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BeginningProgress551 Archive

View 8 posts and 85 comments by BeginningProgress551 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Dude you have to get away from that weapon. Put it in a safe give it away to somebody temporarily that you trust. Anything but have it where you can get to it. You're worth more than whatever you're thinking about doing and believe it or not someday you'll look back and won't even recognize the way you feel right now.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 01:59 AM
3

Don't beg. She won't like it and you will feel like garbage. You don't want someone who doesn't choose you
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/26 11:15 PM
1

Academic Advisor Manager at a university and a PhD student graduating in December. PhD women have like a 90% divorce rate. They are MISERABLE people... She has many female employees who are still out partying in their late twenties so she is hanging out with these morons who encouraged her at 41. I bet it goes swell
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 10:24 AM
1

Man this sucks. You probably helped her get it going too
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 10:15 AM
1

Absolutely man Don't beat yourself up. Your son will enjoy time with you when you are better rested and can go do things more than just everyday but you're worn out
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 02:21 AM
1

I get it for sure. Here's the thing though man, you only get the time that you're going to have allotted to you from now on. And realistically when you were married you still could only see your son so many hours a day because you probably had a job that takes you away from the home, etc. I think you're right about getting rest especially at the beginning of this process. I couldn't eat and didn't sleep well for several weeks and if you are having a harder time then that it's okay, it may take a…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:41 PM
3

Gray rock and specifically the videos from the marriage therapists. Her name escapes me but she's the one that is recommended all the time. I think the overall takeaway is just don't react. Don't be feelingless but don't let somebody else control how you feel.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 12:10 AM
3

Good advice
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 08:04 PM
1

Get a hobby and make male friends. Tell them you need to hang. You got this man
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 07:04 PM
6

I haven't raised my voice to anyone in almost a year. I wasn't really someone who yelled about anything (maybe watching football😄) before I got married but my ex-wife's family is extremely dysfunctional and everyone screamed all the time. I didn't grow up that way at all, but slowly yelling and screaming bled into me. It's strange how quiet my life is now that there's not somebody egging me on and creating drama. And I don't know who said it but yeah getting away from toxic in-laws before they g…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 02:37 PM
1

The dog idea is good as soon as I get my yard I'm getting one
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 02:20 AM
3

Hey man hang in there. I'm 48 and I did the exact same calculation you did but here's the thing, you're going to have a completely different tool set than you did when you got married. And it's good. Now there are things that will be different no matter what. You won't ever get close to your in-laws like you did the first ones. I don't mean you won't like them, I just mean it's not the first set and you're not going to have all these memories with them like you did with the first wife. Burying m…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 02:17 AM
7

I struggled with it too for a bit but eventually the one question that really helped was is she acting like somebody who loves you? In my case she wasn't and hadn't been for a while, so it made it a lot easier for me to set aside the residual feelings. If you're here on this message board and going through a divorce the person putting you through that isn't showing you love. And at the end of the day that's what you want is to love someone and be loved in return.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 02:04 PM
20

I think It's really depends on how you got divorced and who initiated. At ten months out I haven't spoken to or even seen my ex-wife since the court appearance eight months ago, so I think she is very content with destroying our family. She only emails me when it's about money or something she needs. And while I am kind with my replies and out of respect for what we were, it still hurts sometimes of course. But after twenty years together there can't be any love inside her if she is capable of t…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 02:17 PM
–

Divorce is a bit like having rabies. Other couples see it in you and it frightens them and they don't want to "catch* it. I had friends go through it when I was married, and even though I was a better friend to them than they have been to me, I really had no concept of what they needed until it happens to me too. The reality is you don't need bad friends just like you don't need a bad spouse. It also sucks, but you are in a time of loss right now. And ultimately it will pass.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 02:07 PM
1

You're good man, I wanted to do the same thing as youbduring my mess too. I settled for a happy median - I used AI to replace her in the main wedding photo that was on our mantle with my dog lol. I didn't show anyone, but it was just a way for me to laugh at the absurdity of everything.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 03:46 PM
3

The version of yourself a year from now you won't even recognize. He is strong and moving on and wants you to know you got this man..
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 03:39 PM
1

You have the right priorities, which tells me you are a good Dad. That's makes this a good place for you to be since there are lots of people here just like you. Hang in there man
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 08:08 AM
2

