TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

BasketLow8411 Archive

View 2 posts and 230 comments by BasketLow8411 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
119

FINE AF FRIDAYSBasketLow8411/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 02:10 AM
1

QUEEN SH*TBasketLow8411/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:36 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
28

This is such a good tip!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 09:25 PM
29

Just want to add another layer of complexity. My ex would say in a heartbeat that he petitioned the court for time and didn’t get it. He could tell a whole story from his side, leaving out the details that he actually had to put in work to see the kids after being proved by multiple organizations to be an abuser. He has a new girlfriend, and either she doesn’t know the full story, or she does and she doesn’t care. I am 99.9% sure that it is the former. Just know: for the most part, if a man has …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 09:11 PM
23

Always want a visual of sex or oral (like they are watching p0rn).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/22 04:04 AM
21

Omg. I would freak. Seriously?? I think it’s worse for me because I have vision issues that have always made doing makeup super difficult for me so I’d be like honey, this is my best effort and now I see I need to put no more effort into this relationship. BYE!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 04:58 AM
44

WTAF. I have three daughters. Just no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 05:22 AM
21

Gawd i love bell hooks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 06:09 PM
99

I found ladies underwear in his pants pocket. It was NOT my size and I had never seen them before in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 05:29 PM
18

I have quite the story about getting rid of an unwanted roommate too. Similar, though mine also included an official Notice to Vacate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 10:50 PM
23

No. I will never start a relationship from a bar again in my life. Been there, done that, and it did not end well at all. Edited to add: I don’t drink except rarely and only with friends too, so this seems like it would be a bad way for me to meet anyone anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 05:52 PM
42

They made an explanation post a while back. I’d encourage you to search for that and read it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 03:22 AM
38

Ok never mind the rams are ahead now 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 02:53 AM
39

Wtf. The game isn’t even over yet…the Bengals are ahead by 4 with a minute and a half. Jesus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 02:52 AM
224

This is so bad ass. It’s never too late!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 04:33 AM
16

Put up with it? This list is IMPOSSIBLE. Literally impossible to have all of these things in one woman. Fight me on this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 03:24 PM
18

Oh I did this for my NVX at the beginning of our relationship. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 07:18 PM
58

I downvote the hell out of any comment I find that talks about “communicating” with men who are actively hiding shit or deliberately not partnering. It’s just so shitty. I tried it for over a decade and my “communication”, despite how “nice” it was, only made things worse. LVM/NVM just don’t care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 07:16 PM
9

Fuck. That is horrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 05:57 AM
26

Lydia was young and naive and also a HUGE pick me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 05:58 AM
116

Thank you so much, I needed to read this today. I might even copy this and print it out so I can continue to read it. I need this reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 05:37 PM
102

I found myself getting worried for her in the grey rocking section even though I knew it was going to turn out fine. With some men that would evolve into violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 12:11 AM
64

What the HELL. I am so glad you are okay and out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 06:42 PM
95

What I love about this is they can steal the lingo all they want, but FDS is much more than lingo, it’s a practice. A lifestyle. We will see how much being a “high value male” really works for their scroteness when we won’t have sex with them or have high expectations about literally anything. They will drop their masks quick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 06:11 AM
19

Yep. I read a memory post the other day about how I was taking care of my kids while working, trying to figure out dinner, and going to grad school. Not one mention of my then husband. Hindsight is 20/20, unfortunately. We are divorced now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 06:14 PM
16

To quote the immortal genius of Lin-Manuel Miranda: “what is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.” Just plant those seeds, sis. That’s the best we can do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 04:08 PM
502

Here’s how you fix it, sis. Divorce his ass. He’s abusing you. Do we need a rescue mission?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 09:36 PM
321

Damn she is in a good position with that prenup. What a sack of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 05:50 AM
66

Some threads of your story are similar to mine. Overall, I am much happier being a single mother as well. Way to go, sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 06:58 PM
1

Yep! Here it is: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatouchtest.html[implicit association test](https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatouchtest.html)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 01:28 AM
59

Not only is this misogynistic but very racist. I am so sorry you had to experience that. What an ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 06:54 PM
24

Oh good I was hoping she would break up with him. Her instincts are spot on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 06:46 PM
13

Great example of implicit bias here. It’s completely inundated in our culture. If you want to learn more about yourself, take a few of the Harvard implicit bias tests.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 06:43 PM
23

“What are the chances of him killing me if I try to talk to him about it?” Fuck. Seriously fuck. Why in the bloody HELL do women have to even ask these questions? This pisses me off so much. Do we need a critical mass rescue mission? I hope some comments are telling her that if her instinct says something’s wrong, it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 06:37 PM
15

Came here to argue this point too. A walk date anywhere is high risk for a woman. Even in the city there are alleys and the risk of getting lost with a stranger you don’t know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 10:28 PM
76

Hot damn. He is replying this way to everyone whose comments he doesn’t like. Jesus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 03:43 AM
26

I also will say that I am actively trying not to be a pick me. So I realize this is also more about pick me moms. I believe there is a lot of truth in this but the wide caveat in the title that says all sons of single moms are a red flag is off putting to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 03:38 AM
99

