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LifeBeatsHard Archive

View 2 posts and 91 comments by LifeBeatsHard on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

LifeBeatsHard/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 06:10 AM
4

LifeBeatsHard/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 08:13 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Ouch... 9 months too after 12 years together and same deep sad feeling. Seeing people close to or over 2 years and still missing and loving their ex-wives is not promising. People promised time would heal and I will be okay... when??? I am very tired of this void.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 01:20 PM
1

Yes. 8 months away from her. Sometimes send her a msg about paperwork, she replies with yes or no. But yes, still love her, still miss her and of course still think of her. Poor life!
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 09:11 AM
1

I would love to have a new-one saying "I love you", but in your case doesn't seem worthy.. you are trading apple with spoiled banana. Grief in this case feels better. Run!!
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 03:41 AM
9

Mate, what you are facing and carrying is a "curse" we, men, carry since day one in this world. The idea that men can deal with everything the world (and others throw on them), they don't suffer and they will be okay regardless of what happens to them. Men don't have feelings and they are able to recover quickly, because at the end of the day, they are men. I feel sorry for you, because I know this is not about money, or time, or effort. But about how you feel and how much you are still doing fo…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 12:30 PM
4

Did anyone come to save you? Especially after the divorce. You know the answer. Why would it be different for her or someone else?
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 09:56 PM
2

Regarding your last paragraph, I am still recent (8 months) and feel lagging behind some guys who say after 6 months get better. Okay, things got better because I know I can cook, do the laundry and clean the house by myself, but from a mental/emotional perspective, not sure. I just woke up after a dream with her where I could literally feel her kissing my cheek. I woke up, and it was some part of the duvet touching my cheek. Then of course, I fell into tears... I really hope the 1.5-2Y mark can…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 09:47 PM
1

A lady among us. Nice!! Girl, leave him! Don't beg for attention. As you can see in this sub, there are plenty of GOOD guys who got cheated or their ex-wives just got bored and left them (including me) and these guys are really looking for deep and strong connections. If we are here (reddit), we are there (your city) too. Go find one of us who are really keen to start a family and plan a future together...
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 08:33 AM
2

100% with you. Just juggling between constant validation at work (as if that was the only thing in life), friends (not understanding or pushing you without knowing a penny where your mind is), even church/Bible study (where people assume you are not being an good Christian because you are missing meetings or you are there in physical presence by your mind is somewhere else)... I don't like this version of mine who cannot connect deeply or really care about others. I built a version for me that "…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 01:05 PM
2

That's true. I even heard from my mom that "I was not acting as a man" during all my grief and desperation. Even today, in a much better shape, I still have my loneliness moments and nobody to save me. I am still seeing an online therapist but just for the sake of ranting about work and life, since I have nobody to hear and validate my feelings. Cruel world for men.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 11:58 PM
9

A few weeks ago, I made a similar question to understand from men who got "healed" whether they trusted their new partner again or they were half-in and half-out (always skeptical about the relationship). I had to check if that's the same with all guys, or was just me who is currently feeling like what you described (never able to trust or be fully committed to someone). Trust is more valuable than money. Once someone has your trust, they can destroy you if they want. I guess, this is why we are…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 07:37 AM
6

Mate, something which I learned (even though it's cliché) everyone makes mistakes (we are not perfect). The adult and mature response to mistakes is to be accountable and work to resolve. From the moment, you are working to solve something, repented and showed changes but SHE does not want to do the same, instead she starts bringing back things which apparently were buried, this is the end. It happened to me and with many men in here. We made mistakes (so do they(women)), we ack the mistake and …
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 06:59 AM
1

I know everything in life is a process and takes time. But any way to shorten this rebuilding process? I mean, I am getting comfortable with me alone in the sense of don't waiting or looking for someone to do something. I have and am doing things alone I would never imagine, but of course I would rather have someone. So even though I am doing what's required to survive and deal with my emotions, I don't like to be this cold and not invested person. It sucks talking to my mum, who I don't see for…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 09:40 PM
1

Thank you for sharing your story. Initially, I thought we were talking about the same woman, but I wasn't cheated. But similar to your case, no signs at all, no single moment where she demonstrated she was unhappy with me. We had a very tough (and cold) life in a previous country which broke both of us, I was miserable and she as usual was stronger than me, but never demonstrated unhappiness due to the marriage or me. Until when after two months spending time with her mum - I agreed with that be…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 09:20 PM
1

