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Borrowed-Time-27 Archive

View 6 posts and 95 comments by Borrowed-Time-27 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I hear you. Working with my lawyer on it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 06:58 AM
2

Thanks for saying that and I recognize that clearly. I truly shouldn’t care about her motives.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 08:46 AM
2

Thank you. I will.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 07:43 AM
1

Thankfully there’s no serious consequence yet that I know of her lies.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 07:43 AM
1

Thank you 🙏🏽
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 07:41 AM
2

We were constantly always arguing about events and how they took place. I just used to think maybe we remembered them differently but now I realize this person was just a liar.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 07:41 AM
2

I already knew from the marriage that things would really be bad but I just didn’t know how bad it could get and from the slow burn, I am assuming it can definitely still get worse. I am minimizing contact since separation to barest minimum. The lawyers were not discussing. They communicated the need for certain information regarding our child and she just sent back some garbage filled with deflection and lies which are so unnecessary if she wanted to answer.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 10:56 PM
1

Our child is still quite little. Less than 2 years so she needs stable care. Creche in two different locations would be too unstable and she’d keep falling sick. And yes, I cannot divulge every information on here. It’s meant to be anonymous.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 10:28 PM
1

Oh the triangulation! This person had cut off my parents. Suddenly after I cut communication with her, she goes back to start communicating with them and my parents act like it’s a sign I need to fix things. The moment I blocked her everywhere, she stopped writing shade on social media about men and whatever she felt was wrong with me. The constant need for her to drive the narrative is sort of scary.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 10:00 PM
1

Doing almost all of this asides the no dating part. I managed that for about 2 months post separation. Now, I just want to meet other people and try casual dating. Even if it’s a slower heal, I don’t think absolute solitude will work for me.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 09:33 PM
2

This! A lot of the dating and relationship coaching make it seem like there’s a method by which a man can keep a woman. Most of it sound like manipulation to me. If we can accept that it is indeed manipulation, then maybe we can move forward. They tell you basically to not be yourself. If you are laid back and don’t help around the house, they say you must do more and help her feel like a queen. If you do a lot around the house, they say you are seeking her approval and trying to get it by doing…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 06:24 AM
3

Seems she borrowed from the same script my wife used. They accuse you of not being affectionate or lacking empathy. This obviously is huger than all the other little things they refuse to contribute like consistent home chores, finances or even regulating themselves enough to have conversations. Then you keep feeling like you just have to do more and that leads to your burnout. I found out after separation that I have been living with a condition that could kill me any moment. I wouldn’t even ha…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 06:21 AM
2

I never can wrap my head around marrying a second time after the first one. What convinced you to do it again?
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 03:56 PM
2

Agree with the first comment but also sit with the silence and get comfortable with finding reassurance inside yourself. Watch your self-talk and focus on saying the things you wish someone would say to you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 02:18 PM
2

The truth is, emotional affairs are underrated. Everytime I felt like my exwife was disconnecting and looking forward to separation, I know now that she really was already emotionally invested elsewhere. I don’t have evidence of physical cheating but I saw her still on dating apps when she shouldn’t have been or searching out a guy she used to be in love with. Not long after she also wants to stay just friends. It’s like they borrow from the same playbook. We are now separated and everyday away …
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 03:25 PM
1

True
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 03:39 AM
1

We has a prenup so she gets nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 03:39 AM
3

You are spot on. The deceit that I was much more than that is the game they played so masterfully.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 11:54 AM
4

Avoid and ignore her as much as you can. Get therapy too or at least don’t harm yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 09:15 AM
8

You are fortunate. Take this exit as a message from the universe. No reason to go back and talk to them or have to share space with them. Some of us have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 07:36 AM
5

And the annoying bit is these things look so ridiculous when you talk about them without context. But only those who have lived with the constant “snap” decisions, disregard, urgency, and always putting out fires that didn’t need to start would get it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 05:45 PM
3

I had to stop working from home eventually. She made me wanting time and space to work always about herself and her needs even though I was providing 95% or more!
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 05:02 PM
6

I checked her history and I can see the terrible person she is.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 12:51 PM
5

You are evil. No arguments. That’s just it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 09:38 AM
3

So you read something like this and know that no one should ever want to do such to another human but your conclusion was that I must be a serial killer for noticing it being done to me. You are evil.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:56 AM
4

I’ll never understand it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:24 AM
7

No. You are the sinister and horrible person here. How do you live with a person and not know basic things like the face wash they use or if it smells like garlic. And somehow want to blame me for being too close to be sprinkled on after what you read. No, you are a evil person.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:20 AM
3

I wish more men learned to leave before they do things they will forever regret.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 07:33 AM
6

You have a point there. Seems a lot of men are also waking up to this reality. However, I have sisters and I see they move different. I want to believe there are others out there.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 07:33 AM
1

Thankfully I also recognized the future faking in myself. It took me noticing how suspicious and edgy and jealous I was becoming to pack her things out. 3rd year of marriage, 4th year together. I also realize I do not have the bandwidth to go further than this year. I started to make the right plans and things aligned. She and her family blame me for dropping her things off. I really don’t want to hear about or see them but we have a child together.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 01:01 PM
2

One of the things I have learned the hard way is that leaving your child with them is one of the best things you can do to choose yourself. Each day you stay further for the child, you say to them that you are still okay with being abused because you are prioritizing someone or something else than yourself. It gives them even more power to treat you like trash.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 12:40 PM
1

For one, you are definitely taking a lot of walking over and need to audit why you are still taking all that responsibility even post-divorce. Definitely so much nice guy syndrome here. You made a mistake and one thing I have learned about narcissistic partners is how unforgiving they are of mistakes. They want you to hurt and so any mistake is honed in on. It’s a way of priming you to never have any expectations of them. Cause whenever you do, their pain and disappointment over your past mistak…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 06:34 AM
3

I now believe it’s the kryptonite. The moment you realize you’ve just been their supply and determine to stop, they know time’s up.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 06:26 AM
3

I also believe that she became certain she had to leave the moment I stopped being a nice guy. Yes, it is hurtful that this was the outcome but I need to also give myself credit for pushing back finally and no longer following crumbs.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 06:00 AM
0

I already came to these conclusions over time and working through my own approval-seeking habits that I developed in the marriage. I leaned more secure before the marriage but the slow burn of covert narcissism that I didn’t detect early eroded that and I started conditioning myself to make her happy by all means possible.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 05:48 AM
0

It is cruelty that they seem unable to even grasp.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 03:37 AM
2

She probably needs some. She has iron deficiency.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 09:56 PM
1

What’s SSRIs?
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 08:47 PM
3

I also wanted companionship so badly. I had been so alone for a while. Pushed myself through difficult circumstances as a migrant and felt disconnected from my family back home. She also eventually started a smear campaign a while back. I see through it though. I will share more about my experience with her and I am pretty sure now she’s at the least has covert narcissist traits.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 05:36 PM
6

I really wanted to be married and have a family of my own. And I thought companionship was evidence of compatibility. Loneliness and not being able to deal with being alone made me ignore the red flags.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 03:53 PM
2

I truly saw her as the realest and most genuine person but I can’t shake this feeling that I was being watched, studied and prodded.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 03:51 PM
2

You are right. I know that I was also enabling this. I self-doubted a lot, always wanted her approval, and thought I was responsible for her moods and her for mine.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 02:39 PM
1

It’s part of the manipulation. That I carry guilt with me. I will rid myself of it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 02:33 PM
1

Thank you and I am doing that. Or at least trying.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 01:53 PM
2

They even show you clearly that they’ll always be selfish and put themselves first but something tells you maybe it’s okay for a person to be like that. No, it’s not!
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 01:53 PM
3

That last line. I think she knew that telling me she’d never cheat made it difficult to say she was abusive. It’s as if you should be able to tolerate all these other horrible patterns because she’s “faithful”. Someone describes it as death by a thousand cuts.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 01:52 PM
3

Facts! I was always anxious around her. Couldn’t ever catch a break. I think she got more frustrated the less control she had. She just had to leave. The more she saw that I wouldn’t go back to being at her beck and call, she knew it was over.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 11:13 AM
2

The more I detach from my ex, the more I have started to gain back my mojo and make money. Thankfully we had a prenup and are trying to do an uncontested divorce so that we don’t fight over things but I might just secure a lawyer’s advice to be safe.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 06:43 AM
3

Not giving her that satisfaction. We are totally done. Can’t unsee what I see now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 06:40 PM
3

She wants to still be friends with me 🤣🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 08:55 PM
6

My wife (soon to be ex) is on this same page of being done and not looking back but she’s been hovering. Packed her out of the house yesterday and I am letting her know we cannot remain friends even as coparents. I won’t be her enemy but I am also not her crutch. I also want to move on but she has refused to file, claims she’s doing it to help with my immigration applications which don’t totally depend on her support anyways. I regret having begged at some point, may I never see reason to be hum…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 08:52 PM
1

I finally moved out her things this last discard she was about to do. I didn’t let her get the chance. But now I think I spoilt it by still talking to her after. Now, I must just let her see my silence moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 08:39 PM
6

I am currently going through this. Already found a lot of detailed videos showing the narcissistic slant to it. I am now trying to hurry the process for her to be totally out and to make it clear to her that we cannot be friends after she has discarded me.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 08:38 PM
1

I agree with you on this. So what she found someone else interesting? If OP thinks she’s still worth fighting for, the first job is to take the part of the advice here and save himself and see if she ever finds her way back. If she does, he has a choice to make. If she doesn’t, he can move on still happy with himself.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 09:24 PM
13

And there’s little compassion for men out there even in the self-healing journey. Everyone reminds you that you are the man and should make the hard calls. It’s your insecurity or trauma that made you choose wrong etc. Yet, is it really possible that all these amazing, flawed men, all over the world, are just too poor at choosing the right person and so they get burned the same way?
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 02:52 PM
2

You are where I have been for a few years. She wants a divorce now and I can’t wait for the nightmare to be over.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 06:01 PM
2

Wife’s almost filing divorce. Marriage is something that would take an angel’s promise to get me back into. I can never quite understand doing it twice, not to talk of thrice.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 05:57 PM
3

You laid the ground for your own cremation. Dude!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 05:56 PM
12

Don’t look for a wife to fill your loneliness gap. Enjoy the experience and be ready to let her go.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 08:46 AM
1

🤣🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 04:49 AM
7

My partner is currently on social media painting herself as a victim while she has been emotionally abusive for all of the life of the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 09:22 AM
1

Lol. No…she’s an adult and needs to figure out how to pay for an apartment. I’ll always take care of my child. I have offered to have primary custody and she’s not cooperating.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 07:57 PM
3

I understand how you feel so much. It’s not just about the silence. It’s the breadcrumbs they throw in there for confusion. Yes, she is projecting her control and lack of consideration onto you because she needs to see you become that person she’s fighting in her head. You are not controlling for wanting to pace things but maybe consider how your not letting go might make her continue to treat you this way. Yes, why are you still trying? Answer that honestly. The book “No More Mr Nice Guy” is on…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 04:51 AM
1

Hmmm…this is an interesting take. Thanks for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 06:57 PM
1

I hear you and this is a valid worry. Thanks for the advise.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 06:50 PM
2

She has no place of her own. Signed a prenup and she never worked even before the child cause “unemployment struggles”. Can’t have her and the child living on the streets now, can I? And she’s not a bad mother so no grounds for full custody.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:09 PM
2

Not offended.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:05 PM
0

Yea. It’s not primary school maths.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:25 AM
1

I agree with you. At this point, I really don’t know what she wants out of me. Says she wants friendship but won’t even put in the work.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:05 AM
1

Thank you 🙏🏽
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:04 AM
1

Thanks. I appreciate that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:04 AM
2

Thanks for the comment.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:03 AM
2

Yes it is complex. Thanks for the suggestions.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:03 AM
2

Okay thanks
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:03 AM
2

Thanks for the response
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:02 AM
2

Somehow you came to this conclusion because?
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 04:40 AM
3

