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Question For MenBrilliant-Block-8200/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:24 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,566 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
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And this is an excellent example of why no one should ever take the male loneliness epidemic seriously. You deserve it
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 12:27 AM
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So you wish to force women into essentially slavery? Very interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 12:14 AM
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This would definitely be a good start in the right direction. Hell, even just free childcare would do absolute wonders ngl
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 11:14 PM
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Then we better start actually looking into options to make motherhood more appealing. I guarantee you that if we had a way to assist parents so there was no risk of sleep deprivation or them losing freedom and their life prior to having children (having spare time and being able to have dates/trips together with their partner), more women would have kids Also more research to reduce the pain and lasting damage from birth (including body changes)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 09:39 PM
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Very true, I guess I’ve just been unlucky enough to speak to the people that don’t agree. Especially on here I’ve seen some men argue that because a woman also wants kids and because she knows what the risks are, husbands shouldn’t be required to do more while she’s pregnant and postpartum. I truly hope those men are the minority But yes, I do 100% agree with you that these are different topics (that I see overlap often). It should not be treated as a lifelong debt. That’s unfair
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 03:23 AM
1

It’s definitely not a scoreboard, but what about situations where the wife has permanent damage from the birth? Ideally, she should just do what she can without pushing her body more, right? That’s what seems fair to me since she is the only one that has to deal with that. I would also say the same if the husband somehow got a permanent injury or disability from his job or something
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 09:39 PM
1

No, I’m saying that BOTH parents should get parental leave. An equal amount. But ON TOP OF THAT, women should get medical leave for the time needed to recover from the birth since it is a major medical event. Why would anyone be opposed to this? It’s not about a ‘gender war’, but that only one person has to physically heal and they need additional time for that. Parental leave and medical leave (recovering from the birth) should be separate
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 05:43 PM
2

Would you say that the mother should get sick time for healing then on top of parental leave? Only the mother has to physically heal from the birth and it’s literally for medical reasons. Why should parental leave for the father also include time for physical healing? Was his body also permanently damaged and ripped apart?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 04:48 AM
1

Only works if kids aren’t involved. Or men also need to take 50% of pregnancy and birth and the permanent body damage that comes with it. 50/50 applies to EVERYTHING
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 04:45 AM
0

If a couple both want kids, how can that be 50/50? How can the husband do 50% of the pregnancy (and feeling sick half the time), do 50% of the birth and have half of the permanent body changes and damage that come with that? It’s inherently lopsided if the husband isn’t essentially a fulltime caregiver to the wife and baby during pregnancy and postpartum
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 04:44 AM
1

If a husband cheated on his wife and moved out to live with his mistress, but refused to file for divorce and his wife filed, who ended that marriage?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 04:38 AM
1

Honestly tho, why is pregnancy and birth NEVER considered in the 50/50 thing? It’s automatically unequal and just ignoring the fact that women are the only ones that have to endure pregnancy and birth and the damage that comes with that isn’t fair. It’s not equal
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 04:36 AM
3

This. I have two daughters and my husband and I let my parents watch them from time to time. My mom has literally ranted about how she doesn’t understand how my husband and I have time to do anything because you’re constantly expected nowadays to watch your kids 24/7. When I was a kid, my brother and I would go run around the neighborhood and do our own thing and no one thought twice about it. Parents are expected to do so much more now and with less help
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 04:03 PM
1

Ok, what does ‘opposing feminism’ mean to you? What is the ultimate outcome of it?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 05:42 PM
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I mean, that happens in every group, fam. Pick out 100 different republicans and they’ll ALL have different ideologies on what a republican is. Same with democrats. Hell, even grab 100 different men and ask them about what they think men’s rights should be and you’ll get 100 different answers. Feminism is no different from these. You just hate it because it has to do with women
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 03:00 PM
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Yeah, I don’t think it’s right for men to shame or be nasty to women if they aren’t compatible. But I also don’t think breaking things off is shaming someone, right? If the guy is being gross or calling you names, you dodged a bullet.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 12:27 AM
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Fam, I literally have only heard of men being dismissed by men FROM MEN THEMSELVES. I’ve had male victims tell me that they don’t feel safe confiding in OTHER MEN. I did not hear this from women, but from MEN. And it’s interesting, why don’t you see women as victims of the past as well? If you’re going to say that bad behavior is due to victims, then men and women are BOTH victims of the past. To argue that it’s ONLY men and women are this evil entity is ridiculous And in case you missed it in m…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 11:13 PM
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That doesn’t really address my point tho. If you have to lie, you aren’t compatible. You automatically aren’t right for each other. There is ZERO point to lying, or you’re just manipulating the person
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 10:54 PM
1

Why not have a clear and open conversation about it tho? Why are you against that if it can help clear out ANY possible misunderstanding?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 09:51 PM
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You should be open about what you’re looking for tho. You should be looking for a partner that’s looking for the SAME thing as you. It’s basic communication and decency. Now if she developed feelings later on, then she should have communicated
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 09:44 PM
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It wastes their time, but it ALSO causes a ton of pain and trauma when communication doesn’t happen. That’s why it’s always important that BOTH parties always have this discussion and are 100% honest. That’s my point I literally said in my comments that BOTH needed to be honest and open about their expectations at the beginning and throughout the relationship. The onus should not be on only one party. It’s on BOTH
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 09:14 PM
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I never said he wasted her time. But he could and should have been upfront about wanting purely casual just as she should have been upfront about wanting something serious. Genuinely, why do you think men shouldn’t be upfront about wanting something casual? Is it because it might hurt their chances of sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 08:50 PM
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I mean, it depends on how it started, right? If it started as a casual fling and that was openly communicated and the behaviors of both people remained the same, then sure. But if you suspect that someone has deeper feelings, sitting down with them and having a ‘what are we’ conversation can help prevent a lot of hurt. Sure, maybe he genuinely didn’t know. But imo most emotionally adjusted people can tell when someone deeply cares for them and is in love with them. Yeah, she should have said som…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 08:35 PM
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Both people should be open about how they’re feeling. This shouldn’t be controversial and is a big reason why there’s a lot of dating issues
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 08:31 PM
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It goes both ways tho. Why didn’t he say that he’s only looking for casual? It should have been a discussion from BOTH of them. Unless he’s neurodivergent, he definitely knew she had deeper feelings for him. If you notice that, you should bring it up if you’re a decent person
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 08:13 PM
1

Or people can stop hurting others 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 08:11 PM
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Ok, and what do you have to say to men that belittle and mock male survivors of SA and rape? Do they not need to be addressed just because they are men? Because this is VERY common for a man to be essentially humiliated by MEN if he says he was raped by a woman (especially if she was attractive)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 07:34 PM
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Honestly this. It reminds me of women who say that women need to lie about how many partners they’ve had. Like….why? If a man asks, you aren’t compatible and you move on. Why would you even want to be with someone like that?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 07:23 PM
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It’s not really a waste, but it can be incredibly damaging to one’s mental health if they’re getting attached and only come to learn that they basically mean nothing to their partner. That kinda of pain can genuinely traumatize some people due to the apparent betrayal and give them lifelong trust issues
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 07:22 PM
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I still don’t see how that’s fighting against feminism. It sounds like you have an issue with people (that refer to themselves as feminists) dismissing men’s issues. That’s valid and those people should be called out. Dismissing other people’s problems is not inherently ‘feminism’
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 07:12 PM
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Fam, everyone including feminists shouldn’t downplay the abuse men face. So we address that. That doesn’t require attacking feminism at its core unless that’s just a cover for you to the feminism. And also if it’s just feminism, why do I hear SO many men downplay male victims of abuse? When a man is raped by a woman, why is so many men’s responses shit like ‘good for you!’ Or ‘nice!’? Why are you not pushing back against that? It’s very strange that you are ONLY focusing on women here when men A…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 05:29 PM
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Do you believe that women need to lose rights? Yes or no?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 05:25 PM
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Yup, and honestly this shouldn’t even be a discussion. I’m not sure why anyone would disagree
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 07:39 PM
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And that’s wrong. If everything, down to the aftermaths of the crimes, are equal then the punishments also need to be equal
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 07:35 PM
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How so? A person (regardless of gender) should never use excessive force to retaliate. There is ABSOLUTELY NO reason to beyond just wanting to hurt that person and cause them harm Like genuine question, if a man much physically weaker than you hits you and you barely feel anything, why would you retaliate in a way that will injure or hurt them badly?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 06:37 PM
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There’s inherently more physical harm in specific situations tho, which is why I was saying that rape isn’t the same. So by your own logic here, additional harm comes with additional charges. This doesn’t mean men are discriminated against if they cause more injuries or harm. If they genuinely were getting harsher punishments despite causing no damage or injury, then you’d have a point
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 06:29 PM
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So let’s get this straight. Say a man rapes a woman so brutally that she is crippled for life. A woman rapes a man and he suffers no injuries. Both abusers should get punished. But one was worse than the other so it should get a worse punishment. That’s how it works. It’d be the same if you swapped the genders too If you get slapped but have no damage from it, is it the same as being slapped and having your jaw broken? Yes or no?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 06:21 PM
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…were you not aware that forcible penetration causes physical damage? So if it’s the same thing, then does a man’s penis usually tear and bleed too?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 06:15 PM
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So what about a situation where a stronger woman hits and seriously injures a weaker man? She should get the more serious punishment because she caused more harm. It’s not discrimination And it’s not inherent. You can choose whether to use full strength or not. Men are fully aware of their strength
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 05:43 PM
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Nope. I’m saying that PEOPLE who are physically stronger have a responsibility to control their strength as they can literally injure and kill people For example, a man hits a woman. And a woman hits a man. If they BOTH suffer the exact same level of injury, they should receive the same punishment regardless of gender. That’s not discrimination. If one ends up dead and the other is perfectly fine, that’s automatically not the same situation
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 05:39 PM
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Nope
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 05:37 PM
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This. Both situations are abusive and never acceptable. But one can literally kill or seriously injure a person. The outcomes are inherently different and has to be considered Also like…there are physically weak men out there and very powerful women. Even if you flip the genders, it still holds true. The stronger woman is responsible for her strength
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 05:34 PM
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The exact same crimes tho? For example, during a rape, do male victims also often suffer from internal or permanent physical injuries? This isn’t to say that women can’t rape men. Or that men can’t be traumatized. But I’m asking if it’s the EXACT same
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 05:29 PM
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They aren’t being discriminated against for merely being stronger. But in being stronger means you have a responsibility to control your strength. ‘With great power comes great responsibility’. That’s not discrimination
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 05:27 PM
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Well there’s a very good reason the law doesn’t work that way. But you’re free to feel this way
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 05:23 PM
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Would you say that a schizophrenic man killing someone while experiencing a psychotic break is the exact same as a man that kills someone for their money? There is a very good reason why there’s distinctions in the law
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 05:18 PM
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This is true, but watch them completely disregard this. I won’t be surprised if your comment gets twisted somehow
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 04:56 PM
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I’m confused too. Are men being forced to have sex with their exes? News to me. I don’t think he understand what the word ‘rape’ means 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 02:53 PM
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Do you have a link or study showing that men are being raped (forced into a sexual activity) after being divorced? Please share
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 02:52 PM
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Exactly this. Do they think that standing up for civil rights meant you didn’t face opposition? When my dad was a kid, his parents ended up getting kicked out of their apartment for having non white people over for dinner. They still stood up for it. That’s the whole point
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 02:49 PM
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Eh, there’s really no point to white lies tho and they can break trust if your partner ever finds out. The healthiest relationships are ones where both can be honest (and you can also be kind when honest). If you get upset for your partner telling the truth (assuming it’s not ‘brutal honesty), that’s a big sign of immaturity imo. If you cooked something badly, surely you’d want to know so you can improve?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 11:46 PM
1

But many women, including myself DO acknowledge that men face these things (and a good partner will support their husbands when they’re injured or struggling too, like taking on a majority of the chores so he can relax). So why can’t you just acknowledge that childbirth and pregnancy are hard on women to experience? That’s literally all we’re asking for and for extra help and support during that time. If you won’t do that, then don’t be surprised that women don’t want to have children 🤷‍♀️ Empat…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 03:25 PM
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No, I mean on a physical level. You have people that have very narrow views on what they find attractive, but I don’t think that’s most people. Most women I’ve spoken to about this have a very wide range of men they’d find attractive enough to date, and these men would fall in the average range (same as these women).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 06:40 PM
4

Genuinely why would you wish that someone’s standards were lower? Is it just because you’re interested in them?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 05:36 PM
2

I agree with this. If someone is ok with being single if they can’t get what they want, it’s no problem
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 05:35 PM
2

Just curious—would you say that people should ate those they aren’t attracted to? What good would come of that? It’ll result in a deadbedroom and resentful relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 05:02 PM
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Attraction is deeper than just physical appearance, but there has to be some base level attraction. Most average people will be attracted to other average people on some level
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 05:01 PM
0

Probably not. But if you were ok with remaining single instead of being with someone you don’t want, then it’s perfectly fine. What would the problem be?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 04:59 PM
2

That would help make things equitable, but not EQUAL. The woman isn’t just losing money, so a man just paying money isn’t inherently equal. There has to be an EQUAL physical burden if you want true 50/50. For example, if you could spare your wife from suffering pelvic floor prolapse and perineal tears, would you do that for your child? Yes or no (if it were possible)? If no, then you are literally aware that you are very lucky to never have to risk that to have a child. You never have to worry a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 05:46 PM
1

So when your wife was recovering from birth, you didn’t help at all? If she was in pain, you just shrugged because it’s natural? Very interesting and major lack of empathy
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 05:43 PM
2

So you want your wife to have to do ALL the physical work of creating the child and pushing it out (and all the changes and damage that come with that). How is that equal? If you both want the child, it should be 50/50, no? Or does that conveniently not apply here because you’ll never have to worry about going though it? Always so interesting how the men here claim to want 50/50, but conveniently not for children. Perfectly happy letting the wife take ALL the sickness, pain, and damage that come…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:35 PM
3

If you want kids, will you also be carrying part of the pregnancy and doing part of the birth?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:29 PM
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Hard to say. In my own circle the women who had never wanted children still do not want children. The one who did change her mind, changed it while in a relationship with her partner But my guess is that most women who do change their minds might be realizing that single life or childfree life isn’t for them. So it’s less likely to be settling and more them maturing and having a better understanding of what they want in life
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:26 PM
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Enjoying the act of sex itself also doesn’t necessarily mean wanting sex with anyone tho. A woman can genuinely enjoy sex because of how bonding it is and because it’s fun with your partner. Sex isn’t purely physical for most people. It’s complex and different from masturbation (not just because there’s another person). It’s often incredibly intimate, pleasurable, relaxing, and increases the bond between you and your partner. That’s not having sex for some ulterior motive
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:13 PM
8

Then that’s my bad for assuming that’s what you were insinuating. And is it actually rare? I can’t be one of the only women out there who actively enjoys sex and frequently seeks it out with my husband. The physical pleasure combined with the genuine connection together is something I’d imagine is pretty addicting to most people when they’re with the right partner
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:04 PM
16

This is what I addressed in my comment because I had a feeling this is what OP was getting at. Most men in relationships will experience genuine sexual desire from their partner. BUT genuine sexual desire does NOT necessarily mean kinky/painful/degrading sex acts. A woman loving relatively ‘vanilla’ sex can sexually desire her partner
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:44 PM
3

Every heterosexual woman that’s in love with their partner
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:42 PM
12

I think most men that have been in genuine relationships have. I’m sexually attracted to my husband and desire him constantly. However (adding this in because I have seen this point in this sub SO often) , I have seen so many men here equate kinky/painful sex acts with a woman sexually desiring a man. That’s not a good metric. For example, I have a high libido (husband and I have around the same drive) and am incredibly attracted to my husband but am not into painful or degrading sex acts, which…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:42 PM
13

If that’s the case tho, then why stay married and be miserable? OP makes a point that it’s ‘bad’ if a woman just focuses on her own happiness, but realistically, what should happen? If your partner is genuinely miserable staying married and it’s affecting their mental health, would you want them to stay? If so, why?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 02:42 PM
2

Ok. What kind of evidence or study could prove that? I’m genuinely asking How do you explain the men that do not fight for custody?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 02:10 PM
2

Genuine question—what kind of evidence or study would actually prove this to you? What specific proof are you looking for?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 01:43 PM
2

There was a decent study done in Massachusetts, I believe where it was found that MOST fathers who fought for custody were awarded it. Many don’t fight for it tho, which speaks volumes. I have this saved somewhere and will post it here when I find it Edit: https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths Sources are at the bottom
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 01:36 PM
4

Again, why do men struggle to merely acknowledge that women are the only ones that have to suffer the consequences of having a child? This isn’t some ‘brainwashing’ that you think it is. It’s a biological fact. I have 2 daughters, and my body isn’t the same as it was. I have some permanent damage that negatively affects my life and will for the rest of it. I’m very grateful and lucky to have a husband that understand this and does whatever he can to make things easier for me (because he’s actual…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 12:59 PM
1

Sexual violence?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:17 AM
2

Depends on the area. Where I grew up in, single mothers were ALWAYS being insulted and I’d literally never heard anyone make a comment about the father being absent. Just about how stupid the mother was. This is very different from the city I live in now, but some areas are like that
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:15 AM
3

Honestly it genuinely might be area dependent. I used to live in a very conservative area and that commenter’s insight is almost spot on for how fathers (even shitty ones) are seen. Anything wrong is ALWAYS the mother’s fault (I have seen numerous times where beaten wives were blamed by their families, and the the husband was still ‘a good man’) The area I’m in now is like a 180 and that would be nearly unheard of. So it really depends on where you live and the culture there. I used to live in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:13 AM
2

What about rates of sexual violence, including being forcibly penetrated against your will (resulting in injuries)?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:09 AM
9

It’s not just that tho. You have the luxury of NEVER having to go through pregnancy and birth. You can have a child just by ejaculating inside your partner. A woman’s body is the ONLY one that has to actually do the work to create the baby In case it needs to be said—no, I’m not saying that good husbands don’t help out or aren’t good fathers. But it is a fact that only a mother’s body has to go through the trauma of pregnancy and birth (which is a major medical event). It’s much easier to say yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 02:58 AM
7

Ok, but do men also not want children? I’m confused why a man wouldn’t want his wife to have time to recover from a major medical event or want to be a caretaker for her during this period. How is that not the bare minimum?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:48 PM
8

How is it not relevant? The time off is literally to heal and that’s why women need it. The only reason a man would need that time is if he is also healing or taking care of the newborn, correct? If you aren’t healing or at least being a caretaker, there’s not an equally valid reason for that time off. So again, do you believe that that’s what men would use that time for?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:42 PM
8

Why are you not addressing anything and moving the goal post? People have children for different reasons. Maybe they accidentally got pregnant and couldn’t get an abortion. Maybe they were assaulted. Maybe they agreed to have a child with their partner. That doesn’t change that it’s a sacrifice that only women have to endure. I’m not really sure why so many men seem to have trouble just acknowledging this. Why is it hard to just admit that women go through A LOT of pain, body changes, and often …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:31 PM
6

I didn’t compare it to a man being injured. I’m saying that the woman’s body is the one that does the ‘work’ so a couple can have a child, and that the woman’s body needs time to recover (same as someone who’s recovering from a major surgery). Having a baby is something most people are happy about, but during the weeks after birth, women need to heal and that’s what needs to be prioritized along with the newborn
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:21 PM
2

Is the man taking care of the wife during this period?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:04 PM
10

It is. Are you saying that means that women do not need to physically recover from it?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:03 PM
13

Is the extended parental leave including the healing period for the woman’s body postpartum? If so, doesn’t that make sense because it’s essentially medical leave? If a man was also recovering from a big medical condition, then he should of course get that time off too. At your work do men not get time off for those medical situations?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 02:08 PM
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Yeah, I agree with you there. Unfortunately, I think there are A LOT of women that have very low libidos or they lose attraction (things like letting resentment fester and not nipping it at the bud is pretty common due to bad communication skills on both sides), and then just expect their husbands to be ok with that
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:22 AM
3

But it doesn’t always mean you literally want to experience it tho. There are actually a lot of people that may read or view something sexually that they like *in theory* or in their imagination, but would never want to do it in real life for whatever reason (might be straight up unrealistic, might be actually painful in real life while you can picture it as pleasurable while just reading, etc.). It really depends on the person
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:13 AM
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I mostly agree with you except for your assumption that those women aren’t attracted to their husbands. I don’t think that’s always true. I think it’s just more that they have a different (lower) libido. There’s also the stress component. Personally, I prefer sex multiple times daily and my husband is very similar. But when stressed at a certain point, I cannot be intimate because it’s like my mind shuts down. I will not be mentally or emotionally present if we have sex, so that would essentiall…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:03 AM
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Fair enough! Definitely depends on the individual tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:53 AM
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Not all women have the exact same libido tho Some people naturally have low sex drives but are incredibly attracted to their partners. It’s like everyone’s ideal amount of sex varies. Some love once a week and some love 3x a day. Neither is ‘more attracted’ to their partner
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:52 AM
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I guess it depends. Personally, all my friends have had at least one longterm partner that just had super low sex drives after a while. It’s definitely not rare, tho I think the flip side happens more often
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:14 AM
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Same here. But tbf it genuinely depends on the baby. Both of my daughters were pretty easy. But I have some friends who are like walking zombies and who I’ve literally taken over and cared for their children so they could just have a night together. It really depends
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:11 AM
–

What happens during periods where sex is TEMPORARILY off the table for a bit (such as postpartum or menopause)? That doesn’t mean they’re incompatible
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:07 AM
–

Is it actually that high tho? My past partners and husband have been happy with either 1-2x daily or every other day. For a relatively high libido person, that seems pretty normal imo. How much sex were you assuming men would need to be satiated?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:05 AM
–

What determines frequency tho? A couple that both have a low libido could be perfectly happy with like twice a month. A high libido couple might only be happy with twice a day The important part is finding a partner with a similar libido as you. And if you’re wanting a committed longterm relationship, you also have to accept that there will be periods where sex wanes (postpartum, menopause, health issues, high stress, etc). Granted these should all be temporary. If nothing changes, then it becom…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:02 AM
–

I mean, people have different libidos and it can fluctuate. If you are in a relationship with someone with a low libido and you have a high one, you aren’t compatible and you shouldn’t pressure them into having sex. If you’re looking for a committed longterm relationship, you also need to be ready to accept and deal with periods where sex will be infrequent (postpartum and menopause for example). A partner with a low libido still desires their partner. It’s just about finding a compatible partne…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:59 AM
–

I mean, men with higher libidos should only pursue women with similar libidos, and not pressure a lower libido partner. Tho both genders need to be aware (if they’re seeking longterm committed relationships) that libido does often change due to things like kids and menopause or severe stress. If you cannot go a period of time sexless if something happens to your partner, you need to seek partners that see it the same way. Either way, it needs to be an honest conversation
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:56 AM
5

This. If it’s guaranteed to live longer while completely healthy mentally and physically and mobile, then sure. If not, no point in living longer imo
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 08:54 PM
2

Sexual doesn’t mean aromantic tho nor does it necessarily mean they are sex adverse
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:37 AM
5

It’s not even always about skill either. Anatomy plays a HUGE role in this, and for a lot of women who would like anal with a small partner, a larger partner would be unpleasant and painful
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:19 AM
1

Not saying I disagree with you, but this is a lot more common than you’d think. Not necessarily just talking about anal either. But I’ve had partners that either didn’t care to pay attention or didn’t mind that I was in pain during sex. And I don’t necessarily think it’s gendered either. My husband has told me how his first ex literally tore him once during sex and then got upset when he couldn’t keep going instead of checking in on him. There are A LOT of shitty and inconsiderate people out the…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:15 AM
5

And those men should be dumped and left behind. They don’t deserve to have a partner
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:12 AM
2

For point 2., are you talking about intimacy or specifically sex? Intimacy is a wide range of behaviors between a couple. Are you saying that research shows that hugs/kissing/having deep talks/just spending time together goes down overtime? Just clarifying because sex and intimacy are not the same thing
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 08:51 PM
1

That doesn’t answer my question, but thanks for contributing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 08:33 PM
1

Why tho? What’s the problem with women leaving or rejecting men that are incompatible?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 08:01 PM
1

Honestly this. I’m not exactly sure why OP has a problem with this? Does he want to be with someone that he’s incompatible with? It’s one thing to disagree about having pineapple on a pizza or not. It’s a whole other thing to support ICE and be against abortion. That directly comes down to important values
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:48 PM
1

Why not pursue people that you’re compatible with tho? If you lie, that’s the problem
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:46 PM
1

Genuine question—when you say that some women would drop their lifestyle just to keep you, are you also considering her happiness and satisfaction in the relationship? If dropping that to keep you caused her to be unhappy, would you still be ok with that? I’m asking because I can’t really understand how you can say you care about your partner and be ok with them being deeply unhappy just to stay with you
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:22 PM
3

What should happen then or what’s the solution that doesn’t involve trying to force or manipulate someone to change?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:19 PM
2

Genuinely, what traits and behaviors in women were you referring to (that are in the minority or taken)? It’s hard to say whether asking for a compromise is valid or not without knowing the specifics. If it’s something like compromising on staying in more vs going out, I’d say most reasonable people would compromise. If it’s something like wanting your partner to just be ok with being hurt during sex or doing it even when they aren’t enjoying it, that’s a lot more grey
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:18 PM
1

And those women are in the wrong and should absolutely not be shocked when the man doesn’t change. Trying to change someone is a shitty thing to do so I’m not sure why you’d want to be like women who act like that 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:15 PM
1

And women should keep rejecting and leaving men that aren’t compatible. No complaints, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:14 PM
5

What would you say the solution is for this then? Because trying to get women to change for a man and make herself unhappy isn’t good and hopefully no person would even want that If you’re incompatible with someone and you refuse to find someone else, you pretty much have to accept that it’ll likely result in resentment or one party being unhappy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:11 PM
2

A healthy person won’t change things they genuinely value or do things that will hurt them tho. And a healthy person wouldn’t want someone to change (in a way that either hurts them or makes them unhappy) unless they don’t care about that person. If it’s something small, you have a point and a good partner will work with you. But you should never try and actively pressure/manipulate/or guilt a partner into something.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:09 PM
11

Why do men try and argue that women aren’t actually lonely because a random man is always willing to use their body for sex? To a lot of men here, someone being willing to masturbate with your body means you aren’t lonely
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 07:07 PM
1

Honestly, porn shouldn’t be ‘punishable’ imo. BUT it is something that needs to be discussed truthfully to gauge compatibility. If someone tells you that porn is a boundary and they will not be in a relationship with someone who watches porn, there is no good reason to lie pr hide it just to be in a relationship with them. You’re incompatible. This ideally should be something discussed at the beginning of dating, but if not, then later on if a partner is uncomfortable with porn in a relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:00 PM
16

That’s still not a good excuse to lead someone on tho. If you have a partner that’s deeply in love with you and you don’t feel the same way, you really need to be honest with them. Manipulating someone just so you won’t be lonely is an awful thing to do
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:58 AM
21

But only women are the ones that have to actually deal with the consequences of pregnancy and birth. Usually a man’s body doesn’t go through crazy hormonal changes and permanent changes or damage. Biology is inherently unfair in this regard. Not men’s fault at all, but it should be acknowledged. Every women I know that’s had a child has some kind of permanent damage from it (something that negatively impacts their life significantly)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:41 AM
13

But why care about those people and give them any attention? If they try guilt tripping, they’re manipulative. They aren’t even worth a second thought, much less worth getting annoyed over.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:38 AM
2

I actually really like this take and it has a lot of nuance. I wish more people thought like this tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 05:48 PM
2

Posted this in another comment—https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/s/ELfvj5vLCe This is just the most recent one I’ve run into
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:05 PM
2

Damn. What if you had a shitty retail job?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:27 PM
2

Genuine question—but how would you enjoy the ‘sex’ if your partner was hurting the whole time and essentially begging for it to be over? Personally, I care about my partner and seeing him in pain is not a turn on. Healthy sex should be mutually enjoyable (even duty sex or at the very least neutral) Another question—if your partner got physically injured due to duty sex, you wouldn’t give a shit? That brings you pleasure and joy? A decent person would not get sexual pleasure from their partner no…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:23 PM
2

I guess, let me re-phrase, would you be ok with duty sex that involves you being penetrated? Because that is a very big difference in how it feels. Being penetrated is completely different from being the penetrator. If that was already what you were referring to, then never mind. I was going off the assumption that you were doing the penetrating As for sex being physical, that really depends on the person. Some people cannot separate love from sex at all without it feeling like a violation. Sex …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:16 PM
4