Yeah, this is a little rough. I’m a single parent too and while some of what you said has truth in it, it could also happen in dual families too. In my case, my teen is 1000 times better now that I’m a single mum because my ex was abusive. My kids are in therapy and I am doing my best to raise them in a high value way with none of these weird relationship things you talk about (besides maybe the super mommy part because I do so much to try and make up for the father being absent and horrid but m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 03:24 AM
34

Noooooo this is how my ex and I met. Don’t do it, sisters!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 05:38 PM
14

Really? Even without listing all of these amazing women, what about WW2??? When all the men were drafted, WOMEN held up the workforce. What feminist is teaching you that women didn’t start working until the 60s?? Sheesh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 06:57 PM
202

This makes me so incredibly mad. As a mother of three, it is so fucking hard for most women to lose post baby weight. And do you think we have the time or energy to work out? Especially if we have a scrote like this as a partner? My partner would barely watch the kids so of course I couldn’t work out. And honestly, I still struggle with hip and back issues years after my last was born. Some days it just feels impossible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 05:34 PM
6

Pretty sure this is gonna be my ex at some point. VERY concerning symptoms…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 05:54 PM
21

Gawd this terrifies me for my three daughters
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 03:14 AM
111

Omg this spoke to me and my life situation. Thank you! 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 03:21 AM
49

This was a little triggering for me. My marriage was like this. I caught him watching porn once and talked to him about it and never saw a sliver of it again—not because he wasn’t doing it though. Combination of alcohol and porn addiction left him not able to perform a lot of times and when he was able, it was just sex. No deep connection whatsoever. Porn inspired sex. Good news is that I’m out, I know what it was, and I won’t tolerate it anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 05:56 PM
14

I literally had to do this with my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 09:12 PM
39

I have enough faith and perseverance to believe that as the pendulum swings back, it will always swing the other way again. Social justice fights are always long-standing, long-suffering fights with small to big wins or setbacks along the way. Generations from now we may still be fighting for this or deeper in it, but at least we will have taught our friends, our kids, our students, etc to keep fighting. But yes, it is draining. And it is upsetting—and keep up the fight, ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 03:16 AM
11

Yep, can confirm from personal experience. 🚩🚩🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 02:52 AM
10

Ugh, I was watching this earlier this morning (sent to me by a friend) and only got through the first minute or so. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 03:08 AM
201

The more I communicate, the better the relationship will get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 01:06 AM
104

Hah. I have a great one. I had been telling my ex for so long about emotionally intelligent, nurturing, trauma informed parenting. Im a little bit of an expert on this due to my profession. I’m talking years of attempts for coaching around this. He scoffed at all of it and then when we went to trial for divorce the judge essentially told him he needed to read some literature about and consider trying a more nurture based parenting style. For context, he was also demonstrably abusive to our three…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 07:50 PM
20

I hope she breaks up with him. What a control freak. Who cares about his family and the hair towel? She does what she does and that’s who she is, take it or leave it. It’s not like it’s something that is super horrible or hurts anyone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 05:21 AM
47

Ugh, this is so horrible. I am so proud of her for standing up to this entitled dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 06:28 AM
3

W.T.A.F.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 06:36 AM
7

What if you get sick or permanently disabled, chronically ill or something and can’t work and have kids and he still can’t hold down a job? How will you and your family survive?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 06:25 AM
10

Well there are LV people all over the political spectrum but I wouldn’t say that all liberals are like what I described. That feels pretty icky, to be honest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 05:37 AM
9

Ack the heartburn. I don’t miss that either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 02:43 AM
25

Awww hell yes they do. Once you get to the third trimester the baby is squishing everything. Organs and hips and everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 12:53 AM
58

JFC. She’s MAKING A HUMAN. Pregnancy can be incredibly hard. I can’t imagine having that kind of a job while pregnant. I had a sedentary desk job and it was still rough during some of my pregnancies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 12:23 AM
10

Also that is horrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 07:39 PM
15

Which stinks because he did buy some stuff and go to some marches. But that was all for public consumption. Private relationships were way different. Ladies, if your man acts differently at home than he does in front of others or the public, RUN!! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 07:38 PM
71

I agree with an earlier poster to make sure you pay attention to his actions. My NVX said he was liberal and progressive, bought merch, even did some marches. But personally, he was very authoritative, stonewalling, refused to listen to my opinion over half the time, and ended up abusing our kids in anger. So yeah. Not really super democratic or pro woman when it comes down to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 05:56 PM
35

When I was separated and not yet divorced, there was no way I was ready nor even thought it was a good idea to pursue a relationship of any kind. I find it very LV behaviour to do that—it means there has been very little or no introspection and self-improvement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 08:17 PM
31

Well this sucks. I can’t ever have a male relative with me when I get house calls like this done. My closest male relative lives states away. But I do have pepper spray and always keep my phone on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 04:47 PM
87

“You can’t cOmMuNiCaTe your way into changing the fundamental traits of a person.” THIS. I can unfortunately confirm this from personal experience. Over a decade of personal experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 05:36 AM
5

That is the nastiest! What in the actual fuck? I shouted out loud “NAH” when she got to the toilet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 04:04 PM
160

WHILE SHE WAS UNPACKING GROCERIES
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 05:35 AM
46

