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Adorable_FecalSpray Archive

View 0 posts and 1,644 comments by Adorable_FecalSpray on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

No.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 03:45 AM
2

Teach your kids to communicate to their mother that they want to go outside? Will she just never allow them to?
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 11:28 PM
2

You need to let go and start your journey of moving on man. I know it is tough but you need to do it, start moving on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 03:35 AM
2

I agree with Mom chipping in. But would also encourage OP to check out BJJ, Muay Thai, and Boxing. A nice contrast to golf.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 01:23 AM
1

Ehh, that sucks. Probably would take a motion to counter her motion but I doubt it will happen.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 01:46 AM
1

Can you cancel just her line? Can you confirm that the agent truly did not allow and your wife isn’t just lying? I gave mine a month, then set a deadline for 1 week after since she still had not taken care of it and told her I was cancelling it. She got it ported in 2 days. I know it doesn’t fit your situation exactly but just sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 11:16 PM
3

Really, I will send those feet pics now!! If you are legit, which it sounds like you may be, thanks for wanting to help.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 08:58 PM
2

So how does this work, do I have to send you pictures of my feet?
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 05:33 AM
2

Haha, right here.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 05:22 AM
3

No. If I did I would be lying. My life improved dramatically after the divorce. Her choice, but her leaving allowed so much more peace in my life. Is my life perfect? No. But I wouldn’t go back with her for $10 billion dollars.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 01:41 AM
1

No. And I only think of her due to the fact that she continues to bring chaos and drama into my life through my youngest children. Continued threats, manipulation, gaslighting, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 03:31 PM
0

No. I was a 2-3 beers a month drinker. She drank more wine typically, especially towards the end.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 02:49 AM
3

Do you not know where the cameras are? Can you not locate them? If you can locate them, reset them at the least. At the most, remove them. It is your home too, right?
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 02:21 AM
8

No, wrong advice. Remove the cameras, OP lives there he can decide to remove items that he no longer wants where he is living.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 02:18 AM
5

Well, self-awareness is a good start. Just as a heads up, you should know that there are literally hundreds of thousands of other women out there that provide the possibility of a better match with you. Make wise choices.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 12:15 PM
12

If you meet up with her, you are not a smart man.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 02:23 AM
1

Why leave your phone? Plan accordingly, everything you do going forward will be viewed in some sort of way… That could either hurt you and or benefit her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 02:24 PM
7

2nd paragraph, first sentence… right there. Leave. Run.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 05:08 PM
7

Why completely trust/believe what your Ex says? Mine regularly lies about what my kids think and/or say. I follow up with them and subtly ask them and they will be completely surprised and tell me that they didn’t say X or don’t feel that way (that Mom said). And many times it is about minor stuff that they wouldn’t worry about telling me themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 03:01 PM
2

Yeah, I know what you mean man. It is tough. Although from the sounds of it she is projecting, if she has been the one actually beating on you. And I am guessing that you didn’t just toss the crate out of the blue. Maybe in response to her instigating? Maybe, maybe not… but if that’s what happened, that is called reactive abuse. Still not right/good but know that isn’t your natural state. Sort of like her kicking a lion a dozen times and then crying and screaming when she got bit. I would encour…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 08:47 PM
2

I feel for you man but your comment about being violent and wrestling and bodybuilding… I disagree. I’ve lifted, done all sorts of martial arts, boxing, Muay Thai, firearms training, etc and no anger or violence issues here. Practicing and training a “violent” activity doesn’t mean you ARE violent. Just that you have the capability to be. I see it as a mindset issue. I am guessing, she was probably using that, you knowing how to be violent and being strong as just another reason to leave. I mean…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 03:36 PM
6

She can make a copy of the key. Maybe just get install new locks if it isn’t cost prohibitive?
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 12:55 PM
1

No, I use it as a time to teach my kids how to keep a house organized and how to clean properly.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 11:48 PM
2

Relatable...
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 11:43 PM
2

Switching like this is insane, no stability for the children. My Ex tried to push 1 night on and 1 night off schedule. I asked 2 lawyers and 2 therapists and they all said it would not allow stability for the children. They wouldn’t even get settled at one place before having to move again. We settled on week on week off.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 09:25 PM
5

I think I recognize James, from his IG reels. While I don’t agree with 100% of what I’ve heard him say I will say that 99.5% of what I’ve heard him say is very spot on. He has some really wise observations and I would recommend that people watch some of his stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 12:46 PM
4

Bru, you need to provide some more context or include quotes or who is saying this and to whom? Sounds messed up whatever it is.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 04:41 PM
3

No.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 08:23 PM
3

If you are interested, you might want to check out the Parental Alienation sub.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 01:14 PM
1

What kind of pain and when exactly?
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 01:10 PM
31

This your Ex? What even are you doing man? Move on, she doesn’t like you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 03:28 AM
2

I wouldn’t be crazy about her staying in the home for so long. I would be looking for potential places she could take advantage there. Would she be on the hook for 50% of repairs as well? Are you still paying for the mortgage 100% Personally I would want her out sooner but maybe you have a reason you are ok with that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 12:15 AM
13

You have two teenagers and yourself to, not worry about, but to focus on. Take it one day at a time, you got this man.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 10:53 PM
2

Does alimony end after 4th year? Make sure it states that, if it doesn’t actually already. Is there no cap on college? What if children decide on Yale/Harvard/Princeton? I would want some sort of limit in place. Who decides on sale price of the house, do you both have to agree? Just some things I wondered about reading through.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 09:18 PM
2

Get new additional cameras that are not associated with the existing camera network and install them. Also, curious what beer? ;)
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 04:56 AM
2

So it’s basically like you are part-time married. Definitely not my thing but it appears that since you aren’t enforcing rules or boundaries it is working out for your wife (not an Ex), if she still is living with you some times.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 05:44 PM
2

Same here. Except she mostly sucks as an uninvolved mom then when something little happens to the kids she over compensates and becomes SUPER INVOLVED LOVING and CARING MOM!! I wish her happiness and stability as that seems to help her, to be a somewhat better mom to the kids. But mostly she seems annoyed with them.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 02:13 AM
12

Why the AP, why not your Ex? She is the one that made the vow with you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 11:37 PM
1

Thankfully none of my kids’ teams are like that.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 12:20 AM
3

I would just say, “Assume child will attend all scheduled events unless I say otherwise.” I’ve found that 80% of other parents never update the app to say their kid is coming. Then ignore the Ex as you are. 😉
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 06:16 PM
14

The way her work is she could have an affair and not need to use any devices. Airline crew stay at the same hotel. If she wanted she could probably hook up w some guy at the bar if she is half as good as you say she is. She doesn’t need to be perfect to get some random one night stand. I would put more weight on your dead bedroom and the fact of how she treats you, that she has already at least mentally and physically checked out of your marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 12:32 AM
5

Nope. She tells half truths, outright lies and nothing happens.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 01:27 AM
3

Not the OP that you asked, but because probably 80% of guys need to get into the gym.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 03:06 AM
5

Yes. It is your house as well. You are just nicely rearranging things.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 11:09 PM
1

Bro, learn to use paragraphs, that was painful to read.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 04:05 PM
6

I wish I had called the police on my Ex when she assaulted me. I missed the opportunity.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 06:51 PM
0

Are you still paying CS for the “kids”?
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 09:43 PM
2

Most states have a child support / alimony calculator. Try to find that for whatever state divorce was filed it and enter the numbers. That should give you a good idea. Next option would be get a couple free consults with lawyers and ask their input and if they can run the numbers for you. Also, how old are the kids?
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 06:57 PM
2

Maybe, it was due to her being late. You were on time. Tiny slip shows maybe her life isn’t perfect? Could that have given you the positive feeling?
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 09:29 AM
6

Did you even have a lawyer? That split completely sucks sweaty balls. Has this already been agreed upon by you and your Ex or rules by the judge or was it just proposed by your Ex (her lawyer)? I’m so sorry you are going through this and that this appears to be your current situation.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 01:30 PM
7

A truly wise man. Son should follow on his foot steps.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 02:08 PM
1

Maybe you should check out the Parental Alienation sub. Many people there could show you from their own personal lives that is not the case.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 05:25 PM
4

I am not saying you are wrong... but what do your kids perceive? (I don't know, in your case, but I know in some cases the kids see their father in a negative light). Just something to be aware of. Best wishes to you and all that are dealing with this.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 08:50 AM
4

Bruh, don’t assume you know what the book is about. Read it. Also, here. Here is where you can find some like minded guys that will give you good advice.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 07:24 AM
3

You do know that there are like a few billion other women out there for you to meet, don’t you? This isn’t Disney. She isn’t your Princess, you aren’t her Prince Charming, there isn’t such a thing as a “soul mate”. There are millions of girls on the girl tree, go pick one that is more compatible with you and will show you the desire and affection that you need. BUT… before that, work and focus on yourself. Heal yourself, mentally, physically, spiritually, relationally. If you aren’t fully functi…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 04:54 AM
4

Bro, no. Step away from the flowers, do not send. Find new hobbies!
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 04:02 AM
15

If you divorced her and you buy her flowers, that’s messed up and you are playing games with her mind If she divorced you and you are buying her flowers, you need to learn to move on. Please do not embarrass yourself like that. Focus on yourself and your sons.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 03:08 AM
2

Man that is tough, I am sorry to hear! You might want to check out the Parental Alienation sub.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 06:12 PM
8

Sounds like you are letting her be the boss of you and walk all over you. Follow the advice given here for an improvement. If you do decide to live in your car, bad idea for your situation, check out the urbancarliving sub at least. But really you have so many other options before that point.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 02:39 PM
3

In my opinion, at least with Miami, you get the ocean and the requisite breeze to help fight the heat and humidity. You won’t get that in Atlanta. Also Atlanta is notorious for its horrible traffic. I know Miami can be bad w traffic but again in my opinion, Atlanta is worse. So possibly living on the southside of Atlanta… But not directly, the “Southside“ (as that’s not that great of a neighborhood). The main issue for me, would be the ability to quickly and easily as possible. See my kid(s). Th…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 09:56 PM
1

I agree, good choice. And best wishes w the job man!
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 06:37 PM
11

No. Absolutely not. The separation will most likely NOT help your relationship. You need to start thinking about moving on.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 05:25 AM
2

Me neither. But also wasting time thinking about the guy is, well a waste of time. You don’t have to divorce the other guy.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 02:27 PM
-1

K. So is your cheating whore wife. Just sounds like you have some misplaced anger with the one who cheated on you bro. Therapy will help.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 02:24 PM
1

Ok.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 04:33 AM
-1

Has the other guy made a vow with you? No. The other guy is just part of the unspoken “bro code“. Which many guys actively eschew. The likelihood that you will get buy in, on “bro code”, from 3+ billion other guys is highly unlikely. Although you have gotten “buy in” from your supposed wife when she made her vows to you. The fact that you would not hold your wife accountable, just speaks to your weakness.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 04:27 AM
5

If they knew wife was married, about 15%, probably more like 10%. If they didn’t know wife was married 0%. I tend to blame the Ex 90% at the minimum, more likely at 100%.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 04:06 AM
3

I didn’t cheat. Although Ex accused me of it many times. She did, I found out. Divorced. The reason you don’t hear from the cheaters is because they probably think they did nothing wrong. They always have some excuse. Just “man up” and divorce, don’t cheat. Don’t be weak. Don’t be a coward.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 03:18 AM
5

Yup, so don’t sell your heart to them. Heal yourself, learn how to protect yourself, know that only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. Enjoy their company but be ready to move on when the red flags start popping up.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 08:37 PM
2

I think it is something along the lines of, you being happy will help to remove any guilt she may feel for the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 06:48 AM
4