Yeah, that's what I learned there's something at their DNA level (they may not even perceive it), but it guides them by emotions in a way they are not able to reason, stick to a vow/commitment or even talk and work to fix things. Since that emotion already took a space that used to be ours, it's gone, they can walk away calmly and painless. That's true, nothing will be the same and I am becoming a very cold and insensitive person in order to heal - which is not good. I wish I could think there's…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 09:05 AM
1

I feel the same which goes completely against what I always wanted for me - happy family with kids. However, the pain and all the disillusionment from this rejection after 10Y marriage which I am still healing and seeking a purpose in life makes me afraid of putting all my eggs in the same basket again and dream in being happy with that new person and then the same sh*t happens again. I don't think I would survive the last months struggle. That's why I am also looking for opinions of men who got…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 07:12 AM
1

You are not alone, we hear and feel you. We here all have been there in different ways and levels. I was not cheated, but similar to you, my wife was the reason of life to work hard, save money, stay in and avoid social activities, change plans and establish new co-owned dreams. Then suddenly, I lost all of that just because she was bored and could not clearly express her emotions or ask for help. She is still saying that I didn't do anything for her and she had to work out everything by herself…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 05:57 AM
1

8 months here, as you said, there are days I am the superhero of my life. I can conquer the world. Other days (especially when I am sick), I am miserable and barely breathing comfortably, just waiting hopefully someone to come to save (used to be my ex-wife). Being alone is still tough. I moved to a new city as a way of rebuilding myself and start fresh, at the same time I have no friends even after 4 months and everybody knows how difficult is to make friends in 30s+. My workmates all have fami…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 04:09 AM
7

+1 about the experience The aftermath, my ex was just saying she has been keeping that internally for a long time... never shared or tried to talk and of course it was my fault for not seeing it and helping her. Always men's fault..argh
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 10:09 PM
3

3 days to stop thinking about the guy and 1 month to be fully recovered - her words. Life coming back at the MINUTE she walked away. Man, there are guys here over years without a glimpse of what a mediocre life is like (including myself going to 1 year completely lost, but still trusting in the healing process). I wonder whether all or majority of girls are like that - too young to share a life of commitments with another person I used to love a year ago. That was my case, at least... ex-w was v…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 10:07 PM
1

That does not save your emotional and mental health. I know being broken and emotional ruined is worse than just emotional broken... But a man with a good emotional state can conquer the word and rebuild all treasures he lost. No emotional state is the end of everything... you don't know how to spend, work or move on in life. Personal experience here... about to lose my very well remunerated job, because I have no dreams, plans or no why I am working for... If I lose this job, I will probably bu…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 07:31 AM
10

That's what I learned, too. Women's emotions are what lead them. No vows, no love, no commitment... just their emotions (if they deeply love you today, tomorrow they might just walk away, call it a cycle and feel good. I am trying to avoid getting into the red pill hole, but honestly going through this rebuilding phase which I did not have a chance to fix and change for the sake of marriage, love and my vows to be by her side to death, it's just difficult to believe that's something different. I…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 07:24 AM
5

100% spot on. Unfortunately, even after 8 months I cannot see any rebuilding process happening in me. I know that because I started crying on the middle of a busy train and cried even more when OP started talking about rebuilding and getting strong and I don't feel it. I just became someone sad without hope... that even in my good days, don't feel like will be happy with a beautiful family again. I also fear facing the same rejection again, If I am able to raise up a day. Not sure. I am glad I a…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 07:28 AM
2

8 months here and on the same boat. Some days, I am really optimistic in taking care of my life and being independent... others, I just don't know how I am going to live without her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 09:41 PM
5

Yes, from the moment you did your best, you lived to provide and make someone happy because I was happy if she was happy - happy wife, happy life! Still all my effort as a man, as a husband faile, even though it was her decision based on her solo thoughts. Honestly, I lost faith in myself as someone who can have a happy family (even though that's my biggest dream in life). Now, I need to learn to deal with myself, accept myself as I am, love myself (this is a tough one)... maybe someone if God p…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 09:12 PM
1

Thank you for the very descriptive process. Yeah, I guess I am stuck in the past and constantly ruminating about it... learning (for sure), but trying to fix what cannot be fixed anymore. It's difficult to let it go and deal with my own fears (of maybe not get into a relationship again and feel fulfilled with wife and kids). Anyways, if that's the only way to be free let it be! All the best for you and for us.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 02:21 AM
1

