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KingJon85 Archive

View 15 posts and 375 comments by KingJon85 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I just started seeing a girl who is the complete opposite of my ex. I wasn't going to come out and say anything about my ex and all the bullshit she put me through, but the new chick just kept asking questions and got it out of me. She was so kind and understanding, non judgemental She couldn't wait to see me again and came over tonight and we ended up having some adult fun. My first encounter in over 10 months since I separated. You don't need to explain your whole past right away, but much of …
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 05:53 AM
1

Damn, were we married to the same person?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 10:10 PM
1

Damn. We're we married to the same person?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 10:09 PM
1

Id say trust your gut. Don't get pressured into something that doesn't feel right. Perhaps you two have different relationship goals, and that can mean incompatibility. I wouldn't take advice from strangers. Ultimately, this is something that only you need to decide. Hope everything works out for ya, brotha
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 01:08 AM
8

I get it. You dont need to do these things for anyone but yourself. Proving to yourself that you can accomplish things that you didn't think were possible will have a dramatic effect on mental health. I get it though. I am going on 10 months post separation and was cruising along pretty decent recently and the grief hit again. I drempt of my ex the last 3 nights in a row. My mind keeps slipping back to wondering what she's thinking about, and thinking of good times and making love. Ive been atte…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 12:34 AM
1

100%
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 02:46 PM
11

It's not going to matter bro. At this point, its better to stay oblivious. I can pretty much guarantee your gut instinct is correct. I foolishly ignored signs myself as well. Don't ignore such red flags in the future. Walk away. Grey rock and communicate the least amount as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 02:42 AM
8

Similar story man. I was treated like shit and stayed because I was an honorable and loyal. Im about 10 months out and I don't care what people think about me anymore. Many sided with my ex, because she is a woman, and i dont give a shit. She will spend the rest of her life dodging accountability and leaving a trail of destruction in her wake. I am at peace. I no longer have to deal with the insanity and gaslighting anymore. Im hiking, lifting weights and doing my other hobbies and getting my mi…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 01:08 AM
7

Dont do it homie! How long ago did you get divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 03:32 AM
3

I won't message her anything, unless I absolutely have to. I haven't spoken to her in months. She isn't my buddy. Thats just me, though. You do you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 12:01 AM
3

You can talk to your lawyer but it likely won't matter. Just take it as confirmation that its time to keep putting one foot in front of the other and start your new life.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 02:19 AM
2

I say this with love, it doesn't matter anymore. Consult a lawyer on the DL and play nice. I pissed my ex wife off and kicked the hornets nest a few times and I wish i hadn't. Just let her go. BTW my ex was cheating and i found out later. Your ex likely cheated as well. Don't do anything that will make her change her mind about being amicable. Literally do nothing without consulting a lawyer first.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 12:27 AM
2

If she wanted you back, she would come back. Dont belittle yourself. Focus your energy into moving on. Holding onto hope prevents you from healing. Be strong. The urge will pass. Do something to occupy your mind.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 03:54 AM
2

1.My ex built a relationship with someone else behind my back. No way in hell would I give her another chance. I gave her plenty of chances. They say that physical attraction may be a little less important past 40, but would you date someone who is ugly? Most women won't either. Get and stay fit. I tried to work it out for my kids for many years. I found my wife physically attractive, but she was just a terrible person with zero sense of accountability. She couldn't see past her own nose.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 02:13 PM
1

Block her on everything and get mentally and physically strong. It hurts but you will be just fine. Go out and have fun. Your free.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 01:39 PM
2

No, my ex makes me sick. She is a liar, and she used me while building a relationship with another dude. Then she got half my shit and she is fighting me for full custody of my daughter. I wouldn't walk across the street to piss on her if she was on fire. I am definitely over her but not the trauma she inflicted.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 04:23 AM
17

Mine was a nurse as well. Same shit, I supported her through school to get her BSN. I also helped her start a business doing cosmetic injections. Soon as that gained a little traction, she was off with an affair partner. She is a trash human and im thankful that she removed herself from my life.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 01:17 PM
2

I've been attempting some lately but just feel numb like some others have mentioned. Maybe im not ready yet. I still just see women as a threat to my peace. I've hung out with some women and flirted and got some compliments etc. I just don't think I feel it. I hope im not broken forever.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 02:29 AM
2

You're gonna be fine dude. Perhaps leave for a week until she leaves? It's going to sting for awhile, but this is a new beginning. Dont let her win by controlling your mind. Once she is gone, make sure she is blocked on everything. Email to communicate until things are settled up. Do not show any emotion. Grey rock her. Start building your own dream life. Work on yourself physical and financially. You can do whatever the fuck you want to do! You're a free man!
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 01:28 PM
3

For months after my divorce my drive was completely gone. I read this can be normal due to betrayal and stress. I haven't got laid yet but I've started chatting with and hanging out with a couple of women. I've also been working out, walking and hiking. My sex drive is returning. Thank goodness because I was getting worried. I plan on maybe attempting the apps by the end of next month. I feel very close to being mentally ready.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 02:14 PM
3

Yes be prepared for this possibly OP. I had my suspicions but didn't find out for sure until the divorce was almost finalized.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 09:34 PM
5

No worries. This is the beginning of a whole new journey. Make it a great one.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 08:59 PM
8

It's going to be okay friend. Don't blame yourself for her giving up. You will find happiness again. Enjoy all the journeys in life. How you handle this will teach you a lot about yourself. Remain stoic and accept her decision. Women don't change their minds once checked out. Even if she does, its only temporary. Build your own life and enjoy your freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 08:23 PM
21

100%. My ex basically told me that she hadn't loved me for years and she wished she would have found her new boyfriend long ago. She was really squeezing every penny out of me this last couple of years as well. She lied to my face daily for years, saying she loves me and having sex with me. Only using me while she searches for someone else. Be ruthless. Be selfish. Take care of yourself #1. Never, ever, ever, ever trust a woman fully. 99% of them will move on once they find something better. I h…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 07:40 PM
1

I may look into that.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 06:17 PM
0

Damn dude, lol. Yeah, women are shallow these days. I dont expect to do nearly that well on the apps. Im 5'10" and pretty average in my opinion. I'm building my body and mind right now. I never got too out of shape but my ex would somehow figure out a way to guilt trip me for working on myself. Im now in better shape than I have been in 10 years and hopefully in 6 months I'll bei n the best shape of my life. I make well over average money for my area but am by no means wealthy. Your ex will prob…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 03:31 PM
2

I appreciate the info. I'll probably pay as well when I get on there. Keep on keeping on, my man. Enjoy your new life.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 01:02 PM
2

You must be a good looking guy. I don't know how I'd do as i haven't joined yet. Im wanting to hit some goals without distractions first. Are you using the premium or unpaid versions?
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 03:47 AM
3

Where you finding all the new chicks at? Congrats, King.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 12:07 AM
3

Learn how to channel the anger. Learn every day, grow as an adult. Learn self love. Do something artistic. I play music. It's a good outlet. Im getting better but the pain comes and goes. I was cruising along really good for about 2 weeks then despair has hit me again for the last few days. I listen to a ton of audiobooks as well.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 03:20 AM
3

Your opportunities are endless. Move wherever you want and start building a little social circle. It takes some time.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 03:10 AM
6

Just take it off. Free yourself. This is one of many changes that you'll have to get used to.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 03:06 AM
5

Man similar situation but I've learned to just love myself, and put myself first. I always lived for my family, but now I prioritize my needs. It's gonna hurt for awhile. Grind it out. Work your ass off, hit the gym, read self help books, do what you got to do to grow. Daughters will often side with mom, as men tend to be the more stern one in the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 12:49 AM
4

Im settling into my fitness routine well, and people have been noticing results. Me confidence and over all outlook for the future is improving. I've started talking to some women. Keeping things slow moving. It doesn't really bother me to think about my ex any more.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 11:05 PM
19

I gave my ex her last shot about 3 months in. Now, hell will freeze over before I take her back. Im going to be brutally honest with you to save some dignity for yourself. She doesn't want you or she would have tried to come back. Get out there and have some fun. Meet new women, get some ass, and forget about her. The only thing standing in your way of moving on is your own mind. I say this with love, man - move on. If you really want to shoot your shot, go ahead. Even if by some chance it did w…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 10:12 PM
3

Live your best life man. Our ex wife's probably haven't lost a wink of sleep over us.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 08:37 PM
1

Do it, man. I met a girl off a single Facebook page. We both just want friends and to see where things go naturally. No pressure. I am chatting with a couple other old female friends that I have reconnected with as well. Just make friends. Stay single until you're happy with yourself. Just having a female perspective is great. One even said she would help me with my dating profile when im ready. You're going to do great! Congrats on your progress, so far!
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 07:30 PM
4

Hello sir. I am doing much better as well. I know we are close to the same timeline. I have been making some women friends. Went out last night and there was some touching and flirting but we didn't go home together or anything. I have kinda forced myself into this recently and it has helped my confidence. Lots of older women are understanding. Just knowing I still have the ability to flirt and that women find me attractive is a great start. Im not settling any expectations and I have no plans f…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 07:09 PM
4

Hearing about the replacement sucks. It messed me up for awhile. Take care of yourself, buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 03:17 AM
1

Read Feeling Good by Dr David Burns. It will help with the anxiety and negative thoughts. I mean read, as in get a physical copy and do the work. Read or listen to Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins. This book made me really begin to appreciate all challenges in life. Hard times create growth, if you channel the energy correctly. This has also made me stop making excuses for things like going to the gym. Im listening to The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck right now, and i find many parts useful and…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 02:51 PM
2

Wishing you the best, brother
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 11:52 PM
6

That's how I feel right now, but im not going to say 1000% that im done. Hopefully, I can just find a nice woman who wants a long term thing with no marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 11:49 PM
1

I had thay mentality for awhile, but now im on the prowl again. I don't plan on getting too serious with anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 08:37 PM
6

That's wild. She doesn't sound like a clean individual.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 02:39 PM
1

My ex did the same thing. Us men who were cheated on and betrayed are going to take longer to heal than dudes who lost feelings for their wives. I think we really just have to make a constant effort every day to detach. I am definitely nervous about beginning a new relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 03:06 PM
1

That's good man. My attraction for other woman comes and goes lately. That's a sign that im healing because I couldn't look at other women for several months. This is one reasons that I haven't started dating yet. I plan on moving pretty slow when I begin dating. No need to force things.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 03:04 AM
5

It's because you're not healed yet. Are you using porn? If so quit the porn. When you are getting it from a screen, why would you go look for the real thing? My desire for other women was dead for awhile, but its slowly coming back. Trauma and depression can drain the libido for many men. And last of all cut all contact with your ex, burn her pictures, blocked her on social media, and get your mind off her.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 12:27 AM
6

Im sorry. I know exactly how it feels. What makes it worse, is that i let her talk me into staying with her and believing her gaslighting BS. I can only imagine what she did, that i never discovered. I still catch myself missing a version of her that doesn't exist. If you ever need any support, feel free to DM.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 08:13 PM
11

It's not worth it. If they do it once, they'll do it again. Ask me how I know. A one off event where she went to a bar and got too drunk may be forgivable if she came clean and showed remorse. Still, these things you never forget. Trust will never be the same. OP, dont beg, don't give her an ultimatum, don't give her any warning. Gather evidence and give it to a lawyer. Have her served with divorce papers. She made her choice already. She didn't choose you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 06:43 PM
6

Im 7 months out and sometimes I forget how evil and nasty my ex was when I get lonely. Being alone is getting easier. I am getting in better shape than ive been in a long time. Im counting calories and eating healthy. I couldn't do these things with my ex because I was a constant ball of stress. I felt constantly ill with her around. The pressure she put on me daily took a toll on my physical health. When she got out of the house, I couldn't get enough sleep for the first 3 months. It was like m…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 06:33 PM
11

She started losing her mind over the last several years. I caught her talking to men a few times. I then caught her planning to divorce me on one of my security cameras. A week later I was getting served papers and she was planning her life with her AP. She introduced him to my kids immediately. She rewrote history to make me look like the bad guy. She couldn't save a penny to save her life. I put away enough money to buy a house this year and she got most of that. I supported her through school…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 03:57 PM
3

