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Buggy1218 Archive

View 4 posts and 192 comments by Buggy1218 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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63

I mean this depends entirely on context. He could be a creepy and possessive boyfriend. Or he might be leaving the house at the same time as his wife and pumps her gas for her because she hates the chore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 06:03 PM
125

Can’t stand those people who make their friends their emotional support therapist while they repeat the same mistakes ad nauseum. What was the definition of insanity again?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 04:59 PM
93

The “cool girl” is a common male fantasy because it’s the closest they get to banging another dude as far as personalities go. It’s all the fun of hanging with their bros with tits attached for their enjoyment. Guys that are looking for their “cool girl” need to do some reflection, date their homies and leave us alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 04:31 PM
433

Above all, this is just sad. Imagine thinking about all the mistakes you’ve made in the past and how hard you cringe. That’s because you know better now. You can just tell by the way she speaks so wistfully and romantically that she hasn’t learned a thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 04:24 PM
510

When will men realize the risks a woman opens herself up to in regards to dating men? First of all, I’m not saying all men of course. HV men exist and we appreciate them. However, for the vast majority- I would say 80% at the very least 1) Are only feigning interest to get laid, 2) Have abusive or manipulative tendencies, 3) Expect you to work full time while maintaining the household chores alone, 4) Are complacent losers with no ambition, 5) Have no interests outside of games and anime, 6) Lac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 04:43 PM
17

Or gift giving in general. If it’s something that’s important to you then by all means, vet for that. But personally I’m not big on obligational gifts like for Christmas or birthdays. And I’m not the best gift giver myself. My husband and I agree that no presents is fine and that works for us. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 03:21 PM
153

Don’t sleep with your boyfriend for at least 3 months. I feel like the sentiment here is spot on, but waiting for an arbitrary time frame may not serve it’s purpose. A LV man can maintain their deception as long as it takes to get you into bed. I think it’s better to hold off on sex until you feel comfortable and safe with him, and vet him in other ways in the meantime. If you aren’t paying attention to other indicators, waiting for a random day on the calendar to sleep with him may essentially …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 02:14 PM
373

Girl I heard that. And like you, I sympathize, really I do. But nothing grinds my gears more than a woman making a post a mile long about her shitty man, and capping it off with “bUT I loVe HiM”. First of all, that may be true, but anyone with an objective perspective can see that he doesn’t love you. No matter what he says, if he treats you badly he doesn’t love or even like you. And secondly, who cares if you LoVe HiM? That’s high school shit. Real, healthy, adult relationships aren’t built on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 12:23 PM
134

This works with other hobbies too! My biggest hobby is gaming. I love to talk about it, and it’s such a telling conversation to have with men. They only play super competitive games like League or Call of Duty? Probably have anger issues. They only play massive time dump games like Word of Warcraft? Or money pit games like Magic? Probably don’t have a life. They neg me about my skill level, the type of games I enjoy, or are in disbelief that I’ve been gaming my whole life? Nope, next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 02:41 PM
100

Girl I know exactly what you mean! I just recently got in contact with my ex best friend- and suddenly all the reasons I let that friendship go came flooding back. The selfish “everything is about me” mentality, the negativity towards my successes, the hostility and jealousy towards my healthy relationship. I got so tired of feeling like I was walking on eggshells around her for the crime of living my life and bettering myself. I also remember how free and peaceful I felt when I stopped talking …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 07:03 PM
154

Thank you! If it’s not a hell yes it’s a no. I started to doubt my relationship with an ex, and I should have left right then. Everything after that is now a regret. If you feel like you’re fighting for a relationship, you’re probably in the wrong one. The HV man for you will never make you doubt his love and commitment to you, and make tangible efforts to resolve any issues that arise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 02:13 PM
46

How lame! That takes all the enjoyment out of getting a gift. It’s supposed to be a thoughtful surprise, and instead they’re putting part of the burden on you. All that says to me is that they’re inconsiderate, uncreative, or just don’t care about the person they’re buying for. If you already know what you’re getting and it’s something you would pick out and get for yourself, they may as well hand you cash and call it a day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 03:05 PM
254

This is why you should feel like the only woman in the world to a man from day one. They know very early whether you’re wife material to them or not. A HV man will pursue you and you alone, and leave no doubt in your mind that he wants you. Any talk of an ex, or other women, or feeling like you have to compete with anyone for him is a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 04:34 PM
79

I’m happy for you girlfriend! I like your perspective on HV- you can be a work in progress and still treat each other well and work on improving. -he helps strangers in bad situations This one is so important to me as well. My ex once kept a wallet with $400 in it at work, even after the guy came asking if anyone had found it. Lied to his face with the wallet in his pocket and then told me about it like it was no big deal. I’ve never lost attraction so fast. My husband on the other hand, delayed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 03:53 PM
102

Good for you girl! Not tolerating disrespect is such a simple and important thing. Just remember that even though logically you’re better off without LV people, it’s still normal to miss them sometimes. It always helped me to journal or write out a list of all the ways they disrespected you, or upset you, their character flaws, etc. If ever you’re missing them, refer to the list to remind yourself why you let them go in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 01:17 PM
295

I love how he’s totally unwilling to compromise anything for a woman he supposedly loves. When I started dating my husband, before we even lived together, he got a new job so he could work mornings like I do. He’s also a night owl and loves staying up late. Instead of doing that, he comes to bed with me almost every night, gets up early with me and makes me coffee before work. This man does not love her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 10:13 PM
67

Agreed! I thought I knew true love in my first long term relationship. It wasn’t until I started dating my husband that I realized “oh, this is how it feels to be in love”. I don’t believe in the concept of the one or soulmates, there are plenty of people out there you could be compatible with. But finding one of them is worth the wait. You really do just know when you find them. It’s effortless to be together when you both wholeheartedly choose one another. It’s not all whirlwind romance and fi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 02:16 PM
16

Tbh at face value, I can see where he’s coming from. If my partner were ignoring me for their phone while spending time with me, prioritizing their hobbies over me, avoiding my family, and making little effort to foster any kind of intimacy I would be unhappy too. This looks more like a case of incompatibility to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 06:12 PM
273

I can’t get over the under 120 lbs thing. So you want someone half your height or with an eating disorder? I have 40 lbs on that and I’m thin for my 5’8” height.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 01:41 PM
143

Any weirdness with an ex is a red flag. Talking about her, remaining friends with her, pulling the poor pitiful me card because she dumped him, comparing you to her, any of it. A HV man will take time after a break up to heal and move on before getting serious with someone else. Their ex will not feel like a factor in your relationship at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 07:15 PM
153

What a lovely story (minus you being way too high lol). I had a similar experience with my husband early on. I got way too drunk at a new year’s party. Like, throwing up way too drunk. It was embarrassing. He was such a good sport about it. He drove us home super carefully so I didn’t get nauseous. He tucked me in, cuddled me so I didn’t get cold, and stayed up late in case I needed him. I woke up to a trash can by the bed, and water on the nightstand. I checked my phone and he had texted me a s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 06:55 PM
16

Girl SAME! That friend really started getting bitter when I began dating my now husband. We got engaged at seven months while she had been with her FWB-turned boyfriend for two years. She couldn’t have been any less happy for me. I actually cut her off over drama around my bachelorette party. Like why do they get mad at us because we don’t settle for losers like they do? I’m happy for you, we’re better off without that negative energy lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 06:07 PM
55