Great tips. Just like you, I never read a book or watched a video about relationship and marriage. I always thought that was part of us (humans) and we will be good, as long as there was no abuse or adultery. I have been in contact with many books these days and podcasts and similar to what you said, one learns a lot and starts reflecting internally on your and her misses. However, even though I learn a lot... that brings me down badly, because I start seeing how badly prepared I was and how I m…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 09:50 AM
2

Mate, same here... I am destroyed as human and man - no idea if I will ever get over and meet someone else again (as the fact of thinking about other women triggers me some adultery feeling) - but I am a happy Christian and probably the only reason I am still here. No therapy, no family (which is on the other side of the globe), no friends (not many and they are also spread in the world busy with their own lives), no distractions like hobbies or studies helped as much as the Word. I Firstly fear…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 09:43 AM
0

Really? I have not gotten onboarded to dating apps yet. Still in the healing phase... however something I noticed is that women in general (from my mom who is 72 to girls at their 20s) are so immerse in social medias that they cannot be present and value ordinary/common men like us. Just watch how many times a random girl on a train/bus swipes on their phone through many apps while chatting with many people, watching videos and publishing topics. I don't see the same behavior of men... they can …
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 11:31 PM
0

My case was not related to infidelity, no fights, so big YES, I would without thinking twice.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 12:57 PM
2

Why that doesn't happen to me? Hunf... Anyways, enjoy her. You deserve be happy!
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 10:09 AM
5

Mate, correct if I am wrong, but if you have spent some time reading some other threads in this sub, you are essentially doing what many women did to us : walking away from the marriage out of the blue without clear reasons (which I usually call boredom and selfishness). The marriage is a life to death vow (in my opinion and religious belief) and I lived for my family (unfortunately didn't have the chance to have a kid). I would do the possible and impossible to keep my marriage. That's why I cr…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 09:06 PM
2

Mate, 8 months through this journey now and I don't feel it gets better (MY experience). I might be doing some really wrong and bad to not be able to cope and get healed. The more I feel lonely and have this void within me, the more I miss my ex. Then it becomes a loop which honestly I don't know how to escape. I am even ashamed of getting into the weekly therapy complaining about the same stuff. Then, the therapist starts repeating herself... still I keep attending, because it's the only person…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 02:35 AM
2

Amen and thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 02:42 AM
0

8 months here and still the same as you... thinking and missing her every day - especially when I am eating some new food or in a place I know she would love and we would talk a lot about the experience/taste. That gap is horrible and mainly the cause of my loneliness these days. In my case, we have not fought or there was nothing wrong (from my perspective, at least)... to make it worse, I helped her to pack everything, I drove her to the airport and hugged the worst hug of my life (not sure wh…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 10:51 AM
1

Haha. No, that only means we were (or you may still be) married with an average woman. I guess, they are all the same. The truth is if spending weekends on studying for a certification or to deliver a project that would bring good visibility to me at work instead of watching Netflix. Or doing my best to provide a comfortable life for the family and saving as much as I could to grant a good retirement and future for the couple means it's all about me. So yes, it's all about me. Really sad how peo…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 05:06 AM
5

That buzz word is definitely a red flag.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 09:01 AM
6

According to my ex, "everything is about me". So I guess, yes, I am narcissist. - According to her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 09:01 AM
2

Mate, I am really happy for you and I definitely hope to get there one day. It's just funny what you said about self-reflection and doing everything by the book. But as you put, the big change was finding a woman that made your life complete. That exactly where most of the guys here are... mourning for our loss. I mean, I am doing everything I can (eating healthy, reading a lot, Journaling, therapy) and still feel horribly lonely and empty (no plans or dreams) just because we want a wife and a f…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 04:01 AM
3

I wish my answer could be positive, but nope. Nothing good yet. I think everything starts with a purpose, a meaning and the plans and dreams will follow. I could not find neither hence I am far from what you raised. 8 months post-D and still surviving day after day with some days pretty rough. All the best.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 08:01 PM
2

Mate, 8 month post-D here and same same... 0/3 and feeling far from getting something meaningful. Pretty bad.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 07:59 PM
6