Learn from my marriage and divorce. Granted, I did not have FDS before meeting and marrying this guy and wouldn’t have married him if I did. He was tolerable for years and then the mask came waaaaay off. Here is the scene: he was unemployed when we met, I had an ok paying job. He got a job shortly after for crap pay. Eventually he got a better job which he topped out at when we divorced. I also got a better job and we make about the same money per year. We moved into a new house where he was goi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 10:11 PM
48

Let me tell you, I am so fucking glad my parents taught me and my siblings this growing up. I would have been completely fucked in my divorce if I didn’t have my own career.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 05:38 AM
8

This was a great example, thanks for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 05:44 PM
32

So true. Not gonna lie, I am so glad to be divorced from my spouse because of this. He definitely had unresolved bowel/stomach issues, which may or may not have been a result of his alcoholism—it was similar to this OP’s description. Speaking of alcoholism, he also smelled always of a dive bar, brushed his teeth only once a day, and had withdrawal sweats that leaked through to the mattress and left ugly yellow stains. I couldn’t kiss the man without feeling grossed out by the end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 05:07 PM
11

What?? She’s still with him? Ugh, I was about to say I felt super sorry for her but that is horrible. Girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 04:17 PM
13

If you have to say “I’m sorry, ok?!?” you are 100% not sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 07:45 PM
28

What the fuck??? Opening a damn jar of pickles and comparing her to a baseball card? Damn. That is so low shit. And it’s supposed to be “funny”, I can tell. But that’s horrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 03:03 PM
11

🤯this makes so much sense. Why hadn’t I thought of this before??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 04:43 AM
2

Girl, it’s not failure. It is so good that you realized this and left now instead of ten years down the road married with babies. Believe me, I know from personal experience. This is not failure, it is opportunity. You only have anywhere and everywhere to go after this. Sending you lots of love!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 04:10 AM
39

Not a bf for me but my father: he overheard me telling my mom that I was interested in a particular kitchen gadget someday and it showed up in the mail less than a week later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 07:16 PM
2

This is a tough one. I’m glad some of the comments have mentioned how it’s difficult sometimes for women to leave. Here’s the deal…I stayed in an abusive relationship for a while. First of all, I believed for a while that maybe by talking with him and modeling good behavior I could bring him along (yeah, I know…but I know better now). Second, and more importantly, I have a step daughter. A step daughter who I could not bear to leave because he was emotionally abusing her the most, and if I left …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 04:06 AM
10

Doesn’t work with abusers either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 09:06 PM
17

2nd grade. He ended up following me around the playground and “proposed” to me with a ring made of string. He was annoying and inappropriate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 05:48 AM
29

Sweet, free coffee!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:56 PM
67

Yaaaaaaas great comeback!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 04:25 AM
6

What in the holy fucking asswipe Olympics is this?? Lol. This is kinda cracking me up actually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 04:24 AM
9

This is the one that just gets me 😡😡😡. My dad survived cancer and I can’t imagine not caring. Geez.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 04:18 AM
38

WHAT. Refugee porn? That is sickening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 05:03 PM
14

Absolutely. This is exactly what was lacking in my relationship with my NVX. I won’t settle for it again. Leveling up, ladies!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 04:49 PM
62

Jesus Christ men are weird. What in the actual hell??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 04:04 AM
192

My ex has a bio kid with special needs and has been divorced twice (one by me). And guess who has his kid? Edited to add: me. I have his kid. My step daughter. Because my NVX is, well, NV and his own child would rather stay with me (said child is a teen) and he has abuse issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 03:01 PM
42

I’m about 90% sure that’s why my ex’s bank overdrafted all the time. Thank goodness we had separate accounts but whenever he asked me, I’d give him extra $$ 🤡. That plus alcohol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 04:34 AM
23

See? Literally life or death situation here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 10:27 PM
12

I understand. I was in a really bad, emotionally abusive relationship (married) for 12 years. But, being on this side of it now, free, is so much better than not. I don’t think she will be a failure either. Better to be broken up and single than dead from COVID because your asshole SO wouldn’t “let” you get vaccinated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 10:23 PM
49

What in the actual fuck? This is abuse, straight up. She needs to figure out a way out. This is one of the most despicable things I’ve read on here lately. Also: what is she hoping to work out? He literally could be killing her. The delta variant is no joke and is taking out people her age. Help her get the fuck out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 09:05 PM
24

So true. SO true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 05:00 PM
179

I swear, the next man that says some stupid ass shit like this to my face is getting a nut kick. That is NOT a joke. That’s disgusting. Edited to add: I’d deck a pick me for saying this crap too. This is so demoralizing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 03:59 AM
4

Oh gawd. This is probably my ex, only this guy is much more articulate. I’m 100% sure he is out there telling people that I won’t let him see his kids. The truth is that he is the one not following our parenting plan. It’s restricted because he harmed the children (again, he’s probably telling some warped version of that to his public), and he just can’t get it together to actually see them. Do not believe a man who says he is the victim of his ex, unless you have irrefutable proof. And then sti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 06:17 AM
61

YES. Thank you! There are so many MMIW and slim to none get the news coverage that Gabby and other women who look like her get. It’s a problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 04:30 AM
131

One on the way? What the actual f*ck?!? There are so many things wrong with this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 04:43 AM
221

I love Merriam Webster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 02:00 AM
2

In my state you can pay $11 to run a quick background check on someone. Pretty sure it’s only criminal records, so things like DUIs and defaults in payments won’t come up. But you have to have a full name and DOB.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 12:02 AM
131

I’ve seen it work once in a couple I know. First things first, he is a true HVM. The reasons he stayed home were because his wife wanted to pursue her dreams and career further. It was after their youngest was a toddler, not an infant anymore. They have switched a couple of times as each of them have taken turns pursuing their passions. Now that their kids are all school aged, they both work. I have to say that I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this in any other situation besides deep thought, pa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:21 AM
16

That is just ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 02:01 AM
45

Thank you, I fully plan on doing this when I start to date again. One of the things I have been doing to level up is to change my relationship with alcohol. It’s been pretty easy, as I’m really a social drinker. The problem is that my NVX husband was an alcoholic, so I found myself drinking more often. Now, I rarely have drinks during the week because my rule is that I am only going to have a drink with friends or family. So this one works well for me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 06:10 PM
43

So very true. My abusive NVM ex proposed to me within 10 months of dating and to my pick me self at the time, it was perfect. Several years down the line, I fully realized it wasn’t. He wanted to and did, but not for me, for himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 04:14 PM
323

Yes, I think she’s dead and he likely killed her. It’s too suspicious that he isn’t helping at all and didn’t report her missing at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 04:18 AM
3

It’s too bad I hadn’t read that book before all of this happened. But now I have!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 08:28 PM
33

All the more reason to read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. It’s helpful and can prepare us to notice abusive behaviors while dating. And you better believe I am teaching it to my daughters before they date too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 05:45 PM
10

I wish I could tell you details of my ex finally agreeing to therapy and what resulted from it. But I don’t want to get specifically personal. Let’s just say he only did it because I had left him and this was one of my conditions. Silly me. I suppose I’m thankful though, because his “therapy” helped teach my what a true, manipulative asshole he really is. And how much a therapist needs to be in touch with an abuser’s partner or ex partner so they don’t get the wool pulled over their eyes and can…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 05:42 PM
14

I also liked Moana for this reason. Maui was totally LV at the beginning and she didn’t take no for an answer and tried to hold him accountable for what he did. He never believed she could do it. And when he walked away she still did it, for herself and for her people. And he learned from her (hopefully). Moana is such an amazing leader for women and girls!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 01:52 AM
40

And Frozen II!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 07:31 PM
16

Committing to exercising 3-4 days this week. I’ve been sick and haven’t had care for my kids this last two weeks and I am so ready to jump back in to my favorite exercise!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 07:03 PM
23

My father. He heard me mention on the phone with my mom that I loved a specific thing he had (something practical for the house) and the same thing showed up in a package for me two days later. Edited to add: this is not the only thing but a very recent example.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 07:58 PM
110

We should totally scare off scrotes like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 04:19 AM
37

FFS. The first thing I noticed is that in his “ill start” description he doesn’t list his weight. But it’s required of the woman potential bangmate. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 03:53 AM
23

Or, “I didn’t bring it up because I didn’t want you to make a big deal about it. And now you made it a big deal.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 04:19 PM
12

Following!! I want some good recommendations too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 08:02 PM
56

Yes, absolutely. After ending a horrible relationship a while ago, I second this wholeheartedly. Without my family and friends it would have been so much worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 07:54 PM
128

Nice job keeping your boundary! I aspire to your strength when I start dating again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 06:24 PM
2

Right? That’s what I am thinking too. Who let this woman hating shit get published? Probably another man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 05:59 PM
64

Update: I tried reading more and failed again. I just can’t with this ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 04:07 AM
155

I could not read this whole article. It is teeming with blame on the woman even though he claims to leave judgment behind at the beginning of the article. He gives that benefit of the doubt to men but then blames the woman for gaining pounds and ageing and “not permitting” her husband to watch porn. This is misogyny, straight up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 03:03 AM
19

Thank you! This is the only reason I am not filled with hate for my NVX’s friends and family who turned on me post split. He was abusive, and they “never saw it”. But of course they didn’t! He never acted like that with them. So part of me can’t fully blame them but I wish they knew me better than to be the conniving bitch he made me out to be to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 04:20 AM
63

This one tugs at my heartstrings a bit. I know why…because I was this woman. But for twelve years, not one. In fact, if I look back at our relationship, I’m pretty sure the main reason my NVX married me was for money and/or child care. He turned out to be an abusive, addicted shit in the end. And, I have taken responsibility of all three of the kids, only two of which are biologically mine. The oldest, she wants nothing to do with him whatsoever. I am her only parent as bio mom has been fully ou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 03:59 AM
104

Gawd I hate this. I had to tell one of my kids today to be careful of road rage too. I honked at someone passing me on the right when I was waiting for a pedestrian and it was absolutely the right use of the horn. And, at the same time, I was worried as a woman that I would enrage that driver and spark a road rage incident. Why are men so violent and entitled that we have to adjust our lives to be extra careful??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 02:37 AM
12

Oh myyyy goooodddddd, someone please tell me she left him. PLEASE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 01:12 AM
21

“Women available are given to these men”. SERIOUSLY. Like we are a fucking car, trophy, a right? Like we are the treatment to cure men’s issues? This pisses me off to Mars and back. Seriously fuming over here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 11:15 PM
77

I’m not sure what FDS’s official stance is but let me tell you, I am so happy that I prioritized my career. I was in a bad relationship (I didn’t have FDS before when I was in my 20s and married this man). It wasn’t horrible to begin with but ended up with me dealing with his alcoholism and abuse for a while before I finally broke free. I have three kids. The ONLY reason I was able to break free and am thriving right now is because I have my own career and money supply. He didn’t pay child suppo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 04:26 PM
8

I am positively frightened about going on an activity date as a first or early date. Too much opportunity to be alone and away from others (like hiking). No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 04:35 AM
13

I’m reading through it a second time now and I second this! It’s just so valuable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 08:37 PM
12

Gah bummer. It’s a good idea to do self defense either way. Thanks for starting this thread!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 08:36 PM
30

I carry pepper spray. But I am following this too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 08:21 PM
3

Glad to see Octavia Butler on here. Kindred is amazing!!! I’m going to read Fledgling next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 10:26 PM
36

I have kids. Girls, too. I am a single parent and I don’t have many “couples” things that I do except people I trust already. Here is how I help cope with this: TALK with my girls. Be open and honest about how they will be seen and my experiences. All age appropriate, of course. But the more they know, the better. I’ve built trusting relationships with them and had lots of difficult conversations about body image and racism and sexism, etc. This is how I do my best to raise girls who will be kno…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 07:58 PM
207

Yeah this one is bad too. Just reinforces that men see us as property.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 07:39 PM
36

Gross. The last one with the Ferrari analogy. Super gross! His justification is that he doesn’t want all that trouble, not that he is DECADES older than them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 07:38 PM
17

One is biologically his only but she will have nothing to do with him because of his abuse. The other two we share. But they are all mine ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 04:03 PM
25

Gross mansplaining there. Sorry you had to put up with that. Curious: why do you still talk to your ex?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 05:03 AM
127

Ugh. I’m a single parent and this makes me so mad. I am never falling for this again. My ex was a single parent when I met him and pretty much this was the case. I was just the idiot that fell for his lies (and didn’t vet properly because I didn’t have FDS). Now I have three kids to take care of and I am not complaining but I will NEVER be with a man again who expects me to be his foundation of care for his life or kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 05:01 AM
20

Very good points. I called out a man on a relationship based sub the other day for insisting that men had different expectations at work. And that because he had to take care of his kid(s) and was not as present at work, he had to find a different job. He insisted that women don’t experience this (which is BS, that is just bad workplace culture). Plus he shared that he was a single dad during SUMMER BREAK and he had made it through that. What about single moms who do it all, all the time (like m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 08:27 PM
11

Same, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 06:01 AM
31

In my case (meaning my ex), it was stains from excessive sweat due to his alcoholism. It looked like pee stains only in the wrong spot, like up by the shoulders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 02:18 PM
37

Maybe she’s a guy masquerading as a woman?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 04:56 AM
26

Add “keeping separate accounts but never having joint purchasing discussions” to the list. My LVX would scoff at me and refuse to have a conversation about buying bigger purchases and just choose to spend it. No conversations about whether we need it, whether we could save for another purchase or vacation, etc. Just full on spending as if he was single and didn’t have a partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 10:03 PM
52

What in the fresh misogynistic hell is this???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 02:57 AM
9

Like many here, I am skeptical. It’s also because of Bancroft’s book. Abusive behaviors are not an “anger management” problem, they are an ABUSE problem. In which, a man believes he is justified in breaking things and intimidating his partner because of his beliefs about women and how they should be. 100% believe that he wouldn’t break things or punch a wall in public. That is abuse, not anger management.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 05:52 PM
2

I’m curious too how to do this as a single parent. I have 3 children and am divorced. NVX is not really involved at all. Any man will notice that I am a single mom and wonder why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 05:37 PM
2

Thank you for this. I am a really open person a lot of the time and so I know I will struggle with this when I start dating again. I’ll have to learn how to restrain myself and slowly vet and gain trust.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 05:34 PM
5

Fuck that! Black Panther is the most amazing movie! It’s the ONE marvel movie I INSISTED on going to see in the theatre.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 03:59 AM
5

Are you freaking kidding me? That sounds like something out of a sitcom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 05:01 AM
13

Same here. My NVX said in multiple court documents that I "admitted" there was no DV in our house against me (even though he beat my kid and emotionally abused the other two). I said he never HIT me. I did not say he didn't emotionally abuse me too. I definitely didn't realize how bad it really was until I was out of the situation and now I can name it as domestic abuse. He was also proud of the fact that he never hit me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 04:55 AM
2

I am so glad you said this. I could never put into words why I disliked getting lingerie. Now I can!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 06:17 AM
49

What. The. FFFFFFFFF. Not cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 06:15 PM
1

Thank you so much. Very helpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 06:13 PM
1

Holy moly, I am so sorry. Thanks for your story though--it helps me. My standards will be as high as fuck when I start dating again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 06:13 PM
20

This scares the ever loving shit out of me. I have two younger children. It makes me really scared to date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 05:34 AM
11

