TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Bretweir_jerky Archive

View 3 posts and 222 comments by Bretweir_jerky on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

How is this confusing? This situation is extremely common. Just because she says “I’m not haaaaaapy” doesn’t mean you pack up and walk out of your house. And all women dump their kids off to go get railed. And most would leave them with a homeless serial killer if it meant 5 more minutes with Tyrone in the bar parking lot. Including the married ones
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 11:39 AM
7

It’s gonna depend on you. I’ve pushed it and worked on myself; did all the cliche “gym, clothes, money bro” crap. Read the books, dated off and on the apps, bought a house, sold a house. Took my kids on vacation, left them with her while I went alone. I still hate her. I hate seeing my old house, I hate her taking my sons on vacation with her new men, I hate her face, I hate that she breathes. She doesn’t change. She gets off breaking the divorce agreement and knowing there’s nothing I can do ab…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 01:41 PM
3

Sounds too familiar, sorry. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Record and document hopefully while she’s in the affair fog, you’ll be able to get get full custody and block her out of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 03:10 PM
3

Didn’t help
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 02:57 PM
4

Do not look to her for closure. They don’t have it and if they did they wouldn’t give it. Move in. You already have moved on just stop looking back
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 09:39 AM
12

Try to get over that hurt. They’re all like that. The line about “if it’s meant to be it’ll be” is so arrogant and dismissive of her actions it should be all you really need to know. As far as the other side goes, if you’ve spent anytime reading here you know you’ll have two options. This is what is meant by red and blue “pills.” You can do the gym, clothes, work, money “bro” route and “find a good woman who knows your worth.” And in a few years repeat the cycle. Or you can read about, learn abo…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 05:26 PM
15

Why is this posted here?
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 10:53 AM
1

She’s going to go crazy for the next few years chasing doctors, bad boys, rappers and rich guys. Get your kids for as much time as possible. Fortunately she probably earns well enough that she won’t use them as pawns for finance and they won’t add to her dating life so in the early fog she might give them up. Never dated a nurse because when you know, you know
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 01:26 AM
1

Been separated going on 7 years divorced 6 and it’s still the same
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 08:24 PM
4

I hate this answer, no insult to the poster. I’ve gone through this and continue to go through this situation with every event. Graduations, kids events, etc. And I’ve done all the nonsense, the showing up buff, looking good, etc., etc. But she dominates the scenario plays up to the people there, and then with a smirk on her face tries to invade and break as many of my boundaries as possible. It’s because they’re evil matter what you look like. So to the OP, I am sorry you’re going through this,…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 08:23 PM
2

Sorry friend. I know the feeling.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 10:59 AM
0

Sir, I am truly sorry you’re dealing with this especially in light of how forthright and decent you’ve been according to your text. You may have done too much but who am I to say. Fighting for your child is the most important fight you can do and as a man in family courts both hands are tied, you’re blindfolded and she’s given multiple head starts. A battle I’m sure you know. But you’re worth it, your kids worth it and your future has the two of you in it. You’ll have scars but you’ll win dad!
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 11:10 AM
6

That’s how mine started and around the same age too. Girls night out became the norm, 4-7 nights a week while I watched the kids. Then she threw in the shaming language that I needed to get out of the house more, she was sick of me being around. Run. And file first. Treat her like the enemy she is
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 08:50 AM
8

You’ll find someone better! You!
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 11:29 PM
1

Each one of those points is a one way street heading toward emasculating hell. We agreed on finances is YOU agreeing to her demands. Nonsense
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 12:51 AM
2

For you I hope the old man is correct. For me? Not so much. This past weekend proved her another victory over me and further destroyed the bond between me and my son. She doesn’t lose. Ever. Some of us just ran outta road…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 03:10 PM
11

NEVER reach out and call them to talk! I know this because I did this too. You give them power and authority and they get off on the cold, flippant advice they give you. Ignore. Always ignore. This person sued you in court to destroy your life it is not your friend
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 10:58 AM
10

Save those texts talk to your lawyer get her committed and get custody. Read these other stories from men and imagine if the roles were reversed. Would she, the person who sued you in court planning to destroy your family and take your resources, give you the same treatment?
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 12:52 PM
2

Damn that’s one I forgot too! She used to owe thousands every year that would balance out with my refund. And she was so fuckin sneaky with “oh I don’t know where that is, just finish the taxes already”
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 08:34 PM
3

To answer your last questions, no. No I do not worry about her or her future. In fact I pray she feels 1/10 of the hell I was put through, yet she continues to thrive, continues to manipulate the kids and goes on 5-10 vacations a year while building additions on the house and getting ran through by dozens of men. To be so lucky to think she was going to crash out
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 11:28 AM
4

I know your frustration, I’ve been there too. But I think if you read back what you wrote you’ll read about a man who has fought and won! You sir are a fighter and a winner! She is nuts. She planned the destruction of a family and is behaving like a child when it doesn’t get its way. Keep fighting. Stay in the game, you’re so close to the other side
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 11:05 AM
5

Clear language about what to do when she violates the custody agreement. And NOT to concede anything. Get that 1/2 of her 401(k), even if she says it’s “only like 1000 bucks.” Good. Give me MY 500
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 06:39 PM
19

I’ll borrow the same idea as another poster here: Until men are allowed to comment in the women’s subs, I’m not responding to a woman here
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 11:29 AM
13

When they start disrespecting you like this they’ve already moved on. She is abusing you and it will only continue and get worse. Better get in the game and fight back. She’s already got another guy, a lawyer and a “the rapist” lined up to take you apart
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 11:30 AM
4

This. All of this. I was in a similar situation only less wealth. During mediation the financial disclosures were where she lied the most. Plus she was prepared by one of her boyfriends and her mother; she knew what she would get away with. Get a lawyer and follow all the advice here
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 02:24 PM
4

Sorry mate. Some of us have been through it and had the experience of years to look back; 20/20 and all. I’m sorry you’re going through it now. Best advice is to contact a few lawyers and make sure to pay them for the consult, even if it’s just 1/2 hr. Get a plan together by learning your states laws. Be prepared to find out she’s already done all of this and more by the time you get to step one. Lean on the men here for advice and don’t be afraid to vent. Hang in there and maybe on 20 years you…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 07:43 PM
23

Red flag #1 - Real estate agent Red flag #2 - “find herself” Red flag #3 - she likes drinking in public with other people. Some of you purple pill guys can argue w me but look at the results
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 06:46 PM
1

Yeah I agree. Didn’t know if you’re allowed to post names on this sub
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 01:16 PM
2