100% yes! I drive a forklift and work in a very male dominated field. I’m better at my job than men who have 10 years of experience on me, and my supervisor has bent over backwards to keep me. I still occasionally have men try to tell me how to move something while I’m in the middle of doing it. I’ve had an outside vendor laugh when I told him I’d be unloading his truck, and ask if there was a dude around to do it. I’ve had guys tell me I was too pretty to drive and needed an office job instead.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 05:16 PM
38

It’s a shame the whole love language thing has been twisted by men into a manipulation tactic. It can be a valuable tool to show affection in a HV relationship. My husband’s love language is physical touch outside of the bedroom. He loves to hold hands, cuddle, hug, rub my back, etc. Mine is acts of service, so I come home to a clean kitchen, a vacuumed floor, and folded laundry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 01:25 PM
77

Love this. Applies to your pickme friends as well. I’ve told this story before, but my ex bestie and I had a falling out over me leveling up. I spent a year making plans and getting my shit together while she made some of the worst life decisions possible. She became so resentful it was palpable. She wasn’t happy for me that I was no longer her introverted sidekick, but a well rounded individual that didn’t tolerate her selfish ways anymore. I let her go and life has been more peaceful without h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 12:36 PM
417

“…even though he wasn’t active on it.” Oh really? According to who, him? Guarantee he didn’t provide any proof. It’s been recommended on this sub before to go through your mans phone. Personally, I wouldn’t. I would be furious if he went through mine for no reason. But if there is a reason, any suspicious activity at all, he should have no problem unlocking his phone and handing it to you. He has nothing to hide right? If I were in this woman’s position I would have demanded to scour his phone w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 02:23 PM
158

Even if testosterone isn’t the cause, men are the more emotional gender by far. I’ve seen them break controllers because a video game pissed them off. I’ve seen them cry out of frustration. I’ve seen them fall into depression because they lost “the one” that they treated like shit and drove them to leave. Meanwhile us ladies are analyzing our emotions, journaling, going to therapy, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 05:00 PM
210

They always come back. My ex texted me a few weeks ago, which I ignored. We broke up three years ago and I’m happily married now. The more pathetic they are, the longer they hold on to the woman who once settled for them. They obsess and idealize her so much that no woman after can measure up to the memory of the one they didn’t bother to keep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 02:17 PM
6

Again it’s not playing hard to get. Show your interest, flirt with him, be enthusiastic when you have dates planned. But keep FDS in mind. He should be initiating and you should have a full busy life outside of him. As OP said, a guy who’s really into you won’t be turned off if you miss one text or turn down one date if you otherwise seem interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 03:04 PM
10

Yes and no. I think it’s important to remain fairly independent and individual even in a marriage. But we’re both romantics at heart. We spend a lot of time together. He knows I love him dearly but he also knows I’ll leave if he mistreats me. Don’t ever let a man think he has you for life no matter what.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 02:53 PM
238

Totally agree! I did this with my husband. I turned him down the first time he asked me out. I told him I’d love to but I was busy that day, and didn’t suggest any other plans. He asked me out again and I said yes. I never texted him first until we were official. My mom even told me I should reach out or he wouldn’t think I was interested. I didn’t. He says that my aloofness before we were official drove him crazy in a good way. That he knew he had to bring his best to impress me. This is how yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 06:27 PM
35

I definitely dealt with pickmes more when I was younger. Middle school was the worst, as I was a shy, average girl who wasn’t interested in boys, and all my friends were boy crazy. But it’s hard to say if that’s a “youth” issue or that I’ve gotten better at establishing boundaries and avoiding toxicity. I recently cut contact with my best friend of five years over her pickme behavior. We’re both in our mid twenties. Not everyone matures the same and some women never learn to stop prioritizing me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 05:14 PM
49

This is why I would prefer to pick the restaurant myself. I used to work at my favorite restaurant in town, so I personally know most of the staff, love the food, and I’m very familiar with the area. My husband took me there for our first date. I told my parents “at least if the date sucks dinner will be good.” This is also a decent vetting strategy. If he has any qualms about taking you to the restaurant of your choosing, don’t go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 12:57 PM
165

See women look at the SAHM role entirely wrong. They’re willing to live that lifestyle without the man filling his role. My parents had a “traditional” marriage. Dad worked, mom took care of the house and kids. Every penny my dad made went into mom’s bank account to be managed by her. Dad got a weekly allowance and they decided together how to make big purchases. This way they’re both in control of the finances in their own way. This woman’s right about one thing- this arrangement requires trust…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 12:40 PM
473

If he really wanted it back he wouldn’t leave the burden of delivering it on someone states away without a car. Pawn that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 05:32 PM
133

Be a bitch. Ladies are so afraid of coming off as a bitch. You’re not obligated to be agreeable if he’s making you uncomfortable. He practically stalked you and now won’t take a hint. You’re going to have to lay down the law. “I’m not interested, don’t contact me again.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 06:08 PM
22

I also dropped that friend. It just strikes me as childish and selfish to expect someone to respond to your drama all day. Like a kid poking you in the side at the dinner table while you’re trying to hold a conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 03:51 PM
59

Thank you! Assuming this is true, why would you feel the need to stalk seven months worth of post history of someone you’re dating? That’s walking a very thin line between curiosity and crossing boundaries. Does he also go through her phone? Check her FB messages?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 03:42 PM
47

And gambling = pissing away money unless you’re reeeaally good at it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 03:13 PM
32

Girl I feel your pain. Yes it’s horrid to have to live in close proximity when you want nothing to do with them. The first time we broke up was about a week before we had to renew the lease or move out. We got back together and decided to give it one more try out of convenience. Mistake. I knew within six months we wouldn’t renew the lease again. I’m not sure if that was any better than your situation. At least yours wasn’t your own bad decision.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 03:11 PM
34

Ah you’re right, I missed that, duh lol. And you’re right, that is worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 03:05 PM
117

Totally true. When I dumped my ex we unfortunately lived together for two more months. It was emotional chaos on his end. He oscillated between being clingy, to crying, to being sulky and passive aggressive, to ignoring me and staying in the spare bedroom. Mind you this was the second time I dumped him. All I felt by then was disdain and resentment, I had no sympathy. But I’ll never forget how any respect I had for him was eroded in those two months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 02:20 PM
103

I love this. An old friend used to send me walls of text about her shitty day or her boyfriend drama. It was mentally exhausting being her digital therapist. It was such a relief when I realized I could just… not respond. Eventually I just stopped reading anything she sent more than a paragraph long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 02:12 PM
234

Girl gave him almost 40 grand for something he’s doing as a hobby, and they aren’t even married I assume. 🤡 Also, he agreed to call it quits at 15k, dropped below that, and keeps trading. His word isn’t worth shit. He’s a damn liar. My ex used to pull that with me. He’s placating you in the moment to end the conversation and has no intention of following through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 01:39 PM
50

Watching Cinnamon Toast Ken react videos roasting this dude are my guilty pleasure lol. Can we even count the sea of red flags this scrote is swimming in? His own daughter thought it was gross he was dating women her age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 11:50 AM
30

Completely agree. The first time I broke up with my ex I felt terrible. I tried to be sympathetic and considerate. He literally begged and cried so I took him back. The second time I was so disappointed to still have the same problems and I did NOT care how he felt. I suggested a break to avoid his emotional fallout, moved back home, and just blocked him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 07:22 PM
26

I’m glad you got away from him! Don’t feel bad, sometimes you have to get to a point where you’re just DONE to see things objectively.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 05:10 PM
68

Yes, I do expect them to pay for a first date meal. It’s an investment on their part into our future potential relationship. It’s a down payment for my time, attention, and energy. If a man won’t pay for dinner or asks you to go halves, he doesn’t see you as someone to invest in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 03:34 PM
49

Exactly, you’ll still be dealing with the same issues. But now with added resentment and lack of respect. They have no incentive to change if they know they can just win you back, and they think less of you for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 03:25 PM
314

How many of us ladies got back with an ex at some point? And how many of us are still with them? I’d bet almost none. Here’s the thing about breaking up- the first time is the hardest. Once you get back together, every issue that comes up, you’ll wonder if he’s going to leave you again, or if you should leave him again. That’s not a healthy energy to have in a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 01:55 PM
26

100%. I’m not into guys that aren’t handy. If I know more about maintaining a car than you, it’s a no for me. I hate changing brakes and oil and I want it done for me. My husband has never had a problem with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 12:43 PM
88

In my experience, a guy who’s really into you will probably ask you out pretty quickly after getting acquainted, and ask for exclusivity after just a couple dates. You shouldn’t feel rushed or pressured, but there should be no doubt that he wants to be with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 12:29 PM
66

My ex and I were going on a weekend trip for Valentines day one year. The morning of, as we’re leaving, he realized he forgot to get me anything. So he drove us to a Walgreens, and made me wait in the car while he bought me a stuffed bear. That night, I surprised him with the heart patterned lingerie I had bought weeks before just for the trip. He said he was disappointed because it wasn’t really a gift for him. Excuse me!? As if that bear was such a heartfelt gift for me. We spent the rest of t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 06:54 PM
369

Translation for scrotes: we would rather scoop shit out of a box than date you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 06:43 PM
492

I love how money is pictured four times, as if it’s women who are draining their bank account. Dudes are broke because they’ve never written a budget, drink their weight in alcohol, eat out every day, forget to cancel subscriptions, and buy tacky media-related figurines and video games.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 06:20 PM
40

Girl SAME! My ex also told me, when I broke up with him the second time, that he had known we weren’t right for each other for a long time. Like what?? Then why are you still trying to drag this out? Why waste my time? And he still wanted to work things out! That’s why I suggested the break, so I could work on my exit strategy without his emotional whiplash. I hope you don’t feel guilty for being smart enough to put an end to it. You tried to break up with him honestly and maturely, he drove you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 04:25 PM
183

I completely agree that all a “break” is, is a prelude to an actual break up. That being said, ladies, you can use this to your advantage. Years ago, I tried to leave my ex twice and he literally begged and cried for me to give him another chance both times. So I suggested we take a break. It softened the blow and prevented him from being a sulky, petulant dick while I got my shit in order. I moved back home, with his help, because he ultimately wanted to win me over again. Then I blocked him an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 02:09 PM
417

Little do they know us ladies have “boxes” for men too. Visibly a decade older? Predator. Under 5’8”? Friend material. Attractive but misogynistic? Fuckboy. Angry tendencies? Abusive. Jealous? Serial cheater. I could go on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 07:10 PM
175

A pickme is someone who values male attention and validation to the detriment of themselves. I don’t think I was ever a pickme. Did I make the all the best choices in relationships past? No. But I had standards even when I started dating in my teens, they just needed to be a higher. My long time ex, as passive and LV as he was, never dared raise his voice, threaten me, neg me, etc. I watched all my pretty, outgoing, pickme friends date around when we were young, while I was focused on myself. An…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 05:44 PM
199

No wonder the wife isn’t attracted to him. He “isn’t in the habit” of caring for his own child so he shoves it off on the MIL, and then resents her presence. She’s the live in nanny and wife’s mother, have some respect dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 04:31 PM
52

Notice how he offered other alternatives. It’s not about the money. He’s basically saying “I could afford the one ring she really wants, but she’s so set on it I can’t bring myself to get it for her because I lowkey hate her.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 02:00 PM
118

Advice is like a buffet, take what you want and leave the rest for someone else. As a general rule I wouldn’t take dating advice from a man. They just don’t get it, you know? Like how he suggests women approaching men. We know that doesn’t work. Maybe you can learn something from them, but I would scrutinize a man’s perspective much more harshly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 12:41 PM
275

That’s what struck me the most. If you’re not getting off at any point during sex and have to finish yourself, your man is shitty in bed. And I don’t mean exclusively PIV. That’s never worked for me, either. But my husband takes care of my needs every. time. Without fail. Because he doesn’t suck in bed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 10:21 PM
79

So many from my childhood ruined. The Notebook. Dude literally blackmails her into a date by threatening suicide. He’s Just Not That Into You. Holy shit I can’t stand this movie anymore. Main guy rejects main girl’s advances repeatedly until she finally wins him over, every pickme’s dream. Couple in a decades long relationship finally get engaged. Barf. Loser who’s unhappy in his marriage can’t work up the balls to end it, gets dumped when he gets caught cheating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 04:22 PM
29

We haven’t spoken in almost a year, but I’d bet money she’s still with him. She was terrified of being single, and willing to bend over backwards to keep a guy. As in, she was always child free, but was playing mommy to his two kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 04:00 PM
310

This could also be projection. If a man is accusing you of something unfounded, you’re fist thought should be that he’s doing it himself. Like getting accused of cheating or flirting with other men. Being jealous and paranoid of you stepping out is a classic reaction to their own cheating. They know how easy and tempting it is- you must be doing it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 02:28 PM
50

Same thing, I just stopped caring. Like girl, don’t get mad at me when I took my own advice and landed a good guy. I’ve been telling you this for years, I’m passed the point of sympathy. Sucks to suck 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 02:13 PM
277

This is one of the sad realities of following FDS- now you notice this kind of thing everywhere. Shitty men treating the women in their life terribly, and pickmes you can’t help. I saw it in my best friend and tried to help her, and she pushed back hard. After her ignoring my advice for years I started dating my now husband. She resented the difference in our relationships so much she stopped acting like a friend to me. And I mean, it was like a light switch. She basically wanted nothing to do w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 12:45 PM
88

I tried to help my ex best friend. It was more frustrating than anything. I didn’t try to be her dating coach or dictate her every move. But when she asked for my advice I gave her my honest opinions, and we talked about her relationships a lot. Boy, did she not like that. Most pickmes just want to be told what they want to hear, not the truth. It went from her ignoring my advice, to no longer asking me for it, to clear resentment when my own strategies landed me in a healthy relationship with m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 12:30 PM
24

Yes! Journaling is so helpful! I did something similar when I made the decision to leave my ex. I wrote a list off the top of my head of things I hated about him, so I wouldn’t forget. It ended up being two pages long. If ever I doubted my decision to leave all I had to do was refer to the list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 11:51 AM
6

Oh women definitely get compliments on their work, but they have to work twice as hard as men to “earn” them. I work in a male dominated field, driving a forklift and I out perform men who have been doing my job for decades. It’s something that comes so naturally to me, my skills are undeniable. Other drivers ask me how I got so good and supervisors in other departments have asked me to drive for them. I’m very comfortable at my job because my boss knows I’m the best and does everything he can t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 03:28 PM
25