One more lady who avoids working out and fixing things, but gives up something which should be forever and just discards another being as if he was nothing. Same here bro. Honestly, if people are alive and it's nothing abusive (mentally or physically), then there are ways of fixing the relationship. Sad, not the case for my ex and for yours. Be brave, we are all with you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 11:23 AM
3

Wow. Nice! That was quick for you to get over and amazingly impressive to be invited to go out. Is there anything else we should say than "enjoy the moment" and yeah for sure, be your self-authentic.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 05:31 AM
9

She was facing and having her ego inflated in the same way girls in general have the same also in their virtual life (via DMs in Instagram).. Then you are constantly competing with some one who will occasionally be smarter, more handsome, richer, more athletic and so on than ourselves. Or the girl (I still hope to go for a 2nd round and find one) confidently needs to choose you and stick to that decision regardless of all the online (and physical) distractions. It's a difficult age for us and it…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 03:22 AM
2

How you met this new wonderful lady? I am just interested in knowing how mature man are meeting women these days.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 05:28 AM
1

True. I just try not to think like that, otherwise I will suffer much more. Because I DON'T want to be alone, even after healing (which I can feel som progress) and getting better with my solitude. The problem for me is age. I am 37, and still want to have kids. At the same time, I don't care about skin color, fat/skinny, tall/short, or social status. But I just don't want to date with a single mom. Regardless how much I want to have kids, looking after somebody's kid is not in my plans. Hence, …
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 10:52 PM
2

You know what scares me? The way women live today... I saw many times in Facebook groups of single folks, a single picture post of a girl with very little information immediately gets easily 50 comments of men. On the other hand, a 6-pic post of a man with a very structured introduction gets the guy barely 10 comments, most of them wishing him luck. My ex was never active in social media and used to criticize them, as do I. I was happy for that, even though she found staying alone was better tha…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 06:30 AM
3

Mate, I guess there is a difference. Apparently, you were already willing to live without or not have her. I noticed the same when the ex is caught cheating. Of course, the guy will be angry and very resentful for his partner (he is not wrong, he was betrayed/stabbed), so any life might be better than living those lies. The problem is when everything is alright or there is not cheating or fight. The ex just walks away without any clear reason (because she is bored or the relationship "expired").…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 11:23 AM
1

No man, that's not the right way of thinking about yourself. Even if that becomes the case, it's something to think about when that time comes. Dream big by now. People tend to get loose and more open on standards as they age out. I know you have tried before, but maybe it's just a matter of keep attending this matchmaking events (speed dating). In one of the threads, I was chatting with folks about how guys are able to quickly get back their romantic life. Someone answered something interesting…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 07:01 AM
1

Wow! I am glad that was a joke! Still good to reflect how blessed we are compared to folks out there. You got one more admirer here! I am sure you do much more than most of us here. You have quite an active life! It's just a matter of perspective now, think how great you are for these folks you coach and supervise. You are such a great father and I am sure kids are proud of you too! I wish I could have kids to do things together and see their growing and life decisions. I am Christian and my big…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 03:22 AM
1

I feel sorry for you and the bad choice she did. Based on what you described and others said, you are a honorable man who is very diligent with the man's duties. Be happy for that! I thought about drugs too and just accepting what life gives me! We will surely see lots of homeless folks and drug addicted happier than us, but that's a very minority (who is very likely trying to changing their condition). Most of them are miserable and are usually living for small and temporary things, like anothe…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 02:16 AM
10

Hey bro, I am not going to be repetitive, because what the other mates said below is the way to go. I just to want to let you know, if we are spending time on writing messages down for you personally, it's because we believe you can make it through and you will. Do as I did, promise yourself you will survive today, then tomorrow promise the same... regardless what happened, you only need to finish the day today, then tomorrow is a brand new day which you will once again do everything to stay up.…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 01:46 AM
1

Mate, you are not alone. Apart from the cheating part (where my ex just got bored of me and walked away), your story resembles mine. 8 months post divorced, I moved country/continent because I thought I could be a new person and start everything from scratch, but here I am crying while I see myself on you. I really get you when you mentioned the fake until make it. That's me, I have been joining groups and trying new hobbies with a big (fake) smile and pretending that I am loving life and that's…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 05:09 AM
2

Spot on, lad. @OP read and follow the above, you will be good. Just don't think too much about the future and all the dreams which don't exist anymore. Live a day at a time. One step after the other. Do useless things (like watching TV, or playing video game) if that brings distraction and a bit of joy. Do things she used to hate, not for revenge but because you like those things and you avoided them for a while. Think about food, movie genre, songs, clothes or anything else you used to love bef…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 10:13 PM
3