Courtesy? 😂😂 No.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 12:21 AM
5

Ugh, just so much cringe (as the kids say these days) reading this! 😂 What caught my eye though was your Ex rolling up her new supplies sleeves. My Ex, when we were married would do that to me, so frequently! At first I just chuckled, then started to be like, “???”. Then I finally asked her and she accused me of being insecure and not wanting her to touch me. Which was completely not the case. She would not give me. Straight answer and would always flip it back on me. I had simply asked her, in …
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 05:55 AM
11

She is sorry she was caught. She isn’t sorry she cheated or hurt you. I know it may be tough man, and I am sorry you are going through this but you need to start your planning and divorce her.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 02:26 PM
1

Do not try to do this, it will end badly for you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 02:24 PM
8

100% agree. Courts / judges do not care.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 07:09 PM
11

Don’t follow your sunk cost. It is better to end it too soon, than not soon enough, in my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 09:10 PM
3

Yes, very much yes… OP you are being a little bitch. Stop interacting with your cheating disloyal broken whore Ex.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 09:11 PM
7

Goal: Make yourself the healthiest motherfucker you know.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 01:48 AM
6

It could be that they need to search their records to see if she might have contacted them in the past or worked with them, would possibly a conflict of interest then. I don’t recall either of my lawyers, asking for her contact information. They did ask for her first, middle and last name though. Just ask them in the morning. If they don’t give a good reason tell them she should not be contacted and how important it is to you that she not be contacted. But my guess, they probably just want it fo…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 03:52 AM
1

Do not tell your wife anything until after the divorce is final. And even then probably best to hold back some info. As for the AP’s wife, also wait until the divorce is final, the. Provide the proof you have gathered. Make sure it is concrete. Don’t expect her to gush and thank you. Maybe she will, but probably not. Then go live your best life with your boys, showing and teaching them to be wise so they don’t make the same mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 02:23 PM
1

It did.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 02:21 PM
2

2-3, and yeah the flags are on a sliding scale of severity.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 04:22 PM
4

I just take it as a data point towards their Red Flags quota. They hit the Red Flag quota and I move on. Internally, I might rage for a few seconds and think about some other average good guy getting ruined for a while. But then I move on.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 02:48 AM
1

My Ex use to do this as well, take them to Urgent Care for colds and sore throats, take them to the ER because they fell off their bike going about 4mph (w/ a helmet on), took them to the ER because one pushed another down while wrestling and she thought they had broken their ankle. $50 for Urgent Care, $150 for ER (Although the last couple of years co-pays have continuously increased), so now $75 for UC and $300 for ER. She would also take them to out of network doctors and specialists for all …
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 06:44 PM
2

I didn’t move out. She was leaving the marriage she can leave the house and find somewhere else to live. I knew she would immediately sell the house as soon as she could, if I let her stay. I wanted stability and consistency for the kids. I’m still in the same house 5 years later. Meanwhile, she has moved 5 times in 5 years. Always for some “valid” totally necessary reason. 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 08:55 PM
7

Why? Why would you share any personal information with your ex? And yes, she absolutely could and most likely would. You need to read the book, The Art of War. Do not give your enemy ammunition to kill yourself with. Also, stop looking for good information over in the /Divorce sub. This sub will have your best interest in mind.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 12:41 PM
1

45 minute late? I hope you charged your therapist a late fee. Use the late fee to pay for the drinks when you ask your gym crush out.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 01:19 PM
3

Get a recording device and/or cameras.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 06:35 AM
12

No. Absolutely not. Disgusting, move on.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 04:59 PM
6

Get some free consults w lawyers, start the divorce process, DO NOT take your possession of your mom’s house until AFTER the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 02:14 PM
8

No. Do not get back with her. She lied about you in court???!?!? No!!!
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 04:26 PM
5

I think two important components here are time AND “I’m honestly still working through things”. Also, having your (cheating) Ex sincerely apologize probably helps as well. We, myself included, need to remember to give it time and to do our own work in processing, healing and improving ourselves where we might need to. Glad to hear things are going better for you man!
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 06:44 PM
1

I never said “no communication”.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 10:26 PM
5

Dude, stop talking about anything of this with your Ex. That is SO weird!
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 04:25 PM
1

Hi Mom?
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 04:10 PM
0

“Physical Touch”? Most married women don’t want that.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 04:05 AM
7

No. We had a joint event a couple days before and then a get together of the bridal party and other friends and family. It was low key, fun and relaxing. A very marked difference from all the other prep for the wedding and the wedding itself. Sort of a stupid question. Are you looking for stories for an article to post?
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 07:53 PM
4

You are already reading… No more Mr. nice guy, so that is a good start. I would also strongly recommend the following: - The subtle art of not giving a f*ck - The codependant’s user manual.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 06:12 PM
1

100% trust in a woman I’d marry them Interested in how you find yourself getting to that point.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 04:52 AM
3

If you really want kids, consider adopting. Single parent is tough, but I am basically a single parent now after my divorce and I love it. It is actually easier doing this single then it was married.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 04:50 AM
2

Man, I am so sorry for you. While I don't know exactly how you feel, you have my deepest sympathies. ​ I just can't fathom a parent not attempting to communicate with their kids, at all. I mean, unless you told them, "Never talk to or attempt to communicate with me again!" I would attempt to respect that boundary from them. ​ Although even then, when I really think about it, I would probably still reach out to my kid at least 1-2 times a years. Letting them sorry for not following their wish, bu…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 03:37 PM
2

Check my reply to the OP. Also, I wouldn’t try to force it too much. But let her know you love her and are there for her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 06:04 AM
7

Maybe it’s not your Ex, maybe it is. Check out /Parentalalienation sub. Also, it helps to share who started the divorce? Did anyone cheat? Could one identify be seen as being “at fault”? If daughter is closer to mom she is more likely to side w/ mom and want to protect her. Which means less of a relationship with you unfortunately. As someone that has gone through this and then reconnected w/ alienated children several years later I would suggest 2-4 texts a week, keep it light and humorous, enc…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 06:02 AM
1

Three different marriage counselors. Two were not good. One was sort of good. You can guess how long that lasted w the Ex. So my opinion of marriage counseling as couples is not that great. Individual therapy? Yes. If you can find a good therapist the. Definitely yes. You may have to search, go through a few before you find one that clicks with you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:44 AM
1

Sounds like you got your plan down and some awesome financial milestones soon! Nice work man!
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 08:05 PM
2

Get a new car, when it makes financial sense, if it gives you so many memories of her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 06:07 PM
11

Get a lawyer. Get a divorce. Now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 02:16 PM
2

And financially. He seems to be a willing party to that though.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 02:16 PM
2

Yeah, I have found therapy good to talk my thoughts out loud and process the shit I went through during the marriage and divorce. Get a "sanity" check on stuff by the therapist and then make up my own mind. The therapists I have gone to do not really give me direct advice. However, they have given feedback on whether doing X or doing Y would be beneficial for me because of such and such a reason. I also found it helpful to have a professional tell me, "Yes, from the way you describe your Ex she …
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 09:57 AM
16

Lectures? “Dad, Mom, I love you but you do not get to tell me what I have to do or what I should do. You can listen to me, you can offer your thoughts and suggestions but if you lecture me… I am my own man. I am messed up right now but I will figure this out and how best to handle it. It might take some time but I will figure it out. It might not be what you would say or do and that is alright.” Hang in there man, you’re walking through hell right now. Keep walking.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 07:19 PM
8

No.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 07:15 PM
23

Why are you even talking to her? Much less asking her about her hook-up.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 10:14 PM
2

That’s pretty awesome.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 10:13 PM
2

You might also want to check r/BPDlovedones.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 01:24 PM
7

Ha. Haha. Hahahahaba! She is considering dating you again after the divorce is final? Oooooooo boy!!! Ok, I am sorry. Sorry for your pain and that you are going through this. BUT under NO circumstance should you ever get back and be involved with her. She is jerking you around and keeping you on her chain by “offering” you this “awesome” opportunity. You’ve shown her you can do just as well or maybe even better without her, so she wants to reel you back in. My suggestion is that you schedule som…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 03:18 AM
3

Find your state CS calculator, should be online. Input your and her salary details and overnights the kids have with each. It should give you a pretty good estimate. I would probably go with that rather than what she wants.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 02:52 AM
4

Whoa, dropping 90 lbs is HUGE, both figuratively and literally!! I am proud of you man! ​ Check out the /BPDlovedones subreddit, and maybe just read for a while. You will feel not so alone and maybe learn some coping mechanisms for dealing with someone with BPD.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 06:43 AM
2

Check out the /BPDlovedones subreddit, maybe just read for a while. You will feel not so alone.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 06:42 AM
2

Haha, just messing w ya. Good to hear though. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 10:06 PM
6

2 down 1 to go? Third time is a charm? 😉
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 09:49 PM
1

3rd times a charm, right? Right?? 😂 And man, you could have done EVERYTHING right and she could have still disagreed. Don’t beat yourself up too much about it. Just learn, improve yourself as a man and move on. Oh and maybe don’t get married again. 😏
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 04:35 PM
2

Maybe. Someday... but after four years, we still have not gotten there. ​ Although I now have "relationships" with the older ones. It is typically only when they need something though. ​ Which makes me sad, but I will take it and enjoy it for what it is for now.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 07:03 AM
2

Re: number 2. The mom/Ex could also lie and tell the kids you said nasty things to her when you have not. Or “accidentally” (on purpose) let the kids hear things you’ve supposedly said when you have not, as she is talking to her other family or friends. I’ve dealt with that for years.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 03:12 AM
5

I second the parallel parenting route. Especially with an Ex that has a personality disorder.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 03:08 AM
3

Just tell your son, “From now on, if you have questions about me doing this or that, please ask me directly. I wasn’t aware that mom told you that she asked me. If I was I would have told you that I wasn’t coming. I am sorry you were led to believe that.” Or something along those lines b
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 11:23 PM
1

U mad bro? Y u so mad? 🤗
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 03:36 PM
3

Figures you’re an OF girl. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 01:31 PM
3

LOLLOLOLOLOLO, the fact that you would seriously consider this. Just no, man, no no no.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 02:28 AM
1

But the question remains… is she truly willing to work on it? Doesn’t matter if you are the only one that wants to work on it. Also, can you bring yourself to trust her after what she did?
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 08:08 AM
4

Have you thought about a more intense sport than golf? Although it is good you have some friends that help distract you. I find golf gives one too much time to ruminate. Have you ever considered BJJ, Boxing or Muay Thai! Also those three sports are definitely not boring. The kicker is, she won’t get to experience that part of you anymore. She has shown she isn’t loyal by her betraying you. I suggest those for you, not for anything to do with her. If she does decide to “work on it” with you she w…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 08:07 AM
6

Dude, why in the world are you even entertaining her offer? ​ So you gave her the "message!" look... what is that even? ​ You must be a bit of a masochist... get that crap out of here and do not review her texts anymore. Go work out, go do your hobbies, anything but doing what you just did.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 10:51 PM
3

Man, I feel for you! And I want to say that you are doing a great job, listening to the guys here. You are showing a really level head by walking back on the GPS tracking idea. My suggestion is that you schedule some lawyer consults and then focus on you. I’ve shared the below, in the past, here and quite a few guys have said they have found it helpful to them. Hopefully you can find something useful from the below. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guy…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 03:22 AM
2

Are you a woman? If you are a woman, then by all means go live your best ho life. But you aren’t a woman. So don’t live like one.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 09:24 PM
5

Self work. Then realizing that the majority of woman income across are not worth the effort. There is very little good ROI from what I put into the relationship to what I get out of the relationship. So far it hasn’t been worth it to me to not be single.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 04:20 PM
3

How did that reversal go? I’ve been thinking about getting one but having more kids w someone else keeps me from going through with it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 06:58 AM
10

They are also millionaires. That helps, so I’ve been told.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 06:57 AM
3

I won't speak to the guilt part. I will speak to the performance and enjoyment of having sex with a childhood friend part. ​ Personally, I would hook up a few times with someone that I knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere, more of a one / two-night stand type of thing... to get the butterflies out of your stomach. Before hooking up with your childhood friend. ​ I say that after having hooked up with a childhood friend just recently and I think I had almost the best sex of my life with her…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 02:09 AM
2