I distinctly remember how much my ex started to annoy me once I lost attraction to him. Things that like his slight speech impediment and his weird laugh were so unbearable by the time we broke up, his presence just put me in a bad mood. It was something that didn’t really even register at the time. On the other hand, my husband has a few quirky mannerisms, like the way he slightly sticks out his tongue when he laughs sometimes, and I find it super adorable. You’re right, if you don’t find their…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 03:59 PM
538

On the bright side, how much effort they put into dates is a great way to gauge their interest in you as an individual. Do you think if they got a chance with Megan Fox they would ask her out for coffee? Ask her to go halfsies? Put the burden of planning an activity on her? No. They’d be tripping over themselves to come correct and impress her, because that’s how they act when they give a shit what a woman thinks of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 06:57 PM
102

Oh for sure. My mom is my uncle’s secretary at his business. If she didn’t work for him, we wouldn’t speak to him and his wife, but that’s a whole other story. She basically runs the joint while he and his son pop in and out because they’re too busy with whatever to run their own business. My mom was out sick for a year battling cancer, and my uncle had the audacity to lie to my granny and tell her that he paid my mom for that year. Mom showed my granny her bank statements to prove he was lying,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 04:32 PM
16

It is hurtful and so rude! Especially when you make every effort to be a good friend and still take the backseat to their boyfriend that isn’t even nice to them. At this point, I’ve just decided I will not be friends with men-obsessed women. They will never prioritize your friendship over any guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 04:09 PM
16

That’s so many layers of rude and selfish. I’m sorry you went through that. Reminds me if my boyfriend-obsessed ex bestie. So Halloween was “our” holiday, we always celebrated it together. Then one year she invited her boyfriend and his friends, and basically cut me out of our plans by scheduling it on a night I had to work because “that’s when everyone else could go.” Instead of offering some alternative or planning something else, she ignored me for all of October to avoid apologizing. I went …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 02:45 PM
44

My ex bestie used to do the. same. thing. “I’m fighting with my bf so I need a girl’s night! Let’s go on vacay!” So normally my company is an afterthought, but when you’re mad at your bf suddenly you demand my time and attention? Grow up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 02:29 PM
16

My ex best friend. I discovered FDS years ago, and tried to help her since she asked for my advice constantly. I was so happy for her when she dumped her loser boyfriend of nine years… only to jump into a FWB situation with a man a decade older with two kids, and she was child free. She told me she was falling for him, and asked him to be with her. Meanwhile I met my now husband. We started dating and got engaged in less than a year. My bff was visibly jealous of our relationship. She refused to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 01:11 PM
27

Yes! There’s no need to play mind games or put effort into figuring things out. Relax. Follow his lead. If he wants to be with you he’ll let you know. If not, just be prepared to move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 12:42 PM
212

This here. This is my husband, and a huge part of why I chose to be with him. He doesn’t just notice when I’m uncomfortable, he anticipates my needs beforehand, and has from the beginning. Small things such as keeping extra hair ties in his car for me, to bigger things like making sure I’m comfortable at family get-togethers. I have a minuscule social battery, so he introduced me to his large family in small doses instead of overwhelming me with 30 people at their cookouts. He’s 100% a dog perso…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 04:36 PM
117

Yes! Your partner is a reflection of you. Like it or not, if he sucks, people will think the same about you by association. I remember being embarrassed of my ex. I hated talking about him or having him join me in social settings. He was a socially anxious mope that oozed insecurity. I knew other people could see that and I hated how bad he made me look for dating such a loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 01:13 PM
31

So many great responses this will probably get buried lol. But a HUGE one for me I didn’t see anyone mention: Doesn’t have any close women in his family besides his mother. Men who grow up surrounded by other men have less empathy for women, because they aren’t raised around any of their influence. It’s something I’ve noticed that men with sisters or close female cousins are just better in that regard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 01:02 PM
13

Unless it’s the phrase “I simp for you darling” while we both laugh at the losers who use it as an insult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 12:54 PM
5

Guarantee it was sent after 8:00pm too. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 04:39 PM
15

Same here. His mother said that I made him a better man. At the time I took it as a compliment. Now I realize she insulted her own son 🚩 It was so refreshing meeting my husband’s family. They thought very highly of him and were proud of the man he is. HV men don’t require a woman to make them better, they show up that way lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 04:35 PM
79

It’s like a job interview. Your first one at 18 fresh out of high school was probably nerve wracking. At 25, with multiple jobs behind me, knowing what pay I expect and what conditions I’m willing to accept, it’s a totally flipped script. They should be grateful for my labor and meet my standards, and I go to interviews with that mindset. Dating is the same. They should be trying to impress you. Do you like them? Are they attractive to you? Are their manners up to par? Do they seem interesting e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 04:28 PM
191

100%. Friend of mine went through this. She thought it was such a huge step forward for their FWB turned relationship. Spoiler alert, he wanted an extra hand around the house. I met and married my husband in the time they’ve been together. Now she’s playing mommy to some other woman’s kids when she never wanted any herself. I gave up trying to help her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 04:16 PM
43

<Men choose to forgive, women are TOLD to forgive. This point sticks out to me as well. If someone hurts you, they don’t get to define if and when you forgive them. It’s on your timeline now. I absolutely despise the narrative that forgiveness is the “right” and “mature” thing to do. Not everything is forgivable. You’re not petty, you’re not a bitch, and you’re not immature for deciding not to just things go that justifiably upset you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 01:34 PM
23

I totally agree, men who haven’t been divorced for a long while are not dating material. Most women initiate divorce, so statistically that recently divorced man probably lived in denial up until the very end, and only began actually working through the emotional aspects afterwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 01:23 PM
70

If a man tried to propose to me without a ring, I’d say no immediately just on principle. It’s not that fucking hard to pick one out if you pay attention and give a shit. My engagement ring is my favorite piece of jewelry I own, it’s perfect for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 12:13 AM
34

My husband and I vacation together. We wouldn’t go without each other. Different things work for different couples, but I wouldn’t want to go an adventure without him. And I would be pissed to be excluded if the roles were reversed. I’ve gone on vacation in the past without my ex SO, it was a girl’s trip with my best friend to the beach. And we were both on vacation to spend time away from our shitty boyfriends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 06:04 PM
25

Yes, more good stories! FDS can feel so negative at times. There are great men out there, it just takes time to find one. It’s so disheartening when someone posts a sweet story about their relationship and the comment section consists of “that sounds great buuuutttt have you considered it may be a red flag / all an act?” Like, yes, we’ve been paying attention. We’re on FDS aren’t we? Lol. Have a little faith in your fellow women’s judgement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 02:05 PM
97

As it should be, good for you! It’s a totally different feeling when you know they make you a priority. My ex hated morning shift and I hate night shift. We worked opposite schedules for three years, even after he told me he would change it. He only switched when I dumped him, in a lame attempt to win me back. My husband also hates mornings. He made the switch almost as soon as we started dating so we could spend more time together, and now he makes me coffee every day when we get up together at…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 01:28 PM
519

Oh absolutely the fuck not. How do women tolerate this shit? When it’s right before your eyes that your husband loathes you. And she just threw that in there as a casual aside, like “he can only bare to spend half an hour with me a day, but let me go on about the real issue- a pretty young lady”. NO MA’AM. The problem is the hates you, the pretty young girl is a symptom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 12:59 PM
47