Just like the first time she promised the same when exchanging vows. I noticed those vows mean nothing for them... don't get attached to her promises.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 10:02 PM
3

My brother, all (or at least most) of us have been there. You are not alone. I definitely remember the first days where everything was literally dark, food was tasteless, not enjoyment worked as distraction, and you only wanted to wake up of that nightmare. I am Christian and even in the worst pain, Side was never an option, but I had to give some rest to my mind which was in pain and I wanted to forget everything. So I even bought some drg which I have no idea what was (a small stone), however …
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 06:00 AM
1

Same than the pal said. I am 37M. I still want to have kids (my own). Don't feel happy to get into a relationship with a single mom - i feel that's aimed to fail. Considering the women's challenges to have kids, I need someone max in their 35s, which honestly might be difficult to get a woman at that age without kids and still willing to have kids. I like your thoughts, and it would be surely great to have a lady ~10 years younger than me. However, I really think that's hard. It's not that I am …
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 04:34 AM
10

It's always the same story. They wake up a day and they don't feel anymore and discard us like we were just recycling cans, regardless how many years or the good moments you spent together (even when the good memories outnumbered the bad moments). The reality is this not new. When they get to that point they started detaching a long time ago, however they did comfortably and at their own pace so that they did not suffer. Then suddenly, they tell this ridiculous story to try to justify themselves…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 11:55 AM
6

Be strong, mate! We all have been there! It's said how woman can blatantly say "I only see you as a father" or "there's no spark anymore" and walk away, as if nothing happened. Dare us to say something like that and walk away. We would have the whole society, both families and friends judging us. So sad!!
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 07:22 AM
2

True. In other words, men will always be "chosen". We essentially work in 100 opportunities to get a win (which may not be an everlasting win). Women receive 100 approaches and pick the best according to their interest and can change at any time.😮‍💨 People still say this is a machist world?!? At the end of the day, women actually rule the world... Wars were triggered due to women in the past, and so on.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 04:26 AM
6

It also happened to me in June too. Still I am not even close to be healed. I noticed I am still the same shy guy, who has issues with interacting and approaching a girl. So even though, I definitely don't want to be alone, I honestly have no idea how to change that. What makes me even sadder is the fact we usually see so weird guys with nice girls (doesn't look like money), still I cannot even get an average one. I am usually pretty good at everything I do, work, games, finances... but women is…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 03:58 AM
6

This sub rocks! More worthy than thousands of therapists given how much experience we have in here. Merry Christmas!!!
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 11:12 PM
7

Merry Christmas brothers in arms! I occasionally cry out when I get to this sub (by seeing how vulnerable we can be and very likely in the same situation), however I always leave it more powerful and optimistic about myself and life in general. I always say that this sub is worth more than 1000 therapists. I am far from being a better and healed man, but whatever I went through in this 6 months, it has been exactly like I learned from some of you who got healed and see a much glorious and happie…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 01:59 AM
4

I wish you guys (who are in a post-divorce relationship) could sell courses on how to get to that. You guys rock so much! I was really bad with girls (specially the 1st contact/approach) before my marriage. Then even after 10 years (when I was living solely for my wife expecting to be a forever relationship), I still noticed never changed and I am still the same insecure and shy guy, but older now :( Whenever I have to discuss with someone (friends, therapists), I always make it clear I would ra…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 12:51 AM
2

True!! Be honest since the beginning. I have not resumed my romantic life yet, but one thing I have for me is a big NO for single mums, despite I still want to have kids (after this 10Y marriage without kids). That really makes me anxious, because I am 37M and getting older, and in order to have kids, I need to go for someone at age of 35 max without kids and still willing to be mom, which is quite difficult, I would say. I have not started fishing yet, so it may be something only in my mind!
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 12:46 AM
1

Wow! What a lottery ticket you got! That was my question above - if being divorced repels women? In the same way I am repelled by single mums.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 12:41 AM
2

Let me add an additional questions in there. Was it easy to get to those relantionships? Do age and maturity help? Was there any stigma for the women about you being divorced that set them apart?
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 04:24 AM
3