You're not alone. There's millions of people that have lost spouses. It's gonna sting for a bit. It's going to be difficult to find joy in anything you do for awhile but keep getting out. Keep working on yourself. Go explore your area, go for walks, go for hikes, get out into nature and ground yourself. Eventually you will feel joy, and have moments of not missing her. Emotional pain can be a good thing if you channel it correctly. Build your mind and body, and become the man that is magnetic to…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 03:43 PM
8

That's a good sign. You no longer care.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 04:51 AM
5

Don't worry about things that are out of your hands. Divorce takes a toll on everyone. Many people who end up homeless, or drug addicted became that way due to divorce. Focus on what you have to be grateful for. Work on your social skills and make friends. Grow your brain, get fit, build confidence, upgrade your career. It's all hard. But like David Goggins says, "Do something hard every day." Suddenly hard things in life just become the normal. Divorce can be the worst thing to ever happen to y…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 05:02 PM
4

Im sorry man. I know its rough. The first few months will be brutal. There's no way around that. Feel the pain, dont try to mask it. Come here and spill your feelings whenever your down. Get up every morning and take care of business. Take care of yourself. Eat healthy, don't drink or use any other substances to cover up the pain. Unfortunately you just have to go through it. Feel free to dm if you ever need to vent.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 03:48 PM
2

We have 2 kids. Son is 18 and my daughter is a teen. I've set firm boundaries as far as communication. I told her to email me once per week (sundays) with any schedule modifications. I let her know aside from that, to never bother me, unless it is an emergency. She dropps my daughter off and I bring her home. We never see each other. The last time I did see her, I surprisingly felt nothing. I think my mind spins up a different version of her that doesn't exist when im lonely, lol. Go enjoy your …
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 03:34 PM
7

Im a little over 7 months out of a 18 year relationship. I feel im 75% healed. During the work week, I am rarely thinking of my ex. Weekends and time off can get a little gloomy. I think im close to ready for dating. The only thing stopping me is that im really starting to enjoy working on myself without distractions. I want to hit fitness goals prior to dating, as well as build mental strength. Being single isn't a bad thing. There's a billion single people out there. We're all trained to belie…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 03:15 PM
2

Good luck, man. There's peace on the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 05:29 AM
7

How long have you been divorced? Im struggling to find desire for other women as well.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 01:39 PM
3

Yup, most men take much longer to move on. Especially when our spouses blew up the marriage by cheating. Im struggling to find the self-worth and desire to date, myself. Some days I feel like i want it and others, it sounds like it would just be stressful.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 02:08 PM
4

Don't beat yourself up. You shouldn't care what she thinks anyhow. What stifled any thoughts of me getting back with my ex was just imagining the future, some months down the road, and us settling back into our routine. All the thoughts of all the bullshit she put me through would bubble up and make me resent her. I would just be miserable. I wasn't happy in my marriage, just content. She made very little effort to keep me happy. Everyone else in her life was more important. The kids, her family…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 10:38 PM
4

I was with my ex for 18 years. Im 7 months since we separated and im nearly over it. I have my moments and its usually in the middle of the night, I occasionally start dreaming of her. Soon as I wake up and shake it off I feel fine. This is happening less and less. I don't know where my life is headed, but I'm not going to worry about it. I don't care what she does. She made horrible decisions constantly when we were together. Im glad I am not longer a part of that. She was horrible with money, …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 09:48 PM
1

I did some cognitive therapy stuff about 10-12 years back that helped a lot, so im trying to brush up on that. Im working through The Feeling Good Handbook right now and it's powerful stuff if you apply it. It's helping me overcome some confidence and self doubt issues ive had. Also, im not sure if you're familiar with David Goggins. His book Can't Hurt Me has been really motivating me for workouts and just mental strength in general. There's a really good audiobook version on Spotify where he d…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 12:17 AM
6

You need to set boundaries. If you know your custody agreements, there isn't much to talk about. You're torturing yourself. Ask her to email you once per week with schedule updates, unless it's an emergency. It hurts to let go but you need to, in order to heal. I dont wish to see my ex ever again after what she did to my family. Unfortunately I'll likely have to from time to time.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 10:39 PM
1

That's good advice. I will take time to write down exactly what I'm looking for in a woman, and also write some red flags that are absolute deal breakers. I have been working on myself and will continue to do so. I almost thought about waiting to date until the end of the summer just to continue working on myself without distractions. If I wait until September, that will be my one year. Im mostly aiming for friends, and if something blossoms into love over a long period of time, then cool. I do …
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 01:55 PM
3

I was separated in late September and ended up getting the divorce done by the end of December. One of the women im talking to lives in another state. We used to be good friends, and are becoming good friends again. We talk everyday. She offered to help on my dating profile. I might fly out and see her in a couple of months. We might fool around but we intend to stay friends. We have fooled around before like 20 years ago. The other women is just a friend as well. I'm attracted to her but im cho…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 01:38 PM
5

Haha, I bet. Good for you, man. Maybe ill ask my doc about cialis just in case. Im sure I'll be dealing with some nerves the first time.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 02:50 AM
3

Yeah, thats pretty fresh. I feel like im getting close to ready simply due to the fact that im not sad every day about my ex, and im not feeling much anger and resentment any longer. I peeped your profile and it seems like your situation is a bit different than mine. We all move at our own pace. I just didn't want to carry my baggage over into any new relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 01:40 AM
8

That's awesome man. This gives me hope. My self esteem is shit right now but it's getting better. Man, I felt your excitement just reading about that first kiss. Sounds amazing!
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 01:33 AM
1

How long have you been out of your relationship? I mean I knew i wasn't ready a couple of months back. I think it may be time to take the plunge.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 01:07 AM
9

My ex and i had very little in common. Early on we had some things, but i feel we become even more different as time went on. I sort of figured "opposites attract," or whatever, but i think we were too different. I believe we both settled in the beginning and somehow lasted 18 years. I honestly don't remember one true meaningful conversation with her. It's crazy to think about.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 12:40 AM
5

Thanks, good advice. I am 41 and I think im ready. You're right, it'll probably be a blast. I will approach with no expectations, just curiosity. Which app is your favorite?
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 12:31 AM
2

I tried to lead my household as well and I got hated for it. My ex would side with my children when I tried to teach them to clean up after themselves. I would come home after long days and do dishes and throw away trash that was set on the counter 3 feet from the trash can. I was the only one who cooked home cooked meals. I tried to make my kids earn things that they wanted. I had to constantly watch the bank accounts to make sure she wasn't overspending and make sure to stash some money in sav…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 12:20 AM
7

It's just going to hurt for a bit. When I found out about my ex's boyfriend, it was like a stab to the chest but it also cauterized the wound. I feel it was the nudge that I needed to realize that it was done for good, and i was able to mentally move on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 10:15 PM
3

Hope you have security cameras and a pew pew. I thought my ex was crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 11:47 PM
0

They're right, friend. Be positive. It sounds like you have a great support system. I basically just had myself and my sister who listened to my rants a few times. Feel those feelings but positivity goes a long way.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 11:10 PM
2

I had to systematically shift my thinking and use a cognitive therapy approach. It's been 7 months post an 18 year relationship. The first 5 months were brutal, but ive had a massive shift in the last couple of month. I realized she isn't worth wasting another single fucking second of my life having a solo pity party about her screwingme over. She is a terrible person. She did everything possible to burn my life down completely unwarranted. She belongs to the streets now. I will no longer allow …
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 11:03 PM
8

She's gaslighting you homie.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 05:24 PM
7

I learned that if and when I start dating again to show them the door when I see red flags. Never trust anyone but yourself. Never stick it out for kids or money. I am the most important person in my life. I used to live for everyone else. Never again. I am not just okay, but thriving alone. Those 5 affairs were mostly just me catching her talking to som othere dude I didn't know about. She would gaslight me and beg me to stay. I know she slept with at least one. Probably many more because I pro…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 02:31 PM
4

Im sorry that happened to you. Gather any evidence about the affair you can. I believe it can help you in some states. Divorce her ass ASAP and fight for your belongings.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 02:18 AM
6

Sweet, delicious, beautiful karma.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 01:49 AM
1

Yeah I know. We had just gone back and forth so many times and it was costing me a ton in lawyer fees. We also would have had our first court date the following Monday. I just wanted to be done before it went in front of a judge. Everything else was just how I wanted it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 12:11 AM
1

I have no guilt about the divorce.I am just focusing on myself and the ex still makes my life difficult any chance she gets because we share a teen daughter. The peace is amazing. I was lonely at first but I enjoy solitude now. I will date again but i want to work on myself without any distractions. A beautiful, younger woman some day would be nice. My ex told me today that no one would want me and I'll be single forever. I know that isn't true, but it just goes to show how nice of a person she …
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 02:53 AM
3

Her greedy ass wouldn't sign the papers without the contingency that she could do a review when my taxes were done. She is convinced im lying about my income but she is just wasting everyone's time and money.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 01:43 AM
3

Take them to the dollar store and let them go crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 03:47 AM
5

Damn. I hope this is my future.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 03:40 AM
2

Similar story here with the "friend" bs. She had moved on way before she left. She wouldn't have left if she didn't find someone she considered "better value." It still stings but nothing like before. I was probably in shock for a whole month when I found out.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 03:35 AM
1

You will get over it. Im about 6.5 months in and I still have my moments but life it gradually getting much better. I am done putting her on a pedestal. She was a terrible wife and is a terrible person. Hopefully she learned her lesson or her new boyfriend is in for a bumpy ride.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 03:01 AM
2

I was thinking about that recently as well. My ex was getting naked for me the second day after meeting her. I literally spent maybe 2 hours around her and she was getting naked. Why would it be different for any other dude? I never expected it to turn into a 18 year relationship but it just sorta happened.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:55 AM
5

I spent 18 years with my ex. I was by no means perfect, especially when we were young adults. I grew into my role as a husband and a father. She grew bitter, angrier, and more narcissistic. She had an affair years ago and we split up for many months. She of course blamed it all on me. About 4 months in she started begging for me to come back and I eventually caved. I got into therapy and continued to grow as an adult. She didn't want to go but I tried to teach her the stuff i learned. It started…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:47 AM
1

I had constant chest pains and health problems from stress when I was with my ex. I am getting better as time passes. Sleep is much better, overall inflammation is down. I can do what the hell i want. Life on easy mode. It was rough at first, and still is hard some days. It gets easier every day though. Im in no hurry to get back in a relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:27 AM
2

Im struggling with this but I know it's the right move. Im still a bit uncomfortable by myself and im still not over the betrayal by my ex. It has gotten much better though. The first 3-4 months was brutal. Now im preferring my alone time. I dont think it could ever go back to the living situation i was in. I sleep 8 hours a night for the first time in over a decade, virtually no stress, unless I have to talk to my ex. I get a little stressed when my daughter talks about my ex's boyfriend but I …
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:19 AM
1

It doesn't matter if you're a billionaire or a McDonald's worker. Women will get bored and cheat sooner or later.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 10:31 PM
2

Absolutely disgusting behavior. I know some men do it as well, but I know so many dudes right now that have recently gone through divorce, all because their women was cheating. It's so common these days. I can barely even look at these single moms on dating apps because they are probably single for the same reason. At 41 years old im starting to realize that maybe it isn't worth it. The internet has made it way to easy for them.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 10:25 PM
5

Id say the chances of accountability are slim.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 09:53 PM
6

I know i wasn't perfect, especially as a young adult with no life experience. I grew into my role as a husband and father and she grew distant. After about 8 years being together, she had an affair. Shit hit the fan and we broke up for several months. She would call my mom and make threats about screwing me in court and not letting me see the kids. She then called one day begging me to talk to her so I broke down and did. She said she would change and be with me forever etc. I took her back like…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 09:50 PM
1

Get out while your still young. She will never be satisfied, It will only get worse. The longer you stay the more stuck you are. Starting over at 29 is much easier than 40+.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 01:56 AM
2

Her clients pay her a lot in cash and she isn't being honest about what she makes. She does botox and cosmetic injections. There's insane money potential in that, if you can get steady clientele. She claimed a 20k loss last year because she didn't deposit her cash and wrote off the medical supplies. I hope it catches up to her one day but I should not give a shit. Not my problem. It is a bit frustrating as I paid the bills through her nursing program. I gave her the money for the training and up…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 05:11 PM
16