I’ll try and use this next time! Tho I’ll be honest that I have seen some men say that oral/anal penetration on a woman isn’t that bad because women are ‘made to be penetrated/used to it’, and I’ve also heard that women’s anuses are ‘made to handle it’. Probably no point arguing with them but it’s still disturbing
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:02 PM
4

I think it really depends on the person. With my husband, I’ve never felt like I’ve really loss any freedom. At worst, I’ve just had to start letting him know when I’m doing something so that he’s in the loop, but it’s never been limiting to either quickly text or tell him. Imo with the right partner, it’s not a loss at all. I *want* to spend my time with my partner as they help me ‘recharge’ and relax I’ve only experienced a loss a freedom when we had kids
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:57 PM
3

I agree with all you wrote here. The issue on your last point is that these men just argue ‘but men aren’t made to be penetrated so it’s different’. I wonder if they just enjoy harming women tbh. But it’s disturbing to know that so many men here genuinely believe that rape isn’t morally wrong or causes harm
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:52 PM
2

Then why have I specifically been told this by the men on here? They seem to 100% believe that all men think the same as they do, which is why I asked this. So they can see the truth
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:41 PM
8

Would you still be ok with duty sex if it resulted in constant pain and you get injured? I’m also wondering, would it not bother you that your partner is using your body and doesn’t care about how you’re feeling or that you’re getting hurt? I’m genuinely curious. I think if you’re a person that views sex as ‘just sex’ and something physical, that makes sense And I agree. But I’ve explicitly been told that men working a job is what’s equivalent to a woman being raped. That’s why I asked
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:39 PM
0

Then why are there men here that are saying that men do not get hurt by sexual assault and instead are incredibly traumatized by work?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:35 PM
4

I’m sorry and I understand that and that’s kind of the point I’m trying to make. So why are so many men here saying that men feel nothing from sexual assault and that having to work for a living is traumatizing? That’s why I’m asking and trying to understand Are they lying?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:33 PM
1

Theoretically, let’s say the rapist left money afterwards. Are they now the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:30 PM
-2

I guess I should ask which you consider to be worse to have gone through This was a terrible question to ask, which proves my point that work isn’t comparable. So why are the men in this sub saying that sexual assault and rape doesn’t hurt or traumatize men and that men having to work for a living is what’s truly traumatizing?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:30 PM
11

I can’t speak for other women. Some women are toxic and will abandon or throw their partner’s vulnerabilities back at them. But personally, my partner being genuinely vulnerable is attractive to me. It makes me feel more connected to him on a deeper level. And no, it doesn’t make me less sexually attracted to him. It makes me feel MORE COMFORTABLE to be intimate and vulnerable with him. I’ve never thrown anything back at his face. I’ve never bullied him for breaking down or when he feels ‘weak’.…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 10:48 PM
0

Do you see sex as something two people enjoy together? I’m genuinely asking In a case where a couple is sexually incompatible, then sure I 100% agree they should breakup. It’s a massive incompatibility if you don’t have relatively similar libidos. But the way some men here phrase it, it’s as if sex is something only for them. Something they want women to endure instead of enjoy with them. As in they are essentially just wanting their partner to be a tool for them to masturbate with. If it’s genu…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 05:45 PM
8

Very telling that you refuse to answer my question. Guess that goes to show how you see that sex is essentially just you using a female body to masturbate. Quite interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 02:25 PM
5

Try reading my comment again
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 02:06 PM
6

No one is forcing you to be married. You can stay single and do casual sex. You can pursue open relationships. Poly relationships. If you choose to get married, that’s YOUR choice. You have options if all you care about is sex Not being able to attract women does not give you the right to rape them
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 01:59 PM
0

I mean, obviously there are going to be outliers. In general religious people believe women should submit to their husbands. I grew up in a religious area and this view was EXTREMELY common. If you don’t follow that, then you aren’t who I’m talking about. But it’s not uncommon for conservative and religious women to promote shit like ‘duty sex’. In general conservative women are pretty anti-women. Like, let me ask, are you anti-abortion?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 01:43 PM
8

You didn’t answer my question—how would you enjoy sex if your partner was obviously distressed and not enjoying it? You’re admitting that you’re fine with raping your partner if you wouldn’t be punished for it?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 01:40 PM
13

Go for it. But if you’re trying to force women to have sex when they say no, that is wrong. It’s rape, and hopefully you can understand how that’s harmful. Like genuinely, if your partner wasn’t enjoying sex, you wouldn’t stop and check on them? How would you even still enjoy it if they’re dissociating or crying or begging you to stop?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 01:31 PM
9

Then you’re free to pursue conservative or religious women that also believe that
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 01:21 PM
7

Yeah in my experience, whenever I’ve caved and let the man pay, it was always for your second reason. The pushing for sex almost always happened afterwards. It’s why I always went dutch no matter what when I was dating after a while
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 10:36 PM
5

This. It’s essentially a german shepherd being more dangerous than something like a chihuahua. Both dogs can be aggressive, but one is much more likely to cause severe harm and potentially kill someone. One is a lot more dangerous than the other even if it’s unfair. Biology is unfair, which we see with how women are the only ones who actually have to deal with pregnancy and birth
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 10:33 PM
4

Yeah, this is my experience too. Some women genuinely believe they would be able to physically fight and stand up to a man when generally it’s not possible. They’re honestly delulu and will end up in serious danger
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 10:31 PM
1

Ah, ok. To be completely honest, your situation is very out of reach for most people. And you seem to be wayyyy above what an average person makes. In a situation like yours where you’re pretty wealthy, it’s a lot easier than for an average person to do this sort of relationship. Neither of you is really working long and hard hours just to make sure the bills are covered and neither of you need to spend time doing chores For an average person, this arrangement isn’t likely to work because they d…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:52 PM
1

Can I ask how the relationship balances out? If one partner is working and paying for everything, what does the other partner take up so that all responsibility doesn’t fall onto one person? That can build resentment fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:51 PM
2

Not necessarily outliers. For example, TMJ is a lot more common than you’d think and it makes opening your jaw wide very painful and can cause it to literally lock up. Not going deeper or all the way doesn’t necessarily equate to laziness, like you were saying. And this kinda goes to show that it’s not just about enthusiasm. You’re proving the other commenter right that it’s about wanting sex acts a certain way. If it’s just about enthusiasm and about both enjoying it, then a woman performing or…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 03:38 AM
2

Does this go for men too? If your woman wants to try pegging, you owe it to her at least once
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 04:29 PM
3

What about women that genuinely can’t open their mouths wide enough tho? How are they being lazy? Personally, my jaw cannot open very wide, so most bjs tend to be focused on licking or sucking the tip and using hands. Because a penis of average girth can barely fit in between my teeth. If there’s genuinely enjoyment and enthusiasm, why would that be bad or not enough? I genuinely enjoy giving. But due to how my jaw size and limited movement, I can really only focus on sucking the tip and licking…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 04:10 PM
9

Genuinely, naivety can play a huge role in this. O have several friends who used to hookup with men pretty quickly (when we were younger). And they got burned. They trusted too quickly and learned they shouldn’t do that and that’s why they vet better. It wasn’t because those men were more attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 05:55 AM
3

Genuinely what if it’s an anatomy or size thing? I’ve had an ex who was larger and I literally could not open my mouth wide enough to perform a typical bj. It literally could not fit (sex was also painful and extremely limited, but that’s another thing). However my current partner fits perfectly and I can do so. How does this reflect attractiveness?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 05:53 AM
3

What if she didn’t enjoy it before when she tried it?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 05:50 AM
4

Are you equating enthusiasm with being ‘kinky’ or adventurous? Because that’s already a problem as those aren’t equal. What about women who genuinely love ‘normal’ sex and are very enthusiastic and passionate but dislike ‘kinky’ sex? They aren’t lacking enthusiasm or attraction here
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 05:49 AM
6

The thing is, what about women who are enthusiastic and love sex, but aren’t into anything ‘kinky’ and have NEVER done it or tried it once and hated it? Liking sex and being sex positive doesn’t always equal enjoying and being into ‘kinky’ or more adventurous sex Basic passionate sex can be mind blowing. If not, you need to just find a partner that’s sexually compatible with you
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 05:44 AM
2

I agree with this if it’s something relatively mild. It’s when it gets more extreme (like BDSM), that I don’t think people should throw around the whole ‘you should just do it for your partner’ thing
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 08:07 PM
3

Fair enough. You’re definitely not the kind of man I’m talking about. Unfortunately, I have run into some where the degrading aspect was what was appealing to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 08:06 PM
2

I personally don’t believe it is. I have however heard this from men I know on why they like it. They’ve described it as something like ‘putting her in her place?’ or like they own her I don’t see it that way tbh, and I don’t have a problem with it if the man doesn’t view it that way either. But if he did, that’s what would be offputting. It’s why kinks need to be fully discussed and both parties need to be honest
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 08:05 PM
5

What’s the reasoning behind wanting to do it tho? If it’s anything to do with degradation, that kinda goes with discomfort unless she’s into that On the flip, would you let a partner squirt on your face?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 06:37 PM
1

Gotchu. See, imo that kinda shit is pretty tame and normal and something most couples can reasonably do for their partner
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 02:40 PM
8

Yup, most of the time it’s this. And it’s like…you guys know that’s just a tiny part of what actual kinks are out there, right? I think a lot of the men that are into those things are just sadists, not necessarily doms
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 02:38 PM
3

What if it’s something that genuinely is painful for them? Let’s take anal, for example. If she tries with you, and as you try and put it in, it hurts her and she wants to stop. Would you be happy with that? If so, what was the point of that other than to hurt her?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 02:26 PM
3

Does kinky sex involve kinks like pegging, men being on the receiving side of BDSM, etc.? Or are you only referring to ‘kinky’ meaning acts that are often painful for women (anal, being on the receiving end of BDSM, etc)?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 02:24 PM
6

I agree it’s not easy. There’s a lot of things that need to be compatible in order to have a healthy relationship But my point was, do you think men should pressure women to do acts that they hate or are painful for them, or that it’s ok, because it’s hard to find a sexually compatible partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 02:22 PM
7

I mean, this shouldn’t be an excuse to pressure a woman to do sex acts she hates, right? How would a decent person even be able to enjoy it if their partner isn’t having a good time too and is actively hating it? Genuinely, what’s the alternative if not finding a compatible partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 02:19 PM
8

This works in theory, but the problem is that a lot of ‘kinks’ men are into involve women being either hurt or very uncomfortable (not just mild). Things like anal and BDSM are things that women are usually expected to be on the receiving end of and if they aren’t into it, that’s the problem. As you’re wanting them to literally be in pain for you If it’s something milder like a foot fetish, then I agree that your partner should at least do what they can. But if it’s anything involving your partn…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 02:16 PM
8

If it’s just about enjoying kink tho, then why is it almost always acts that are uncomfortable or painful for the woman? Do you also consider ‘kinky’ sex to include being pegged, you being tied up or hit, you being spit on, you being the ‘sub’ in BDSM, etc? If not, why?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 02:12 PM
8

Submissive isn’t the same as masochistic tho. They are different things. A lot of guys seem to think it’s the same. Women can enjoy being more submissive but not enjoy being hurt or rougher sex
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 02:24 PM
3

It really just depends on the woman tbh since women aren’t a monolith. Some women like it, some hate it, and some are ok with it
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 02:22 PM
1

True, but because your post didn’t specify, would non sexual affection be allowed in B? Because you only specify it as ‘no sex’
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 09:53 PM
3

Do you have specific examples? I frequent quite a few women’s subs and I’ve occasionally seen ‘men are trash’ or ‘i hate men’, but that’s it and I think we can all agree that’s unhelpful and hateful
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 09:51 PM
2

If that’s how you want to take it 🤷‍♀️ Personally, I believe all people should be treated with caution since we can’t tell the bad ones immediately. Better safe than sorry and I would never blame another person for being cautious of me
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 09:50 PM
1

Does B have the option for romantic feelings and non sexual affection? Either way, I choose B. But I’m curious because the post is only talking about sexual and platonic feelings, not romantic. Can you hug them? Cuddle? Be affectionate? Cuddling and kissing isn’t sexual
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 09:14 PM
1

They are inherently different tho. If the distinction doesn’t matter to you, then cool. But there is a difference which you’ve written out. One kicked a puppy because that makes them happy and how they have fun. The other kicked one due to an emotional outburst. Are either good? Nope. But they are actions with different motives and reasons behind them. You not caring about nuance doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 08:27 PM
1

The why behind things is always important. Would you say that someone who kicked a puppy by accident vs someone who kicks a puppy for fun and wants to hurt it are the exact same and will be viewed the same way?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 08:22 PM
1

But my point is that men that believe those things or follow Tate are a minority that social media presents like some large scale problem. If you go out in the real world, most healthy people don’t think like that. It’s like the whole gender war thing. Social media presents it like no one is able to date except for like models and influencers. But go outside and you can very clearly see that’s not reality. People are outside, on dates. You see young couples out
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 08:21 PM
–

That doesn’t justify manipulating someone and lying to them
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 08:09 PM
–

Women that only value men for those things are a part of the problem. There are genuinely good men and women that aren’t so artificial and who actually care about people. It’s never ‘justified’ to reduce someone to an object So again, if you want a transactional relationship and sex, why not pursue a relationship with a woman that also wants that?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:37 PM
–

I think men like that genuinely do see women as a sort of ‘sex vending machine’. It’s fucking disgusting
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:59 PM
9

Yes and I’m asking for clarification as it’s intentionally vague
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:42 PM
–

When I was dating, a big issue was sex. I need a strong emotional connection in order to feel safe enough to desire sex. Most men I dated either only wanted casual sex (so not actually date me or saw me as a human being) or got really pushy for sex even tho we’ve only known each other for barely a month. The number of men that actually respected that and wanted to spend time together besides just sex, I can count on one hand. It’s a big reason why I’ve only been with two men. And no, I’m not ase…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:41 PM
–

If you see sex this way, you need to just pursue transactional relationships. Decent men don’t enjoy sex acts that their partner isn’t enjoying. Pulling out a chair is nowhere near the same effort as a blowjob. Eating a woman out is the equivalent
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:37 PM
13

Genuinely curious, but what are we considering ‘hate’ here? Are we talking about people just making generalizations? Or people actively being like ‘kill all men’ or ‘I hate men’? Would you consider women who are more cautious around men as ‘hating men’?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:28 PM
7

The women who hate all men for what bad men do are no better. So that’s not really a good example as both are lacking nuance But I do wonder what you mean when you say women hate all men? If you mean genuine hatred, I agree. If you get upset that women practice more caution when out, that’s not hating men
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:26 PM
4

Justified? Not sure. But honestly, if men hate women, they should just do what women are doing with 4B. Just create communities of men only and leave women alone. That should make them happy, right? Now if they’re hateful and still want to date or be with women, that’s a massive issue
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:23 PM
–

But a tiny minority? Not really. 20% is pretty significant compared to something like 1%
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:21 PM
3

Because social media isn’t real life. There are numerous studies showing that always being behind a screen is detrimental and they are free for you to search and read. There’s even youtube videos that cover these if you don’t feel like reading If you’re only finding these sorts of opinions online, think critically for two seconds on why that may be
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:59 PM
3

Because it’s a big disconnect from the real world outside of social media? If you believe that social media is representative of most average people, that’s the problem
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:56 PM
2

This too. I think that there’s a big disconnect between how people are in person vs online. If you go out in real life, you don’t really see the whole gender war thing. You see people dating and couples all the time. Meanwhile social media would have you believe that no average or below average person can date. It’s a massive disconnect
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:51 PM
4

It’s not that it doesn’t matter at all. Just that if that’s the only place you’re seeing this, that’s the problem. Making provacative content is literally how people try and get views
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:38 PM
–

I mean, there are literally studies that suggest that at least 1/5 women will experience rape or attempted rape in her lifetime. If you’re looking for studies that are only concerning rape and sexual assault when women are dating, that will have to be self-reported information. Or what kind of methodology are you looking for? Like genuinely curious, do you believe that only a tiny minority of women have experienced any of what I’ve commented above? Have you asked any close female friends on thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:37 PM
–

That’s fair and you aren’t really among the men that women are talking about if you do all that. The thing is that a lot of men DONT even do what you mentioned. All of my friends at some point have literally been injured during sex and I haven’t really heard of many men experiencing that. Is this something you’ve run into? And again, I’m not saying men shouldn’t enjoy sex or that they can’t experience bad sex. They definitely can. But can you at least agree that there’s a difference between not …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:28 PM
–

I do and I believe men can be raped and sexually assaulted by women. But what are you meaning by ‘bad’ here? Because there’s a big difference between bad meaning boring or not orgasming and bad meaning you weren’t respected or are physically in pain from. From my male friend’s experiences, what they consider to be ‘bad sex’ is pretty different from my female friends, and I mean that most of them haven’t experienced a physical injury or pain from sex. Granted this is only based on my own social c…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:15 PM
–

What do you consider rape to be? If you’re just thinking it’s someone jumping out from an alley and grabbing a woman, then yeah. That’s unrealistic. But what about having sex with a woman that’s passed out from drinking? Or a date ignoring when you say no? Or getting really pushy and not respecting the no? Or consenting to sex but telling them to stop and they don’t? These are way more common than you’d think
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:12 PM
–

If a woman has experienced sexual assault before, of course she’s going to be impacted by it and worry about it more. It’s happened to me and several of my close friends. It’s not some extreme rarity. Just as car crashes aren’t an extreme rarity
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:08 PM
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Maybe, but for at least half of them I’ve literally had to go be support when something bad happened, so I know it’s not just made up stories. First time sex rarely goes amazingly, but that’s also mot really what women here (and my own friend group) mean. Being awkward or figuring each other out is very different than having a guy try and put it in without any kind of foreplay (this isn’t uncommon unfortunately) and then being annoyed at being asked, or having rougher things sprung on you withou…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:05 PM
–

Personally, I haven’t. But all of my friends have and most of them have done it frequently. *All* of them have experienced men like this in some form (and no, they weren’t ‘chads’ like some men here would think). And running into shit like this is why most of them no longer will have sex outside a committed relationship. And before someone asks, it’s precisely the ‘most men aren’t like this!’ thought that had them keep trying casual even when things went south. Unfortunately men treating casual …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:54 PM
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This. Also when men have made it clear that they’re more than willing to fuck women they’re not attracted to just to get their nut off, that shows that they don’t respect those women. I’d argue that most women would not have sex with men if those men were honest about not being attracted to them. That doesn’t even count as ‘dating’ imo. If those men were genuinely interested in dating (not just casual sex, which is often just essentially masturbating with another person’s body), then OP would ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:29 PM
5

Why is this always the default response? You guys really support war this much? Drafts shouldn’t be a thing, not even for men. It’s immoral. But if you want to go there, how about men doing 50/50 of pregnancy and childbirth? Or are you going so say ‘but biology’ and turn your head the other way? It’s always interesting that ‘equality’ to these men always seems to conveniently leave out pregnancy and childbirth.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:36 PM
10

When you’ve heard these kinds of responses, have they mostly been from women you know in real life or social media? Because if it’s the latter, you have to take into account that many people literally will make provocative content to get engagement, and that’s not including people who are ranting (not being rational) because they are angry in the moment. There’s A LOT of nuance here
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:31 PM
3

If the male only spaces are genuinely about creating spaces for men to be safe or if men are genuinely fearful, there’s no issue and I imagine most women would have no problem with that. If it’s just wanting male only spaces to be able to openly talk about things (locker room talk about women), then yes that’s a problem. And yes, there’s a difference. The gendered spaces are supposed to be about legitimate safety
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:26 PM
7

Yeah, this is something I agree with. You shouldn’t have to ID yourself in that situation if you’re not doing anything wrong, that’s fucked. My husband has also experienced the same thing unfortunately (we’re different races and the kids look more like me which makes it worse cause people are extra nosy) I think men do face discrimination, just in a different way than women do, like you said.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:24 PM
6

I’m really curious how often feminism comes up in your daily/weekly conversations (in ‘real life’, not social media)? Because in my circles, with women who do call themselves feminists, it very rarely comes up. Much less misandry. But then again, they aren’t radical, so maybe that’s the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:21 PM
10

Honestly, I don’t really have much of a reaction? Just like okay 😂 Dating and being in a heathy relationship does require work, so as long as you’re chill with being single, no hate here!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:28 AM
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So just to clarify, are you saying that only things you personally find fun are what is *objectively* fun? Not entirely sure why you’re being hostile, but 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:04 PM
–

What does ‘wet blanket’ mean in your comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:58 PM
–

But then why make it seem like people are ‘boring’ if they aren’t a party person? That’s just strangely judgy. Someone’s not ‘boring’ for liking different things, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:56 PM
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Tbh people like different things. That doesn’t make one or the other objectively ‘boring’. I like clubbing and partying too, but staying in and having a 12 hour LOTR marathon is fun as hell too
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:50 PM
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Ig, but I was seeing it more as a difference in how they’d like to spend time together. If your partner frequently wants to go out and you want to stay in and watch movies together, that’s going to require a lot of compromise where neither party will be fully happy. I think it’s just a matter of compatibility
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:49 PM
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I mean, tbh I wouldn’t think I’d be compatible with man that *didn’t* enjoy going out to club/party sometimes. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad or lesser person. We just wouldn’t be a good match and I imagine that it’s the same the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:16 PM
6

Exactly this. I’ve never understood men who push to not wear a condom if they don’t want kids. Sure, it’s not 100% effective, but it does have a high effectiveness rate. If you don’t want kids, there is ZERO reason to not wear a condom. If a woman pressures you, you decline sex. But honestly, contraception is a two way street. BOTH parties have to do their part. Just because a woman is on bc, that’s not a good reason to avoid condoms and avoid doing your part
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 03:14 PM
9

That’s not equality. Does the man also have to go through all the hormonal changes and pain that comes from an abortion? Conveniently that just gets left out. True equality would be men experiencing 50% of what women experience with pregnancy, abortion, and birth
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 03:13 PM
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Was she pressured into it beforehand?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 12:45 AM
2

Sure, I can understand that. Has she ever elaborated on that tho? Is it a new aversion? Did she previously feel pressured? There’s almost always a ‘why’ involved and that ‘why’ is pretty important. If it’s truly that she just got lazy and doesn’t mind doing it, then I admit it’s a bit odd and I would feel like something is wrong as well
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 07:08 PM
7

Exactly! It comes across like they don’t care about their partner’s wellbeing and boundaries. Most things aren’t a boundary for no reason. My rebuttal is always, ‘how are you even able to enjoy the act if you know your partner is just gritting their teeth and praying for it to be over?’ No one’s ever responded to that and I think it speaks volumes. A decent person shouldn’t be able to enjoy sex knowing their partner isn’t also enjoying themselves Because let’s be honest—most sex acts these men l…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 05:39 PM
6

Honestly, I just wonder if they are talking about just doing acts that they are neutral or don’t have strong feelings about for their partner? If so, that makes sense and I think most people do that to pleasure their partner. But there’s a massive difference between doing something you’re meh about vs doing something that you actively dislike and are uncomfortable with (a boundary)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 05:29 PM
1

Well adjusted and emotionally mature men will not want or enjoy sex with a partner that’s not enjoying it or is uncomfortable/in pain. Decent people will want their partner to enjoy sex as well
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 05:26 PM
3

Except that not always the case. I also agree with that commenter and I’ve only had sex with 2 partners (both committed relationships). Comparison IS the thief of joy
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 05:24 PM
10

Yup, exactly! I think a lot of men (not all) consider ‘kinky’ to be a pretty limited number of things, mostly things done to women or where women are uncomfortable/in pain. Genuinely how many men are talking about being pegged, being tied up, being on the receiving side of impact play, or being the ‘pet’ in petplay, when they talk about wanting ‘kinky’ sex? It seems like most on here are just referring to relatively mainstream porn things. It’s like they consider only rougher sex and BDSM to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 04:51 PM
9

Even if it’s something potentially painful for him? Most men I know would likely not be okay with getting pegged (at least it’s not that common from what I hear from my kinkier friends), for example
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 04:01 PM
6

My husband is the only partner that I consistently have sex 2-3x a day with. He’s also the only one I’ve ever given oral to precisely because he understands my limits and has always been respectful. Same with cosplay and some other light kinks, but I think that’s just because we’re both into it. Neither of us are into violence or excessive roughness He’s made it clear that he gets literally zero enjoyment if I don’t like something. As in, there were times I’ve tried things that seemed interestin…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 03:58 PM
5

This isn’t the same for everyone and is also dependent on size. Some people can spend months preparing and still find it painful. Some people are into it and some aren’t
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 03:54 PM
10

The thing is, depending on size it can still hurt even with prep And most of the time they will still have to be slow and incredibly gentle the whole time. You can’t usually just thrust like it’s a vagina or you can literally hurt your partner. It’s going to be nothing like porn
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 03:53 PM
22

Honestly, I’ve only had sex within committed relationships with men that were respectful. But I have unfortunately heard from my friends how bad casual sex usually is. One commenter already talked about how blowjobs are expected but men won’t reciprocate or bother to help them finish, so I won’t go there Another BIG and common issue my friends had faced was having that violent porn shit sprung on them with ZERO talk about it beforehand. Every single friend of mine has at point point experienced …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 02:56 PM
13

There’s always outliers, but most people seem to have at least some options. Whether they’re interested in those options or not isn’t really relevant
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 10:14 PM
4

This is true, but part of being in a long term relationship is commitment through the difficult times, is it not? Say you have a child and your wife has a difficult recovery postpartum and can’t have sex for almost a year due to healing. If you leave or cheat, you’re objectively being a bad partner since there’s no real commitment there. Unless, you’re not referring to a committed monogamous relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:59 PM
6

How edgy. But genuinely why would you purposefully pursue monogamous women just to cheat and traumatize them? Libido will ebb and flow in a long term relationship and that’s normal. If you can’t handle that, you aren’t built for monogamous relationships. It’s ok to recognize that
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:51 PM
8

You realize libido can change over your life and has little to do with attraction, right? For many people, sex is the last thing on their mind when stressed or exhausted. That doesn’t mean they aren’t attracted to their partner or that they lied about their libido
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:50 PM
6

I mean, would you enjoy sex if your spouse was exhausted and just laid there? Sometimes the exhaustion really is that bad, especially during the baby phase. There have been a lot of times where I wanted to be intimate with my husband, but I have zero energy so he will have to do ‘the work’ (luckily he doesn’t mind and I do the ‘work’ when he’s tired). As long as you don’t consider that as ‘bad sex’, then sure. But so many men seem to have an issue with that
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:46 PM
4

Then you need to pursue poly/open relationships or stay single
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:43 PM
1

Where did I say it was a common occurrence? Personally, for us it’s rare to get to that point. It’s happened to me when I had a bad complication postpartum. My husband went through a short period of heavy stress when he was unexpectedly laid off. In those situations sex does NOT help. During the time my husband got laid off, he literally only wanted to cuddle and wanted affection to help his anxiety so he wouldn’t spiral. Me pushing for sex would have just put pressure on him that would’ve made …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:43 PM
2

Again, do you believe that it works the exact same for everyone?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:35 PM
1

Would you say that a duty of a good husband is also to please his wife on command even if it wasn’t reciprocated (you going down on her and that’s it)? What if you were sick or injured? It doesn’t matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:35 PM
4

I’ve already addressed this. Neither my husband nor I are naturally loud during sex. We also always have the tv or music going anyways (we did this before kids so not much changed). I mean, kids will grow up at a certain point. When you were a teenager did you really think your parents weren’t intimate with each other? At some point when they’re older, you do realize you have to teach them about sex, right? A young child, won’t realize what’s going on. You really think a 5 year old will try open…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:32 PM
3

If that’s how you want to view this, then sure. But this is just coming off like you’re purposefully being obtuse. For example, we don’t have family living with us anymore, but they are nearby (within 5 mins). So in the mornings, we typically have sex whenever we want because the kids are asleep, and we keep the doors locked. Yeah, sometimes the kids will knock if they need something, but it’s pretty rare. Then again at night we’ll usually have sex again. This isn’t some ‘scheduled’ thing for us…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:23 PM
5

Why the fuck can’t you hold hands or kiss in front of your family?? You have to be trolling 😂 Even growing up most adult couples were always affectionate with each other. Non sexual affection isn’t going to traumatize children Maybe to you. Like lemme ask, you work, right? You can’t just have your partner come over and fuck while you’re on the job, right? You’re literally on some sort of schedule when you can have sex. You sound pretty young because your responses are so narrow minded and lack n…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:18 PM
2

So you believe that ALL people have the exact same libido as you do? Why do you assume that your way of thinking is the only right way?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:15 PM
1

This doesn’t apply to everyone fam. I’m someone with a high libido and prefer to have sex 3-5 times a day. My husband is very similar. However, when heavy stress comes up, I get panic attacks. Sex can NOT help with that. When my husband get put under heavy pressure, he tends to get really into his head to the point where his anxiety takes over. So no, having sex for all situations does not help. What helps in these situations is just affection. And then once we’re calm, sex is much more likely t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:15 PM
6

You do realize that family can take kids out, right? You also realize that couples can take vacations away, right…? And I guess this just depends on the couple. My husband and I aren’t people that naturally scream during sex, but if you are then yeah, I can see how that might be an issue. But for us, sex has never been on a schedule and we don’t really have to stress about keeping quiet. Only thing we really changed is where we have sex, but that’s not a massive sacrifice
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:11 PM
0

Then be upfront about it and there’s no issue 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:06 PM
0

Genuinely, how would you even be able to enjoy sex if your partner was gritting their teeth or crying, waiting for it to be over? Hopefully you’d only want sex that both of you enjoy. Otherwise, how is it any different from treating your partner as a toy for you to get off with? Having sex when they aren’t into it is not about connection or intimacy
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:06 PM
3

You’re right. Male and female bodies are different. Which means you also need to accept that women having sex when they don’t want to can literally hurt and injure them since they are the ones being penetrated. If you aren’t worried about this, you aren’t a decent partner
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:03 PM
2

For some people. For others they won’t even be able to relax enough to be penetrated without pain. You’re trying to act like every human is the exact same as you which is a bit strange. You’re also refusing to acknowledge that people have different libidos. Some naturally prefer sex 4 times a day. Others prefer it twice a month. Both are normal and there’s nothing wrong with either
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:00 PM
2

Not really. For a lot of people, you can’t enjoy sex if you’re stressed or exhausted. And decent men wouldn’t want to have sex with a partner that’s not enjoying it, right? Also, this isn’t a gendered issue. My husband gets in his head a lot and can’t enjoy sex if he’s very stressed/afraid/exhausted too. It’s completely normal
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:56 PM
5

You don’t ever have family to help look after them or spend time with them? That’s a bit strange.do you only consider loud sex in the open as romance?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:50 PM
8

Eh, this really depends on the couple and honestly the culture. If you believe in moving away from family and only relying on yourself and your partner to take care of your kid and you both work? Yeah, not a great time. But if you have extended family that lives with you or helps put often, it’s not that hard to keep the romance alive. Both my husband and I have families where this is the norm culturally and we made sure to have time set aside for us to reconnect. You both just have to make an e…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:48 PM
–

Interesting! So the things they did with their exes they explicitly said they were into it and enjoyed the acts? I’m just trying to understand how this works. For example, would they be like ‘yeah I really love to get eaten out!’ And you’d ask to do it, and they’d just say ‘no’? Not that they previously did them but didn’t enjoy it/find it pleasurable? Cause if it’s this, they would fall under #1
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:20 AM
9

Do you think it’s bad to prioritize different things throughout your life?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:10 AM
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But if it was something that your partner was extremely uncomfortable with or something that put them in pain, how would you derive sexual pleasure from that? Sex is a mutually enjoyable activity, is it not? A decent person wouldn’t get pleasure from a their partner gritting their teeth and bearing it. If it was something mildly uncomfortable, you’d have a point. But a lot of sex acts for women go beyond that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:49 PM
1

I don’t think this means it’s purely transactional. Sex is a natural thing to want when you’re in love with your partner. Like let’s say my husband got into an accident and lost his libido/couldn’t have sex for whatever reason but still wanted to. I would stay and it wouldn’t bother me. Now let’s say one day he just came up and said, we aren’t having sex anymore. That would be jarring and raise a lot of questions that are pretty relevant to a healthy relationship. I wouldn’t leave immediately, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:25 PM
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Genuinely, if a partner was averse to it and would be forcing themselves, would you even still be able to enjoy the sex act? It would be completely one sided at that point and essentially just using your partner like a toy. Not talking about if it’s something they’re neutral about
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:15 PM
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Would you say the same if she always disliked oral? Personally, I don’t see how you’d even be able to enjoy a sex act knowing your partner is actively uncomfortable (not talking about something they’re neutral about)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:13 PM
–

If you genuinely enjoyed a sex act and found it pleasurable, why wouldn’t you want to keep doing it? Because if someone is only doing sex acts because they’re afraid to lose someone, they aren’t genuinely enjoying it
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:09 PM
–

You also have to take into consideration that most ‘kinky’ sex acts men want are things that either hurt or are uncomfortable for women. Can you name popular sex acts men typically want that don’t involve the woman being on the ‘receiving’ end of uncomfortable things? Things like anal (painful for many women and can cause permanent injury), deepthroating, being bent into uncomfortable positions, being hit/tied up, etc? It’s just interesting that ‘kinky’ seems to almost always refer to the woman …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:05 PM
–

Genuinely tho, if you really enjoyed a sex act and found it pleasurable, why would you no longer want to do it? If someone genuinely enjoys something, they will do it without being coaxed or pressured
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:00 PM
–

This is where I’m at. I see the #2 one thrown out by men here but have NEVER heard of this. And I’m in a circle of women that had or are still into the whole kink scene. The ones who aren’t anymore left because they weren’t actually into it or were initially doing it as a form of selfharm (several have admitted this unfortunately). The ones who actually enjoy it are still very much into it
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:58 PM
2

This is a very pessimistic take. Like, are you saying all women only want the ‘top men’? Then what about the women who are married to an average guy and adore him? Or are you only talking about ‘top women’? Most people end up and are attracted to people that are similar levels of attractiveness
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:06 AM
2

So what’s the solution, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 11:42 PM
1

Fair enough. But say someone is physically frail. Would it be a problem for them to be cautious around strangers physically stronger than they are? You can’t immediately gauge who will potentially be a threat, so it’s best to stay alert, right? Personally, I live in a major city where crime is higher than average. I keep to myself, regardless of whether a stranger is a man or woman. But when walking down streets, if someone either looks ‘off’ (think erratic behavior) or there’s a group of people…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 10:48 PM
1

I’m not saying that women shouldn’t do what they can to protect themselves. I strongly advocate for women to at least know the essentials of selfdefense and carry small weapons if need be. However, my point is that you can’t deny that men do have a physical advantage over women, right? This is a fact due to biology. I’m just asking for you to put yourself into a woman’s shoes for a second. Imagine that the gender you’re attracted to can overpower you in a second. If they aren’t a good person, yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 10:26 PM
0

Would you agree that both genders need to stop spreading hateful or hurtful rhetoric? I can’t speak on the Sabrina Carpenter example, as I’ve never heard that song. But yes, those things are harmful, I agree. Would you also agree that women do need to often be more cautious in situations because they are (on average) much weaker than men and are more likely to experience sexual assault? I’m just asking because I see this downplayed heavily in male spaces a lot and that’s what makes a lot of wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 10:15 PM
10

Honestly this. I have never really seen the ‘kill all men’ comments and have literally only heard that it happens here (don’t doubt it, but personally have never seen it). I have seen ‘I hate men’, and I already call that out so 🤷‍♀️ I’m just like….are these men also calling out other men when they make shitty comments about women?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 06:56 PM
–

Ok. If the woman ends up reaching out to you after you pull away, would you respond?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:14 PM
–

What is your intention by stepping back? Are you hoping that she’ll reach out? If not, then whatever works for you. But if you’re secretly hoping that it’ll make her reach out, you’re playing games
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:55 PM
–

Genuinely what are you hoping for by doing this?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:38 PM
–

Why play games tho? Just cut her off. Hell even ghost if communicating is too hard
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:36 PM
3

I don’t. But I can’t tell who has the intention and who doesn’t, so I’m careful to stay safe. Why is that an issue? I’m not bad mouthing men or saying they’re all criminals. But I do stay careful around people (men and women) I don’t know well and who I know I have 0 chance to defend myself Like, have you ever lived in a genuinely shitty and dangerous area? Not everyone is a threat. However, you can’t always tell who’s safe. My husband grew up in a bad area of the Bronx. He’a more careful and ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 05:20 PM
6

Would you say it’s ok for people to be cautious around strangers that are physically stronger than them and who they would likely have 0 chance to fight off?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:46 PM
3

Yeah this is def true. My husband actually grew up in a pretty shitty area in the Bronx. He’s A LOT more cautious around random people (especially men) than I am, even if they appear outwardly ‘normal’. So I don’t fully get why some people refuse to understand this or get upset when women are more cautious/defensive around strangers, especially when most women stand 0 chance in hell at overpowering a man
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:35 PM
3

We likely need to research what makes those men different. Is it genetic? Something different? But either way, both women AND MEN need to call out those men when they see them doing something wrong (more so men imo). Men tend to listen to other men and not women in my experience
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:32 PM
2

Very true. I’m not talking about people who go and start bad mouthing a group of people. But unfortunately, MOST women are much physically weaker than MOST men and will never be able to fight them off even with a weapon. I’m pretty sure that merely biologically men are more than twice as strong as women. So women will pretty much always have to be cautious around men. This shouldn’t be much of a problem if they don’t go bad mouthing all men, right? Like, imagine if the gender you’re attracted to…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:11 PM
2

The thing is, we can’t reduce the impact of bad men. We have to work to reduce bad men from hurting people. Once that hurt and damage has already happened, you can’t really do anything about it. Unless we can severely reduce or stop bad men from hurting/attacking women, the ‘impact’ will never go down
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:04 PM
1

Would you say it’s bad if someone (man or woman) is physically pretty weak and so they stay more cautious around stranger that can easily physically overpower them? How would you suggest they defend themselves if they are ever attacked? I’m not saying if someone is hating on a specific group, but that they are just staying more cautious in situations where they’re around strangers (who you have 0 idea if they are decent people or not)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:01 PM
2

Genuine question—would you have a problem if someone (man or woman) was just more cautious around strangers that are physically stronger than them and who they would have 0 chance to physically fight off if a situation ever arose?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:57 PM
4

Genuinely tho, if a woman is just more cautious around men (since she cannot physically ever fight off someone stronger in most cases), why would you assume that you need to ‘take responsibility’ for what bad men have done? Or let’s take away gender, would you be ok with someone (man or woman) being more careful around strangers that appear to be physically stronger than them? You can’t immediately tell who is bad usually, and being safe rather than sorry later seems like the best way to stay sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:54 PM
4

Why go for so few women tho? There are a lot of single women out there. Are you only going for the conventionally attractive ones? Are you on a similar level looks wise?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 02:41 PM
1

But are you talking about objective attractiveness? Because not everyone is conventionally attractive. So realistically, if you aren’t attracted to someone that’s around your level of your attractiveness, what happens?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 02:37 PM
1

Have you actually spoken to genuinely conventionally unattractive women? They get almost no attention, and many of their attention on apps is men matching with them is to insult them or try and straight up ask for sex. They don’t have many options for a relationship even from the less attractive men. A close friend of mine let me see her tinder and hinge accounts and the men in her messages were just atrocious. Not in looks but in how they treated her because she was less attractive. So no, not …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 02:23 PM
1

For me it’s always slow. Like I’m initially interested in them as a person, but attraction and liking them comes later. My husband, for example, I was interested in as a person almost immediately. We actually were friends for like 5 months before I started developing feelings for him and we got together. I’ve never been immediately into someone romantically or sexually. It’s always taken time. And I used to work in an industry with very attractive people
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 10:16 PM
1

Fair enough. Tho I still think that most people (man or woman) see sex as being connected to pregnancy
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 08:32 PM
1

My comment literally was about pregnancy and you commented on it. How does pregnancy happen without sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 01:27 PM
1

Sex is all that makes someone treated as a human?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 02:17 AM
2

As I’ve stated before, I haven’t been through those things personally. Not quite sure why you’re trying to slip that in there. And genuinely curious, you wish to be a ‘harlot’?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 01:26 AM
6

I’ve never had casual sex luckily! But I have unfortunately heard from many friends how shit in bed many men are and how common lying and coercion is. If you have any female friends, you’d be well aware of how common it is
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:58 PM
5

As long as you’re fine with being hurt most of the time and rarely orgasming! Remember how many sex acts are uncomfortable/painful for women. So as long as you’re fine with that, then neat!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:27 PM
8

Fam, I wouldn’t bring up a scenario if it was completely unlikely or if I hadn’t gone through it
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:26 PM
7

How would you prevent it if you’re raped? Remember if everything is swapped, you become physically much weaker. And plan B only works if you haven’t already ovulated
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 10:20 PM
6

Yes. So men shouldn’t mind if they could be the ones to carry a pregnancy then, right? Personal responsibility and all. So why wouldn’t you accept that?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:29 PM
0

Only for men that just care about sex. Men that genuinely see women as people and want a genuine connection would disagree
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:08 PM
1

Even if you were the one who risks pregnancy and all that comes with it?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:05 PM
9

Exactly this. Does it also put the burden of pregnancy and birth on men and do I become physically stronger than most men? If so, then HELL YEA! If not, then the dynamics aren’t fully flipped
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:05 PM
–

Then why are you on this thread? Was the whole point of OP that women should tell men that they’re unattractive or no?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:01 PM
–

Fam, I’ve literally been physically attacked when I admitted that I just wasn’t attracted. This doesn’t even account for the times that I’ve been harassed or followed for telling the truth. So yeah, it happens And also….you do realize that personality can also be a reason to reject someone, right? I’ve rejected more men due to their views and personality than I have for their appearance. Believe it or not, most women want a partner that’s a good person and compatible. It’s strange that you think…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:59 PM
–

Telling someone it might be their personality is not gaslighting them. I’ve rejected men for how they’ve acted and their personalities before. So have all my friends. Women mentioning personality doesn’t mean they are inherently gaslighting
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:53 PM
–

Then this is why women aren’t honest. So you can’t really complain
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:50 PM
–

It’s actually true in my case. I’ve been physically attacked before for being honest (and I wasn’t even saying he was ugly. I told him that I wasn’t attracted to him/he wasn’t my type). This doesn’t even account for the times I’ve been followed and screamed at. If you could guarantee that this would never happen, I would have no issue being honest
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:48 PM
–

Are young attractive women your ‘looksmatch’? If not, why are they your priority? They’re out of your league
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:46 PM
–

If you could guarantee that I would not be harassed, potentially attacked, followed, or yelled at, I would be completely honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:44 PM
1

I mean, this will depend on the woman. Personally, after my ex and I split (it was mutual), I didn’t date for close to 6 years
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:17 PM
–

Because sex isn’t something women give and men ‘get’. It really shows how you actually view sex as something given to men and not something intimate and about connection between two people. Expecting to have women ‘give’ you sex shows you are not a good person
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 02:40 PM
–

There’s a massive difference between something being enjoyable for two people and being rewarding and actively seeing sex as a reward you get for being ‘good’. So again, sex is not a reward or something given. It’s very toxic and unhealthy to view it that way
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 02:14 PM
–

It’s both. Would you want to be with a woman that you have 0 attraction for? Probably not, right? And decent people, like actually good people, will want to be better because they want to help people. Not because they might get something in return. If you’re only doing ‘better’ to get something from people, you aren’t actually a good person. So if that’s your argument, it’s moot because they’re not actually being ‘better’ or good. You should be against abusing your partner because it’s wrong and…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 02:11 PM
–

Do you have any proof of this? Most of my friends are heavily liberal. My husband is more liberal and involved in politics than I am. All of my friend’s partners are liberal leaning and have similar views on major topics and are actively critical of conservatives. A close friend of mine divorced her ex when he voted for Trump
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 02:06 PM
–

Genuine question—but let’s say most women genuinely just are happier single if they can’t get a compatible partner they want, what do you think should happen? Would you be ok with this? And I’m not saying women who do this to ‘get back at men’ or something, but genuinely if most women find being single as being more peaceful and what they want out of life rather than settling
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 02:00 PM
–

Seeing sex as a reward is the problem. Sex is something enjoyable for both people. If you see sex as something for yourself, you’re not a good man
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 01:50 PM
–

When you say women don’t care about men’s issues, what exactly do you mean? Would empathizing and recognizing that men are struggling be enough on its own? If so, I think many women already do. But most women will not date men that they aren’t interested in or push for other women to. That doesn’t mean that they don’t care
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 01:44 PM
–

What do you mean by this?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:36 PM
0

As long as you’re on the same page
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 10:58 PM
-1

Just curious, but does your partner know you have these views and does she also share them?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 09:04 PM
–

Where did I say that’s ok? Anyone that’s even a halfway decent person would consider that immoral. Both are absolutely disgusting to do to a person. I’ve literally called out and dropped close friends who have admitted to doing those things. Do you call out men you know that lie to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 05:18 PM
-1

There’s also plenty of people (men and women) who feel even more lonely and depressed when in a relationship. Your view doesn’t apply to everyone
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 04:01 PM
7

Genuine question—say you suddenly got a lot of attention from women. However all of these women are obese or objectively very unattractive, or they are verbally and potentially physically abusive, and then you have ones that are decent but aren’t compatible with you. And assume that sex for you would be you being the penetrated party and you risk pregnancy and you have to be the one to carry and give birth. Would you be happy with this? Would you genuinely count all of those women as viable opti…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 03:59 PM
2

So all that matters is having a life partner to these men? Then a sexless relationship would make them happy. Or a relationship with an unattractive or obese woman would be perfectly fine, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 03:55 PM
2

Did she agree under specific pretenses? For example, if someone had HIV and lies about it and transmits it to their partner, you don’t believe there’s an issue? By lying, they are not allowing the person to actually make an informed decision. Their choice is literally being manipulated
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 06:16 PM
3

For real. Like if a man doesn’t want kids, why would you not always wear a condom? Women aren’t trustworthy, right? So wear a condom since she might be lying about bc. Don’t act like you have 0 agency. Men have no business trying to have sex without a condom
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 06:13 PM
3

The thing that baffles me is that are these men always wearing a condom to protect themselves? They should be if they are genuinely worried about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 06:12 PM
8

Why lie and manipulate someone tho? If you truly believed that both sexes get equal benefit from sex, you wouldn’t have so many men admit that they will pretend to be interested and manipulate women (tell them what they want to hear) to have sex with them. Do you believe that lying and manipulating someone is wrong? Yes or no?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 02:50 PM
3

If a woman says that she will not have sex outside of a committed relationship, it’s wrong for a man to agree unless he genuinely sees it the same way. If someone genuinely happens to be a dealbreaker during sex for some weird reason, you should at least talk to that person. The ‘used’ part comes when a man literally pretends and lies. If you aren’t interested in a relationship with this woman, just be honest and don’t pretend that you do. I am not talking about GENUINE instances where someone m…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 02:47 PM
9

Men also have much less risk from casual sex. They will never have to deal with getting pregnant or give birth. Men who push to not wear condoms are even worse, as they don’t care about putting the whole burden of contraception on women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 02:44 PM
7

If a charity lies about fundraising money to help children with cancer, but they actually just use that money for themselves, is that ok? You consented to give that money under specific circumstances. At best, you are manipulating someone and hurting them
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 02:41 PM
1

Genuinely, are you married or in a longterm relationship? Cause if you’re single and giving out ‘advice’ on how to get a partner….might want to consider that your advice isn’t that great. There’s a reason why most of the married folk or those on longterm relationships lean towards bluepill and why the bitter and socially inept ones are redpill. I’ll let you take a guess on why The fact that you value ‘awards’ on Reddit is a bit of a strange priority, but as long as it makes you happy 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 11:41 PM
2

Learn to socialize fam. Not my problem if reading a couple paragraphs is too ‘stressful’ for you 😂 Good luck out there ✌️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 11:12 PM
0

What counts as ‘real’ neurodivergence, honey? Also, are you a psychologist? ADHD is very much not just a ‘concentrating issue’. So it sounds like you need to do your research, little man. Fam, you are literally trying to act like disabilities are the end of the world. That’s just dramatic and sad and an excuse to not try. Will it be harder? Yes. Is it unfair? Yeah. Who cares. You do what you can. If you want to just give up and cry about how it’s unfair, then you do you. But you can do something…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:56 PM
10

Will pregnancy and birth also be 50/50 then? Otherwise, how is it equal?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:13 PM
5

I mean, you realize sex is inherently different for men and women, right? Right off the bat, if you don’t have a vasectomy and don’t like condoms, that puts 100% of possible bad side effects on the women for contraception. That’s already a bad deal. If you happy always using condoms, then sure. But it seems like most men aren’t even tho that would help their partner out by a lot and help protect their partner’s wellbeing This doesn’t even account for if you plan on having children. In that scena…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 08:47 PM
4

Definitely with you on this.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 07:22 PM
1

What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 07:11 PM
0

Sure, you can feel repulsive. That doesn’t mean that you are. It’s the same thing as someone who grew up in a heavily abusive environment. They will feel unlovable. That doesn’t mean that’s fact. You have to work to overcome that feeling (and yes, I’m speaking from experience, and no it’s not easy). But you have to do it
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 07:07 PM
0

But not having sex doesn’t inherently mean you are ‘sexually repulsive’. I’m not sure if you’re just hyperbolizing here, but women not being interested in having sex with you doesn’t mean you’re somehow ‘repulsive’
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:51 PM
10

Oh, I agree. The way that men are treated as threats/or just weird if they aren’t able (or frankly just don’t want to) date is bad. We should be working to normalize being single. But being completely honest, I think social media is a big reason why there’s an increasing disconnect and a lack of empathy on both sides. Making massive generalizations on either gender does nothing but make things worse
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:49 PM
2

Would she be able to confide in you when she’s unhappy/stressed/struggling or no?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:46 PM
4

Tbf ‘don’t cause drama’ is very vague. If a woman if unhappy and tries to communicate that with you, does that mean she’s causing drama? I’ve seen some men say that it is. If she asks for help because she’s struggling, does that mean she’s nagging? If she’s feeling neglected or unloved and tries to communicate with you, is that ‘disturbing the peace’?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:45 PM
20

Honestly, if men only want that and are fine with being single if they can’t get that, then I’m not sure what the issue is? You might have people say you’re delusional or whatever but women hear that too when they have stupid high standards 🤷‍♀️ Aim for the stars, just don’t make it other people’s problem if you don’t get it. You need to be willing to accept the high likelihood of remaining single The ‘obedient housewife’ part might be concerning depending on how you mean that as it can indicate…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:31 PM
3

Fair enough. Hopefully you’re able to find a partner that makes you happy (not being sarcastic here). Honestly, finding a partner was something important to me too, just not something I’d be willing to sacrifice my dream for
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:24 PM
0

But for what reason? That’s what I think these people are asking. Whenever this gets asked, it’s just met with so much defensiveness or aggression and not actually answered. Like, why would you like a romantic partner? Is it mostly for sex? Is it about a deeper emotional connection? Someone to share a life with? Introspection is a good skill to have. A lot of people lack this tho and just go ‘i want this’ without any thought. That’s not helpful nor healthy. And wanting to have sex isn’t inherent…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:20 PM
3

Why give up your dream life for a potential woman tho? Is it about sex in particular? A deeper connection? Romance?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:17 PM
2

Men being willing to lower their standards just to have a partner doesn’t necessarily mean that women should tho, right? If someone only wants the best and is ok with being single due to that, what’s the problem? I’d think that most men would not enjoy being in a sexless relationship, which will happen if the woman isn’t attracted to them
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:14 PM
14

Genuinely, why tho? If women prefer to be single if they can’t get the ‘perfect’ partner, why is that a problem? That’s their choice, isn’t it?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:12 PM
17

But those men don’t have to put up with their demands, do they? Are they being forced? If a woman refuses to hookup or date if her ‘demands’ aren’t being met, how’s that an issue? Just don’t engage with them 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:10 PM
12

I mean, if a woman only will date a man that’s 6’5, makes 500k a year, and expects nothing from her in return, she’s more than free to stay single trying to chase that, right? It’s better than her ‘settling’ with a man she doesn’t want. If she gets bitter about it, well….she likely knew that was a possibility. I don’t see why this is a problem if some women choose to have a ‘perfect’ partner or be single if they can’t find that
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:07 PM
0

How do you know it’s ‘most’ women? I do not have tons of options like you seem to believe. I’ve only dated ~5 men over the span of 25 years (and only two of those went past 2 dates). Why? Because most men aren’t compatible and I’m not wasting time on people with different values. Any man that pushes boundaries or doesn’t match my values does not get another date, much less anything sexual. And yes, this includes very attractive men Being neurodivergent doesn’t mean you can’t learn good social sk…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 05:23 PM
-1

This is just not true. I’ve been on dates with men that I was incredibly attracted to, but either wouldn’t accept a ‘no’ or they started pushing/disrespected boundaries. Were they ‘hot’? Yeah. Were they also disgusting creeps that I ghosted? Also yeah. Being attractive does not give you a pass to be a piece of shit So unless you’re literally only wanting to attractive women with no self-respect, this just isn’t true
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 03:56 PM
–

Honestly tho, if someone wants a partner with the same or similar views on sex/sexual past, what’s wrong with that? I’m a woman that prefers to be with a man that views sex the same way I do (that sex is only an expression of love, not just an activity you do that’s fun). How is this not just compatibility?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 12:57 PM
1

Exactly this
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 07:01 PM
5

I was asking you to elaborate on what your comment. And also elaborating on why women sometimes go and bring up rape in response to men’s dating problems. How is it not related? The issue doesn’t exist in a vacuum. A lot of different things go into this
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:58 PM
4

Do you have an example of this (questioning habits and holding someone accountable)? Because if the issue is that a man cannot find women to date (that he’s attracted to), what’s a solution that doesn’t involve bashing women for going after ‘chads’? You might not be pushing for women to date men they don’t want, but a lot of guys on here seem to want something like that. Or they’re upset at feminism and the fact that women can now choose whether to date or not and don’t have to rely on men Like …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:46 PM
7

You can’t ofc, but things like staying friends with men that assault or harass women goes into this too. If men just brush off things their friends do because they’re friends, that’s a big part of the problem
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:42 PM
0

Exactly this!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 04:00 PM
0

I mean, as a married woman, none of this really applies. I’m happily married to a man that takes on more than ‘his’ share of household duties and who’s an amazing father. I didn’t take his last name and he has always had no issue with that. Marrying the wrong man will definitely cause issues and not be worth it. But with the right person, it doesn’t really feel like much work at all. If you don’t want to marry, then don’t. It’s not for everyone And completely honest, marriage wasn’t something th…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:59 PM
6

I’d challenge that most men have bad social skills. Are you referring to a specific age group? Neurodivergent men?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:43 PM
0

As in you value them as a person. You don’t want them to suffer, you want them to be happy and to enjoy life with you as your partner. Not just having them around to get something out of it
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:40 PM
0

But you didn’t answer my question. Are they genuinely into those women and care about them?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:36 PM
-3

Any? So most men would consider asexual women their type? Or obese women? And I don’t mean just tolerating them for sex. But genuinely loving and caring about them as people
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:26 PM
1

If having a partner is important to her, then yes as it’ll limit her pool massively. If she has preferences like that but doesn’t care too much about finding a partner, then it’s fine
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:22 PM
11

That’s not loyalty tho. If a person works at a company and is applying for jobs elsewhere every single day, but can’t land anything due to incompetency, is that person ‘loyal’? I’d bet that most people would say no. If given a choice, that person would leave. They aren’t actively choosing their partner. And this doesn’t even get into things like ignoring their partner to pay for OF or something
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 02:38 PM
17

So you want women to be with men that literally are only with them because they have zero options? That’s a great way to end up with someone that doesn’t actually like you and is only with you because it’s that or nothing. Personally, I would never want a relationship like that
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 02:34 PM
0

Never said size doesn’t matter. But I’m asking you—would you be genuinely content with a sex life that’s only slow and gentle, only 1-2 positions, and absolutely no oral or anal? Yes or no? That’s what a sex life would look like for a lot of women with a partner with a larger penis. So I’m asking you, would you be genuinely satisfied with a sex life like that?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 01:34 PM
-1

Doesn’t this depend on the exact mental health issue? Some people with depression will literally need medicine to overcome it due to a chemical imbalance. People with ADHD or OCD will not suddenly be ‘fixed’ by going to the gym.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 04:35 AM
1

I mean, shouldn’t we be pushing for people to pursue relationships with people they genuinely want and will be happy with? What good does it do to push people to be with someone they’re neutral about? That’s just going to lead to a deadbedroom, which I assume a lot of men wouldn’t like
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 04:10 AM
2

Then you’d also agree that men who flirt with or try and sleep with female workers should be imprisoned too, right? Whoever initiates is the one punished by law
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 04:09 AM
-1

You’re joking, right? 7” is absolutely insane for most women. For most women that would mean that sex is lots of foreplay, very slow and gentle every single time, limited to like 1-2 positions, and absolutely no oral or anal. Is that the sex life most men would prefer? From what I’ve heard, it’s definitely not Even approaching 6” is fucking painful and straight up unpleasant and limiting. But just curious, do you watch porn often?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 04:07 AM
0

If you’re only dating someone due to their looks, that’s where the problem is. Almost all of my average male friends have longterm partners that are similar levels of attractiveness to them. If you’re only interested in women attractive enough to be ‘influencers’, that’s your problem
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 04:04 AM
3

Are you pursuing women that are similar to you in facial attractiveness tho?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:56 AM
2

You only consider women attractive enough to be ‘influencers’ datable? If so, that’s your problem unless you’re also that attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:54 AM
1

Honestly, at events or hobbies (if you have social ones). I have several friends (who are pretty average) and they’ve met their partner through things like local DnD groups, comic conventions, etc. But this also heavily depends on how you’re defining average. If you’re talking about women attractive enough to have thousands of followers on social media, that’s a bit out of touch. For example the average man and woman (in the US) is overweight
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:49 AM
1

I mean…that literally is what I, and the women I know, consider to be an average man. Most of my friends date men similar levels of attractiveness to them, men that definitely are not 6’ or fit, and men that make around the median income (or less). Would you not consider these men average? I only have one friend that only dates fit men and that’s because she’s literally a fitness freak (like actual bodybuilding)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:44 AM
–

Not true. When I was dating, I did not ever have casual sex. I’ve only had sex with two people, a longterm ex that I knew for years before and my husband. My husband and I still have a very active sex life
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 10:27 PM
–

Why not exclusively pursue poly relationships then? That’s the obvious solution unless you’d have some problem with women also have multiple partner for some reason Some people aren’t monogamous and that’s ok. Poly people should stick to poly relationships and monogamous people can stick with similar people. These should never overlap. Just be honest
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 10:15 PM
–

How so tho? I genuinely think that most marriages are people who either aren’t that into each other or they lose feelings. My husband and I have been together 14 years now and have two daughters. Our sex life is actually more frequent than when we first started dating. Aside from postpartum and brief periods of extreme work stress, it’s been consistent and frequent (typically daily/every other day at least).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 10:08 PM
2

It happens after I get to know him well and trust him. Before then, I get ‘butterflies’ and feel giddy, but don’t really ever have sexual thoughts before getting to know him and actually developing trust. Then it’s literally all the time. Married 14 years now and libido is much higher than it was when we first met
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 02:24 PM
4

I mean, women go through this exact thing. People always seem to find the opposite of what they’re looking for
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 02:13 PM
6

You can tho. Sex isn’t only about penetration. There are women out there who hate penetration and only would prefer to have oral or other sex acts. A man in that situation would be a perfect match for women like that
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:02 PM
–

Eh, I disagree there. Imo if I’m not struggling and lent a friend money and they will literally starve just to pay me back, I’d let it go. It’d be selfish to ask them to harm themselves when I’m not struggling. Now if they never reciprocated in some form, no matter how small (like doing a small favor), that would be an issue. But you still didn’t answer my question. What counts as ‘reasonable’ is subjective. So if someone cannot be a halfway decent parent, would it be less selfish to have a kid …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 08:46 PM
–

Fair enough. I agree that society has come a long way, but I still don’t think that means women should just shut up and make themselves miserable due to that And also—genuinely curious, if someone has a severe mental illness where they will most definitely become an abusive/terrible parent (even if they are in treatment and therapy), do you consider them selfish to not have kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 08:28 PM
–

It’s not really entitlement to acknowledge that we can do better for parents tho. We all live in a society, right? Hoarding wealth and other selfish behaviors are rarely called out….why? You’re arguing that we have a duty to upkeep society. Well we also have a duty to make society better, do we not? So to just shrug and be like, welp historically people suffered more so suck it up, is plain stupid imo. Just curious, but if you genuinely believe that women owe or have a duty to society to have ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 08:17 PM
–

Then why did your comment say that women vote for this? Men vote for this too, do they not?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 07:05 PM
–

Only women vote for these things? Do you have a source on this?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 07:00 PM
–

But the thing is tho that both genders suffer different things. Just like how it’s mostly men that get dragged into war and endure terrors, it’s mostly women that get dragged into trafficking and sexual abuse by men. Just like how men typically have to do harder labor jobs because they are biologically stronger, women have to go through the traumas of pregnancy and having your body torn apart by birth because of biology. How can things truly be equal? Imo it can’t. But that’s also why if people …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 05:33 PM
–

Fam, biology is my whole point. Men can never fully understand what it’s like to go through pregnancy and childbirth, right? But in your earlier comment you tried to literally say that men do. You wrote it. Also, since it’s due to biology, what can men do that makes things even since women have to give birth? If you want actual equality, pregnancy and birth must be equal too. Are you saying that not a single woman has ever fought in a war? And LOL. Are you not from the US? There absolutely are l…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 05:26 PM
–

Fair enough. But my point is more like, if we keep framing this as a negative, that works to shame women for their choice. Which means that many women will become resentful and terrible mothers to unwanted children. Surely that isn’t what most people envision as a good thing, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 05:23 PM
–

It’s better than it was but it’s still not good. And I’m not even talking about single mothers. I have two children with my husband. We make around the median household income and are struggling. Childcare is fucking expensive. We’re very lucky that we both come from cultures where living with extended family and having their help is the norm. I didn’t work for most of my pregnancy and for 8 months postpartum due to healing. If I had to work while constantly sick and exhausted, I would never hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 05:21 PM
–

Do you know what it means? You’re the one who tried saying that men suffer too when women get pregnant. I’m asking what they suffer from that’s comparable to what the woman goes through. Again, why won’t you answer my question? If you could would you be willing to take on pregnancy and childbirth? Yes or no? Fam, I have two kids under 5. You’re really advocating for parents to abandon their kids? My husband wouldn’t even be down for that. You also aren’t counting for the fact that certain medica…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 03:58 PM
–

So men risk tearing and bleeding? Your pelvic floor gets permanently fucked up from watching your wife give birth? What permanent or longterm physical damage do men suffer from pregnancy or childbirth? I’m genuinely asking So you know how shitty pregnancy and birth are, which is why you wouldn’t theoretically do a tradeoff for it. You want women to do what you do on top of having to give birth. How the fuck is that fair? Why wouldn’t you be willing to carry a pregnancy and give birth (if you cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 03:39 PM
–

If people truly cared about this, then why not do things that would actively help women have children? Such as increasing wages or giving more time off for pregnancy and postpartum for the body to heal? Or more affordable options for childcare? There are solutions, but so many men don’t want these because they want women to have children and suffer So few will even acknowledge how hard and traumatic childbirth and pregnancy are. Not to mention the permanent damage to the body afterwards
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 03:31 PM
–

And men don’t have to deal with pregnancy and childbirth. They never have to risk permanent damage to have a child. Nature’s unfair 🤷‍♀️ If men could get pregnant instead, then I’d gladly swap places to fight and ‘pay taxes’. Would you be willing to make that tradeoff?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 03:29 PM
–

Would you say that women should have kids even if they don’t want to? We need to stop pretending that pregnancy and childbirth are easy for women just because our bodies can do it. Many many times it results in permanent damage that we have to suffer with for the rest of our lives. On top of that, so many men seem to be against giving pregnant women time off work to reduce stress, as well as refuse to give time off to let their bodies heal postpartum. If we actually researched this more and foun…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 03:27 PM
–

Why aren’t you including the painful and damaging parts like pregnancy, birth, postpartum, etc? Many women will have permanently damaged pelvic floors and suffer for the rest of their lives. Or does this just not matter since it’s just women who experience this?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 03:22 PM
–

Instead of blaming women for this, why is there no discussion on how to make having children easier? Many more women would be willing to have children if finances or time off work weren’t a concern. But for some reason people are refusing to address this. There are solutions that don’t involve making mothers miserable, which in turn will negatively affect their children
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 03:20 PM
4

Agreed. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t care about nuance, so not really sure if this will ever happen
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:24 PM
3

If that was truly what you were referring to, then yeah, you’re right
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:17 PM
6

Are those forms of sex typically acts that are pleasurable to women? Giving a bj or doing anal typically are only for the man
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:10 PM
8

Which is wrong and we should be working to stop that behavior. No one should be shamed for being single. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:08 PM
5

But like…that reason has to come from them. What makes it worth it for another person won’t make it worth it for you. If it’s more trouble than you want to put in, then opt out
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:06 PM
8

Honestly, it’s just like ‘okay’? Dating is a massive risk, not denying that. If someone just says this and that’s why they don’t wanna date, then cool, good on them. No one should feel forced to date
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:05 PM
2

They can make a choice tho. No one dies by not having sex. That’s my point. Like genuinely, if your spouse got into an accident and couldn’t be intimate anymore, you’d abandon or betray them? Granted, if we’re going by OP’s question, not getting into such a relationship is understandable
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:02 PM
3

Not necessarily, sex is very important to me. It’s just a difference of priorities imo. Like if my husband ever couldn’t have sex again, I’d be frustrated, sure. But would never leave or cheat It’s more ‘wouldn’t’ not ‘couldn’t’. Many people, even with high sex drives, go without and don’t die or suffer mentally.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 05:20 PM
7

Honestly, even as a woman with a very high sex drive, I’d still say ‘yes’.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 01:05 AM
1

Then they should be upfront about that and find compatible partners
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:25 PM
2

But they can imagine their partner doing so. Imagining someone else means that they likely wish to have sex with others, so why not pursue poly relationships? If you can’t be satisfied with one partner, you shouldn’t pursue monogamy. There’s nothing wrong with non-monogamous relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:25 PM
1

Oh I don’t doubt most of them have. But there’s a massive difference between a thought flashing by and someone being completely disconnected and pretending you’re someone else. The latter is what I have an issue with and what’s very obvious in the moment
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:23 PM
2

Not really about policing as it is about just finding a compatible partner. Someone who prefers to imagine another person while having sex with their partner wouldn’t be compatible with me is all I’m saying. It’s essentially just using their body to masturbate if they’re pretending/imagining being with someone else
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 12:09 AM
1

Fair enough, I just don’t get why you’d wanna daydream about other people if you’re really into your partner but guess everyone’s different. Couldn’t imagine ever getting bored or tired of my partner
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 07:01 PM
1

How often would this happen tho? If he has a short refractory period and would still be down for sex after, then no problem unless he’s thinking of other women. But if he can only really go once a day or something (and decides to masturbate instead of have sex), then that’d be a problem
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 06:59 PM
1

Pretty sure most women won’t care if their partner masturbates when they aren’t in the mood or available. It does however become a problem if they ever choose to masturbate and watch porn over having sex with their partners
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 06:57 PM
3

Yeah I agree with this. Personally, I only think and fantasize about my partner and I don’t see why it’s wrong to want the same in turn. Why do they have to think about or watch other women?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 06:54 PM
1

This makes sense when the partner isn’t available or wanting to have sex. But there’s often a lot of men who will literally neglect their partners and prefer porn and masturbating over having sex. That’s where I think a big issue with porn comes from, and personally where the line is for me. If I’m not available or in the mood, then whatever go for it. But I’ve also very rarely turned down a partner or can’t get in the mood so there shouldn’t be a need for porn or thinking of other women
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 06:52 PM
0

Yeah, this is how I feel about it too. Like saying he can never masturbate is crazy. But like…you don’t have to think about other people while masturbating 🤷‍♀️ But if a partner does watch porn, I only really care if they were to ever choose porn/masturbating over sex. Then it becomes an issues if it’s a recurring thing
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 06:47 PM
1

It’s not always obvious tho. For example my husband had a close friend that he genuinely thought was a great guy. Somewhat recently, it came out that he’s been non-stop cheating on his longterm gf on top of physically abusing her. He had no idea and was heartbroken upon learning about this. Some people are very good at lying and manipulating. I’ve also had this happen with a former friend that I genuinely thought was a great person (most people did). It’s not rare. Look how often there’s the who…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:06 PM
1

Genuine question- if those women aren’t attracted to those ‘nicer’ men, should they still date them? Seems like that’s a great way to end up in a sexless relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:04 PM
-1

A lot of this stuff isn’t apparent on the first date tho. For example, I have an ex that appeared like an incredibly kind person, wasn’t ever disrespectful, was never pushy, and was consistent but not overbearing. He started changing (or rather showing his real self) about 8 months in. My friends that met him had a hard time believing me at the time So yeah. Some men may be obvious at the start, but it’a not always obvious. Many of my friends have also been through something similar
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:02 PM
0

Genuinely what does it achieve? They aren’t the criminal. To focus on the person who got hurt instead of focusing on stopping the perpetrator from hurting more people is just….bizarre. Like sure, we can all agree it’s not smart or whatever. But why kick someone while they’re down? That’s just being sadistic and a shit person
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:57 PM
1

It’s not an excuse, but it’s an explaination of that behavior. There’s a difference. Childhood trauma can have massive effects on the brain and what a person perceives as ‘normal’. A lot of times people who grew up in abusive environments literally have to learn that it’s not normal. Talk to a psychologist is you really can’t believe that
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:55 PM
2

It really depends. For example, I also care about my partner’s past. Would you also be honest about your past and who you’ve been with? If not, then no problem as it’s just about filtering for compatibility
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 11:32 PM
–

I mean, it’s the same for women. Even less attractive men aren’t tripping over themselves to date obese or ugly women no matter how good their personality is
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:47 PM
6

Just because it’s an expectation, that doesn’t mean they have no agency and have to do it, right? If you don’t want marriage, you need to only pursue women who are on the same page. If a woman wants marriage and you don’t, you are fundamentally incompatible
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:45 PM
2

Physical affection isn’t only sex tho. If you are only talking about sex here, then just say sex. Don’t try and use physical affection or physical touch to sugar coat it. Physical affection also includes things like holding hands, hugs, cuddling, etc
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:58 AM
10

Yeah, I was going to say. The men I’d dated before my husband were like this. If I were feeling sick and couldn’t hang out or have sex, suddenly I must not love them anymore. My father was very similar in that if anyone ever asked for help or if he was ever corrected, he’d respond with something like ‘So I can’t do anything right’. This isn’t really gendered
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 06:58 PM
1

i mean what ‘porn’ type stuff are you referring to? A woman not wanting rougher type sex or things like anal doesn’t mean they don’t desire their partner A lot of women genuinely aren’t into being hurt or degraded during sex no matter who their partner is
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 07:45 PM
–

Never said I have a problem when women are called out. I’m more just confused why it matters that some women find something ‘invalid’. Some people believe that the earth is flat, but why worry about that?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 07:43 PM
1

Yeah, I agree with you here. There are definitely people who just judge and don’t actually care. People who say things like your latter example aren’t really people to listen to imo
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:28 PM
14

My husband has said something similar to this about our daughters. It’s ultimately their choice, but we’d have a sit down to check in and make sure they’re in a healthy relationship and not being taken advantage of
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:09 PM
6

Genuine question—if an older woman (or man) sees an age gap relationship with some worrisome signs and gives the young woman advice or red flags to look out for, would you have a problem with that? At least assuming the young woman is open to the advice. As long as they aren’t harassing the woman about her choice, why would anyone not be ok with this?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:06 PM
1

But why hyperbolize here? So just to be clear, are you saying that women wanting relatively ‘vanilla sex’ is what the problem is? You brought up variety and then brought up that women tend to only do sex the exact same way. But there is variety if you’re talking about the average couple that tends to switch up between positions and such
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:42 PM
–

I mean, who really cares? If you feel like you’re incompatible, then leave. It shouldn’t really matter to you if women think it’s not ‘valid’. Some people believe that even cheating isn’t a valid reason to leave somebody, but that doesn’t mean it should stop you
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:40 PM
–

Yes, but it depends on the individual. Personally, my desire for someone grows over time. My desire for my husband is much stronger now, than it was 14 years ago when we were in the ‘honeymoon’ stage. We actually have sex much more frequently compared to the beginning But I’ve also spoken to friends where the honeymoon period is when they had the most desire. It really depends
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:38 PM
1

One position and once a week? Pretty sure most couples rotate at least between a couple positions and with foreplay like oral. Based on my experience and what I’ve heard anyways
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:30 PM
1

I mean, most women aren’t asexual. Most women are going to want sex in their relationships. Wanting ‘vanilla’ sex acts still counts
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:25 PM
2

This isn’t really right tho. Many women can be with the man they desire the most, but just don’t enjoy ‘porn’ style sex, by which I’m referring to rougher sex acts that are often painful. Not being into ‘kinks’ doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy sex or that they don’t desire their partner
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 10:57 PM
7

True, but you have to admit that many ‘kinks’ or preferences a lot of guys want are things that are actively painful for women (anal is a big example). Not so much the reverse from what I’ve seen. Most women don’t really push for sex acts that are painful for men
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 10:52 PM
2

Eh it also depends on what you mean by ‘pleasing men’. Like if a man needs more ‘kinkier’ sex and his partner isn’t into that, then they just aren’t compatible. That’s not a partner being lazy or not caring about his pleasure. Same thing if genders are reversed. Now if it’s something that’s not a limit and your partner can’t be bothered, yea that’s a problem
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 07:43 PM
6

Aside from someone just like laying there and not participating, ‘good’ and ‘bad’ sex are pretty subjective. Things like kissing styles and various ‘skills’ just comes down to compatibility
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 07:41 PM
3

It’s just about compatibility. As long as you’re upfront about this and date people with the same view on dating, there’s no issue
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 07:35 PM
0

Genuinely, why would it matter at all if I, or any other woman, would date someone posted there? Are you saying that he can’t breakup just because it might hurt his chances with some women?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 09:56 PM
1

This doesn’t really make much sense. Why couldn’t this man breakup in this case? He could literally say they’re incompatible because they are. If she gets upset, well people get upset when they’re dumped. That’s life. I’m not really sure why he’d care so much if she believes he’s misogynistic when she’s spitting out bs at the same time. The man will only have to worry about her and other people that are delulu not liking him. So who cares
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 04:08 PM
2

Tbh if my husband passed away, it would hit hard and I dunno how I’d handle it. I genuinely do not believe I would ‘move on’ or date afterwards
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 05:27 PM
10

Ok, but not all women even advocate for this or are all emotionally mature. Some women are hypocrites. Some women are assholes. Decent people (men or women) would be accepting of boundaries, and if it doesn’t work for them, they recognize you aren’t compatible and move on
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 01:06 AM
5

Then they aren’t truly monogamous and should pursue poly relationships. It makes no sense to hurt an innocent person by pretending to be something you’re not. If you can’t be happy and fully satisfied with one women, you shouldn’t pursue women that want that
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:31 PM
10

It really depends how you define boundaries here. For example, if a woman has a hard sexual boundary, and you try and push that, that is 100% not ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 01:57 PM
5

Then if a man knows a woman well, then he’ll also know if a woman truly desires him 🤷‍♀️ Men talk all the time about how they can’t be vulnerable and honest with women
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 04:34 PM
6

How can a woman know if a man genuinely desires her? You see men here all the time that talk about how they’ll have sex with and get into relationships with women they aren’t attracted to and just think about porn or other women during
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 04:29 PM
9

I mean, you should be enjoying the dates too. If you’re not, that’s a problem. If a woman is never planning anything or contributing to the relationship, then break up with her. Why stay?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 04:27 PM
3

So you just value sexual compatibility the most then? From your other comment, it sounds like you’re only into ‘kinky’ sex (and I’m going to assume mainstream pretty porn). So if she doesn’t enjoy being hurt/degraded during sex at all, but enjoys regular sex with you and genuinely desires you , what then? Or if she wanted to inflict specific acts on you, would you do it to please her?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 04:16 PM
8

It’s still a reason why women shouldn’t get involved with men then, unless it’s more money. So if men want to promote this, they also need to be ok with most women not wanting anything to do with them 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 12:38 AM
11

I mean, why should women risk getting into a relationship with a man if he’ll just leave for a younger one when he gets the chance? If most men are like this, then most women should just focus on building a community and not date men
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 12:34 AM
–

I’m basing this on my own experiences with partners. ED complicates sex, that’s true. But seeing it as a ‘pass/fail’ thing is just plain unhelpful, that’s my point. If it’s a problem, your partner should work with you to help figure it out The whole point is that what makes ‘amazing sex’ isn’t universal. There are women out there who don’t enjoy piv at all and prefer other forms of sex. That would be ‘bad’ to some people, but not to her. It sounds like you’re taking what you consider to be ‘amaz…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 08:08 PM
–

It’s not ‘failing’ at sex tho. That’s a very narrow way to view sex. Being ‘amazing’ at sex is incredibly subjective since people all like different things. What one woman enjoys may be something another is completely turned off by
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 07:59 PM
–

That doesn’t inherently mean the sex is ‘bad’ tho. There’s quite a few workarounds that are still enjoyable. If a partner has an issue with that, then it’s just a compatibility issue ‘Good’ sex isn’t really any specific moves
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 07:48 PM
–

But a person that’s only had 2 partners can technically be more experienced than someone who’s slept with a new partner every week. Typically in LTRs you’re more comfortable communicating and exploring together to find what you like. Even if someone is a virgin, they literally can explore together, unless one partner just isn’t patient. Someone could have slept with a thousand different people and that still won’t mean that they’ll know how to please you. It’s just about communication
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 07:35 PM
1

What do you mean? Again, you see average couples who are similar in appearance all the time. Overweight people are often seen with another overweight person, for example. Go outside and people watch for a bit and look at couples. You don’t see a single average or unattractive man with a woman (this includes unattractive women)? You’re saying you only see average/unattractive women with men that are models? An average woman in the US will be overweight and have a plain-ish/average face, just like…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 06:06 PM
1

What do you mean? How would every single woman on the planet wake up one day and only be attracted to one race? Or am I misinterpreting?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 06:03 PM
2

I mean, I can only speak for my own region/culture which is the east coast of the US and the midwest. I don’t know Italian culture, so you’ll need to ask someone from there In the areas I’ve lived tho, yeah, it’s relatively easy as long as you have basic social skills
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 06:02 PM
–

Exactly what I was thinking too. I can’t really think of what ‘basics’ of sex I had to learn with any of my partners. Like what ‘basics’ are they even referring to here? Being able to communicate or know basic anatomy? I feel like everyone should know this Good sex happens when you can read body language well, can communicate with your partner, and have the same or similar sexual preferences
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 05:58 PM
–

But the things to learn is basically just what your partner likes tho, right? I can’t really think of any specific ‘skills’ you have to ‘learn’ to have good sex. It’s more just being able to read your partner so you both have a good time. But maybe I’m reading too much into what ‘learn’ actually means here
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 05:56 PM
–

Honestly tho, what ‘basics’ and skills of sex are you specifically referring to? You don’t really have to ‘learn’ or be experienced to do various positions. Are you just referring to kinks? Because even for things like oral, everyone likes different things so you just need to be able to work with your current partner, and I’d hardly call reading body language and communicating a ‘skill’ I’ve had my fair share of experience before my husband and my husband has a lot more than I do, and we have a …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 05:51 PM
6

Nope! There’s a lot of events that people can go to depending on their interests so that makes for smaller groups to interact and chat. I’m specifically talking about comic/anime conventions, and at those you usually have a lot of ‘meetups’ that’s literally open to everyone and it’s a great way to meet all kinds of people. Based on my experience, there’s about equal amounts of men and women. Most people are open to chatting ime, and it’s extremely common for people to swap socials to stay in tou…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 04:12 AM
2

Personally, conventions and parties that happen at them. It’d where I met my husband and it’s still a great way to meet people and make friends
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 02:02 AM
2

What’s the line for unwilling vs unable tho? Something like depression can make someone unable to, but it may look like just unwillingness. Same thing for stress or other ‘invisible’ issues that make sex just unenjoyable
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 10:18 PM
-1

If you could have the ability to become pregnant, would you? Genuine question. Or would you happily be in women’s shoes concerning ‘consequences’ from sex (pregnancy and birth is 100% on you)?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 09:36 PM
5

Are these average men going for women who are their looksmatch? You see average and unattractive couples outside literally all the time
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 09:33 PM
0

In theory, yes everyone should be equal. But genuinely how do we actually achieve this when there are distinct biological differences? Like pregnancy and childbirth are often very hard on women. Men don’t really have an equivalence to this. What could theoretically make this equal and fair? Because just saying women are made for it and they should deal with it on top of everything else isn’t actually equal
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 09:30 PM
1

Personally, I think children should always be prioritized to be protected. Those who are able bodied and physically capable should protect and do what they can (men and women). Those that have disabilities or who cannot meaningfully contribute wouldn’t be able to help much, so I’d also throw them in with children By physically capable, we also need to keep in mind that due to biology men are generally going to always be stronger. I do think it’s a responsibility similar to how women can only get…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 07:17 PM
5

So would you want a woman to date a man she’s not attracted to and the relationship be a deadbedroom? Seems like most men would have a problem with that. If they’re cool with no sex, then sure. But I’m not really sure why you’d want a partner that’s not attracted to or aroused by you 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 05:35 PM
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When I say ‘insecure’, I’m more referring to actions. For example, does he get jealous easily? How does he manage that? Does he need constant reassurance or is he able to self regulate? Most people are insecure about something, but healthy people don’t make it a problem in their relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 07:50 PM
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Depends on the woman, but why would that be a problem? As long as they aren’t insecure and are willing to learn, no issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 07:31 PM
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Maybe so. But for instance, say you’ve done a MMF in your past serious relationship and it was the cause of the breakup due to jealousy or something. Surely you’d want your current partner to understand that and not push for it, right? If it’s genuinely something they need, then they can breakup, but pushing for it just because you happened to do it before, even when it previously had a bad outcome, seems insensitive Fair. But I don’t understand why men seem to want women to do things that are u…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 07:10 PM
–

Why do you want to do sex acts that hurt your partner? You don’t want your partner to enjoy sex with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 06:01 PM
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Threesomes can damage a relationship tho, so both parties need to be completely on board. It needs to be brought up early on if you aren’t actually monogamous. Doing group sex outside of committed relationships is different from doing it in a casual one. Now if she did it in a previous committed relationship and it didn’t cause issues that led to it falling apart, I agree with you. Oral sex, for the most part, I agree with you. But if it’s more extreme or one-sides, I can see how women take an i…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 05:59 PM
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Exactly this! Even if it were my greatest fantasy, I wouldn’t do it because I love him and don’t want him in pain or to be injured. There’s absolutely 0 pleasure in that even if he ‘consents’ because sex should be mutually enjoyable. The fact that this apparently isn’t how most men here think is scary
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 05:39 PM
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If you were injured or hated that experience, you think it’s reasonable that you go through that for the rest of your life? Interesting take
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 05:37 PM
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Read it again. I said physical injury. The better question would be, why do you want to do something that actively harms the person you care about? So basically, women should just never explore sexually at all then. Just stick to plain sex and then they can’t be asked for other sex acts, correct? That way, men should not be pushing for sex acts beyond the basics, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 05:34 PM
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What counts as ‘simple sex acts’ here tho? If you’re referring to vaginal sex and oral sex, I agree. Past that, it really depends on your partner’s comfort level. Anal, for example, can be painful for some people no matter how much they prep. And a lot of men around here, when referring to ‘kinky’ sex or sex acts, seem to only be talking about anal or BDSM (where the woman is the one having pain inflicted on her) If you’re just talking about basic positions, oral, or light kinks like lingerie an…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 05:28 PM
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Did throwing the party cause you physical harm or result in injury? If a woman wanted to peg you with a bottle, would you let her? It’s what you should do to keep her satisfied, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 05:23 PM
–

Very true. That’s something completely different tho imo
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:58 PM
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Being attracted to you doesn’t mean that she’ll be enthusiastic about hurting herself tho. That would be genuinely unhealthy. Having sexual boundaries doesn’t mean a woman isn’t attracted to you (I’m not talking about women who dangle sex on a hook or who act like sex is a chore). For example, surely there’s sex acts you aren’t willing to try, right? Even if you were incredibly attracted to your partner, would you really let them do anything to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:50 PM
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If a woman is genuinely bragging about enjoying it and then is now refusing to you, then sure. But I’ve seen a lot of men on here claim that even if she were pressured or hated it, she should still do it. Which is just strange to want to have sex with someone that’s not enjoying it
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:44 PM
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Fair enough. Just genuinely doesn’t make sense imo
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:41 PM
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This is my problem too. What do these men mean by ‘kinky’? Like can their woman want to shove a bottle up their ass and peg him and that’s what he’s interested in? Or bondage but she wants to tie him up? Or are they just referring to acts that are unpleasant for most women? I have a feeling it’s the latter, but maybe I’m wrong Just bizarre, because by their own definition, they are ‘vanilla’ if they don’t want to be dominated 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:36 PM
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Okay but look at it this way—say your partner needs to peg you and degrade you to be sexually satisfied. Would you let them? If not, that’s literally how a lot of women feel when men ask for things like anal since it’s literally unpleasant and downright painful for most women. If women pushed for that, then yeah, it’s abuse A lot of sex acts men seem to want around here are acts that are painful or degrading for women and likely things they wouldn’t dream of doing for their woman if she asked. M…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:32 PM
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Tbh, I think if this was clearly specified as just being about consistent sex, including oral (for both parties), most women wouldn’t be up in arms. But on this sub a lot of the men here seem to believe it’s not enough. She has to be their version of ‘kinky’, willing to do anal, engage in BDSM (as the sub) etc. So not a big surprise that that’s what a lot of women are thinking here
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:29 PM
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But people can learn and change from bad choices, right? Lots of young people do stupid shit because they don’t realize, and they don’t continue to do so after they’ve learned from it. It’s not infantilizing for young adults to make mistakes and learn to stand up for themselves and set boundaries Let’s say a young man is in his first relationship and his gf hits him and he doesn’t stop her. They eventually breakup and he learns it was abuse, and he will no longer tolerate being hit. Does this me…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:20 PM
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Genuine question because I’m having a hard time understanding their logic—what was their reasoning for not doing these things with you if they genuinely enjoyed it? Just vibes? Attraction issues? If they weren’t coerced, or if it wasn’t an issue of them being afraid of rising the relationship (due to jealousy or something), it doesn’t make much sense
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:18 PM
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I agree. It also depends what you mean by ‘worse’ tho. For example, if your partner tried a sex act one time with their ex and realized it wasn’t for them or got injured from it, not wanting to do it isn’t treating your partner worse. Wanting your parter to do a sex act that actively harms them seems a bit strange, as I imagine decent people would want to have mutually enjoyable sex. It’s like if you tried sashimi one time with an ex and hated it, should you be forced to go out and eat that with…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:10 PM
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I mean, ofc past experiences play a part in how you are. That’s how life works and someone who claims to be completely unchanged is either clueless, isn’t honest with themselves, or hasn’t grown as a person. All of which are major problems Now, you should work to not bring in anything toxic to a new relationship or punish your partner for things a previous partner did. This doesn’t mean tho, that changing due to growing means you are punishing your partner. There’s a pretty big difference. Like …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:48 PM
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Something like anal sex can literally lead to injuries that can cause longterm or permanent damage. Would you be able to do that to your partner? If it doesn’t hurt them, then sure. But if it genuinely hurts/injured them, why would you even want that?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:21 PM
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What counts as ‘worse’ tho? If a man went continuously into debt and made terrible financial decisions, he wouldn’t be treating a new partner ‘worse’ if he stopped doing so. Same with a woman who may have tried specific sex acts that either injured them or they found they didn’t enjoy. I’d imagine most decent people wouldn’t enjoy sex with a partner that’s actively in pain or not enjoying it as well
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:20 PM
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What I’m confused about is how or why would specific details of previous relationships ever come up? Are you specifically asking or are people bringing it up unprompted? It’s bizarre
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:18 PM
31

Yeah, wondering this too. Wouldn’t a husband also be caring and be willing to have a nice meal ready if his wife worked hard? Most women aren’t able to stay at home
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 07:43 PM
–

Did you inform her when you changed your mind? Honestly tho, why stay married? Like, do you even love your wife if you can watch her cry and not care?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 07:16 PM
5

It really depends what you mean here by ‘duty’? Depending on where you live, cultural norms may play a part, but there really isn’t a ‘duty’ for men to pay imo. It can lower your odds of dating specific women, but if you don’t want to, then you aren’t compatible with those women anyways I’d say it’s the same ‘duty’ that women feel when they have to spend so much money to look good on dates. Do all men expect this? No. But there’s still a lot of pressure on women to
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 08:13 PM
5

This isn’t why all men do this tho. I’ve talked to my husband about this topic a couple times, and he’s genuinely seemed confused about being upset about paying. He said that in his view, he sees it as ‘treating’ someone and being kind
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 04:56 PM
10

I mean, if you don’t want to pay, then don’t pay. If the girl you’re seeing has a problem with it, then you just aren’t compatible and you’re not right for each other. If you’re wanting to establish that you won’t pay before the date, there’s not really a lot of options you have to not appear ‘tacky’. Like personally when I dated, I never expected men to pay for the date and always go dutch. But if they were to ever say that prior to the date, I’d decline
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 04:51 PM
5

What do you mean by ‘work more’? The median salary in the US is like 50k. I forgot the exact stat but only like 19% of workers make 6 figures. Are you saying a woman should neglect her child and work 2 jobs? How can a woman ‘work more’ and not neglect the child? Genuinely, I’m asking as there’s only 24 hours in a day and people need sleep Single fathers also tend to not fare well unless they’re lucky to be in a high paying field. The point is that single parenthood and raising children on a sing…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 10:10 PM
12

The same goes the other way tho. Men should keep it in their pants if they don’t want a baby. If you genuinely have an issue with this, then vote for someone to make the change. Try and force child support to be illegal. You’re free to try, but again, that leaves the massive problem. What happens to babies that grow up in poverty? Would you support in increase in taxes? There has to be some sort of safety net
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 09:54 PM
11

So then would you say the government should pay? Or that services children need become free? I understand your point, but what’s the solution that doesn’t put the child in a bad spot? Imo, carrying a pregnancy and paying for your child aren’t remotely comparable. The only exception would be if a man were raped or had his bc (condoms) tampered with intentionally. If someone knows they don’t want children, they should take measures they can to avoid it (bc for women and condoms for men. And no, ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 09:48 PM
12

There’s not really anything that’s remotely similar to having something growing inside of you. If men could carry the pregnancy instead, then they will get the ‘right’ to abort
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 09:46 PM
3

I did when I was dating. And the offer has always been genuine. Most men I’ve dated have insisted tho, so I cover whatever our next activity is I will say tho, that I’ve had several men get nasty or even threatening when I used to insist to pay. So it’s definitely something women need to consider. There are also a lot of men who take it as a sign of disinterest when it’s not
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 06:30 PM
0

The other commenter explained it pretty fucking well. If you can’t understand it, no one can help, I’m sorry. Romantic feelings exist just like platonic and sexual ones do. That’s the point If you have a friend and have sex with them, are you suddenly in a committed relationship? For most people, no. Because there’s no romantic feelings for that person
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 02:27 AM
3

I’m not entirely sure what you’re going on about tbh. Can you please point out where in my original comment that I said to have romantic feelings but never have sex? The point was that it’s not black and white as platonic vs sexual. Romantic feelings exist. If they aren’t important to you or something you’re capable of feeling, then that’s you and you should pursue someone similar It’s also rather telling that you assume everyone behaves and thinks the same way as you do. Very narrow minded
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:10 PM
3

It’s not that simple tho—there are also romantic feelings which are neither platonic or sexual
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 10:35 PM
–

How would you define ‘fault’?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 10:32 PM
2

Eh, personally, if I lied to my partner and he wanted to leave because of that, I’d understand and wouldn’t try and stop or convince him to stay. It’s a deserved outcome imo
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 04:19 PM
2

No, my question was more—if he found out that you lied about your body count to him and wanted to divorce, would you be upset or try to get him not to? Or would you understand?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 04:15 PM
2

Very interesting! I’d imagine most people would find it offputting if a someone lied to just be with them. I see. Theoretically, if your partner found out and wanted to leave, would you believe that that is justified?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 04:06 PM
7

Very true. I’m just kinda surprised by people that do lie for something like this. Seems like it wouldn’t lead to the best outcome
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 04:04 PM
2

I love his sense of morality and how he genuinely cares about people, how he’ll constantly go out of his way to help people in small, but impactful ways. I love his hugs and how he likes to just relax in bed and blab about nothing when we have nothing to do. I adore his playfulness when it’s just us, and how protective he is of those he cares about, and how much he adores and dotes on our kids, and I love how empathetic and how willing he is to be vulnerable with me. There’s so much I adore abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 04:00 PM
2

Genuinely tho, why would you want to be with someone that would judge you anyways? And on top of that, if it would be a dealbreaker for him, you’re essentially manipulating him into a relationship with you as you’re not letting him make an informed decision. That’s kinda bizarre if you’re wanting a genuine relationship and care about the person I’m really curious, if the man you wanted had hidden things (had cosmetic surgery) or lied about his interests just so he could be with you, would you be…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 03:43 PM
3

It doesn’t determine your worth, but if a partner would have a problem with it, then you are just incompatible. Why would you even want to be with someone that would judge that anyways? It doesn’t make much sense
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 03:41 PM
1

Just wondering, but if you try and break it off or leave, those men won’t let you (like physically won’t allow you to leave)?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 03:36 PM
2

But why would you want to be with someone that would judge that? It means you’re incompatible
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 03:35 PM
9

I mean, genuinely tho, why lie? Why would you even want to be with a man that cares? It just means you’re incompatible
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 03:33 PM
6

Genuinely, why lie tho? That’s just pushing to be in a relationship with someone you aren’t compatible with and taking away their ability to make an informed decision on the relationship. They’re essentially only in a relationship with you because they were purposefully misled. Why not seek out someone who understands or has similar values (like if a woman is a virgin or only has been with an ex partner, why pursue that if the subject is important to them)?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 03:30 PM
13

Because attraction doesn’t only refer to sexual desire? That’s fine if that’s how it is for you, but it’s not really like that for most people
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 12:04 AM
1

This take is so strange to me. So in your opinion, if a man has his hair cut and styled a specific way to look more attractive, is that him being dishonest? Is a man growing a beard to hide a weak chin dishonest? If he decides to get facial piercings is he being dishonest?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 01:04 AM
1

True. Niceness isn’t the same as kindness, however
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 12:26 AM
1

How is hair dye or makeup deception tho? How is it any different from wearing a certain style of clothing, or getting tattoos or piercings? If they’re explicitly doing certain things to try and deceive men, then sure. But most men can understand that eyeliner isn’t natural or that pink hair isn’t real
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 08:44 PM
2

But honestly, why is that a problem? Those people are still able to date and get into relationships, right? I think a big problem is that when people complain about ‘not getting attention’ or not being able to date, it’s because they’re aiming for conventionally attractive people that everyone else also wants. They’ll ignore the average or below average person that would be available for a relationship because they focus so much on physical attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 06:15 PM
2

How’s it ‘virtue signaling’ tho? If you ask a woman what she’s attracted to, and she’s attracted to someone’s personality and considers that the most important to her, that’s just her being honest. These likely aren’t the same women that are actively pursuing ‘chads’
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 04:57 PM
5

There are literally women out there who date obese men (who aren’t rich). So yeah, there are people in the world who do date and are attracted to someone based on personality For most people, it’s a mixture of both. If you look outside, most couples are average and maybe even below average. And not all of them are going to be miserable and unhappy. Most people should date their ‘looks match’, if you’re average, why are you going for a woman that’s literally an influencer on social media
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 04:54 PM
1

The point is about how statistics on their own, without any context are pretty useless as they don’t show the whole picture, or even a decent part of it. It’s to show that if you give more grace to the study on why men abandon their kids so often, that same grace needs to be extended to the women who divorce. If you can’t acknowledge that men (or your team, so to speak) can play at least some kind of role in why divorces are so high, that’s you being biased For example, if a man leaves his wife …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 04:48 PM
2

The average young woman is still overweight tho if you do a quick search. Women aged 20-29 are on average around 170lbs, which is typically considered overweight. Even if we try and argue that it’s only the 26-29 year old that are skewing this, the average woman isn’t in shape or attractive enough to have a large following (so they’d have an average or relatively bland face). Are these the women you’re referring to?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 04:39 PM
2

You didn’t answer my question, which is interesting. Very true, they did choose to leave. But again, would you say the same about the stats on men that actively want custody of their own children? They may have their reasons why, but most men do not actively want or pursue custody of their own children. This needs to be accepted as well, right? Men are deciding to not go for custody of their children at high rates, and by your own logic, the ‘why’ shouldn’t matter
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 04:35 PM
2

The average woman in the US (if that’s where you’re located) is overweight. So if you’re referring to women that are relatively in shape or have any sort of following on social media, they are, by definition, above average
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 04:30 PM
2

Where in my comment did I state that men are at fault? Can you please quote me? I’m merely pointing out that statistics alone are meaningless. For example, the stat about how many men actually fight for custody, I do believe that there are valid reasons why it’s so low, such as men being told/pressured into giving it up. But do you extend women the same courtesy on that stat you provided? Actually, why is me bringing up that stat so upsetting to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 04:28 PM
4

You didn’t answer my question. Are you referring to all women or just women you fond attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 04:11 PM
6

Women are attracted to different things tho. Some women who answer on reddit genuinely might be attracted to someone’s personality and don’t really value physical appearance. This isn’t automatically a ‘lie’ when you see a woman in real life focus more on physical appearance. All women are not the same and that’s why you’ll get contradictory answers The women I know who really value physical attraction over other aspects are very vocal about this. I also know women who think it’s shallow and put…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 03:58 PM
5

Are you referring to all women or just conventionally attractive women? Because you still see many average to unattractive couples out and about. If you aren’t conventionally attractive, then you shouldn’t really be surprised that attractive women are only interested in men that are their looks match
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 03:54 PM
8

Once again, have you ever thought about the ‘why’ behind those stats? Taking the numbers at face value is meaningless. There’s also a study that says that only 8% of men want custody of their children. Do you also take that stat at face value and not question it?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 03:51 PM
7

Why bother getting married tho? Men can get into poly relationships if they aren’t monogamous or stay in casual relationships to be with many women. There’s no reason to lie to someone and hurt them when there are plenty of options for them
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 03:47 PM
3

What do you define as actual desire tho? For many women, their ultimate desire in life isn’t the most ‘objectively attractive’ man they see. Are you using ‘desire’ just to describe ‘lust’?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:17 PM
6

Attraction can and often does go deeper than looks tho. Physical attraction is just one aspect of being attracted to someone (unless you’re someone that only cares about physical appearance) For a lot of people, physical attraction isn’t the most important.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:14 PM
0

When you’re talking about ‘women’s standards’, are you also including unattractive or overweight women? Are you also pursuing and interested in those women?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:03 PM
0

Genuine question—what kind of women are you pursuing? If you’re so convinced that you can’t date because of your height, are you going for unattractive women?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:00 PM
9

I wouldn’t leave. I’m married and deeply in love with my husband. I plan to grow old with him until one of us passes, and that incudes staying even when we’re all wrinkly and maybe even fat. Attraction goes much deeper than physical appearance
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 12:29 AM
2

Do most women not hug/kiss/cuddle/touch men that they’re dating? That seems a bit unlikely to me. I can understand that most men don’t receive affection outside of a romantic relationship, but sex shouldn’t be the only way Just like hugging and cuddling, sex is hot and sweaty too. There’s always kissing as well. I’ve never really heard of women being so cold to men they’re actively dating, but maybe it’s a recent thing? Like just to be clear, the women you date won’t even hug or kiss you at all.…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 09:07 PM
1

What do you mean? I never said that men are automatically wrong or that women are always right. I’m saying that if you’re dating, you should enjoy both hanging out (outside of sex) and having sex. I’ve noticed a lot of men claim that hanging out/going on dates are ‘a waste of time’ if there’s no sex. That’s what I’m referring to If a woman has a ‘what do I get out of it’ mentality, I’d say the exact same thing to her
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 08:59 PM
0

But the thing is, if you have an issue with women like that, why not just filter them out? If you want to have sex quickly, then you just aren’t compatible with women that prefer to wait. No one’s in the wrong and you don’t have to date those women. I just don’t understand why so many men are angry that some women do this? If you ever meet one, you can walk away and find someone actually compatible
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 08:41 PM
2

Of course. But it’s weird when some men have this mentality of ‘what do I get out of it?’ when there’s a nice date but no sex. You should have ‘gotten’ the nice time hanging out together, the same as what the woman ‘got’ out of it
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 08:39 PM
1

I’ve only ever heard about women like that from men and from what they’ve said, it eventually comes out that those women were very promiscuous and they weren’t the exceptions. I’m sure true exceptions exist, but I’d be curious about the reason why. Someone doing something out of fear, for example, doesn’t seem like something to promote or even want
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 07:03 PM
1

What about boundaries a woman has for everyone? Because breaking them would likely lead to her being hurt?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:53 PM
0

I see. I thought you were referring to sexual boundaries a woman might have, like wanting a woman to ignore hard sexual boundaries even if it harms them physically or mentally.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:48 PM
4

Same here. I’ve had several men on this sub who won’t even believe that my husband and I both work and make around the same. They literally insist that I must be using him for something or that he’s suffering because I must have a low libido. I don’t think they can see outside of their narrow world view
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:44 PM
1

Would you even be able to enjoy sex with a woman who’s only doing something sexually for you because she feels forced or pressured? Even if this traumatizes her, that would still be ideal to do to your partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:32 PM
1

Tbf tho, if this is the case, why are there so many men complaining about not being able to date/get laid/get any interest from women? I don’t disagree with you, but it’s interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:28 PM
2

I mean, that’s still a specific type of woman. The same way that most women have interacted with a toxic man that’s pushy for sex. It’s not all men but most women have had this experience at least once
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:25 PM
2

You shouldn’t be going on dates for sex tho. Going on dates should be for mutual enjoyment just like sex. You should enjoy hanging out with the person you’re dating even outside of sex
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:24 PM
1

Why is this so hard to fathom? Sure, some women will sleep immediately with attractive men. But there are also women who don’t have sex early on with anyone. Generalizing really isn’t helpful
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:22 PM
2

Exactly this. I do not feel safe or connected early on and have next to no interest in sex. However, once there’s a connection and I trust them, I typically have the higher libido. Been in my marriage for 10+ years now and still have the higher libido between my husband and I
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:18 PM
0

How? Demi-sexual just means that they need to have an emotional connection before they feel sexual attraction. Once that attraction develops, they can have a high drive. Like personally, I need to have a strong emotional attachment before I want sex, but now in my marriage my preferred frequency is 1-3 a day, which is higher than my husband’s preferred amount (maybe that’s ‘low’ but from what I’ve read and heard from others, doesn’t seem to be the case)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:03 PM
6

Demi-sexual women do enjoy sex tho with their partners. It just takes time to build an emotional connection, but once it’s there, it doesn’t mean they have a low drive
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 04:20 PM
–

Do you believe that this line of thinking should also be applied to every other crime?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 01:14 PM
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How do you prove this? I don’t disagree with you, but this just isn’t realistic. Are you wanting to change law to be guilty until proven innocent? If so, then every crime should be treated this way, including rape. Which means men will need to prove they didn’t rape their accuser. If you have an issue with that, then that’s interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 01:08 PM
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What if the woman genuinely believes that the child is her partner’s, but is wrong?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 01:03 PM
1

Would you say the same thing to men who date terrible women and put up with abuse just because she’s attractive? That they have no right to complain?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 04:28 AM
1

Genuinely, what is the outcome that you’d want in this situation? If a woman wants to date men she’s actually attracted to, is that a problem? Wouldn’t dating someone you aren’t attracted to end up as a deadbedroom or resentment? I’m assuming that you’d also want to pursue a woman you’re attracted to
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 01:16 AM
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You do you, best of luck
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 03:31 PM
–

I have not once seen a comment wishing ill on neurodivergent people on this sub. Do you have a link to such a comment? And no, not wanting to have sex with or date an autistic man is not treating him badly. I’ve seen some comments talking about how they won’t date autistic men, but I’ve also seen comments calling obese and ugly women disgusting and pigs. Which is also bullying, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 03:27 PM
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How do you mean? Invisible disabilities are disabilities. Do you have a specific disability you’re referring to here?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 03:15 PM
1

So you understand how they feel, and yet you want them to suffer? That’s your stance?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 11:31 PM
1

So you can’t empathize with people different from yourself? Good to know!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 10:13 PM
0

If you don’t care about other people, go live alone in the woods then
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 08:44 PM
1

So just to be clear, you believe that people with disabilities deserve to live in poverty and die?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 08:40 PM
1

Then by all means, take it!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 07:01 PM
1

If needing to empty your balls is causing genuine pain to the point that you vomit or faint, sure. Totally fine imo
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 06:54 PM
2

It really depends. Like personally, I can’t work through migraines because mine severely impact vision (so just because you can work through migraines, it doesn’t mean everyone can). Some people have period pains that can cause them to vomit and be bedridden. I didn’t have endometriosis, but before I had my first child, my periods were so painful on the first day that I literally could not even stand from the pain or I’d be vomiting. I’ve passed out a couple times from the pain too. So taking si…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 06:44 PM
1

Yes, they should get equal time off for medical reasons such as chronic pain. If they have genuine pain every month, then they absolutely are entitled to getting that as sick time
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 06:43 PM
0

How would you suggest that people with disabilities survive then? If accommodations cost more, then what should happen to those with severe health issues or disabilities? How do we keep them out of poverty?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 06:37 PM
2

Only have sex in committed relationships and have only been with 2 men. Both times had sex after around 4 months
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 06:33 PM
7

Men can complain about not having access to sex, sure. Imo it’s only a problem when it gets spun into blaming women, pushing for women to have sex they don’t want, or promoting unethical means to have sex (lying about intentions, for example) If men just are like, ‘it sucks that I’m mot having sex’, or’I wish I could have more sex’, or whatever, I don’t think most people should care. It really depends on how those men complain and talk about it
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 06:25 PM
8

Why are you getting so aggressive here? I’m trying to ask you how we can do this in a way that is fair and protects the victims. And yes, we do need evidence for a crime. But I’m asking you genuinely, how would you go about proving that your partner raped you if they weren’t overtly violent and left physical damage? Do you at least understand how asking for solid proof isn’t going to be possible most of the time? This is all I’m asking here. Not saying to lock up innocent people, but we need to …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 04:56 PM
8

Ok, but genuine question—do you understand exactly how traumatizing rape and sexual assault can be? And you’re blaming those victims for not being able to be mentally ok after going through that? The whole point I’m trying to make is that sexual assaults are notorious for being more difficult to prove. So we need to handle them differently than other crimes (especially if it’s between intimate partners). Obviously, we don’t lock people up based on only one person’s word, but we shouldn’t let peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 04:46 PM
8

The thing is, what if the event was so traumatizing that the victim literally shuts down/has panic attacks/or is just unable to mentally go thru this? What should happen? If someone cannot go through the process because of the trauma, do we wait and see if their mental health can recover first, and only then it goes to trial? I agree that ideally, they should go through the process. But in cases where they can’t mentally handle it, what should happen?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 04:38 PM
10

Very true. Which is why I’m curious on what kind of evidence OP is talking about. How could a woman prove that she didn’t consent to ‘rough’ sex if that’s what the man claims?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 04:18 PM
14

I get what you’re saying, but typically sexual abuse cases are harder to prove. Unless it was violent, for example, how could a woman prove that her partner forced her to have sex? Like what evidence could she provide if she had a freeze or fawn response? Or if she had vaginal trauma, how could she prove that she didn’t consent to ‘rough sex’ if that’s what her partner decided to say?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 04:14 PM
4

That wasn’t my question. I asked if sex looked like that for most men, do you think they would still prioritize sex the same way?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 02:37 AM
6

Genuine question—do you think most men that hookup or do casual sex don’t orgasm during these encounters? Do you believe that if sex ended with you going down on a woman and her finishing, that most men would be down for that? Yes or no?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 10:17 PM
4

So you think women should have sex even when they don’t want to or aren’t comfortable?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 10:11 PM
4

I was these things in my 20s. Back then I wanted a man my age, was in a similar industry (film) or at least had an active interest in it, was a healthy weight and took care of himself, and had the same values and goals
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 11:26 PM
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I’d say the same thing if a woman is dating a man much younger than her. The issue is mainly that younger people have much less life experience (sure, not always). This makes them much easier to ‘mold’, manipulate, or create power dynamics with, as they often don’t know what bad behavior to look out for. Like, just curious, but have you been in a relationship with a much older person when you were a young adult? Many people who have later realize that they should have left sooner but didn’t know…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 10:15 PM
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We aren’t talking about what’s ‘legal’. It’s about morals. If I know that someone is immature and easy to manipulate, I’m not going to take advantage of that. It’s not illegal, but no decent person would do that Like genuine question—if ‘older women’ don’t bash men who go for younger women, but only advise the younger women of red flags to look out for/look out for the woman, would you have a problem with this?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 06:23 PM
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Yeah, I don’t think OP realizes that ‘older’ women were once young women too. They’ve likely experienced being manipulated by older men. Most of the time when I see an older woman bothered by this, they just try and advise the younger woman to try and help. Not all age differences are predatory but a lot are. And a lot of women experience this
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 06:20 PM
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Is not wanting to date you considered disrespect?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 09:07 PM
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If you want women like that, then you’re free to pursue those women. Many people are not going to be so hyperfixated on sex, however, that they will be willing to endure a shitty or abusive relationship for it. You will be able to find women with low self confidence or women who only prioritize sex, so as long as your leave other women alone, no problem
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 06:28 PM
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Exactly this. Unfortunately, I think a lot of men here only consider ‘great sex’ to be focused on their own pleasure and see their partners as essentially sex dolls
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 05:06 PM
1

Where did we downplay the importance of sex? Sex is important. Just as important as the other aspects of a relationship. Why are you downplaying the significance of the non-sexual aspects? Are they not important to a relationship just as sex is?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 04:59 PM
2

Re-read your previous comment. How is this a clear question? “Sure sure, what are aromantic love and feelings towards a friend that can make him so called close one?” Aromantic? And the grammar makes no sense. But the point is that romantic feelings is what makes it different from a friendship. Not just sex. It’s both. A lot of men on here try and argue that it’s only sex
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 04:58 PM
2

What?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 04:42 PM
2

Some men on this sub have said this exact thing tho (and I highly doubt that they are the only men to ever feel this way). A while back, I asked if they would consider a friend that they exclusively have sex with (a FWB) as being the same as a loving relationship. Several men chimed in and said there was no difference between a FWB and a relationship. A lot of men really do only value sex
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 04:39 PM
2

It’s romantic love and romantic feelings that separate a close friend from a partner. A partner is someone you have romantic and sexual feelings for. Sexual and romantic feelings can and often do intertwine, but they are not the same
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 04:33 PM
8

Yup. But there are men on here that have said there’s no difference between FWB and a relationship to them. It’s eye opening tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 04:06 PM
10

Without shared goals, emotional connection, and non sexual affection, a marriage is dead. All of it is important to maintain. If you’re just friends that have sex, but there’s no commitment or longterm goals, that’s not a relationship for most people
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 03:55 PM
0

So just to be clear, you don’t believe that things should change? That things are fine as they are?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 10:01 PM
0

If having a plethora of options is causing more men to struggle with finding a partner, what is the solution to help those men? If women won’t lower their standards, what would you like to happen?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 09:24 PM
1

And there’s nothing wrong with those statements. Data supports these things, so I don’t really see an issue when they are stated? As long as people aren’t trying to say that all men and women are doing those things, I don’t see what the problem is
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 09:23 PM
0

Would you prefer for people to date those that they aren’t attracted to then? What is the solution?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 08:10 PM
1

Both can be true tho, right? A woman is more likely to be sexually abused by a man and not a woman, right? A man is more likely to be violently assaulted by another man. This doesn’t mean all men are like this. It’s strange to me on why that statement is so upsetting. It quite literally says ‘not all men’. Why is it bad to point out that women are mostly sexually abused by men? Is it wrong and women are actually being sexually assaulted by women?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 08:09 PM
3

But that’s the thing. What if most women would be happier to be single than to ‘settle’ for a man they don’t want. This will result in many men not finding a partner. So what would you say the solution would be?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 05:56 PM
6

Not wanting to be hurt or degraded during sex doesn’t make someone prudish. Would you also say that a man who doesn’t want to be degraded is prudish?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 04:41 PM
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If there’s no other incidents and the relationship is solid, then forgetting a birthday isn’t a big deal. It happens. The only way that would be a dealbreaker and I would end the relationship is if I felt like I wasn’t being appreciated or listened to and neglected. Then it wouldn’t even be about that incident. It’d just be the straw that broke the camel’s back
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 08:34 PM
5

This is just a compatibility thing. You should be yourself and find a partner who likes that. Why hide it to push to be with an incompatible partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 05:31 PM
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And they don’t even care that sperm health has a direct influence on the woman’s pregnancy. Unhealthy sperm can literally put the mother at increased risk too, but I doubt this is ever considered or cared about
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 04:58 PM
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Don’t a lot of men frequently say that single moms are ‘for recreational use only’ and shit like that? Men have made it pretty clear that they’ll have sex with women they would never actually be in a relationship with. Most women don’t want to be used for sex like that. Seeing that men would have sex with you doesn’t really mean much unless it’s from a man that sees sex as love
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 04:52 PM
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There are also cases where the husband wants a divorce but makes no actual plan for it so the wife ends up being the one to file. I know someone who this happened to. Husband wanted a divorce and was already living with his other woman, but never did file, just walked out. This isn’t a one off case either. There’s also cases where they might have asked for help repeatably but were ignored over a period of time. This will inevitably lead to resentment, and I see a lot of men who say that women do…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 04:41 PM
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Are you saying that women should stay with husbands who cheat, abuse, and treat them terribly? A lot of times the husband wants a divorce but the wife has to file because he won’t. The stat is just on who actually submitted the paperwork, not who is ending or wants to end the marriage
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 04:38 PM
4

But what if those women couldn’t be happy with lowering their standards and would rather be alone? Should they be forced to?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 04:29 PM
9

What would the solution look like to you? Surely you wouldn’t advocate for women to date men they don’t want to
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 08:01 AM
9

How do you know it’s a majority? Can you link any studies?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 09:50 PM
7

That’s one person. Impatient people exist, but there are also plenty of patient people out there
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 09:29 PM
3

You can learn with them tho? I fail to see how this is a problem unless you’re just impatient
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 08:57 PM
6

Personally, no because I don’t view sex as a casual activity. So removing the risks would be nice and I’d be happy for women who do like casual, but it would not make me want to participate.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 08:56 PM
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Again, why would I care? I’m not looking to be with them. I don’t need their approval. I aim to be attractive to my husband because his attention and opinion is the one I value. Why would anyone need validation from other men/women if they’re happy in their relationship? I can’t understand why you’d value other women’s opinions when you have a partner
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 04:30 AM
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No? Why would I care? I’d care if my husband found me unattractive. But the others? Not really. Now if it were like a hygiene issue or coming across like a bum, then yeah. Because that makes not only me look bad, but my family look bad too. But caring that my friend’s partners are attracted to me? No, because the only man’s attention I care about and need is my husbands
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 04:21 AM
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But why does it matter? Your partner’s attraction to you should be what’s important. I don’t even see why someone in a relationship would even be thinking about other men/women or what they think if they’re actually into their partner
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 04:11 AM
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I mean it really depends, right? Most of my friend’s partners I can honestly say I don’t find attractive. My friend obviously think they’re hot, but to me? Nah. Same for my husband. When I first showed them, they were like ‘oh, not my type’ and that was kinda the similar response I had to their partners. But the thought doesn’t go beyond that. If they’re happy and attracted to their partner, then that’s what matters
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 04:08 AM
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If around my height (5’9) is tall to you, then yeah sure. But also like, these are friends of mine. They even admit themselves that the men aren’t attractive, but they were horny and wanted someone that specific night. It does happen. Maybe not as often as men do this, but it does happen
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 02:58 PM
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No, I mean that I’ve seen them go home with men that match the stereotypical ‘weeb’ at an anime convention (very overweight, bad style, long and sometimes greasy hair, unattractive face etc). Are all men trolls? Obviously not. Average looking men are relatively attractive too. But some women will go home with men that would be considered unattractive by most women You don’t need to be a model to not be a troll. Even if you’re a little chubby, that’s still attractive. I’m using troll very specifi…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 02:52 PM
0

Uhh, in my friend’s cases, I can only recall two that were not overweight. All of them were between the heights of 5’4-5’10 (so ig a little above average). And we don’t live in the country or in a small town. So these men are ‘chads’?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 02:23 PM
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Not all women tho. And if men want to do this without asking, I don’t want to see any complaints if they ever get reported for assault. Many women don’t like rough sex at all. Not everyone wants to be hurt and injured during sex. Not sure why you’re wanting to hurt women during sex, but ok
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 02:20 PM
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Have you met any hypersexual women? I have, and when they’re horny, I’ve literally seen them go home with some absolute trolls. So yes, it happens
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 02:19 PM
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Like, 2-3 a month. So maybe a little more than those men, but they definitely aren’t swimming in matches like the guys here think
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 02:15 PM
4

I mean that they are willing to potentially traumatize someone just so their ‘needs’ are met. If there were a way to guarantee that the sex worker they were seeing is doing it because they genuinely want to, and NOT because they desperately need the money or were somehow forced into this, then I could understand. Personally, I do not see sex as being the same as another labor job. It has more inherent risks and is way more intimate for most people. As sex work is now, I just don’t see any way it…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 05:14 AM
1

In that case, it’s no better. They’re putting their wants first regardless of if it hurts someone. I would never willingly be with a partner like that. I would never be able to respect someone that can be that selfish
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:47 AM
2

You don’t care about treating people as people? Are you on the spectrum by any chance? Being willing to harm people isn’t a good thing
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:41 AM
1

What do you mean? I’m saying that if you have to lie for a woman to have sex with you, you are taking away her ability to make an informed decision. Like if a woman had an STD, would you have sex with her? How would you feel if she hid that because she thought you would say no if you knew the truth?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:40 AM
1

But what if a woman wouldn’t have sex unless it’s a relationship and has only ever done it that way? If you lie to her face, you’re removing her ability to make an informed decision and treating her as an object
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:38 AM
1

Ot really depends. For how they view sex, even if they also view it as an emotional connection, I’m not compatible with someone that can separate it and treat it as only physical. Every sexual encounter for me is only about connection and love. I do not want a partner that can have sex purely for pleasure; they are not compatible with me For the gamble part, could you elaborate?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:36 AM
0

What’s the way you care about? If you have to lie, you still aren’t being validated by her. If you’re being honest, or even vague, then sure
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:29 AM
2

I mean, you also need permission to do things like spanking or anything past vanilla sex with a partner. Springing anything like hitting or choking without talking about it first is shitty
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:27 AM
0

If you lie to have sex tho, she isn’t actually attracted to you. She’s attracted to the lie you presented and only consented to having sex with that reality. It’s extremely sketchy if you knew she wouldn’t sleep with you otherwise
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:24 AM
3

Personally, it’s a values thing. Imo there’s almost no way to guarantee that the sex worker genuinely is doing it because they want to and not because they need the money or are being coerced. Anyone who’s willing to take that gamble would not be compatible. It also shows that they view sex as something purely physical or only about pleasure, and that’s incompatible with how I view sex
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:22 AM
5

So, just to be clear, an ugly/obese man can be considered a ‘chad’ as long as he’s had many sexual partners?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 08:49 PM
6

So then what is ‘chad’ then if it doesn’t mean a man that’s physically attractive or financially well off? Ugly fat guys are ‘chads’?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 08:33 PM
4

I can’t speak for everyone, but growing up, it definitely wasn’t messaging from older women lmao. They were the most prudish about sex (like the kind to actively shame women for having sex before getting married, but not shame the men) The push for casual came mostly from media like movies/tv and social circles, and primarily from men. I still remember feeling like I’d be alone forever because every guy I knew and was friends with back then made it clear that guys only wanted the most sexually o…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 08:21 PM
0

Yes, younger people tend to be thinner than older. But the point is that there’s still a high number of overweight and obese young women (and men). Personally, in my circles it’s about the same, most of my friends are all in serious relationships. The only ones that aren’t are the less attractive ones, unfortunately
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 08:16 PM
3

Interesting. The female friends of mine that are unattractive do not get many matches at all and they aren’t even being picky
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 08:05 PM
7

If a man used to recklessly spend his money on dates and then realized it was hurting him and stopped, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Like what? He matured and learned from previous experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:58 PM
6

People do change tho? With how heavily casual sex and hooking up tends to get pushed, a lot of people think they’ll enjoy it. So they try and then find out they don’t like it. There’s nothing wrong with that, as you’re literally finding out what you actually enjoy It’s not a good sign if you haven’t changed at all since you were 18
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:55 PM
0

Something like 30-40% of women are overweight if we’re talking about the US. So if you filter them all out, that’s a pretty big chunk of women https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db360.htm
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:46 PM
7

But is ‘chad’ typically average looking at best, average finances, and aren’t considerate? I’ve had friends go thru this with men they were dating and most of those men were pretty unattractive or average at best. And not wealthy or had a great job. Are those men somehow ‘chads’?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:43 PM
2

Are these friends conventionally attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:35 PM
0

This is true. That’s why everyone needs to raise their standards and vet thoroughly for a compatible life partner and put less emphasis on shallow traits
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:34 PM
3

It really depends. From what I’ve seen, women that tend to be ‘hot’ or conventionally attractive have incredibly high standards (not all that I’ve know, but I can only think of 2 that don’t and those two also married their high school sweethearts so 🤷‍♀️). But they also can afford to. Women that are less attractive, from what I’ve seen in my social circles, are much more likely to have lower standards and be less shallow, tho I do know a couple that are a little delulu ngl
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:31 PM
0

Are those men looking to be with their looks match tho? And not treat them like a placeholder until they can get someone hotter? All the ‘incels’ I’ve known enough to try and help, have all only been interested in attractive women while they were not good looking themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:27 PM
0

Are those less attractive men going for less attractive women tho? The men I know who I’ve seen struggle with dating were insanely picky on women’s appearance. As in, if a woman as overweight or didn’t have a pretty face, they wouldn’t even consider it. Or if they did, they made it clear they would only have sex with her. Maybe not every case is like this, but it seems like a decent amount
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:26 PM
–

This is what I actively try and do. But a big issue I’ve seen multiple times is that the men I know are being pressured and shamed by other men for not ‘being a man’. And this gets to them. I’m not sure how to help in those cases
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 04:17 AM
1

If you genuinely don’t feel any different for your partner than your close friends (besides someone you can have sex with), that’s valid. But it’s NOT the same for everyone. I also would like to go on trips with my friends when we’re old and be there for them and their kids. But I’m not planning and building my life around them. They aren’t the ones I go to when things fall apart, or the ones that I would throw away absolutely everything for. For me and for a lot of people, romantic feelings are…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 12:37 AM
1

But you likely don’t plan to grow old with your friends, right? Or raise a family together? Or want to plan cute dates with? Kiss and cuddle? Just looking at them makes your whole world light up? You feel all this for your friends? It’s a lot more complex than just sex
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 11:44 PM
2

Oh, I know. I’ve been married for a while. But when men say things like this, I’m wondering what exactly they think women should be doing. Most of the time, it seems like they just want to throw out ‘vet better’ when they don’t actually have any ideas of what that means
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 07:28 PM
9

Yes, they typically go hand in hand. But they are different things. Romantic feelings aren’t only sexual, that’s my point. Romantic feelings is typically present in relationships so sex isn’t the only thing that separates a relationship from a friendship. Most people would probably not be satisfied in a relationship with zero non sexual affection and only having sex. Both are important to most people
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 04:33 PM
6

So people in relationships don’t have any feelings for their partners? You really believe this is true for most people? This might be the case for neurodivergent people, but not for everyone FWB isn’t a committed relationship for most people
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 04:22 PM
16

Sex isn’t the only thing that separates a romantic relationship from a friendship tho. Or would an exclusive FWB be the exact same as a committed relationship? Romantic feelings are different from platonic and sexual ones, tho it often can intertwine. And this should all be common sense, but a lot of people aren’t honest and don’t care about finding a compatible partner
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 04:05 PM
10

As long as you’re upfront and honest about this, then go for it. If a woman wants someone who genuinely likes her as a person, then you shouldn’t lie. You’re just incompatible
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 03:49 PM
11

If you’re looking at relationships this way, then you need to only pursue women who feel the same way
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 03:47 PM
6

How long? And also, are you saying that no man will ever wait a long time? Even those that are desperate and have no options? How can we filter those out? I’m asking for specific advice
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 03:04 PM
3

Will the ‘beta’ actually have lower odds of doing that tho? Or will he ditch as soon as the woman he actually wants shows interest? You’re trying to say that women should ‘vet better’, and I’m asking you for a detailed answer on how. Since you’re giving out advice, surely you’d have detailed information on how exactly to vet better
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 02:49 PM
7

How would you vet a potential partner with a 100% success rate to not do something like this down the line?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 02:30 PM
2

True. But it’s only fair that if the man gets to prioritize his ‘favorite’, then the women get to prioritize theirs. Otherwise, it’s inherently unbalanced and toxic
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 04:07 AM
2

How would his partners having sex with men mean that he’s having sex with men? That makes 0 sense. Poly relationships don’t mean having sex with multiple partners all in the same room at the same time
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 04:06 AM
1

But if you’re someone who wants to have sex with multiple women, why can those women also not have sex with other men? I’m curious as to why if that’s the case
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 10:21 PM
3

I’ve always wondered this, but if you’re a person who’d like to have multiple partners, would you also be ok with your partners having other partners?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 09:27 PM
2

Why did you avoid my second question? When you go to these events are you social and easy going? How do you approach and talk to people? In my experience the men who get invited to shit talk to everyone, not just women, and they genuinely enjoy getting to know people. If you’re a pleasant person, it’ll happen. I’ve seen obese men invited to orgies and BSDM parties. It’s more heavily dependent on your social skills and that you don’t come across as threatening. If you are autistic or socially anx…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 04:11 PM
11

Why do you prefer to deceive women? And also, didn’t you make a post 4 days ago on how you’re afraid to be a 40 year old virgin? So is deceiving just a new strategy you’re now trying? Places like music festivals, conventions, clubs, etc. I’ve been to all of these and people are crazy. You don’t even have to be good looking, just social and you’ll get invited to weird shit. If you have unrealistic standards, then that’s on you tho
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 03:57 PM
–

How’s this been working out so far?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 03:51 PM
7

Why not pay for sex? Or go to places where more sex positive people are and hookup?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 03:45 PM
3

Because they aren’t emotionally mature? Or they haven’t moved on? Either way these are things you need to filter out so you can drop them
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 04:16 PM
3

How can you objectively measure if a partner is/was better for you? Someone can objectively be very conventionally attractive, wealthy, kind, etc and you still don’t love them or care about them as much as a partner that was less attractive, poor, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 04:13 PM
2

That still leaves at least 20% of women who aren’t like this tho even if we take this stat as the universal truth. So go for those women
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:10 PM
1

I mean, would you say that if someone has been attacked by dogs before and had a fear of dogs, they should be forced to be happy around them? They aren’t allowed to be afraid? Plus, what’s wrong with being cautious around strangers in general? Personally, I’m weary and cautious of all strangers, especially if they are noticeably physically stronger than I am. It’s not about hating anyone, it’s about trying to stay as safe as possible and not put myself at risk
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:07 PM
1

Men still leave after this happens tho. So how can a woman guarantee it won’t. Are you saying most men will wait until marriage. Would you?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 01:05 PM
4

In the first tho, they only ‘change’ their mind because they’re actively in danger. They’re basically being forced to either appeal to men or die and that’s not really a choice. It’s less violent than 3, sure. But it’s something that will still be harmful to women longterm
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 04:10 AM
1

As long as men aren’t giving their dicks out, then sure
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 12:37 AM
5

Would men still honor it and not cheat even if their wife is sexually incompatible with them for any reason? Could be mismatch in libidos, mismatch in sexual interests, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 12:14 AM
5

Fair enough, but if you want women to settle with men they aren’t attracted to, you shouldn’t expect sex outside of trying for children
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 12:12 AM
10

Same here. Even when I was single, I don’t like being approached by anyone. I wouldn’t make them uncomfortable if they’re polite, but I’d find a way to disengage and continue with what I’m doing
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:44 PM
5

Men do the same thing tho. How many men would be willing to wait until marriage for sex and not complain about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:43 PM
7

Then why exactly is it a problem if women decide to chase ‘chads’? If it won’t help anything to not do it, then why should they stop?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:29 PM
4

You’re still not answering how this would help men that are struggling with dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:11 PM
7

Yes, that’s what would happen to those women. My question is how would this help men? They’ll be single and alone too
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:10 PM
7

Or men can keep asking out women and whoever doesn’t reject him is what his league is 🤷‍♀️ But a lot of men here have openly admitted that they aren’t attracted to their ‘level’
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:09 PM
6

Then a man’s level is just women that don’t reject him, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:08 PM
10

So you’d agree that women should make men wait while they are able to vet to guarantee that the man is good? No complaints?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:07 PM
4

And the woman can’t have sex with ‘chad’ unless he consents. Both of them cause this situation
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:07 PM
4

How can women make sure 100% of the time that they won’t be ‘pumped and dumped’, as you put it? Would all men be happier if women collectively decided sex was only for reproduction and nothing else?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 10:57 PM
5

Again, if women decided to either get commitment from ‘chads’ or remain forever single, how does this help men that aren’t ‘chads’? They’ll still struggle in dating and be alone. Or they’ll be settled for and have a partner that resents them. Is that a good thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 10:55 PM
9

Yes, but how will this help men. If most women still won’t date them, then their genes also die out
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 10:54 PM
3

Let’s say that’s theoretically true, would you really want your wife to feel forced to stay and be miserable? So you’d have a deadbedroom and a wife that’s resentful and unhappy. How is that a good thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 10:53 PM
3

Yeah, exactly. I was single for 8 years after my last relationship (including no casual sex or dating). I don’t see why that’d be any better than if I had only waited 8 days
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 10:50 PM
4

Then he’s also contributing to the problem then. If ‘chads’ didn’t have sex with less attractive women, this wouldn’t happen
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 10:42 PM
7

Ok, but what happens if those women ‘return to reality’ and decide they’d rather be single than ‘settle’? Men are still in the same situation
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 10:40 PM
5

But doesn’t this apply to men as well? If men are constantly getting rejected and getting no attention from women they’re attracted to, then those women are out of their league and they need to date less attractive women, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 10:37 PM
6

Of course. Manipulation is disgusting. A woman manipulating a man for money is no better
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 06:43 PM
5

That’s a bit different from women just having crazy high standards tho, right? Unless this theoretical man is being upfront, he would be manipulating them into sex. If he’s being honest about it, then there’s no issue
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 06:20 PM
1

The man is still being a shit person for manipulating someone tho. Most people wouldn’t call scammers decent people, would they? The scammer/manipulator is always the one at fault. A man who lies to have sex with women isn’t a decent person. If these are ‘chads’, then they should have no problem being honest about just wanting sex, right? Why lie?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 06:15 PM
44

Personally, I don’t think there’s a line. If a woman wants a picture perfect prince charming, she has the right to chase that. If she can’t find it and ends up single, that’s also her choice. I’d just have a boundary that I can’t listen to them constantly talk about it/complain about it if that’s something they do. It’s better for people to chase what they want and potentially end up alone rather than settle and resent their partner. That’s not fair to the partner
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 05:04 PM
3

I mean, in this case yeah they are extremists and I’d say that’s misandry. But ngl no woman I personally know has ever said anything close to this. Have you heard this (the same statements) from women you know?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:51 PM
2

No, I’m not saying that they speak differently than I do. I’m saying that I have never heard women bash men in person where I can address them (for example, I have Reddit but no other socials). I’ve only encountered this online and I do comment on it when I see it. But talking to someone anonymously is very different and likely to have less of an impact than someone you personally know. So if this is how we can help, then I believe I’m doing what I can. The issue is that more women also need to …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:49 PM
2

Tbh, I can’t speak for other women, but I and the women I know actively do this. The issue is that a lot of women (at least that I’m around) don’t speak like this and only really see it online. So I guess we just keep trying to increase women to call out bad behavior for now?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:32 PM
2

How are feminists hating on men? Aside from extremists saying things like ‘men are trash’, ‘all men are rapists’, ‘I hate men’, what are you referring to? The ones I listed should obviously be seen as hateful and be called out.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:13 PM
5

You can get past hidden post history by hitting the search icon and hitting enter. It will show everything!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 03:27 PM
4

Honestly, it’s likely that she’s jealous of them
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 03:26 PM
1

Tbf tho, are these men being upfront about only wanting casual sex? If they are genuinely not lying about being interested in a relationship with these women and are honest about only wanting sex, then yeah
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 03:25 PM
2

Well, can’t help you as I’m not sure. Misogyny or misandry would be like calling all women whores or men are all rapists, or shit like that. Pointing out bad experiences with a man or woman wouldn’t really be misandry or misogyny
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 03:22 PM
1

I mean it kind of depends, right? If the guy was upfront about just being casual and having sex, and she does it anyways, then you’re right. But if she makes it clear that she only is into ltr and he lies, she’s not at fault for being manipulated imo
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 03:19 PM
3

How is any form of criticism misogyny?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 03:16 PM
2

Are you only looking to be in a relationship with a man in a similarly advanced field? I know several women who are in advanced fields (medicine and law) and both are in ltrs. Just not with men that earn more than them
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 03:11 PM
–

Well it depends how it’s used, right? For example, if you’re referring to the stat that black people commit more crimes. That stat in itself (if it’s correct, I haven’t looked into it) isn’t being bigoted. It’s a statistic. Now if you try and use that stat to say all black people should be rounded up and deported or imprisoned or every single one is a criminal, that’s obviously wrong But say, if someone was assaulted by a person of a particular race, I wouldn’t fault them for being cautious. It’…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:31 AM
9

Tbh, I know it gets murky. But in your divorce stats example, I wouldn’t call that misogynistic if you were just referencing the stat on why men might take marriage more seriously on whether they want to take that big of a risk. If you try and use those stats to say all women just want to use men and steal their money, that’s just wrong and unhelpful Same with SA stats. If women use this to try and say all men are trash or all men are rapists, that’s wrong. But if they’re using those stats to ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:26 AM
3

Was OP asking explicitly for averages? So do men genuinely care for women or not? Hopefully they actually care about their partners and aren’t just pretending
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:21 AM
5

OP was asking individuals here if they empathized with men, unless I’m mistaken. But no woman can speak for all women. I can only speak for myself, and yes I am able to empathize with men. I’m not sure why this seems to bother you? So you’re saying men only ‘empathize’ to get something from it? Not a great look
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 02:48 AM
17

Genuine question—but outside of obvious statements like ‘I hate men’ or ‘men are trash’, what do you consider misandry? I only ask because I have seen where just pointing out SA or DV statistics or talking about why women are often weary of men is called misandry
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 01:54 AM
7

I didn’t have my first friend until I was around 20/21. Didn’t date until mid twenties. I included context in my previous comment as to why. How would you suggest trying better? And just curious, would you also be receptive to women telling men to ‘try better’? It doesn’t seem helpful
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 01:52 AM
9

Empathy is putting yourself in another person’s shoes and understand how they feel I have experienced being alone and isolated and it wasn’t through choice (for context, I grew up in a small-ish town where my family was the only non white people in town. Until I left for college, I had no friends or even really friendly interactions that I can remember outside of my family. This isn’t even really including the outright hostile situations either. I remember being followed around, and treated as t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 01:46 AM
7

Thanks for the suggestion! This is something I try to do, but like you said it’s not typically taken well. Ngl I do think that some issues are more important than others, like for men’s issues, I’d argue that the suicide and homelessness rate is something that REALLY needs more attention. But this will definitely be an uphill battle
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 01:30 AM
7

I do agree with you. Funnily enough, this is actually a topic that I’ve had with my husband before. He’s mentioned how in groups (for a hobby, for example), if it’s all women, he noticed that he wasn’t allowed to ‘join in’ or be invited and would be treated as an ‘other’. He also understands that there’s a safety reason for this, but that it still stings when it happens because no one likes to be treated as an ‘other’ or like they’re not welcome. But yeah, I do think being seen as you and not ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 01:26 AM
2

Where’s the proof that people who have romantic feelings are an anomaly?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 01:14 AM
33

I do. I’ve heard firsthand from my husband on how hard it is. I know men also have high expectations in society and I really respect how resilient they tend to be. However, I have not actually heard from the men here on how women can help. If they’d just like to vent, that’s valid. But women also are allowed to take issue with it if it turns into harmful or false generalizations. But yes, I do greatly empathize with men and men’s issues and understand how lonely it can be. I just wish I knew how…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 01:13 AM
2

Personally, yeah. I can notice when a man is attractive since I have eyes. But I’m not attracted to them. I only fantasize about my current partner and I only want to be with them. There’s just zero want or curiosity about having sex with anyone else
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 09:11 PM
2

If that works for you, then you just need to find a woman that’s similar. Personally, a FWB situation is completely different from a committed relationship because of the lack or romantic feelings. Romantic feelings are harder to describe because it’s really subjective, but do you get butterflies when you’re with friends? Dream about growing old together and building a life together? Like cuddling and doing more ‘couple-y’ activities? Sexual feelings are often intertwined in this, but those feel…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 08:37 PM
4

This is kinda similar to my husband before we met. I always assumed it was easier for men to get relationships vs casual sex, but he mentioned how he always struggled with dating because the women he was seeing wouldn’t want anything more than sex, which isn’t something he wanted. It’s interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 08:16 PM
3

This may be true for you then. But it’s definitely not true for everybody. If you don’t experience romantic feelings or attraction, you don’t speak for everyone else
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 08:14 PM
3

I never said ‘give sex’? Or can you quote me?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 08:13 PM
3

In your opinion, would an exclusive friends with benefits situation be the same as a relationship? Because that’s a case where there’s just platonic and sexual feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 08:11 PM
5

‘Give sex’? Is sex not a mutually enjoyable activity that both parties should enjoy in your opinion?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 08:09 PM
1

Not really. Romance and sex are not the same thing. They are different, BUT they do tend to overlap. Sex is important in a relationship and I wouldn’t be in a sexless relationship (unless due to extreme situations like an accident), but romance doesn’t equate to sex. Romantic feelings and sexual feelings are different, tho they intertwine for most people
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 08:02 PM
–

So are you saying that men only want to be with women for sex? Like I said, if that’s the case, then what’s wrong with providing them with dolls? Those same men will only hurt women and use them for sex I guess I’m asking, why do you think this is bad? Is it because more people will be single?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 11:48 PM
–

Why is this a problem tho? Do you truly believe that the men who only care about physical appearance and sex will change and view women as people? You have men all over this sub who admit to lying to manipulate women into sex. The best option is to get these men the hell away from women. Men like that are incredibly dangerous to women
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 11:28 PM
–

Those men likely won’t change tho. No self respecting woman would want to be with a man that only values physical appearance and sex. At least with sex dolls, we can keep them away from women
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 11:02 PM
–

Then government mandated sex dolls for these guys lol. No reason for them to complain then
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 09:15 PM
–

How is it treating me ‘worse’ tho? Are luxuries nice, yea sure. But if providing those luxuries only hurt him and put him in a bad spot, then I support him changing. As long as our financial goals are compatible for building a future, there is ZERO problem here Like with how this relates to women who won’t have casual sex when they previously did, it doesn’t mean that sex is never going to happen. It just means that they were likely naive and had to learn from their mistakes on what works for th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 07:47 PM
–

It wouldn’t tho, and I’m confused why you think I’d be bothered? Like that’s the thing. If he wants to treat a date or something, then sure I’d appreciate it a lot, but I never expect it. I especially wouldn’t judge him if he confided in what happened previously and why he was more frugal. The effort is what matters. The fact that he wrote a birthday card means a lot imo Again, if he genuinely changed because his past actions were hurting him, I’m not going to judge him for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 07:35 PM
–

What’s the problem here? If you were genuinely doing this to put yourself in a better financial situation and learned from your past, there’s no problem. It’s actually good. Spending less doesn’t even mean you can’t show appreciation. Writing cute notes, making dinner, all are extremely low cost. No well adjusted woman should have a problem with this if he explained himself and showed he genuinely cares and loves her
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 07:29 PM
–

Honestly, I kind of want realistic sex dolls to quickly become available and affordable so that men who genuinely just want ‘sex’ can use those and leave women alone. If all they care about is a woman’s appearance, they don’t want a relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 07:26 PM
–

I mean, it’s not always a method to filter either. There are a lot of women that need time to be comfortable to have sex too and have never had casual sex too
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 07:22 PM
1

I asked and we measured it together lol. Wasn’t exactly 6.5”, slightly over the .5” mark so 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 03:13 AM
–

Just curious, but in this situation, if your partner couldn’t do penetrative sex but still wanted to be intimate, would you also extend the same to her?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 08:07 PM
–

I agree in situations like that where it gets to be like a year or more (unless the woman had to recover that long). You still need to prioritize your partner too
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 07:33 PM
–

Not sure about other women, but personally blowjobs are more intensive/painful and have to be actively turned on for them. Asking for those while a woman is healing seems pretty insensitive unless she can comfortably give them. If it’s about intimacy and connection, why wouldn’t mutual touching or something similar work?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 06:30 PM
6

So do women not ever work while also pregnant and postpartum? What equivalent does a man have to pregnancy and childbirth that puts the same strain and causes the same changes to their bodies?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 04:06 PM
6

No lol. I actually thought sex just sucked for me when I was with my first partner (who was pretty big). He was a very giving partner too, but that size just limits everything and constantly having to be careful is annoying. My husband is average but sex felt A LOT better
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:51 PM
2

Same here. My first boyfriend was 6.5” and sex was always a struggle. It was a big reason why our relationship ended
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:49 PM
1

Yeah, my husband is similar. Solidly on the lower end of average, but we’ve always had to start slow and he has to be careful or I’ll end up hurt. Bigger isn’t always better for all women
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:48 PM
3

No. Bad sex can mean men springing painful shit on you that you didn’t consent to. Like slapping you or strangling you without asking first. This has nothing to do with desire
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:46 PM
1

Are you saying that if a woman doesn’t want to be in pain during sex, it’s because she doesn’t actually desire her partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:44 PM
3

These are from friends of mine. A couple are men that are what I’d call ‘lazy’ but not bad people. The outcome was about what you’d expect. Some of the other husbands tho? Seemed like good people. From what I’d heard from my friends, they helped out a lot, took care of them during pregnancy, etc. But more than a couple of these wouldn’t help out more while my friends were literally recovering postpartum. I’ve had to help watch over a couple of my friend’s babies some nights just so they could sl…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:31 PM
2

Exactly this. If the husband actually takes care of you postpartum and makes the recovery easy and smooth, libido bounces back pretty quickly. But not helping out more or leaving your wife constantly sleep deprived is a great way to breed resentment and kill libido
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:25 PM
2

Would you expect sex while she’s postpartum and recovering tho?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:22 PM
11

Obviously? If he had full custody, then she absolutely should pay child support
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:17 PM
4

Did they fight for custody tho? I remember reading that most men do not ask for or fight for custody, and those that do typically end up getting it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:15 PM
–

It’s 6-8 weeks. And that’s dependent on the individual woman, and only if the birth went perfectly. 6 weeks is supposed to be when it’s medically safe, but depending on pelvic floor issues, sex can be painful for quite a while afterwards. That’s still the recovery period. No one should want to have sex while their partner is literally in pain
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:13 PM
–

So men never want children? If a man wants a child, then he needs to care for his wife while she’s recovering. Not sure what kind of person would not want to help their partner after a major medical incident, but 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:11 PM
10

Exactly this. Did he fight for custody (or ask for it)?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:09 PM
1

Did you expect to get laid during the recovery period postpartum or see sex as one sided (only focus on your pleasure)? If not, then yeah your situation is horrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:09 PM
7

Then men just want to masturbate with a woman’s body. Not have sex. How can any sane person have sex with a partner who isn’t enjoying it? You’re just using their body at that point. But if sex if this important to you, then you need to be honest with your partners before you have children for expectations
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 02:54 PM
6

If you can get sexual pleasure out of your wife suffering, you deserve to be alone. Or are you also planning on taking care of her and everything postpartum so she can recover?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 02:53 PM
6

But the thing is, a lot of men don’t consider postpartum to be part of the stressful or extreme circumstances. Recovering postpartum can take up to 18 months to fully recover. I couldn’t have sex for around 8 months due to physical and mental health tanking badly. Luckily my husband actually cares and didn’t push for it because he saw me struggling and cared. If you expect your partner to have sex while their recovering (no matter how long this takes or you don’t do more to help them out) or che…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 02:50 PM
2

Surely, men can wait while their partner is recovering physically and mentally from birth, right? The absolute earliest women can safely have sex postpartum is 6 weeks, and that’s only if the birth went perfectly. If you need to be sexual soon after postpartum, then the absolute bare minimum you can do is take as much off her plate as possible so she can rest and recover quickly
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 02:46 PM
9

But would you expect your wife to have sex while still recovering or you’d cheat? That’s what a lot of women deal with and what’s not ok. Six weeks is the absolute minimum time needed to recover from a vaginal birth, and that’s only if everything goes perfectly. A woman isn’t ‘withholding’ sex for recovering and prioritizing her health postpartum
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 02:42 PM
4

So you believe not one single man in all of history has settled for a woman he wasn’t attracted to?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 06:16 PM
9

I have ADHD and am the same way. Clear communication is a big reason why my husband and I have never actually fought (disagreements, yes. But no fights/raised voices/etc)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 05:48 PM
8

Do you have an example of this? If you’re talking about a situation where a man says he wants casual sex and the woman leaves, that isn’t because she’s turned off by communication. It’s because she wasn’t looking for casual sex. The whole point is to communicate to find someone on the same page
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 05:47 PM
1

I feel like this is normal tho, right? It’s basically the same as kids dreaming of becoming an actor, trying and failing, realizing it wasn’t want they thought, and finding a fulfilling career that works for them. Now sometimes you do have people who still long for their dreams and hate their current job, but you also have people that learned from the experience and are genuinely happy. It’s just maturing and growing
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 05:41 PM
2

The problem with this is that do these men genuinely want and are attracted to their looks match? If so, then sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 05:39 PM
2

You can’t morally force people to reproduce. If more people don’t want to, then that’s that. And we are not near extinction. There are other countries with high birth rates
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 05:38 PM
6

Why do you think most of the men here refuse to acknowledge this? Whenever something along these lines is commented, suddenly they go radio silent lol. It’s very telling
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 05:37 PM
3

I mean, being able to have children without being the ones to carry the pregnancy and give birth (and all the risks and damage that comes with it) isn’t a privilege women have. Unless we make the world a utopia, different people are going to have different privileges
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 05:35 PM
6

If most men settle for women they aren’t attracted to, then they shouldn’t be upset that women also do the same, right? What’s the problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 05:32 PM
2

This doesn’t really apply to everyone tho. I used to work in film/tv with a lot of conventionally attractive men and women. Some were decent people, some were obviously not. I’ve lost every bit of interest in men who said shitty things and never had or considered dating/sleeping with them. Same went for most of the women I worked with too. There were some women that didn’t care, but from my experience, it’s not most
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 05:30 PM
1

I mean, doesn’t this apply to everyone? Do you want to have sex with someone who isn’t aroused by you?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 05:27 PM
–

Genuine question, but would this include pregnancy and childbirth as well? To be genuinely equal, there really can’t be major setbacks like this. If women have to go through that, then there has to be something to balance it out, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 11:47 PM
–

So do men
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:37 AM
2

Proof for what?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 09:26 PM
–

Then that needs to get pushed out first. Or men need to be fine with less women having sex 🤷‍♀️ No complaints about not getting laid
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:47 PM
–

Definitely would be a good reason for women to not have sex or only have sex after securing marriage! So maybe we should do this so more men are left sexless 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:43 PM
–

Would you support men’s contraception too then? It’s wrong if only women are required to deal with the side effects
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:39 PM
–

Cool. You don’t speak for all woman tho. Many women actually want a decent partner
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:37 PM
–

Tbf a lot of these men don’t care about pregnancy because it won’t directly affect them or their bodies. It’s gross
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:32 PM
–

So would you be ok with more women refusing to have sex then? If so, then sure!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:30 PM
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Who’s this ‘yall’? Very bizarre to believe every single woman wants to be a mother. Maternity leave in the United States is not nearly long enough either and just barely covers the bare minimum of recovering from childbirth
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:29 PM
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Exactly this. Shows that the man doesn’t care about a woman’s health at all
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:26 PM
–

Again, how does this help for women’s pleasure? Or are you only concerned with men’s pleasure here? Is anal sex on men an option too? Actually going by this logic, we can reframe sex into an activity where men don’t get to ejaculate. Shouldn’t have any complaints, right? Also, you do realize that women still can get pregnant from precum, right? If a man pulls out but she still ends up pregnant, would you be ok with requiring men to be physically present to raise the child?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:25 PM
–

And if the woman still ends up pregnant? Would you advocate for men to be required to stay in her life to take care of the child? This doesn’t even cover STDs
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:22 PM
–

And birth control methods that women frequently take harm our enjoyment. So should sex only be when both parties are ready for children? Or do only men’s pleasure matter here?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:21 PM
–

What methods should men use to practice safe sex so the onus isn’t purely on the woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:20 PM
5

What would a gender neutral society look like, in your opinion?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 02:50 PM
–

Why aren’t you pursuing women who are your looksmatch?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 02:44 PM
2

Why are you not replying to the people who have confirmed that they’ve dated recently and/or are young? It makes it look like you’re cherry picking for what suites your narrative
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 02:34 PM
1

So are you saying that men pursue unattractive women and genuinely want them? Makes no sense to get upset that women want attractive men if you’re also wanting an attractive woman
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 02:31 PM
1

What would this look like?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 01:16 PM
1

Isn’t it the same for women tho? If a woman isn’t hot, and doesn’t offer anything else, would most men be tripping over themselves to love her (and I don’t mean just to have access to a body or treat her as replaceable)?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 01:16 PM
19

So is he not being honest about his intentions in your scenario? Even when two people agree to have fun, one party doesn’t typically lie to manipulate the other person to get their consent. So are we talking about a situation where both are on the same page? Or a situation where this high value man purposefully misleads someone?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 05:11 AM
8

Based on what I’ve heard from my friends who have done casual/are into casual, it depends. Most of them will not sleep with even an incredibly attractive man if he’s a stranger, there has to be some level of trust there and no obvious red flags. I only know of one or two that may be down for that, but those two are also risk takers and who don’t want to be in relationships But most women I know (that I’m close enough to actually talk to about these things) that do casual, have a good vetting pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 05:03 AM
12

If this ‘high value man’ isn’t interested in building a committed relationship, I have 0 interest. Men only wanting casual isn’t what I consider to be ‘high value’ anyways so everything you’ve listed is pretty useless
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 04:53 AM
13

It obviously doesn’t; notice how he stopped replying to them lmao 😭 Guys like that just want to try and push their own narrative
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 04:47 AM
9

I mean, hopefully people date those that they’re attracted to, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 03:33 AM
16

She said she was with him in 2024
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 03:32 AM
3

We met about 10 years ago But I’ve also seen this strategy work for my brother, and he has a partner of almost 2 years now
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 11:51 PM
3

This sounds very similar to my husband and I ngl. I find him very attractive, but objectively speaking he’s average (same as me). He’s genuinely a good person, cares about people and their rights, isn’t bitter (despite having been in very toxic relationships and struggling to date earlier in his life), and loves learning about people. We were friends first but he told me he had feelings and played 0 games while we were dating, was also incredibly vulnerable early on. Redpill would suggest that h…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 11:21 PM
3

If this is true, then how do average looking couples happen? This only makes sense if you’re trying to date women that are more attractive than you are
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 11:14 PM
4

It worked for my husband 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 11:10 PM
3

It worked for my partner (a man), and not even just for long term/committed relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 11:07 PM
1

Tbf my partner did this. He used to follow the ‘go to the gym’ and used apps without much luck. He decided to get off them as they weren’t helping and meet people outside. We met about a year after he did this (according to him), and just talked as friends since we met through a mutual interest before feelings developed. He’s also admitted that he’d had several casual flings during this period as well before we met, and just to clarify, we are both pretty average people
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 11:03 PM
6

How can women help? I agree that having to go through this is rough, but what would help?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 04:52 AM
7

What other option is there? Basically, they can either try or give up. There is no other option
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 04:48 AM
3

Why not let her make an informed decision on whether she would be ok with being in a relationship like this? Aren’t you taking away her choice?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 11:00 PM
–

Then let them complain 🤷‍♀️ As long as they aren’t being violent or trying to take rights away, who cares?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 10:24 PM
3

Does she know you feel this way? If not, why hide it from her? Isn’t this cruel to her?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 10:23 PM
5

I mean, not using a woman as a hole so he can have sex would be a start, especially if he knows she has feelings for him. He’s literally treating her like a sex doll
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 10:22 PM
5

It’s not imo, but if the talking gets interpreted as ‘complaining’, then I’d say that’s massively disrespectful. Lets be honest, for example, if you feel like you’re exhausted and doing a lot, your partner mapping out everything and saying ‘well I’m doing my fair share. See?’, won’t help at all. At the end of the day, you’ll still be exhausted and struggling, even if you see that it’s exactly 50/50. If your partner can’t or won’t take on more, then what’s a solution that won’t lead to resentment…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 09:50 PM
4

Isn’t this the exact same thing men accuse women of? That women genuinely only actually desire ‘chads’ and are settling for other men? You’re doing to exact same thing
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 09:45 PM
–

I mean, if they’re cool with either finding perfection or staying single, what’s the problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 09:42 PM
13

Honestly, if either partner feels that the relationship is unfair, they should just end it if there’s no compromise or a way for both to be happy. Men and women both want to believe that they contribute more, so I don’t see why this is gendered tbh If you feel your partner isn’t pulling their weight and you don’t care enough to try and communicate and work through it, then just leave
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 09:36 PM
2

The thing is, yeah, I wouldn’t be interested in men like this. And if it were 99%, then I’d likely be single. But I wouldn’t complain about it or be bitter about remaining single. And while this isn’t all men, I see a lot that become bitter and hateful to be single. That’s the difference
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 08:20 PM
7

But then, would it be ok if women try to empathize with men, but can’t? If men would be ok with that, then sure. But if not, it’s a bit hypocritical
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 08:12 PM
2

Maybe it’s different between men and women then 🤷‍♀️ But for women it’s more vulnerable in that you can easily be hurt and can’t do anything about it if the man decides to not stop
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 04:32 PM
1

But humans aren’t purely logical creatures, and it’s ridiculous to pretend so. Emotions are just as important as logic, and fear can literally save your life in some cases Never said physical force is the only power that exists, but it’s an important one. In a situation where someone needs to escape, what other power will help them get out from under somebody that’s much more physically powerful?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 02:17 AM
–

Then women can provide money, resources, labor, etc. If you want to make it even. Genuine question—would you be able to enjoy sex if the woman wasn’t into it or wasn’t enjoying herself? If so, how would that be any different from just masturbating with a woman’s body?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 01:47 AM
6

Well the penetrated party is still risking 18 years of raising a child on top of pregnancy and childbirth. It’s still has more risks
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 11:49 PM
3

I was more saying that they are different things with significantly different outcomes. Is it worse than ‘bad sex’ in the case of the sex just being boring/maybe uncomfortable? Not even close. But is it worse than being assaulted and left with injuries? It really depends. I guess it depends on what ‘bad sex’ means to you. Because I’ve had friends literally describe assault (being strangled without consent, or had ‘accidental anal’ happen and left them with trauma) and they consider that as ‘bad …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 11:23 PM
6

I don’t think that false accusations (while terrible and there’s no justifying this) is the same as actively being in pain or being injured during sex tho. From what I’ve heard from men, I’ve never really heard of them considering pain/injury for a sexual encounter. It can happen, but it doesn’t seem like something that most men are afraid of happening, but could be wrong here There’s also the fact that most women are physically weaker than most men. So if something is uncomfortable and painful,…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 10:30 PM
10

Because a lot of men who want to have sex, don’t ever really seem to listen when women explain that it puts them in a more vulnerable position. It’s the same way men say bad sex is still enjoyable for the most part, while for women bad sex can mean just a painful experience that can even result in injury. There’s a lot more inherent risk in sex for women, and this is often dismissed in spaces like this I can’t really comment on gay men, but I imagine those that bottom may feel somewhat similarly
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 10:23 PM
–

You said unwanted sexual activity. How would you define ‘rape’? Okay so, if men need sex, and women should provide it, how would you suggest this happen? If women say no, then what happens? If sex is painful, would you expect them to have to endure that and potentially suffer injuries because men need sex? There’s also many women who did try and have ‘duty sex’ to keep their partners happy, but it ended up traumatizing them. Is this what you want to happen? How are men ‘having their money stolen…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 09:33 PM
15

Oh, I’m aware. But it’d be nice to see them acknowledge this without them feeling emasculated or without them spouting homophobic nonsense. They never actually acknowledge it in good faith
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 09:30 PM
–

Do you believe that rape is traumatizing or no? Would you want to have sex with women who are scared, crying, or who clearly don’t want to have sex? What is the appeal for that? I’ve also never seen studies of men reporting PTSD from spending money on women. But if you have studies, I’d be happy to read through them. And no, that’s not equality. Equality would be having women give men money
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 09:24 PM
–

Fair enough. But would you genuinely love and care about a woman who loved you but who you weren’t attracted to? As in, would you have sex and focus on her (not imagining other women and just using her body)? Be affectionate, do nice things, etc.?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 09:23 PM
–

But if there was literally no affection, connection, or intimacy, how were you any less alone? Was it because a person was just physically present, even if they mentally were somewhere else?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 09:12 PM
–

The thing is tho, those often aren’t just jokes. The men who I’ve seen make jokes like that actively berate their wives, avoid going home, or have cheated. They may present it as a ‘joke’, but from my experience, it seems to be their genuine feelings
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 09:10 PM
–

I’m sorry you went through that. I guess it’s just different perspectives then. I have gone through something similar and if I could, I would rather have not experienced it. But I also have a question referring to the sex—did having sex with her leave you feeling used, disposable, or dehumanized? Personally, that’s the main reason I think numbness is better than pain in this situation
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 09:09 PM
–

Were you happy? And if you don’t mind me asking, why were you with her? Did you love/care about her? I realize these questions sound accusatory, but I’m curious why, if you’re ok with answering
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 09:05 PM
–

Would you say women should date men that would make them unhappy or who they aren’t attracted to?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 09:04 PM
–

Don’t partnered men do the same? The old hating the wife jokes have been a thing for a long time
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 09:03 PM
–

Genuine question—if your options were women you did not find attractive at all, you fought frequently over incompatibilities, and there was no sex/affection, would you still consider that good? Yes, this is an extreme, but I’m trying to see if you’d genuinely consider ‘anything’ better than nothing
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 08:55 PM
–

Not all women can mentally handle casual sex tho. Which puts them in the same situation if they can’t find a committed relationship. For some people, they literally cannot separate sex and emotions, so having casual sex will only hurt them (even if sex is important to them). If having casual sex meant you suffered mentally and felt disposable and used after, would you still consider that good? What do you suggest is the solution if men ‘need’ sex? A solution that does not force women into unwant…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 08:54 PM
–

I actually do have a close friend who is in her late 30s and has never dated. And no, it’s not because she’s only looking for ‘chads’. But she is unfortunate looks-wise and struggles with mental illness
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 08:51 PM
–

Would you get into a relationship with someone that would make you miserable? Assuming you’re not just doing it for access to sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 08:46 PM
–

Are you referring to sex here?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 08:45 PM
–

Same here. I have a close friend who’s single and not necessarily happy about it, but she refuses to be with a man that isn’t compatible with her. While it does make her unhappy, she’s not angry, she’s not resentful, and doesn’t think all men are bad/need to be controlled/etc
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 08:28 PM
28

Also, a lot of men don’t acknowledge or refuse to acknowledge that there’s a big difference in being the penetrator vs being the penetrated party. The later is much more vulnerable
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 07:31 PM
8

But will they want her for more than just sex? As in, genuinely love and care about her?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 07:25 PM
1

Yeah, in instances like that, I agree with you. It’s inappropriate and not constructive. I was thinking you were referring to instances where SA is brought up on it’s own or in response to a discussion on it
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 04:51 PM
6

I see where you’re coming from, but don’t really see it as a massive issue. Sure, the way some people frame it isn’t the best. Would you be fine if they just changed the wording but remained cautious? In your last example, if a man who had a history of genuinely being falsely accused and made generalizing statements about women (and it was supported by stats suggesting that a large amount of men would likely face this in their life), I wouldn’t really have an issue. It’d be irritating, but it ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 04:36 PM
1

What would you suggest to do? If SA is never brought up again or rarely brought up, do you think it would help? Imo it’s a bit selfish to not care about something just because it’s annoying. Do I find it irritating that recently everyone is upset about ICE or the whole Palestine situation? Yeah, I do. However, those are important issues that shouldn’t be ignored, and I still try and keep myself informed and sympathize
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 04:27 PM
2

Would you say it’s more fair for people to just be wary and cautious of all strangers then?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 04:17 PM
6

Fear isn’t always rational. Like you may have been able to walk away mentally fine, but another will walk away with PTSD. It’s not so black and white
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 04:16 PM
4

And that’s wrong. So we should move forward by not telling men to ‘man up’ and repress their emotions
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 04:15 PM
4

Tbf, I know it’s brought up often. But imo it’s because it’s often brushed off or not seemingly taken seriously (from what I’ve seen). I’ve seen and heard many men even say they don’t think SA is a big deal or that most women lie about it. That’s fucked up. I think it’s reasonable for it to constantly be brought up when it’s brushed off or the trauma it causes is downplayed
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 04:10 PM
12

Just curious—what would be an acceptable way for women to be cautious to you? If a woman decides that going out to bars isn’t worth the possible risk, is that unacceptable? The majority of men don’t SA, sure. But how can women know at first glance who these men are? Wouldn’t you want your daughter/friends/partner to not take the risk? If a man had a history of being attacked by women, even if that is a statistical minority, I’d absolutely support him in being cautious.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 04:06 PM
3

And those people are wrong and are just enabling bad behavior. Like sure, we can call them out, but imo it’s better to just ignore them and don’t give them the time of day
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 12:54 AM
–

What about women/men who have never felt this for anyone immediately? Who have only felt this after getting to know someone?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 04:27 PM
8

But men can also choose to ignore women like that, can’t they? A lot of women either choose to be single if they can’t get the type of man they want. This is an option for men as well. No one is forcing them to accept women like this
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 03:53 PM
8

But why is that a problem? Delusional people exist. Men don’t have to accept this (and they shouldn’t) just because some lazy and delulu women want them to
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 03:50 PM
3

That doesn’t make it any less fucked up or wrong. The woman would still be a coward and I’d hope that any man would break things off with such a cowardly woman
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 05:24 AM
3

Maybe, maybe not. We can’t really know unless there’s a similar situation that was filmed and just didn’t get attention. But either way, abandoning your partner is absolutely shitty and imo people who do that deserve to be broken up with
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 05:23 AM
7

How would a woman doing the same not be a coward? If a woman just runs away as her partner is being attacked, that’s just as fucked up.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 05:08 AM
6

If a woman abandoned her partner that was being attacked, she absolutely is a coward. How would she not be? A good person would try and help at the very least. Man or woman
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 05:06 AM
3

Tbf, I don’t agree with the online shaming. However, I will say, that women also shouldn’t be shamed if they don’t want to be with a partner that would leave them in that sort of situation. So men can do what the man in the story did, but I’d argue that they shouldn’t get upset or angry if the woman decides to break things off with them
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 05:04 AM
–

How is it strongarming? If it’s a dealbreaker for them, that doesn’t ‘strongarm’ you into anything. It merely means you’re incompatible, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 10:23 PM
–

Men who need porn or who consider porn to be important to them should seek out women that have similar views then, no? Porn isn’t inherently a requirement for sexual satisfaction. People just need to be honest and find compatible partners. If you need porn, then don’t date women who are against it (or lie about it because that’s manipulative)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 09:39 PM
–

Do you ask them about this ahead of time tho? If it’s that big of a turnoff to you, I don’t get why you wouldn’t ask and filter for this. You have agency here, unless the women lie to you
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 09:34 PM
–

Let’s say this is true. What if sex without those things makes sex worse for the woman? What do you suggest then? Does one person’s pleasure take priority? The only real solution here is that people need to only date those who are compatible, and not get upset that someone isn’t compatible with you. That’s literally all there is to it. Like sure, it’ll definitely narrow your dating pool, but that’s life
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 09:23 PM
1

We sat next to each other, I started a conversation with him and on a project towards the end of the semester, we ended up with each other’s numbers. We ended up in 2 more classes together, became friends, and started dating. He asked me out. The other two, I asked out and the one from the convention is my husband
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 11:13 PM
4

Only slept with 3 -college class -work -at an anime convention
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 02:38 AM
9

It isn’t that rare. But what about the others? How often do men endure these things during pregnancy/childbirth?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 05:35 PM
11

Not in all cases. My mother’s never returned to normal even with supplements. I’m 2 years postpartum and mine still hasn’t gotten back to normal yet
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 05:31 PM
13

What gender roles force men to do those jobs? Women can do those too, or are you arguing that there is not one single woman in the whole world that works similar jobs? No man can carry a pregnancy or give birth, which is a big difference. Do you have an example of something that can only affect men and not women that’s on the same level? Edit: Interesting that you can’t come up with an equivalent and just choose to conveniently ignore this
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 05:30 PM
18

Are you serious? The commenter above literally named one. Loss of bone density is another, diabetes, permanent pelvic floor issues, incontinence, etc. And this isn’t even covering actual complications or body image issues (which many men get upset with) Do men experience any of this during pregnancy/childbirth?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 05:27 PM
22

But it does often cause permanent damage to a woman’s body that she has to deal with. Men don’t have an equivalent to that
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 05:21 PM
2

Personally, if we could safely extract the fetus so the mother wouldn’t have to carry the pregnancy and give birth, I’d be fine with abortions becoming illegal. But only if this would be available to everyone, not just the wealthy, but people in poverty too. For me, abortions are purely about bodily autonomy
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 05:20 PM
3

This is why I’m asking what ‘exactly’ he means by ‘compassion’. I’m hoping I’m misunderstanding him, but I’m not sure why he’s being so vague or won’t elaborate. You can be compassionate without agreeing or actively working to help someone
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 07:40 PM
2

Okay, but how would you define showing compassion here? I’m genuinely trying to understand what you mean but you’re being vague. Is general support what you’re referring to? Things like ‘yeah that must suck’, ‘things will get better’, etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 06:54 PM
9

Do you do the same for women? Personally, I feel for men who struggle, but I don’t agree with many of them on what the main problem is. I don’t think that disagreeing or saying that I can’t solve the issue isn’t being compassionate. Just curious—how would you define ‘giving compassion’? Like just general support like ‘yeah, that sucks’ ?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 06:19 PM
14

Exactly this. I have 2, but I wouldn’t do it over again unless I wouldn’t have to go through pregnancy and childbirth again (and this is even with an amazing man as my husband who took over almost everything so I could recover in peace)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 03:37 PM
–

What do you think should be done? I (and I’m sure many other women) would be more than happy to support something that would help (as long as it doesn’t involve harming others). I don’t have an issue with admitting that men have unique issues they face too, but I do have an issue when men bring this up in attempt to have women come up with solutions or to redirect. If you just need support, then that’s fair
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 02:51 PM
3

I think there’s a difference between talking about dating vs talking about your sex life tho. Personally, while I’ve talked about dating with friends, it’s never been super in depth or about the sex, especially not in detail. It’s always seemed disrespectful to me to tell other people about it
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 06:52 PM
3

Do you also practice safe sex (condoms/vasectomy) or do you expect/are fine with only the woman taking responsibility for it?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 06:59 AM
1

Well pregnancy is only something that women can go through, right? Men can have ‘abortions’ too when they can carry pregnancies and give birth
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 03:35 PM
2

Do you have any proof that it’s ‘most’ women? Proof that isn’t anecdotal? ‘Most’ women I know definitely aren’t into that
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 04:15 PM
-1

When you say ‘no woman has ever wanted’ you, are you only referring to women that you find attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 04:06 PM
4

This is actually a lot more common than you may think. I had this happen to me and most of my friends have had the same experience (and many of these are from across the country). I was around 11 the first time I remember this happening
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 06:51 PM
5

I don’t because I consider sex to be incredibly intimate and it’s intertwined with love and connection for me, so I don’t believe sex is just some commodity to be bought and sold. Having an OnlyFans has 0 appeal to me even if I could earn money and I’d rather just turn a hobby into a side hustle if I needed more money. I don’t believe that someone having one ‘devalues’ them as a person, or if it does, it only ‘devalues’ them as much as it ‘devalues’ the people who pay for it
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 04:44 PM
–

Ngl, I always thought these things were the bare minimum for both men and women? If it’s not, that’s genuinely really sad. None of these even require effort
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 05:09 PM
–

I’m lucky to live in a place with excellent public transport and I don’t drive, so no. But 40k people dead is still 40k people and they matter. Only looking at things statistically isn’t helpful either
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 01:18 AM
–

Ehh, well it really depends. There are cases where PPD can literally make a woman have a psychotic break, which is much different than killing your children in cold blood. I will admit I don’t know much about what testosterone can do, but if it has cases where it’s literally caused people to become psychotic, then it should have the same grace. Imo intent makes a big difference, and if someone kills someone while they’re mentally insane, they need treatment Men can also get PPD, so this isn’t co…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 11:32 PM
3

So, very interesting that your immediate response is to resort to attacks and not discuss in a civil manner. You are not arguing in good faith here, and are coming in on the assumption that you are right no matter what anyone says. You have not addressed my points; in your replies you merely pick out one that you take an issue with and you still don’t actually respond to it. So…that’s really the end of the discussion. Best of luck to you
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 10:33 PM
3

I mean, women have this too. Some men will say that a woman needs to sleep with them asap or they’ll get dropped, while other men say that women should wait or she’ll look too easy. This looks like contradictions, but it’s likely just the opinions of different men. This is confusing for many women as well, but not actively harmful. The problem is that people have different opinions and their advice will reflect that
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 06:18 PM
1

Exactly. I agree with your second point. Even with my husband who grew up in an especially rough area in the Bronx, he’s only had to physically fight like 2-3 times his whole life and we’re in our 40s. I have a hard time believing that physical altercations are so common and necessary unless they genuinely do not know how to de-escalate or get away. Someone getting into fights all the time is kind of a red flag
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 05:04 PM
2

I mean, people complain about everything. If most men genuinely don’t want to be friends with women, then that’s that. Sure some women will complain, but who cares?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 05:02 PM
2

Tbf on your point about not wanting to be friends with people who would ‘abandon you’ if you were jumped….like, are you talking about cowardice or if it were a situation where they genuinely can’t help? This makes a massive difference. Like, if I got jumped by someone with a weapon, I would not expect or want any of my friends (male or female) to jump in unless they physically could do it without themselves getting injured. I care about them and don’t want us both hurt, because what’s the point?…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 04:56 PM
3

Here’s the thing tho, if women have different opinions on this, what advice do you want instead? Honestly, the only thing that will genuinely help men is learning to read body language and social cues because again, some women will want to be approached and some won’t I can see how this can be confusing, but how is it causing actual harm to these men? They don’t have to listen to these women? Personally, I think it’s best to just not risk bothering someone you don’t know well unless you are cert…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 04:41 PM
5

You do. But I don’t see how that advice is ‘harmful’ to men. If men deem it as worthless, they can ignore it, but there is no actual way to prevent people from giving advice you don’t agree with. It’s literally impossible
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 04:31 PM
9

Fair enough, but again that’s one woman. She doesn’t speak for all women so it still makes 0 sense to try and paint this as all women. That’d be the same logic as me picking a well known rapist and saying ‘see? Men think and act like this’. People aren’t a monolith
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 04:30 PM
6

But you don’t have to take the advice. You won’t be able to stop people from voicing their opinions. But you don’t have to listen to it if you truly don’t think it’s helpful. At that point it’s just differing opinions and experiences
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 04:21 PM
7

You keep calling women sluts while also wanting to have sex with women, right? Very interesting 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 04:19 PM
0

How do you know these are the same women? It still sounds like different women voicing their opinions. Some women want to be approached, some women never want men to approach. Unless you’re literally seeing the same women say both these things, it’s just different opinions from different women. If you have an example you can show, I’d be happy to see it
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 04:17 PM
–

If you care about dignity here, then I’m assuming you don’t watch porn? Otherwise, this makes no sense, unless you’re admitting that you like getting off to women who ‘sell their dignity’? But that doesn’t sound like something decent men would do
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 02:32 PM
–

How many of those are due to something like PPD? If little to none, you’d have a point. It’s also difficult to measure because women are far, far more likely to be the ones spending the most time alone with their children
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 02:28 PM
–

And exactly how many does that .01-.02% amount to? It’s not just a handful of people
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 02:25 PM
4

And all those women are predators and shitty people. That doesn’t absolve Bonnie Blue of what she’s done. As for why I or other women aren’t ‘calling out’ those other women? Well, in my case, I don’t follow porn actresses, so I’ve never heard of them. Bonnie Blue, on the other hand is a lot more well known. You aren’t arguing in good faith here. You act like all women are trashing her, so do you also believed that if a couple men are rapists, that all men want to rape women? Yes or no? Because t…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 02:12 PM
6

This is also what I was thinking
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 06:07 AM
14

Oh, I don’t doubt she gets hate. But I do doubt that it’s only women like OP is saying. Plus, if I’m remembering correctly, she’s potentially a predator targeting young men. Not to say she deserves those threats, but it’s likely beyond what the OP is suggesting (that women hate her for having sex)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 05:32 AM
1

Fair enough. I don’t disagree. But I do understand why women may get dismissive when the response to things like sexual assault is something like ‘men aren’t getting laid’ or ‘we need to address male hair loss’. I’m not saying it’s not something that should be looked at, but things do need to be prioritized based on importance or nothing will ever change. There are more serious men’s issues that absolutely need to be discussed, and yet somehow I very rarely see it brought up from men (even those…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 05:28 AM
5

Yes, but there are levels, are there not? Like yes, body issues can cause big problems (for both men and women), but things like having the right to vote or addressing the custody issues men face should take more importance
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 05:21 AM
9

Yeah, like there are legit men’s issues that need to be addressed (like what you’ve included). Yet somehow, almost every time men seem to mostly be talking about not being able to have sex with very conventionally attractive women (or even the bald thing). Like yeah, sure, those things are bad and unfortunate. But you’d think issues like getting default 50/50 custody and addressing military conscription would be pushed. I don’t know many women or feminists that would be opposed to discussing tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 05:18 AM
12

Do you have specific examples of those threats? You keep saying that she’s saying this, but do you have proof? Who are these women? Are there 0 men threatening her too? You seeing a couple comments online is also anecdotal btw You can genuinely be concerned about someone if they show problematic behavior. If you think being worried for a stranger isn’t possible, I don’t know what to tell you. But she is actively engaging in dangerous behavior, ask any person in healthcare about the dangers of wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 05:02 AM
21

Honestly, most women that I’ve spoken to don’t hate her. In fact, they’re sad and scared for her. Same for Lily Philips (if you saw her interview, it’s pretty apparent why). Tbh I would be more interested in why she’s doing what she’s doing. If she truly isn’t doing this as a form of self-destruction (I only bring this up because I have known people firsthand who have done this, and it’s an extremely difficult thing to break out of). If she wasn’t pushed into this, wasn’t abused/groomed, and isn…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 04:35 AM
2

How would you define ‘fairly aggressive’?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 02:15 PM
4

Tbh, I think a huge part of the red pill is that they don’t actually mean ‘average’ women. They are upset that very conventionally attractive women typically don’t want to date them (who are often complaining that they are unattractive, short, etc).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 06:53 PM
2

Are those men not limiting and hurting themselves by only trying to pursue ‘supermodels’? It would be smarter to understand that attraction is often a lot more than physical appearance, otherwise, what will happen 30 years into a relationship when the model inevitably ages? Wouldn’t having realistic expectations help more men? It’s the same as an ‘average’ woman saying she only wants hollywood level men. It’s shallow and unrealistic
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 06:41 PM
0

So if women who value that just admit it, then everything’s good? I genuinely can’t see how this matters except for wanting to be proven as ‘right’
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 06:32 PM
4

I mean, you’re doing the exact same as those women. You don’t want women who are funny or nice. It’s the same thing
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 04:39 PM
-1

I’d say it’s pretty good. We typically have sex 1-2 times a day (only times I can recall that it noticeably went down from this was postpartum and once when he was going through a stressful career change). We’ve been together for 14 years
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 04:06 PM
-3

What about women who genuinely are attracted to sensitive men? And yes, they exist. My husband has cried in front of me more times than I can count and I’m more attracted to him. If he wasn’t as kind and sensitive, it would have been a turn off
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 03:56 PM
0

Are you speaking about every single woman or just in general from your experience?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 03:30 PM
1

Were you only trying to date women attractive enough to be supermodels?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 03:19 PM
6

Exactly this. It makes me wonder, do those men want to be in sexless relationships? Would they be excited to date a woman they aren’t physically attracted to? It doesn’t make sense to me
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 03:15 PM
2

I work in academia and with many feminists (well respected professors who have published works), including ones that run the department. I never once have heard any of these things being said or suggested by them. I’ve actually heard the opposite in terms of men’s issues. A pretty big topic recently (by these women) is on how we can help get men more access to higher education since they’ve been falling behind, and learning why this has happened. Even when I’ve browsed thru the comments on the a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 12:34 AM
1

In case I’m not understanding, how are you defining ‘equality’ here? I won’t deny that there are radical ‘feminists’ out there and who do want to punish men. But they are also extremists and a lot of what they preach is nonsense. Most women I know just want to be treated equally and have equal opportunities and rights as men do. Tho what this is specifically really depends, and differences in biology also makes ‘true equality’ difficult and this needs to be addressed
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 12:11 AM
0

So you have specific examples of this? Feminism was so that women could have opportunities that they weren’t allowed before Like, for equality, are we talking about situations like SAHMs? Because we do have to also address pregnancy and childbirth and how that physically is only on women to have to do
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 12:02 AM
5

This is interesting! Do you think it’s because they can pick up subtle hints about those men that most women tend to overlook?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 10:54 PM
10

This is what confuses me tbh. You see so many men here that insist that most men are good, won’t hurt women, etc., but then you constantly have men warning women about men—you don’t know how men are, don’t go out late at night, don’t get drunk alone, etc. Why are you warning women and trying to protect them from other men if men don’t do these things?? Like, growing up, it wasn’t women who told me to watch out for men’s intentions when dating. It was from male family members and even some of my …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 10:15 PM
-8

What do you mean by ‘rejecting equality’?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:33 PM
13

Tbh I don’t even think we can use food here. When we have ‘bad’ sex, that can also mean lingering pain and injuries even from consensual encounters. Most men that I’ve asked have said that bad sex for them is just boring or they don’t orgasm. I’ve only known one that’s actually been hurt during sex
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:06 PM
2

Very true, but if they can tell something is wrong and are constantly worried about you, that isn’t sustainable either. There needs to be a middle ground or you need to find someone compatible with that. Expecting them to keep their concern bottled up is just as bad as them constantly pushing you to talk
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:18 PM
34

I really wish more men understood how sex is genuinely different for men and women, and being the penetrated party is very different mentally and physically. This is especially true for things like rougher sex (not talking when the woman genuinely enjoys it. But if you push for this when the woman isn’t into it, you are essentially just pushing for women to accept being in pain as many sex acts in porn are very painful and uncomfortable for women. I can’t think of many sex acts for men that have…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:15 PM
5

Exactly. The worst thing is that they don’t even see women as people with their own feelings and needs. Hence why he refuses to be honest about how he sees them. As long as he gets what he wants, he doesn’t care who it hurts He’s also the type to be a terrible father, as he likely only wants kids as some kind of trophy or achievement, not because he actually wants to take care of and nurture a family
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:09 PM
2

Sure, nothing wrong with that if everyone’s on the same page
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 06:25 PM
7

I’m honestly afraid for his potential wife and children. That mindset is incredibly dangerous and unhealthy to raise children in. Especially since he admitted to lying to women to get what he wants, incredibly manipulative
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 04:00 PM
10

So you just want to use a woman so you can have a ‘family’? You don’t seem to even care about your potential partner’s well being here. You would be manipulating a woman into carrying pregnancy and giving birth for you? That’s not going to be a good environment to raise children in.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 03:32 PM
4

Would you be honest about this with a potential woman you get into a relationship with so she can make an informed decision on whether she wants to be with someone who deems her as ‘acceptable’ and only tolerates her presence outside of sex? Also genuine question—why not just pursue either sex workers or casual sex arrangements like FWB if you don’t like women outside of sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 03:24 PM
1

I’m not sure tbh. Personally, I don’t really see a point in judging people I don’t know. I’ve only just have seen the former with both men and women I know, and almost every time, those relationships had ended with a lot of hurt. I’m not saying there’s no exceptions, but from my experience those relationships aren’t healthy
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 04:55 AM
1

I think this is a bit different tbh. There’s a massive difference between men who only want to date very young women and will not consider women close to their age, and men who happen to date someone younger (and aren’t opposed or less attracted to women their age). Basically a man who is dating a young woman because of her age vs a man who’s dating a woman who just happens to be younger
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 04:50 AM
–

I mean, if a man starts ‘mansplaining’ I can ignore him if I really deem it as unhelpful. As long as he doesn’t get threatening or forceful, there’s 0 issue
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 04:01 PM
–

But people are free to give it. Just as you are free to ignore it. And if a younger woman decides to follow that advice, there’s nothing wrong with that
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 03:57 PM
–

What if the younger one wants to hear the advice tho? Does their opinion not matter? Most of the advice is geared towards them anyways, not the older partner. If both are genuinely annoyed, then ignore them
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 03:52 PM
–

Why is speaking up a problem? If both parties are happy in the relationship, then they’ll just ignore complaints about it. If someone is trying to warn the younger party, and the younger party is willing to listen, what’s the problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 03:47 PM
1

Are you talking in general or every single relationship? Because, while a minority, there are still many women who do make the first move
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 02:07 PM
3

Are these men approaching sub-6 women?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 01:25 PM
–

Very true, but it happens and it’s bizarre
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 04:52 PM
–

Fair enough. If a woman expresses that she isn’t interested, would you encourage to keep pushing or let it go?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 04:46 PM
–

What’s an example of this?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 04:42 PM
1

Fair enough. It’s just dishonest to say ‘all’ when that’s not really possible. There’s always going to be outliers and generalizations don’t apply to everyone, like in your height example. While a minority, there are still millions of women over 6ft tall
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 04:52 PM
2

You said ‘zero’ women. Does zero have a different meaning that I’m not aware of? If you meant to say most, then say most
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 04:47 PM
8

So just to be clear, most of your male friends have experienced unwanted hitting/choking/anal when they were having sex with women? I’m just surprised because none of my male friends have. They have experienced sexual assault from women (which IS a massive problem), but not what I’ve listed above Look, I’ve never slept around and I actually don’t really think having sex with a bunch of strangers is safe. But people should be able to go out and have sex (even with strangers if that’s their thing)…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 07:05 PM
10

Tbh, I’ve never heard of this happening, but have men really been getting randomly slapped, choked, or had ‘accidental’ anal done on them (injured during sex with actions that aren’t genuine accidents)? And is this common? Every single one of my friends that have been dating in the last 3-4 years has experienced at least one of the above. A lot of them are afraid to date and have sex now, and the ones that do have a serious sex talk early on which apparently turns a lot of men away
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 06:40 PM
1

Are those average men pursuing average women or women that are similar to them in looks?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 11:01 PM
1

And what about women who genuinely wouldn’t just fuck the ‘hot’ guy or who lie about what they’re attracted to? Are you saying they don’t exist, even as a minority?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 10:54 PM
6

This isn’t true tho. As a woman who prefers staying in, the ‘hot dangerous guy’ isn’t appealing to me at all, even when I was younger. Dangerous or ‘bad boys’ are not attractive to all women. Sexuality for either gender isn’t the exact same. Some view sex as only physical pleasure, some only view it as intimacy and connection, and some view it as both
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 10:47 PM
0

I think a big point is that those men want very attractive women. It’s not that no woman is interested. It’s that no very attractive women are. I’ve asked this before in this sub, and got a lot of comments on how they wouldn’t date and are not interested in their ‘looks match’.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 03:05 AM
6

I agree that it’s not only about sex. However, would you say that most men would be ok with a marriage that includes no sex at all? You didn’t really answer my question. If you want children, how would that work if you can’t have sex without hurting your partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:55 PM
1

Isn’t that percentage also including people who have divorced multiple times? What’s the divorce rate for first time marriages for educated people? That number would be way more useful, since people who have already divorced have a higher rate to do it again.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:36 PM
5

And what if there are genuine compatibility issues sexually? Would you advocate for a dead bedroom situation? I’m not even talking about kinks here. My first boyfriend was legit too big for me, and was a big reason why we broke up. Because to have sex that wasn’t painful for me, it was boring for him. Is that a situation that you want people to end up in (hopefully you wouldn’t advocate for women to have to just be in pain or for the men to never get enjoyment)?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:32 PM
3

This only works for women who are able to have casual sex. For women who see sex as something intimate and bonding, they will just get hurt. Some people cannot separate emotions and sex, and we shouldn’t be encouraging them to do so
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 08:11 PM
4

They should be upfront about this tho. Once they realize they don’t want anything serious they need to communicate that or their partner is going to assume things are ok. If you purposefully withhold this just to keep sleeping with them, that’s incredibly manipulative
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 08:09 PM
–

I genuinely think a lot of people think teaching doesn’t require any skill and is ‘easy’. It’s a bit strange
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 04:40 PM
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Ehh, it’s not unheard of. A close friend of mine is a software engineer and she rarely works 40 hours a week and she makes just a bit less than that. She usually works less than 8 hours a day outside of a few weeks a year (according to her)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 04:39 PM
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Honestly, I agree with you. I think the root of the resentment in terms of housework is couples that have different views on cleanliness and organization. If both are on the same (or similar page), it’s much easier The job thing is a bit different tho. I think a lot of people don’t have access or the skills to have jobs that would be easier on them, so they get stuck with something they heavily dislike. Not everyone has the ability to be an engineer even if they study and work hard. Same with ph…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 04:36 PM
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Very true. I think a big problem in general is that a job’s salary isn’t really correlated with how hard you’re working. In my friend group, the highest earning one is a woman in software engineering. She only works about 25-30 hours a week and doesn’t consider her job stressful outside of a couple weeks per year. Meanwhile, I have friends that work with the disabled or who are teachers for young children and they are constantly exhausted and burnt out, while also being paid much less. In those …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 04:23 PM
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I agree it’s definitely up to individual couples, as long as they’re both supporting each other (so no weird power dynamics emerge, unless that was explicitly agreed upon). But tbh, I wouldn’t say higher pay necessarily correlates with higher stress (tech jobs). Most of my social circle works in tech and software engineering. And most of them consider it relatively low stress and they have a lot of free time and WFH or hybrid. So it really depends
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 04:18 PM
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You have a point about stress levels and time. However, what about cases where both have incredibly high stress jobs, but one just happens to be in an industry that earns more money? Lower pay doesn’t necessarily mean lower stress, so they shouldn’t automatically have to take on all the chores. Otherwise, they will burnout due to having 0 leisure time to decompress. I’m not sure why anyone would even want to watch their partner go through that
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 03:03 PM
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Exactly this. It should be more about making sure that both parties have near equal free time. Obviously there’s exceptions like where one works a construction job vs someone who has a relatively low stress WFH job. Then imo the WFH person should help out a bit more because they’re likely to have more energy. Other than that, both should contribute so that both get around the same amount of leisure time. If this is a big deal to people, then they really need to filter and only date similar earne…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 02:59 PM
3

Fair enough. People do get manipulated all the time, especially if they trust easily
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 02:55 PM
6

Lying to have sex is wrong tho. Genuinely, can you explain to me how it’s not manipulating someone?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 02:46 PM
3

Are you insinuating that less attractive men cannot abuse or ‘pump and dump’ women? Why should women be clear about it when you’re advocating for men to lie in order to manipulate a woman into having sex with him?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 02:45 PM
5

Nope. But if OP truly believes that it’s ok for less attractive men to lie in order to have sex with women, it just makes sense for women to never sleep with or date less attractive men. No point in taking the risk 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 02:42 PM
18

Honestly, women should just never have sex with less attractive men, if this is the case. If less attractive men might have more ‘incentive’ to lie, we should just advise women to avoid them completely, right? Better safe than sorry
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 05:01 AM
9

What about women who don’t have casual sex and never had?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 04:53 AM
1

Fair enough. But here, I don’t think most reasonable women validate women like that. It’s likely women that are looking for the same thing, from my experience. The few women I’ve known who became bitter and complained about men and money were roasted pretty hard, but maybe it depends on the social circles. I’ve only seen women like that being ‘validated’ by other women that are the same way
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 08:57 PM
1

Do you believe women should have to date men they aren’t attracted to so they won’t be miserable? That’s like saying it’s valid for a woman to bitch about how men suck because she can’t get a man to buy her luxurious trips and jewelry and being angry at men overall. It makes no sense. If she wants something like that, she’s free to pursue it. But if she can’t find that, it’d be wrong for her to blame men
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 08:35 PM
5

This sounds reasonable in cases where it’s proven that the accuser was lying about it. And I think that could be a good idea, but only if it’s proven that the accuser lied Would you also extend this to cases where the accuser was just found ‘not guilty’ tho? Because people can be found ‘not guilty’ for a multitude of reasons, and only means they were found not guilty in the court of law. They could still have actually committed the crime, and they weren’t falsely accused just because there wasn’…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:45 PM
1

Gotcha, that’s fair. In the case of the DD victim, doxxing him was absolutely wrong and fucked up. Personally, I just seen others who seem to have the view that if an accusation results in said man having women rejecting him for that reason or having more people not want to associate with him, then it’s a big problem. I don’t really think there’s an issue unless it causes massive reputational damage
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:42 PM
3

Fair enough. I’m more so just troubled by the amount of people who assume that if someone is found ‘not guilty’, that this means the person is innocent. And that’s incorrect as someone can be found ‘not guilty’ for a lot of different reasons
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:38 PM
3

Very true, but I remember reading from various sources (I’ll try and find and post them when I get off work) that sexual crimes tend to affect people much more deeply. Which makes it pretty different from other crimes And I get what you mean. But the problem is that word is going to spread anyways. I don’t believe in calling for a crusade to crucify the guy, especially if there’s no evidence, but if women don’t want to risk dating a man who’s been accused, I don’t think that’s a problem. I do th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:35 PM
3

Fair enough. Do you think that it’s ok for women to choose to not date or interact with men who have been accused? I get that a single woman accusing someone shouldn’t be automatically believed, but your way calls for more women to be victimized. Wouldn’t it be safer for women to avoid risking that with a man who has already been accused?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:30 PM
5

If you believe that being socially ostracized in this instance is bad, are you saying people shouldn’t have the right to not want to interact with someone accused of a crime? Are you genuinely saying that a woman can’t even tell her friends of her experience if it wasn’t ‘proven’ in court? Just because it might cause less women to date that man?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:28 PM
4

The problem is that not every woman who is raped, will be mentally able to go through the justice system. It’s incredibly harsh, and very well known to re-traumatize victims just to file a report. Should a woman be able to tell her friends or people she knows that she was raped by someone? If so, can she tell other people who did it? I’m not saying to go around saying ‘X IS A RAPIST’, but more so telling people she knows of what happened to her and who did it
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:22 PM
4

So, just to be clear, if someone shot you and was found not guilty in court, you were not victimized? If people can’t say that they think someone is guilty, would you have a problem if people decide they will not date or associate with people who have been accused? Or would that be a problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:19 PM
6

Very true and I don’t advocate that men should face legal consequences if the case isn’t proven. I also don’t agree with vigilantism. But I don’t really see a problem with a woman sharing her experience to try and protect other women The problem with this is tho, it can obviously turn into a case where a man who genuinely is falsely accused gets ostracized, which isn’t fair. So what should happen?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:17 PM
5

Yes, I’m familiar with those two and I do know that there are some women who do exploit this. But my point was, are most accusations false? If so, how are we determining if they were false? Just because a jury and judge didn’t find the accused guilty, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are innocent. It’s something a disturbingly large number of people don’t understand
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:15 PM
2

So a victim shouldn’t be allowed to tell other women their experience to try and prevent other women from going through the same thing? If they got off free in court, then they are free of ‘consequences’. If women don’t want to date or associate with someone who was accused, there’s not really anything wrong with that, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:09 PM
3

Ok fair, but where’s the limit for you? Can a woman only tell women in person? If she uses social media, can she make a post so more women can see it? Not being argumentative here, but just trying to understand where the ‘line’ would be for you Because say it’s a small community. A woman telling their social circle would still likely resort in that guy being judged and possibly avoided, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:05 PM
18

Are most of the wrongfully accused ones actually proven to be false? Or just that either there’s not enough evidence and can’t be proved? There’s a massive difference
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:01 PM
15

The problem is that rape can be hard to prove and there are many times where there’s no evidence, but it still happened. What should happen in those cases? Can those victims warn other women if the justice system fails?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 06:59 PM
3

In case the justice system fails (because let’s be real, rape and sexual assault can be pretty difficult to prove), would you be ok with women warning other women they know to try and protect them? Or should they just keep it to themselves?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 06:57 PM
6

Yeah, tbh same. If my husband passes before I do, I’ll just travel around til I go. But tbh, I think it depends on the marriage. Good marriages are obviously great. Bad or ‘meh’ ones tho? I’d argue that being single is better, at least from what I’ve observed and have seen friends go through. Every second isn’t amazing, but overall, it’s been a massive positive in my life and my husband makes me genuinely happy
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:04 AM
15

Same here
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 11:05 PM
–

You didn’t answer my question. Men want women who genuinely want them, right? Well women want the same thing. A man settling for a woman he doesn’t actually want is doing the same thing as a woman settling for a man she doesn’t want
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 09:12 PM
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I agree with you. Personally, I’m more of the opinion that people should pursue what they want in life as long as it doesn’t harm others (to the best of their ability). I don’t agree with women pushing for other women to stay single. I think women can give their experiences so that more women can make informed decisions while being aware of the risks, but pushing an agenda that all or most men are bad is wrong imo And I’m aware, I’m not arguing this. My belief in general is that happily married …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 08:44 PM
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This is definitely true and I understand why this might be a fear for them. However, what is the solution? We can’t and shouldn’t force people to get into relationships they don’t want just to prevent something that might happen in the future. That’s a HUGE sacrifice to ask of someone
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 08:34 PM
9

Fair enough. A few of my female friends actively are choosing to be single and don’t have much interest in dating at all, and they’re genuinely happy. There definitely are women who are bitter and pretend, but it’s not all of them. I don’t think it’s necessarily right to tell others to stay single if that’s not what they genuinely want. But telling people it’s okay to be single and that it’s an option is important too. Everyone should be free to pursue what they want as long as it doesn’t step o…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 07:56 PM
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It is a minority, but we can’t genuinely know how many. Unfortunately there is still social pressure in many areas to eventually get married and have kids. Since people tend to be social, many will just go along with things to avoid being judged. I’d bet there’s more than we believe who would prefer to stay single (tho still a minority) But again, what’s the solution to this if women don’t want to date most men? We could bring back social pressure, but that’d result in unhappy/dead bedroom marri…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 07:15 PM
9

What do you consider to be ‘delusions’?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 07:03 PM
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You’re assuming that everyone thinks the exact same way as you do. Which is wrong. People want different things. I’d argue that it’s a minority that genuinely like being single, but they do exist If women regret not dating or building relationships, then that’s their problem and that’s on them. Why would you care?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 07:02 PM
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Then what do you recommend? If women want to stay single and aren’t interested in dating, why would it be a problem and what do you want to happen?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:56 PM
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What consequences tho? Most single women I know are fine with having roommates or living with close friends to afford the COL. People shouldn’t get into relationships if they don’t want to, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:55 PM
14

Ok. But what if women don’t want to or refuse to ‘swallow the pill’? Would you be ok with them not being willing to change their standards? If there are women who later regret not having families, then that’s their problem. Why would you care?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:54 PM
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But do they genuinely want to be with those average women they end up with? If not, they’re ‘settling’ just like the women are. Would you want a woman who’s with you because she has no other options?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:41 PM
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Some women are already doing this. It just seemed like the commenter above was insinuating that people need to ‘pair up’. If people want to be in relationships, they can pursue that. If people want to stay single, that’s totally fine too
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:40 PM
13

Let’s say that’s somehow true—what then? What do you want to happen? Would you truly be ok with being in a ‘relationship’ with a woman who doesn’t want to be with you and feels trapped? I’d imagine any decent person wouldn’t want that for someone they care about
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:37 PM
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Then would you also say that average looking women are men’s first choice? That men don’t lower their expectations to be in a relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:31 PM
16

Do you think women should get into relationships and be miserable just so less men are alone? If someone wants to be single, why do you want to push them to be in relationships they don’t want? At best, they’ll resent their partner
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:29 PM
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What about the average looking couples? You see many normal couples out everyday. They’re all with the same 10% of men?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:23 PM
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Maybe women weren’t shunned, but I remember even in the 2000s that women who weren’t marries by a certain age were negatively judged. I know several women just from my friend group growing up that got married and had kids because it was ‘what they were supposed to do’. Both of them are unhappy now and one’s going through a divorce Nowadays, there’s a lot less pressure to do that and more women are comfortable to express that they want to either stay single or wait longer (tho in more rural areas…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:19 PM
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