You nailed it. The last 3 years were hell for us (everything you can think about went wrong in our life, we were still sticking together and supporting each other... until she got 37y and had the chance to spend a few months in her mom's house who was also divorced from her father for the last 20+ years. Even though before these last 3 years, we had the best 5 years of our lives and for sure loved each other even more ... the fact age (and perimenopause) and some really bad moment came, she deci…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 12:26 PM
1

What's your religion, brother? I am Christian and I feel that my marriage went to an end 70%+ due to different beliefs and I am very committed to only date (and futurely get married) Christian women. I recently moved to Australia and have been visiting many churches (nothing related to women) just to find my place and I found that majority of singles are men and don't see this seeking phenomenon from the single women. Just curious about your case. May you find a committed woman in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 12:03 PM
2

Same boat here, 37M, getting divorced after 8 years married (10 in total together) and my dream is to have kids. A family is only complete with kids, for me. I know the age for us (men) is not an issue but I fear not getting a spouse (without kids) at an age that still works out for her. I mean, it's just been 6 months and I far from being healed and ready for a relationship... and the pressure which I put on myself to get kids is huge (same I used to put on my ex-wife (also 37))... I know havin…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 06:34 AM
1

Be strong and enjoy your grandchildren as much as you can! They are results of your best days and must always be celebrated. I am sure there are also elderly groups that you can socialize and have fun, if you want, with the additional bonus of not having to work anymore! Alternatively, you have brothers in arms here. This sub helped me more than my therapists which most of time make me questions I cannot answer. There was no adultery in my marriage, either. I would also rather be with my partner…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 10:40 AM
2

Mate, the good news is you are doing exactly what's required from you (most (including myself) don't do 50%). I recently moved continent/country and consequently starting fresh with no friends or support to go. I have been leveraging meetup meetings as much as I can to avoid going home without being sleepy, so I only get home to sleep. Weekends are tough since early morning, since the house is quiet and empty... so I struggle a bit, until get motivation to jump out of bed and go out to explore t…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 05:30 AM
2

What? Getting divorced after 42y together? Is that possible? I spent 10 years together, even after 6 months I still have a huge void which used to be filled by her. You are a hero of perseverance and restart in life. Keep enduring!!! We love you brother.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 05:23 AM
2

Guys, you have kids. That's a gift. I am 37M, coming from a 10y marriage and no kids. My dream and blueprint of a family is to have kids. Now, I am struggling with loneliness and the biggest fear of finishing life without having the joy of playing and seeing my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 05:19 AM
2

Is that an easy thing just going to the gym or joining a board games group? I am introvert and just the thought of trying to get a date and all the stress hold me back and make me try all ways to fix my old relationship with my ex. This is what's preventing me from moving forward. I don't want to be alone, but all the stress of getting to know and beginning of a date is tough.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 05:13 AM
3

You are a role model to me (37), married for 10 years, divorced for 6 months - still in complete darkness. I want more than anything to have kids, love and be loved. Unfortunately, I don't see how and most of time I doubt that's going to happen which really burries me even further. When I see things happening at that age, I get some hope. Thank you for your post.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 07:18 AM
9

I usually tell people (therapist, close friends, family) that I felt the worst physical pain men can feel (kidney stone and even some broken ribs) - it's freaking painful and even fainted a few times. However, there are medicines and treatments. This sense of rejection and loneliness causing a void inside you without any treatment or magic pill, this is the hardest and most painful thing in life. "The void" comprises everything folks said from financial ruin to collapsing plans and dreams, lack …
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 08:27 PM
1

True. I know you are 100%, and that's the ultimate recipe for being happy alone, as shared by all folks here who went through the pain and the darkness and are able to see colors on their lives. It's just easier said than done, right? It's the type of thing "you don't know what you don't know" or "cannot see". I know what used to make me happy when doing with my ex-wife. These old activities now would cause more sorrow than joy... as people usually suggest, I am giving time to time, try new thin…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 08:22 AM
2

I am in the team who thinks marriage is a bless and potentializes the couple happiness - when things are going well. My biggest concern is the fact the same immeasurable joy you get from it, it plays on the opposite direction of ruining and crushing the abandoned side when things don't go well (my case). So it's a very challenging trade-off where the risk is freaking high and probably the worst in life, but the benefits are the most fulfilling in life as well. I have gone through the worst 4 mon…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 06:03 PM
2

True, we just sometimes forget that among all the Billions of women in the world, we only need one to make it work. It's not a big deal and she will pop up. The problem are those days when we are so lost (just like I am now and feel kind of useless), it feels like the biggest challenge in the world!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 05:44 PM
2