Troglodyte 😂 girl you killed me. I will never understand any party that refuses divorce. What exactly do you gain by that?? Dragging out the process and causing as much headache as possible? So by the end of it they hate you and your entire memory on top of the reasons they left you. Have some class.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 12:50 PM
38

Oh they weren’t HV gems by any stretch if the imagination. But they were more fun to spend an evening with than my jealous, socially anxious ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 03:46 PM
107

God yes. Insecurity is such a turn off. My ex wouldn’t let me join him and his friends because he was worried I’d like them more. He wasn’t even wrong, they were all more interesting than him lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 02:33 PM
12

I can definitely relate. My FDS journey began the end of my closest friendship lol. She was and, as far as I know, still is a massive pickme. Dating loser after loser, and talking my ears off about their issues while never taking my advice. I would get so frustrated I eventually just refused to talk about her relationships. It was a waste of time. Then I met my husband. We got engaged in less than a year, while she had been dating her boyfriend twice that long with no ring in sight. I think she …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 02:26 PM
37

Ask any happily married HV couple how long they dated before they knew they wanted to be married to each other. Odds are it was a very short amount of time. It doesn’t take years to figure out if someone is marriage material for you, and thinking that way is how you end up a forever gf. My parents got engaged 4 months into dating and have been together in marital bliss for 40 years now. My husband and I got engaged 7 months in. To commitment phobes, that sounds like rushing into things. But what…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 01:07 PM
92

Totally agree, huge red flag. My main love language is also physical touch and this shit still wouldn’t work on me. I’m very picky about men putting their hands on me and I will be a bitch about it if they cross a line too soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 04:50 PM
70

This. If he’s spending so much time at home doing nothing productive I can imagine her resentment building. My husband got laid off a few months ago. For several weeks I no longer had to do laundry, cleaning, and rarely cooked dinner. Because that’s what a considerate life partner would do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 12:38 PM
36

Fellow introvert chiming in- leaving the house doesn’t qualify as alone time. Where does he think she’s going to go to be alone in public?? “Alone time” means having the house to yourself to unwind, so you can sing loudly, dance around with your tits out, or whatever goofy things you do. He can’t be bothered to leave the house once a week for eight hours at his wife’s request? Inconsiderate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 12:34 PM
274

Just say you’re too lazy to take a woman on a date lol. Also this only applies to women they’re not that into. If they got a chance with Megan Fox, would they ask her to pick up dry cleaning with them? Fuck no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 12:24 PM
140

Yes. What also goes hand in hand with trusting your intuition, is to ask yourself “am I happy with him?” If you’re dating with the intent of marriage, you’re potentially attaching yourself to him for the rest of your life. If that thought doesn’t fill you with joy, he’s not the man for you. Even if he isn’t a narcissist or abusive, your closest relationship should be one that excites you- not one that makes you feel conflicted or the need to ask internet strangers about your issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 06:17 PM
20

What is with men and their shitty gifts?? My ex was the same way. Never once got me a gift that was thoughtful or that I actually liked. He bought me Christmas gifts that I was literally embarrassed to open in front of my family. Like, a useless as-seen-on-tv kitchen gadget and an ugly wooden ring that looked like it was picked out of the mens section. Meanwhile I had bought him several custom, expensive gifts that were tailored to his interests that he loved. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 05:10 PM
213

If you’re asking for a stranger’s perspective on your relationship you’re probably passed the point of just communicating. What two mature adults who love each other can’t work out their issues among themselves? With my ex, I tried communicating until I realized it did zero good. By the time I was googling our issues and asking Reddit for advice I was basically just wanting to hear the hard truth from an outside POV- that we were as good as over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 04:56 PM
58

The human female body isn’t meant to be all skin and bone. It’s such a BS modern standard. Look at Roman statues of women, of the Greek goddesses. They had rolls and stomach pudge. And they were the epitome of beauty. If people don’t love your healthy Aphrodite body, that’s their problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 02:45 PM
28

This! The other men in his life can be the best indication of what he’s really like, and how they treat you can be super telling as well. That was one of the biggest green flags I noticed when I started dating my husband. All the men in his family, especially his dad are HV, hard working, and treat their wives incredibly well. His friends were welcoming and respectful- and knew all about me before we met. These are things to look for. A HV man will be excited to integrate you into all aspects of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 06:27 PM
67

Girl don’t feel bad. It took me until adulthood to realize that most advice in general is garbage. We’re all winging it in life. No one has it all figured out. That’s why you should consider the source and how much you trust the advisor. Even outside of men, be skeptical. Figure things out for yourself and do things your own way. Trust your gut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 11:53 AM
2

Happy belated new years! I admire your mindset. I’m married but my independence and individuality is important to me. After reading your post, I wrote out a list of goals for myself this year. Thanks for the inspiration!! 🥳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 01:38 PM
6

I feel attacked lol. My ex was in college when I was a high school senior. And you’re right- there were reasons no one his age wanted him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 06:06 PM
108

Exactly why I don’t have social media or OLD. You want to take me on a date? Impress me in person. You want my number? Work for it, almost no one has my number. Good luck losers lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 11:01 AM
17

Ugh the life script is real. I’m a rebel at heart. The more you push me one direction, the harder I will fight for a different path. Not going to college, not having kids, not doing a damn thing I’m told is how I found happiness. Maybe if these people would dig deep in their sheep brains they’d realize that no one’s opinion of your life matters except your own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 04:14 PM
104

Girl same. I’ve been told all my life “oh, you’ll change your mind when xzy happens.” Oh really? Because the more I’m around children, the more birth horror stories I hear, and the more never ending complaints from parents about their children has only made me more firm in my choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 04:06 PM
79

Be it a diamond or other precious gem, I can’t resist the urge to hoard them like a dragon protecting its shinies lol. From a historical perspective, jewels used to be a woman’s only asset. Men owned all the property and the family money. That’s why men would give jewelry as a gift, so his wife wouldn’t be penniless if he died or she chose to leave him. Providing that insurance was the ultimate form of romance. I believe that’s where the tradition of engagement rings originated. I hope my ancest…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 03:47 PM
105

Excellent point. I’d also like to add that these stories rub me the wrong way because they perpetuate the myth that hookup culture is a good thing. Maybe some of these women do end up in good relationships but they’re the exception, not the rule. What do women get out of a hookup? Unsatisfactory sex with someone who doesn’t care about them at the risk of their health, safety, and potential of pregnancy. We all know that no loser will turn down sex, so it’s not even a compliment. A HV man will tu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 03:08 PM
148

I remember this post. Loved her response! My cat is my baby. Anyone who suggested I compromise his quality of life for their preference would get immediately dumped. Yes, I would 100% choose my cat over any man ever. Die mad about it lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 01:27 PM
175

Haha I love this take. I suppose I did this accidentally with my now husband. When we met I was adamantly single. There was attraction but I had no hope for men at that point. He did all the work until we were official. He planned the dates, he paid, he called and texted me first. I remember my mom telling me “if you like him you should initiate something so he doesn’t think you’re not interested.” I was like “mom, love you, but no. I have a life to live wether this goes somewhere or not. It’s w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 01:22 PM
45

I’m glad you saw the light and left him. I can relate to the idea of mourning the relationship before it’s actually over. This is why women tend to move on faster after a break up. Men are content to stay with someone who doesn’t make them happy, we are not. Breaking up with someone you’ve been with a while is usually well thought out. They’re given multiple chances even if they’re not aware of it, and continuously fail. So by the time a woman is ready to dump a man, there’s a lot of bitterness,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 12:53 PM
170

Totally agree. When my husband and I first started dating we worked opposite shifts. He would get home from working night shift, and get less sleep than he should have been so he could be awake and make time for me when I got off work in the afternoon. When that started to wear on him, he changed shifts to match mine, even though he hated morning shift. Now, he gets up with me every morning and makes me coffee before work. He doesn’t consider it going above and beyond either. This is just how a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 03:53 PM
134

Totally agree! LV men go on and on about how “it’s the thought that counts!!” But what thought goes into picking some item off her amazon wishlist? Or having to tell you what she wants, and probably coming up with several options so it’s at least somewhat of a surprise. Also, hot take: if he gets you anything cooking or cleaning related that you didn’t specifically mention, dump him. My ex got me a lettuce chopper once for Christmas. I’ve never been so embarrassed to open a gift in front of my f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 01:08 PM
76

Let them think what they want. Real men will respect you however you choose to live. If my husband ever earns enough that I can stop working, bet your ass I will. I’ll manage the money and the chores and spend the rest of my time however I damn well please. Instead of toiling away 40 hours a week until my 60s. Sounds good to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 07:22 PM
42

Also what’s wrong with being a housewife? That’s how all of this used to work. The man provided and the woman managed the household. Fair division of labor. Hell, I’m antiwork myself. Under the right circumstances, being financially secure outside of my husband, I’d gladly be a housewife. More time for me 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 07:16 PM
239

Exactly! It’s all about what they want, nevermind them upholding their end of the bargain. You want traditional? Cool, you work full-time, deposit your checks into my bank account, and I’ll manage it without your input. You want me to cook and clean? Cool, fix my car and make home repairs without calling a professional. You want to be treated like a king? Cool, lavish me with expensive jewelry and prioritize me like the goddamn queen I am. No? Then don’t be surprised no one wants to settle for y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 06:55 PM
124

I myself am a gamer, it was my biggest hobby growing up. And I still avoided these men. HV men who prioritize their lives outside of games do exist. My husband goes out of his way to find games we can play together and knows when to put the controller down. But early on? I saw it as a red flag and made it clear I would NOT take backseat to a console. Thankfully he’s not the hobo-in-their-moms-basement stereotype, like most self proclaimed gamers are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 06:39 PM
37

If you’re truly marriage minded, embrace that as an expectation. Ideally if he is as well he will be the one to start that conversation, and probably within a year. Everyone’s timeline looks different but it doesn’t take that long to decide if someone is marriage material. When the subject comes up let him lead the conversation. Maybe let him know what you expect but no ultimatums. A man who really wants to marry you will put forth the effort without you holding his hand through it or backing hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 04:38 PM
87

This. I think it’s possible that even HV men and women can get complacent in a long term relationship. Shaping up when the line has been drawn is what sets them apart. This happened with my parents in their early years of marriage. My dad like to drink and started staying out more. When my mom got pregnant, she put her foot down and threatened to leave if he didn’t get it together. He did. 40 years later, they’re one of the happiest couples I know and dad no longer drinks at all. No one is perfe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 01:34 PM
7

I agree with everything except the introvert assessment. Being introverted doesn’t mean you’re socially inept or antisocial. Plenty of us ladies fall into that category, and we can still make conversation and pull of a friendly persona. We’d just prefer not to lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 11:14 AM
83

Ugh this kind of gift giving is so damn lazy. My ex once bought me a ring for Christmas. It was wood and resin, chunky, looked like a mens ring, just hideous. All of my jewelry is dainty and silver. I hated that ring and never once wore it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 10:59 AM
168

These men are so lazy lol. They act like the rest of their natural lives will be spent chasing this one woman. Things even out once you’re in an established relationship. Put a little fucking effort in, is that so hard? Would y’all expect Megan Fox to chase you? I don’t think so. The bare minimum effort you can do for a woman you’re genuinely interested in is take the initiative. I never initiated any dates with my husband and never texted him first. If anything, I downplayed my interest in him …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 12:26 PM
197

I also hated that as an insult. Just because a woman is too busy with work, education, hobbies, and a social life to let multiple losers raw dog her doesn’t mean she’s sheltered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 07:52 PM
16

This is such a common, pathetic occurrence. I’ve seen it with my friends relationships and my own in the past. I watched my close friend go through the cycle with her ex, forgiving him repeatedly when he shaped up just as she was preparing to dump him. And I’m so thankful for that experience. It prepared me for the same when I left my ex. Before I always had to practically beg him to spend time with me. Then suddenly when we broke up but were still living together, I practically couldn’t get him…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 01:06 PM
178

Ironically most people I know who don’t know when to shut up are men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 05:30 PM
61

Yes girl! If I hadn’t started browsing FDS and realized having standards IS THE WAY, I’d still be with my ex. Going 50/50 while making less, taking second place to porn and all around settling. Instead I married a wonderful man who adores me, shows me off, and takes care of me. Hell, even when I was single I was happier than when I accepted less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 06:56 PM
20

I found this so amusing lol. Good for you, seeing through the bullshit. But the reality is- you aren’t his dream girl. And that’s nothing against you, it’s a testament to what we all know: they always come back. I broke up with my ex three years ago. He texted me within the last month, and for the second time I didn’t respond. I’m married now and was moved on the minute we parted ways. I still apparently live rent free in his head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 03:33 PM
110

Thank you, yes! I wish I had read this post years ago. There’s a huge difference between being high value and just not being a shitbag lol. Like my ex. He was never rude or abusive to me. But he certainly didn’t adore me. He held down a job and paid bills. But he had no ambition and no savings ever. He talked about marriage early on. But five years in he put so many hurdles between us and marriage it was never gonna happen. He didn’t make my life a living hell but he sure as shit didn’t make me …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 01:07 PM
30

Hell yes girl, and only six months in? 🙌🏻 I wish I had been that wise in my last six year relationship. Staying just because they’re nice and respectful is settling. Good for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 02:00 PM
51

I wouldn’t say worse necessarily, but having and LV energy in your life is going to drag you down, women included. I’ve had my fair share of pickme friends and they are just as exhausting as men. I’ve had multiple friends drain me emotionally to talk about their shitty boyfriends, ask for my advice, and then ignore it completely. Or they criticize my appearance because I don’t care about appealing to the male gaze, and think they’re superior to me because they get cat called and I don’t. Their l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 05:36 PM
11

We got married on our first anniversary. Literally exactly a year lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 02:28 PM
15

Could have phrased that better lol. I was constantly expecting the worst and it never happened. Like that he’s a gamer (I am too btw). I was expecting him to be like my ex, totally addicted and neglecting me to play LoL or whatever. But he isn’t, he’s never ignored me over a game and goes out of his way to find games I enjoy so we can play together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 02:10 PM
10

“Or more likely, he got what he wanted when he promised to so now he doesn’t have to follow through.” I’m so triggered lol. This brought to mind my pickme ex bestie. I recently ghosted her after five years of friendship because of her LV behavior. One September, she wanted me to accompany her to a music event her friend was going to be in. I didn’t want to go, like at all. She spent an entire evening trying to talk me into it. We worked opposite shifts at the same factory, so I would’ve had to t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 06:59 PM
232