It's been about 6.5 months for me and all I wanted was revenge at first. She is still with her affair partner and making money in her business that I funded to get going. This business that she promised would make it so I didn't have to work as hard in the future. I care less and less as time passes. She made poor decisions that I always had to deal with our entire relationship. Im sure if anything happens to her I'll be completely moved on by then. Im still lost and sitting here alone on Easter…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 08:07 PM
1

Been married 2x here. First lasted one year, second 17 years. I am probably done with marriage. I didn't even want to get married the second time but was pressured into it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 06:03 PM
2

I can't move on because I know what they're all capable of. Hopefully this feeling is temporary.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 05:59 PM
3

I am sorry, man. Im 6 months out here and still lost. I feel like im a long ways from being able to trust a woman again. The pain has gotten easier. In many ways I'm glad she is gone but I just wish it could have gone differently. I thought she was my person. Starting over at 41 feel daunting.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 05:49 PM
3

I'm certainly doing a lot better but a bit lonely. I love having a couple of beer every now and again but for some reason my body doesn't metabolize alcohol well and I get multi-day hangovers. I have a few once in awhile anyways. I only have like 2 friends and a sister and a half brother in the area. They are all busy with their lives and dont like to go out much. I went out one night and drank too much. It was the only time I drank in over a year. I got a number but she never called me back whe…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 03:18 AM
3

I don't know but if you figure it out let me know. I'm 6 months out of my relationship and she traumatized me so bad, I can't imagine dating going well. Bored and lonely as hell on this Friday night.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 01:53 AM
1

If it were the other way around, you know it would be split 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 11:13 PM
3

Leave the past in the past. Get rid of anything that could be a trigger. I still have down times but I systematically shift my thoughts to other things. It's not easy but it's working. Your ex sound crazy. I can relate. Trauma bond is sometimes harder to let go of.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 11:10 PM
3

My wife was never heavy but she got botox, lashes, hair done and was working out. But yeah, same story.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 02:09 AM
2

In my state it's a formula. No opinions involved. You calculate the difference between your income with the amount of visitation and get a number. My ex is mad about the amount as well. Opps, sorry. It's not my fault. She has also blown all of her settlement money on vacations and stupid shit in the span of 4 months. I hope her new boyfriend has deep pockets because thats all she cares about.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 02:00 AM
8

I should have been done with my ex 10 years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 01:35 PM
2

I'm sorry, buddy. I know how bad it stings.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 12:22 AM
1

You just stated your problem right there, friend. You dont talk to women at all. Perhaps try striking up some conversations. Your irrational thinking is that you'll be alone forever and that may be the case if you don't work on your confidence. I'm reading Feeling Good by doctor David Burns. You should get it and read it because I have a feeling your thinking is keeping you stuck. I guarantee that there is someone out there for ya.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 06:26 PM
1

Don't be so unsure. Aside from that you need to learn to have fulfillment from life without a relationship to be happy. Maybe try to have casual conversations with women with zero expectations. Never talk about your problems with women. I have seen friend do this and it automatically turns many women off. Brother, you do have a shot. I know butt ass ugly individuals that always seem to have girlfriends. Confidence is key. This is something i struggle with personally but you got to fake it till y…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 05:50 PM
1

Sounds about like mine but was married 17. 6 months in and feeling lonely as hell. Still dreaming of my ex most nights.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 04:30 PM
2

Man I wish women approached me. They used to.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 04:04 PM
6

6 months separated and 3 months divorced and I haven't even really attempted much yet. Perhaps it would help me move on. I just don't even have the energy to deal with women yet. I feel like im dealing with too many of my own personal issues. I got a number a couple months back but she didn't return my call for some reason. I added a girl on Facebook that I dated for a short period like 20 years ago. Thought about asking her to hang out. All in all the motivation isn't there yet. I feel like im …
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 04:01 PM
1

Don't give up. There is someone out there for ya.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 03:44 PM
2

My ex wife started doing these weight loss vitamin shots that made her mental before the divorce. Im not sure if it was related or not. I'm sure we were heading for divorce regardless.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 07:48 PM
2

I can understand. I was always the one left to pick up the pieces with my ex. I still have items in my house that probably need to be thrown out. My ex took 90% of the stuff as well. Now she is moving 2 hours away with her new boyfriend. Who knows what she'll do with all my furniture, TVs, brand new washer and dryer, etc. I had to refurnish my house even though i couldn't really afford it after the divorce. I dreamt about her all night last night. I dont want her back but I still miss her some d…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 01:33 PM
3

My ex is making my life hell as well. She is alienating my teen daughter and every time I begin to make progress, she goes back to her mom and she withdrawals again. My ex is intentionally manipulating her because she wants to move away with her AP and wants full custody for more child support and doesn't have to bother with traveling. Last time my daughter came over she stayed up all night begging to go home because she sleeps in bed with her mom every night and wasn't comfortable here. My ex a…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 09:06 PM
1

Believe me I try.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 02:30 AM
4

Yeah, I delt with a cell phone issue as well. She is a nurse and got like a 15% discount from Verizon so it was in her name. The problem is that she added some of her family members who weren't consistently paying their bills. I ended up having to pay them. I was going to stay on the line and literally NO ONE paid their bill for a couple of months and it was on auto pay from my account, so I told her to release my line. She wouldn't so I almost just got a new line but didn't want to lose my numb…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 09:59 PM
2

Being a man is brutal sometimes. Im thinking about going off grid but I wouldn't survive for a week.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 09:06 PM
4

Perhaps. Every interaction with her feels like bait.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 08:36 PM
6

I see your point but the drunken hobo doesn't have lawyers and my kids. You underestimate that my ex is crazier than any drunken hobo. I usually can let things slide off me, but lately it's been one thing after another, and i just feel like disappearing off the grid for awhile.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 08:14 PM
3

Yeah it sucks because im just starting to pay my 2025 stuff. I hate being behind with the IRS. I have always been ahead. But yeah. I regret it every time I talk to her. I actually could have saved thousands filing jointly with her last year but didn't want to do her any favors. My accountant can't stand her either.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 08:05 PM
6

Good advice. I had thought about contacting the IRS as well to see if they can bill her for the other half. I just know in her eyes, it will mean war. She'll have to find another way to punish me for not paying her taxes.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 07:55 PM
6

I feel this at 41. I don't see myself trusting anyone again. Not only that, I don't want to end up supporting a single mom and her kids.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 08:51 PM
11

Im about 6 months post separation and divorced since late December. It was certainly rough for awhile, but it's getting better recently. I actually had to see my ex face to face last weekend and to my surprise, I didn't feel anything. She is a habitual liar and cheater. There is nothing to miss. Literally the only thing I miss about her is sex. And even that wasn't that great with her. Some days I want a girlfriend but im enjoying my peace and quiet too much. The silence of an empty home was pai…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 01:59 PM
3

It will over time. Look at the bright side, if you had kids, you couldn't simply walk away from her and never see her again. It seems like a common occurrence that women get bored around the 20 year mark and move on. Divorce her ass, grey rock and dissappear from her life. Find someone better who isn't a psycho and have your kid. Don't set expectations for it to last forever. As a matter of fact, there are better odds of it lasting for a lifetime if she knows she is easily replaceable. My ex lef…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 07:57 PM
4

You can still have fun. Go out and have drinks and sleep with women, if that's what you define as fun. Your life isn't over. Im just enjoying my peace and getting rest like I haven't been able to in two decades. I was always on my toes walking on eggshells with my ex. Im over it for awhile. Im in no rush to date. I've spent a majority of my life in relationships and it's always non-stop BS. Most of us tried to do the right thing and got screwed. Lesson learned. It seems like loyalty is almost no…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 02:37 AM
2

My divorce was over about as quickly as yours. I rushed things in order to not end up in a court room and save on attorney fees. This ment lots of communication with the ex and getting her to sign an agreement. No regrets on that part.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 02:38 PM
2

Block them all. Im dealing with drama from the ex today as well. Her and her whole family are insane. I haven't been involved with any of them for about 4 months and I stopped by her house Thursday to try to see my oldest, who im sure is on drugs and it opened up a can of worms. My son is out of control. I know he smokes weed because vapes have been found but im concerned about meth or something. He's hanging with the wrong crowds and he doesn't want to be around me because I discipline him. Shi…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 12:09 AM
3

The book No More Mr Nice Guy gets brought up a lot in this sub as well. I made it about half way through it and need to finish it. There is some good stuff in there.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 09:47 PM
3

Feeling Good by Dr David Burns has helped me quite a bit. Same principles as CBT counseling but much cheaper.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 06:46 PM
4

Same. I have a multisystemic autoimmune disorder that puts me on my butt every once in awhile. I have it relatively under control but it makes me worry about dating a bit. Many women have their own issues as well later in life. Some may care and some may not. My ex wife who so happened to be a nurse wasn't sympathetic about my disease at all. She got angry if I needed a rest day, which wasn't often. I keep very active and work as a full time contractor. Im still in much better shape than many pe…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 05:12 AM
3

How is your life these days 5 years after?
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 04:58 AM
6

Same dude. I caught my wife cheating over 10 years ago. We broke up and she begged to come back. Deep down I could never forgive her. Over the years signs would pop up and I caught her talking to other men. I stuck around for my kids and I knew it would be much harder financially on my own. Correct. Once a cheater
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 02:04 PM
2

Block her dude. I blocked my ex and her whole family. Any contact is dont through email.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 05:27 AM
5

I went off on my ex a couple of times early on. All it did was make me look like a fool. Once they move on, they dont care. You can't make someone who is soulless/heartless care. Hell, you probably made her day as she knows your still screwed up about it. Save your dignity and do your venting right here, pal. I still feel like letting my ex know what an ice queen she is. She would probably thoroughly enjoy knowing that she still lives rent-free in my head. She does a little, but I will suffer in…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 04:00 AM
1

I was cheated on numerous times as well. I caught her in many lies. I can only imagine what she did that I didn't catch. My ex was having an affair prior to divorce and now she is moving in with the guy. She bagged a rich, successful guy. Once she knew she had him locked down, she couldn't get to that court house fast enough to file. I delt with if for a long time for kids and lack of self confidence i suppose. I also stayed because I knew divorce would be very expensive. Big mistake. I should h…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 08:44 PM
2

How long ago was your divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 08:05 PM
2

I understand exactly what you're going through.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 05:19 PM
3

It is her loss, man. Women just get bored then destroy our lives. Sounds like your on the right path. I just struggle with a positive outlook on the future.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 04:18 PM
3

Im sorry, man. Im here if you need someone to talk to.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 02:56 PM
3

Nice work, man. It certainly does count.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 06:07 AM
1

She is dead to me and I dont really care what she thinks but I don't want her to think I still care because I know she gets off on that shit. She enjoyed the hell out of burning my life down and couldn't even deny it. Contact has been very limited over the last few months. I set boundaries with her as we have set schedules, my daughter is old enough to be self sufficient and there's nothing left to speak about unless it's an emergency. I grey rock and run my messages through AI to remove any emo…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 05:19 AM
3

That's actually good advice. I have a constant loop of guilt and self depreciating talk in my head. I need to be kinder to myself.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 04:32 AM
2

I know dating would be bad right now as much as I miss the touch of a woman. I'll probably wait several more months. Im trying with the confidence. I just dont know where to start. Im exercising and listening to audiobooks and stuff like that. Perhaps it will just take time to see the results. What are you doing to build yourself? I didn't want to pay for counseling but maybe I should. I've been in counseling and I pretty much know all the tools. I've got some books to brush up stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 04:29 AM
2

I definitely talk down to myself and I know better. "You are what you believe yourself to be" so they say I am my own worst enemy. I am trying to be better myself. Sometimes I feel like it's worthless and maybe I should slip back into some old self-destructive habits. My daughter keeps me from doing anything stupid. On top of that I know my ex would get pleasure seeing me crumble to pieces. So this is the only place I can let it out.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 04:23 AM
3

I appreciate ya brother. Im happy you're starting to have some good days. It's just weird as I think this is the worst week ive had in a month. Who knows. Everything feels like a blur. Maybe that's why they say to journal. I will definitely hit you up sometime
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 04:16 AM
4

