BuiltForTruth Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
33	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice		BuiltForTruth	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 02:27 PM
13	What benefits do you value most in a long term monogamous relationship / marriage?	Discussion	BuiltForTruth	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/01/24 02:57 AM
4	Ladies - Did you feel more dependent on your man when you fell in love with him?	Question For Women	BuiltForTruth	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/03/24 11:34 PM
2	The fundamental difference between “red pill” and “blue pill” is how rigidly “roles” are defined in a romantic relationship	CMV	BuiltForTruth	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/23 05:35 PM
2	Question for women who don’t see sex as an essential part of your relationship	Question For Women	BuiltForTruth	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/01/24 09:51 PM
2	The Three Categories of Relationships	Discussion	BuiltForTruth	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/11/22 07:39 PM
1	CMV: N-count is to women as height is to men		BuiltForTruth	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/10/22 01:26 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
-1	Ladies - Did you feel more dependent on your man when you fell in love with him? Gotcha, do you think it’s a bad sign if a relationship never has this honeymoon phase?	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/03/24 11:51 PM
-1	Ladies - Did you feel more dependent on your man when you fell in love with him? Sorry added an example in the OP. But maybe a better way of saying is always wanting to be around him even if you’re traditionally someone who’s more on the independent side and wants their space. Could also look like letting all your walls down	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/03/24 11:47 PM
–	Question for women who don’t see sex as an essential part of your relationship But libidos change over time. I don’t think it’s sufficient to decide before marrying someone: “this is my libido and this is your libido and they match”. Because things change over time. Attitudes towards sex change over time. I think the real question is: do you want to make sex a priority or not throughout the lifetime of your relationship? That means if problems come up that lower your desire will you make it a priority to figure out the root cause and fix it. If you cannot or are not willin…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/01/24 04:55 PM
–	Question for women who don’t see sex as an essential part of your relationship How can it be seen as not essential but at the same time be so important that it forms the foundation of how you structure your relationships (monogamous vs polygamous)?	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/01/24 04:53 PM
0	Question for women who don’t see sex as an essential part of your relationship And I’m wondering why is it important for you to restrict a man from having sex when you don’t care for it anymore? If it is so unimportant to you that you can be perfectly fine for the rest of your life sexless, why does it matter that your partner have non commital sex outside of you?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/01/24 11:00 PM
0	Question for women who don’t see sex as an essential part of your relationship So you’re saying even though you don’t prioritize sex, it’s okay to restrict your partner from prioritizing sex?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/01/24 10:59 PM
2	Question for women who don’t see sex as an essential part of your relationship I fully agree that sex is a barometer of a relationship. But my question was for people who don’t care for sex all that much. Also as a side note I believe that you’re not in the mood for sex because your relationship is shit, it should be your priority to fix your relationship.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/01/24 10:57 PM
1	Question for women who don’t see sex as an essential part of your relationship So for you as long as sex has happened once it’s enough? Do I have that right? Also I made a disclaimer that this should not include cases where there are obvious reasons to abstain (chronic illness for example). Because I agree that sometimes there are reasons to abstain from sex (like postpartum as another example). And I agree that normal reasons to abstain from sex should not be the death of a relationship. What I framed in OP was a situation in which there is no obvious reason to abstain. Y…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/01/24 10:55 PM
0	Question for women who don’t see sex as an essential part of your relationship I added a disclaimer regarding reasons to abstain (hormonal issues, chronic illness). It goes without stating that postpartum is another time to abstain. Couples should expect that you can abstain as much as a year after giving birth. So I’m definitely not saying you should always have sex that’s ridiculous. What I’m saying is that if there is no obvious reason to abstain from sex and sex is not that important to you, are you ok with your partner having non committed sex outside of you?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/01/24 10:52 PM
3	Question for women who don’t see sex as an essential part of your relationship Thanks! That makes sense.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/01/24 10:50 PM
9	Question for women who don’t see sex as an essential part of your relationship Hmm not sure I follow	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/01/24 10:20 PM
0	Question for women who don’t see sex as an essential part of your relationship I see, so since sexual exclusivity is important to you, is consistent sex with (the right) partner a priority to you?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/01/24 10:20 PM
0	Question for women who don’t see sex as an essential part of your relationship Are you someone who is naturally not that interested in sex or are you? If you are not very interested in sex why does it matter to you if your partner has non committal sex outside of you?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/01/24 10:08 PM
1	How are men supposed to deal with being the hornier sex? You channel it into productive energy. But even before that you see this as a conquest. Men love to conquer, but the most important thing to conquer is yourself. Lean into that natural instinct to conquer and be the master of yourself. As men we love to say we have mastery over our emotions, but how about our horniness? I’m not speaking from a place of no experience here. I abstain from all sexual activity even though I have a beautiful fiancée who I’ve been with for a few years now. Reason is, …	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/23 02:08 PM
1	CMV you don't need to be a whore to be good at sex Yup exactly, same here brother. Also people need to remember that for women the most important aspect to “good sex” is enthusiasm. That’s the most important part. Who do you think is going to be more enthusiastic about sex: a virgin woman who’s never had sex before but has a healthy mindset towards it or a women who’s had a bunch of sex and is looking to settle down?	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/10/23 05:37 PM
-1	CMV you don't need to be a whore to be good at sex Disagree. You can love sex and also believe in chastity. Example: my SO. Never had sex before me and has the healthiest view on sex that I’ve ever experienced. Just kissing her is better than any other girl I’ve kissed and I’ve kissed hundreds of women before her. The variable here is that her virginity/chastity is rooted in religious reasons. And the right religion will not shame sexuality, but recommend that it be done in the proper context (complete commitment / marriage)	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/10/23 05:33 PM
1	I don’t understand the notion about men waiting until their thirties to be successful financially as well as at their “peak” and then date women in their upper teens or early twenties who are in their “peak” It’s rooted in what people value. Some men do not value a life partner—they value a sexual and romantic partner. While a life partner includes the sexual and romantic elements of a relationship, the latter does not include the former. When the main things you are looking for in a relationship is sex/romance/kids then yes you will see men who look for much younger.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/08/23 10:05 PM
1	Is Sex really that important? Platonic physical intimacy - long hugs, friendly touching Intellectual intimacy - reading a book together, working on a project together, creating art together Emotional intimacy - healthy vulnerability, opening up about yourself Spiritual intimacy - Praying together	/r/ExRedPill	05/08/23 11:14 PM
5	Is Sex really that important? Exactly! That’s the point. People don’t realize that certain needs (such as intimacy) that sex meets can be met in other ways. When people don’t realize that they tend to glorify sex	/r/ExRedPill	05/08/23 12:13 AM
4	Is Sex really that important? Re: sexual physical intimacy - Maybe a more clear word is non-platonic physical intimacy. For example the difference between kissing your mother on the cheek and making out with your SO. Re: your other point. Because people desire sex for many reasons, one of those reasons being intimacy/closeness. The point is that we can glorify sex because it meets a need (intimacy) that we can fill in other ways. The main unique “need” that sex fills is the ability to procreate with another human being.	/r/ExRedPill	04/08/23 10:48 PM
7	Is Sex really that important? Intimacy is closeness. But there are several different types of closeness where some are not appropriate given the relationship. To name a few: intellectual, physical (non sexual), physical (sexual), emotional, spiritual. In monogamous relationships sexual physical intimacy is reserved for your partner and certain aspects of emotional intimacy as well. But ultimately intimacy is about being close to someone. A big part of the glorification of sex is that people want to feel close to others and s…	/r/ExRedPill	04/08/23 10:36 PM
8	Is Sex really that important? Amazing comment. Only learned this truth after years of self reflection and therapy. Sex is important but it shouldn’t be conflated with all other intimacy and it’s important as men that we enjoy all forms of intimacy, not just sex.	/r/ExRedPill	04/08/23 03:24 PM
1	Being bisexual and embracing redpill is very difficult once you experience what women do Nah I think she’s right on the money here. Which is why I do think the “penetrator” needs to be the pursuer in any dating dynamic. It is more intimate for the person getting penetrated. And furthermore this person is typically a woman who also has the burden of pregnancy. The “game” is working exactly as expected. Women should be choosy and they should make sure the man who’s pursuing them makes them feel safe before having sex.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/08/23 03:23 PM
2	if withholding sex is not a good way to secure commitment, then what is? Yeah exactly, I think a lot of men love this. Maybe if the average man was objectified as much as the average woman we wouldn’t want it as much, but because it happens less for us we really desire it	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/23 12:36 AM
4	if withholding sex is not a good way to secure commitment, then what is? I think so, you’re saying that the hot boring guy is not occupying much space in your head? He’s just the guy that’s fun to have sex with? Yeah I definitely think it’s possible to detach from the physical in that way and I also agree women are much less prone to be aggressive sexually. But I also think that adds to why men value it. It’s a validation thing	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/23 12:26 AM
12	if withholding sex is not a good way to secure commitment, then what is? Depends on what you value. A lot of men (especially younger men) value being sexualized over being committed to. What you see as “shallow” is what a lot of men value more. Not saying it’s wrong or right just describing what’s valued. If you understand that you can see why some men might be offended if you gave it up quicker for some other guy. It implies that other guy was more sexually attractive even if the current guy is more life-compatible with you	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/23 12:17 AM
3	if withholding sex is not a good way to secure commitment, then what is? Yup this is the truth and have seen a lot in my own life and the life of friends	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/08/23 12:13 AM
2	Single PPD men and women often have very inflated standards as to what an “average” partner looks like I found exactly this type of woman so it’s not impossible. Definitely hard though but you have to look in the right social contexts.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/07/23 03:37 PM
1	Discussion : Let’s have some positivity :-) How many times have you shown your woman emotions and been vulnerable and it’s made her more attracted to you? Yup, about two years ago I opened up to my gf about my struggles and how I’m in therapy. She cried and told me how much she fell for me in that moment for having the courage to be completely open with her. She said it was on that day she knew for certain that I would be her husband. We are three years strong now and I plan to propose soon. She is still very much in love with me and very much sexually attracted to me. Men—do not settle for emotionally immature women who don’t actually love you.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/07/23 02:57 PM
2	Men shouldn't show their emotions to women Exactly. You want to find a partner who is emotionally mature and one who is looking for a relationship founded in love, not lust.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/23 08:22 PM
0	Men shouldn't show their emotions to women She’s not wrong actually. Please read my comment above. Source: real life experience	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/23 08:21 PM
2	Men shouldn't show their emotions to women Just want to +1 what you’re saying here. She’s 100% correct. All men reading this: trust me, I know what you’re going through. I also was once convinced that you can never show emotions to a woman. I once dated a very broken and emotionally wounded woman who cheated on me after I opened up to her. I swore I would never be vulnerable again. Then I got with my current girlfriend (soon to be wife). The first time I truly opened up to her (took over a year), she cried and journaled later that evenin…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/23 08:19 PM
1	The fundamental difference between “red pill” and “blue pill” is how rigidly “roles” are defined in a romantic relationship Interesting so it sounds like you believe in very loose romantic roles it sounds like? The only thing you feel you have a role for is to physically protect your partner. And I would say most people would say the woman has a role in giving birth to children (assuming the couple wants children). Yeah ultimately I think most debates in this forum come from this fundamental spectrum: how rigid/loose are romantic roles?	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/23 08:07 PM
1	The fundamental difference between “red pill” and “blue pill” is how rigidly “roles” are defined in a romantic relationship First yeah, I agree re: blue pill hence why I put the name in quotes and why I added a disclaimer to my post saying that “blue pill” is not a good name. It is purely used to more easily refer to the side that critiques/argues against the red pill. Second, I’m not really even getting to “agree to disagree” state I’m more so framing the crux of the two sides of the argument with my ultimate motivation being to help refine what people are truly debating on this sub. For example, the n count debate …	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/23 08:03 PM
2	What is the reality of the sex life of the average woman? Yup learned this through life experience. Had an ex who was similar to this and I completely took her for granted because “red pill”. Lost her that way even though she was a loyal and good woman. Got a second chance and am currently dating a beautiful, loyal woman who genuinely sees me as a 10/10 (even though I’m not remotely close to that). She believes in love so much that I’m the only man she has ever even kissed. When I love on her, that makes her even more committed and loyal. The biggest p…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/23 10:49 AM
1	How do you justify asking for a woman with a low body count, if yours is high? The answer is very simple: the rationale is that men and women have different preferences. For example, height. The crux of this debate is whether or not you think promiscuity is a sexually dimorphic trait. If you don’t, you’ll see this as hypocritical and if you do, you won’t see this as hypocritical. It’s really that simple. We would be better served debating whether or not promiscuity is sexually dimorphic rather than asking the question of whether it’s hypocritical for one gender to desire a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/07/23 03:15 PM
1	ICK Discussion Thread Chipped nail polish. Absolute turn off. Can take a woman from an 8 to a 3 for me	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/23 02:55 AM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice I'm trying to make you question your faulty and extremely hypocritical thinking process. If you wanted an echo chamber, go elsewhere because I'm not interested in coddling you. So you're trying to be helpful? Are you aware that it's possible to be helpful without attacking? That it's possible to have healthy dialogue without it resorting to echo chamber? Or do you only work in extremes? It's pretty obvious in THIS context that you think your girlfriend is going to cheat on you. I disagree and at…	/r/ExRedPill	26/11/22 05:17 AM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Don't you think she will resent you for being promiscuous? You got to enjoy your youth and she didn't. She doesn't. I've asked. But how is this relevant? Even if she was resentful, she's free to feel that way. She's a human being. Yet you accuse her of being disloyal for merely having male friends, "flirting", not fucking immediately and not "obsessing" over you. Do you want a mindless sex slave or do you want a partner? I want a partner. What EXACTLY do you mean by "playful touching"? The fact …	/r/ExRedPill	26/11/22 05:13 AM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice I'm responding to Corn over DM since she has responded in so many places and it would be ineffective to respond in so many places. Second, let's take a step back here. Is your intention to be helpful or to attack? Third, not trusting someone doesn't mean they will cheat on you. I might not trust a guy friend but that doesn't mean they will "cheat" on me. Trusting someone in the context of a romantic relationship does not always refer to cheating. It could refer to a lot of things. At the core of…	/r/ExRedPill	26/11/22 03:45 AM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Where have I accused her of cheating? And why haven't you responded to the rest of my reply to you?	/r/ExRedPill	26/11/22 03:27 AM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Why are you doing this? What's your intention with this comment and all your other comments? Are you seeking to vent or contribute to discussion? I hope everything is okay in your life right now, and I'm sorry if it's not.	/r/ExRedPill	26/11/22 01:25 AM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice I’m pretty sure no one forced you to digest that information Of course not. I’m also willing to bet no one mentored you on the advice either Someone did actually. Someone I trust a lot. A family member. They are still very much in this mindset and do not know I'm actively deprogramming. so quit looking to blame random information on the internet that YOU decided to listen to and take accountability Not blaming, but accurately acknowledging the source from which this part of my mindset came from.…	/r/ExRedPill	26/11/22 01:23 AM
2	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice If your religion is like most religions, from that perspective keeping herself from engaging in sex means she respects both of your beliefs. It would be a red flag to say you believe in abstinence and then just do a 180 while still claiming to hold to that faith. Totally and I'm aware it's a contradiction on my part. It's because the faith part is still becoming ingrained for me. I'm in the process of rejecting one ideology (red pill) and embracing a new one (my faith). My old self seeks secur…	/r/ExRedPill	26/11/22 12:50 AM
2	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Thank you so much.	/r/ExRedPill	26/11/22 12:36 AM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Do YOU have female friends? Because she has male friends. At the beginning of the relationship I distanced myself from all my female friends. I talk about this more in other comments. Do YOU flirt with other women? Absolutely not. We actually had a conversation about this and my girlfriend could not pinpoint a time where she perceived me flirting. Instead she's perceived women flirting with me but never me with them. If she had had sex before, you would probably be calling her a wh0re and a s!…	/r/ExRedPill	26/11/22 12:34 AM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice I hope everything is okay with you. You seem very upset. I'm sorry if this post is triggering. If you would like to have a full conversation please feel free to DM me.	/r/ExRedPill	26/11/22 12:28 AM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Do you have female friends? Are you willing to cut off all contact with your female friends if your girlfriend told you to? Are you planning to cheat on your girlfriend with your female friends? What's with the double standard? She could just as easily accuse you of cheating. Is she meeting her guy friends in public places (coffee shops etc.) or hanging out at their place alone? When I got into the relationship I distanced myself from my female friends. When I saw that she did not do the same, a…	/r/ExRedPill	26/11/22 12:28 AM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Because sex is about unity with your spouse and procreation. If someone is not open to both 1) growing closer to their partner and 2) children with that partner then its advised not to have sex. Most mainstream (non religious) views on sex (not including FWB) are that as long as #1 is true you should have sex and not be concerned you’re getting used. In my religion you should only do it if #1 and #2 are true which only makes sense in the context of a committed relationship until “death do us par…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 10:48 PM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Why did you make another account?	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 10:37 PM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice She can.	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 10:37 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice It's complicated. I spent my entire adult life putting myself over any sort of faith or God. I'm now currently trying to put my faith first, then my sexual urges after while simultaneously trying to let go of my old ideology (red pill). And that's hard. I want to wait until marriage insofar as I want to put my faith first. I don't want to wait until marriage insofar as I want the security that comes with having sex with the woman I love and the validation knowing she truly wants it too.	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 09:43 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice I'm sorry, I hope everything is okay in your life right now. It seems you are overly upset in your comments on this thread. Sorry if anything in this post has triggered you. It looks like your account was created today. If you're seeking to increase your comment karma, you're more than welcome to do it here, but I would appreciate a kinder and more empathetic tone. At the end of the day, I'm doing my best: going to therapy, seeking advice from friends and spiritual mentors, and seeking community…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 09:00 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice This should be your main takeaway from TRP. Bear in mind though that it's these kernels of truth that muddy the waters and make it harder to separate fact from fiction. That's part of what makes it so hard to ditch the cult mindset. It causes you to feel confused and makes it harder to reality test. Agreed. Basically they are trying to instill or amplify jealousy and insecurity. This thinking is not only logically flawed (all/nothing thinking), but also dangerous. Acting on it could result in ab…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 08:49 PM
4	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice That’s a bit harsh. I’m talking with people here, working with my therapist, talking to a spiritual counselor, and seeking advice from friends all to be the best I can be for her. I obviously wish I didn’t have jealousy but I’m doing my best.	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 08:21 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Why do you think so?	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 07:36 PM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice I think if you have plans to marry then she will eventually validate #2 so worrying about that seems pointless. Agreed though I guess the hard part is waiting and knowing even "when" that will happen. Agree with everything else you said. Thank you for your input and advice.	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 07:36 PM
2	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice This is beautifully said. Thank you.	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 07:34 PM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Bottom of the OP explains why.	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 07:33 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice All fair points and thanks for the tough honesty. Actually helps quite a bit there. I think where I'll still have trouble is not seeing women as platonic friends (which especially recently I've gained a lot of platonic girl friends which has been super helpful in the redpill deprogramming) but struggling with trusting them romantically. In other words, trusting women platonically is something that I've worked through a lot and even comments like this are helpful. Trusting them romantically (due …	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 07:30 PM
2	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice she comes home to you This may be part of the problem. She doesn't come home to me. We don't even sleep in the same bed anymore. In the first half of the relationship when we did sleep in the same bed, I remember it being so much easier for me to be cool about the opposite sex friends because I had this exact same rationale in my head. I would think "she's hanging out with her guy friend but at the end of the day she's cuddling with me / doing this sexual thing with me / etc.". It was only after…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 07:21 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice This is good point and a fair criticism of one aspect of red pill views.	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 07:18 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Well because I have other options but I've committed to her. Furthermore, I was willing to wait for sex before marriage with her even before I converted to my current religion. All that says I really want to be with her and specifically her. If what I wanted was (just) family and marriage then 1) there are plenty of other girls (not to toot my own horn) who I could have been with 2) before her I explicitly had a period where I didn't even want to be married 3) as a man I'm told by plenty of peop…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 07:17 PM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice What kind of need, exactly? Wanting a family and marriage is not a need, it's a want. Besides, if she wanted it with someone else, she'd be off doing that already and not with you. She chose you, bro. You need to figure out how to trust her on that and not let your insecurities hold you back. Fair point. This is my mini rant about redpill today: if people are such slaves to some sort of biological instinct, then we can't hold them responsible for their actions. I refuse to believe that, becaus…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 07:14 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Thanks for the input. I've never heard laughing a lot is a sign of flirtation. I think I've heard someone laughing at your "dumb jokes" can be taken as interest but not flirtation. Flirtation is defined as "behavior that demonstrates a playful sexual attraction." I can see laughing being taken as interest but not flirtation. Laughter is more passive while flirtation is typically seen as active. For example, playfully touching someone is typically seen as flirtation (by most people I've talked to…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 07:09 PM
1	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice I think that's very wise, and if you can apply this mindset to your girlfriend then I think she might explain the same thing to you, that you just explained me. Thanks, point taken. If there is a clear sense between you of what is fair and what isn't, and you feel she keeps doing things that she knows are unfair, then you should bring it up.It is a hard thing to bring up, and like the rest, it is best to start the conversation in a way that won't get the other person too defensive. If you can …	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 07:04 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice I'm sorry but I'm not assuming, I'm observing. Generally speaking, I always recommend not using words we don't understand. I apply this to myself too, it's not unkind, it's a very good way to make sure we don't confuse ourselves unnecessarily. I mess up some letters because I'm not a native english speaker, but that doesn't really change anything. Thanks for explaining and no worries. I didn't mean to come off as unkind either. Thanks again for this conversation. let's say your girlfriend gets…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 06:04 PM
3	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice I really appreciate this comment. Men do it for women all the time. Ever play nice with an in-law or an annoying friend? There’s no harm in bending the knee out of respect. But it should be mutual. You’ll concede for her, and she should for you. If either of you stubbornly refuses to acknowledge or respect the other, then that’s a flag. This is a very fair and wise take. Thank you. But if you won her over with your personality, your charm and character — then you’ll be loyal to you. If she f…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 05:56 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Thanks for the comment. I actually wouldn't value her less if I had sex with her. This is not something I ever believed from Red Pill. What I believed from Red pill is the following: 1) a woman who sees sex as incredibly important important is a loyal woman and 2) a woman who has sex with me truly loves me. Her having sex with me wouldn't invalidate #1 because at the end of the day she only had sex with me (+ we waited a long time and she's waited her entire adult life). However it would validat…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 05:52 PM
15	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Agreed. And that's a good way of summing it up, I'm trying to fully embrace my new ideology (my religion) while trying to give up my old one (red pill) and it's taxing. But this is a succinct way of putting it and I'm going to communicate it as so to my therapist. Thank you.	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 05:44 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice In my experience as a not-so-good-looking girl, men tend to not want to speak to you unless they find you attractive. It's a very strange and perplexing thing for women because we don't choose friendships with men based on attraction at all. I think a lot of the paranoia around this comes from men projecting their behaviours onto women and assuming that women do the same. Many women have male friends they aren't remotely attracted to even if to you the men are 'objectively' attractive. I don't t…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 05:43 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice - Not checking up as often - Forgetting about me once getting into serious relationship	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 05:08 PM
5	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Good point and advice taken.	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 04:55 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice You’re right and I agree regarding trusting / not trusting someone. As for your second paragraph there’s a lot I resonate with. In fact part of my healing from red pill has been making a lot of friends who are women in the last year. The initial motivation wasn’t great—I knew I couldn’t stop my girlfriend from having guy friends and at the end of the day I didn’t want to build resentment towards something she had but I didn’t. So since then I’ve rekindled and made and several healthy platonic fr…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 04:54 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Thanks for the first three suggestions. I agree that researching different psychology can help me unlearn certain things. I’m also already in therapy but thanks for the suggestion Also would appreciate a kinder tone. I wrote this in haste so I think it’s unfair to assume that I “don’t know how to use certain words” especially as you write “misogyny” as “misoginy”. Regarding opposite sex friends you really think there is 0 risk in having opposite sex friends while in a committed relationship? Im …	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 04:20 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Fair point. Counter argument: what if walking away is worse than staying not because she chooses me but needs something that requires me? For example, we’re both getting older and value having a family, getting married etc. How do I know with certainty she’s not just choosing me because she wants to get married and have a family? Of course that’s part of the reason but I wouldn’t that to be the first reason. Does that make sense? Great question. She does but I also know these guys are not her ty…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 04:07 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice I guess that’s what im asking the community. The Red pill would probably co-sign a few signs to “trust” a woman (even though they would simultaneously say never trust a woman). Those signs would include: Being with a woman who’s only had sex with you Being with a woman who has no other guy friends besides you Im seeking to understand actually healthy signs for knowing you can trust a romantic partner. I do trust men. Because I have several close guy friends who I owe my life to and have never