He may be kidding. I am not kidding. But just do the blow once. Keep doing the hookers.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 02:45 AM
8

Just acting weird... you mean she is blatantly trying to get you to come in and have sex with her. How much more obvious could she be? ​ Whether she truly has BPD or not, you need to be really careful. ​ Also, you should check out the BPDLovedones subreddit, just do some reading. You will definitely have your eyes opened if you are not already familiar with BPD.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 03:30 AM
3

Dude, seriously you told her that? Ugh, man... good you are being honest with us, but please please do not talk to her again about any of this. You need to move on man. There are probably at least a million or so other women out there that would eat a glazed doughnut off your dick and put your wife to shame. Go find one of them. Your wife is no longer your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 06:09 AM
1

I didn’t. I told her to move out since she was the one that wanted the divorce and filed. But between you and me, I was 1000% on board with the idea!!! My life got 67% more peaceful day to day w/ her gone.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 08:39 AM
1

It could just be a “normal” stage with her. It could also be Parental Alienation. I’m not saying it is or that you should be paranoid about it. But you should at least be aware of it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 09:43 PM
1

Dude, what have you done in the last year to heal and work on yourself?
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 08:59 PM
4

She can’t have good sex. I’m told that by then regularly.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 06:06 PM
1

It’s not that bad, read my comment to the guy you replied to.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 06:06 PM
3

Will she be alone? No. Will she be lonely? In 95% of the cases yes. She WILL most likely be lonely. There is a difference. The ones I spend time with, I can hear it in their voices, see the desperation in their eyes. They hate being alone. Hence so many of them have cats, dogs, and base their existence around their pet.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 06:06 PM
1

I am sorry for your loss and what you have gone through. I hope you share your story with your mom.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 05:15 PM
4

Haha, good for you! Keep it up! My Ex always considered me the problem. Well, maybe not always but she DEFINITELY did NOT consider herself the problem. EVER.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 10:14 PM
55

I created and held my boundaries. I use to show my ”love” by almost always giving into her wants / manipulation. I finally started to hold my boundaries. We were married for almost 20 years. Once I started to hold my boundaries gently and calmly, she lasted just over one year before she divorced me. I am so glad. I have so so much more peace in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 05:28 AM
3

Wow, I think it would typically be the opposite experience. For me it has been. I’ve gotten WAY better sex since getting divorced. Amazingly better sex.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 11:14 PM
2

Just as long as you are learning to lose those emotions for your Ex. She obvs moved you, you need to as well.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 05:36 AM
4

Going back to your Ex is like going back to your cold McDonald's fries from the day before... ​ ... just all-around stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 05:35 AM
1

I make it a point to not lie to my children. There are times when I will delay my answer by an appropriate amount of time and then look at them and tell them that they really need to ask their mother about that. ​ I would be concerned that your child figures things out and then knows you are lying. ​ I also would be quite a bit more direct with the Ex.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 01:00 AM
3

Agree on the first reply to the Ex, not the 2nd... if it was ever shared by whoever you could get charged with "revenge porn".
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 12:58 AM
1

No, not really. I just want her to leave me alone. And not gaslight or manipulate the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 06:47 PM
1

Don’t perpetuate only holding men accountable.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 09:54 AM
7

Your last part is good. Your first part is not. He can “care about her” in his head. His boundaries should preclude him from having anything to do with her besides recommending she get into therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 08:45 PM
34

She should get into therapy. OP, are you a therapist? No. As said above, this chapter is closed. She needs to take care of herself and get into therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 08:43 PM
14

I’m sorry you are going through this and I can relate to a lot of the feelings you are experiencing. Here is a write up / path I made that I followed that seemed to help me. I’ve received positive feedback from other guys I have shared it with as well. Hang in there and don’t give up. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, th…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 05:03 PM
1

Check out /ParentalAlienation. It may be related to that. Or it may be related to your Princess becoming more of a grown up and entitled. Hopefully not that last part.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 08:17 PM
2

You are right about the daughter Princess. But you are wrong about finding some special (woman) partner. There are no special partners. There are just partners. There are just women.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 08:15 PM
1

My Ex and I were together for close to 20. I wasn’t attracted to her for the last couple years we were married. Once she did the final discard and said THIS divorce is for real, I was 137% on board. Once the divorce was final I had an increase in peace by at least 50%. Everyone’s experience can be different. The most important thing, I believe, is that you continue to progress and make yourself a better man. For yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 06:53 PM
1

“Wish you well bb” … please do not do that anymore. She has moved on to the next guy and is also probably selling pictures of her feet. You need to file. The sooner the better.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 05:03 PM
0

Tell her that her starfish sex during the marriage can also be used in Utah for YOUR emotional distress in a court of law.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 03:25 AM
–

Get thee behind us Jezebel!!!
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 10:09 PM
2

No. I have not been given the outright chance and even if I was, I would definitely not take it. There was a time she was insinuating something but I quickly cut that down. I am not at all interested.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 05:45 AM
9

No. I mean when I really think about it and if I was to meet a lady that hit all the items on my needs and wants checklist, such as being emotionally stable, supportive, low maintenance, physically fit, leads an active lifestyle, loved my kids, had the same spiritual beliefs as me, had somewhat similar political beliefs as me, did not have any serious debt and was aligned with my saving, spending and investing mindset, enjoyed some of the same hobbies as I do but also had her own hobbies, was aw…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 10:45 PM
2

Jackass and valid. I gotchu bro.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 07:52 PM
5

I also don't want the hassle and expense of changing locks, since the kids have keys and codes to get in and the whole process feels needless and a waste of my money and time. Then suffer the consequences since you can't be "bothered". What a lazy perspective. Also, you are teaching your kids... Hey kids, "Daddy lets Mommy walk all over him. He won't make boundaries because it is needless and a hassle. Learn from my spineless examples. Maybe later I will let mommy's new boyfriend come over and f…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 05:50 AM
4

Sometimes I am like, duuuuuuh!!! ​ But I think we have all been there, blinded by emotions and everything going on. Not seeing the forest for the trees. ​ Yes, change the locks.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 04:45 AM
1

He mentioned in a comment above a Male child, 5 years old. I thought it was 5 months too at first. ​ Great suggestions for all the rest of your stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 04:40 AM
2

Maybe not sex... yet. But if it hasn't happened then it will soon enough. ​ I am sorry man. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 04:39 AM
6

Hey bro, I just wanted to say that I am proud of you. That you are taking input. Guys that have been where you are right now, that made their mistakes, some really bad ones, but you are showing a lot of wisdom in listening to them. For what it is worth, I am proud of you. I am glad you have your folks, your sister and some friends on your side. I do hope they will support you in the weeks and months ahead. Even if they do support you, do your best to get a therapist. Your family and friends are …
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 04:37 AM
3

Yes, eventually but not just yet. As soon as you do that she will know within a short time period that something is wrong. Do not open an account at the same bank. Look for a new bank to open an account at.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 04:33 AM
2

Nope. I tell my kids I absolutely don't want them to buy me a Father's Day gift or card or a Birthday gift or card. If they really want they can make me a homemade card. ​ The only thing I want from them for Father's Day is that they do their best at whatever they try, work hard at school, chores, and work, be respectful to authority figures in their lives, be kind to one another and walk on my back when I ask them to. I also tell them that any day that I get to spend with them is Father's Day t…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 09:29 AM
1

DO NOT HAVE KIDS!!!! Make your choice whatever that is but DO NOT HAVE KIDS!!!
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 01:24 AM
1

He edited his comment. And I think his comment included something like, "smashing her from the top... something something, all the way home." ​ Yeah, his edit: wisstinks4 · 1 hr. ago · edited 57 min. ago
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 02:59 AM
2

And you would have my vote for making a stupid choice. Go find a new girl to bang. You do you but telling other guys to smash their soon to be Ex’s, opening them up to all sorts of problems is just plain stupid and doesn’t belong here. Edit: Since you edited your comment, I'm just leaving this edit here to note that. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 01:58 AM
2

Ex moved out of the marital home, 12 minutes away. 1 yr later she moved again, now 18 min away. 1 yr later she moved again, 12 min away. 2 yrs later she moved again, 40 min away. I am willing to bet she moves again within 2 yrs. Hopefully not further away though. She is mad at me because I won’t move closer to her. 🙄🤷🏽‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 08:10 AM
1

Yes, you are beautiful on the inside. 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 06:10 PM
8

Man, I feel ya! Take a drink or two, but don’t make it a habit. Put that anger into working out, lifting, heavy weights, doing some HIIT or BJJ, boxing, Muay Thai. All of those are healthier, will help you be a little bit more social and will build muscle. But yeah, I SO get you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 06:27 AM
2

Hey man, I get you and where you are coming from about the house. Definitely, if you want to fight for it, see if there are other things you could give her to get her out of the house or to give up her marital portion. Please be careful though, not letting her know that you are willing to die on that hill. As she could use that to manipulate you, and the situation to get a lot more. This is basically negotiation 101. Don’t tip your hand to what you consider is REALLY important. I was able to buy…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 06:00 AM
1

Exactly.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 02:50 PM
2

He would be apologizing that it is causing her stress. That’s all, one time. From what he said, it’s not just a one time issue. It sounds like they are repeatedly doing this many times a day possibly and sharing information that he and the new wife may not like or take some sort of an issue with. But as I said, he would be setting or resetting expectations with the kids. And I also did not say that they should just stop calling. In fact, based on the legal wording, it sounds like nothing can be …
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 02:49 PM
2

Cool story. By and large it is women that will not hold themselves or other women accountable. Is it every woman? No. But it is a large majority of them. Whereas men regularly hold themselves and other men accountable. And women hold men accountable as well and men very regularly accept it. It is you that has the wrong mindset. People hold others accountable typically because they care about them, not because they hate them. Not holding someone accountable just proves you don’t actually care abo…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 12:14 PM
2

Man, I want to commend you for being willing to put yourself in this spot. Sharing your situation here, receiving the harsh but true feedback, and then setting your heart and mind on following through on that feedback. You have a tough road ahead of you, but with the type of a attitude that you have, I believe you will handle it well and come out in a much better position for you and your kids after all of this is done.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 11:40 AM
2

Have you read the book No More Mr. Nice Guy? Or Boundaries? Or The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck? All real books that will help you out in your situation. Check to see if you can get them as audiobooks. I would recommend the first and the last titles to listen to first. And they keep drama to a minimum I would suggest that you not allow her to see the books.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 11:36 AM
1

For a divorce that is this contentious, I think I would pay for movers and a moving truck to send the items to her place. 😬😂 Only half joking…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 10:33 AM
3

Man this sounds so rough. I feel for you and your kids. It sounds as if you handled it pretty well. As you said, you feel bad and that is perfectly fine. And I am sure you know this but it came to all of this because she has a problem that she won’t fix. Best wishes as you navigate this.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 09:55 AM
5

You got married again??? Appears to not be an American woman, but still seems to come with the same type of issues… well, anyways. How old are your kids? If they are younger do you not have a set time for them to call their mom? If they are older you should teach them that just because they CAN call about every little thing maybe they should “think twice” before doing so. Always being on the phone is rude. Also it may interrupt the person you are calling if you are doing it a lot. And it definit…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 09:13 AM
5

I am still painfully reading this... but man hit that ENTER key two times, please create paragraphs. ​ Edited: Do you have your kids at all? Is she supposed to pay for child care when they are with you? Also, she obviously is willing to lie and put you in the worst light possible to get her way. With the video and the screaming and swearing in front of your kids. Ignore her pleadings. I would tell her to take you to court.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 07:08 AM
2

You have two options. First options, sit down with her and ask her to write out with you what her plans are for retirement, financially. And/or go to couple's counseling to work towards the goal of getting on the same page financially. Personally and unfortunately, I think the above options are shit and will likely not result in any lasting real change. I am biased due to my past experiences as well as hearing others'. Second option, you need to start planning for about a year or so in the futur…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 06:44 AM
1

Start doing BJJ, Boxing, Muay Thai, CrossFit, lots of guys do those things. Join a running, biking, hiking club or Meet-up group. Either find a group or make up a group of guys to go play Trivia once or twice a week. Find an Ultimate Frisbee league or a Dodgeball league to join. Start going to the gym to lift. Or find a place that has pick up Basketball. Find a IRL or virtual group to play some group based videos games with. Unfortunately, there is not a high probability of finding guys locally …
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 02:31 AM
4

I absolutely would be glad to… in fact, I am going to share some information that I’ve shared here previously. Maybe you will find it helpful or maybe you won’t. Take what you can use and ignore the rest. And the book titles are in there. Best wishes to you as you head through this journey. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weigh…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 03:48 AM
3

I would say probably in 95% of the divorce cases there is zero logic to get back together. At one point before our divorce was finalized my ex tried to be sweet or she tried to reminisce with me about something in a flirty way. I was not having any of it. I shut her down, pretty harshly, but not too overboard. The look on her face was one of surprise. Which made me think she still thought she could get me to come back or that I would allow her to come back as we did that “dance“ so many times ov…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 11:40 PM
1

Her affair? She isn’t pregnant currently, is she? Regardless, if you haven’t gotten paternity tests for your kids, you might want to do that. Who knows what or why people think what they think. Obviously they are out of the loop enough to not realize that divorce instigated by women is on epic levels in the US. I would either outright ignore them if they brought it up on their own. Or if you bring it up to vent/explain things to them, stop. Find a therapist to vent and share with.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 11:28 PM
1

I think in most cases, the cost of the house is based on the appraised value. At least it was in mine. The 401(k) is based on its current value, not future value. When you split the 401(k), you could possibly take out extra and give it to her to help buy out her half of the house. I think there are divorces that are not bloodbaths, but since those are not as exciting, you typically do not hear about them. But I also think the bloodbath divorces are more common. My initial divorce, for the most p…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 11:49 PM
8

I bought her out of the marital home. I had to use some of my 401k to do that. But she was already getting half of my 401k so an extra $$,$$$ was palatable to me. Also when we (I) bought this house I made sure that it was at the price I could retain it on one income. One of my main goals was to keep things consistent for my kids as I knew she would end up moving around every year or two. Which is what she did. In the 4 1/2 years that we have been divorced she has moved four times. She has also g…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 04:44 PM
4

And by learning, you mean not making the same mistake for the THIRD time. Seriously, sorry you are going through this again. But I truly hope you have internalized the lesson. The THIRD time will NOT be the charm. Also, don't put so much blame on JUST yourself for the "shitty communication." This is NOT ALL on you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 07:11 AM
4

Fuckin’ damn straight man! Keep up the good work
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 04:16 AM
2

Sounds like you have a good perspective on not pursuing anything serious for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 07:21 PM
3

It is not your responsibility to heal someone else. Sure, help them but in the end they need to do it. She needs to want it not just in word, but in immediate action. Personally, I see an emotional affair for a woman, the same as a physical affair for a man. She needs to figure out her own happy, not you. And you do deserve to be wanted. Her comment about, “she just needs space to feel human again.” Absolutely reeks of taking some time for her to secure the next branch to swing to. Or at the lea…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:27 PM
2

Be sure to ask in the final decree that you get back the lost parenting time. My ex has kept some of my kids from me in the past from anywhere from two days up to a week under false pretenses. I was able to get back about 85% of that time just buy including the request in the final decree and specifying the dates and times.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 10:18 PM
21

Why are you letting her tell you that some guy finger-banged her while she jerked him off? As soon as her conversation turned, it would be best if you had been heading for the door. If she tries to share with you again then I would start treating her like the slut she is. I got wind of my Ex doing some stuff before we were actually divorced. I was able to get some voicemails (it was actually an extra phone I had. I had let her use it for awhile, she was supposed to get her own phone) from a coup…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 10:23 AM
2

“ it feels like it’s too late to finally changed.” It is never too late to change. For yourself. Given what you’ve shared here I would say that it is too late to change for her. Because really, why should she trust you plus given the fact that you say she has BPD… oof. You really need to focus on yourself. Get the alcohol under control and stop it. It is going to be extremely hard but that is the first step you need to take to start healing yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 01:48 PM
3

Yes, I never understood my Ex's thought pattern... She would argue and fight with me over the most inconsequential things and then a couple of hours later would act minimally flirty with me in an attempt to have "make up" sex. And then when I was not interested because I was still thinking of all the verbal attacks I just dealt with from her, she would then start berating me again when I didn't want to immediately have sex with her. But then she could say, "See I TRIED to have sex with you, but …
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 08:44 PM
3

Yeah, that does sound like a weird set up. My experiences have all been very much worth the money. I have even been able to check a few things off of my sex bucket list. Mexico, England, Canada and the United States… various services offered, various prices but they have all been worth it. Personally, I get deep massages along with their other services. So I get the tension and knots mashed out of my body as well. I am willing to bet that all the money I have spent on these women is less then wh…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 01:18 PM
13

“You can’t make the heart stop wanting what it wants.” Uh, yeah you can. She isn’t yours, it was just your turn. If she cheated on you, then she is for the streets.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 11:39 PM
9

This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 02:40 AM
1

Sounds like a pretty suck relationship. I would delete the pics. In my case, I deleted or tossed all of the pictures of just us. In fact, today I just came across a couple print photos, going through some boxes in the basement of she and I. I tossed them. ​ I did save a couple of family photos of both of us with all of our kids. In case the kids want them someday. I also kept a few pictures of her, in case the kids want them someday. ​ But the rest are tossed.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 05:08 AM
1

I do, just one…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 02:16 AM
8

Please have some respect for yourself. By you continuing to communicate with her, you are coming across as very weak. I know it might not feel like it but you can move on from her. You should spend some time investing in yourself, healing, lifting weights, getting involved in your hobbies again, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 12:22 PM
3

Personally, I would use this time to have consultations with a few other lawyers that are ranked highly, in your area. But other than that, yes I would wait until I was served before actually putting the retainer down.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 09:52 PM
11

Extremely suspicious. What does she mean nothing happened? How does she explain any of that, what were her reasons she would send a SOS text to a friend because she was with another guy at a bar, while she was out of town. Dude... you know the answer to this. Ask yourself, do you want to invest the rest of your life into someone that will do something like that in the first year of your marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 05:44 AM
3

Yes. When we were married, trips to the doctor ($20 co-pays), for minor things. After moving and losing our (her) favorite kid's doctor she started taking them to Urgent Care. For sore throats and colds ($50 co-pay). Trips to the ER were not uncommon ($150 co-pays). Taking kids to out-of-network doctors (way more than normal co-pay, usually lots of money) because this or that friend of her's told her the doctor was good, etc. Once we divorced, she kept it up and would use my not wanting the kids…
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 05:40 AM
2

Once a cheater always a cheater.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 11:56 PM
3

Man, I really hope you have a recording device on you at all times and cameras in your house. I feel that her pivoting like this might mean she is willing to go to further lengths to get more money from you. Filing a false domestic violence claim, false sexual abuse claim, etc. Be very careful, please.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 11:54 PM
3

Pay the alimony. That is only one variable, the $ to the alimony. The house is many variables, taxes, upkeep, knowing the other guy or guys are in your house with your wife now. Sell the house. Pay the alimony. Do not try to be "nice" because you feel guilty.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 11:43 PM
5

Dude, get rid of the house and go someplace new. Where people haven't seen you assault your wife. You can take that multi-million dollar sale to buy yourself another multi-million dollar house in another fancy neighborhood. Also, what the guy up above said, tell her if she had not cheated you would have helped her with the house. She chose to disrespect you, she can have her fair share of the proceeds from the sale of the house. Buuuuuut if you go to prison, she will lose the house for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 11:41 PM
2

No.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 06:19 PM
16

Then tell her no, she can’t come. And if you are both still in the house, then tell your kids on the down low that you are taking them out for ice cream so she doesn’t need to find out . This will help keep her from trying to inject herself into your time with the kids
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 03:28 AM
4

Man that is great for you to get that reassurance!
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 03:32 AM
7

That is so funny (sad), mine quoted some of what I said back to me as well, for a couple months after. I didn’t really care about that and laughed out loud once… which just made things worse (Reminder to self: Gray Rock, Gray Rock, Gray Rock). But it is like our Ex’s read from the same BPD playbook. I DID care when she shared what I said to her, to some of our older kids. Ugh! I was asked about it by one of them so had to have a serious but vague conversation. In the end I think it ended as well…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 02:27 AM
23

I wouldn’t say she came crawling back but before the actual divorce was finalized she tried to “reminisce about the good times and maybe we could… ?” type of conversation with me. She had been the one that threatened divorced every other month over the past 15 years and was the one that filed. (She is undiagnosed BPD). Once she left, my life got 100% more peaceful. No way in the world would I ever let her back into it. I shot that idea down so hard to her. I think she was taken a bit back by how…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 10:26 PM
5

Not to rub salt in your wounds, but the reason she was "in heat" and trying to get you to have sex with her was because she already had sex with someone else, while you were gone. If she got pregnant by the other guy she could say it was yours. Get tested for STDs.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 09:09 AM
4

This is exactly the reason they do this.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 09:08 AM
17

Man, I’m sorry. You need to get a lawyer. Seriously. Get. A. Lawyer. Your marriage and relationship are over. She has shown how much she values you and your preference, zero.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 05:59 PM
5

Lol, she was hanging out with him. Sorry man, you are not wanting to hear the truth. I would never trust her again. Get a lawyer and move on. If you don’t you will regret it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 02:49 PM
4

Please include a stipulation that if you were to lose your insurance (Eg, you lose your job), for any reason, she would also be required to provide some insurance or help to pay for the cost of insurance either from her employer or from the marketplace. So you would not be on the hook legally to provide 100% of the insurance when you would be unemployed. I am dealing with that situation now. I was laid off, and my Ex is employed and could get insurance but refuses. I have even offered to pay the…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 04:22 PM
1

Maybe. Maybe it would allow you to be the father and husband you’ve always wanted to be. Or maybe not. Not to be harsh but something to consider… there is no guarantee that your 2nd marriage will go better than your first (Statistically speaking, it won’t). Or that your relationship with kid or kids from your 2nd marriage would go better than with your current kids. I mean, you can set in your heart and commit to doing better the second time around but all of it is not fully in your control. I c…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 08:42 PM
2

No.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 05:08 PM
3

If she looks and sounds too good to be true then she probably is a fake profile. It is a numbers game but in Las Vegas I think you should have a bit more luck than other non-tourist places. Women come to Vegas for their One Night Stands. Do NOT take any first dates out for dinner. If you both can banter and you are upfront but tactful about what you are looking for that helps. Then offer to buy the first round of drinks and she can buy the second round if you both agree that the chemistry matche…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 04:25 AM
5

That’s funny.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 12:56 AM
2

Fortunately I have them today. I bought each of my kids and myself one of those small heart shaped samplers of chocolates, with about 6-8 pieces of chocolate in them. I also bought them a few other little pieces of novelty Valentine’s Day Candy. Funnily enough all the candy was already 25% yesterday when I bought it. I also made them each a little hand made card w a cute picture I drew them and an individual message to them. If it is warm enough this afternoon we will go on a bike ride and then …
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 01:31 PM
4

No.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 08:07 PM
1

Well ok, but I charge $150 for 30 minutes or $200 for an hour.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 02:13 PM
4

My man, you are deluding yourself if you truly believe this is why she wants sexual abuse, on record. What, are going to be required to enter it on your Tinder profile? You need to fight that with everything you have. Get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 10:39 PM
1

Get a digital audio recording device and have it on you at all times, recording when she is around you. Seriously consider getting some cameras to record in and/or around the house. Tell her it is for security. Back them up to the cloud. I wouldn’t trust her going forward.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 12:17 AM
4

Man, I am sure you are feeling conflicted about all of this. I am sorry you are going through this. Especially as you shared how much your son means to you. Based on that push for minimum 50/50 custody, if not more. Get a lawyer, some lawyers will offer a free 30 minute consult before you have to put money down. Interview a few of them, asking them questions specific to your situation. As for your current wife, she has shown that she is not loyal to you, you need to prioritize yourself and your …
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 09:10 AM
1

He needs to get a lawyer. Also, hopefully along with telling him that you can also help him to adjust his thinking about making the same mistake twice (getting married again).
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 01:16 PM
16

Personally, I would want to know, I would want to be told. As kindly, calmly and factually as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 07:42 PM
3

My Ex “had” to buy new furniture, I made her do it, she told me. Wha??? I told her she could have taken half of the stuff we had but she chose not to. Your choice, I didn’t make you buy anything. She was adamant I made her buy it. Whatever lady.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 04:06 AM
2

Now I am interested in what her attorney wants. 😂 But I would let your lawyer friend handle it and let him update you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 04:03 AM
15

Bro, I am sorry you are going through this. I can feel the pain you are dealing with and going through. Based on just your gut feeling, I would put odds on that she cheated. I say that after having talked to so many guys that had “hints” or a “gut feeling” and they were later to be confirmed as truth. I am sorry for your kids as well, that she is using them like this. But you need to take the long-term approach to this. Don’t win one battle just to lose the war. For the foreseeable future you’ve…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 01:08 AM
6

Mine threw her’s at me in dramatic fashion. I picked it up later and put it on the counter back out of the way. I wish I had put it in my gun safe so I could have pawned / sold it. She ended up coming back a couple days later to the house and taking it along with a whole bunch of other stuff (of which a lot which was NOT her’s) while I was at work. It is “funny” as a few of my kids have brought me back things from her place that were actually mine. They either just gave them to me without saying…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 01:22 AM
5

Do I have to interview lawyers again and give up another retainer? Yes. This is what I had to do. Similar situation as you w/ similar Ex. It truly sucks. I've put down the retainer for an issue I really thought I was going to need the new lawyer for but I was able to spend about 4-5 hours on my own prepping and replying to a couple of her lawyer's letters. Since then radio silence from her lawyer, that was about five months ago. Although the Ex still sends me multiple emails and texts per week t…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 04:55 AM
5

I was young and naive, yes she pushed hard for marriage. Funny thing is, after 17 years of marriage and then divorce, she pushed her new boyfriend to get married quickly too. I think it was her 3rd or 4th boyfriend she went through in about four months. She introduced him to the kids a few months after the divorce, then a couple months later the kids came home talking about mom getting married soon to the new guy. Logistically though that wasn’t going to work out for various reasons. I think the…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 08:05 AM
2

Could use use part of your 401k, if you have one, to buy her out?
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 04:37 PM
10

If you keep accepting and covering for her being a shit mom / Ex, why should she stop?
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 03:21 PM
6

Check state laws about you recording or having cameras running. And you are correct, unless you are in physical danger do NOT move out. Who says you must enter therapy with her? Your lawyer? A judge? Your soon to be Ex? You don’t need to “must do” nothing unless the judge is ordering it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 03:13 AM
4

Yes, record everything you legally can. Check your state laws. Do NOT move out.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 03:10 AM
11

Dude, you deserve all the bad stuff that is coming if you pursue this. Sorry but if this is serious and not a troll you are a full on idiot.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 06:55 PM
15

Unless they are doing drugs in front of the child or outright abusing the child, nope will most likely not impact.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 01:27 PM
9

I am sorry you are going through all of this man. I know how it hurts when the woman you dedicated your life tell you she does t want to have sex with you. Unless it is to make a baby. She only wants the baby, not you. That being said… DO. NOT. HAVE. A. BABY. WITH. THIS. WOMAN! I repeat, DO NOT HAVE A BABY WITH THIS WOMAN! One more time, if I wasn’t clear, DO NOT HAVE BABY WITH THIS WOMAN! I am serious, go to a prostitute, escort, Asian massage place if you MUST get your rocks off. Or just jerk …
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 06:56 AM
2

And a Richmond Order is what?
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 07:13 PM
12

I am sorry man, your wife is gone. Replaced by someone that will hurt you with the least provocation. When it serves her purpose. You have to start mentally moving on. She has already, as well as physically from the sounds of it. She also sounds a bit mentally unstable. You might want to check out /BPDlovedones. That sub really helped me identify my Ex land recover from the crap I went through. I know you are in pain now, but if you are consistent you can recover. Here is what I did and highly r…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 11:30 PM
24

Make sure you have a dash cam that is recording and record with your phone as well during drop off and pick up times.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 04:00 PM
2

Glad you found it helpful. I think consistently doing the things I mentioned, as you mentioned, will help you progress. Just keep doing something from that list, at least one a day. For books, mainly those I already mentioned. Several of those were life-altering for me. I’m reading others but they don’t have to do w divorce specifically. I did just start reading Raising Resilient Children, with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent. I also have on my To Read List: - CoParenting w a Toxic Ex - Adul…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 02:52 PM
3

If you haven’t found it, check out /BPDLovedones. I found it very helpful in my recovery and healing from my relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 02:38 PM
8

I am sorry to hear you are going through this right now. Whatever you do, do not give that ring back. Put it in a safe place, you will need it to help pay for legal or your own place. If I were you I would work on getting out of there or telling the soon to be Ex to get her own place. Whichever works for you the easiest. Focus on yourself and your boys. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basic…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 01:53 PM
5

It’s sometimes the little annoying things like this that turn out to be blessings or at least positives in your and their lives. When my older ones were younger, one of mine actually told me they loved falling asleep at my house. Because they knew I was going to wake them up nicely and gently, rub their back, stroke their hair and let them take a couple minutes to wake up. They and the other kids have mentioned that waking up at their mom’s is like a fire alarm going off. A lot of hollering and …
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 01:29 AM
1

I work out, I meditate, or call someone from my support network and vent for a little bit. One of those and usually I do the last to first, in that order.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 12:52 PM
2

I really think the working out is a huge part of all of this. Expend so much energy lifting heavy things or running / biking fast / far, it releases the good brain stuff and you forget the crap you are going through. At least for a little while.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 01:36 AM
11

Get your therapist to basically write a recommendation for you. The current status of your therapy and progress you have made. If your texts are from years ago, and your Ex ends up using them in court, be sure to point out how old they are and how much work you have done on yourself and improvements you have made. Of course confirm this all with your lawyer as well. Good luck man!
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 09:25 PM
9

From the pdf… use this link to get an 80% discount on the Get Some Ass Masterclass. 🤨 No thanks. Personally I prefer my free method. It isn’t immediate but I’ve found it to be pretty effective and have received positive feedback from others here. I would give it at least 6-12 months to do it right. And this is for your whole self, not just bagging hawt chicks. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just th…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 08:44 PM
4

Wow, that is awesome! The guy (also divorced) that did my home appraisal post divorce said to me, “Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it.”
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 05:24 AM
7

That sounds awesome and if it went the best possible way for you. That is awesome! I hope things continue on and your soon to be Ex Doesn’t change her mind last minute. Do you have any concerns about that? Hang in there man, you are almost through the thick of it!
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 03:47 AM
2

Unfortunately, it is probably better to ask how you will NOT be attacked. It all depends on how your STBXW chooses to handle things. So far, it is not looking good with her asking for full custody. Have you asked her why? Accusations of abuse (verbal, emotional, financial, physical, sexual) of her or the kids are probably the biggest issues you could face. Depending on your state, you will have to look up these laws, secretly audio record everything when you are around her. If you can install ca…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 03:26 AM
6

Wisdom and discernment.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 02:25 AM
0

Do you have close family or even better can you get a therapist? Therapist would be the better of the two options. Since it sounds as if you are at the start of your journey man, I feel for you and I am sorry to hear it. But I will go ahead and share this. I share it with a lot of guys just starting out and many have found it helpful. I hope you can use something from it. Even if you actually haven’t started the divorce process many of these suggestions will help you mentally, physically and emo…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 07:03 PM
3

Glad you have a similar job man! Oddly enough, mine has now started talking about moving a few towns over. To a “better” (more expensive town). So that means she will need to work more to make more money and have even less time with the kids. The town we live in now is fine, mainly blue collar but not her ideal. So I give it 6-12 months until she makes the move and then tries to force a school change. Which thankfully is not likely to happen as our town’s school system was specifically named in …
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 07:12 AM
5

It is also the right one. I dealt w similar issues. I helped out once and then was asked again to help out. I realized it would never stop and I was already paying a large amount monthly. I set the boundary then, kids are with me I pay for them, when they are with you, you pay. I told her, “If you can’t afford to pay, call me I will pick them up so you don’t have to pay.” For the last 2 years she has never called me once to pick up the kids. She would rather pay then let them be with me any extr…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 05:28 AM
5

Fortunately my lawyer was kind enough to put me on a payment plan. I worked on payments for close to 2 years. I was then able to pay the last few thousand off due to a bonus from work and a generous gift from a family member. I also got a part-time job that I held for almost 2 years to help put towards legal and other debt. I consider myself very fortunate.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 06:08 PM
19

Sadly enough, this is the answer.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 08:22 PM
4

Yeah, this one right here. Sooo frustrating. Except it was a new position in same company but much higher profile position and crazy workload. I told her this before I applied, she said apply anyways, I understand and will make it work at home. Overall it was worth it for the income and additional promotions. But her coming back 5 months later saying, “You are never home anymore!” Just ugh!
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 05:02 PM
12

Look up Sunk Cost Fallacy. Also, I don’t like the fact that she strung you along playing w your emotions during this separation while she made up her mind. 🙄 Also I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I know it is tough man. But you can make it through this. Advice when faced with divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight …
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/22 05:34 PM
2

Assume the worst and you probably won’t be that far off from it. Then start your own journey.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/22 02:51 PM
3

Niiiiiiice!
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 03:02 AM
2

Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 07:16 PM
1

Could you share your source(s) please?
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 06:24 PM
3

But with hard consistent work one CAN get rid of the “Nice Guy”. The book No More Mr. Nice Guy is an awesome primer.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 11:38 PM
2

Similar, except mine is the “I’m a strong independent single momma that don’t need your money!” Yet ever since the divorce she complains constantly about not having enough money, that I don’t pay enough in child support (I’ve never been late and pay over $1400 a month, for 2 kids) and how I have it SO easy because she didn’t make me pay alimony. I just ignore her and am thankful she made that choice.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 01:17 PM
24

Also take into account her possibly escalating things, such as false accusations of domestic violence, etc as that should be part of the analysis.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 04:24 PM
1

It isn’t always about “despising one’s Ex”, it could honestly be a trust issue. My Ex makes some surprisingly poor choices with money and budgeting. In addition to getting the kid’s involved in XYZ activities that require large outlays of money and then she pulls them out after a month or two because, reasons. I just really do not trust her when it comes to finances. Find someone your trust, talk to them and shares your desire(s) for your kids, grant them conservatorship over the trust.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 03:37 PM
2

I wish you the best of luck man, focus on yourself, making yourself a better man for you. A better dad for your kids. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 10:17 PM
3

“Mother of your children”, communication should be limited to things directly related to the children only then. It is sad you can see this is causing him pain and you think that is alright and he should continue doing that.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 12:46 PM
1

If you reconnect with her then be prepared eventually for more heartache. Maybe not right away but eventually. She is down, she wants your validation and support. You said yourself the divorce wrecked you and you are now dreaming about her. Personally I think communicating with her is a bad idea and will just cause you further pain. “Mother of your children”, then keep communication directly related to that only. Attending a wedding or funeral doesn’t require you to have some deep meaningful rel…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 12:37 PM
12

