Is working for a living more traumatizing than being sexually assaulted?

krackedy · 2026-06-09T13:28:51+00:00

There's a choice? I've been raped and I need to work for a living. Guess I got the short end of the stick.

Otjahe · 2026-06-09T13:26:58+00:00

Well you get paid in one

avocadolanche3000 · 2026-06-09T13:36:24+00:00

The appropriate analogy would be slavery, not voluntary work, since we’re talking about something non-consensual.

I’d rather have duty sex, which I do not enjoy and do not want (but do consent to) than work (which I also consent to). With slavery, that depends a lot on how torturous the slavery is.

Keeltoodeep · 2026-06-09T13:33:47+00:00

Some people are very hyperbolic about work. Work is not slavery, obviously.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-06-09T23:27:53+00:00

Of course they are not the same thing, and it would be silly to argue they are morally identical.

The better argument is that long-term misery, pressure, obligation, and being trapped in work you hate can absolutely damage a person over time. Years of stress, exhaustion, humiliation, physical strain, and feeling like your life is being drained away can be deeply harmful.

That still does not make it the same as rape. The mistake is acting like only one kind of suffering can be real. Sexual assault is its own category of violation, while long-term forced economic survival can also be psychologically destructive. Both can be harmful without pretending they are the same harm.

PrecisionHat · 2026-06-09T14:14:02+00:00

Can you share the link to these men's comments? I've never heard or seen this sentiment anywhere.

wtknight · 2026-06-09T14:18:52+00:00

This question is all relative. It is worse having a bad job or a bad boss than having a good spouse who respects a woman and treats her well when she stays at home. It is worse being sexually assaulted or raped by one’s spouse than having any kind of job except for one where one is being sexually assaulted as part of that job. Even jobs where one’s life is at risk are better than being sexually assaulted, because the death aspect of those jobs is not a certainty.

Manosphere men are frequently comparing supposedly “cushy” stay at home duties to the dangerous jobs that some men do. I was not aware that some men were claiming that these dangerous jobs are worse than sexual assault, which I think is a pretty deplorable view.

Terrible_Mixture_759 · 2026-06-09T14:46:15+00:00

uuuuhhhh no

Caveat: I've been sexually assualted

BlueMountainDace · 2026-06-09T16:26:45+00:00

The people who may have made those arguments are idiots.

I work. I’ve been sexually assaulted. I’ve been raped. Most work is not traumatizing. Most of us, especially the folks posting on this sub, don’t live or work in truly deplorable situations.

How dumb.

ImaginaryDimension74 · 2026-06-09T18:54:46+00:00

Not all sexual assaults are equally traumatic, same with workplace trauma.

Getting groped at a party for most people is far less traumatic than getting gang raped.

Some workplace incidents can be very traumatic. Imagine being in the twin towers in 9/11 being a doctor who loses patients you know or even facing false accusations that might end a career. Such things can be extremely traumatic.

The relatively minor sexual assaults I’ve faced have been far less traumatic than the major incidents I’ve faced at work. I’m sure there are many people for whom the reverse is true.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-06-10T01:26:00+00:00

I’ve seen this argument a couple times in this sub

Source? I've been here a hot minute and never seen this one.

M3taBuster · 2026-06-09T14:16:31+00:00

I mean rape and SA are obviously horrible and traumatizing, but if I could get SA'd once and never have to work again for the rest of my life, I'd probably take that deal.

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pianoestnul · 2026-06-09T15:52:25+00:00

What

Commercial-Formal272 · 2026-06-10T02:36:02+00:00

Rather than generic sexual assault, I'd say it's closer to prostitution, with all the coercion and abuse that can come with that. Some call that rape, even though there is compensation and arguably consent involved. In turn, since marriage is historically a contract, it could be likened to buying out a prostitute, in which case spousal rape could be argued as just a "john" taking what he paid for.

I'd like to state that I do not condone these views and simply wanted to explain the thought process that is used to rationalize them.

AggravatingFlow1178 · 2026-06-11T04:15:43+00:00

working a job = slavery

Anyone that authentically believes this is an idiot. Unless they mean it as 1) a metaphor or 2) indentured servitude which is more defensible but still wrong.

slavery = a woman being raped

This is also stupid. Slaves were raped on top of a million other terrible things, and expected to stay reasonably compliant around their masters. This is not the same for a person being raped a single time and then having reasonable odds at seeing justice eventually (at least compared to a slave)

working a job = a women being raped

The only way I could possibly defend this is if you make it specifically about 1) really dangerous jobs that harm your body or 2) compound decades of working a job to a single incident. But in either case, this is pretty hard to defend. To steelman this claim, imagine someone proposed to you: "Do a dangerous job for 20 years OR be raped once?" and it makes the claim seem more defensible, because I would certainly take the later. But in all honesty they just seem incomparable and bad faith.

all men hold this sentiment

No.

male victims of rape aren’t affected by it at all and that ‘trauma’ is something that women pretend to have to get social ‘benefits’

People that think that are stupid

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2026-06-12T08:40:45+00:00

Um...no. I'm a male with a history of sexual assault and abuse as a child. Trust me, it affects men too. I would argue sexual abuse and assault effects men more than women.

Working isn't traumatizing. It's just what adults do.

Barely-moral · 2026-06-09T14:09:33+00:00

I doubt the trauma of SA is comparable to the obligation of having to work for a living.

That being said. I would gladly trade places with a woman and risk SA for a chance to be able to live without working for a living by being in a relationship with a man willing to provide for me.

abaxeron · 2026-06-10T08:23:32+00:00

First, I don't believe you for a second that anyone actually said that the way that you are retelling it to us.

"Working for a living" is not and has never been a problem, it's very much a human constant since we developed thumbs. The problem for me is not "working for a living", it's working for a living, education, retirement benefits, rent-stabilized housing, etc. of ~100 million other individuals that I don't even personally know who hate me for being too huwhyte-passing, too straight, too male, and in their book too successful. For simplicity I call these people "progressoids".

Some time ago progressoids have introduced the concept of "basically-rape", umbrella term for things like having passionate intimate lovemaking with your beloved person after they asked you for it twice, for example. The progressoid definition of "basically-rape" and "sexual assault" are the size of a solid US state and includes things that are outright ridiculous and trivial; I would brave through the vast majority of such experiences without flinching and without ever thinking about them again. Progressoids have pushed at least one "academic" "article" insisting that obstetricians not asking consent for life-saving interventions for a woman in labor who is delirious, in shock, and dying is also "basically-rape". It's ridiculous and gets more so the longer you think/read about it.

Working half of my shifts for people who proudly hate me instead of the well-being of my SO and child is worse than being "basically-raped", and for this reason I would say that if we go by progressoid definitions and working for a living of someone else, there's at least some overlap.

If we go by "normal people definitions" and assume that you did mean just working for your own living, being raped is obviously worse, although I'd say there is still some insignificant overlap. Getting roofied by a girl I don't particularly fancy and having her suck me off while I'm barely conscious, BUT then I get a lifetime pension that allows me to never ever ever work a single day in my life? - I will at least take five seconds to consider; it's not an automatic instant "No".

Gemini_zyx · 2026-06-09T15:12:03+00:00

I think it's not fair to compare the harm done by sexual assault which is often a very short term traumatic event to the long term effects of the worst kind of dehumanising work.

If I HAD to pick one it would be sexual assault but the psychological effects of some forms of work if engaged with for years can be awful.

anonymousppd123123 · 2026-06-09T14:17:25+00:00

I love my job. I get to tell 25000 people theyre wrong. Id do it for free

New-Concentrate935 · 2026-06-09T23:35:22+00:00

I swear this sub comes with the most unheard phrases I have ever heard. I have never heard of this comparison you speak of, not even from 50+ years old bigots.

I have just seen this on reddit lol. Most men cannot even compare beacuse it has not happened to them, as most women cannot compare working with dangerous machinery(just trying to explain how we all have different life experiences but on a general note there are more common things). I am not saying that it does not happen, I am saying that most people have to make "what ifs" in their head to answer to you.

The rape comparison is disturbing tho, those that told you that are clearly deranged.

Large_Bed_4251 · 2026-06-09T20:59:25+00:00

I’ve seen this argument a couple times in this sub

Let's see some examples

Title	Is working for a living more traumatizing than being sexually assaulted?
Author	Brilliant-Block-8200
Upvotes	0
Comments	92
Date	June 9, 2026 1:24 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1u14wos/is_working_for_a_living_more_traumatizing_than/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-working-for-a-living-more-traumatizing-than.1582427 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582427

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