Came here for this. Apps are horrible. Women’s behavior in person has become way worse year over year and online it’s leagues below. Try to meet nicer, younger and for recreational use only
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 07:16 PM
6

There is a popular YouTuber who came up with a chart called the marriage wheel. It is based on the idea that women follow a cycle of stages in a relationship that usually ends with her divorcing and taking your stuff as planned. From meeting, to selecting, investment then starting drama and collecting “facts” on you before causing the divorce. Most women have the divorce planned before the wedding
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 07:14 PM
9

And yet another example of a woman using the marriage wheel script and playing herself (more importantly her kids) out of a family. Talk to lawyer quick and see if you can catch up
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:12 PM
2

You’ve asked for this insight dozens of times already and claimed to have “gotten your answer” at least ten times. Stop trolling, or stop changing the story and accept your advice you asked for. You’re either here to hear what you want or trying to stir up drama
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 11:23 AM
3

Glad you came to your senses. Sorry, but by the time you’re aware she’s “thinking” about it, it’s already been done. Be careful, they only get to that stage after they have laid all the traps
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 10:37 AM
5

First, you don’t have to apologize when venting here. That’s a tough story and whatever you need to get it out, it’s yours. Second, your service and deployment specifically is appreciated. 3rd, yeah… you do know what to do. Go fight for yourself now
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 04:00 PM
6

The reason your so tired from showing up is because when you “show up” you have to chase moving goal posts
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 11:26 AM
3

This is standard? I’ve never seen or heard of anything like this! I guess it isn’t a thing in my/no fault states(?). And am I glad it isn’t. Those questions would have sent me to the moon in a rage. She was the one hiding files, connecting with men online, having secret computers and accounts. Wow, just wow
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 11:05 AM
3

Came here to say that! I stopped reading at “shes seeing someone… but it’s ok!” Yeah. No. Game over
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 12:25 AM
4

You’re lucky and good for you. However, you have a 50/50 shot of being right back where you were. I suppose that was the op’s intention
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 10:10 PM
6

Yeah, that’s the right place for that sentiment. I’m in that boat except the outside of marriage thing. It’s just not worth it and it’s getting worse
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 10:06 PM
3

My friend you’re not headed for divorce, you’re already there and have been for a while. Many men here can corroborate that when you finally pull the trigger and respond you’ll find that she started the process many months even years ago. She’s just been pushing you to help her by cutting it first. That is abuse and you’ve been abused. Treat her like the enemy combatant that she is because I promise you that’s how she views you
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 10:47 AM
7

Wow. So sorry you went through that and even more sorry that all that burden had to be shouldered in quiet. This society is so fake. If 1/10 of that happened to a woman there would be outrage, people getting involved, free resources provided, simps lining up to defend “muh lady” and all the Reddit normies circling the wagons. But when it happens to men… crickets. Except here. Thank you for sharing, thank you for being there for other men too
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 11:08 AM
2

Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 10:59 AM
2

I agree to a point. It can be a great way to save money and move through the process legally where you can be protected. Yes, you’ll need a lawyer separately to file w the court, answer the court etc. ( Mine also had great advice on how to relax with some of the bs). Make sure the lawyer doing the financials is legit ( they’re part of the mediation team).You won’t see hers and she won’t see yours but you need to be honest there. If she risks lying to go along with the plan in her head you won’t …
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 10:47 PM
7

Get DNA tests too. It won’t help with child support but at least you’ll know
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 11:02 AM
2

Yeah, I get this. Been there too, so I empathize with your frustration. What happened to me though was when real sad stuff happened later on in life I could/would. Made me look back and think that I wasn’t ever sad about her. Angry? Yes and still. But never sad. My life improved dramatically once that rot was cut away
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 04:59 PM
3

While you’d be correct and right (you are the father and have parental rights) doesn’t mean she won’t get her way. The simps in the court, the “friends” that’ll help her lie and people you thought were your friends will move heaven and earth to cater to the “poor, put upon, single mother, who just wants the best for her kids.” That said, make her take you to court. Make her call in those “favors.” You do what is right for your kids and she can go fight however she’d like. Tell her to go to hell
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 11:27 AM
13

My final straw was the last of many times where she’d plan activities for the kids that didn’t include me and she’d schedule herself a girls day/night. She’s talk to the kids the other kids parents and set up activities for them, not tell me and then 5 min before tell me I need to be here/there for the kids whatever and she’ll be back when she feels like it. And if I ask where she’s going that’s “toxic, controlling and abusive” (thanks tickthot). The last time I said enough I’m not doing this an…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 08:36 PM
4

No such thing as 🦄
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 04:35 PM
1

Yes he does and that was years ago! Hang in there, once they’re older you can cut all contact with her
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 04:34 PM
7

I’ll never understand this behavior. They either can’t wait to call a guy “new dad” or they absolutely refuse to introduce you to their kids. My ex tried to introduce the first “new dad” to my kids within the hour of me moving out. My then 13 year old had to tell her it wasn’t the right time. Every woman I’ve dated with the exception of two, didn’t want me to be involved w their kids
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 03:50 PM
6

It’s all for social media validation. I’ll bet real coin that every gift has a receipt posted to fakebook, or their real love, tickthot
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 02:48 PM
9

Man I’m sorry, but as others here have responded… it’s in your first sentence. Tough year after she started a new job… Get out in front of this and catch up. She’s been cheating for a long time, at least a year. Cut her off and hope the fog of all the new ducks on the cc gives you an opportunity to write the details in your favor
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 02:43 PM
32

Credit to Coach Greg Adams: Men are in love, women are in business.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 12:39 PM
5

Even in her attempt to talk to you she accuses you, blames you then insinuates that the kids are in some sort of mess. That is a total head case. Block and ignore unless it’s in a co parenting app and see if you can increase your custody
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 05:53 PM
3

Yes, what Royal_tie said. Even if you have evidence it doesn’t matter. Plus, by you not having the evidence you can catch her off guard and be at the starting line or at least only a few steps behind. They’re sneaky, and it’s what they do. Don’t be surprised when you spring it that she was already planning herself. The best tip you’ll get is that she will be in the fog of the new guy so get the custody kicked in first
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 08:21 PM
4

I was 3 or so years into my divorce when ex mil died. Thought about going for my kids but the thought of being in that room with all of them, all the assholes, the dead mil who helped her daughter plan the divorce and hide money and of course the ex too. I said fuck it. Kids can talk to me later. Not sorry
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 07:52 PM
15