So many of the situations she shared her resonate with me and my last relationship. Thanks for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 05:02 AM
8

Good reminder! I am in a post-divorce dry spell on purpose but I am totally here for the dating aspect. Because someday I want to get back out there again and I DO NOT want to make the same mistakes I made before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:22 PM
233

I think a lot of them get "frustrated" too. Now that their sex object is pregnant, sometimes they can't have as much sex anymore or find their partner growing in ways that they don't like. It's probably not the only reason, but I know I had a lot less sex while pregnant. Kind of goes to the "think with their dick" MO, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 07:12 AM
7

GROSS. Omg. This is waaaaaaay below the bar, sis. I agree, RUN!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 02:20 PM
49

Yes! I am re-reading it currently after reading it a few months after my ex and I broke up. It’s fantastic. I always recommend it not only to women who have experienced emotional, physical, or sexual intimate partner violence, but also to those in “helping” professions (doctor, teacher, counselor, priest, judge, lawyer, etc.) so they can learn to understand what they aren’t seeing and how they can support women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:54 PM
34

SAME. I guffawed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:39 PM
16

Ok I have heard this mentioned a lot here but I have a question: do you think it is really bad for people with anxiety? I have a tendency to over think things and plan for the worst and I haven’t read it yet because I feel like I might let it keep me up at night. Thoughts?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 05:07 AM
19

What in the actual fuuuuuuuuuuu? Gawd! Why am I still shocked by the depravity??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 05:02 AM
7

Thank you, yes I have! I am on the way up for sure, and finding FDS has just helped me solidify that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 03:59 AM
12

Yes unfortunately my last relationship ended during COVID with DV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:31 AM
7

Sis, I know how you feel. I started to feel a bit bad when my stbx starting getting child support garnished and he kept saying he was broke. But to be honest, they made their choices. It is hard for us to tell ourselves this sometimes, but we dealt with so much, and they made their choice to walk out, be abusive, and not pay us anything to support ourselves or our children. Try and tell yourself that consistently when you feel bad about any money coming your way. It was HIS actions that got him …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:41 PM
216

My father took such good care of my mother during cancer treatments. He turned into her personal servant basically (we still have a joke about it) and went to every appointment with her for a long time. It disgusts me to think of men leaving their wives during that time, it is so fucking stressful, especially if it is unknown if the treatment will work…it’s just one of the most disgraceful things I can think of. I can’t have sex while my partner is FIGHTING FOR HER LIFE so I guess I should ditch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 04:18 AM
81

I fell into this trap not with a ring but with a diamond tennis bracelet. Ex bought one for me during our separation to try and make up to me. I told him I didn’t want it and I really wanted him to invest in our relationship and make some change. That never happened. He asked for it back a month later and I gave it to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 04:57 PM
55

I still haven’t done anything with my ring, and I’m post divorce. Good ideas here! Honestly though, I was with such a NVM that I kind of expect to take it to a jeweler and have them tell me it’s cubic zirconia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 04:55 PM
37

Maybe we should do some reverse psychology shit then and tell them not to dote on us like queens…haha! It definitely wouldn’t work with an LVM though because he’d just use it as an excuse: “she said not to treat her well so I don’t pay attention to any occasions, take her out, etc.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 04:52 PM
8

Trust is so important. But I still didn’t give my kiddo a phone until he needed it. But he did have access to electronics and let me tell you, the more I tightened my grip, the more secretive he was. When I let go and trusted him and talked to him in a kind and caring way about my Internet concerns, he became a way more open and trustworthy. Right on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:39 AM
3

Yep I waited til almost 16 for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:37 AM
53

I have a son. My best advice is to model well and lean in to your relationship. Be there for him, listen to him, love him, and surround him with HVM and women. Don’t shy away from talking about emotions and racism and sexism and injustice. Don’t push him to be something he is not. Help him see his worth and follow his lead as he grows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 10:02 PM
17

Oh my goodness. I am so SO sorry about this. I sighed out loud in despair for you. This is incredibly wrong. When my breakup with my husband happened I didn’t eat for a few days either. I was physically sick and couldn’t do much but cry…mine involved physical abuse, which I NEVER thought would happen. Hang in there. We’re rooting for you, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 09:59 PM
7

Having married and divorced a single father I can corroborate this. Now that I am focusing on leveling up, I am starting to know and set some standards around what I want. It’d really have to be that diamond in the rough single dad for me to even consider it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 04:14 AM
8

Oh I love him already! So awesome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 03:26 PM
28

Ugh, I don't know how many more I can take of these. It's so bad. And...I know we gotta be real about the depravity. It's just so depressing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:53 AM
1

Planning on doing the same soon!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 04:18 AM
50

This is a good point. I think paying attention to little details that are off, and our own intuition are probably the best meters for us to use. I think when I think of “snooping” a phone I really mean he is freely and not over pointedly abundant with his “see look, I have nothing to hide” vibe...if it’s casual and authentic then it’s more believable than overly faked. But damn, it’s so hard to trust...we must continue to vet. But I hate that we have to be practically detectives to vet and trust…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 01:32 AM
58