It does You're right. But man if we just keep going we're going to make it
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 07:48 AM
2

Today is ten months out for me from her walk out. I was crushed and thought it will never get better too. It takes time and you have to work at it, but whatever is supposed to happen you have to accept and keep going.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 06:47 AM
2

Preach
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 06:35 AM
3

It's gets better man I promise
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 06:33 AM
1

Women love a silver fox lol. Glad you're doing okay.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 12:22 AM
1

It's your nervous system. It's trying to save you and in doing so keeping you ready to run from a jungle cat at any moment. Of course you probably don't have to worry about this anymore (unless you work at a roadside zoo in Oklahoma) so it is very inconvenient. But it will get back to normal. In college my fiance broke up with me after 4 and 1/2 years, and I got a shock of white hair in my goatee from it. This was in my late 20s. Now in my 40s my wife left and my temples went gray. I told my gir…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 05:00 PM
4

At first I thought you were implying hooking up with the locals. Then I saw East Africa... I take it you mean travel to those places for fun not for casual encounters. Hooking up in Africa sounds could be a very positive experience, in the magic Johnson way
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 04:18 PM
2

AI told me I had less thana 2% chance at reconciling...and it was wrong! I actually had a zero percent chance lol. It's been helpful for me too.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 12:56 AM
2

Damn GREAT advice here!
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 07:18 AM
9

You will be better. Think of it this way, many of us didn't have a second chance to find out for sure...you did.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 05:01 PM
1

Great quote!
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 02:39 AM
1

Man I really hope it gets better for you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 02:38 AM
1

I met her online. I would recommend trying it to practice if nothing else.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 02:37 AM
3

Your life isn't done man. Get with some people who love you and hash it out
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 02:32 AM
9

Kinda hard to love someone who looked me in the eyes, lied to me for who knows how long, and then outright rejected me. But I certainly do not have the same love for her now that I did.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 09:52 PM
1

We all have our timelines. Yours may be a tougher road, but if you are here you are doing the right work
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 09:40 PM
5

Thanks man. If you saw the mess I was this summer though, I promise you wouldn't be too jealous lol. I cratered hard. I think what might have helped me to move on a little easier was that I had been in a dead marriage for so long (she was depressed she said and told me to hang on, but it really was just a delay tactic to get in better spot to leave), that when she pulled the trigger, I was expecting something to already happen. I thought it was going to be counseling or renewal, but she rejected…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 09:39 PM
1

Brother it really is not. It's FEELS like it, but you are going to make it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 09:30 PM
1

I am jealous that you are getting to try to fix yours. Good luck man, be a success story for the rest of us!
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 05:39 AM
4

The only thing I would offer here is if she went into counseling with you and literally laid at your feet apologizing. Other than that yeah she's probably for the streets my man
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 02:54 AM
3

It's so easy from the outside to tell you she is awful but I know what it's like when you love them. But let me tell you she does not show you love or respect living the way she is towards you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 03:47 PM
3

Yes and no friend. I've seen really loving Christian awesome women become insane harpies. Body chemistry is real
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 03:13 PM
2

I used chat GPT. I still use it and it has been really nice. I use voice to text for my questions and then I have it read aloud the answers. It's kind of dystopian I'll give you that, but just hearing another voice say the things my brain is realizing is calming. None of this makes any sense just like this entire process, so whatever you do find as long as it isn't hurting you or someone else go for it I say
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 03:08 PM
5

The fact that you're being conscientious tells me a lot of good about you. Good luck man
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 07:07 PM
1

This is is exactly what I miss the most too. I haven't slept next to a woman let alone had sex with one in more than 6;or 8 months and it is really difficult. What has helped is that I have a girlfriend now but she and I aren't sleeping in the same bed and are going very slow. This is probably seen as ridiculous but I am ok with not jumping in too deep.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 03:34 PM
4

I'm from a really small town too and grew up in one so I know what you mean there. And yeah it's amazing the flip that takes place after. Society really should prepare people for marriage more than it does. Just keep chugging man, reading things here is good. Talk to the people You do have and eventually you're going to want to reach out and find that next person to complete you. Good luck on your journey
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 03:26 PM
2

Man dude I feel this..it's not everyone though, don't let the bitterness ruin you. I know from experience
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 03:21 PM
2