You can just pay me more… and to them that sounds reasonable. If I over think it like I usually do, it gets way darker. They really think we were with them only to give and fix. That they can run around, bang anyone wherever and whenever and we’re bound by our “vows” to put up with it. The cognitive dissonance is astounding. They really don’t see what they did
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 08:57 PM
3

I mediated and got 50/50 while my kids were younger. The expectation was as they get older they’re going to kinda move more at their own leisure and I did want that, regardless the outcome. They changed the 2-2-5 (which they hated) to week on week off. At 18 my oldest decided to stay with me, but at 17 he had switched to month on month off. Personally, I think it’s best for them to decide. Just because the new guy at work was so “funny” and the neighbors had more stuff and she destroyed the fami…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 11:13 AM
2

Sorry, channeling my inner Frank Reynolds
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 06:58 PM
7

If ever there were a time to show off, treat and show respect to a new girl… right in front of the ex. Tell the ex you’re too busy to talk, bout to get another bang session in
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 04:30 PM
7

Want to waste money? Nothing beats a boat
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 02:07 PM
2

I remember a study from way back in like 2009 that cited Facebook as responsible for 20% of all infidelity in marriage. When it came out is was almost as if it was designed for high school boyfriends to reach out and cause women to leave their husbands. The sense of validation these hive minded people “enjoy” must be more than intoxicating. That need for conformity actually sickens me
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 11:17 AM
3

24 is as bad for me as pretty much every year since 95
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 11:08 AM
5

Some of us don’t even have that. They like resources. They like chaos and drama. Use, and deposit. Move on to focusing on you
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 02:11 PM
2

Man, mine won’t drop my last name. You’re lucky to be rid of yours
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 02:09 PM
16

Your question should be “who cares?” Stop looking for her validation
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 09:27 PM
26

Never talk to them. Never open yourself to them and NEVER look for honesty, accountability or an apology. Society has conditioned them and their evolutionary bias to be this way. Walk away and give them nothing
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 06:38 PM
2

And in life with regard to travel, job opportunities, houses, cars all the stuff that makes sense. But with women? It’s not about being perfect, but in today’s society the damage the wrong one can do can be fatal. And there are more and more “wrong” ones added to the roles everyday. And they’re celebrated and rewarded for being that way and you’re blamed for picking the “wrong one.” All that to say risk > reward
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 09:47 PM
11

After a divorce it is your DUTY to be picky and prefer being alone. If you don’t learn your lesson you’re doomed to repeat it
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 02:29 PM
4

People always cape for the woman. You’ll put it out there, and at best, get no response. More likely, you’ll be attacked for not showing “maturity” of keeping it to yourself. I’m sorry, but nobody cares. We here do and will because we’ve been through it. But normies will defend the woman at all costs and attack you. It’s unfair, it’s damaging and it hurts. Sorry
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 02:56 PM
-5

Hahahaha! This is so wrong! But ok Sigmund
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 03:04 PM
4

It is technically but I am years out, kids are older and have decided their comings and going for awhile. Can’t force teenagers not to drive 5 min back to their mothers
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 11:48 PM
4

She doesn’t tell me. She tells them. They agree then tell me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 10:07 PM
2

Yeah. I just have to vent. That scum bag will always have a way to be infected into my life. I hate her so goddamn much
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 10:01 PM
4

Because she doesn’t ask me. She tells them, they agree so they “don’t have to listen to her” and then they tell me. If I say no to them they argue and fight with me that they don’t want to be in the middle. This has been going on for years
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 09:57 PM
12

I dumped one last year, a cashier from a convenience store for not only saying it to me but doubling down when I said she was not. They’re as hard headed as they are oblivious
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen04/09/24 08:24 PM
16

Dear God, it’s amazing that they don’t just have a script they all copy and paste and that they think this is unique. The whole time i was waiting for the “intimidating” line and there it was. Strong, independent “intimidating” 50 year old with 4 kids, one still in middle school. Gee, can’t figure out why the millionaire 40 year old with a successful career ($$$$$$) doesn’t want to attend the fall play with me at Benjamin Dover Middle School
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen04/09/24 08:22 PM
1

Amen to this. You first then your kid. Never allow the ex to dictate anything. Fuck them Edit: I wish I had the ability of my words here. I have to ignore mine because the attention is what she craves
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 08:17 PM
3

Do your own thing. Never willingly walk into a spiders web. You first, like mentioned prior. That is a crazy way for them to emasculate you further and do it in public and in front of your kid. I do separate always
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 08:16 PM
6

Great question. Meaning, which of us was strong and centered enough to stand up for ourselves and resist the first tests of gaslighting, emasculation and lies? Sadly, not many if any. However I think I found the reason why 2nd and successive marriages have higher rates of divorce; we learn
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 10:10 AM
41

Crystal Methany. Drugs are bad
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/09/24 01:07 AM
2

All except the “single dads unicorns” part. You must live in a great place. It ain’t like that here
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 06:55 PM
5

I’m with you and I know exactly how you feel. If there could just be some recognition or apology or at the very least a shade of guilt I feel like I could move on better. But she doesn’t, and I haven’t and it’s been years. Part of “watch what she does not what she says” is this. Even if she apologizes it’s not worth trusting and a sign she’s up to something. Their behavior is all the same after divorce and I believe it’s because a. Constant lifelong validation by simps. B. The social media narra…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 06:50 PM
3

No kids? Then no way! One of the very few benefits of going through the divorce process, I. E. Having your heart and finances removed forcibly through your anus is that you see the world for the way it is. And the way it is, is that marriage is a terrible business deal that benefits, one side for breaking it, if you were married, and you can get out of it somewhat unscaled, read without child support, and alimony take it and run!
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 09:54 PM
5

I went/am going through something similar. That confidence that they have regardless of how patently wrong they are. To me, it’s evidence of just how corrupt the whole industry is. They live their lives with the attitude of “heads I win, tails you lose” and all the simps and court employees seem to agree. Try to stay calm, adjust your grey rock like suggested here and hold on. You win in the end
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 12:51 PM
6

I swear, they not only get the cash and prizes for the divorce, they seem to enjoy the destruction of the family. It’s why they love this “co-parenting” Bull shit. It’s like the socially approved way of getting the free babysitter so they can go get tan thru. And if you have a problem with it, they have all their social media validation waiting to say what a monster you are. And they never stop. When my ex called me over because my dog died, she made sure to put out @a bunch of garbage she found…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 09:48 PM
4

Projection at its finest. Be wary if there mother is around too. They usually train their daughters how to hide money and help them by hiding it for them.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 06:24 PM
5

It’s higher. Women with college degrees file 90% of divorces
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 06:22 PM
4