Oh boy. I feel this so deep down. I mean, I broke my wrist when my baby was still breastfeeding and my “partner” (now ex) would get all pissy that he had to wake up and give the baby to me for nighttime feedings. Seriously?? Edited to add: AND I had to shake him awake. Like he didn’t hear the baby screaming in the bassinet right next to our bed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 03:37 PM
3

I second this! Just read it last month.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 05:44 AM
32

Ohhhh yes. But it is so hard to see the true anger until much later. With my ex, I doubt I saw the real thing until a couple of years in. He has absolute tantrums—stomping around the house and throwing things. After he left, I even recognized that loud noises in the house made my stomach churn because of his shit. Please do notice the little things...they do tend to turn bigger later on. Edited to add: when he’d get really angry at me too, not only would he do the stomps tantrum but then spend t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 05:02 AM
34

Yes, my father, who is a true HVM. Maybe a few coworkers as well. We’ve got a good group at work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:33 AM
90

Gross! I hate the pressure we have to look pre-pubescent for the scrotes out there. Hell no! I am doing what I want with my pubic hair, thank you! And the fact that you WANT me to look like a kid down there is depravity at its finest. Vomit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 09:25 PM
2

What in the fresh bloody hell is this? God, the depravity!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:44 AM
16

I think the snooping strategy is the most interesting to me. My NV ex would NEVER let me look at his phone. Which is ridiculous now that I look back at it. Seriously huge red flags flapping right in my face...and what’s so sad is that I have absolutely nothing to hide and wouldn’t give a damn if my partner looked through my phone. The only thing they would find is regular shit. From now on, if a man consistently hides his phone from me again, I will assume it is bad and say goodbye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:58 PM
67

Very, very true. I know this by personal experience, unfortunately. And when I named it as domestic abuse later (after I recognized what it was), he accused me of changing my story to benefit myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:08 AM
67

Seriously!! This is so bad! Her period causes her so much harm and he doesn’t give a flying f*ck. I’d tell this woman to RUN and come to FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:13 PM
33

Yep. I just shared that too before I read your comment. I think I heard it on a TED talk or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 11:19 PM
21

I have heard this story on a TED talk. Apparently they also had to install soft flooring because the judges could hear the women walking in with their heels... but I am glad this has changed things for the better eventually!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 11:19 PM
17

My therapist said whenever I have a negative or anxious thought about him in particular, I should journal three to five things that I am happy about myself or want to do with my life. Re-writing the script in my brain, literally!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:32 AM
43

Yes, 100% yes. Just a small example: NV ex says he believes in science (climate change, etc) but refuses to get vaccinated. And also doesn’t do anything to protect/reverse climate damage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:21 AM
16

Me too. But now I’m headed in a much better direction. I think the next step is to think of not just the abusive/very bad behavior that he exhibited, but what would I replace it with if I’m looking for a new partner? Better yet, how do I foster those admirable qualities in myself and my kids?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:19 AM
63

The last straw was beating my child. But before that? A nice long list: gaslighting, passive aggressive communication, anger issues, alcoholism, not doing his share of work around the house and yet complaining that it looked a certain way, only touching me when he wanted sex, the list goes on. I tolerated a whole hell of a lot in the name of lord knows what. But NO MORE. I kicked him out and he has been GONE ever since. We don’t even talk anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:06 AM
77

Oh, the grabbing bits without other initiation. I hated that. It makes me so sad to know so many women have experienced things like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 01:56 AM
22

I didn’t realize that one before but YES!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:21 AM
61

This one is the exact opposite in my experience. My LV ex who I caught watching a few times would want the lights on...not to look at me as a human being but to look at the visual display in front of him like a p*rn film. I am just coming to terms with how gross and demeaning it felt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:18 AM
13

I hear ya. No one knew what went on in our household. He even had a couple of exes that were “crazy” and my young naive self believed him AND his friends. The reality was that he didn’t let his so called friends anywhere near the heart of who he was. And I found that out the hard way. They never see him like this and so they will always defend him. It cuts me to the core that Bancroft says that to help an abuser his friends must help hold him accountable. That’s never going to happen. No one rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 07:28 AM
2

Teleportation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 11:48 PM
13

This is definitely true. I was gaslit and continue to be by my NV ex. He even went as far to gaslight the court. He and his counsel play dirty. The worst part is that I didn’t see it growing. I had no idea what to look for. So it’s not so subtle now but in our relationship it seemed like it was (though hindsight is 20/20). It came from my deep trust of people and belief in their good intentions. Edited to add: the “I don’t want to face the emotional consequences of my actions” is SPOT ON.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:21 PM
23

One of my children at a young age wanted to wear makeup to “look pretty.” We talked a lot about what “pretty” meant and I emphasized over and over that she was beautiful inside and out without adornment. She still wanted to do it...maybe like once every other month. We also leaned a lot into having fun doing face paint instead of makeup and that is even more fun for a little one. So yea, I have played makeup and dress up with my child. But, do we do it on a regular basis? No. Do I encourage her …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 09:38 PM
2

Yaaaaas he is FINE!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:38 PM
8

Oh. My. GAWD. He’s pretty. Don’t know his character though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:31 PM
22

Congrats, Queen!!! And yes, please be careful. From one soon to be divorcée to another, you’ve got this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:30 PM
8