You mean, is there anything you should ask YOUR LAWYER? This is a lawyer question. Ask your lawyer. I had to deal with Quit Claim, I sort of had an idea what to do as I dealt with one in the past. I still asked my lawyer exactly what to do to make sure I did it by the book, so there wouldn’t be any worry later down the road. Also, stop worry about being nice and kind. You don’t have to be an asshole. It you need to put yourself first and protect yourself in a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 04:44 AM
2

!remindme 2 days
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 06:05 PM
2

https://chat.whatsapp.com/EzvkrF1pqejLbsQ9YEA7dv I enjoyed it for a while but it just got too busy for me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/22 03:48 AM
6

How can you figure it out? Ask her out, with a date and time and maybe a backup date and time. She says, yes. There is your sign. She says no, to both and doesn’t suggest another date and time, well there is your sign as well.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 05:07 AM
1

What goals do you have? What are you doing as a man to improve yourself? What bucket list items have you set and/or checked off? What meet-up groups have you gotten involved with? Do you plan any fun outings or interesting places to go to lunch/dinner with your girl, when she is with you? I am not saying to replace her friends or that you both will be besties. But maybe finding a new or unique restaurant or the latest Bubble Tea shop and telling her you are going, and asking her if she wants to …
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 01:52 AM
6

If it is her time w the kids, she can designate who picks the kids up.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 03:33 PM
11

Oh man, I am sorry to hear this and that you are going through this. As you said though, no kids and you are able to walk away most intact financially. I am happy for you. That is great you are already thinking about therapy. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and are squared away. The healing will take time. Don’t rush the trusting part, take your time. I’ve shared this in the past, and most guys seem to be able to take a few things from it. Hopefully it will help you too. Ad…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 02:57 AM
2

No. I chose to wait a year before starting to even date again. To each their own but I wouldn’t be surprised if you might have issues being by yourself for awhile. Have you spent any time figuring out what part you played in the first D? Learn from your mistakes or you will be bound to repeat them.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 06:57 PM
5

One of my goals is to travel. Alone. I am guaranteed to not have to worry about making / keeping someone else happy, I can keep or change my schedule to whatever I want, I can decide to hike another 3 miles because I am feeling good or I can stay in the tent or hotel bed another hour or three. When I am out alone eating I may or may not watch families. Depends if I am reading or flirting with a waitress. Also I sometimes do watch families… be completely frazzled and frustrated with each other. W…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/22 07:17 PM
17

Screw me once shame on you. Screw me twice shame on me for not learning from your past bad behavior. Learn from your mistake and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 07:31 PM
33

No. Absolutely not. I see multiple red flags. In fact, if I were you I would break with her.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 02:51 AM
1

Good suggestion. Share this spreadsheet with your lawyer OP. And tell them this is what you would like to have happen.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 02:09 PM
2

Do you have a lawyer? As I said before, if they are any good they will ask you for this type of info and walk you through the various potential outcomes. Yes. Everything is negotiable. Default to wanting or asking for more so you can negotiate away things that do not matter as much to you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 02:07 PM
1

Everything is negotiable in a divorce. Doesn’t mean you will get what you want or even what you “should” get but it can be negotiated. Bring these things up to your lawyer and if they are any good they will tell you how they can incorporate all of assets into the negotiations and the potential outcomes.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 01:05 PM
2

DO NOT SIGN!!! She could very easily get you started paying car payments and then cry to the state for child support and you would, most likely, be on the hook for it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 01:34 PM
-6

When you go into a den of wolves, expect to be bite. If not aggressively licked. You would be mad at a wolf for acting like a wolf? Naw man, instead be a bit frustrated at your little sheep expecting wolves to not act like wolves. Or that a sheep dog was laying about at home not doing sheep dog stuff, “resting up” for church. (Church, so strenuous!).
/r/RPChristians15/05/22 01:57 AM
-4

When you go into a den of wolves, expect to be bite. If not aggressively licked. You would be mad at a wolf for acting like a wolf? Naw man, instead be a bit frustrated at your little sheep expecting a wolf to not act like a wolf. Or that a sheep dog was laying about at home not doing sheep dog stuff, “resting up” for church. (Church, so strenuous!).
/r/RPChristians15/05/22 01:55 AM
1

His past behavior that you alluded to.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 08:00 PM
6

I don’t know. Lol. Find a therapist, talk to them. Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 06:05 PM
5

Probably trying to show son how to treat mom? Better late than never? Based on past behavior I wouldn’t put a lot of trust in it but accept it for what it is and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 05:55 PM
4

Only agree to give up any of your time if she provides you in writing that you get make up time. Try to get your make up time in advance, before she takes her extra time.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 06:05 PM
12

"Going on vacation"... I am sorry I am jaded, but part of me immediately thinks she had sex with someone else while on vacation. File, get it over with, she is being manipulative and holds the power in deciding "only if you work hard enough for me, then will I not divorce you."
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 02:50 PM
9

You are showing your kids how one person allows themselves to be treated. As things were winding down for my ex and myself my gifts also wound down in effort and cost. But from a kid’s perspective they still would’ve seen the effort. Have you already filed? If you have or if the Ex knows you are filing then her behavior is expected.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 07:38 PM
13

You have already received some great advice here. This would be my advice… Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and high-intensity cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence.…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 02:09 AM
1

Good to hear man! Even on the days it doesn’t seem to be working, the gym, stoicism, focusing on yourself keep keeping at it. The journey towards healing has its up and downs but over time it seems for most guys it improves, given enough time and consistency.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 05:23 PM
1

Don’t take it to heart, she is just saying it to hurt you, blame you and not accept any responsibility herself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 03:37 PM
13

Ignore it. (She is a cheater, that has and possibly will again use her flirting to have sex with someone that isn’t her husband). The fact that you are making jokes with her shows that you don’t respect yourself. That you think it is a joke that she cheated on you. Focus on yourself and making yourself the best man you can be. Has she apologized and gone through the steps they talk about in the /survivinginfidelity sub? Is she acting totally trustworthy? Why haven’t you filed yet?
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 05:36 AM
8

My Ex had a horrible relationship with her monster of a father. A wonderful awesome relationship with her mother. I heard lots of horror stories about her father. I believed them. Turns out they weren’t all true, turns out a lot of information was left out by my Ex and her mom. Her dad wasn’t the best guy I am sure but was also not pure evil as they played him out to be. Turns out my Ex was basically enmeshed with her mom. Also turns out Ex and her mom now say I am the evil horrible monster. 🤷🏾
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 01:49 PM
5

It is common. Very very common. I don’t understand why you are talking to her though, listening to her tell about her sexcapdes. You need to focus on your kids and yourself. How to protect your kids? Be the best dad you can be. Be there for them. They may not talk to you about everything but let them know you are available and love them. Also work on yourself. Let them see how someone can go through divorce, come out better and not turn into a slut w multiple STDs. Take some time off before dati…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 04:49 AM
2

Check out the /ParentalAlienation sub.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 03:19 PM
10

Stop giving her money that she is obviously NOT spending on things the kids need. Like a place to live. Can you get full custody? Either way, get a lawyer. I hope you kept good records for all that free money you gave her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 05:02 AM
5

Good you are becoming self-aware. Get to therapy and seriously work on it. Work in making small consistent improvements in yourself and your relationship every day. It takes awhile to change a learned lifetime of bad behavior. Give yourself time but don’t slack off. As you said you don’t know how much more she can take.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/22 07:20 PM
5

Use a budgeting app, create a budget and follow it. Know where your money is being spent. Give every dollar a job. Pay off debt and save towards retirement. Budgeting apps: Mint YNAB (You Need A Budget)
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 05:28 PM
14

I would make this change. Your marriage certificate is not a proof of LOYALTY. “Ownership” implies something negative, like slavery or neutral, like property. You get married in part due to loyalty, not any sort of ownership. I mean, even slaves ran away.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/22 05:09 AM
1

Check out the vanlife subreddit and there are a few other subs that will give you good info on the pros and cons.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/22 10:36 PM
3

Good for you man! Glad to hear when a guy is able to win against the lies.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 06:13 AM
1

No. To be blunt, you’ve not been dating long enough and her kid is a huge red flag.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 08:43 PM
2

Yeah. Never mind all the other people going in and out of the court and how they are dressed down most times. My first court date I wore dress slacks, button down and tie. The rest of them I just wore dress pants or khakis and button down.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 01:40 PM
12

You don’t want any of those ever again or just right now? The no hobby hobbies; meditation, stoicism, yoga, hiking. In that order (there may be some others that are no cost and focus fully on more internal improvement). If you don’t want friends, then don’t get friends. Stick around here or maybe another divorce forum for men. There is a WhatsApp group and maybe a discord somewhere too. We will be your internet friends! If you really NEED a girl in your life, but don’t want the BS, then pay for …
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 02:55 AM
7

Unless I meet a unicorn, which I won’t, I am not getting married again. I will date for sure and possibly be in a relationship with a woman but not married. I am very upfront about this with the women I talk to. I also will long term vet before a relationship as well. A year minimum before “relationship status”. I’ve adjusted my mindset from what it was (probably a similar background as yours) but also do work on my trust issues. But marriage isn’t only about trust between two people. It is also…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 03:17 PM
21

Lol, “dick tation”!! Bro, that has me rolling!
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 05:36 AM
2

Just joined. Good stuff man, thanks for hosting and sharing this. I’ve already been involved in some good conversation in the WA group. This is a message for the other guys that have gone through divorce, and somewhat or completely figured things out. I encourage you to give something back. Whether here on Reddit or in a WhatsApp group like this.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 02:53 PM
4

You might also want to check out the BPD sub, /BPDlovedones. They are a good supportive bunch and will be able to give you useful feedback.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 08:29 PM
1

Not 100% guaranteed. I've read stories of guys that have done that and then had to deal with the girl changing her mind, unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 02:55 AM
3

What? NO! NONONONO!!! What in the actual fuck, NOOOOOO!!! You NEVER call the police and tell them you want to kill yourself. Dude, NO! Because that is who will come, the police. Maybe you will get lucky and get some nice, empathetic ones. But personally, for me, I wouldn't take that gamble. Call the Suicide Hotline. Call the therapist that you should already be working with. Post something here or in one of the mental health or suicide sub-reddits. Call a family member or friend. I've seen and r…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 01:57 AM
2

Good stuff OP, pay attention and do this.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 03:41 PM
9

Sounds interesting, maybe even promising…. But I am not attracted to mice. You would still need to get regular sperm tests and keep those records to prove infertility. Due to a woman possibly blaming you for getting her pregnant.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 02:41 AM
14

Date? Sure. Longer-term relationship? Ok but only if they don’t show red flags, meet my checklists, etc. Married? Nope.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 05:51 PM
2

Reign Orange Creamsicle, good stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 03:30 AM
1

Payment for extra-curricular activities can / should be set in the custody order. You can ask that they be split 50/50. Also, you can try to guilt your Ex into paying. That works for me every once in a while. It gets into slinging mud but basically calling her out and a bit more about not paying, she doesn’t care, she is proving she doesn't love her child, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 03:29 AM
3

Switch from the green stuff to the low or no sugar stuff. I did that and made some other changes and dropped some serious weight. I use to drink 2-4 Monsters a day, green full sugar. Bad stuff man. Having 1 a day of the no sugar kind is sustainable, not the green kind.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 11:18 PM
2

Naw, I’m good.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/22 10:31 PM
10

Appears you might not have learned anything from your first marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 12:07 AM
12

DO NOT MENTION IT! Do not mention you are thinking of separation or divorce to anyone. Make your decision in silence, sure talk and get input here but not to your wife or her family, and then act. DO NOT broadcast your intent.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/22 06:37 PM
2

Good to hear you are doing better man, it takes time but you will get there. Her mom has proven herself. You can’t make something happen for two people. She (Ex) has to want it and act (properly) on it herself. She is obviously more interested in hurting you and doesn’t have your daughters well-being in mind. Get the legal ball rolling, it will be tough but will be worth it to set boundaries and move forward on your terms, having proper custody of your daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/22 02:51 AM
16

Dude, seriously??? Your Ex is playing “maybe accuse you of sexual abuse, rape” and you are playing “hmmm, let’s wait and see… maybe we can work it out.” Yeah, that is gonna work out for you soooo well! /sarcasm Never mind your Ex has physically and verbally abuse you in front of your child. Just, wow. Get a lawyer. Listen to mom, listen to probably all or most of us. Get a frickin’ lawyer now!
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/22 02:37 AM
5

Do you have a lawyer? If not, get one, yesterday. If you didn’t co-mingle accounts and the house was yours before marriage there is a good chance she can’t touch it. Buuuut, talk to multiple lawyers. Use the free consultations they offer. Hire one. Spending a few thousand now is better then losing the $100k she wants. Also, don’t leave your house. It is really good she ended up leaving on her own and didn’t just decide to stay there. That could have put you in a really bad spot. Marriage was sho…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 02:51 AM
2

Sounds like you are making good progress in a few areas. What are you doing to work on yourself, mentally and relationally? How much insight have you gained into what part you played in your divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 02:00 PM
5

I am really glad it is going well for you! ​ ... so far. Seriously though, I hope everything works out well for you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 05:39 AM
17

Stop immediately trying to get with another girl, would be MY first order of business. Focus on yourself for a while. Not Live, Laugh, Love... but work on your physical, mental, financial, spiritual self for a while. Focus on your hobbies, do some self-improvement, work on checking off a couple of things on your bucket list (that don't involve a girl or girls, hold off on that threesome). Please stop with the "took it as a 'sign'", this is not Disney, there is no "THE ONE." If you do eventually …
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 04:14 AM
3

Check out the Parental Alienation subreddit.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/22 04:40 AM
1

Why? What’s your reasoning? You will lose out on the last credit history of the now paid off account. Who’s name is the actual account under?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/22 08:34 PM
12

No, to her demands. Get a lawyer. Again, absolutely no to her demands.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 01:46 AM
10

Naw you good man. She tryin’ to scam you because she is entitled.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 08:52 PM
6

Yeah, this isn’t normal. My man needs to move on completely.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 07:39 PM
2

Regardless of what is going on, if you aren’t already, it would be a very good idea to be setting aside the exact amount you would be paying her, into a savings account. If/when things kick into gear, it would suck to be hit with arrears and not be prepared.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 07:00 PM
3

Her reasons are nothing but bullshit. Whatever makes her feel good and appear in the best light while putting all the blame on you. Typical cheating Ex behavior. Do not put any stock into her “reasons”. By your own admission, you are stuck. Still focused on her. While I know it isn’t easy, you need to focus on YOU. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t h…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 06:51 PM
9

I still put it down when I poop…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 05:45 PM
3

It wouldn’t have mattered. You could have been a WHOLE FUCK TON better and she would still have been a slut. Learn to vet women better and you can reduce your risk some. Even better change your expectations n regard to what women can bring into your life and your life will get better. And even more so than all of that, do things now that build YOU up, for you. Accomplish things big or small that help build your confidence back into you. Lastly, learn to forgive yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/22 09:29 PM
6

Sounds like she is expecting to get you to pay for her house, either directly or through spousal support possibly.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/22 01:57 AM
1

No, as long as there are good relationships between the kids and your folks. Times like that can actually be really memorable, later on, for kids. Just curious, did she buy you out of your half of the house?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/22 01:53 AM
2

“Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.” Luke‬ ‭2:52‬ Academically/mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally/relationally. ‭‭
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 05:00 AM
2

Even without a court order, she needs to be sending you actual receipts or clear readable pictures of receipts with all necessary info on them. And then you decide if you are paying for all that extra stuff or not. Really, she needs to run the extra stuff by you first if she wants to get reimbursed. If it isn’t covered by a court order.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 10:35 PM
10

I am really fortunate, as my Ex, “Is a strong independent woman that don’t need no man!!” (Buuuuut, she promptly got a BF 3 weeks after the divorce. Actually I think she had him before the divorce was final. But anyways…). I pay $0 in alimony. She reminds me probably every 2 months how she could have ruined me even more financially if she went after alimony. Although for a several years she made equal or more then I did. So I am not sure how much I could have been in for if she had pushed for al…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 03:01 AM
3

Just as long as you are taking some action on it as well. ;) ​ And glad to hear you find it helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/22 01:03 AM
9

I am always interested in self-improvement. While I do enjoy taking a night or a few off and just relaxing and not doing anything too serious, most of the time I like to focus on goals that I have set for myself, short term and long term. It seems that when I don’t have goals and I end up just being aimless. Which again is fine for a few days or even a week but pass that the weeks turn into months and those turn into years and soon you look back and see that you’ve not accomplished very much wit…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 05:22 PM
12

Congrats! It sounds as if you are in a good mindset. 😁 Since I am always interested in self-improvement I used this as a template during and after my divorce. Best of luck to you man! Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and high-intensity cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, whic…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 04:03 PM
9

Unless your Ex is actively stalking you on Reddit and knows your writing style and you are very specific in your details… the chances that your Ex finds you on here are slim to none if you follow good OpSec, use a throwaway, change your info (4 kids instead of 2 or 3 kids instead of 5. You were married 22 years instead of 18 or 5 years instead of 7. You live in Georgia instead of Florida, etc). Actually, if you do the above I would say there is less than a .01% chance your Ex can positively find…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 07:17 PM
7

Absolutely against taking this sub private. If you don’t want your Ex to find you, use a throwaway and use vague info when sharing your stories. That is what I have done.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 06:28 PM
7

NMMNG is a great book and I found it very helpful. I also found the following books to be helpful in my situation. • ⁠Models • ⁠The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck • ⁠Boundaries After a Pathological Relationship • ⁠The Rational Male • ⁠ Can’t Hurt Me • ⁠ Extreme Ownership • Discipline Equals Freedom
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 03:01 PM
5

It isn’t exactly the same but feel free to reach out, DM or just post here with what you’re dealing with. This is a good group of guys and they all have a lot of good wisdom to share.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 12:29 AM
2

Near… not really no. Why?
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 09:59 PM
35

I am sorry to hear you are still hurting from this man. You need to find something, for yourself, to start to put your energies and passion into. Again, for yourself, that brings you some joy or at least contentment. Also, 3 years… she ain’t coming back and you need to kill the thought of anything happening again with her. There are tens and hundreds of thousands of other women out there. This isn’t Disney, no soulmates, just people that decide to put it hard work and make their relationships wo…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 08:28 PM
2

Sorry to hear it man. You might want to check out the BPDlovedones subreddit, if you want or need to make sense of her craziness and what you dealt with during your time together. Her being Dx’d with both Bi-polar AND BPD, wow that is a lot. My Ex has BPD and that’s as bad enough. I can’t imagine two diagnoses like that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 03:52 PM
1

Appreciate the feedback. Long long story, multiple false allegations, police and CPS involved (8 times, some due to her, some due to mandatory reporters, all unfounded), a couple of the older kids starting to lie, and on and on. I’ve told them and tell them regularly (through text) that I love them and want to always have a relationship with them and them with me. But I won’t put other things in jeopardy and try to force it if they don’t want a relationship now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 11:37 PM
27

Multiple months for a couple of them, I am thinking it was around 4 months. And when I did see them it was to hand them some gifts at her front door, they took them, one mumbled "thanks", the other genuinely said "Thanks!" and that was it. 60 seconds or less. I tried to talk but one definitely wasn't interested and the other seemed to act as if he wanted to but was too nervous to. As she was standing right there. Then it was another month or so until I saw them again, for another 30-60 seconds. …
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 07:42 AM
5

Tried it 3 times. Waste of money for the “couple” part. The last one was actually sort of useful for me, but only as a newly separated man. I ended up stopping w her though and finding one of my own for awhile.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 05:13 AM
4

Yeah, heh heh… natural causes.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 03:35 AM
9

Do not waste your time or energy hating anyone. Invest that time and energy in making yourself the best person you can, for YOURSELF. Your title and the body of your post do not really match up. Do you literally hate women or are you just done with women forever / for a while? Anyways... ​ If you keep looking you will find good support in various places. You just have to be selective in where and from who you get your support. I've found it to be 99% positive and helpful here. There are a couple…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 01:22 AM
1

You want to learn and know how to live together peacefully? Or you want to learn and know how to protect yourself and thrive as a divorced man? I don’t have any suggestions if you want the first thing. If you want the second then I suggest hanging out here for the most part.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 03:13 PM
2

0 days. Since she was the one that initiated the divorce and had family in the area, I told her she could move out. Thankfully she did immediately and did not push back. My biggest concern if I moved out was that she would sell the house the kids spent a large part of their lives in, as soon as she could. I felt that consistency for the kids was important. In the end I bought her out of her half of the house. She on the other hand has moved 3 times in 3 years and is planning on moving again in t…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 07:18 PM
2

That’s a good idea to write up a list of their Pros and Cons.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 03:43 PM
5

Domestic violence accusation, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 07:23 AM
24

Check state laws, get a digital audio recorder. Have it recording whenever she is around you. Get cameras in your house. Back them up to the cloud. She either wants to SEX YOU UP because “boyfriend” is falling through. Or she wants to SET YOU UP and start a fight and/or claim domestic violence. Which means you possibly get removed from the house. She had already proven she is not your friend, so do not make the mistake of treating her like one. She can clean the house on her own without the musi…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 07:22 AM
6

It sounds as if you are doing better since the split, so that is great. Although that really sucks that the judge wouldn't adjust the custody schedule. I do want to talk about this though... > She also racked up 23,000 in credit card debt in my name which is not joint accounts so I am solely responsible and the credit card agencies consider it marital debt and not fraud (even when i could prove I was not at that location during the transaction or that it was after the legal date of divorce). You…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 05:35 AM
3

Talk with a few lawyers, use their free consultations. They will be able to inform you more specific to your case.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 12:53 AM
2

Work out, lift heavy weights, BJJ, Boxing Muay Thai all help with anger.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 03:31 AM
3

Funny, mine as well was so pissed when I dropped weight.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 11:33 PM
3

I am here to share!
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 06:12 AM
18

"The one"? What, do you live in a Disney movie? ​ Even if she is "the one" you still don't have to get married. ​ Once you invite the state/government into your life in that way, then she can decide you are NOT "the one" someday and then you would be facing what we all are facing.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 04:37 AM
22

Just don't get married and you won't, most likely.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 04:14 AM
8

Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst. Good luck man, I seriously hope the amicable split works out for you. Would be good to hear an update from you in a few weeks or months.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 05:19 AM
1

Sorry to hear about it man. Your vlog will be interesting to watch and I wish you well both on your growth and your vlog. I share this on here occasionally for guys that are just starting out or seem to be struggling, maybe you can make some use of it. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and high…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 05:06 AM
3

And? Random YT link with no description of what it is or why you want us to watch it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 02:02 AM
3

Prove to him by living your best life, that you are not grumpy or mean. 😁
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 09:58 PM
1

Man, I am sorry but no. Do not progress your relationship to marriage with a woman with this attitude about her $100k student loan debt. Do not do it! Doesn’t matter if she is right or not about the student loans, what matters is her mindset. That is wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 05:46 PM
1

Then tell your attorney that. You were the one that is paying rheir bills.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 03:06 AM
1

Older… at the time of D: 13, 12, 9, 6. If your kids are that young then do whatever works best for you financially and what you want.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 05:49 PM
2

Can you afford the house? That is the biggest question that needs to be answered. In my case, we had downsized a few years before Divorce so it worked out well. I could afford the house. I knew she would sell it if she got it, and I wanted some consistency for my kids. So I bought out her half. The financial hit did hurt a bit but I was able to use my 401k to split to help with that. Since then the house value has increased substantially, I have been able to re-fi into a lower % as well. On the …
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 04:57 PM
7