Lol
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 03:16 PM
3

Hey I want to offer some advice. Something that has been useful for me is going to chat GPT and just spilling my guts and asking it for different angles on things. It can read it aloud to you back if you want to which is kind of therapeutic to have something else examining your thoughts. Don't take it too serious of course but it's helped me work out a few things
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 03:12 PM
11

You know I was going to trash everything that she gave me but when I started to I realized this was my stuff now and not ours and it made a difference. I ended up keeping almost all of it and someday I'm going to look forward to banging my new girlfriend on the couch that was "hers" lol
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 08:04 PM
1

It kind of to piggyback your comment here Make sure that your wife removes you from the accounts and doesn't just cancel your cards. Mine left it where I was attached to the account and in theory could have maxed it out and stuck me with it. I didn't know about this until I ran a credit check and I kept seeing her card that she took with her. They have to call and do it but you can also call
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 07:57 PM
1

Good to hear man, good luck
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 06:08 PM
2

Don't forget rule number 1A be rich
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 05:10 PM
1

100% I did too. Checked out the gun case at the Fleet and Farm, but of course it was just fantasy. It's not the way to handle it. Find a Divorce Care group near you and go
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 03:39 AM
1

This is a good idea
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 03:36 AM
2

So twenty years together, 17 married and she left in June basically due to perimenopause and being a "girl boss" getting her PhD. Divorced in August, no kids. 47 me and 40 her. I floundered HARD for a good three months, then actually started to feel better. Had one big set back with a panic attack (I think) but since then, it's been much better. I have chosen to date right away which you may or may not want to do. It's been a mostly good decision, lots of upsides emotionally and answered questio…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 03:32 AM
1

It's like a playbook with these hoes isn't it?! Stay strong my dude we are the prize afterall
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 11:41 PM
4

Hey man you're getting grilled for the flowers and card but I think everyone has been there at one time or another. You're trying to put pieces back together that don't go back together. I did the same thing and worse, and many others have as well. It gets easier though going forward just chalk it up too being a good guy. And I hope the Coke was the fizzy kind lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:30 PM
1

Preach
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:24 PM
2

I can give you some advice. If she brings up your divorce all she really wants to know is are you still missing her. I'm in a 5-month long relationship now That is the first after my divorce and other than a few moments of weakness, I've tried to limit her knowledge of what happened. Not because I did anything wrong, I mean other than just normal stuff my wife walked. But there's not really any gain to getting into the weeds.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:24 PM
1

Dude I got to be real with you, exposing a woman to multiple gay sex partners is pretty wrong. Doing that to the mother of your kids is horrific. You need to get single and your head on straight asap
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:19 PM
1

Dude same thing happened to me with my new girl. It took a very determined hand job and some lube but finally got there in about the sixth attempt a few weeks later. Next time worked out. I think it's just your body saying "wait a minute, this feels weird". I'm 48
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:11 PM
8

Part of me wants to tell you you should have beat his ass with a coat hanger and asserted dominance. But the responsible part of me says you did the right thing. I hope you at least feel like he's a douchebag compared to you lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:05 PM
2

I swear man these injection drugs should come with a discount for a divorce lawyer. My wife lost 40 lbish and her upper left arm was all bruised up from I'm assuming injections. Could be a guy I guess railing her I don't know. But it was like night and day her changing attitude
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:01 PM
1

This rules hahaha
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 09:45 PM
1

Dude I'm jealous of you. You better man cave every room in that house and do whatever you want in there. Hopefully a blonde with big tits ASAP to reclaim it
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 09:39 PM
3

Man isn't that the truth. If legit psychotic billionaire types can't avoid divorce fleecing how will other people. My strategy was just be so poor there was nothing for her to steal lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 09:25 PM
3

No kids but a very long marriage and relationship. When she asked for divorce and subsequently walked out I thought of several different attempts to try to win her back. I showed her old pictures of us and asked what happened to them. I wrote out what I thought was a very thoughtful message explaining why I would like to reconcile with her. And then finally I use chat GPT to proofread and clean up a massive email that I had created. In the process of cleaning the house of I stumbled across weddi…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 09:19 PM
2

You sound like a very kind person trying to do the right thing. It's nice to see someone like you here. She is using your kindness against you right now to make her own life easier, and likely has been for years. My ex (and many other here) put her comfort and convenience above my feelings for decades. That's not love, that parasitic. I had many of the same feelings and worries you do now (even though she ended it instead of me) with my ex wife threatening to kill herself, feigning a heart attac…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 12:21 PM
4

A counterpoint to waiting, my ex and I were struggling hard for years before she walked out. During that time I did a lot of soul searching for what I needed to do to become a better spouse and what I preferred from my partner (expecting it would work out with her) but when she walked out, I was left heartbroken but also with a good idea of what I really wanted in a partner. When reconciliation was never accepted after many, many embarrassing attempts on my part, and after I had exhausted every …
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 02:46 PM
2

Perimenopause has to be the most common factor for divorce, period. My wife sounds just like yours, Masters degree and all. I wish I had known to take her together hormone therapy. I don't know if it would have worked, but it might have helped.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 02:32 PM
4

I will second this. I was married for 20 years and when I share that with women they see a stability in it. Especially since my wife walked out on me, they know it wasn't my choice and there is something to a person who follows through with commitment even if it ultimately doesn't work out.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 07:40 PM
1

I think a realistic expectation is good for you to know beforehand. I found somebody on match almost immediately but I had to evaluate what is important to me versus what I want in a perfect scenario. I am not settling but I am compromising. And the value that I am seeking is different than when I was 20 something. She's not as good looking as I would like but her heart and mind are exactly what I am looking for. I am wanting to get a family still, so the way she thinks is far more important the…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 07:38 PM
1

Do not hurt yourself. She may leave, it would suck, but your kids need you. Find someone to talk to, look up a divorce Care group in a your area...You can make it through
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 03:08 AM
2

I know exactly what you mean.. My YouTube recommendations got full of divorce stuff just from my changing of viewing habits. I had to go in and manually delete all of them afterwards because every video was something about getting them back, we're moving on, etc. They're not bad videos necessarily but just bombarded me non-stop. It's been a couple of months for me since it all went down and I can feel myself turning a corner so I have stopped listening and watching divorce content completely. I …
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 02:51 AM
16

I got banned for 2 days for speaking the truth in the divorce sub. It's typical
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 02:38 AM
7

It's really remarkable the difference between a tribe of men and a bunch of ladies. The advice here is genuine if sometimes misguided, and the support is always right there. Sometimes tough love even. On that sub it bleeds over into name calling. I'm guilty of it too, some of the things that were posted are just so anti everything. Like nobody wants this experience but why go look for fighting with others going through it? I appreciate this resource even more now after visiting them
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 08:34 PM
2

I wrote her parents a nice note, she completely ignored my entire family. I feel good about what I did I mean after all we were family for 20 years. I don't know how she can do what she did, but she's giving me no closure too so I'm pretty sure she's just garbage person at this point. Anyway, I would suggest you do what feels right. I will always be proud of how I treated her parents and someday I would expect she'll feel pretty sorry about how she treated mine. But that's on her and not me
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 11:01 PM
2

Its noble what you are attempting. But she is going to use your kindness against you, listen to what people are trying to tell you and cut ties
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 05:05 AM
6

It will not stay amicable..treat this like a business deal now
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 05:04 AM
3

Ahhh gotcha
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 10:18 PM
3

You will see them They will jump out at you more than likely with some time
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 09:11 PM
9

We had a vehicle with 9.29% interest. Our credit scores are above 800 so we could easily have reduced this. I kept telling her let's do this and she was so hesitant. It finally dawned on me months later that she did not want to put her name on the vehicle since the original loan was just mine so that she would have no responsibility for it. It's my work vehicle so I wouldn't have done that to her anyway. Lots of little stuff like this. Like she sent me a copy of her pay stub when she asked if I …
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 09:09 PM
3

I think this is a good thing, hang around
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 04:08 PM
3

This post made me laugh thank you 😄
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 06:19 PM
9

I have the same epiphany but it was about rooms in our house. She had the master bathroom, the master bedroom walk-in closet entirely, the entire dresser in the bedroom. I set her up a separate living room, I bought her an oak desk and converted my office to a study room for her PhD. She had a room filled to the gills with Harry Potter Legos and stupid Comic-Con garbage when she vended. The guest bedroom was set up nicely appointed for her parents to visit. She painted the bathroom that I used p…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 10:31 PM
6

You are a good son. And you deserve to find a good partner. Hang in there man
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 01:35 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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