I've been sober from drugs and alcohol for a long time. I do occasionally have a beer - like maybe one or two on the holidays. I got really lonely about 2 months into separation and decided to go to the bar. Made my brother take me. I probably had 3-4 drinks and 4 beers. I got MESSED UP. I got a bartenders number but she didn't return my message, probably because I got too wasted and started stumbling around and shit. Embarrassing but a learning moment. On top of that i had a headache for 2 days…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 02:37 AM
4

They love the control.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 01:22 AM
2

That about sums it up. When they make all these romance movies, they always skip the part where she fucks you over in the end. They should start adding that part. Im tired of the lies. Innocent men need to know.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 11:54 PM
2

You need therapy brother. Women will use you, chew you up, and spit you out simply because they're bored. It's okay to miss the kids but dont allow thw succubus to ruin your life.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 10:59 PM
10

Learn from your mistakes. Don't repeat them. Alcohol will ruin your life. I had my battle with it for years. I have been sober for 11 years. I cleaned my life up for my family but it didn't make a difference in the long run. She still left me for someone else after 18 years. Im still working towards being the best version of myself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 10:39 PM
3

I tried. It didn't make a bit of difference as she constantly lied.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 03:57 AM
2

Please dont tell me that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 03:55 AM
3

Work is the only thing that can take my mind off shit for a little while. Some days are horrible, some i can focus on my job. The times that I really fall apart is when I have time off and isolate myself. Work out and get into some self help books, my friend. Time off may backfire and cause deeper depression.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 03:35 AM
5

As someone who has struggled with depression as well, diet and exercise help immensely. Hit the gym. Depression hates a moving target. Get some hobbies to keep your mind occupied. Get some books on mindfulness and cognitive therapy or get into counseling. Big hugs brother. You're going to get through this stronger than ever.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 03:27 AM
1

Do you have a child support order from the court? Does she work?
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 03:22 AM
7

I wouldn't give her a damn penny unless there's an order. I bought my kids groceries every Sunday when I did my grocery shopping after my wife left. Saved receipts. My attorney made sure I didn't owe any back child support. I know you care for your kids but take care of yourself first. If your greedy ex wants to be a single mom, she can figure it out. My outlook may be controversial here, I dont know. Just dont be a doormat my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 03:20 AM
8

If she ends up with him, he'll experience the emotional and physical neglect after the honeymoon phase. My ex was probably one of the worst partners I ever had in bed. She pretended in the beginning but she only wanted to stick to what she liked in the bedroom over time. She also had a very low libido. She values material things over connection. Im sure she is putting on a show for her new dude but once she knows she has him in the bag, it will stop. I am going to find someone fun in bed after I…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 03:02 PM
4

Thats what they say but who knows. My daughter told me dude is buying a house for them to move into. She's a gold digger. Once she found a rich older guy, she almost broke a leg running down to the court house to file.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 07:01 PM
6

Yes. She told me "God told me to leave you." But I assume it was her affair partner that told her to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 06:17 PM
6

Im closed off completely right now. I haven't attempted dating yet.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 02:28 AM
2

It really is sickening. Unfortunately there's nothing I can do about it. If I were the same guy I was 10 years ago, I would probably show up to his office. This won't solve anything though, aside from making me look crazy. Now im left dealing with the trauma, trust issues, and financial burden of the divorce. He is taking my family on vacation next month. He just took my ex to Hawaii last month, 2 weeks after the divorce was finalized. There isn't shit i can do about it aside from disconnecting …
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 05:13 PM
4

I've almost thought about reaching out to my ex's boyfriend too to let him know that she is a serial cheater and habitual liar. I am sure he knew she was still married when they were talking because im sure he helped her with the divorce. I can only imagine the lies and bullshit she fed him. She is a perpetual victim who can take zero accountability. Her new boyfriend has money, so once she found out she had him secured, she couldn't file fast enough. Its been 3 months and he is already buying a…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 03:37 PM
3

I think most of us have some, if not many regrets. I certainly was no where near perfect, especially early on in the relationship. There were also things out of my hands that caused issues such as financial and health problems (which are better now.) I tried to grow in my relationship but she seemed to get worse with age. When guilt starts to creep in i just immediately mentally shut it down. There is no point in torturing myself. She did much more horrible things to me and never took accountabi…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 05:00 AM
7

Mine had a message come in saying "sex was amazing" from a number saved under a girls name. This was just one of many things. I could probably write a book of all the bullshit that she did.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 05:15 AM
3

Very nice!
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 05:04 AM
11

She is giving you breadcrumbs. Don't fall for it. If she left you and found someone else, let him have her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 05:02 AM
2

I was gonna say something similar. Foreplay and make her cum once or twice before beginning.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 04:22 AM
5

Yeah, I used to have a unstoppable sex drive. After all the gaslighting and cheating from my ex, I have lost most desire. Hopefully It returns over time. I read it's normal with this sort of trauma. I'm sure the depression doesn't help.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 05:10 PM
2

It's just going to take time. Try to engage the least amount possible with your ex. Grey rock her. Don't speak any words to her than what is absolutely necessary for your kids care. If you have any long messages you need to send her, run them through AI to remove any emotion from them. I know how bad it hurts to be betrayed like this. Just keep your cool from now on, Communicate through email and Perhaps even use a family member to exchange kids. I haven't seen my ex in months and ive made it cl…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 05:11 AM
3

I'm sorry buddy. It is fucking hard. Unfortunately you're likely never going to get the answers you seek. You just have to learn to be okay with not knowing the reason why she did these things to you. Learn to let it go and find peace for yourself. I wouldn't be breaking the bank to help her out. Do you have a lawyer? Go to the gym, find some hobbies, find a good friend that you can let it all out to (dm me if you need to unload some of this shit.) I dont mind listening. Read and listen to self …
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 02:31 AM
14

How do you know my life story?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 07:33 PM
1

In a way I hope she moves but it will make seeing my daughter more difficult. We spent 18 years together and everything in this town reminds me of her. Every TV show, movie and song we listened to together. I'm sure eventually these memories won't be so painful but always there. I will be fine. Part of me is relieved it's over.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 02:03 AM
2

Soon your good days will become more frequent. I had a couple of really bad days where I almost felt like contacting my ex but I fought through it. Then the last couple of days my common sense has returned. Why would I want a liar and cheater back?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 12:47 AM
2

Still have okay days and bad days. I assume I'll be dealing with that for awhile. Every once in awhile I'll get a brief period where im optimistic about the future.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 04:10 PM
2

You should definitely go no contact. Ask your family and friends to block her on social media and let them know you're not interested in hearing any updates. This has helped me a ton. You are reopening the wound, my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 03:32 PM
1

Document everything, even what your kids tell you. This is all evidence if you need to fight for more custody in the future. Hope everything works out for you and your kids, my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 03:21 AM
2

I dont have any advice but I hope you get it figured out. My daughter eats nothing but frozen chicken nuggets and fast food with mom. She only gets real, home-cooked meals with me. I worry that she sits on her tablet at mom's house as well. I try to keep her busy when she is here.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 02:33 AM
1

How did it go?
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 12:49 AM
3

Believe me, I understand. My last sexual encounter with my ex was the day before she left. It's going to beat you up for awhile. You're going to have questions that will never get answered. I'm still struggling to let go of 18 years. After some months of clarity, I can now see there's no going back. You can't change people. I didn't deserve all the bullshit she put me through. I took the control away from her when I set boundaries and grey rocked. I dont respond to personal jabs. I dont respond …
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 12:41 AM
4

That's cool not to look. Another relationship might find you. I feel the same way right now. I am 41 but I think I will have a girlfriend eventually. I just dont care to go out and look for it right now. I have lots of work to do on myself and it's so much easier alone. Perhaps I'll get content on just being alone. I really have no clue. I dont really have the desire to be a step dad, so that really narrows down my options. Only time will tell.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 11:47 PM
3

Are you court ordered to pay her attorney fees? Tell them you dont have it. Can't squeeze blood from a turnip.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 11:39 PM
1

She's shopping for a replacement, if she already hasn't found one yet. This story sounds all to familiar. Get your ducks in a row. BE PREPARED. Buy some gold. Gift your expensive shit to your best friend, if she hasn't already gone through the house taking pictures. My ex was doing botox, working out, reading a shit load of self help garbage and spending hours on her phone. She was also hiding money and talking to a lawyer. I had a feeling and I caught her planning. Once I caught on, thankfully …
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 11:34 PM
1

The drama with my ex and her family didn't end until I walked away and grey rocked for the last couple of months. I blocked her family. My kids are older and we have a court appointed schedules, so there isn't much let to talk about. I told my ex to only message me Sundays about the children's business, unless of course it's an emergency. This has helped my mental health a ton. As much as it hurts, you have to cut out toxic relationships. I'm sorry your going through this. Don't give her a chanc…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 11:20 PM
1

I appreciate the honesty. I have been thinking of trying to get laid but I don't know if it's worth it. I am still too busted up about my broken family as well. The silence of my home drove me crazy at first but now im beginning to find it peaceful. When my ex was here, I rarely had a moment to rest and when I tried to set boundaries and said "I need some me time" she would make me feel guilty for it. My kids are with the ex a majority of the time. I think she somewhat regrets getting a majority…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 10:08 PM
1

I feel you. The thought of dating right now is scary.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 02:21 PM
2

That a good outlook, my man. I am also trying to rebuild myself as well. I'm working out and just taking care of me. I don't plan on dating until I reach my fitness goals It's lonely but I can't feel too bad for myself. There's millions of lonely folks out there. It will get easier. Wishing you the best on your journey.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 04:31 AM
1

I appreciate it. The healing process has been a roller-coaster. I never imagined it would be so difficult. I wish you better days as well. We'll pull through eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 02:09 AM
2

I feel ya. I'm still pretty fresh into this world alone, so hopefully it improves with time. Some days it's cool, others it sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 11:40 PM
4

Yup. I'm torn because I don't want to re-injure myself but I'm so damned lonely. I just feel like women use us like a commodity, then once they find something they consider "better value" they move on like nothing. I also feel old and ugly after being with someone for nearly 20 years. I don't even know if women are still attracted to me. I used to not even have to try. I have also been cheated on every relationship. Maybe it's time to be single but it sounds depressing.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 11:15 PM
4

4.5 months in. Some days I feel the fog lifting, others are just gloomy. I never imagined it to be so hard. It is getting better though. Loneliness is a bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 07:24 PM
2

I sure hope so. It gets better for a day or two then gets worse again. Unfortunately I can't cut connections as we have kids. So I have to always hear updates of what's going on in her life. Sometimes this reopens the wounds. Oh, and walking through all the stores around valentine's day really sucked.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 06:15 PM
1

My ex immediately moved on and has a boyfriend. As bad as I'd like to work it out, I just don't see how. I already had trust issues from other things she did in the past. She would never put in the work to gain my trust back. Some days my mind is moving on and others it is fantasizing about her running back to me. I would never ask again though. I tried to get her back immediately after she left, then like a month later I wrote her a couple of long emails. I just got grey rocked. So I gave up. I…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 06:04 PM
5

During the divorce i just felt like I was in survival mode. The big crash didn't come until a week after it was completed and reality set in. I had also found out about my ex having a boyfriend the following weekend. I have okay days and bad days but I just do what I can to try to keep my stress levels down. I still have no clue what I want to do with my life. I dream of my family being home almost every night. It is difficult. I am doing better, though.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 02:51 PM
3

4 1/2 months in and I just play it day by day. I just do what I can to take care of myself.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 02:33 PM
8

I sure hope so. It's getting better but still difficult. I made a vow to myself to not date until I reach my goals with physical fitness and im totally over my ex. Loneliness sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 09:45 PM
3

The first month my family was out of the house, I had constant chest pain. There is an actual medical term called "broken heart syndrome." So try to keep your stress levels down as much as possible. I lost my mom last year as well. Its all been almost more than I could take. My relationship wasn't perfect but I was happy. I had some suspicions. I chose to give her the benefit of the doubt. But she pretended everything was cool until the last day. She continued to plan the future and have sexual …
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 03:55 AM
10

