20 years went down the tubes in June. She was "done" and I was blindsided. I spent the summer picking up the pieces of my shattered life, paying off joint debts, and cleaning out a house that looked like a robbery had occurred. As she drove off with my dog and truckloads of my stuff, I never thought I would ever recover. I made so many mistakes afterwards. So much cringe and sad, and I did all the wrong things you should do. But eventually, I finally was able to keep no contact. And what do you know, I started to recover. And after a while, I got strong enough to put myself out there, found a great girl, hit some work and health goals, and now I am almost completely back to normal.

And you will be too.

This Christmas my new girlfriend came down from out of state to my family gathering, and we had a wonderful evening. I just kept imagining how my ex-wife would have bitched and nagged about how we should be leaving early. She always made the holidays so stressful, and we had to incorporate her lousy family of just two whole people who were nearly always unhappy and would overstay the welcome every time.

Instead, I stayed as late as I wanted with my family and watched my new girl laugh and have fun playing dirty Santa and other games with fifteen people she doesn't know at all, but that you couldn't tell it from the outside. It was so much more relaxed and laid back. I had probably the best time at Christmas I've had in at least a decade. Maybe more! And it was so effortless.

Later, I took her back to the hotel room I had got her that night, and she showed me exactly how much she appreciated the evening too, lol. It was a perfect evening, something I never would have imagined back in June crying in my living room alone that first night.

I'm not naive, this is all still in the honeymoon stage, and she might not be Miss forever. Hell, I may never even want to get remarried, it's such a terrible deal for us men. But to see how much things can really improve in just such a short time is truly unbelievable.

If you are going through it right now, I want you to know that it gets better. It doesn't feel like it, damn does it hurt when it's raw. But men, hang in there. Follow the rules. And realize that you ARE going to be okay someday, and that day is coming sooner than you think. There will be brighter days ahead for you (and all of us), just wait and see.

Here's to the new you in the New Year