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Ashitaga Archive

View 10 posts and 202 comments by Ashitaga on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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18

Wow that sounds toxic and definitely like he was acting entitled. Good riddance!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 06:15 PM
36

I feel like some men just can't get over their past lover or something. One acquaintance I met a while ago claimed that all men will never get over their first girlfriend and then in all subsequent relationships, they look for women who are similar to their first girlfriend. That is just so weird...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 12:02 AM
30

I agree with you about applying boundaries to other areas in life. To live the life we want, it is so important to have standards and stick by them! I'm in a happy relationship myself and when I was talking to my friend who recently left a toxic NVM, I told her to uphold her boundaries. She thought I was just talking about a romantic partner, but I emphasized to her that life is so much more than a little romance and it's important to spend time vetting out people who should and should not enter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 11:58 PM
61

Thank you so much for pointing out the fact that it took generations of women before us to give us the opportunity in life that we have today! We need to cherish that and love ourselves enough to vet out anyone who doesn't add value to our lives, and spend our time and love with people who matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 11:53 PM
12

HA! Then he should learn to use “than”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:34 AM
13

That's great! I'm glad you realize now that you deserve better! Also, I'm glad that you are being cautious and not deciding that he's HV right away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 11:33 PM
13

This resonates with me so much! I am frustrated when women I know are thrilled to see their "amazing" boyfriend be a decent human being. WOW how amazing, he listens to you! Like any decent person should!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 10:49 PM
10

Unrelated but happy cake day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 04:47 PM
9

Haha this is exactly what I thought. When I first started dating my boyfriend, I was amazed at all this from my disappointment with men before, but he insisted he was just doing what he should as an adult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 10:43 PM
2

Haha I love that billboard idea 😂! They certainly need a PSA drilled into them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 05:08 PM
26

Wow I actually love the idea of a council of women vetting men trying to enter the dating pool! Then they would at least attempt to be decent human beings and if they don't, they'll automatically be rejected. Can you imagine: "Dear Useless Scrote, Fortunately, we have unanimously decided to reject your application into the dating pool. We had an overwhelming amount of applicants this year and could only accept men who are at least decent human beings. If you should decide to actually be a good p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 11:46 PM
5

I feel you. I experienced something similar in college when I had my first boyfriend...Thank goodness I left him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 11:38 PM
74

Yes, don't ever ask a man out and NEVER EVER PROPOSE TO HIM. The other day I saw a comment made by a woman on a YouTube video and she was advising on how to properly PROPOSE to a man...And then she said a woman has to buy the ring for herself as well!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 10:32 PM
8

This exactly. After my first boyfriend (NVX), I learned and started vetting men hard. If he has the audacity to be disrespectful he will be thrown in the trash as such.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 05:06 PM
7

Exactly! If he actually cares about you he'll listen and remember. Unfortunately, the bar is way below the floor it seems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 05:03 PM
296

That counselor knows!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 10:00 PM
2

That’s great that it worked out for you! Thank you, I’m definitely taking my time to be ready 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 05:08 PM
3

Is it really that prevalent for male doctors to cheat? I've worked at a hospital before and I didn't see that happening but maybe it happened right under my nose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 11:00 PM
13

Thank you for saying this :). I'm not in a position to get married yet and want to wait at least 3 years first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 12:00 AM
2

Yeah I think it’s just that a good majority of the brain development happens by 25, but definitely the brain still develops after. I would never date an older man. My partner is 1 year older and I will not date a man more than 3 years older.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 11:45 PM
29

Yes! I'm so thankful I found this sub. My partner tested the waters and asked me if I would marry him to which I replied "No" since I'm not nearly ready. When I'm ready for marriage, if my partner doesn't propose to me I'll just leave him. No questions asked. It's the classic "if he wanted to he would".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 11:14 PM
16

Yes, and most people do not finish developing their brains until around age 25. That's why I'm so happy I found FDS and am waiting until I am fully ready before considering marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 11:17 PM
4

This is horrible...Even my boyfriend is disgusted by men like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 10:10 PM
2

Thanks for sharing your story! I'm glad you finally got out of it. Honestly, even just telling him you want marriage is a way for him to try and manipulate you. Once I feel ready, if he hasn't proposed by then, I'm not going to explicitly tell my boyfriend I want to get married: I'm going to hint to him about marriage stuff and if he doesn't propose I plan to leave him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 10:03 PM
4