I have been apart from my ex for 4 months. There were signs that she was cheating and seeing someone but it wasn't confirmed until about a month ago. Her sister told me that she knew the guy from work from a job 2 1/2 years ago. She was on vacation with the dude a week after the divorce was finalized. This information hurt me much worse than the initial separation and divorce. The one positive is that it ripped me right out of any feelings of denial. I was with my ex for 18 years. It will get be…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 12:35 AM
2

Learn an instrument. I play guitar and I have been learning so much more in my spare time. I also went to a climbing gym for the first time this weekend. It was so much fun! It may become something I do every weekend. I also like to cook. On my days off I'll fire up the smoker and cook some good shit (even in winter). Play some video games. Go for long drives. I like to hunt for cool antiques. I hit estate sales and such. I have found some treasures that I have been able to flip and make real go…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 07:08 PM
1

I am keeping a plant alive that my ex MIL bought us as a housewarming gift and also another one with flowers on it that I bought my ex. I'd just feel bad for the plants letting them die for some reason.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 02:58 AM
0

Talk to her and see if you both can just agree to keep your personal items. I let my ex take pretty much all the future in the house in order for her to leave my tools and 2nd truck alone. The value of my stuff was certainly higher. The bonus is that I got to buy new furniture and not have the memories with the old stuff. I think she was hiding some cash away. No biggie. I rushed to an agreement because I didn't want them digging too much on my end. The quicker you settle the better. I settled b…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 02:54 AM
2

I hate to use my kids as a pawn in the game, but my ex fought me for 70% custody and thats what she got. Now she wants to try to dump my daughter off with me for her to go out of town with her new fling. I politely told her to fuck off because I gave her exactly what she wanted. I love my kids but I enjoy my me time. We have our visitation schedule etched in stone. I have no problem with my daughter staying over more time if my little girl asks me. No im not going to play babysitter for her to g…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 03:51 AM
10

Man if she loved you she wouldn't be cheating on you. I put up with this shit for years with my ex woman. She was secretive of her phone, I caught her talking to guys over and over. We'd break up and she would beg to come back then repeat. Finally she left me for another dude and I feel like a fool for not standing strong earlier. Your girl is bored and shopping for something "better." Once she finds something solid she'll monkey branch and leave you high and dry. Its going to hurt now but it wi…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 10:38 PM
2

That's a gamble that you should probably speak to a lawyer about. Unless she is abusive or a drug addict she will likely end up with 50% custody. She sounds like she doesn't really have that motherly instinct so perhaps she would give you a majority of custody. Some women only choose to keep their kids because they get paid.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 05:47 AM
1

I couldn't see mine cheating either. We were together 18 years and she was even affectionate. The only major red flag is that she seemed guarded with her phone. She blindsided me with divorce then hopped on a plane to Hawaii with a coworker from her last job. I never thought it would happen to me. All im saying is keep an eye out.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 03:22 AM
2

That's brutal friend. Im sorry. I know how you feel and you aren't alone.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 08:26 PM
1

I hear ya. How long have you been apart from your ex? I most certainly am bitter. Her or someone from her family seemingly have to reach out for some random BS every day or two. Its always negative and everyone feels i should just brush this off and be okay with the situation. I wish I could cut them off for good. They always make a point to drop some sort of judgment in any call or message. I dont want a relationship with her family anymore. Anytime I talk to any of them, anything I say goes ar…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 03:56 PM
8

I think we rarely get closure, unless perhaps the split is mutual. Any attempts I had made for some understanding with my ex resulted in her telling me what a POS i am and blaming it all on me. I worked too much, I didn't take her on enough vacations, I tried to be frugal vs recklessly spend, etc. Anything to shift the blame from her simply getting bored and cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 03:04 PM
2

It is a struggle. It feels like I've lost everything in my life. She played me up until the very end. I spent half my life with her. It is the hardest thing I've ever had to experience.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 02:47 PM
6

Her sister told me and she also told my daughter once she moved out. My ex literally told me that she met the dude after separation. Then she told my daughter that she used to work with him over 2 years ago before we moved. Within a week of separation I was served with papers and she was talking about moving back to the city that we lived in a couple hours away where the dude lives. She was always very guarded with her phone. I mentioned a few times and she blew up and called me insecure. She wo…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 05:52 AM
6

Yeah bro. The guy is a doctor that she used to work with. You'd think a doctor in his 40s or 50s (not sure of age but I saw a picture) with 3 kids would have better sense. It could just be that she gaslit him like everyone else around her. For all I know the dude could be a nice guy and she has been lying her ass off. Or he could be a sleaze bag. But I feel ya. I could never mess with a married woman. I probably wouldn't even want one freshly divorced. Too much baggage. I heard the doc is recent…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 02:53 AM
8

I found out months later that she monkey branched. I had strong suspicions but no solid proof. She said she "just wanted to be single." Come to find out she had been seeing the dude for a long time. I believe he helped her plan the divorce and potentially even payed her attorney. It didn't hurt as bad believing her lies. I found out the truth about a week ago and it messed me up again.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 02:31 AM
2

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 02:25 PM
3

Quite possibly. I was nieve and took my ex's word for it when she moved out. I even stuck up for her when my friends suggested there was someone else. Now she is suddenly in a serious relationship with someone she used to work with. Obviously she was cheating. There were signs I chose to ignore. It really messed up my reality. I only found out like 4 days ago. Her family spilled the beans on her. Another thing is I dont know how she paid for an attorney as we shared accounts. She also talked abo…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 02:54 AM
2

Send him here. Does he use reddit?
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 02:16 AM
1

Where do you find these groups?
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 05:16 AM
3

I greatly appreciate you and people like you who have gone out of your way to talk some sense into me and bring me back to reality. I know this is a new beginning but it is terrifying right now. Sometimes I'm excited for the future and other times it feels bleak. This whole experience is 1000 times harder than I ever expected it would be. I dont think I've cried in a decade. I didn't cry the first few months we were apart or during the divorce. I have my daughter here this weekend and I've had t…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 12:30 AM
3

Since September 25th, so nearly 4 months. I was doing much better until I found out all the gaslighting and lying bullshit was 100% true. It ripped the wounds back open. I could barely eat or sleep the last 3 days. It pulled me back to day one pretty much. But at the same time it's eye opening and a bit of very uncomfortable closure. The fucked up part is that she even kept lying to me for months after the breakup. Saying "I just want to be single." Like why fucking hide it? Because she knew per…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 10:33 PM
3

I totally agree with everything you are saying. I am still feeling very insecure. How long have you been separated?
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 10:14 PM
3

Yes nobody cares. I did in fact confirm that my ex is in Hawaii with her boyfriend. Her sister decided to get in touch with me and give me a ton of details that I probably could have gone without knowing. Ex has known the guy for years from a previous job. She claimed they just recently started talking. Bullshit. So many lies and hiding her phone. All this reality just set in and put me back in shock. I blocked her from social media but family let me know she posted pics with the guy on her vaca…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 07:25 PM
4

I've been separated almost 4 months and divorce finalized just recently. My ex is already on vacation with some dude and posting pics on social media. She tells everyone they met after separation. Bullshit. He was definitely the reason she left but she was trying to keep it a secret from me. I just found out 2 days ago and her sister told me she has been talking to dude for years. I didn't even know for sure if she was seeing someone as she was lying about it. Now I know the truth and it has hit…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 03:36 AM
1

I dont know if im stronger. Im starting to wonder if I died and went to hell. I have been barely coping since the holidays. My ex has been rubbing it in my face the last 2 days. Im hoping karma does it's thing as affair partners have a very small chance of success.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 01:10 AM
1

Dude similar shit here. Has to literally chose to pull the plug on my mom last year as she had a stroke and went brain dead. I have been messed up over that. Lost my grandma a few years before and she was like a mother to me. My wife cheated and left me for a fucking doctor. They are in Hawaii right now. Her and her family never let me have a couple days of peace without harassing me about something. My nervous system is shot.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 03:40 AM
0

Good god I'd probably be going to jail. What a punk. Listen to other people's advice on this one. I just found out my ex has a boyfriend and how long they have been seeing each other (while we were married) and I lost my cool. Her sister decided to give me all this information. I called my ex a few names. In hindsight, it could look bad if she drags me back in court. But she's literally dumping my kids off with her mother to go get fucked. I said what I needed to say now im done. It was worth it…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 03:32 AM
6

Sounds similar to what happened to me. She played me until she found a new "better" man so I would keep helping her pay bills and such. Once she had the new guy locked in with money she was gone and i was getting served with papers. Why would it be ripped into little pieces if she wasn't hiding something from you? Your higher power left you a sign. I found all sorts of little clues that I chose to ignore, now I feel like a full blown fucking idiot. I should have left long ago as I was finding th…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 03:22 AM
2

I keep the TV on most of the day for background noise. The silence is nice but excruciating at the same time. I have been sleeping better as there isn't people in the house constantly making noise.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 03:12 PM
3

Thank you friend.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 04:32 AM
8

I live in a smaller town that may not have any groups like that. I will look into it though. I could use some new friends but im a bit of an introvert and have a hard time making new connections. Its something I plan on working on though. I just want to get content being by myself without slipping into a bad depression. Once that is achieved then I may begin dating again. Reality has just hit hard lately. I can say, without a doubt, that this group has been one of the best tools for coping and i…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 04:30 AM
5

I hope so too. You stay strong as well.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 04:15 AM
4

Are you back in a relationship or have you chose to just focus on yourself? Any book recommendations? I've already been working on "no more mister nice guy" as recommended by others on this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 02:57 AM
5

I have been doing some walking and hiking. I am pretty much sober these days, thank goodness. In the past I would have just drank this pain away and probably do something else stupid while being drunk. I haven't always been successful in my life until recent years. I was actually proud how I handled the divorce. I fought for myself and came out pretty well. Maybe all the anger and anxiety from the divorce has worn off and I have just been slapped with acceptance. Acceptance that the future that …
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 02:54 AM
3

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 02:39 AM
2

Man, I even have a hard time forming new relationships with people as they generally just end out screwing you over in the long run. I have one best friend who is the biggest asshole I know but he's the only one who has been loyal to me since middle school. I've had some good friends that have moved away. At 41 and being married for 2 decades i kinda gave up on making friends. I know i need to make major changes, I just dont know where to begin. I don't know why im having such a hard time this w…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 02:37 AM
2

I was in a similar situation for years. No STI but I caught my ex talking to men several times and she left for a dude for 2 months until he literally threw her around from her probably getting mouthy. I kept taking her back. I wasted nearly 2 decades on this garbage human. I hoped she would mature out of it because she was good for the first 8 to 10 years we were married then she turned into a monster. I told myself the last 2 times that she left "I am not taking her back if she does this shit …
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 08:56 PM
5

This is the exact outline my ex used when she cut me off. I didn't even realize until I joined this sub then walled her off in the same manner.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 03:30 AM
3

My daughter has been acting out big time when she comes over. She knows she can get away with more so if I punish her in any way she just wants to go back with mommy. She is 13 by the way My ex never let me discipline my kids or teach them any responsibility. She would side with them most of the time but if she got angry at one of the kids she would yell for hours and she has even beat my son pretty bad a few times. They still always side with their mom. My son is almost 18 and I brought him to …
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 06:11 AM
1

Yes that comes to mind. I am very codependent and that probably stems from my father leaving my life as a young teenager. This has improved some with age. My mother would also get very depressed between boyfriends and husbands. She left my dad for a man then he left her a few years later and she stayed in bed for 6 months. She had some mental health issues. The crazy thing is that my ex really started reminding me of my mother in the later years. My mom treated men like shit then wondered why he…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 08:19 PM
3

It makes my stomach turn. It was a crazy year. I actually witnessed a man offing himself on father's day. He drove off a high cliff. He was ejected from the vehicle and I saw his mangled body laying on the rocks. Some Facebook posts revealed that he was going through something like this. I definitely had similar thoughts the first couple of months. I wouldn't do it though because she would probably enjoy it. She would use it to get sympathy. I've lived through many horrific things in this life a…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 06:47 PM
3

You are correct. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:29 PM
1

That has kinda been the plan. I just wanted to look. I do just want to get comfortable living alone before I even think of dating again. I am healing but far too broken. There is a urge to feel the void but im sure thats normal. Im beginning to enjoy my space and time alone. Still, some days are very difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:27 PM
2

I wholeheartedly agree but every time I make a bit of progress something else happens to drag me back down. I know the dark cloud will lift eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 05:15 AM
4