Completely agree. In all relationships past I ignored my gut feelings at some point and it came back to bite me in the ass. The only success I’ve had is with my husband. I had been on FDS for years when we met and had many bad experiences before. I was on high alert with him, ready to drop him at a moment’s notice. But my intuition never told me to run. In many situations I was sure how it would play out, but I was always pleasantly surprised by him. He never made me doubt his interest or our re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 04:24 PM
96

That’s so shitty. Why do they think their gifts chosen out of panic or obligation are worth anything? Just say “I’m sorry I forgot, I’ll get you something special tomorrow.” Like dumbass, we know you forgot. Your shitty gift doesn’t make us feel better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 03:42 PM
206

My ex was an absolute dogshit gift giver. Once for Valentines Day we were going to go on a mini vacation that weekend. On the way that morning, he realized he forgot to get me something. So we stopped at Walgreens and he made me wait in the car while he bought me a stuffed bear. That night I showed him the heart patterned matching undies I was wearing. I had bought them specifically for that weekend trip as a cute surprise. He got pissy because “that doesn’t count as a gift for me”. 🙄 I thorough…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 02:19 PM
244

I have one male friend. We met at work and got to know each other because, well, we work together. He’s HV through and through. Talked about his wife like she hung the moon and stars. Raised 5 daughters and was very respectful of women. We would go get drinks as a group with coworkers. After a few outings he asked me if I’d like to get drinks with him and his wife because he thought we’d have a lot in common. And I love them both. They’re the HV goals couple in my life. My husband and I spent a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 01:40 PM
63

Yes there’s a difference. I read the post thinking “that’s actually pretty accurate. I know exactly what it feels like to talk out a miscommunication and no one get hurt feelings.” But then again, I’m married to an excellent communicator. That shit does not apply to some dude you’ve been dating for three months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:28 AM
38

Haha this made me laugh. I had a friend who loved his music. I could never enjoy it because he’s such a sleaze ball.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 03:16 PM
8

100%. The only ones ever getting truly unconditional love from me are myself and my pets. Everyone else is subject to many conditions: care, respect, integrity, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 05:03 PM
171

I saw that post lol. Who agrees to go run errands with some dude they barely know? That’s so fucking weird. I’d laugh in someone’s face if they asked me that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 05:00 PM
17

Good for you! It’s hard, but living with being a placeholder would have been harder. A man who really loves you will put no doubts in your mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 02:05 PM
35

Yeah like, congratulations? You can perform one adult task, good for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 02:02 PM
24

You’re not even wrong sadly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 07:54 PM
32

She was also a competent ruler. While Henry was in France swinging his dick around, Catherine fought off a rebellion on the Scottish border without him and won. Also, they had a “unusually good” marriage until she could no longer bare children. It was only when he realized that she would never give him a son, through no fault of her own, that he turned on her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 05:30 PM
74

Omg don’t even get me started on Mary! Aside from her unjustly tarnished reputation, let’s not forget the absolute cruelty she faced at Henry’s hands. He disowned her, dismissed her from court, separated her from her beloved mother, and didn’t even let her attend her funeral when she died. Then to add insult to injury, when Elizabeth was born, Mary essentially became one of her servants. And while all of this was going on, she remained unmarried. Once the most desirable women in all of England, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 04:32 PM
3

I forgot to mention, credit to u/slayeroftruth for inspiration!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 01:13 PM
12

I also love Tudor history and I can’t believe how dirty Anne was done by The Other Boleyn Girl. It portrays her as the bitchy, scheming seductress we know she wasn’t. There’s even heavy implications that she was actually incestuous with her brother in the book. Appalling. I love Phillipa Gregory as an author, but it’s hard to read without rolling my eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 12:17 PM
20

Yes a better tactic than “being assertive” is not sleeping with men who don’t care about your pleasure. I expect to get off every time we have sex. If I even have to ask we’re not sexually compatible. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 05:39 PM
339

Relentless pursuit. I used to like the idea of a man so enthralled with a woman that he just keeps trying harder and harder to get her attention. Now, I see that for what it is: harassment. If I reject your advances, leave me the fuck alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 08:13 PM
85

Yes! It just hits you different when you know they love and adore you. No doubt, no questioning, no mixed signals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 06:31 PM
8

Even if there is a plan, why not let her in on it? That way she can dress appropriately. I once had a guy try to take me out on a “surprise” date to go canoeing. Thank god those plans fell through. He knew I loved to canoe, I go multiple times every summer. But I would have been pissed to end up on a boat in a skirt, a nice blouse, and without any of my essentials.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 05:54 PM
16

Same girl. It makes me cringe looking back at how I did the same. My first long term boyfriend was in high school and we texted so much my grades dropped. 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 05:46 PM
89

Men who can’t cook strike me as immature. Or men who are super picky and have the pallet of a child. Huge turn off. Cooking is a life skill. You don’t have be Gordon Ramsey but you should be able to put something edible on a plate that isn’t chicken tenders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 05:41 PM
122

You just reminded me of the famous mayo incident lol. So this same ex hated condiments besides ranch. As in, he would refuse to wash a dish if I left a smear of ketchup on it. 🙄 At my parents once, my mom had made a macaroni salad that was ranch flavored. It was chock full of mayo. I encouraged him to try it, which he did and loved it. When mom told him there was mayo in it he was upset. Said I had “deceived” him and gave me the silent treatment the whole ride home. I wasn’t sorry and my mom tho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 05:32 PM
203

My ex and I both liked to cook. Except only one of us was any good at it. I used to dread him cooking us dinner because 9 times out of 10 it was barely edible. He liked to try the most difficult and impressive dishes possible and rarely succeeded. So one night he tells me that he learned what carbonara was and wanted to make it. It’s not that difficult of a dish but it does require technique because it involves egg yolks on heat. I suggested we watch a YouTube video on it. He smugly replied “bab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 05:00 PM
159

She says that she looks back on her wedding day and wonders if everyone thought she was a fool making a big mistake. Sounds like projection to me. She talks about him with so much love it’s like she’s trying to talk herself into it. It’s okay to admit that you’re no longer attracted to someone that’s aging before your eyes while you’re still young and pretty. Lord knows men have no reservations about it when the roles are reversed. The sunk cost fallacy is doing her no favors. Here’s hoping she …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 07:25 PM
14

Seriously I feel for her buy what is with these women with no backbone. Maybe the first time this happens you grin and bare it, and express your issue with it later that night. But repeated instances of something like this? No fucking ma’am. Go on strike. Refuse to be a doormat. Embarrass him in front of his friends. He only continues to do it because she continues to allow it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 02:01 PM
119

Just as bad are the ones who don’t care about your hobbies and interests whatsoever. Because it’s not sustainable. Over the course of a relationship you will find that you have less and less in common and grow apart- because they don’t give a shit about things that are important to you. When my husband and I started dating, I mentioned my favorite band to him once. I have an album logo of theirs tattooed on my arm. He listened to every album by them on his own time. That’s how a man who’s really…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 04:57 PM
44

Agreed. Block, delete, ignore. The best response here is no response. Let him embarrass himself. And when you gray rock the acquaintances, don’t be nasty or insulting towards him. That just looks bad on you. Act as if he doesn’t exist to you, and you’d like to keep it that way. Best of luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 01:14 PM
13

Oh absolutely. I’ve had this done to me and it’s infuriating. It took me over a year and several tries to leave my LVX. Because every time he would cry and beg me to stay. When I finally dumped him, he told me that he had known for a while we weren’t compatible and we would never get married. So he wasted a year of my life to keep me around essentially at my own expense because he was afraid to be alone. Fucking loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 12:50 PM
53

laughs in 9.5 shoe size So what if my feet are big? My mom wears size 10. Makes me feel close to my beloved mama ❤️ 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 12:02 PM
28

They do know. That’s why if you feel the need to communicate about how they hurt you, you’re already losing. A HVM will realize immediately that he’s made a mistake, apologize, and correct the behavior going forward because they care what you think of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 02:17 PM
195

You can’t disregard one or the other. Yes it’s true actions speak louder than words most of the time. But what that really means is- Is he true to his word? Do his actions match his statements? Like in this instance, he did initially say he wasn’t looking for anything serious. Then proceeded to act differently than that. He lied with his actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 01:17 PM
150

Hey, at least that sometimes works. Communication with someone who ultimately doesn’t care does nothing. I’ve had long conversations about issues with an ex. He would apologize, say that he completely understands and would change xyz. Then when the issue came up again he would go back on his word as if we never talked about it. Repeatedly. Even the ones who communicate back with you are often just saying whatever they think will shut you up in the moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 01:59 PM
135

I know the feeling, sort of. I slowly realized over the years that my ex best friend was a total pickme. When we met, she came off as an assertive, ambitious, no nonsense kind of person. I admired her. Then I learned that she had been with her bf since she was 13, off and on again. We were 20 when we met. Then I saw for myself that he treated her like shit. And she wouldn’t leave him. We had plans to move in together when she decided to call it quits, and then she texted me less that a month fro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 10:10 PM
124

That is the grossest form of gaslighting. A friend of mine left her ex after a decade together because he wouldn’t propose. Then he says “that ring was coming, I was just about to pick one out.” It’s ALWAYS bullshit. If they had any intention of doing these things they’d just do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 04:47 PM
307

Seriously. If you feel the need to be passive aggressive or manipulative it’s already over. A good relationship is built on mutual respect and teamwork. It should be y’all vs the problem, not you vs him. Who can be happy with that kind of animosity in what should be their most solid relationship!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 02:16 PM
237

I think it must be codependency. The only women I know who act like this are the ones who are never single, never spent time alone learning to love themselves and their peace. They settle hard for the best LVM they can find and think that’s as good as it gets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 02:11 PM
957

I remember this woman’s post. Sad. Even more so that she feels like she’s won after playing mind games and stooping to his level. This is not where it’s at. Would it not just be easier to be single? Is he really worth all the hassle? A real partner in life will make your days LESS stressful, not more. Someone who actually loves you will want to take some of the weight off your shoulders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 01:07 PM
28

Exactly. I’m not wholly against gaming. My husband and I game together but like as a side hobby. Never would a PS4 come before bills or $400 be spent at all without agreement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 06:08 PM
132

That’s honestly the worst part. Like, okay maybe I get taking the cash (if you’re a scumbag anyway) but at least return the rest of it! I remember years ago my bag got stolen at work. No cash, no cards, just my license and key ring. And it ruined my entire week! It takes time and money to replace all that shit. I can’t imagine doing that to someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 03:12 PM
112

That was my thought as well. This is the same ex that wanted to split bills 50/50 while making more money than me. So while I was budgeting to buy groceries he was making frivolous purchases on games and stupid shit. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 02:50 PM
726

It really happened for me with my ex when I realized what a shit person he was. I came home from work one day and he had a brand new PS4. We didn’t have the money for that, so I asked how he got it. He worked at a gas station. While he was on break, he found a wallet in the parking lot with $400 in it. A little while later, while he’s working the register, a frazzled guy came in and asked if anyone had found his wallet. While he had it in his back pocket, my ex lied to this dudes face and said n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:21 PM
16

Haha yes that’s exactly how I felt. I’ve been growing it out for almost a decade at this point. There’s just something about unveiling your inner Rapunzel after having it up all day that makes you feel so pretty and feminine!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 10:43 PM
41

Exactly. My ex said that to me when I dumped him, after a year of communicating exactly why I was unhappy and exactly what I wanted from him. “I don’t want to lose you” - Then why have you made zero effort to keep me?? 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 05:02 PM
1481

Yes!! I have a great story for this. I love all things horror and Halloween so for our third or fourth date, my now husband took us to a haunted house. The first half was great. But at one point, a guy just came at us with a table saw, and in my panic I dropped down to the floor. Now, I have really long hair, like down to my butt. And it got fucking sucked into the fan blade of the table saw!! The workers pulled us into a back room to get my hair out. They dude was being super rough and pulling …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 11:18 AM
5

This is so relatable. When I met my best friend I was a bit enamored with her. She was beautiful, intelligent, ambitious and seemed so mature. And we had so much in common back then. Over the years I broke up with my ex, got a handle on my drinking, and got a good job where I met my now husband. She left her ex for a LV loser a decade older than her, picked up a weed addiction, and quit her job with no plan only to move back in with her parents. I watched her make her life indefinitely more comp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 06:32 PM
17

Yes! It’s the effort that counts. I’ve never wanted a wedding and my fiancé knows that. We’re getting married at the courthouse and even that has been taken care of. He called to find out what we need paperwork wise, invited family to be our witnesses and planned the day out. All I have to do is show up. A man who really wants to marry you will make it happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 12:04 PM
33

My mother had me at 35. I was a surprise baby, they had my two older brothers and didn’t plan to have any more children. My brothers were involved in sports and all kinds of things growing up but my parents just didn’t have the time or energy for me. Which worked out, because I’m super introverted and wanted to stay home anyway lol. But that aside, there is one upside to having kids later: maturity. Obviously this depends on the parents but growing up I could just tell that mine were more wise, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 11:56 AM
335

I’m so glad someone brought up Gilmore Girls! Totally agree with Jess being the worst. Remember when Dean and Rory broke up because she couldn’t stop lusting after Jess, who won her affection by taunting and insulting her? So much ew. I didn’t realize when I was younger what a good role model Emily was. Better than both other women in the family. “This is not a drive through! She’s not fried chicken!” Love it 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 12:29 AM
39

I know how you feel. I recently ghosted my closest friend of the last five years. She was always a little flaky but after two months of canceling every plan last minute I just had enough. Then I got engaged and she offered to plan and pay for my bachelorette party. And then bailed on that. I never talked to her after that conversation. The best thing to do is let them go. If they cared about the friendship they’d make some effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 03:20 PM
5

My ex by far! I was the forever girlfriend for almost 6 years. I know, I know, never again. During most of that time we worked opposite shifts, me in the morning and him in the afternoon. The last year we were together was the worst, I told him how unhappy and lonely I was and I asked if he would switch to morning shift so we could spend more time together. He had been working at this place for years and should’ve had no problem switching. He told me he would try but no guarantee. He also refuse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 11:22 AM
20

Not exactly one moment, but my entire last relationship. I spent almost six years as the forever girlfriend to a weed and porn addicted, overweight gamer because he kept moving the marriage goalpost. Ironically getting married would’ve been my biggest regret had it ever happened. Thank my lucky stars I saw the light 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 01:17 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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