The move should help you a lot in starting fresh with new memories and habits. I am currently moving to Australia, which I expect to be a life changer... new habits, new culture, new people and all the perks of getting adapted to a completely different lifestyle I got broken by (cold European life). As you pointed out, there will still be sad days, but they should become fewer and fewer and we should definitely be more motivated to explore the new city and life. Keep pushing up.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 12:09 PM
4

4 months into exactly the same you mentioned. Still not seeing light in the end of the tunnel. I try to be optimistic especially when I read all the men saying that they are happier than before now, or met a much better person. I am 37, Christian, so marriage and kids are blessings from God. Apart from investing everything in this 10Y marriage which ended (not for me as I still love her and could see the rest of my life with here), I am also afraid of not getting someone on time to have kids, th…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 08:33 AM
2

Same boat here. 4 months into this endless desert of pain. I thought I would be much better by now, but still walking in darkness and no plans or dreams. First Xmas alone. I am a Christian and Xmas has always been special with all family around (or at least my ex-wife). I don't want it to lose its bright. But neither friends nor family around this year... I am already panicking, but I will take many of these suggestions and survive the day. Hopefully, we will all have a decent and blessed Xmas n…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 08:10 AM
3

How about introvert men who were very glad to be married and not have to worry about all the flirting game again, until the beloved wife walks out? That's my case, I was not cheated so I would go through hell if I had a chance to fix my marriage, than going through all the uncertainty, stress and lack of confidence when dealing with dating. Any suggestions?!?
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 03:22 PM
3

I am happy I did not take a drivers license, hence I did not have a car in the current where I currently live. Otherwise, I could have gone for that final drive when my world collapsed four months ago. Driving does help with alleviating the stress, bringing clarity and focusing the attention on something else... Oh boy, that drive would have been crazy! As I said, I am happy I did not have that chance and things are starting to get back on track! Keep fighting, brothers!
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 05:49 PM
8

Mate, I don't want to disencourage you, but what I learned in my 3-month journey after a cold "I am not going anywhere with you. I am not going back to you!" was that once women make their mind, that's it. You can give her the moon, that's not going to change anything. That's the moment I think men are more emotional than women, because women can be very cold and rational at these times. As folks are suggesting, focus on yourself, detach from the old days (they don't and will not exist anymore).…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 05:30 PM
1

I used to be very skeptical about reddit and always avoided it (I had the idea it was the most toxic place on the Internet) until somehow I found this sub a week after my wife walked out and I could barely breathe. I really found brother in arms in here. It worked better than therapy to be honest. You guys rock!!! Still in recovery here. You will make it OP too. Good luck!!!
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 09:38 PM
3

Hey bro, same boat than you here. 37 years old, no kids, 10 years of marriage and my wife just walked away. No cheating, no violence or abuse. My situation was more related to clash into religious beliefs. 3.5 months into my solo desert journey. My 5 cents to add to what the boys already mentioned: stop looking for answers. You will not find answers on what you or she did wrongly, or what could you have done differently, or what/when triggered this bad feeling on her. This will just consume a lo…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 05:44 PM
1

Yeah, it has been 3.5 months by now. Weekend nights are not that bad, since I can watch what I want at the time I want. Then go to bed without waiting or justifying to anyone. Indeed, I tried new things I would never have done with my spouse like watching some dogs racing live, also traveled to Norway (which is expensive and never was in our plans because once again it's expensive for the couple). This is going to be my first Christmas alone, unless I make friends quickly when I get to Australia…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 05:24 PM
1

Thank you bro. Indeed, there are objects everywhere which bring memories. Any suggestions on how to cope with or make less painful memories in general with her ( related to a place, some food, a situation, some TV series, a special word) or even when you think about the last X years you were married and good memories come??
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 12:45 PM
1

Thank you for the examples of worked for you. It makes sense. It's a difficult decision and action, but it helps in the long-term. I know they worked as triggers for memories. But how about things which cross your mind due to an specific place, smell, food, situation, TV shows, activities and so on? Things we cannot control but still need to live with.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 01:04 PM
1

Any tips in re-gaining purpose? 2.5 months into the dark road and purpose is still far. The purpose has been to finish the day and hope for a better day tomorrow. I am really tired of all this lonely and lack of motivation, dream and purpose.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 08:57 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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