I appreciate the encouragement, my friend
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:47 AM
2

If you think she is talking to someone she probably is. You have to trust you gut. I caught my ex a few times talking to men and she punished me for it. She still admits no fault. The only time she ever apologized was when I left her and she came crawling back. She also left one time and I said "im done stay gone!" and she showed up in the middle of the night crying and said "she had a problem and didn't know why she lied, that maybe she got it from her mom" I should have never took her back. I …
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:43 AM
2

Its a rough road. I've never experienced depression like this. I believe it's getting better but the holidays were rough and now finding this out was a kick in the nuts. My mind keeps tricking me into just thinking about the good times while forgetting about all the horrible things she did to me. Now she is creating memories with someone new and enjoying the "honeymoon phase" while im too broken to even think about dating. How long ago did you find out?
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:20 AM
3

I have 6 years of child support. So I feel you there. At least one of my kids will be 18 in 6 months.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:13 AM
3

Yeah, none of that sounds fun. Im glad she'll face a bit of karma. Hopefully she learns a lesson for the benefit of your children. Im glad my ex decided to leave when she decided she wanted the divorce. I have only seen her face once since. I make it a point to avoid her when children are getting dropped off/picked up.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:10 AM
4

I have kind of been scrolling some dating apps and Facebook dating groups and it looks like a minefield. Most of these divorced women are divorced for a reason. On top of all that my best friend has been trying to find a girlfriend for 2 years and I have to listen to his dating horror stories. I am just feeling hopeless as I was relatively happy in my marriage. I dont want to start over and I don't want to be a step dad or any of that shit. Maybe my views will change in the coming months or year…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:00 AM
4

I need to keep reminding myself of that but it's difficult. She will pretend to be everything that dude wants for a few months but the truth will come out.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 03:46 AM
5

Yes they are evil. I sit here every night broken hearted and she just mocks me. I wish I could cut contact but I obviously can't as we have kids. Its like they all use the same playbook when they're trying to mess with our heads. I dont understand whats so fucking difficult about honesty. She claims to be a "Christian" but is a pathological liar.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 03:43 AM
2

She had to have been talking to an attorney prior to separation as I got served within one week. I immediately hired a lawyer and sped the process along. I followed the advice I heard here to keep it the fuck outta the courtroom and got her to sign a deal. I was able to protect myself a bit and walked away much better off than her. She sighed on a Friday and our first hearing would have been the following Monday. It only took like a week for the judge to sign the papers after we signed.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 03:28 AM
2

I really fucking hope so but I won't hold my breath. I think the dude helped pay her lawyer as i dont know how she came up with the money. She also hasn't been up my ass about the divorce settlement, which is surprising. I have to pay it by like the 17th. He will find out though, you are correct. Are you still stuck living with your ex? How much longer do you have to deal with that?
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 03:23 AM
3

Im sorry to hear that. That's really messed up.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 03:15 AM
3

Yeah, my ex was on telegram as well. I have never used the app but Someone i know said they saw her on there. Its just sickening when they try to flip the script and try to make you sound insane.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 03:03 AM
12

Ironically, a nurse. I got stuck with some of her student loans in the divorce. She was working a low paying job (for a nurse in the area) because it was low stress. I spent the last year helping her build a business. I gave her nearly all of the money for equipment and supplies and to pay the medical director. She basically used me until it started turning some profit.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 01:40 AM
6

Congrats. Thick goths are hot. Enjoy!
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 12:37 AM
2

You're seeing through rose colored glasses right now. Make a list of all the shitty things she has done to you in the past. Fixate on the bad. You're going to do fine on your own. I am about 3.5 months in. Just finalized the divorce. I am starting to enjoy being alone. No more trying to please someone who is impossible to please. I still dream of my ex almost every night but she did so many fucked up things that I know it would come to an end eventually. Better sooner than later. I dont even see…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 12:33 AM
9

Silence. No emotions or feelings from here on out. No communication unless you have children then treat it like a business relationship. Look up "grey rock method" if you haven't heard of it yet.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 12:23 AM
0

Im 40 and lost my wife of 18 years. Im not going to lie, I made many mistakes and bad choices - especially early in the marriage. For over the last decade I have been the best man i could possibly be. I never talked to women, except in a professional manner. I never accepted women's friend request on social media, I never spoke bad about my wife when she wasn't around. I kept finding her talking to men every couple of years. She would gaslight me and blame it on me when I would catch her. She di…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 03:40 AM
2

Its your house, everything is in your name, you're not married? Hire a lawyer for custody, send her out for a nice weekend with her boyfriend, set her things on the curb and change the locks. Trust me the kids will adjust. Raising them in this awkward situation is probably doing more harm than good. Talk to a lawyer now. I feel a little bit guilty for my ex's situation at times, then I remember that she is a lying, manipulative cheater and she did all this to herself. I owe her nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 05:04 PM
1

Don't lift a damned finger for her. She left you, your money and your empathy. Use your money for a lawyer and get your kids back. She doesn't care about you. Women can shut feelings off no matter how long you were together or what you did for them. I was with my ex for 18 years and she tried to blindside me with a divorce. She was speaking to a lawyer while still making plans for the future with me. I caught her thankfully because I knew something was off. I tried to plea for forgiveness for wh…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 04:44 PM
–

I've been apart from my ex for 3 months and I have to talk myself out of messaging her almost every day. Why? Because she is a crazy narcissist who fucked me over every possible way she could. I love her and miss her but she did nothing but lie to me when I was legitimately trying. The bottom line is, you can't change people. Set your boundaries and walk away if a woman can't respect them. Fight for custody of your kids and get far away from that narcissist. I was in your position before but you…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 06:50 AM
7

I love yall too! This sub has got me through some dark evenings. Life is good. I went on a long hike today as the weather is nice and got a big burger on the way home. Now im sitting in front of my new huge ass TV on my new furniture as my ex took everything. Its nice being alone on the holidays.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 12:39 AM
6

Brother you can do whatever the fuck you want! Enjoy!
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 12:33 AM
1

You're in the right place.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 12:31 AM
12

Yup, fuk Christmas. Im happy not to have any corny Christmas decorations cluttering up my house. Im happy I dont have to participate in a competition with her family "whose got the biggest stack of gifts under the tree?" She would get angry if her sister gave her kids more gifts than we did. We had to host all Christmas parties because we had the biggest house. I cooked all Christmas dinners and bought gifts for everyone in their family expecting nothing and getting nothing in return. Thank God …
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 12:30 AM
11

The more you do, the more she'll ask you to do. I did almost everything around the house so she expected that. I was working long hours this summer so I pushed her to take on more responsibility. I would get home at 8pm and the first thing out of her mouth: "what are you cooking the kids for dinner?" She rarely cleaned and never once cooked a home cooked meal in 18 years. I worked professionally as a chef at a nice hotel in my younger years and I can cook anything. I cooked almost every night an…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 12:16 AM
3

Thanks for the recommendation. I found the audiobook on Spotify for any that has a subscription.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 06:19 PM
4

Yes, my ex has a large family and I would even start shopping for all of them months before Christmas. She had to get all her close family like 3 gifts each. The last few Christmases I spent several thousand. This year my kids are getting stockings with some candy and gift cards (they're older and dont like anything i buy them anyway.) I didn't decorate my house. Im keeping it simple. The lawyer gets my Christmas money this year and so does my ex wife in the settlement but next year it's all gra…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 04:59 AM
3

Yes, it is what it is. I am doing okay but get moments of extreme sadness. I took my daughter to the mall the other day and walking through seeing the families, the Christmas music, the stores i used to shop at with my wife and buy her gifts from I almost lost it. A few tears rolled down my cheek. Do you have some friends and family to spend time with on Christmas?
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 03:25 AM
3

Yeah it sucks. Just got my divorce finalized the other day. I always had family over for the holidays but I will probably be solo this Christmas. My sister and brother in law were coming but she got a cold so that might not happen. I just want to treat it like any other day. Maybe I'll go out for a walk as the town will likely be quiet. I was married for 18 years. Life is weird now by myself.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 03:03 AM
2

Same here. 18 years and first Christmas alone. I can barely walk into stores with all the Christmas stuff going on without just about losing my shit. On the other hand I've been alone for 3 months and I am starting to enjoy the peace. Its just different. I have always been independent and took care of her instead of her taking care of me. She did jack shit around the house so my life is easier. She also drained on me financially a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 05:08 PM
2

I hear that. I have been sleeping like a baby most nights. I suffered with insomnia throughout a lot of my marriage. I am also self employed and my work is fairly seasonal. The divorce has eaten up most of my "cushion" for slower times. I am incredibly lonely but it is amazing to come home to a clean, quiet house, eat dinner in peace and watch a documentary until I fall asleep. I am a part time parent but I do be enjoying my alone time lately. I enjoy my kids company as well of course but im gra…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 02:49 AM
4

I immediately went to email only. It was suggested in the parenting class I had to take for "high conflict divorces." She would just find random BS to text me about during the day and throw my energy off. So I let her know that this is a business only relationship from now on and to only communicate on pickup/drop-off schedules via Gmail. I dont want to be buddies and want minimal contact as I can't completely cut contact all together as we have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 02:36 AM
8

We dont know both sides of the story of anyone who posts on here. Im sure there are some dirtbags on here. I wasn't perfect in my relationship but I learned from my mistakes and grew as an adult. Im just here to listen to others who are going through something similar as myself and offer support when I can. It is therapeutic and this sub has been a great tool. Obviously I can't dig in ones life and tell if they're full of shit or not. I am truly sorry your dad is like that. Im hanging with my da…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 02:21 AM
4

I feel you homie. You're not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 08:21 PM
2

Turn your life around. Stay sober, get into treatment, admit to the judge that you have a problem and that this is not the life you want to live. Go to NA meetings and get a slip signed from a sponsor, go to drug and alcohol counseling and bring proof to the court. In my experience they take it easier on people who are actively working on themselves. The counseling will help you regardless and it sounds like you need it for substances as well. I saved myself from prison time by doing all of this…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 08:15 PM
1

Me too. It can take a long time if I feel rushed.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 06:45 AM
2

Same here. I made some bad decisions when we were young and I wasn't quite ready for the responsibility. I tried to talk her out of getting married but she kept pushing. Well fast forward many years and i matured and took care of my family. She just got worse and became a pathological liar. I admit all of my faults and mistakes, she took accountability for none. Every horrible thing she did to me was my fault. I dont think i told a lie to her in over 10 years. I tried to lead by example and talk…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 05:34 AM
3

Alimony is a joke. Im so glad I live in a non Alimony state. I feel so bad for you guys. I am grateful my ex has a pretty good career as that saved my ass. 1700 per month is bonkers. Do you plan on ever getting married again?
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 05:22 AM
6

Mighty kind of you to move into the apartment and leave her the house. I would hurry up and sell the place and let her take a downgrade. Kid will adjust. My wife cleaned out my savings that I was going to buy a house with. She got her half and then extra for her student loan debt. I dont know if I'll ever rebuild what I had. She is already planning on taking me back to court as she isn't satisfied with the child support amount.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 05:07 AM
1

I feel this deep in my soul. I am sorry. My ex's discovery fucked me up as well. Its been 3 months since separation and I got the copy of the signed divorce papers by the judge from my attorney yesterday. I should probably be grateful but I feel like im dying inside. She is out having a great time and I can't even sit still because im still in so much pain from being ripped away from my family. I have been doing better some days but the last 2 days have been rough to say the least.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 04:56 AM
1

I have known some fellow men who have had money hungry spouses but I dont know too much of the details. I only have a couple of friends these days. I have learned it is important to set boundaries early on and to stick to them. Are you married or divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 05:20 AM
1

I think social media has bred generations of women who value what you can provide vs love and stability. I did absolutely love my wife even with all her shortcomings. Id ask her to settle down on spending when she would spend her entire check and nearly have the card maxed. I merely asked her to wait until payday. She told me I was controlling when I'd mention her account being overchecked due to an Amazon purchase and asking her "couldn't it wait until payday." I didn't mind her buying things i…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 05:00 AM
3

Yes, im sure she will blame me for years to come.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 03:45 AM
1

I intentionally gave her a card with a pretty low limit so it didn't rack up too much debt. I would also let her use another one that had a higher credit line for bigger purchases. Yes she definitely did max the smaller one often but I would just pay it every one or two weeks. I also let her pretty much spend all of her money aside from maybe paying the phone bill and a few hundred on the credit card every now and then. She said I was controlling with money because I didn't let her spend all of …
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 03:40 AM
6

I allowed my ex to destroy my life numerous times. She has left and came crawling back on a few occasions. These were the only times she ever apologized through crocodile tears. I caught her talking to dudes and it was somehow my fault. Every horrible thing she did was my fault. I dont know who she will now blame for her shit behavior. All I know is that she will be letting everyone she associates with know that im a villain and she is a victim that escaped from me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 10:44 PM
1

My ex did cheat in the past. The time that I caught her was 10 years ago but I caught her talking to guys a couple of times. Last time was about one year ago but there was signs right before we split up but she claims i was making shit up. Im not that stupid though. She was always really guarded with her phone. Too many red flags to ignore. My daughter seems fine when she comes and visits but my son (who is almost 18) isn't talking to me for some reason. I honestly dont know what his problem is.…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 10:24 PM
1

I feel like that off and on. Some days are miserable. Some days are okay. My ex is still trying to make my life hell because she is a greedy individual but things are slowly looking up. Some days I wish that I dont wake up the next morning. Gonna keep trudging along though because who knows what life has in store. I just hope this is rock bottom because I dont know if I can handle much more after this last couple of years. It seems like one thing after another.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 12:47 AM
1

That's exactly what I told her. She has made a huge deal and said she is going to have me and my accountant investigated. I said he is a good accountant and saves me a ton of money vs H&R block but nothing he does is illegal and he's made it a point to tell me that. I provided my tax returns and she isn't satisfied. They want 2025 income deciphered. She wants my bank statements to use at her own will. I said it's not evidence until the accounting has been done. Truck payments, gas, tools, materi…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 10:44 PM
9

Me crazy ex did some similar shit. They're all the same.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 03:07 AM
2

Yeah im not getting my hopes up too much. She is claiming that my accountant is lying on my taxes. I made good money this summer but my work is seasonal as I am a contractor. I think i will average the same or a little bit more than last year. I appreciate the information.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 03:44 AM
3

Gather evidence. Don't allow her to hide money. Begin speaking to a lawyer yesterday.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 02:54 AM
1

Nah blow that shit up. Cheaters deserve to be exposed.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 02:53 AM
2

Im glad I live in a state that doesn't push alimony and my ex has a career. Still have to split my shit and give child support. I agree women should get nothing if they earn nothing. Marriage is a scam.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 02:02 AM
5

My 13 year old daughter immediately changes when we see the mom as well. I know the ex was alienating me in the beginning but I called her out and threatened to fight for more custody so I think she has chilled out. But at the beginning of the separation my daughter told me she hated me and would send me throwup and poop emojis when I would just text and say "I love you." My son (17) still won't really talk to me. The ex began alienating me well before the separation. She would sit there and tal…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 03:56 PM
2

Just dont, lol. No in all seriousness this may not be the best place to ask that. Many of us are angry and bitter towards women right now. You gotta just jump in knowing that you have a 50% or greater chance that it will fail. Enjoy the honeymoon phase while it there. I think women believe that they become unhappy when that spark goes away. Everything is temporary. Protect yourself in every way possible. I truly hope you found a rare unicorn who won't screw you over. Women are always searching f…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 05:45 PM
4

I dont think having affairs is a good thing to do. But you need to set boundaries and dont be a doormat. If your girl isn't pulling her weight in the relationship immediately show her the door and find a replacement.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 04:47 PM
4

I plan to. I have talked to a couple of girls. I went and had a couple of drinks on Thanksgiving and got a number. I texted her and she didn't message me back. My brother said I got a little drunk so I probably embarrassed myself a little. I dont really drink anymore so low tolerance. I dont really enjoy drinking anymore anyways so I don't think I'll do that again I gave another girl my number as well. I am just trying to make friends right now but I'll probably dial it back for a while longer. …
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 02:46 AM
2

How long have you been single? I haven't even been interested in hookups yet. Only 2.5 months in.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 02:27 AM
1

Im in the same boat my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 08:45 PM
3

Counseling doesn't work for narcissists. They know more than the counselors.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 05:33 PM
5

Hey buddy. My wife bailed on me about 10 weeks ago and filed for divorce immediately. I was in absolute shock for 6 to 8 weeks. Im accepting what is happening now and not as angry. I literally had the worst pain in my heart for the first month. I truly know where the expression "broken heart" comes from now. I believe im on the upswing now. Im done allowing her to control my emotions and cause me pain. Not to mention all the horrible things she has said and done to me since this began. It truly …
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 03:50 AM
18

Yeah fuck that guy and fuck her too. Those cheating greaseballs aren't worth a friendly handshake. Id probably give him a long uncomfortable aggressive stare down but thats just me.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 07:09 AM
2

I really wished I could work it out with my ex but all of the horrible shit she did to me would make it impossible. I didn't know you can love and despise someone at the same time. She would have to make the changes and I know that will never happen.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 06:51 AM
5

Her best friend and step sister may be influencing factors. Many women seem to be insanely impressionable. Regardless it just goes to show how fragile your relationship really was. You don't want her back because she will do it again. She will just treat you more like a doormat each time. I let my crazy ex back a few times when she fled and nothing ever changed. She just got more unhinged and every single issue was my fault. I miss her every day and night as well. But I know i just need to let t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 05:23 PM
3

I did basically the same with my ex. I did everything for her. I cooked, cleaned, paid her bills. We do everything for these women because we love them and they just lose respect. Never again will I give a woman my complete trust and take care ot her in such a way.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 05:22 AM
3

My wife of 18 years blindsided me with divorce. I dont get it whatsoever. I feel sick and betrayed. I wish I had answers as well but when I asked everything she said was miniscule and didn't make sense. Her main response was "I have changed" I should probably be grateful though because she put me through a lot of shit throughout the years. I just believed that we matured out of that stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 04:35 AM
4

Yeah dude. Get it adjusted. You shouldn't feel guilty for trying to live a decent life. She wanted nearly full custody she can figure it out. The amount you're paying for your income is insane. I am fighting to pay the least amount as possible. My ex broke this family so she can adjust her lifestyle to fit her income. It ain't my problem anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 12:31 AM
2

Don't be too confident. Feelings come and go but get less intense over time. Maybe make some changes to your home if you have the money. Get some new furniture and decorate it to your liking. My wife took everything so I bought all new furniture and am decorating to my style. It has helped. But hey, you've certainly made it through the hard part. You're gonna be just fine.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 11:32 PM
7

I feel you dude. Its kinda amazing coming home to peace and quiet, cooking a nice steak and watching what I want on my new big screen. But im fucking lonely. Whenever I begin to drift off to sleep my mind starts to miss her. I've rolled over to grab her in the night only to remember she is gone. After spending half my life with someone it will take some time. Im a bit codependent and I need to work through that. I could probably go to a bar and pull some crazy girl, but why? To fill some void? I…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 11:26 PM
4

There my be some good ones out there but it's like playing Russian roulette trying to find them. I dont even know it it's worth trying to date again.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 11:06 PM
2

That's horrible. I am sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 10:42 PM
15

She accused you of sexual assault to get you out of the home? Bro, that right there let's you know what she is capable of. Next time she may fabricate something that does stick. Stay the fuck away for the love of God. It will not end well.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 10:34 PM
22

Many women are incapable of thinking about the future. My ex made it nearly impossible for me to save money. She thought we should "live in the now" and such. I can still see her bank account on my app and she regularly goes in the negative. I believe she was at minimum having an emotional affair. She constantly was guarded about her phone. I pointed this out a couple of times over the course of 6 months and she called me insecure and that was one of the reasons she wanted to divorce. She litera…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 10:27 PM
2

This is actually great advice. Sitting across the table chomping on a salad is awkward.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 05:23 PM
4

That's pretty much where im at. Im hanging with some family and friends more often and just taking care of me. I've never really been single my whole adult life either. I went from like a 3 year relationship as a teenager to single for about 6 months in my early 20's to meeting my soon to be ex. She got pregnant and pressured me into marriage. It just feels weird to be single. I never thought I would have to date again. But the plan is to work on me, get out more and let the right one find me. T…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 03:38 PM
1

I feel you. Im struggling with identity as well. I hope you find peace. How long were you married?
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 01:06 AM
1

Sounds very similar to my situation. I'll probably come out with enough to buy some new furniture and a little cash tucked away for an emergency fund. Im never getting married again. I saved every penny of that money and she didn't do jack shit but complain about it. She chose not to pay her bills. I offered to help but she didn't care enough to let me. I guess thats why her credit is fucked and mine is excellent. That may make her life starting over a bit difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 05:05 PM
1

I dont blame you for the financial part. But how is everything going to even out after splitting everything, child support and potential alimony? My wife was terrible with money. I kind of was as well until I hit 30. Then my goals shifted and I wanted to save and invest to build a future. Fast forward another 10 years and im basically starting over again after the divorce is finalized. She is greedy and I ended agreeing to giving her a larger share of my savings so I wouldn't get stuck with half…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 04:38 PM
1

Are you just wanting a change? Sounds like where you're at is a good place to find women (If thats even what you're seeking). Its hard to suggest where you should move to. Lots of things to weigh ot with that one. Maybe do a bit of traveling and check out some areas that you're interested in. I am only 2 months into single life and I have zero idea what im going to do. Unfortunately I can't move due to my 13 year old girl and my boy who is almost 18. I almost feel like I need a change just for m…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 04:19 PM
8

I know it hurts but give her what she wants and walk away. Perhaps you convince her to stay and it will happen again next year. Walk away, block her in every way from contact. Let your lawyer do the contact. Women become monsters once the feelings stop. They get pleasure watching us suffer and beg. It changes nothing. Be strong, stoic and emotionless and it will surprise the shit out of her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 03:09 PM
1

Agreed. Having kids and getting married to make your partner happy is a terrible idea. Never have kids if you aren't ready for the responsibility and commitment.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 02:45 AM
5

Brother, my story and many other gentlemen on this sub share a similar story to yours. Once a woman loses respect for you it's over. I am going on about 7 weeks post separation and I was desperate like you the first month. It won't do any good. Begging will push her away more. If you can convince her to stay for a short period, it will just happen again. You need to stop worrying about everyone else and take care of you. I carried my wife's business for 2 years until she thought she was well off…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 06:22 PM
6

My ex loved that. She also watched the Kardashians, twilight, and any stupid teenage girl high-school drama series from the 90s and early 2000's. Absolute brain rot type shit that a woman shouldn't be watching past 20 years old she is still watching at 41. And she wonders why I would go watch TV in the bedroom. She never ever asked if I would like to choose something to watch. The only shows we could agree on were murder documentaries.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 02:17 AM
6

This is what happened with my kids. My wife constantly talked bad about me for the last few years of marriage. She would always bitch and complain about everything I didn't do and never once show any respect for all that I contributed to the relationship. I think this really escalated towards the end of the relationship says I was controlling with money and mentally abusive etc. She would talk tons of shit when she would go see her family and she was probably talking to other men as well because…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 01:43 AM
4

Im sorry, friend. Please don't hurt yourself and don't do that bi*ch any favors. Sell that house. Get her out of your life ASAP and block her in any way possible so you can heal.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 06:47 AM
3

I feel you bro. My wife of 18 years left for some miniscule shit. Planned the divorce and was going to tell me but I heard her talking to her brother about it on my ring camera. Her reason was that I didn't spend enough time with the kids which is absolute BS. I do a ton with my kids but I didn't go with them every time they went to the movies. She was being very secretive and sleeping on her phone every night and that raised some suspicion in me. Regardless I was going to be with her for life. …
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 05:41 AM
2

That's inspiring. I just feel lonely and anxious for the divorce but thats okay. Life is good. I have far to many blessings to not be grateful. You have to have appreciation for all journeys in life good or bad.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 04:41 PM
7

Good for you. Reading this has helped confirm that I likely never want to be in a relationship again. My wife of 18 years split 6 weeks ago. She emotionally checked out way before. Told me "God told me to leave you." Now she is trying to clean me out financially. Im 40 and may be done as I am never going through this again. I was in shock for over 30 days. Apon receiving the papers and seeing what she wrote about me, the lies, the greed, the absolute lack of appreciation and respect I have been …
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 12:05 AM
1

