I was married 24 years. Have 3 (15, 16, 19 all girls) kids with my soon to be ex. Leading up to our separation, my "soon to be ex" was telling my kids things, painting me in the worse possible light and essentially ensuring they sided with her. Let me be clear here. I am not perfect, I am not a perfect father. However, I work my ass off for the family and ensure they have everything they need. I also served 20+ years in the military to ensure my wife (at the time) and kids would never struggle for health insurance, and to ensure there was always an income in the home no matter what. While together my ex refused to every coparent with me at all. Everything regarding the kids was always her way, from chores (which she never required them to do) to getting a car (she made me go out and sign to finance the car or I would simply suffer her wrath). My kids however, would come to me with some things they needed and at times they would go to her.

Into the separation, tension between my middle child, oldest child and me boiled over. My middle child would challenge me about things that were only discussed between my ex and I. My oldest quickly began to take sides with my ex through all of this. My youngest was so tired of hearing about the separation and divorce that she had a melt down (her words "hearing mom talk about it").

Post separation my middle and oldest stayed with mom, citing being angry with me and needed some space. My youngest would split her time 50/50 between mom's house and mine. That went on a few months until Memorial Day weekend which was supposed to be my week with her. Her uncle was coming into town that weekend and she said she'd come when he left. She never came. I asked my ex about it and she said that she didn't want to see me anymore. By that wed, her attorney was demanding an obscene amount of child support ($3k a month).

Since July, my ex has taken me to court (temporary orders hearing), continuously maintained my kids don't want to see me. She has gotten them all new phones on her cell plan and refuses to give me and much of my family their new numbers. My only way to communicate with them is through email now.

She has since dragged out the divorce settlement. Pretty much everything was agreed to but she continuously changes her mind at this point about small details and simply delays moving this forward. She has admitted in text, that she is telling the kids things about the divorce and maintains that I'm a bad person and that's why they don't want to see me. I am assuming that she only wants to stay legally married as long as possible so that she can continue to receive a free ride on my health insurance.

I realize that she as no interest in being civil with the divorce and her only intention is to get as much money from me as she can while ensuring I am stuck with as much debt as I can. From the Temp Order hearing we had agreed on mediation in Aug (didn't happen) followed by a court hearing in Sep (never happened). I am now paying more money to my attorney to schedule a court hearing in 45 days for a trial. We're hoping this will generate some urgency for her and her attorney to get to mediation and hopefully have a settlement in place before a trial. My attorney has said her attorney will not reply to him at all about anything.

For the sake of full transparency. We are located in Texas. We have sold our family home and I am refusing to endorse the check for the proceeds (lawyers advice) until we have a settlement agreement in place. She is receiving $2,300/mo in Child Support for 2 minor children and receives an additional $1,200/mo for half my military pension. I began dating again and actually met a divorced woman with three kids as well. We have been seeing each other exclusively for months.

What are realistic options for rebuilding a relationship with my kids? I don't want to make this another legal battle and drag them through all of the pain. I want my kids to have a relationship with me again, I want them to have peace and I want peace as well. I have asked my ex many times about the kids and she just says "they don't want to see you or have contact with you". She says that if the kids want me to have their number they will reach out to me and give it to me.