Yeah I've seen this happen often and a lot of people tell me this in person as well. Men KNOW whom they want to marry so if he's taking a long time and he already knows your timeline/expectations then it's a bad sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:53 PM
6

This is true. Near the end of my last relationship my NVX started cheating on me and didn't want to do anything intimate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 11:59 PM
5

Thank you for sharing this! Stay strong and remember you are human so don't punish yourself. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 11:46 PM
13

Thank you for this post: It's well written and easy to read! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 11:14 PM
59

I absolutely detest when people try to sweep this under the rug, saying something like "This does not need to be discussed as you should do what's best for you and your partner" since it's becoming a NORM for women to be a "superwoman" who works full-time, is the primary or sole care giver, takes care of the household and splits the bills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:56 PM
5

I love this post! You go queen 👑!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:02 PM
63

Exactly. Men hear us the first time, they just choose not to listen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:00 PM
178

I hope you’re okay...Report him if you feel comfortable doing so. Scrotes are disgusting...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 05:55 PM
64

Haha I actually heard from a friend who works at one of the dating apps that they actually rank the profiles themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 05:36 PM
17

When I was still dating I found this to be so true and honestly just hearing mainstream opinion now this is still true! Why does sleeping around casually have to be accepted? The cons to women are way larger than to men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 11:19 PM
13

This! So many LVM pressured me to get BC or "highly advised" me to be on BC. I ended up not dating any of them. Now with my current partner, when the topic of sex came up, I brought up BC and he told me he doesn't want me to have to go through the horrors of BC and insisted on having safe sex. So discussing BC is definitely a good vetting strategy for serious relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:47 PM
9

So true, which is primarily why I left my ex: the extreme disrespect!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:16 PM
4

Yeah some guys try on the 2nd date even 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:08 PM
3

Ohh that’s one way 😂👌. Although I would just take it as a red flag and zoom off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:08 PM
7

Thank you mods for all that you do! I really appreciate being able to discuss topics and learn within a safe space ✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 09:47 PM
45

Omg I felt that way before too! But now we have more self respect and they won't be taking advantage of us or manipulate us anymore :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 09:07 PM
28

One of my friends is falling for this love bombing and I keep warning her, but she wouldn't listen and agreed to be in a relationship with him...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 08:57 PM
188

Exactly! They show their ulterior motives and leave when they know you won't give it up easily. After I went on 3 dates with a guy who seemed to be a gentleman with good traits, he initiated sex and I firmly rejected him. After that his interested disappeared and his intentions were clear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 07:15 PM
43

Yes, what a queen! I wish every woman could be like this for her own sake as well as others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 07:13 PM
6

This happens so often. I once went on a date with a clearly misogynistic man who was not right in the head and he made morbid jokes about me and always commented on how large my breasts were but that "they could be bigger". What a joke. I fled so fast!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 06:59 PM
6

I was just talking about this a few days ago with a friend. Ugly DOES NOT EQUAL good personality. In fact, more men I've perceived as unattractive due to being unkempt, etc., had horrible personalities! When they take the time to actually look good, they will more likely have confidence in themselves and have enough self respect to respect you as well. Now my current boyfriend is handsome with an amazing personality!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 05:26 PM
13

Happy to help! Yes, I've definitely seen more quality guys in person. It's certainly different when you interact with men for the first time in person as you can quickly gauge if there's attraction and if you'd like to see him again, etc. I know the temptation of meeting more people online, but what I found is that meeting those men from online doesn't necessarily mean you have a better chance of meeting the right guy. Most of the high value men in my life do not use online dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 10:24 PM
31

Sure! I was stuck in a toxic relationship for nearly 4 years until I finally decided to stand up for myself and realized my life would be WAY better without him. So after leaving him, I focused on bettering my life: I worked hard to get a job I wanted, worked out regularly to keep my mood up and had a healthy social life spending time with friends and family, all while discovering new and old hobbies. My life was indeed way better. After maybe 6ish months, I felt ready to date again since my con…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 09:20 PM
69

This is so true! I just wish all women had and enforce high standards so we all could breathe easier. Men need to understand how to properly treat women and if all women only accept high effort, the LVM and NVM would be effectively weeded out of the dating pool. Right now it just feels like having to wade through heaps of trash in the ocean just to find an actual decent fish. That's when I decided to just focus on myself and I happened to meet the right guy on my journey through life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 04:35 PM
4

Sadly I can see that happening 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 09:12 PM
2

Procreating that way ain't a pro.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 06:36 PM
11

Yeah they just have the sick need to sexualize non-humans as well...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 06:52 PM
36

So true! If they see women on the screen who aren't there just to be sexy they get mad!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:24 PM
45

Yeah the angry furries are exposing themselves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:23 PM
23

Haha yeah I agree on the art aspect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:22 PM
104

Yeah it sets a horrible precedent: young girls would learn from that the need to be "sexy" in order to be a "cool" girl who gets along well with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:21 PM
73

That's sadly how most of the men who are upset about this are acting like!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 09:41 PM
50

Oh wow I didn't know there was a "rule 34" term! But I can see that applying to many scrotes. Men can be so vile!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:40 PM
74

Oh I didn't see that post but I sure believe it! They are super disgusting and all the men who angry-reacted to the post are outing themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:38 PM
2

That's fair. She was just voicing a radical idea because she was really tired of men in her field I believe (she works in a branch of medicine heavily dominated by men).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:41 PM
35

I'm happy for you, that's wonderful! I can relate because my current relationship is just so healthy and happy compared to my NVX.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 03:12 PM
1

I remember she said it as a general statement, as in men in general should just be castrated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 03:09 PM
1

Men would see this as absurd and inhumane for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 03:09 PM
26

I once spent a summer shadowing one of the nation's greatest chief surgeons who happens to be female and I'll never forget what she told me: So many crimes would stop happening if only all men were castrated!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 09:56 PM
219

Yes, this is such an effective method!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 04:24 PM
19

YES! If you're in your 30s and make no effort to be or become financially stable then there's no one else to blame but yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 10:38 PM
2

Yes, exactly! Save your breath and time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 12:39 AM
3

Exactly. I know there's an urge to do the same to them, etc., but honestly it just isn't worth it and no amount of "logic" or persuading is going to make them change. It's just better to leave them alone and only be with a man who already meets your standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 08:03 PM
6

Yes it is scary! I've had men stalk me at work. I reported them to HR but they have done nothing because the men "did nothing wrong yet"...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 11:25 PM
12

Omg yes there are plenty of misogynistic women, it's frightening! Actually in one of my female friend group chats, I sent a post warning about abusive relationships where the man pretends to not know what he's doing to manipulate the woman to take care of everything, e.g., household chores and child rearing. One friend agreed with the post, then another friend got defensive and said that the post is generalizing men and is wrong and she doesn't like it. She really emphasized tradition and said t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 07:35 PM
2

Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 04:23 PM
2

I tried, but she's ignoring what I'm telling her even though I'm able to point out the exact ways he's manipulating her. It doesn't help that the people around her are passive because they want to give "support" by supporting whatever she wants/decides on even if it's not right. At least she's open to hearing what I have to say, even though she disagrees with me. We can support our friends, but at the end of the day, you can lead a horse to water but you can't force it drink.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:38 PM
11

I think she grew up in a stereotypical Asian household that comes with not voicing emotions. So her new boyfriend is very vocal about his thoughts and she equates this to being emotionally expressive when in reality he is love bombing and negging her hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 07:23 PM
17

Such BS. Cheating is cheating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 07:08 PM
11

I agree! It's so sad...One of my friends left an abusive relationship last year and we were happy for her, but she just entered another abusive relationship despite being warned...Sad that most people won't even acknowledge the basic standards of respect and dignity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 06:55 PM
7

That's disgusting! She might be thinking something like "Wow he's been thinking of me all this time!" when in reality he is an emotional vampire like you said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 05:48 PM
6

I'm so frustrated with one of my friends. I thought she was leveling up, but now she has entered another abusive relationship even though I pointed out the red flags. She dismisses all of it and it's just sad. The problem is there are too many others who are enabling her...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 05:46 PM
4

He definitely won't treat her better. Especially after the initial high of meeting someone new wears down, he definitely won't treat her well behind closed doors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 11:49 PM
32

This is why they do stupid stuff and accept dares from other men to "prove" themselves to each other. Dumb. Reminds me of the video by Lilly Singh with The Rock where a guy acts differently with other men: When Your BF Acts Different Around His Friends (ft. The Rock) - YouTube
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 11:25 PM
8

Haha yes block and delete!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 07:07 PM
3

YASSSSS QUEEN!!! TAKE THE LIGHT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 06:06 PM
1

Yes, a guy I went on a date with was like this. He turned out to be pornsick and selfish so I blocked him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 05:46 PM
7

Definitely. One guy I went on a date with told me my choker was a collar. I blocked him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 10:44 PM
7

I like this content! Finally something wholesome :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 10:25 PM
1

It probably gives them more revenue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 07:37 PM
4

This was actually hilarious and I had to burst out laughing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 07:23 PM
6

That's good, I'm glad you're being proactive in shutting down these scrotes. He must be a serial cheater then...or at least trying to cheat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:25 AM
13

If anyone sees that, please report him! He thinks he's the bees knees but he ain't even cute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:04 AM
2

haha I love this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 07:10 PM
27

This always bothered me too...If she takes on the "form" of a small child she IS a small child!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 12:56 AM
26

I knew someone who went on a "date" with a guy from Tinder who asked her if he could film during sex...I can't believe the audacity and disgrace of these scrotes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 12:17 AM
4

Yeah this notion is just deeply rooted in society and embedded into our brains since birth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:33 PM
16

Like my mom says, don't build up a man because you're just getting him ready for the woman he really wants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 10:45 PM
2

That’s good he has someone encouraging him to behave HV 😊! And that just sounds so sweet!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 10:27 PM
2

Yes, it’s absolutely horrifying to wake up and have it all happening without your control or consent...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 10:24 PM
13

Also having sex with you when you are asleep/unconscious is still rape. My NVX did this when I was asleep a few times and I woke up to it...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 10:37 PM
2

That's great, I hope it all goes well! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 04:52 PM
2

Ah I see. It's okay, we live and learn :)! I hope that if you are currently dating someone that he's treating you right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 06:20 PM
2

Thanks! I used to go on a lot of dates before FDS but I realized those dates were going nowhere and I just felt used because most of them were absolutely garbage. With my current partner, I was not actively trying to date and was reconnecting with friends and acquaintances and we just happened to have mutual feelings after reuniting :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 06:17 PM
2

He sounds like he was being desperate. At that point it's just best to block him if possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 06:13 PM
2

This is true! I've heard from trusted HVM that they work hard to provide for their partner/family!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 05:11 PM
6

If he can't afford it, he shouldn't be trying to woo or date you. A HVM knows when he is or isn't ready to be in a committed relationship/dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 05:09 PM
3

Exactly! I'm glad you're in a good, healthy relationship! My current partner is very sweet and invests so much more into me than just money, so I feel comfortable being myself and being kind to him without catering to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 04:49 PM
2

Yes, it's definitely about so much more than money: a LVM is a LVM through and through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 04:46 PM
2

Yes! I was like that with my ex in terms of saving money, etc., and he ended up cheating on me anyway because he's a LVM/NVM. Now with my current partner he never asks me to pay for anything and even when getting me a gift, he's the one who insists on getting me something nicer/fancier than what I want! What a huge difference!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 04:44 PM
2

I can relate to this. It's hard to re-wire ourselves past what we learned from our parents/family/society and we have to constantly go against the grain on this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 04:41 PM
5

Yes! In fact, a HVM is eager to treat his partner well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 04:36 PM
8

Yes! A lot of men think a woman is "easy" if she doesn't need/ask for much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 04:33 PM
13

They think they are "feminist" if they don't help. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 07:57 PM
26

Yes! I think it's also a base for a lot of other flavors!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 07:42 PM
5

Oh wow, did he tell you that he himself would do that or that men in general do that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 05:11 PM
62

This is why my mother always told me to not feel bad spending a man's money because if you help him save, you're just helping him save money for another woman sooner or later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 12:54 AM
7

Truly robbing the cradle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 12:52 AM
12

Men who like it and men who allow it and think it's normal are absolutely disgusting. The male friends I trust have themselves called that kind of behavior disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 12:52 AM
12

I love this! Finally a meme with this picture that is taking the right turn!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 12:26 AM
7

This guy I went a few dates with over a year ago started making very passive aggressive remarks like this to me and eventually I found out he was pornsick, disgusting with no best friends. He told me himself he had no best friends and thought jerking off to porn every day was "normal". So many red flags. I dropped him fast. He kept calling me to ask for an explanation and I blocked him. We don't owe men anything. This sick jerk even insulted me thinking what he said was fine and made a joke abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 12:24 AM
6

Omg some men are just completely psycho! I'm glad you got out of that relationship!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 11:56 PM
11

I can empathize: I felt a similar way and I found myself healing faster through taking care of myself and growing my hobbies/career and spending time with friends. Of course there were times I would break down crying, but those times started happening less and eventually, as I stopped talking about him, I almost forgot about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 09:47 PM
11

Yeah my LVX literally begged me on his knees to stay and wrote down how he'd change in a "love notebook". Gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 09:42 PM
13

Oh wow, yeah just ignore, block and delete!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 09:39 PM
2

Thank you for your advice and sharing your experience!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 06:34 PM
3

I still appreciate your advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 05:52 PM
1

That's good, thanks for the input!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 05:52 PM
2

That's wonderful! I hope it all works out! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 05:51 PM
2

If it works for them and it's healthy, I think that's fine!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 05:47 PM
7

Thank you for sharing your experience and advice! For marriage, I have an ideal of what I want, but that's not what my life is revolving around. I'm currently focusing more on myself. You're right: 5 years is a long time, and a lot could change which is why I'm wondering if it's even worth it to continue being in my current relationship even if things are going well. I'm still vetting him to decide if he fits into my plans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 12:25 AM
10

Thank you, wonderfully worded :)! Yes, if he isn't up to my standards or starts to put in less effort I'm out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 11:51 PM
25

That's true. I don't want to reveal too much personal info, but I'm in my 20s and am aiming to get married more around my early 30s. I'm still vetting my current partner and thinking about at what point do I expect a marriage proposal later. We've both discussed marriage and I communicated to him that I am not ready for marriage until a few years later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 11:23 PM
13

Thanks! That's a good point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 11:12 PM
8

It just has to be weaved into the conversation, like talking about Twitch which can lead to dropping in questions about Only Fans then porn use, etc. A conversation about sexual matters doesn't have to be sexual itself if that makes sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 07:33 PM
4

Yeah I agree. Most avid porn watchers are shameless anyways and out themselves. For the ones who are not as outspoken about it, try to weave it into the conversation or casually drop in the question. Example: Perhaps talking about Twitch can lead to a conversation or question about Only Fans and/or what that usually means and then probe him about porn use.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 07:30 PM
26

I love how you worded this and captured the right message! Absolutely women should take the hard right because in a way, it’s easier on us to not have to go through pick-me man-pleasing hell!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 09:49 PM
5

I think it is...I haven't watched it so I don't remember the name, but I believe it is...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 12:58 AM
11

A man who cares about you in the slightest would want to satisfy you in bed. My current boyfriend always gets me to finish before him every time. And if I don't finish then he tries not to either because he said he's not happy unless I'm happy and satisfied. My ex would not care about my pleasure and would often be lazy and want me to do the work..eye rolls
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 12:56 AM
8

Seriously! And they think watching porn and masturbating every day is normal...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 12:54 AM
21

Haha it's one thing to like anime and video games. It's another to make it your life...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 10:36 PM
2

Honestly I started vetting friends too...I knew someone who entered a toxic relationship and I warned her beforehand. She didn't listen. She was also the type to never admit her mistakes and she couldn't take responsibility for her actions. The last straw was her mistreating a mutual friend. We had to slowly fade out that friendship...I think living a HV life includes HV friends too to be honest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 10:43 PM
1

Yeah, I think that in many cases, those women feel in some part that they deserve the treatment they get or they don't want to leave the relationship. Sometimes it's about clinging to past good times. Also, we don't truly know what they are going through. We can just hope that they see the men for what they are and kick them to the curb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 10:27 PM
1

I hope you're doing better now! Those men need to be kicked to the curb ASAP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 10:25 PM
2

I went through this with my ex...I'm glad we are now here on FDS and acknowledging that LVM and NVM have no place in our lives. We have to keep HV people around us to give good advice and encourage each other to be our best selves!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 10:24 PM
3

Oh wow, yikes...I guess at a certain point, she just has to realize it herself. You have done a lot for her and are a good friend. That's scary though about the baby part: I wish people would not have babies with LVM or NVM because those men (or man-babies) DO NOT deserve to have their lineage carry on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 10:21 PM
2

Yeah when you start making excuses or hide things that they do, that's a huge red flag. I'm glad you got out of that relationship! Yes, no more looking at potentials and no excuses due to bad childhood experiences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 07:30 PM
2

That's great that people don't expect women to change their last names there. I wish here was like that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:53 PM
1

Yeah it's work and it's changing our identities! If more women didn't change their name, it could become the new norm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:51 PM
1

Ah yeah I understand how you feel. I hope we can take more ownership over our names and identities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:50 PM
1

That's good to have the choice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:49 PM
1

That's interesting. I think whatever name you feel the most comfortable with/like the most should be the one you have. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:22 PM
1

I'm glad you like your name! Yes, unless it's something good, I'm not changing mine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:21 PM
2

So true. If they had to go through all that, they wouldn't do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:21 PM
3

Yes, it should be obsolete! Women almost always are the ones who take care of the children, not the father...And that's cool you chose your own name! I love that :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:24 PM
1

Ah yeah, I don't believe absent fathers should have the privilege of carrying on their lineage. I hope you are doing well and feeling happy with your current name!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:22 PM
1

Oh gosh, yes please, no juniors...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:21 PM
1

That always rubbed me the wrong way, like why does a dead beat dad get to carry on his lineage?! Absolutely rubbish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:20 PM
1

That's for the best. If I were in her situation I'd do the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:17 PM
6

That's tough...I hope she realizes soon that she deserves so much better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:16 PM
4

Maybe I'll light some scented candles and have myself a nice dinner with homemade chocolates!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:49 PM
62

I agree! When men are promiscuous with multiple women with whom they are not in a relationship with, they start losing their emotional connection to a woman through sex. However, some men don't even feel any bond with women they have sex with. My current partner never talked about sex or tried to force me into anything sexual. He's also the one who warned me that most men (or really...boys) who talk about sex/sexual things early on are those who don't associate emotions with sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:47 PM
99

For those in manipulative relationships, it can be hard to acknowledge the abuse. That's why having the advice and perspective from trusted close friends and family is so important. However, the women in these relationships have to accept the reality in order to walk away, but often they have distorted views of their relationship due to all the manipulation and gaslighting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:38 PM
40

I went through something similar with my ex. I was gaslighted so much, but I knew deep down something was wrong, especially since one of my best friends kept trying to point it out to me. I finally had enough, and with the validation and support from close friends and family, I left the scrote and never looked back. Not once. Blocked, deleted and never went back. So it's really sad to see women going through and accepting this behavior because of the fear of being alone or losing the guy when re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:36 PM
3

Yeah, there are some misogynistic views embedded in society. I know a lot of people in the US are still very sexist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:15 PM
2

Hmmm I'm not sure about degrees, but I do think the name would have to be changed on most official documents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:05 PM
4

Haha my friend and I were talking about something similar! If he's got a fancy/cool name, we might adopt it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:04 PM
3

I think as long as it is your choice, that's fine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:03 PM
2

Haha I like that :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:02 PM
2

It's a lot of legal work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:02 PM
5

That's completely fine in my honest opinion! As long as it's your choice. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:01 PM
3

Ah yeah unfortunately people just assume you took the man's last name...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:00 PM
4

That's great!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:59 PM
5

Yeah so many people assume you must take his last name...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:59 PM
9

That always bothered me...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:58 PM
4

Yes, it's definitely a choice and I think everyone should have the choice regardless of what men try to force on us, whether or not we choose to keep our name or change it entirely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:58 PM
3

Thank you! I knew of the concept but I didn't know it was called Choice Feminism. And yes, I agree on the naming convention!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:57 PM
4

Yes, it's legally changing our identity!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:54 PM
6

That's true. I respect people's choices, but I also disagree if someone is taking their husband's last name just because of tradition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:54 PM
6

That's great! Women have to bear the burden, so we should get to carry on our lineage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:53 PM
8

That's a good point! I always thought this passing down of the name is due to treating women as property, but I like how you phrased it and noted the generational wealth part; not inheriting wealth due to gender is stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:52 PM
13

Yeah, I believe it all stems from the history of women being treated as objects and hence property.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:50 PM
5

Yeah, I don't think it's fair at all to only keep the man's last name.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:49 PM
9

Yes, so many assume that their surname will take over! It's disgusting when they try to take credit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:48 PM
1