The story you shared, and thank you by the way; we appreciate the support, is boilerplate. So to know that others, including women, see this behavior which is endemic, is validating. They’ll take the kids for the prize money, then shuffle them off to whomever will take them so the new guy has time. It’s sick. And in another of my responses I recently discussed how the advice men receive is way different than what women receive regarding kids and divorce
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 06:21 PM
6

Be nice if women were forced to play this version or at the very least heed the advice of keeping the new boyfriends away from the hurt kids. All the advice I’ve seen men given, don’t bad talk her to the kids, don’t bring girlfriends around etc isn’t told to women. In fact the whole process for them is so what you want, react “heal on your journey”, you’re kids will be fine, etc
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 10:48 AM
2

Brother I hear that and I know that struggle. You summed it up perfectly
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 12:41 AM
2

Oh my kids are much older, and we don’t have a crazy agreement beyond week on/week off. So I’m always having to drive one over for an Xbox controller or school clothes. Soon she’ll be outta my life for good
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 09:29 PM
1

It’s only men who state that last part. And typically were the ones that didn’t. She did. And she did it on purpose and she will never take any accountability for it. They’re too busy being ran thru on tinder and finger talking in the front seat of their car to their obsession, ticktock
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 06:59 PM
7

Typically because you spent so much time with them and the emasculation and manipulation efd up your brain. You let her lead so she could be “happy” although these creatures are never happy. So you’d adapt. And adapt, adapt, adapt until you’re really good at adapting. To her. Then she reveals the real plan and it’s the stereotypical cash and prizes for her, new men for her, the house for her, the kids for her and you get the bill. So you try to adapt… It’s gonna take awhile
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 02:54 PM
7

What you said about being triggered by all the beta husbands is so true. After my divorce, it became so clear what cucks these men are. I knew something was off when I was in that haze, but my God. Seeing them now makes me sick. It’s one of the reasons I love this sub so much because we get to be there for them when they arrive.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 09:29 PM
3

All solid advice. Look for the 50/50, play it cool, realize your being set up by your EX wife (start working that into your lexicon) and that the best you can hope for is that the other parties see she is being unreasonable. But. What stuck out to me was your lawyers reaction. No judgement here but that would unnerve me. Any divorce attorney shouldn’t be surprised by anything a woman does in divorce. In this sub alone there are hundreds of stories of women doing the exact same thing. Your lawyer…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 04:57 PM
5

So well put. I did this exact same thing. I’ve dated quite a bit since my divorce and it got to a point I was dreading it. At my age I have no need to be interviewed by some 50 year old divorced nurse to see if I “meet her expectations.” I exceed them, and I don’t care. It seems so fake to talk to someone and pretend you are gonna go and mix your life together and care about them. I won’t and I don’t. Sex is the result of performing in her circus. And it’s not worth it. Even if she was married a…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 10:36 AM
2

Happy birthday, dad. It’s what we do for ourselves now that matters. Watch a funny movie, if you drink have a beer and enjoy
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 12:20 AM
16

I’ve said it before and only need to say it because all the other advice here is spot on, as usual; Stop talking to her. She is not your friend. She sued you in court to take your money and destroy your family for another man. Cut contact
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 10:49 PM
3

She wants you to lead. The longer you take to make the decision and do the legwork the more irrational she’s likely to become. I don’t know her, but if she talks about it, she’s thought about it and probably already planning it. Don’t wait till she starts telling you about her dates
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 04:27 PM
1

You could look for a mediator. They might be less per hour and you split the bill. At least in my state
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 04:24 PM
1

If you can do it yourselves do it. It might take a lawyer to review and submit but you can save a ton as long as there is no fighting over dish rags and furniture
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 04:23 PM
14

Dude. Stop talking to her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 06:56 PM
3

If you do go the app route, don’t take it personal. You can read here about what that experience is like for 90% of men. And wrap it up!!!!! Always! What they tell you they do will be shocking and that’s only a small percentage. When you see your exwife on there don’t be surprised and DO NOT SWIPE RIGHT!!! Also don’t text her and mention it etc; you don’t want to know. If you go the arranges by friends route expect the same if it’s someone you’ve never met before. Most divorced women are dating …
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 03:40 PM
2

The process (depending on state) is straightforward, easy, cheap etc. That’s the paperwork. How the process goes is way different. Knowing the steps, times, answers etc. that costs money and a mediator/lawyer. Then there’s the “but she said she agreed ???” And “I never did any of that’s!” From the person who’s planning to sue you in court. Then you need a personal divorce attorney to spend 500$ an hour on to make sure you’re not living in your car for the rest of your life
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 12:28 AM
2

This is true. Her locking up the bedroom computer is a 🚩 Add in her phone behavior and you have your answer. We’ve all seen it so much it’s as plain as sight. I hope the OP can too. If she’s sneaky, do the same about getting a lawyer and getting underway. Chances are she’s already 4 steps ahead
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 12:19 AM
1

I too worked in restaurants a long time ago but didn’t become a professional like you. I just was a hobbyist I guess is the best way to put it. Over the years though I have cooked less and less. The final step for me to solve the same problem you have (and I mean this works for me, not giving advice) is I stopped trying to stick the house like I did when I was married. With inflation it’s almost the same price to eat out. If I’m going to cook I stop and buy ingredients on the way home for that m…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 01:46 PM
1

Yes, great advice here on earning capacity. In my state I was explicitly told that income is based on your career potential. Meaning I can’t go get a min wage 7/11 job and declare that. It’s based on me having a career now and with a graduate degree being able to earn more. Thankfully she earned more than me so I got out of CS and alimony. I also have/had 50/50
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 01:41 PM
1

It is rare when they use good financial planning. Women are the majority of consumers in the economy. Look at all the mens stories here about her “needs” while married for creams and balms and clothes. Not to mention decorations to compete with neighbors, house decor to mimic their favorite ticktocker. There’s a reason men after divorce find financial freedom so much easier
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 01:35 PM
3

As others have mentioned your looking way beyond the present where your head needs to be. With that being said, I’ve dated a few women who had post divorce relationships like this. Ex husband comes over for dinner 4 nights a week, has her do his laundry still, some have had vacations with the ex. To each their own but that’s not for me. I see divorce as a problem and a plague on modern relationships and families. I will not willingly go along with all the new “ticktock therapist” jargon and vali…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 08:33 PM
2

No. Not ever. Not even once. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. If you feel like it could be fun, I think you have your answer.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 08:28 PM
2

Exactly. If what the OP says is true, she is way too used to getting her way and controlling things. Unfortunately it also means she’s gonna explode when he takes control. Lawyer up and good luck
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 08:27 PM
1

Oh yeah. If she’s that shut off I’d do what the others suggested and contact a lawyer first. Get everything ironed out with them then present it to her. Here’s what you asked for, here’s what the law says then shut her out
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 07:07 PM
3

Believe me I’m no softee when it comes to divorce but the way you described her; is it really what’s best? She’s stayed home with the kids, it’s been almost 20 years and she’s stayed where she’s far from home. Unless there is cheating, browbeating and emasculation, violence etc. can’t it be salvaged?
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 06:05 PM
4

When they monkey branch they trash you and your name so that they don’t look guilty for what they’ve done. Been through it myself. Sorry, I know the frustration
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 01:55 PM
5

Amen
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 08:11 PM
2

I think it’s also because society expects us to be in relationships, and finding any woman is difficult. Some men just don’t want to be single and go through the process so they accept all manner of mistreatment, abuse and cheating. It’s so hard for some to realize what society and social media has unleashed with regard to female nature. Some men suck it up and take try after try after try, looking to do the “normal” thing. Few can walk away. Fewer can resist the shaming language and lack of soc…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 09:20 PM
1

Even that’s no guarantee. I know someone who makes 100K+ and is going after CS from her ex boyfriend who is on fixed income
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 02:02 PM
6

Waiting for your ex to become “agreeable and help” isn’t a great move. I don’t know her or your marriage but there are countless stories her of women changing their minds, going back on there word, lying and in some cases doing whatever it takes to catch you off guard and “punish” you. Your second option puts a whole lot of trust in someone who just sued you in court to get away from you…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 12:23 PM
1

This. And here, where you wrote this. This sub has great advice
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 02:46 AM
1

I really don’t want to step on or confuse any of the great information you’re getting in this thread. I have 2 boys, we started with 2-2-5-5 and they really didn’t like it. My ex kept the house and that was home so when they were with me at the “new house” it wasn’t as comfortable. I was close though so it made it easier. They switched to 7-7 and it was better for them because they really rejected moving. Either house didn’t matter, just moving bothered them. I even kept their own rooms with sec…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 01:22 AM
2

This and your other comment before are more than gold! Wow. If I took time, reviewed all my paperwork and wins/losses from my divorce and the first few years after, I don’t think I could have created such a precise, non specific by state, yet relevant, organized punch list. Bravo! This really should be cut and paste for every man on zero day
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 01:17 AM
0

I didn’t say anything about left nor right or politics. My comment stands as does the intended message that you co-signed. Whether I look bad to you is irrelevant
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 12:40 AM
2

Just like avoiding religion/clergy I would suggest being very particular in avoiding most “therapists.” Many are blue hair, nose ring, sleeve tattoo, feminists who’s only mission is to make you, the man, look bad and record it all nicely for her. Male only therapist and the older usually the better. Watch out for soy-boys
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 10:38 PM
10

Yup. You realize at the divorce what she really is. So many men here are doing well after facing that demon and going through hell. I can only hope that that type of status climbing, never happy, manipulative behavior truly makes her unhappy. Once the youngest is 18…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 01:45 AM
7

Be very, very careful with what she “says” vs what she “does.” She already cheated, then worked in the next step of the marriage wheel, get in “therapy” to find a “professional on HER side and find YOUR blame.” Do you really want to trust this person in a courtroom where she benefits by destroying you? Where taking your kids gives her more cash and prizes? Lawyer up, go grey rock and batten down hatches.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 07:25 PM
1

When I went through mediation part of it was financial disclosures. But they were done with neither party sees the others results.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 10:51 PM
6

What I missed in the process is all of the accounts she was supposed to disclose. I mediated and they took her side but mostly kept it 50/50. What I saved in the process more than made up. She was more than a few steps ahead of me. Big miss. By the time she started with “I’m not haaaaaapy” she already had a lawyer, hid her accounts and money for years and had been plotting with her boyfriend. What caught me off guard was how structured and business like it was at the court level. No trial. No ar…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 07:23 PM
3

Personally I didn’t lose my kids, but they have expressed in multiple ways they’re not happy. For my personal situation, my kids were upset about having two homes and two sets of expectations so it made them angry. I have spoke with and talked to so many men who have lost their children through their baby momma terrorists actions. Like a few of the comments below, to summarize my anecdotal evidence, yes you can get some back. Boys are different than girls, they seem to come back earlier like 18-…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 02:48 PM
4

Amen and great job! You deserve the rest and relaxation that’s coming. Plus the time and money you’ll recoup. As long as there aren’t any kids and you don’t fixate on her new “dating” life (or she doesn’t throw it in your face) you sir are in store for a great comeback
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 05:25 PM
2

She’s handing you the scissors. Look through her phone if you want to find motivation. You could probably ask her at this point. When she declares war, believe her. It’s a business transaction in a court where you’re the enemy
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 03:42 PM
11

On the marriage wheel it goes from the love bomb, to the investment to the bait and switch. That’s their playbook and they plan the divorce before the wedding
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 12:50 PM
3

Nope. After training her daughter how to divorce and hiding her money for her, she died. Young too.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 03:53 AM
2

I chose to find homes in the area due to my children and job. Since 2019 I’ve stayed w family, bought two different houses, sold them and now in the process of renting. All were close by for kids and work. I regularly look at other states and dream of one day. I have one more kid still in school so indeed maybe one day. It sucks, it’s not fair, but I’ve had to scrap and fight to find places to live just so I could be an active 50%. I have one whose chosen to live with me 100% so it’s worth it
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 06:38 PM
2

20 a month is very, very cheap. I guess it depends on the state/school/age of kids but wait till high school. 5x that number!
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 03:22 PM
6

I’ve asked/mentioned this before here and I’m so thankful for these posts and replies. I am one who isn’t. I’ve been divorced years and gotten much better but the turbulence thrown into my life by an evil, cheating, backstabbing woman all while trying to protect my boys has taken quite a long to rebound from. Because she’s such a sociopath she’s doing great. Tons of money, vacations constantly, never follows custody agreement just would leave kids with me when it’s time for another new guy off t…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 01:28 PM
3

That was my biggest and really only issue. Locked that up first and took advantage of her distractions. She was so busy getting ran thru off tinder and focused on hiding her multiple accounts that the kids were an afterthought. I got that locked in right off jump
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 11:53 PM
5

I agree with this 💯 I’ve seen both and been one of those. End is at least 50% likely regardless
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 06:07 PM
6

Please do not feel guilty. You have to protect yourself and your kids and she has proven herself a threat. They use your manufactured guilt against you; countless men look back on their divorce later with a clear mind and can’t fathom the things they did to “protect” her or keep her “happy.” Take the advise and the PO, have her arrested as it states when she shows up. This has been done to men under false pretenses to gain an advantage in divorce. You’re using it correctly
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 04:23 PM
4

And does the void whisper back? Sounds like you’re in the void now. There will be flashes of light. Intermittent and inconsistent. Enough will add up in time to get you to see it doesn’t matter
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 12:20 AM
4

Ahhhh, no. No you are not the only one! But, knowing now helps me to protect myself. I value myself in a relationship. There is no nagging, no shit tests, no arguing no pleading, nothing. I value myself and I leave. No emotion
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 07:33 PM
1

Wow. I’ve never heard or imagined this scenario. Might be worth hiring a PI
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 07:31 PM
7

Don’t talk. She’ll use it against you. It’s been 20 years and she knows what she’s done. She also knows what’s out there waiting. Maybe she’s already been. Cut ties quickly and move on and away. I’ve never thought about what it would be like to go through that with a woman who knows what’s on the other side, truthfully. She’s fighting to stay for a reason. Scary
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 11:15 PM
2

Ask! Not her but your attorney. For all the negative you might read about them they’re very good at knowing how your state works. Let them handle the business only talk business and let the state laws work. It worked for me, I spend little and got 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 11:09 PM
3

Mine only does this publicly. It’s very important to her to have a carefully constructed public image. At a kids back to school, or concert m, graduation etc. she’ll play pretend that we’re the “best co-parenting team Facebook has ever seen.” But that’s only half of it. My refusal to speak or engage or answer her questioning is framed as “destructive to the coparenting relationship she has created.” I don’t care ignoring her comes easy
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 03:07 AM
3

This is what we are trying to tell you. YES YOU DO NEED THINGS AND MONEY! You’re about to go to war with someone who disrespects you and wants to see you suffer. And your hands are tied because nobody cares about your emotional well being. She will use her emotions and the courts against you and they’re on her side. This is your LIFE! Get in touch with an attorney and fight for 1/2 by the letter of the law. If she has to sell the house, sell it. If she has to pay alimony and car payments and giv…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 01:27 PM
6

I used to think like that. That if I could custom curate the right rhetoric, build the logical case through deductive reasoning, target and wield words like arrows with intention, then! Then I could hurt her like she’d hurt me. Then I could get her eyes to open to the version of reality I’d been in for years and the horror of her own actions would flood her into the same despair I was in. We would be equal. And I could walk away. Years later I realized she didn’t feel like that ever and she neve…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 01:19 PM
2

Ok this is out there but it kinda worked for me and I got real lucky. I pushed for mediation. We had to split that cost and that was pretty much a known quantity as they had a schedule of how to draft the decree. I hired an attorney who just needed to look over the decree, explain anything I didn’t understand and put his .02$ in. I also needed him for answering the court, setting the dates etc. Because I knew his secretary and he did my friends divorce I got a discount on the discounted service.…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 11:35 PM
1

I think I agree with your mom on this. Only because I went through the same thing and there isn’t anything you can do about it. Originally I was pissed off because I felt like she was one upping me and the kids “agreed.” Then I realized they just got to do something they liked 2x. Then it reminded me (very esoteric, or at least specific) of the line from the movie “Italian Job”, where when describing EdNorton’s bad guy character they said how he had “no imagination, so he just copied everyone el…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 11:23 PM
3

Read, you’re welcome. Just my .02$ though: You went into very detailed description of kids schedules. I kinda glazed over, as most will; it isn’t relevant enough to us to follow in detail. I took away that they’re busy, all 4 at all different times. You’re active with coaching and she has a support system for her minimal need for interaction. Now you seem engaged with and encouraging their schedules. When my ex did this to me, the kids didn’t want all the constant activities, I wanted what they …
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 05:30 PM
1

Basically you’re gonna have to do a cash out refi. So can you afford the new mortgage after giving her half of the cash out? The question about support payments depends on what they’ll be in your state. Talk to an attorney. Look up your states support calculators. In my state you can calculate based on incomes and time with kids. Get all your numbers and do a budget. If this seems complicated or if I’m being unclear, there are many variables. You can negotiate and get her to agree to whatever yo…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 02:11 PM
3

Oh man, I remember being you… I’m gonna be as direct as I can without letting you see the full picture; that would be way too much for you right now. Women on dating apps are trash. 90% of men will not get one like or conversation. There are more “bots” than actual real women and are only on there to encourage you to pay more for the “premium” service. The nurses, I mean women that are on there are ran through. Most of the teachers and flight attendants, I mean, women in there are using this app…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 12:28 PM
2

Stand and stay strong man. I wish you all the best in health and recovery. My own sister did this to her ex husband and a friend of mine who’s been caring for his ailing wife for 5 years just told me he had a stroke and now she wants a divorce because she can’t see having to care for him. It’s their true evil and your better than it
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 02:50 AM
1

This. Cops will simp too. And with the Duluth model in your state, you’re asking for them to jump to her defense.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 02:44 AM
2

One. Talk to a lawyer; that is always step one. To enhance this, PAY a few different attorneys for their time and have your finances, schedules and details weighed against the laws in your state. Two. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE AND DO BOT DISCUSS WITH HER. If you leave she can use that against you as abandonment. Talking to her only helps her prepare to take from you. Now to your question: how much does it cost per month? How much do you owe? How much is it worth? If you can prove you can pay for i…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 02:28 AM
6

Your first two words nailed it. It’s what it is, always has been and forever will be about
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 01:33 AM
13

Damn dude. Sorry for what you went through. Glad you’re safe on the other side now. You should be proud of yourself for seeing through the lies and making a decisive blow. That takes courage and strength. I hope it carries you far past that betrayal
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 01:31 AM
11

Your headline says it all
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 01:28 AM
2

20 years ago I broke up a fight I saw going down at 3 am in I parking lot across the street, a good 150 yards away. The only reason I jumped to it, with the help of my roommates, was because I could see one person go down and the other move in for the kill instead of back off. This wasn’t a scrap between friends. When we ran up we noticed it was a girl on the ground, maybe 21 ish and the guy got scared and backed off. When my roommate saw her on the ground and the guys bloody knuckles he got his…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/07/24 11:36 AM
13

I have kids. I’m not watching
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 11:27 AM
13

It’s always been that way. In fact, women were always promiscuous, probably during the marriage too. It comes down to options. I’m the “rare” or “odd” statistic where my life didn’t improve ( it isn’t bad, but certain areas don’t fit the narrative of gym, work, muscles, money and women) and hers has. Dramatically. The money she was hiding during the marriage with the help of her mother only increased after the divorce. She made significant raises, got ran through by many men, had multiple “relat…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 10:48 AM
3

Not mine. I’ve heard/seen it on some men’s forums and sites like entrepreneurs in cars and free agent lifestyle
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 10:09 PM
3

Some of the advice here is gold. Follow it. If you need a step 1 (aside from contacting a lawyer immediately) is to stop communicating with her. She is now the enemy, she has declared war and she is at least 4 steps ahead and using everything you say and do against you. Look up grey rock. And prepare. You’re about to be the defendant in a business lawsuit where you are way overmatched and she is supported by everyone. Remember it is business and by getting married you agreed to sign a horrible b…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 10:07 PM
6

This is one all men should really take heed to. “I’m bitchy” or “I tell it like it is.” This is usually offered early in the relationshit and a quick “cut bait” immediately. Ironically one of my gfs after my divorce was like this and threw a fit when I called her a bitch. Easy cut off then
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 08:21 PM
3

It’s almost too much to go back and think like that. Almost. That is unless you take the lesson and apply it to today. My ex was such a walking red flag looking back I should have never even initiated. The red flags at the end were screaming but by then they’ve used the investment stage to have you constantly off guard weighing the cost of leaving. It’s why everyone of us wishes we wouldn’t have wasted so much time getting the divorce going.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 08:18 PM
30

Nobody cares. Nobody is coming to save you. You’re on your own
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 11:46 PM
2

This is correct. Also the OP needs to pay a few different lawyers around town to get their advice. The use that advice to compare to what he’ll research on his own… Plan in secret. Tell her nothing. Prepare, prepare, prepare. You’re going to war with an enemy that has 3x your support network where she is believed first, she is protected and you’re gonna pay for it. Do some careful research. Not only is it a war with a more powerful enemy it is also a business negotiation and you need to remain i…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 02:29 AM
24

A story that’s echoed here daily and numerous times. I am so thankful for this sub as a place for men to discuss this plague on or society. Anywhere else in the internet you get attacked, s.i.g.n. Language, labeled weak, “nice guy”, your fault etc. Yet here we all are with the same story that we see being feed to women daily on ticktock, Instagram and Facebook. Thank you men here; those who share and those who support
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 06:39 PM
11

You’re not crazy. You’ve experienced what we all have. It’s evil, they’re evil and you need to follow the great advice here and treat her like the enemy she is. Go easy on yourself too. Soon you’ll realize it’s not all your fault and she had a very large hand in it. She cheated. She destroyed the family now fight back and win
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 12:48 AM
3

Damn brother that sucks. I remember those feelings too. I’m glad she has her kharma for you. Keep living your best!
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 08:12 PM
6

Terrence Popp on YT I think did a video on this years ago. There are certain years that are most common and 10/11 with two kids has been studied before as the most likely scenario. It was for me
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 08:10 PM
3

Unless you’re in a same sex and you’re a man, this isn’t a sub for you. There are others out there for you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 01:08 PM
4

I agree with these points. But, how is everyone so sure her world will implode? For his sake I really hope so. But I hear this so often as a statement of fact and I guess I just feel left out!
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 08:09 PM
8

And I’m no lawyer but I believe in some states it is a felony to intentionally infect someone. Not saying she meets that threshold, but if she knew, if she knows she cheated and can contact all the guys she’s slept with there might be enough to save some of this guys life in divorce court I.e. he can get full custody, the house, not lose his savings. Then just wait her out. And yes get tested. Again and again every three months. That’s what hospital and jail staff have to do
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 08:03 PM
2

Thanks. They are, anything is better than those days. Second job was my activity tonight.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 03:49 AM
2

I have no real advice beyond the cliche things you already know you’ll hear; gym, make friends, get hobbies etc. What I can say is I remember those days so vividly because of the pain. On nights when she took the kids ( she also had the house) I had literally nothing. No friends, no place to go, nobody to talk to. I would sit in my truck and drink myself till I passed out. Don’t do that. Might seem silly but you could try a second job. Something meaningless like sweeping up a store or brewing co…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 03:10 AM
8

Are her parents divorced? What’s her body count? This includes attitude toward sex And if all else fails DONT EVER GET MARRIED
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 12:48 AM
3

In my experience she would call whatever she wanted to do “vacation time” and cite whatever she wanted from the decree as fact. She did this knowing that “what are you gonna do?” She is so accustomed to lying and manipulating and people always believe her, certainly over me. But what are you gonna do was her response. Gonna open up another case in court over her taking the kids to a water park with her new boyfriend when it’s your week? Gonna call a lawyer when she drops them off with you on her…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 02:02 PM
2

Short answer is no, there is nothing you can say. My prior comment on a post was about how the true pain, what was really crushing about my divorce, was how stupid I felt for knowing before I got married what she is. And doing it anyway because of “hope” and manipulation. Your son is the product of her. I know he loves you, I know he hates what happened to you, in fact so much so that he isn’t going to “let” that happen to him ( in his own mind). So you’re here. I’ve thought so much about this e…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 01:31 PM
8

Me as well. We know, yet hope makes us think “she’s different.” For me that’s what hurt the most; I knew it
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 01:21 AM
16

It’s sad, terrifying and depressing to know that this story happens day in and day out. Women reveal who they really are and men get nothing. Terribly sorry, mate.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 01:11 AM
4

Social media revealed what women really are and it’s pretty sad.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 10:20 PM
2

Amen
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 04:32 PM
5

You have your answer. Get out and quick. I’d also get that paternity test and talk to a lawyer to see what your options are
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 11:03 PM
3

No! Get 1/2 of everything. Don’t “be a good guy, right thing, man up” or any other shaming language she’ll use. Now is your time! Now is your chance… HALF
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 12:51 AM
3

This!
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 12:49 AM
3

Never trust a woman
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 12:48 AM
2

Agreed
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 11:39 PM
1

She already has her plan and it includes you paying her to keep going on these trips while you have the kids and she can start “officially banging the guys she already is… and call it “co-parenting.” You must get out in front of this Edit: sorry, I meant OP… I’m not that savvy
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 10:32 PM
4

Personally I found quotes and cliches to be extremely frustrating and elementary when I was at my worst. I viewed them as “one size fits all, bumper sticker platitudes” that didn’t express the true details of my situation. But I was envious of those that took comfort or learned something new from them
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 09:47 PM
5

They use the therapist against you. Please don’t go that road. They have the divorce planned way before you know. It’s all part of their script. I don’t mean to be so pushy and I’ll stop now but I can bet at least one guy will back me up here
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 02:50 AM
2

Please stop talking to her. She is skilled in lies and manipulation and it will not help you. Record, record, record and don’t speak
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 02:47 AM
5

Terribly sorry for you, and yes this is the start of a very long, dark and painful road. But you have to hide that. You need to go cold stone straight business. Develop a plan of what your life is going to look like, tell nobody (except your lawyer) and execute. Do not engage with her. Do not show her any emotion or attention. Treat her as if she were 💩 on your shoe and you have a plan to save your shoes. Follow your vision of the future WITHOUT her in it and do not let her see any emotion. You’…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 02:43 AM
1

Well if it makes it more palatable for you maybe not all are doing that, but all can do that. And after what we as men, and fathers have gone through, it is not worth the gamble.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 02:37 AM
6

Just know that any and all women you’re dating at this age, and after a divorce are actively dating 3-10 other men and having sex with at least 2 of them. That is disrespectful to you (unless you’re aware and ok with it) so do not play their game of being in their rotation. Use and discard
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 03:41 PM
2

Me too, only not just women. Men too. Everyone couldn’t wait to cape for the “poor, controlled and abused” ex. Most have realized since and stopped talking to her but I’ll never forgive
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 03:17 PM
2

Thank you for that. I’m not the OP but I’m reading all of this because of the familiarity, and your advice for me so well. I needed that!
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 03:15 PM
3

Great points about using her honeymoon phase to push to get what’s legally yours
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 03:09 PM
6

I’m years out from what you wrote and remember it vividly. So sorry, I truly know what you’re going through. I could tell you what happens next, as can most guys who’ve been through it (they all follow the same script; thank social media for that), but it’s best you work through it and see it as it comes. Many are gonna give you advice, some ok some terrible. Do what’s right for you and stay focused on your kids. Good luck and if you have friends reach out to them if they want to help. Once she …
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 03:02 PM
8

I’ve lived #2. Can’t imagine if it resulted in #1. Either way she’s gone ASAP. Sad part is it’s 1 or 2 for all men
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 12:22 PM
3

Brifaults law
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 03:09 PM
5

Yes. There are many different 50/50 splits that don’t allow her to use you as the free babysitter. Part of divorce, and I might add the one part that no woman plans on, is that YOU get to control your life now and not everything is about her. All women have this idea when they dream up the divorce of how awesome it’s gonna be with you continuing to do everything she says while she gets ran through on your dime. The look on their faces the first time they hear no and are forced to not get their w…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 01:23 AM
5

Temporary? Sure has been “winter” for some of us for a really long time
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 09:17 PM
3

This advice isn’t always true. My ex is doing very well. She’s still sleeping around and making friends, makes tons of money, drops the kids to go travel and take up new hobbies. Her not failing and not seeing what an evil 304 she is, is a reality for many of us. These ideas about a god or karma aren’t for all of us. We do, and should, focus on ourselves
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 09:16 PM
3

AWALT
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 09:11 PM
2

She’ll be “autistic” by the new year, just in time to call OP “toxic, controlling and abusive.” It’ll be on her tickthot page where she “finger talks” in her car about her “truth” and “worth.” Gross
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 05:24 PM
5

If they’ve been through divorce, they SHOULD understand and be willing to help out, within reason. If never divorced or married expect them to close you out at best and most likely, side with her in her “time of need.” This includes family.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 03:57 PM
16

I’ll bet this was the first step in her getting there. First the card to show “no hard feelings! See? I must be good because we exchange Christmas cards!” Then comes the next year card with the guy so she can gaslight and claim you’re the one with the issue “all of a sudden.” I hate their games
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 03:48 PM
17

This is gold here 👆🏻 Make sure not to tip your hand at all. Every man I’ve ever spoke to about their divorce is shocked to find out how long she has been planning it behind your back and how ruthless and evil she is in planning your demise. If you have the opportunity to strike first, do it. And don’t look back, negotiate or play nice. It is a war and she is supported way more than you’ll ever be
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 03:41 PM
2

I’m sorry to hear that. But know, that there are resources like this sub for us and we can reach out to like minded men. Hang in there we all want the best for each other
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 03:37 PM
2

This👆🏻. I was in that scenario. I said no support because it was very small and wanted that win later in negotiations. Anything that broke her way she insisted. You’re fighting an enemy that wants to kill you
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 10:47 PM
2

Yes, thank you. I’ve been doing the best I can, but it’s been years now. Kids are almost grown, one is outta school and working. I need to come up with those new memories I can create with young men. It’s gotten way easier but I’ll always feel a bit like I failed them
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 10:21 PM
1

God bless, brother!
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 08:02 PM
6

I’m ashamed to say it’s been a long time for me and I’m still just as angry.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 02:28 AM
13

All good stuff! Your happiness, and she’s outta the picture! I know it must seem tough to lose the house, but you sold it. Imagine if she got it? And you got to drive up to it 3-4 times a week because your kid forgot his Xbox remote, etc. And having to watch other men walk your dog around the neighborhood while she plays on her phone. You are blessed friend!
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 02:26 AM
2

Yes! I went through the same and still have to deal with her, for the kids. Only I made the mistake around year 2 after divorce and all that “working on me bullshit” of writing her a letter, forgiving her and trying to bury the hatchet. She turned that around so fast into me “finally acknowledging” what I had “done to her” then made it about me apologizing to her and her deciding if she was going to “forgive” me. Never again. Now I just pray for her end
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 01:34 AM
1

This times a million. DO NOT EVER PLAY NICE!! If you have an opportunity to strike, take it!! She definitely will if it were reversed
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 01:28 AM
4

Underrated comment. In the real world, the amount of men who follow the herd: even those that think they’re unique, is a massive majority.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen17/11/23 11:00 PM
13

It’s absolutely amazing that they still keep appearing. Year after year they all keep waddling off the cc and right into “I’ve had my fun, time for YOU to treat me seriously.” No awareness. No change in script. Still thinking they’re unique.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/10/23 08:07 PM
2

I did something similar in my divorce. I made sure it was added she couldn’t leave my kids with her mother. She had a drug addict brother living there and I knew that was her planned babysitter while she went out 6ths a week during her custodial time. She still hates me for it and I needed that memory to feel better. I fought to protect my kids and she hates me for it
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 10:52 PM
1

Me too
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 10:46 PM
2

This reads like so many stories here. Men all going through the same thing. I’m glad that at least here were not called names, shamed and told that we’re “red pilled losers.”
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 10:45 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter