~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 9 | Parental Alienation | Busy-Recording-1911 | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/21 04:47 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 29 | Should I move out or cohabitate?My now ex tried that garbage with me. I stopped sleeping in the couch and began sleeping in my bed. She didn’t like that. She slept on the couch for a little while then eventually moved out. It’s your home to and she’s the one with a problem. Let it be her problem. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/11/22 12:29 AM |
| 1 | Introducing kids to new partnerWait 6 to 12 months. Don’t concern yourself with your exes feelings or even how to notify her. How she feels isn’t your concern nor should it be. Pick a fun place to do an activity with the kids and just have fun. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/22 07:00 PM |
| 5 | calculating spousal supportThat’s ridiculous. What happens if you lose your job? For real. What does your debt situation look like? Perhaps negotiating a different debt structure. I’m so glad I divorced in texas. She only gets half my military pension and the only way she’d even get spousal support would be if she made less than the average local wage. Put it infront of a judge. Your lawyer should be able to tell you if you might get a better deal. I hope there’s an end date on that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/22 03:20 AM |
| 6 | Losing one of my children to the dark side.Patience. I divorced last year. My ex wife, during the divorce and post divorce, told my kids everything that was going on with our divorce. She had them convinced I should be handing over my entire paycheck and live in a box. I was demonized, made out to be the bad guy, everything. During the divorce one of my kids was telling me that I should sell my motorcycle so mom could have more money! My oldest has finally reached out to me. My two younger ones haven’t come around. It’s going to take a l… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/22 05:22 AM |
| 5 | …ReconciliationHere’s the thing. She checked out long ago. Learn and grow. One day you’re going to find a woman that you’ll rearrange the world for. That’s the woman for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/06/22 02:40 AM |
| 8 | access to children during public eventsShow up to the games and do you. Maybe ask the coach if you can assist him. I’ve been divorced/separated for a couple of years. I typically go nowhere that my ex wife is at. I can’t stand her and really don’t want her anywhere around me. Perhaps a compromise is to reach out and let her know that you can take him to games. In a perfect world, you both could just show up and be there for the kids. It’s a nice attitude to “put the kids first”. There are times that our own personal peace and sanity … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/22 06:16 PM |
| 2 | Things women do/say during divorce.Kept demanding more $$ out of me. Long story short; when I couldn’t and refused to pay all the “extra” expenses she deemed as extra; she brainwashed the kids. Result; kids haven’t spoken to me in a year. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/22 02:56 AM |
| 2 | Moving into my first apartment. Looking for some advice.50/50 and you have to pay child support? Good grief. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/22 05:48 PM |
| 5 | Will one Attorney Represent Both of Us, Amicably-wise?I don’t believe 1 attorney can safeguard both of your interests. To my understanding they represent one party. You two are two parties on opposite sides of the divorce. Your best bet is to draft something in writing that you both can agree on. Child custody, support, assets and debt. You can go down to the courthouse and file on your own. My gf is divorced and she did that. They didn’t hire an attorney. Her and her ex did their own. I would recommend that if she gets an attorney then do yourself… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/22 05:09 PM |
| 4 | Interested in women. But what’s a turn off/red flag for you?Mid 40s here and divorced. I’ve dated women since my divorce. I’ve been with the same woman for a year. My biggest turn off is when a woman blames 100% of past relationship failures on her significant other. In very rare instances would I say it’s 100% the other person’s fault. This was something that impressed me about my gf. When we spoke about our previous marriages she readily admitted her faults in the marriage. She spoke about his but made sure she took accountability for hers. Even more i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/22 12:19 AM |
| 3 | Valentine’s day!I had lunch with my gf. We got each other a few things. First time I was into V day. Never cared for V day when I was married and resented the expectations around the entire day. Goes to show that when we have the right woman in our lives that we enjoy doing these things. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/22 07:02 PM |
| 1 | Whose paying the most alimony in this sub ! Let’s start naming figures boysYou’re correct. I’m at 2300/mo for CS. I’m retired military so she gets 1/2 my pension. It’s community property (think along the terms of a 401k. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/22 11:44 PM |
| 2 | Whose paying the most alimony in this sub ! Let’s start naming figures boysIm not paying SS. She has a job that is above the average wage for the part of Texas we live it. Also keep in mind, you’ll be paying the health insurance for the kids. Any uncovered costs Health Care costs should be split in half. I am retired military, so she does get 1/2 of my military pension. Whatever you do; don’t let her dictate that you’ll pay any extra curricular activities, camps, etc. or even covering 1/2 with out your agreement. I know a few ppl who get screwed on that. Their exes pic… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/22 11:42 PM |
| 2 | Whose paying the most alimony in this sub ! Let’s start naming figures boysI just finished my divorce in Tx. 2 kids and my CS is $2,300/mo. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/22 11:08 PM |
| 14 | Advice for trying to make things work with the ex? Its been 4 years. We have 2 kids.Stop! She’s your ex for a reason. She’s already manipulating the kids. Sounds toxic. If you’re lonely then start dating OTHER women that you have common interests with. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/01/22 06:57 PM |
| 1 | Did you want the house?What’s in your budget? When it came to our home; my ex and I could’ve bought each other out from the house. It would essentially require one of us to refinance the home. Value of the home minus the amount owed divided by two. In other words. If you want to keep the house you’ll likely have to refinance (it has to get out of her name). If your home is worth $250k and you owe $200k you’ll need to pay her $25k. My ex and I sold our home when getting a divorce and split the proceeds. So it’s really … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/22 02:12 PM |
| 2 | Is it really over or could we get back togetherWork on yourself. Get some help. Don’t beg, don’t plead. All you can do is be a good man. Be confident, realize your self worth and love yourself. The woman you knew as your wife is no longer there. I’m sorry to break that to you. There are a lot of help courses out there. My experience, I’m divorced. During separation I worked on myself. Started dating. Had fun. Learned to love myself again, became a new man again. Did me, got my life together. I found a wonderful woman. Her and I have so much … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/11/21 05:29 AM |
| 1 | Better in the end?Been dating a wonderful woman for seven months. We really hit it off. Have so much in common. Our values align so much more than my ex. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/11/21 12:27 AM |
| 0 | How did you recover financiallyWell. You left that part out! Ummmm. Contribute more to your 401k. Save more money. Comes down to priorities. Play the lottery once a week!? Lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/21 09:37 PM |
| 1 | How did you recover financiallyYou mean bk on your credit report? Yes. If you can qualify for chapter 7, that’s the way I’d go with it. I would stay away from chapter 13 all together. I used to dread bk all together. Then I realized that was my pride speaking. Companies and wealthy individuals have no issues doing that at all. I want my fresh start. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/21 07:23 PM |
| 4 | How did you recover financiallyI’m nearing the end of my divorce in a similar situation. Consult a bankruptcy attorney. Perhaps a few of them. You may screw your credit for a little while but it’s better than drowning in debt. Another consideration, if you can, perhaps try to consolidate your debt with a loan. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/21 05:55 PM |
| 2 | Can’t pull the trigger on filing for divorceDivorce now. Also, find out which state will be more favorable for you. Right now you’re not working, from what I’ve read it doesn’t seem like you have much in assets. So basically, you’ll be splitting not much of anything. You without work and her without work seems like you’ll be on a level playing field. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/21 06:48 PM |
| 1 | Do i still need to help pay mortgage even though my name is not on the deed?If you’re name isn’t on any of the mortgage paperwork, then it’s not your debt to service. However, if your divorce decree states that you help then follow the order. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/10/21 11:51 PM |
| 2 | NJ- What expenses you can ask from spouse - pendante lite ?Yes. I think you’re correct | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/21 05:21 PM |
| 2 | NJ- What expenses you can ask from spouse - pendante lite ?Until they are 18. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/21 04:49 PM |
| 2 | NJ- What expenses you can ask from spouse - pendante lite ?Not sure about NJ, but I know here in Texas I've seen a tendency for 50/50 on custody and no child support at all with young children. My personal situation is different. My kids are in their teens and they have already expressed they want to primarily stay with mom. I absolutely understand and respect that. I was in the service for 20+ years and gone for much of their lives. Unless you have a reason that you shouldn't get a 50/50 agreement; I would push that issue and maybe even zero CS. Howeve… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/21 02:33 PM |
| 1 | Unhappy birthday supriseI hope you find peace and happiness. Going through a divorce too. Something that has helped me. -be happy with myself -recognize I’m human and so is everyone else. -regain my identity, self confidence, self worth and self esteem overall -do things that make me happy -learn to be my own best friend | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/21 01:40 PM |
| 1 | Just had the separation & divorce conversation. Feeling sad, empty and alone.My marriage wasn’t all bad. It took us both to get to a certain point in our marriage. I’m just as much to blame for the demise of the marriage as she is. I think we just got to a point where we could no longer accept each other. We both goth to a point where “being right” was more important than the other person and we just became incapable of seeing from other other person’s point of view. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/21 12:43 PM |
| 3 | Just had the separation & divorce conversation. Feeling sad, empty and alone.I think you’re correct sir. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/21 10:04 PM |
| 2 | Just had the separation & divorce conversation. Feeling sad, empty and alone.I eventually became bitter toward my STBTXW. My kids, as they got older, knew there was something wrong with me. I would avoid interaction with her as much as possible. Now my kids are older and honestly, I’ve been viewed as a bad guy in the marriage. Mine are teens. I was great with the kids but bitter with her. Doesn’t matter how good I was with my kids. Not sure how old your kids are but if you’ve been dealing with this for awhile, you may end up bitter and resentful. You’ll be the bad guy fr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/21 09:28 PM |
| 6 | Just had the separation & divorce conversation. Feeling sad, empty and alone.If you’re unhappy and you’ve tried your best to make it work and be happy then you did the right things. I can tell you from ending my marriage, after 24 years, I was unhappy for nearly half of it. My kids saw me unhappy, bitter and resentful with my ex. It haunts me to this day. The most important part is your kids. They need to see you happy. They need their dad. You’re human. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/21 07:23 PM |
| 2 | I Don't really know what i should doI will say this. Live by your values. Be happy with who you are. We are all human. It’s okay. I’m divorcing my STBX over a similar issue. No boundaries between her and a former male coworker. I was not okay with their late night and early morning texts and calls. Non stop and everyday. I maintained boundaries with my female coworkers and female friends. PerIod. Do what’s right for you. Don’t base your happiness on someone else’s approval or acceptance. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/21 04:00 PM |
| 4 | Should I feel GuiltyGoing through one myself. I’m giving her a vet fair deal. She essentially able to be 90% debt free after using her 1/2 the proceeds from the sale of the home. She’s trying to stick me with more debt and feels I should just pay. I’m comparison I’m already taking on nearly 70% of the debt as it is. We have transitioned from us having an agreement and simply finishing it up and putting it in writing to spending more on attorneys and getting ready for court. After speaking to my attorney, he said I’… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/21 02:20 PM |
| 2 | Coping without knowing the full truth, needing some help badly.Let it go. You can not nor could not control her actions. You can only control your actions. You can either live in the past or present and look to the future. I'll tell you my personal experience: -Was married for 24 years, wife split too. I snooped and checked the text logs from our cell account. I couldn't read what was sent but could see the numbers and times texts were sent. She was texting her male boss at 10pm - 4am every night. They were on the phone with each other at midnight. Where di… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/21 01:05 PM |
| 2 | Settlement MeetingGreat link. Thank you! | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/09/21 05:18 PM |
| 1 | Liquidation of assets to prevent ex fromFirst off, you never stated that. Second, your post is about hiding assets, not giving her anything, calling “child support” theft of income. I’ve been where you are. You’re upset, you’re on a rant and giving information from only your view (which is normal). Calm down. Go through your expenses and see where you can cut costs. Take your emotion out of this and treat it like a simple business negotiation at this point. Trying to hide your assets will only put you in a bad light. Focus on the posi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/09/21 02:33 PM |
| 0 | Liquidation of assets to prevent ex fromNot sure what state you’re in. Put your kids first! What’s going on with your ex, is only temporary! I would also point out that Child Support, is not “stealing your money/income”. If she has primary custody then that is what she’s entitled too. If you don’t like it then advocate for 50/50, otherwise stop crying about it! I’m going through a divorce myself. My ex has primary custody; I pay child support. I’m happy that my kids like in a safe place, go to a good school and have food every day! St… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/09/21 02:05 PM |
| 1 | My ex spouse works for NYC and will no longer have a job because she will not get vaccinated. Will Child Support be adjusted If ex spouse loses job? Any issues that might affect me or my custody agreement? We both live in NY. Thank you.Soooo. If she gets a raise, then do you pay less? | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/21 11:08 PM |
| 3 | Parental AlienationWow. Really? How so? Honestly, she’s been pretty grounded throughout this. Aside from listening, she doesn’t offer much advice and when I’m a bit off the wall she brings me back to reality. For example, I was upset when I was ordered to pay half my retirement check already. She stopped me and said that that’s what the law is. My ex did her time with me in the service and deserved that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/21 10:47 PM |
| 0 | Parental AlienationI’m a bit lost with the predators and advice. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/21 10:10 PM |
| -1 | Parental AlienationHuh? New family? | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/21 09:55 PM |
| 2 | Parental AlienationI’ve gotten a bit beaten up over that. Really I’ve received all sort of advice about dating and when to date. It’s really all over the place. As far as the kids are concerned, they didn’t even know for awhile. Their mom has been on dates since being separated. Their mom found out I had a gf and asked me about it. The whole thing is crazy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/21 08:46 PM |
| 2 | My ex spouse works for NYC and will no longer have a job because she will not get vaccinated. Will Child Support be adjusted If ex spouse loses job? Any issues that might affect me or my custody agreement? We both live in NY. Thank you.Wow. That’s insane! She loses her job and you may have to pay more! | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/21 08:43 PM |
| 2 | My ex spouse works for NYC and will no longer have a job because she will not get vaccinated. Will Child Support be adjusted If ex spouse loses job? Any issues that might affect me or my custody agreement? We both live in NY. Thank you.That’s crazy to think your CS (amount you pay) hinders on her job! I’m in Texas. What I pay is based off of what I make. That’s it. Doesn’t matter what she makes. If I made minimum wage then she’d get CS based off of my minimum wage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/21 08:03 PM |
| 1 | Parental AlienationOdd thing about Texas. I read the initial order. It specifically states “no romantic partners” present after 10pm when the kids are there. I also believe my gf is offset by my STBX’s affair. I’m not worried about bank accounts, etc being subpoenaed. I’m really looking for alternatives to regain contact with my kids, outside of email (which is my only way to communicate with them not). Looking for dads that went through this and came out good. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/21 07:28 PM |
| 3 | Parental AlienationIt’s a good post. Every situation is different. From my perspective this relationship has some pluses. Keep in mind I didn’t even start dating until after she rolled out. Even then it was something casual. I just happened to meet a woman mid 40s (same as me) that I connected with. She’s been through a divorce, so I’ve had a shoulder to lean on with my divorce She has kids. She’s privy to what’s been going on with mine. She agrees the kids are being manipulated against me. We literally get every … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/21 07:23 PM |
| 3 | Parental AlienationI have only been married once. LOL. As far as on my own, I was actually planning on leaving my soon to be ex when the kids were 18. For the last few years I would barely even sleep in the same bed as her and would normally avoid most contact with her; as it would simply end in a fight. My life has been miserable for a while. A few months after we separated I began dating. Just casually. Nothing serious. I dated about a dozen different women over that time frame. I met one that I really connected… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/21 06:39 PM |
| 3 | Parental AlienationThank you for the tip about the MSA. I will definitely leverage that to get the kids numbers. Ironically, she's been going out dating too. She attempts to tell me about it and I have told her that it's simply none of her business. She has asked about my girlfriend, I have kept any answers vague at best and have let her know that it's none of her business. -Ironically, my girlfriend is younger than my soon to be ex. She has a higher level of education, earns more than my ex, and is wealthier than… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/21 06:35 PM |
| 3 | Parental AlienationIt's military insurance. She will remain covered while she is "legally" my dependent. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/21 06:10 PM |
| 3 | Snooping on ex, resisting the urge?Honestly, let it go. Move on. Be the beat you that you can possibly be! Get your confidence back, rebuild your self esteem. Move on with your life and be happy with yourself! I was married 24 years she left. We’re going through a divorce and near the end. Best thing I did. I worked on me. Let her go be her. Regained my self esteem, confidence and feeling of worth Started dating again and ended up meeting a wonderful woman who I have far more in common with than my ex! Don’t view this as a loss b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/21 04:05 PM |
| 1 | A MLM was the last straw, need some adviseBe happy. If you’re going to stay married to help her then great. Otherwise, just pull the trigger. You need closure and to move on with your life. Make coparenting the objective. My soon the be ex is dragging her feet as well. After taking me to court (temp order hearing) she’s in no better spot today than she was months before the hearing. I believe she’s dragging this last piece out because of the health insurance. I’m paying all of it and she knows once our D is over she loses coverage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/21 01:35 PM |
| 3 | A friend (M) is in the process of separating/divorcing. I (F) am romantically interested.I’m almost divorced. Have been separated for awhile. My situation was no real surprise when my ex and I separated. She left me. I had planned on leaving her when my youngest was 18 and out of high school. About a month into our separation I began dating. I met a nice woman not too long after and I’ve been seeing her for 5 months. It’s really situational, if he expected it, then maybe soon. If he didn’t expect it at all or it was a bit of a surprise then it’ll be a bit. Pretty much, need to mourn… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/21 11:31 AM |
| 3 | My wife and I have talked several times about divorce, and I have a custody question for you gentlemen.My kids are older. We’re nearly finished with our divorce. My personal experience is this. Kids = Child Support $$. My kids were staying with me 50% of the time. I was giving her “child support” so that she could afford to have a large enough place and in a good area when the kids were with her 50% of the time. Long story short, she convinced the kids I was horrible. She went from amicable to a money grab as soon as she hired an attorney. One by one the kids kids decided they didn’t want to come… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/21 09:26 PM |
| 1 | Can I deposit money to a personal account then withdraw the money and give it to a family member?Not sure what state you’re in. I took her off my account prior to being served with papers. I was sure to transfer half the money from savings to her as well. Texas is a community property state. My bank’s legal department interviewed me before removing her from the account. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/21 05:41 PM |
| 2 | Trying to decide if I give my wife another shotI’m doing well. My ex ended up having an affair. Kids pretty much side with and that part is rough. However, I’m happy overall. Yes I want to see my kids and when they’re ready they will meet a dad who has expanded his emotional intelligence. Is happy overall and quite frankly has snapped the funk I’ve been in for the last 10+ years. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/21 07:05 PM |
| 2 | Trying to decide if I give my wife another shotDefinitely don’t knock yourself down. You need to be happy overall. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/21 06:03 PM |
| 1 | Trying to decide if I give my wife another shotI’m going to knock you down a bit here. I’ll apologize for this in advance. While your wife may carry much of the blame you still have a part of the blame as well. Just as I have a part of the blame for my situation I do not hold animosity toward my ex. I don’t fully blame her. Instead, I looked inward and sought answers as to how I could have done things differently. How I could have been a better person. Was I really loving her unconditionally? Of course I could’ve done things differently. She… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/21 04:32 PM |
| 3 | Can I deposit money to a personal account then withdraw the money and give it to a family member?I’m getting a divorce. After 24 years of marriage she’s run up CC debt, she’s wiped out much of the bank accounts, make demands for more and more $$. If I ever get married again! I will insist on a prenup. But again, depends on the state. In Texas, assets that are acquired during marriage, are considered community property. Legally, you cannot just withdraw money and give it to a family member for safe keeping. I will say this though, I have not once been asked to disclose any “cash” I just have… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/21 01:44 PM |
| 3 | Trying to decide if I give my wife another shotMy soon to be ex was very manipulative. She was passive aggressive and would just push my buttons. It got to a point that the only communication she really had towards me was to not pick me and let me know what I did wrong. We have kids together, now older, and I regret not divorcing her 10+ years ago. I accepted misery as a way of life because I didn’t want my kids to grow up in a broken home. Well, they did anyway. I was constantly bitter and emotionally checked out. We’re separated now. Almos… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/08/21 07:49 PM |
| 1 | Blindsided by my wife wanting srparationLet her go. Work on yourself. Find happiness with you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/21 03:49 AM |
| 2 | Divorce + Financial ruin OR Financial stability + Unhappy marriageI’m 44(m) and was married for 24 years. My last 10 years of marriage are what you described. I dreaded even talking to my wife. She’s financially irresponsible, I cooked almost every meal, I cleaned the house etc. I tried and tried to make it work. I would often get super annoyed having to even talk to her. She would even comment that it’s like I hate her at times. Guess what, my kids saw it too (that’s the part I regret). She’s very pretty but I was sexually uninterested in her. Last year she s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/08/21 02:26 AM |
| 1 | Is a lawyer highly recommended?I'm not sure about the details. Such as: Are kids involved Situation with debt situation with assets, etc. My girlfriend divorced years ago and they did it very amicably and did not involve attorneys. She did however, get guidance on the draft decree. Much of it was "check the box" cookie cutter type things. At the very least, I would consult an attorney. Normally, the initial consultation is free. You can explain the situation for them and find one to at least review the draft decree so tha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/21 06:27 PM |
| 1 | Is a lawyer highly recommended?I'm going through a divorce as well. I have a lawyer, retained mine as soon as she filed! At first everything with the divorce was amicable. Then suddenly she started wanting more and more and shifting more and more of the debt to me! At least I had a lawyer who could walk me through everything. The best case scenario is that we would remain amicable, compromise and have an agreement and the lawyers would file the final decree. Things quickly got nasty a bit later. So yes, get a lawyer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/21 06:19 PM |
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