Lol. Omg. What a piece of work!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:12 AM
15

Yaaaaassss I love this! And that series!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:10 AM
24

This is amazing. Thanks for the pep talk and ideas! I have been, in the past, a don’t-rock-the-boat type of person, afraid of when people would be upset or angry with me. I didn’t have much in my childhood to teach my that with my parents but I did get pretty severely bullied by one person for 3 years in elementary school. So I think I learned a lot of that there. “If you ever tell anyone, my brother will beat you up” kind of thing. Now, it got me into a mess in adulthood. I believed an abuser w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:09 AM
9

It’s interesting how we done realize things sometimes until there is space and time. Isn’t it refreshing once it comes?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:59 AM
15

Not divorced yet but going through the process and I am way better. Mostly because he was abusive emotionally and physically. But YES! Better! Edited to add: and I got to pick out my own bedroom furniture and start decorating my room the way I like a few weeks ago!! Here’s to more solo decisions!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:54 AM
5

Thank you. I haven’t blocked mine yet because of kids but pretty sure he’s blocked me. It actually is nice not having to deal with the gut punch seeing his name come up with a message used to give me. And of course it’s nice not to deal with the actually content of his messages which were quite manipulative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:12 AM
8

THANK YOU. I needed this reminder today. It is so true, but it’s also so aggravating that sometimes folks can’t see their behaviors at all in a self-reflective way. And yes I am talking about my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:09 AM
29

Seriously. What the hell. I hate that we have to think “I hope she’s not dead.” Fuck. I guess that is women’s reality still though, eh? 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 04:06 AM
60

Great article. My favorite part was about how corporations really just want our time, money, and data more than us to find love. Never going to do OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 02:04 AM
25

Wooo! I will be experiencing the same thing soon. Female lawyer of choice!!! 💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 02:20 AM
6

Good question. I’m not dating right now but when I do I am interested in learning how to talk about my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:07 PM
11

This is so great!! 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:06 PM
41

Exactly. This is happening to me right now. It has been for over a year now since we split.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:53 PM
8

Yessss so true. This is the EXACT trap I fell in to. And unfortunately for me she was not that awesome. But he was able to hide his abusiveness under the guise of “she was horrible” and played the victim to reel me in. I didn’t know any better. But now, over a decade later, I do know better. MUCH better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:52 PM
8

Yesssss I love Mr DangerRuss!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 09:47 PM
13

Yep! Non-negotiable for me moving forward if I decide to date. Thanks for posting!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 03:29 PM
6

Yes!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:50 PM
7

Holy f-balls what did I just read. Bloody hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:49 PM
48

How scary! Once a long time ago I lived in a small town. I was at a bar and this guy was hitting on me. I said no and he decided to follow me out of the bar and followed me in my car as well. I doubled back when I realized it and went a completely different direction. But it scared the crap out of me. And thankfully he didn’t follow after that. Yikes! I wonder how many of us have stories like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:03 AM
18

Yeah I had to take an STI panel at the end of my last LVM relationship. It’s one of my non-negotiables now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:36 AM
20

I don’t want to be too specific. But I did notice that a man who is peripheral in my life was the first to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. My kids’ father is not speaking to me. My family wished it to me after this guy, which is great. They live far away so we’re sending messages and already sent gifts. I am recalling in years past my LVMX (and children’s father) never made any effort on Mother’s Day or any other day for that matter. He was one of those “Hallmark/big corporations” non-celebrators …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 10:12 PM
47

One of my ex NVMs (yes, multiple, I am recovering) pretended to be liberal but he was worse. He said he was so against certain things but then his actions did not match with what he said. He was emotionally abusive and always thought things should be done his way. But then out the other side of his mouth he said he supported women in positions of power (like president). Dumb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 02:21 AM
14

Got a tattoo to look cool in a man’s eyes. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:59 PM
31

I froze while my NVM struck my child repeatedly. MY CHILD. You’d better believe I acted afterwards and we are no longer together. But damn, that fight flight or freeze instinct can take over so much. It’s not my fault but sometime it sure feels like it. Thanks for talking about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:52 PM
7

Thank you. I wish I had this mindset earlier in life. My ltr sounds very similar and I’ve left it a year ago now. I’ve not been on any dates so I can make sure I’m ready and leveling up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 11:15 PM
21

I would love to watch this. Hoping it might come to my country soon. Australia is pretty good at these kinds of documentaries. Last year I watched a documentary from Australia called something like “go back to where you came from” and it followed a bunch of white Australians as they experienced what refugees experience. It was amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 04:17 PM
11

Thank you. You don’t know how much I needed to hear this today. I am deep in the thick of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 04:21 PM
70

Yep. It took me some moving mountain shit to get rid of my scrote roommate. He was definitely going to be homeless without me but he wasn’t paying rent or contributing anything financially to the house. My STBX invited him in without my consent. It was easier to kick my STBX out than the other guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 04:19 PM
70

Yeah, it’s not just the pandemic. Birth rates were on a decline before the pandemic hit. I know because it’s a related topic for me at my work. There are many more reasons birth rates are declining, and some of it definitely has to do with increasing financial independence of women and women’s rights increasing. Still got a lot of work to do in this area of course but we are slowly changing culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 06:20 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter