| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 51 | Boundaries vs Higher Standards Post-Divorce | Dating After Divorce | Business_Guava3329 | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/25 05:39 PM |
| 21 | Really tired of the single-dad-bashing | Dating After Divorce | Business_Guava3329 | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/25 06:05 PM |
| 15 | Post-Divorce Reconciliation/Situationships | Dealing with the Ex / STBX | Business_Guava3329 | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 12:15 AM |
| 6 | "Reparations" vs Abuse Cycles | mental health | Business_Guava3329 | /r/MensRights | 11/08/25 08:02 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Is feminist gaslighting on the subject of misandry counterproductive?To the question posed at the end: Yes, it's already backfiring. The women who actually like and want dick are complaining about not getting any, and never seeing men out at what used to be common dating venues/events. Or, when they see men at bars, won't even make eye contact, or if they do make eye contact, never approach anymore, or outright ignore the women. Not to mention the lack of democratic voters, and Disney whining about losing massive profits. What's hilarious about this is, even the … | /r/MensRights | 02/09/25 05:26 PM |
| 2 | The gynocentric right wing.Basically, all the same manipulative things most women have historically done for survival: Lying about other men to make them compete against each other for her Lying about a man's treatment of her in general Historically lying about Black people and other racial targets to deflect blame onto Entitlement to men's wallets Using religion to claim "purity" Claiming to like men's interests just to marry one, then divorce and take his money/possessions The only difference with left-wing women is the… | /r/MensRights | 26/08/25 05:12 PM |
| 1 | There's no such thing as "male privilege" only "rich privilege"Yup, accurate - I got divorced in the most pro-choice state in the country, California. Female privilege here is REAL and thriving. It's practically turning into a matriarchy under everyone's noses. | /r/MensRights | 26/08/25 04:56 PM |
| 1 | There's no such thing as "male privilege" only "rich privilege"You forgot to mention our physical strength... and ability to remain quiet for long periods. | /r/MensRights | 26/08/25 04:54 PM |
| 13 | The gynocentric right wing.This is why I despise all modern politics. The misconception is that right-wing women somehow "like men", but it's all the same manipulative shit in a different way. The left just takes more hands-off approach to exploiting men and giving them regular hate in passing. The right gives shark smiles, chews us up, and spits us out... but I guess we at least get to touch some bewb or get a little 'nani in the process. In the end, left vs right is an illusion for us men. Just remember who has the most… | /r/MensRights | 25/08/25 07:02 PM |
| 2 | "Reparations" vs Abuse CyclesExactly. I'm a decent human without asking for a reward; just be a decent human back without shoving me into an enemy box. How hard is that? | /r/MensRights | 16/08/25 12:04 AM |
| 3 | Ex's new boyfriend is starting to spend time with my 6yo.You have a parental right to assert your preferences for who is around your child, even when they're not with you. Personally, unless I met the woman while my child was with me, or they know my child through school/mutual friends, I wouldn't even introduce a new partner to my child until a year after dating. I feel you on not caring about the new guy, but it's reckless to introduce so soon after barely dating that long. Your ex doesn't know if it'll work out. Then that's one more person who give… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/08/25 06:16 PM |
| 1 | Is it ok to Hate Women?Depends on how you act on that hate. We all experience hate at some point, but it's supposed to be fleeting. We're supposed to move on. Sure, lingering feelings like mistrust and general apprehension after "burning your hand on the stove" are normal. I'd say, so long as it doesn't result in harming women out of hate, just feel what you feel to process everything in your own way. For your own sake, seek peace. Seek fulfillment in activities outside of women. Walk away from social media for a whil… | /r/MensRights | 12/08/25 06:12 PM |
| 5 | "Women do not orchestrate widespread, gender-targeted violence against men with the backing of political, religious or legal systems Nor do we find matriarchal governments or hegemonic female led institutions systematically depriving men of fundamental rights and liberties."This reminds me a lot of the public education system as a metaphor for how it really works. Women: Men run everything! Also women: Make up the majority of teachers who directly influence our children (where they've been psychologically disenfranchising males since at least the 1970s). They are also saturating almost every other field of work now, and make up more than half of college students/graduates, while men fall further behind. Conclusion: They use logical fallacies to distract us with the… | /r/MensRights | 12/08/25 04:18 PM |
| 3 | Provoke, gaslight and then when he gets angry - 'You are being aggressive/toxic/rude' - this mental warfare needs to stopMy ex wife did this all the time. That's why she's my ex. Sadly stuck in a CA college town, so I'm surrounded by many more like her. FML... | /r/MensRights | 12/08/25 04:22 AM |
| 2 | Got action my first night aloneAppreciate that, brother. I mean, consent is consent and you both sounded up front about it. Yeah, I still turn on the charm with my interactions. Like you, I back off when I can tell I've hit some kind of barrier... just gets really annoying when, on subsequent encounters, they suddenly act all "super offended shaking poodle on-guard" when I'm still doing nothing wrong (and keeping even more distance than before). | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/25 08:16 PM |
| 6 | Honest is it your fault?Physically with another woman? No. Porn as compensation for the multiple times she cheated with another man? Yes. Who gets blamed/treated worse and called a sexist misogynist pig? Me. Does she ever admit to her wrongs/hold herself accountable? Never. I'd rather have the peace following my divorce than deal with this shit anymore. I'm all for equality/egalitarianism, but I don't believe in "paying reparations" for the sins of my forefathers or other men when I've suffered enough from an abusive m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/08/25 04:08 PM |
| 5 | Got action my first night aloneSuccess stories like these help. I'm going on 3 months in a college town in California as a 41-y.o. single father. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/08/25 03:37 PM |
| 2 | Why must men always change?I'm not sure who down-voted you, as your reply was surprisingly positive/reasonable, which I appreciate. So, I up-voted to cancel the negative. Please keep that in mind as a metaphor for all that follows. I don't like echo chambers, and I don't hate women, just distrust based on several experiences (abusive mother, teachers, exes). I'm all for equality and capable of being respectful to mixed company, but distrust the toxic side of western feminist programming which systematically has undermined… | /r/MensRights | 07/08/25 09:25 PM |
| 3 | Why must men always change?First off: *though, *Islam, *Judaism, *normal Second: I'm a successfully employed Civil Engineer for going on 15 years, thank you very much. Mighty arrogant of you to generalize and assume anyone who has a reason to avoid women have to fit into your grammatically-challenged echo chamber black and white enemy box as someone "jobless". Finally, your comment assumes I mean this should apply to everyone. I don't. Just personal preference, which has been easy enough to accomplish. I'm merely showing … | /r/MensRights | 04/08/25 12:09 AM |
| 2 | Separated > reconnected > separatedThanks, brother. Well, so long as you're not the salt or the worm either, you're doing okay ;-) | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/25 03:19 AM |
| 8 | Separated > reconnected > separatedYup, just adds to the overall trauma. I only went back several times because it meant more time with our kid. That, and to collaborate on moving out from under her mom's thumb (and her neighborhood Boomer spy network) to somewhere 3 hours away. I don't regret doing it for more time with my kid and escaping her family, but it took its toll. When she "ended things again" for the umpteenth time 2 months ago, I took it as a blessing. However, I really hate that empty feeling. That feeling programmed… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/25 01:22 AM |
| 10 | Why must men always change?Yup. Don't tell them that, though - they'll just write it off as another "hate group" /eyeroll. | /r/MensRights | 29/07/25 01:04 AM |
| 18 | Why must men always change?YES! I feel this shit so strongly here in California in particular. I fucking hate it here and wish I could move. I curse my ex every day since she convinced me to move here 10+ years ago because it's her home state. Then, she turned total femi-fascist on me and put me through the ringer legally. It's only because of my own hard work, determination, and resourcefulness I navigated it all myself, won back custody, and support myself and little one independently. The more independent I became, the… | /r/MensRights | 29/07/25 01:04 AM |
| 4 | Why must men always change?I feel you, brother. I'm in that weird in-between after 4 years of being divorced, in the absolute WORST state to be a divorced dad in (California). I have good days and bad. Lots of "attention" in the way of smiles, eyes lighting up, clearly seeming interested... but the moment I even make the slightest of innocuous moves to reciprocate interest, they're suddenly all weird, "offended", "scared", generally passive-aggressive, etc. I swear, it's all those echo chambers you're talking about. And y… | /r/MensRights | 29/07/25 12:58 AM |
| 1 | What the worst states for men in the US? Is Minnesota on the list? I definitely see a lot of discrimination towards guys in this stateI know this is 2 years old, but still valid. Everything you shared has been my experience here, too. Nowhere else in the U.S., even 10 years ago when I first got dragged here by my ex, had I experienced women who literally gave me death glares for just existing. Everywhere else in the U.S., women found me charming, attractive, polite, honest, respectful, funny, etc. Not California. All I get here, from both men and women, is either their self-absorbed anti-social bubble, their pious self-righteo… | /r/MensRights | 28/07/25 11:47 PM |
| 6 | Keep yourself #1All solid advice, sir. I'm quickly putting this into practice after learning the hard way. After 4 years since my divorce, couldn't believe how much I'd allowed her to program me. I'll never be the moth again - always the flame. I will also add, to my fellow men in blue states, don't fall for the rhetoric (especially the misandry). It's blown out of proportion. Regardless of how you lean, women are still women, and most of them still like a man who is assertive and takes care of himself. DO NOT … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/25 11:13 PM |
| 7 | The “first time” after divorceI feel you on this worry too. Especially since I had been struggling during post-divorce reconciliation attempts. Much as I really want to feel that connection again (and not just 60% failed attempts at "massage parlors"), I feel so much anxiety about how challenging it might be with someone new. Haven't been with anyone new yet, but exercising more regularly and knowing I get at least smiles and positive glances from attractive ladies helps. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/07/25 05:41 PM |
| 3 | Dads In Black; a call to actionThank you SO much for this! California is the absolute WORST state to get divorced in, let alone live in if you don't make at least $150k/yr. All my ex had to do was say she "felt uncomfortable" with me having any custody, and POOF, gone. Had to pay $600/mo and $50/hr for 4 hours per week just to see my child with supervised visitation. Finally paid everything off, jumped through all the legal hoops, closed the child support case, and have 50/50 again, but it was totally fucking unnecessary. Not… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/25 05:38 PM |
| 2 | Would anyone be interested in a series of post from a guy on the other side?This is a fantastic idea, brother! After all, it's the reason I participate in this sub so often. I'm on the other side as well. Maybe not 100%, but getting there. Feels good to finally be in the "empowerment" phase after overcoming most of it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/25 05:29 PM |
| -2 | Be careful of religion poachingSadly, yes, when anyone is in a vulnerable position, all the wolves come out for a wounded deer. It's the cycle of capitalism and ideology. Always looking for a new contributor. They make you feel so special until you've become integrated/regular customer, then it's onto the next target. No, not all of them, but some, yes indeed. Might as well be a new wife, just less personal. So, I totally agree with you, brother. For all the other gents here going through the same thing, just focus on what yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/25 05:11 PM |
| 23 | What are some life hack style advise for men who have just been divorced?Also agree with those suggesting: 1. Find yourself 2. Find hobbies/creative outlets 3. Pursue life goals (job, education, etc.) 4. Get in better physical shape 5. Be there for your kid(s) 6. Take time to heal 7. Cook/eat healthier 8. Avoid addiction 9. Stop caring about approval 10. Just do what makes you happy | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/25 07:16 AM |
| 2 | I'm out and about, expanding my sphere of influence, and the ladies I've been meeting... tattoos everywhere, filler, botox, injections, face lifts, augmentations, overweight, etc. What's happened to America? Where can you meet unmodified ladies these days?Certainly, brother. TBH, I'm not originally from California, but I've lived here for the last 10+ years. I have the whole U.S. to compare to, as I've lived all over it. While the personalities outside of CA certainly get better, it's still kinda slim pickin's with quality ladies. Still lots of lard and ink and single moms with baby daddy and general daddy issues. I miss Colorado so much (not from there, but I was happiest there before my ex dragged me here to her native CA). The ladies there wer… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/25 09:17 PM |
| 2 | This sub saved me....Really appreciate the positive reply, brother. Indeed, it's just a matter of baby steps and catching the right waves at the right time. I'm in the same spot - not really wanting anything serious unless the chemistry is right, and even then, no way in hell am I signing any legally-binding documents together. It would just be nice to feel that spark again... the hopeless romantic deep within the icy spiked barriers of my heart would love to live again instead of just survive. Though I've done a lo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/25 09:03 PM |
| 2 | This sub saved me....I really appreciate this. I'm struggling a lot between my trust issues with women and never wanting to be involved again (as well as the tail-end of my performance worries from my ex - I even tried a "massage parlor" but struggled; but that's a cold transaction, not a genuine connection). Part of me does get my hopes up when I sense some mutual attraction in the rare times I go out, but due to all the modern "ick complaints" about women who will claim harassment and call the cops if you show the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/25 05:12 PM |
| 9 | Divorce generate $50 billion annually in the U.S. it's a business fuck you kidsTruth. I've experienced this first-hand in the worst state for divorce for a man - California. All the woman has to do is say she "feels uncomfortable" without evidence, and you're screwed. I also worked in an office of 100+ attorneys - so I know exactly what kind of spineless over-glorified librarians they are. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/25 04:53 PM |
| 3 | I'm out and about, expanding my sphere of influence, and the ladies I've been meeting... tattoos everywhere, filler, botox, injections, face lifts, augmentations, overweight, etc. What's happened to America? Where can you meet unmodified ladies these days?I'm in NorCal and it isn't much better here. Sure, they can't afford Botox or other expensive cosmetic surgery, but I agree on the tattoos and lard everywhere. Yet these "ladies" expect basically a man like you (but would probably still turn their nose up if they knew you had kids). While California probably has the worst quality women, this is a global issue. The only exceptions might be some of the ladies from Mexico or South America (thin, feminine, more traditional/better values, healthy, us… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/25 04:28 PM |
| 1 | Summer is the loneliest time?I feel you on this, except for me, it's year-round. My ex makes $30k/yr more than me, and her whole gigantic family is here. I can support myself and my little one with some treats here and there (new clothes, new toys, brunch, movies), but I always feel out-done because of the support network she claims is "oh-so bad". I can't really go outside my current city due to gas prices and potential auto repairs I really can't afford right now. I'm grateful to make the most I can with what I have, but … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/25 03:26 PM |
| 5 | EX WIVES NOW BFFsFirst and foremost - She's Californian. 'Nuff said (I know from experience with my recent ex). I've dated all over the U.S., and they're a "special" kind of spiteful. Second and just as important - If possible, leave social media, or at least block them. Reduce all contact to only what's necessary for kid-centric logistics. Gray-wall ALL other contact with both. Once a woman feels "scorned", she'll never let it go. What can you do? Rise above. You can't control what they do/say, but you can lead… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/25 05:06 PM |
| 1 | Closed the front door for the last timeI feel you on this, brother. The hardest part, after closing that door, is detoxing from the gaslighting. We don't realize just how deep we let them dig their claws into us until it ends. They strip you bare for all to see and judge through her eyes, a person you never were. I've always had a habit of attracting the very controlling/domineering types. The more autonomy you gain, the more friends outside her influence, the more independent you are from her, the deeper she digs for the worst insul… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/25 02:16 AM |
| 1 | Do they ever stop?I feel you, brother. I had custody completely taken away, and without any evidence. All she had to do was say she "felt threatened" or "uncomfortable", and they took her side. I'm in California, btw - the worst state for a man to get divorced in. I had to jump through a ton of loopholes, pay about the same in support (I could only afford $300 per month, though, since I was paying $400 on top of that for supervised visits at a 3rd party facility for a year). As for the other $300? Went into an ar… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/25 04:18 AM |
| 19 | When the “wife goggles” are taken offThis is especially true about Californian women. Even more emphasis/value placed on looks over substance. My ex still tries to lure me back with pick-me outfits. Like, lady, I know what's underneath all that. I'd rather stick my dick in Cthulu. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/25 01:51 AM |
| 1 | How do you get your confidence back?I've been there, brother (including the dip in performance due to anxiety/depression/lack of quality sleep). Recommend distance from her, making new memories, developing yourself (eating healthier, exercise), time with friends, time with new hobbies to give you a sense of accomplishment, and not checking up on what she's doing/comparing yourself. Leave social media for a while. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/25 12:25 AM |
| 1 | Once married, never again.Basically, all the benefits without the label or even saying "I love you". A mostly physical relationship, but with the mother of my child. The primary reason was more time with my child, so long as she and I were getting along... but something always came up and she'd start the drama cycle all over again. Claim the "benefits" relationship is over and we won't be spending every Saturday together or visiting each other's place every other night, only to come crawling back days, weeks, or once a m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/25 12:15 AM |
| 4 | Father's Day giftNah, not overreacting... you just haven't gotten numb to it yet. Though I've only celebrated Father's Day for the 5th year in a row, it's quickly going the same way as my birthday. Either the ex treated me to a meal out and found some way to ruin it, or didn't acknowledge it. She expected everything to go flawlessly for her special days, but mine were always expendable. Now that our situationship ended for good for the umpteenth time, I've been pretty clear about not wanting any gifts going forw… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/25 12:06 AM |