My wife has a good job as well and makes nearly as much as I do. She made more than me last year. I have paid all credit cards and paid her last phone bill before removing myself from the plan. Paid our $5000 taxes. She is just terrible with money and wants to maintain her lifestyle while being single now. My lawyer said I did a good thing immediately separating everything. I have bought my kids food and clothes. We're by no means wealthy and it's foolish to even take it in front of a judge as h…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 11:08 PM
1

I do have an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 07:56 PM
3

Thank you. I am currently working on that one as I've heard about it on this sub a lot. I appreciate it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 02:41 PM
2

Hey there. Do you mind if I ask if you have any good book recommendations? Much appreciated
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 06:10 AM
5

I dont know, dude. Maybe ask a tech sub, but don't throw it all away for a hunch. You will hate yourself if you're wrong and you throw your relationship away. My wife did all kinds of crazy stuff to me. I caught her doing all sorts of shady shit not even really looking, but it eventually drove me crazy. Now we're divorcing, and she's trying to give me one more ass fuck before she goes. Moral of the story is divorce sucks. Go try to work it out with your girl. Don't accuse her unless you have act…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 05:12 AM
2

Im sure it varies a lot by location. I looked it up the other day, and it said one to two years. It just depends on how backed up courtrooms are.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 04:08 AM
1

Stay off the booze my friend. I gave it up about 10 years ago, and im much stronger to handle life as it comes. If she's made her decision, it's best to give her space. Mine walled me off, too. Said that I disconnected. I sorta did only because she was acting weird the last couple of months, and I knew some shit was going down. She walked out on the 23rd of last month and immediately filed for divorce. 18 years. It hurts, and im exhausted. I want her back. Even after all of the terrible things s…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 04:04 AM
2

My wife left and moved in with a dude many years ago. She begged to come back to me a couple of months in. She told me he raped and assaulted her. I asked why she didn't call the fucking cops and she had no response that made sense. But she used to call the cops on me just when she would get angry and want me gone. It just bullshit and gaslighting. These things we'll never forget or get over. Women lie all the time. She just wanted to get away with doing something disgusting and shitty and still…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 01:36 AM
1

I have been with my stbx for much longer, but for the last 6 or 7 years, she has done the same thing to me. Leave for a month come back, leave for a few weeks, come back. Now, she is gone again for one month and has filed for divorce. I am giving her what she wants this time and leaving her alone. I love her, but I know i don't deserve this, and I can't deal with the games anymore. If someone loves you, they won't leave. Not to mention all of the horrible things she has said and done to me.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 01:23 AM
2

I have no clue if I'll be able to date. I've never had a healthy relationship. Im 40 and definitely don't want to get a woman pregnant and not sure getting laid is worth all the heartache and mind games that come along with it. I certainly won't be looking any time in the foreseeable future, but if something happens, it happens. I might try to make some female friends with no expectations down the road. Another problem is that I moved back to a small shitty town so my ex can be close to her fami…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 12:46 AM
1

Thank you. I will stay sober, but i definitely have had thoughts of going and getting wasted. I know it will only compound my issue. Im actually very proud of myself for being strong and not showing my weakness. Be strong as well. If you're struggling, I can talk with you. Just shoot me a message.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 09:19 PM
3

Many years back, i would have just stayed drunk when something like this happened. It doesn't do anything besides save the pain and despair for another day, and it hits harder when you're hung over from the night before. I gave up all the booze and substances about 10 years ago. Im so grateful I can handle this without getting messed up. The same wife that im currently divorcing now left me about 10 years ago and moved in with another man. She sent threatening messages to me every day about how …
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 08:24 PM
4

Thank you. Im here to help as well. Im only one month and 3 days into it, but I'm here to talk and offer support if anyone needs it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 05:57 PM
5

I love you too. Thank you. This is way harder than I imagined. It is harder than the death of any friend or family member. I imagined the scenario hundreds of times and even thought of leaving myself many times, but i was too much in love with her. It's painful to be in love with someone who isn't emotionally invested like you are. She has done so many awful things to me. I'll be the first to admit that I did some bad stuff early in the relationship as well. I wasn't ready for marriage. I liked …
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 05:26 PM
1

Thank you, friend.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 10:47 PM
5

I like your rant. At 40 years old, im ready to be single for the first time in my adult life. The outdoors are calling me. My wife left a month ago, and I've had moments of great peace mixed with sadness. Im starting to realize how insane the relationship was. I should have left long ago. Once the divorce is finalized, im going to reward myself with a duel sport motorcycle and ride into the nearby mountains on the weekends. Time to take care of me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 03:19 AM
3

Very similar story here. Kids are much older, and I did all the housework. It made me bitter at times, and she lived on the couch in her pajamas. I'd work until 8:30 pm, and the first thing was, "What are you fixing the kids for dinner?" The last few months, I started asking her to take some responsibility and do things without me guiding her. Like for instance, she said I was neglecting her because her windshield wipers were wearing out. Like go to the autoparts store and they install them for …
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 03:10 AM
1

This post and the first comment sound awful. I've been frozen from fear as my wife left 1 month ago and already has processed servers knocking on my door. I've worked so hard to save the little bit that I have, and im so angry that she will probably take it. Plus, child support and anything else she can get. What a nightmare
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 10:23 PM
4

Im happy for you. I hope your life is amazing.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 04:14 AM
4

I sure hope so. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 04:07 AM
1

Yeah, I have definitely had trouble eating some days. Food tastes like sand on bad days. I like watching prison documentaries and stuff about foreign countries. It kinda centers me and reminds me that I indeed have so much to be grateful for. I haven't watched southpark for about 5 years, but maybe it's time to catch up on the new seasons. Wishing you luck, dude. Hopefully, everything works out for you. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 03:50 AM
1

I feel for you as well, friend. My daughter has always been attached to her mom's since birth. My son and I had a close bond his entire life, but he has been going through a rebellious stage as a teenager. He is 17 (18 in june), and I think he likes the freedom at grandma's house. He's upset with me because I haven't given her any money. He literally threatened me the other night, and I heard he has stole beer and got caught smoking pot by his grandma. He doesn't like that I set rules. My daught…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 03:37 AM
1

Thank you. I have been pretty much sober for about 10 years, besides maybe a drink or two on the holidays. I have thought about going to the bar many times, but im not going to do it. I know alcohol will likely intensify my issues. But honestly, I have been using some porn to cope. Its probably a little bit of an issue I need to work on. I started using it before she left because she didn't have sex with me often. Is there any reading you could, by chance, recommend? I do greatly appreciate this…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 03:00 AM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 02:51 AM
1

Thank you. I am trying to work on myself and have had some good moments and breakthroughs recently. I just never imagined it would be this hard. No one can understand this pain until they have been through it. That why it just blows my mind how one spouse can just easily walk away while one is left with a huge gaping hole in their soul I was actually having a pretty good night until that fucking guy came pounding on my door for 5 minutes staring into the ring camera.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 02:50 AM
2

Do you think it will make it worse on myself if I don't take the papers right now? She wants it done fast to get paid. Money is all she cares about. She never saved anything. It was all me investing. She had no interest. I wish I had never told her about it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 02:40 AM
2

I feel like nothing. I built my career for them. I moved back to this shithole town so she could be near her family. I got sober for her 10 years ago. I helped her go to school and get her career. Her excuses to leave didn't even make sense. I don't get it, but I guess i shouldn't need to understand. She only said "people change" and also blamed my autoimmune disease that I have been pretty much system free for years. I dealt with massive fatigue when I was first diagnosed, but it's much better …
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 02:33 AM
5

I dont know. The relationship with your wife is over, and you want to keep the relationship with your son? What kind of gratification are you really going to achieve out of this? As fucked as that whole situation sounds, it seems like you love the kid and it might just do more harm to you and your son. Leave the past behind you and be grateful for the relationships that you still have. Some of us are left with no one as we gave up our entire lives for a woman. My kids are distant right now. Thei…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 05:37 AM
1

Wow dude thats insane. She needs to be in prison for trying to ruin your life. Im so sorry. That's fucked
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 04:59 AM
13

My story is similar but different. I married her when she got cancer. We have 2 kids 12 and 17, and we have been together 18 years. I developed health issues the last 5 years and was bedridden aside from work for a couple years. She had the audacity to leave me for being sick 1 month ago. I have a multisystemic autoimmune condition that I have pretty well under control nowadays, but she literally said, "I didn't sign up for this" I get tired, but im a full-time contractor. I fucking cook, clean,…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 04:54 AM
1

Thank you. That's beautiful
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 10:34 PM
4

Same after 18 years. She probably can't even make coffee. Can't cook unless it comes from a package. Terrible at cleaning. I did all my own cooking and cleaning. I cooked for her often. She called me selfish when I came home at 7pm and only prepared myself dinner. I've always been independent, and I don't need her. Im a great chef, and I have cooked at nice restaurants in the past. Now i cook for myself. Fuck her. Poor kids eating frozen burritos and chicken nuggets. These things weren't super i…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 12:24 AM
2

Is your name on the mortgage? Is it in his name? Regardless, you are entitled to her half.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 01:29 AM
8

It hurts, brother. Women make up their minds long before they act, unfortunately. Mine left 3 1/2 weeks ago, and it was completely unexpected. Now she's threatening me, has my kids threatening me, trying to take all i have and it's got me fucked in the head. Everyone thinks im horrible because I won't just hand over money to her. She left broke. She has never been financially responsible, though she has a pretty good job. I have saved and invested and been responsible for the finances I finally …
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 01:27 AM
5

My life is like hell right now. I'm 3 1/2 weeks in, but im happy for you. I hope I can be happy again one day as well. Dating sounds awful at this point. Got a lot to work on myself.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 01:05 AM
5

Sounds exactly like my life. She is almost 42, and I am 40. I asked to fool around once or twice per week, and she said I was "pressuring her for sex." Made all sorts of other little excuses and bringing up stuff from 10+ years ago. I knew she was planning something because she was acting so distant. I confronted her, and then she left to her mom's house 3 weeks ago. She said she got a lawyer and wants half of everything. Literally said, "God told her to leave me." It just makes me sick, and eve…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 02:02 AM
4

I am very angry. I start shaking and almost vomit when she shows up to pick things up. But Im also glad that I'll be away from a person that I'll never please. Im at the age that if you don't like me, there's the fucking door. Im tired of kissing ass and walking on eggshells. What has helped me cope under immense stress is watching documentaries about prison life or awful living conditions in 3rd world countries. I still have so many things to be grateful for. Literal billions of people would pr…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 03:39 AM
2

Ouch, my dude. Some day, you will see how much better off you are without her. I tried to change my girl for years. Unfortunately, we can't change others. You deserve much better. My ex is a pathological liar. She would tell lies and use other lies to cover up lies. Seriously and absolute mind fuck. I still am having a hard time believing that I deserve better, but I know i do. I don't lie anymore. I haven't for years. I can't stand liars and cheaters. All I ever wanted was someone real and loya…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 02:09 AM
3

Sounds like you're doing great, brother. I don't know you, but I'm proud of you. I've only been separated 12 days, and I'm pretty lost. She already has a lawyer and is threatening to take me to the cleaners. I've been pacing around for the last 10 days as well. Not sleeping great, tons of anxiety. I'm thinking of walking and hitting the gym when the shock wears off a bit more. Some of the stuff on this sub is sad and hard to read, but I'm happy I can find some people who know what I'm going thro…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 01:52 AM
2

You're right. I did it for myself as well and my kids. Thank you for pointing that out.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 01:35 AM
4

I dont have a lot of advice as I'm in a very similar boat as you. Married 17 years, and she just decided to call it quits almost 2 weeks ago. She made it clear she is done with me and she said a lawyer will be serving me next week. I did everything for her. I quit drinking and smoking years back, and I built a career as a contractor to provide for my family even though I have a chronic disease. All I can say is work on yourself, brother. Get a hobby. Pick up a guitar, start drawing, get outdoors…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 10:31 PM
1

Why didn't I read this two hours ago before I begged after no contact for 2 weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 06:07 PM
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