be…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 04:02 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice I talk to them. Or I see the outcome of the relationship (they broke up). I knew of almost ten couples that broke up during Covid. I was close with at least one person in each of those couples. The vast majority broke off because they had been unhappy for ages and Covid just exasperated that. You really only know if a relationship is happy by talking to them. It requires talking to each person in the relationship and knowing truly if they are both happy I have not determined any true full proof …	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 03:55 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Thanks for the comment. First, I am seeing a therapist. This has been part of my healing journey but thanks either way for suggesting that. I like your second paragraph quite a bit. I guess my only concern there is the idea that we as humans can be “perfect.” I’m not saying you’re saying that, but it sounds close to it. For example, my girlfriend and I don’t sleep in the same bed. It’s not because we don’t trust each other and our moral/religious foundation, it’s because we know putting ourselve…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 03:53 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice First, thanks for responding. I truly appreciate. Second, as we continue conversation I just ask for empathy and kindness especially as we both ask each other questions. A few things: I’ve never understood the “choosing” idea. Maybe it’s because of the red pill teachings, maybe not. Either way, let’s take my girlfriend. Quite a few of those guy friends she has, she has liked. They just didn’t like her back or she never found out if they liked her or they never acted on their attraction. How is t…	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 03:43 PM
–	Red pill teachings have made it impossible for me to trust my girlfriend. Seeking advice Great question. Definitely not. But then the question is who is a good role model that’s in a happy and healthy monogamous relationship? I know plenty of people in monogamous relationships (IRL), but they’re not happy. Do you know any online?	/r/ExRedPill	25/11/22 03:36 PM
1	The Three Categories of Relationships Agreed hence this part of the OP: Someone speaking from a one-to-many lens likely recognizes that the person who is "one" brings much more SMV/RMV to the relationship One-to-many only works if there is a massive disparity in SMV/RMV hence not someone "worth dating" and definitely not a "teammate for life". But this goes more into my personal opinion as to why polygyny/polyandry/polyamory are all inferior to monogamy.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/11/22 08:04 PM
3	CMV: N-count is to women as height is to men If you take two identical women who have the exact same looks, personality, social skills etc but their only difference is that one is a virgin and one has slept with 10 men I guarantee you most men would choose the virgin. At least this is what I have experienced talking to many men about it (who by the way, are attractive, financially successful men with good social skills). If it truly wasn’t a preference then there would be no difference between the two women here	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/10/22 04:25 PM
1	CMV: N-count is to women as height is to men I totally see where you’re coming from. But take it like this: You’re a 21M who recently discovered red/blue/purple pill and self development online. You see that tall stature is an attractive trait to many women. There’s nothing you can do as a 21M to increase your height. Similarly, you’re 21F who recently discovered all of the above. You see that low n count is an attractive trait to many men. There’s nothing you can do to lower your n count. That’s what makes it immutable at that point. For …	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/10/22 04:22 PM
1	CMV: N-count is to women as height is to men I hear this argument a lot and with all due respect I think it’s a poor one. I don’t think body count (either for men or for women) is an indicator for good sex in the bedroom. Good sex usually follows from a strong healthy relationship that already has great chemistry (romantically and platonically) outside of the bedroom that then translates into the bedroom. Furthermore two people that truly care and love each other will put in the work to learn each other’s kinks, bodies etc to continue maki…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/10/22 04:14 PM
1	CMV: N-count is to women as height is to men Upvote for the quality response and links to studies. I’m mostly surprised about your findings for height. N-count I recognize is dependent on the people you are around. Will look more into the height studies you linked.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/10/22 04:09 PM
1	CMV: N-count is to women as height is to men I notice a slight difference in your phrasing: “about height” vs “about their woman’s count”. I agree with both statement as the latter statement means someone wouldn’t be fussing about the count of someone they are with. However men definitely do obsess about count before getting into a relationship which is analogous to women and height. This is my experience and obviously other peoples experiences will differ. But I’ve spoken with very attractive men who’ve stated pretty bluntly that they pre…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/10/22 02:28 AM
1	CMV: N-count is to women as height is to men Done thanks!	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/10/22 02:18 AM
6	CMV: N-count is to women as height is to men Know plenty of people IRL who prefer lower n count partners. Regardless of whether they’re religious or not. Typically it’s the men though that have the preference. Women I’ve talked to are more so neutral on it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/10/22 02:17 AM