Yes, focus your energy on yourself right now! I promise you'll feel much better! That's what I did when I broke up with my ex almost 2 years ago: I focused on bettering myself and continued leveling up until I felt ready to date again. Now, I found my partner when I wasn't even looking! Keep leveling up and vetting out those NVM/LVM. They aren't worth your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 12:36 AM
2

I'm very proud of you for realizing your mother's unhealthy behavior and being a strong woman despite what you saw growing up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 12:27 AM
18

My ex was disgusting and thought porn was good, etc. Now, as someone around the same age as you, I've found a guy just a year older who actually thinks porn is disgusting! Lo and behold, he treats me way better than my ex. I know most guys we encounter think porn is fine. One guy I went on a date with said he watched porn every day and when I questioned it, he got defensive and asked if there's anything wrong with that...I blocked and deleted him, no further discussion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 08:24 PM
24

It said in the beginning that she thinks he's her soulmate, so she's probably holding onto him because of her feelings...At this point a part of her probably just wants validation or a "sign" to let go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 06:52 PM
14

Sending lots of love!! I’m so proud of you! Ending relationships can be tough, but you did the right thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 07:36 AM
38

Always check his actions. How has he been treating you? What has he done for you? Is he actually putting in the effort? Are you enjoying what he is actively presenting you in the present? These are all important factors and there are definitely more, but the key point I want to make is that you need to like him for what he is and what he does in reality. And this has to be in the present.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 07:32 AM
1

Thank you for sharing. I wish you well on your journey! I completely agree that if he wanted to he would. That's why my mom tells me that I should not feel guilty for a man spending money on me and that I shouldn't help him save money because if I do, then I'm just helping him save money for his mistress. So just buy what you want/need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 09:26 PM
4

Ah yeah, I had a recruiter at a career fair say that he'd "definitely" consider me for a job. Then later that night, he texted my phone number (he had my resume) asking me on a date at a local "cozy" coffee shop that has live performances at night...Yikes. He was just a couple years older, but the power difference was disturbing and it was not the right place to be hitting on a college girl. My friend also had a similar experience, except with a much older man, where he kept texting her to try a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 11:30 PM
10

That's good! No contact is the best approach after a breakup. It does you no good to keep in contact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:25 AM
3

We can give our friends advice, but ultimately it is up to them to make the move to do what's right for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:19 AM
2

Hmmm yeah I understand it's a tough struggle. I'm also a very social person. How I'm coping is besides interacting with close friends/family, I'm reconnecting with old friends and spending more time in my hobbies and career.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 06:50 PM
8

I understand what you're saying, but I think interacting with many LVM only weighs us down and wastes our time. Do you think you have enough companionship from family/friends? For me, I think life is very fulfilling even without a romantic partner because my companionship needs are met through healthy friendships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 06:20 PM
3

Yes!! It's one of those truths that needs to be brought to attention and internalized. It's not going to magically happen. As long as we keep working on ourselves, we'll get there. We just need to reinforce this in our minds and actions :). Also, I'm glad you were able to get out of that toxic relationship! No one should be begging you to stay or emotionally manipulate you; if anything, that just reinforces that he's not the one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 06:17 PM
12

Yes, it's important to be safe and responsible. I think if a man is recklessly going out right now to go on multiple dates, that says a lot about his character (no need to bother with him at all!).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 06:14 PM
7

This is so true! Being with a LVM/NVM will only degrade your life and drain you. We should only be including a man in our life if he is positively adding to it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 06:12 PM
5

These LVM just reveal their porn-sickness right off the bat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 04:19 PM
26

Yes, leave. They won’t change. I learned that the hard way after my first relationship. Honestly it does get a bit easier to drop them at the first sign of disrespect once you get used to not tolerating BS. Internalize queen energy and high standards
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 09:32 PM
35

This! And even then he might still think he’s above her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 08:00 PM
6

That’s a living hell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 10:58 PM
9

I love this!! This is so important and needs to be internalized :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 10:52 PM
1

This is so true! This is why it’s important to surround yourself with people who support what’s actually good for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 08:13 AM
9

It’s okay. As long as we acknowledge and learn from our mistakes, we can only grow stronger!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 11:14 PM
3

Thank you! 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 03:26 AM
25

Yeah! A guy I was seeing ended things with me two days ago, and despite being sad at the moment, the next day I was fine because I remembered that happiness is not something you find in another person but within yourself. So stay strong 💪 Find happiness in your own life and if the right HVM comes along then he can only add value to your already amazing life ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 06:33 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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