need time for yourself go to the gym get some time in with the guys give her space you can’t force it in either direction I kno…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 04:13 AM
2

You can do this . Separate yourself from that relationship get into a gym , eat right sleep well get into therapy . Reconnect with strong male friends and family putting yourself first is key . You need time to heal this pain is only motivation on your journey to a better version of yourself. It will hurt but if you do this right you will come out a better man. Push yourself but remember to be kind this will take time keep your head up and always move foreword
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 03:28 PM
7

Stop taking the victim stance . Get out there work on yourself stop letting one shitty woman in your life dictate how you feel and live .. get into a gym work hard sleep and eat right get a therapist . Only do things that you love and keep you fulfilled. Stop becoming so attached to these women you barely know them we’d is always fun but finding somebody that you’re truly sexually compatible with can take time
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 02:11 PM
5

We have all been there . Instead of focusing on it getting easier realize you need to prepare yourself for a long road .. arm yourself with the tools needed to cope with this there are many bumps in the road .. get into the gym focus on yourself and only do things you love and find fulfilling . Don’t allow the space to sit and dwell on these things fill your time up with healthy options you can do this
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 04:32 PM
5

Hey it’s mine too hang in there you will get better at this work hard on yourself take this time to improve any area of your life that needs it. like others have mentioned you’re not alone in this post on here and vent as needed
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 04:14 PM
1

Why would you bring it up ? She didn’t have the courtesy to brinks io having sex with another guy. The more time she has the more time she can plan out how she’s going to scare you over keep your business to yourself . The second any advocates lawyers or professionals get in her ear they are going map out exactly how to screw you over . Stay strong no contact you can do this . It’s not a fair fight your the male you are entering a fight blindfolded with your hands behind your back
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 09:15 PM
2

Work on that self confidence get away from that toxic shit and take care of yourself . Put yourself First always this isn’t selfish it’s actually more beneficial to those you take care of because if your cup is full you can better serve others . You can’t be very helpful if you are overwhelmed with an empty cup ! Get a fitness routine going and stay with it for at least 6 months a year is better and then.. don’t stop sleep and eat right love yourself and get a better social circle going you can …
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 01:42 AM
1

Get into a gym and start exercising do some yoga Pilates hiit all that stuff keep your mind busy don’t stay idle for too long you can do this
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 01:38 AM
2

Newer to the single dad of three… and loving it . was it tough initially? sure it was brutal but getting away from the person who brought all that evil into my life is priceless . The freedom is amazing and I find dating women to be super fun do I want marriage again at this point ? No maybe some day but as of right now no why would i? Women get all the power and all of the rewards even if they are the ones who screw up . I have the space to be the best father I can be instead of trying to pick …
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 04:01 PM
2

You must stay strong pick yourself up and get moving . Get into that gym work on yourself we are here for you write it all out get advice but you must keep moving forward gym eat sleep redevelop your social life and stop ruminating your can do this !!
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 03:55 PM
3

23 !? Take some you time ! You got out early you got LUCKY most men get dragged through the mud for 15-20 years or more before she calls it quits and your stuck with a lifelong bill. It’s a blessing that no kids are involved learn from this and thank her for showing you that she’s not the right one for you get in that gym hit it hard eat right and sleep . Take care of yourself you CANNOT throw away some of the best years of your life worrying about this girl there are endless lines of women out …
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 03:20 PM
2

Towards the end I should have left much much sooner but as we all know it’s not that easy when you have kids and they threaten to take all the shut you own in court
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 02:01 AM
1

Sex without attachment is awesome if she sees how weak you are by dangling some ass in your face she will smell the weakness get your ass elsewhere move on
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 09:16 PM
3

Get away get away get away stay strong and move on
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 09:09 PM
2

Get out of there you don’t have any time to waste whoever files for custody quicker it’s usually better keep your head up don’t drag this through the dirt just to end up paying more
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 08:24 PM
1

You can do this this pain is what you need to grow get out there work on yourself you will be amazed at the person you become in the next few mins the next year the next two years !! Keep moving forward always forward
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 09:56 PM
1

Get out of there if she’s talking like that there is certainly far more than that going on then she’s letting on. Worry about you and only you gym sleep eat right hang with friends this is a long road and you will do great but you have to start now you are not saving yourself any pain by delaying the inevitable . Is what she’s doing right no can you change it ? No so start now it doesn’t matter how messed up you think it is .. just wait until you see how many people Side with her that’s even mor…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 02:53 PM
6

No way get out there and enjoy yourself stop making excuses find several beautiful 20 something year olds and enjoy the ride ! Girls want it just like we do don’t be fooled . Get out there and enjoy it ! Isn’t the saying something like you think she’s special ? bang 10 girls and you won’t even remember her name
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 06:19 PM
1

They’re not even done with the custody agreement He should wait Theres no reason to introduce them so fast it’s not like having the child will make their relationship any different or stronger at this point it’s more about getting a solid custody agreement in place and not frustrating the other party to where they could make it 10 times harder to get things done. Also, like others have mentioned that seems very fast to all of a sudden be in love with somebody. We are missing a timeline here. May…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 11:48 PM
4

Get into a gym and work hard stay consistent , eat and sleep right not just the I think I’m eating well but actually bout effort into it. Get with friends go out no expectations just have fun then read about divorce breakups and get into therapy . Do what you love to do out yourself first and have a routine not a boring mundane routine but gym eat sleep soocialize it will get better and easier . Also you weren’t in love with her just the fantasy you created around her you were complacent not tru…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 05:55 PM
1

You will do fine I’m in the middle of thst too the good friends will get it and those who don’t .. we’ll don’t belong in your life . Get into a gym it’s the best lift heavy things up sweat get some gym bro friends and talk about all the girls we see running around . these male relationships are important very important they make you a better man and husband b/f etc because you can let loose be a dude feel normal talk some crap no woman on this plant can provide 100% of your needs . You will come…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 05:42 PM
2

So awesome to hear this. Glad that it seems to be going well for you or really well for that matter. It’s also awesome that you found something that you truly love to do you feel good about it. Thanks for sharing the story. Hope to hear more updates.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 03:31 AM
6

Sorry to hear this get your stuff together and move on she’s using you for your stability and money get as far away as you can she ended it long ago but she is going to continue using you for your money
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 02:38 AM
1

Like others have mentioned, you’re in a tough spot either way though you don’t want to stay in a situation where you’re unhappy or truly miserable that doesn’t make sense either .I would suggest going and talking to a lawyer and seeing exactly what it is that you’re looking at here should you divorce .None of us here know the full details other than her not working does there seem to be other major issues in there as well?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 08:32 PM
2

Stop giving her attention validation or any sort of hope . Work on yourself spend as much time as you can cultivating healing and growth go to the gym workout hard eat right and sleeeeeep give your body the chance to recover . Look forward to the future where you will have a woman that wants to spend time with you and be thee for you ! You don’t miss the connection you miss the fantasy that pretending she cared made you feel, find a woman that exceeds all of your hopes and actually shows you lov…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 06:05 PM
5

It starts with taking care of yourself, which is probably something you’ve either unknowingly or had to neglect for a while, unfortunately. I read lot of books about these things to help get some clarity and understanding about the whole situation and then keep yourself in a great support system with friends, family and online groups like this which are incredibly helpful. therapy or counseling also isn’t a bad idea especially if you’re dealing with somebody with a serious or even mild mental il…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 11:46 AM
0

Nice work keep moving forward !
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 04:12 AM
2

Ahhh so many good ones
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 02:08 AM
3

There is a really good point here too -dating is an excellent tool to find out things about yourself that would otherwise go unknown or maybe take way longer to find out. I’m not saying to just use women to find things out about yourself, but when you’re vulnerable and in a relationship with somebody women are very good at uncovering things about your personality, good or bad, and you can use those experiences to continue to build yourself up into an even better man. Just don’t base your whole l…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 11:38 AM
1

Get to work on yourself. Leave that relationship in the past start working on yourself immediately get into a gym and exercise hard for six months a year is even better always stay consistent sleep and eat right don’t dwell on the past or what you could’ve done or should’ve done none of that matters you have to move forward Learn everything you can from this experience and MoveOn.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 03:26 AM
1

Another vote for hatebreed and Early slipknot eyeless, sic, people =$hit There are so many bands I could list a thousand how into metal are you
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 02:57 AM
1

Yesssss! That’s what I have been telling everyone men get into a gym asap and go for it the positive effects are unmatched !
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 01:12 AM
1

Get into a gym and go for it ! You will be amazed at what changes you can make physically when you eat right sleep and stay consistent for 6 months . Expand the area where you hang out visit new places talk to everyone - not the weird why won’t this guy shut up person but interact see what’s out there make some friends say yes more !
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 07:30 PM
1

Get a lawyer women change there minds fast ! Especially when they start talking to other women or guys trying to move in on them . As far as custody hours get to court first ! Submit everything first this always helps you to get a little more of the upper hand .. well at least in my state and as a male you have to push to get every bit of ground you can
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 07:28 PM
1

No problem ! You will see that in no time you will look back and go why didn’t I get out of here sooner !?
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 07:26 PM
2

Uhhhh stop talking to her immediately she’s trying to sell you a forever scenario and couldnt even hang without jumping into bed with other dudes . I would first cut her off in every way immediately no social media no phone call no text nothing don’t even let her see you give her nothing then I would I would work on myself Get into a gym build a strong body build and a strong mind make money and leave her in the dust !! You said “we “ but she was with other guys the whole time so it’s really a I…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 10:07 PM
2

I was going to mention this too classic bpd - lack of identity
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 07:49 PM
2

You can do it stop trying to fix the past you simply can’t now it’s the time to work on yourself and build yourself up so you never think about it again. Looking back only my creates stress and keeps your brain thinking about her she screwed up it’s your time shine be the best man and father you can dream of . Sleep right meditate read every book you can on healing and moving forward hit the gym hard and stay consistent
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 07:48 PM
12

I was going to say it sounds like possible bpd and if so the answer is run . Dealing with a woman and bpd is brutal the manipulation and gaslighting only get worse . She got you to feel safe buy a house and get her allllll comfy despite her attitude , financial negligence and inabailty to be nice or feel remorse. Speak to a lawyer and see what your situation is legally you don’t want to live walking on eggshells for the rest of your life it will eat your soul. Your a man you need to feel that wa…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 01:28 PM
1

Focus on you clearly she isn’t in the relationship build yourself up sleep eat right gym spend time with your friends and family. Your child certainly doesn’t deserve this . She deserves a father who is happy and has his cup full inorder to be the best man and father ! She’s more worried about her ego than taking care of you and providing a sound environment for your family do not let her drag you down she is only going to continue this behavior focus on you start the healing
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 02:21 AM
0

I don’t know if the custody agreement changes anything but in most states isn’t that considered kidnapping !?
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 02:18 AM
2

The constant criticism isn’t good for anybody. It sounds like she doesn’t know how to communicate effectively and/or she’s just being a jerk. It’s great that you read that book and you should continue to do work on yourself not only with reading and learning, but sleeping right and getting into a gym and really taking care of yourself. A lot of us can relate to the story. My ex also went crazy after baby number two and it spiraled quickly into a crazy crazy situation that I’m still getting out o…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 02:16 AM
1

Fully taking advantage of you and it’s gross . Random new guys around your kids who knows what type of people they are or what they could be thinking and now they have the home address too . She knows exactly what she’s doing and it’s not kool it’s completely inappropriate for the children and beyond confusing setting them up for a lot of dangerous habits when they are older
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 08:45 PM
1

that’s almost exactly how it started in my situation - post partum and it all spiraled from there she was a different person high highs and low lows then angry all the time snappy mean rude abusive really ,then it morphed into sneaky lying cheating extreme manipulation . She completely changed who she was went from quiet reserved hated tattoos to posting endlessly online provocative photos tattoos drinking every night I would suggest therapy to cope with HER abuse towards you you have to realize…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 06:51 PM
2

Go for it! say yes to things you may have otherwise been to worried yes because of your spouse! Life is out there go live it ! It’s cliche but time will help keep moving forward !
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 06:04 PM
1

Been there before if she legitimately has any type of personality disorder get out of there bpd, ptsd are no joke. Sometimes it doesn’t fully start to emerge until later in life and when it doesn’t stay out of their path . 0 remorse constant chaos and abuse and they only ramp it up to gain as much attention as possible the manipulative behavior is endless and they typical display narcissistic behavior cheating , lying grandiose things good luck !
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 05:40 PM
1

Stay away give absolutely no reason for anymore bs stay calm keep your voice low avoid any interaction unless totally necessary
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 04:14 PM
7

Great comments so far . Like others have said let the conversation flow if they go on about how abusive there ex is Theres a high probability there are loads more red flags , Promiscuity Love bombing Way to quick with attachment Pushing for all of your attention early on Quick to sleep with you (not a terrible thing) Lingering unresolved childhood issues Attachment issues Trauma PTSD Bpd (RUN) Crazy hair colors ( yes I said it Just a few but these typically lead to a woman with severe unresolved…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 04:09 PM
3

No matter how she’s feeling take care of yourself there’s no time to waste . Work on yourself gym sleep and eat right meditate make her jealous of your life, your health and making it all look easy
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 09:13 PM
1

You can do this ! use it as a tool to become an even better version of yourself do not drag yourself down into the weeds because of her actions meditate and after that keep yourself moving physical activity and or exertion like the gym are incredible for these things build a strong body and mind
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 03:12 AM
2

Sorry to hear this remember to take care of yourself spend time with friends and family get into a gym and eat right you will get past this but don’t let it consume you work hard on yourself and keep moving forward Also don’t let her fool you with nonsense she is lying and will continue to do so .
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 12:45 AM
1

Nice !
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 10:50 PM
3

Exactly ! She wants a ring and papers to guarantee. “Forever “ but won’t give you anything to protect yourself forget that
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 09:48 PM
2

Isnt the statistic that about 80% of divorces are initiated by the Woman? Of course she doesn’t want to sign it but it protects you and all of your assets. I know countless men who have lost everything or have to pay alimony to watch her take your house and move a new guy in .
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 02:40 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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