Thanks a bunch!
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 09:57 PM
3

You mean asking her to start dating?
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 09:56 PM
5

I really would be relieved to know she’s dating. She needs to go figure her life or get hitched to someone else since she won’t ever see how messed up she can be.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 09:49 PM
1

Not half. 95% at the least. She’s been unemployed throughout our relationship. I have shared a lot of the details on my page. She’s quite laid back and now can claim it’s because she’s breastfeeding. I can’t wait for our daughter to be weaned of breastmilk and we will need a definite timeline.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 09:47 PM
2

I hope the thread helps a lot of us
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 09:45 PM
3

Thanks for sharing this insight. I will draft a separation agreement and notarize it at the least. Can’t afford a lawyer at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 09:45 PM
8

I think that a lot of men in this boat, like me, are truly lacking boundaries and unfortunately craving validation from the wrongest place. Also, the need to be understood is a trap. She’ll never understand. You’ve got to just walk your own path and let her do her worst. I don’t think my wife is as bad as OP’s, she doesn’t have a spending problem but I gave way too much than was needed. Reorganizing my life now that we have a kid and I can’t send her off to the streets.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 12:00 PM
12

If you need a sense of purpose, there are a lot of people all over the world who could do with some of that good money. Look for ways to serve others and make them smile. See how it changes your life.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 02:07 AM
3

If that is what you truly need for your peace, maybe set that boundary without being upset about it. You do not want to keep interacting with them so often because it triggers unpleasant feelings. Honor that and whoever cares about your well being in the family will find a way to stop “shoving” it in your face even if they do not want to cut her off. Also, remember you cannot control every single person connected to your ex. That would be making everyone’s life all about yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 09:00 AM
2

The best thing you can do for your kids is show them they should accept such treatment from people they love.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 08:52 PM
3

Remove yourself from that messy situation. Also evaluate if there’s no underlying messiah complex here, considering getting involved after he knocked someone up and still trying to get involved now. You cannot save those kids from their parent’s choices. There will be zero medals and you’d lose all the peace you’ve managed to put together.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 11:06 AM
5

Like I said, no one starts out knowing all the baggage.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 08:19 AM
5

I don’t think he married thinking he would have nothing positive. Is this how you would respond if the genders were reversed. He is clearly outlining a problem and all you want to do is dismiss him.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 07:04 AM
1

Thanks for sharing this and it’s not weakness to have those fleeting thoughts that things can get better. It’s part of how much the marriage has messed with one’s head and self-esteem. Also, you did love this person once.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 09:29 AM
0

This is always their delusion and entitlement. They’ll not pull equal effort to even make your lives both better but then they still want comfortable living after divorce. A lifestyle they didn’t even appreciate to start with. At least your wife earns something. Mine had zero income for years save for a few times she would earn a bit and buy a few things in the house. I am the one asking her to leave so I can arrange to take care of our daughter alone which we will take turns. I’m not going to m…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 09:18 AM
6

This thread has helped me too. However, I must let you know that this rarely gets better. Social media and all kinds of voices convince women that men are horrible and they are “queens”. Even when she claims to want to work on things, she actually means you need to work on things. My own partner would have these perfunctory moments where she realizes she also contributes to how messed up the situation is but will never take practical steps to improve that. You’ll find yourself begging to be hear…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 08:59 AM
1

So sorry to read this. It is sad when you have to pick up after your partner. I often felt more like I could relate with women who talked about their unemployed partners—the laziness, the jealousy, the pettiness, the lack of effort and untidiness. I am happy I am not allowing this go longer than necessary. We both signed an uncontested divorce agreement and will file it in court despite having not lived apart for any extended period. I will fight for the right to cater for my child without her a…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 01:47 PM
2

I also have thought about how lonely it will feel for a while and I might want to date again but I really thought she was different and that has killed my faith in thinking anyone out there will be any much different. It might get restored but for now, gaming will have to suffice. I play COD but for anonymity sake can’t give out any info here. But let’s keep in touch.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 12:02 PM
6

This is spot on. My life right now. I have decided to let it go cause there’s no repairing this kind of situation.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 11:23 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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