| 1 | STBXW wants me to put her firstI feel you, brother. I might just be an observer to the art of your situation, but I highly recommend a step back. We'll always love what we created, and even if we make peace with our creations winding up in another's hands, it takes part of you with it. Like a disconnected limb you can still feel from time to time. However, the more you let go, the better it'll be than trying to force getting it back. People don't often realize what they lost until it's gone. They can try to replace it, but an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 06:52 PM |
| 1 | Being ‘the calm one’ didn’t stop them from rewriting the story…Exactly, and appreciate your empathy man. You got this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 06:15 PM |
| 6 | STBXW wants me to put her first"I'll mention that she has become a feminist in the past few years, hates all men..." Sounds much like my ex; she misses all the perks, but wants none of the responsibility. Dunno about your ex, but mine even claims she's "practically a lesbian now", even though she's never been intimate with a woman (but obsessively listens to Chapel Roan and other anti-male b****-pop music). This is pretty common for modern ladies (especially here in California). Even if not for your personal issues together, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 03:56 PM |
| 2 | Post-Divorce Reconciliation/SituationshipsThat's actually very reassuring to hear! I really enjoy time with my child, I show up (earlier than most parents), and it feels empowering when it's just us going out to brunch. I'm liking the sense of freedom so far. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 06:10 PM |
| 1 | Post-Divorce Reconciliation/SituationshipsIt's certainly more colorful, but the toned down version reminds me of the older lady receptionist at the Amsterdam hotel in EuroTrip during the end credits talking about if there's a fire, you and any items you have put in your anus will be incinerated XD | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 05:22 PM |
| 2 | Post-Divorce Reconciliation/SituationshipsI love this, and this shall be my mantra any time she inevitably comes crawling back. Probably tell her something to the effect of "My Hershey Highway is a one way street!". Thank you! | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 05:14 PM |
| 1 | Post-Divorce Reconciliation/SituationshipsThat's real. Kudos to you for remarrying (let alone happily). If I ever get to that point, I'll probably have the same nightmares. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 05:13 PM |
| 1 | Post-Divorce Reconciliation/SituationshipsFair enough! It was a struggle for me in the final years together. Currently feeling very burned in general and a total lack of trust in women. Still find them attractive and all, but it's like burning your hand on the stove. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 05:11 PM |
| 1 | Post-Divorce Reconciliation/SituationshipsYes. Basically, a relationship, but no real label, and not even saying "I love you". | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 05:09 PM |
| 2 | Once married, never again.There really is nothing quite like that feeling of being betrayed by the person who knows your every weakness and changes from love of your life to total abusive monster. In some ways, even 4 years later, still recovering from the damage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/25 11:40 PM |
| 2 | Once married, never again.I concur - CA is the absolute worst state to be married/divorced in. Period. Just don't do it. Not even if you're rich and have a prenup power-up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/25 11:38 PM |
| 4 | Once married, never again.I feel you. I should have listened to that voice, too, but dismissed it as "oh you just think she's too good for you". No, your gut knows. Now, 3 years after the divorce of a 7-year marriage and overall 13 years together, and finally ending the foolish post-divorce reconciliation "situationship" for the sake of the child's life stability, I'm just glad it's over. All that matters now are my child, my self-improvement goals, and my hobbies. Not only will I never legally remarry, but I'll never co… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/25 11:32 PM |
| 2 | California, need something to force the processYou have my utmost sympathy getting divorced in this horrible state. The lawyers are the absolute worst. Don't ever let them try to drag it out. Stick to the deal, close as quickly as possible. I worked with an office of 100 attorneys (healthcare), and they truly are scum. They might know a thousand ways to screw someone legally, but can't tie their fucking shoes without admin support. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/25 11:28 PM |
| 11 | Being ‘the calm one’ didn’t stop them from rewriting the story…I also learned the hard way: "Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn" - They were way ahead of their time. This is why I'm never legally marrying again, co-owning property, or even co-habitating. Thankfully, remaining calm and being on-time are strengths of mine. Like you, it didn't matter during the divorce. All it took was her word, and poof, all custody is gone. I fought like hell to get it back, jumped through all the hoops. Can't believe I went back for seconds, actually believing that if w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/25 11:19 PM |
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