Vintage guitars, antique books, guns, rare Pokémanz cards, the hand knitted quilt your great grandma made you… these would all be things that were yours before the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/22 12:37 AM
3

Check out the Parental Alienation sub.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 05:15 AM
2

Same.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 05:14 AM
1

Troll troll troll troll
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/22 05:25 PM
14

And mouth, and ass, and…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/22 05:31 PM
1

What is mewwing? Why are you posting so many meaningless polls man? You can tell from these replies you are missing the actual process of what guys are going through and their thought process.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/22 03:17 PM
5

Dude, your polls are lame. What if you will always care for them but they are still replaceable?
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/22 07:18 AM
1

My church was smaller (200 or so on Sundays), so maybe that is why? I don’t know, I just called to ask about it and was told “women only”. 🤷🏽‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 07:45 PM
1

The church that I use to go to had it… but I was told it is only for women.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 08:45 AM
4

Believe what they do, their actions. Take their words with a grain of salt or based on last history just outright do not believe of trust them.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/22 08:18 PM
7

Who the fuck cares? Why are you spamming this to so many subreddit’s? Do you need more fodder for your tabloid?
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/22 02:49 AM
4

She is an Ex for a reason, you trying to treat her like something more is your mistake. Move on, no contact unless it is about the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 09:34 PM
5

Talk to a lawyer first. Do not tell your soon to be Ex your plans. Get your finances in order. Have a plan where you will stay if she accuses you of abuse. Depending on the laws of your state, get an audio recording device. Maybe even some hidden cameras. Focus on the kids (if you have any). Start working on yourself. Working out and focusing on your hobbies. Just a start, lots more could be included.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/21 12:44 AM
4

I got that reference.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/21 03:25 AM
10

Some of this may apply for you, some might not. Use what you can and ignore the rest. One of the most important things is to keep moving forward, do one positive thing for yourself every single day. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and high-intensity cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust …
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 08:22 PM
6

Alcohol, hookers, blow, blackjack, more hookers. ​ Seriously though... I do what I normally do. Get done the stuff I need to get done for work and around the house, lift, do BJJ, Boxing or Muay Thai. I will also typically work on writing out new goals and plans and reviewing how my year went for my previous goals.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 01:31 PM
7

Absolutely, it is meaningless and no one cares. Which is sad. Maybe OP can talk about how it would / could negatively impact the kids. We had to take a state mandated course pre-divorce about how divorce impacts our kids, things to do and not to do. One of them strongly suggested to wait minimum 9 months preferably a year before introducing any new partners. The study shared several other psych related studies on the negatives of introducing new partners to kids too soon. As well as some positiv…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 02:55 AM
1

What’s your lawyer say?
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/21 03:47 PM
2

Ooooh, that second one is awesome! I wish I had (or my lawyer, really wtf lawyer!) would have thought to have included that in the decree. That would put a huge damper on my Ex's current plans to move 2 counties over and have them move schools as well. This will be the 2nd time in 4 years.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/21 05:58 PM
3

You are good man. The first step in improving is recognizing you need to do some work. Just take it a day at a time and keep at it. You got this. And thanks for taking the time to share your story.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/21 04:26 PM
3

Ok, mate. What books do you suggest instead?
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/21 02:51 PM
13

u/Grey_Bear_40 said it well. You need to take action. Find a goal or goals to pursue. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and high-intensity cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/21 03:24 AM
6

She tazed you? Was that while you where still in bed w the other woman? Domestic violence charges maybe, a restraining order for her maybe, talk to your lawyer ASAP. You do have lawyer, right?
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/21 01:02 AM
36

Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and high-intensity cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Also more muscles, those are good t…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/21 09:22 PM
1

I totally understand. I found that being able to identify her “issues” and name them, so to speak, helped me process the 15+ that I wasted with her, along with all of the emotional and mental abuse she heaped on me. Much like you, I am doing much much better.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/21 05:01 AM
2

Some people are just assholes. She sounds like an asshole. But maybe she has BPD too. There are actual criteria to be met for someone to be diagnosed with BPD. Diagnostic criteria of borderline personality disorder A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by 5 (or more) of the following: Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Not…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/21 04:59 AM
1

So much the same thing for me! We use to live pay check to pay check most of the time even though we both had very well paying jobs. As soon as we would save a couple thousand there was “something” that she would find we HAD to spend it on. Then she would complain that we didn’t have any savings and would constantly tell me to get a better paying job. While she was hard pressed to stay at one job for more then 2 years. After the divorce and lawyer stuff, I was able to start seriously paying off …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/21 04:21 AM
5

She can show the money coming from you most likely from her own bank statements. IF IF IF I was give her anything, it would only be the related line items that show repeated payments to her. Many time bank websites allow you to search and pull specific transactions. But really, I would say this isn’t my problem.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 06:01 PM
2

With only those details, I am going to guess your soon to be Ex is a Narcissist or has BPD. I had these exact same feelings shortly before and once the divorce was finalized. Regardless, good for you, that you have been able to detach and already start to move on!! She is so obviously trying to bait you and make you jealous with the “accidental wrong account” dating app purchase. And the dropping kid off so she can take a “solo trip” to nearby city. It is awesome to see you already moving on and…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 05:55 PM
2

I don’t know for sure. But just because spouse isn’t on x paperwork doesn’t mean they couldn’t ask for and get some of the proceeds or request to be bought out. My Ex wasn’t on title, deed or mortgage, she still asked for and got a buyout from the house.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 05:47 PM
2

Probably yes. ​ If you don't want her to, complete a Quit Claim Deed. If you can get her to sign/agree to it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 05:34 PM
14

That's our job, to teach the boys and young men coming up. I don't mean blatantly or bitterly, just the real-life lessons.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/21 06:15 PM
3

Oh man, I laughed so hard I started crying. That was so awesome! I am so happy for you, your mindset, that you were able to answer that way and get that job. And of course you can roll with it, if you have a wheelchair, you can roll anywhere. 😝😂🙌🏼🙌🏼
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/21 04:23 AM
5

The only good boat (dirt bike, motorcycle, etc) is the one that your friend owns and you borrow occasionally. 😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/21 04:20 AM
0

Ok, will go get uncircumcised now. Lol!
/r/RPChristians04/12/21 02:48 AM
8

Are you in a wheelchair? If you are, that will make your first step more difficult then usual. Sorry… sometimes you have to laugh at the absurdity of it all. I am really sorry to hear you are going through this man. Call several lawyers in your area and ask if they give free consultations. Set appts, talk to them and ask about options related to divorce. How long have you been married, did she have a job, what state are you in, do you have a house or other shared property, do you have kids? Did …
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/21 07:14 AM
8

That is some good emotional maturity and realization on your part. You are making progress. And it is nice that your Ex M-I-L and you still have a relationship. My M-I-L actually lived with for us year when we were first married. We talked all of the time. A few months before my Ex filed for divorce we were over my in-laws for dinner. My M-I-L spent at least five minutes going on and on about how wonderful I was, what a romantic loving husband, involved and caring father, etc I was. She did it s…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 11:44 PM
5

BJJ, Boxing, Muay Thai, lift heavy weights, concealed carry along with IDPA or at least realistic training. If you only conceal carry and haven’t done any realistic training or shoot very often, you are potentially setting yourself up. Practice and dry fire inside the house, pointed in a safe direction w no live ammo in the room (when the kids aren’t there). Have a dash cam or other recording device handy. All that and then stay as far away as you can from her and him. If you have kids, make it …
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 01:20 AM
1

Ok, lifestyle does change. Some good, some bad. But basically the same if you stayed together and had to deal w negative crap for the next 18 years. Do I consider it worth it? 100% Absolutely.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/21 10:09 PM
1

Your OP asks about being better off after divorcing or not, your “lifestyle”. That indicates finances.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/21 09:03 PM
4

I ended up being better off financially after the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/21 11:44 PM
5

Her having an EA affects the kids, whether you / she realize it or not.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/21 11:43 PM
2

As nice as the trip would be, I would skip the trip to Europe for the time with the kids. And yeah, even if it wasn’t used against you in court it may be used by your Ex with your kids. “See kids, your dad would rather take a trip then spend time with you.” Just my take, based on personal experience.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/21 03:21 PM
1

Ok? Are you getting divorced? How do YOU feel about YOURSELF? Because that is what really matters.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/21 01:41 PM
1

Obvious shill is obvious.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/21 01:36 PM
2

That sounds like a good time. Go on…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/21 12:51 AM
56

Protect your kidneys. jk! Have fun.
/r/TheRedPill22/11/21 07:53 PM
11

Peace of mind / Tranquility: BJJ, heavy weight lifting, hiking, generally being out in nature, running, therapy, relaxing vacations. ​ So pretty much 95%+ can be had.
/r/TheRedPill22/11/21 07:52 PM
8

I have some thoughts on this but don't have the time to type them out currently but know that I am praying for you and your situation.
/r/RPChristians22/11/21 04:39 PM
2

Read the other advice but really listen to this advice. Take him up on his offer.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/21 03:55 AM
6

Not sure if it was mentioned above but do NOT get married or really even date again until you learn to properly vet your women.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/21 12:20 AM
3

Didn’t properly do his due diligence before marrying.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/21 12:19 AM
1

You declare Debt 1, Debt 2, Debt 3, etc on your bankruptcy. If you do not declare a certain debt it would not be included and you would just continue to pay it off. I did this with my Amex, many years ago. I had a couple hundred on it. So did not include it in the declaring and just paid it off. I still have the Amex account / card and am in good standing with them.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/21 03:12 AM
1

Dude, you can still have sex and connections with women without being married to them or even having a serious relationship with them. You need to think outside the box.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 07:07 PM
2

No, it takes a month or two at most to go through bankruptcy. It takes 7 years for the bankruptcy to fall off your credit report. Soooo, just pay off and keep at least one or two credit cards and do not include them in the bankruptcy. Also make sure you have secured a car loan or a mortgage if needed before declaring bankruptcy. There shouldn’t be any shame in starting over and doing better.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 07:07 PM
2

Because having a woman in your life makes your life be over or not over?
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 06:42 PM
6

You are one of the (un)lucky ones. Mine is bad but not your level bad. Hang in there, sorry to hear man.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/21 10:05 PM
13

Sorry to hear man. Although, her going away “by herself”, “to think”, I am immediately suspicious as that is so typical for women to do when they are hooking up with someone else. Regarding your shared safe, get a lawyer. In fact, all this “thinking” and talking, she is prepping to leave… get a lawyer yesterday.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/21 04:27 PM
1

Sounds as if you are doing well then. Those are the times he will remember.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/21 07:36 PM
2

I send their mobile devices (not phones), which are kept at my house txt messages and funny or encouraging pics throughout the week. I write and leave notes for them in places they will find them when they come back to my place. I call the youngest ones once a week to talk for 5 minutes or so. I only do that since my Ex required she be allowed to do it. She doesn’t call about 30% of the time. I always call. Nothing huge. But really I think the biggest thing is to be full involved and engaged wit…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/21 06:29 PM
3

> The key question I have is, would an ex-spouse be entitled to a court hearing to revise child-support (upward) for teen-age children (joint custody 50/50 living between us), if she learned of a very significant growth of my retirement portfolio (to low 8 figures). ​ Would she be entitled to a court hearing? Sure, her lawyer (and your lawyer) will take your money to have a court hearing. The judge gets paid regardless. Will it result in a change in CS, that I don't know. Ask your lawyer and als…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/21 03:20 AM
6

I know it can hurt man, but what I really want to know is what does your workout tonight look like? I find that working out really helps with those feelings of anger.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/21 11:26 PM
1

Well written, lays out it very clearly. OP you might not like the doors you have been given but be thankful you have a choice. Please do not choose Door Number 3.
/r/TheRedPill03/11/21 10:24 PM
16

so I gave up. No. No, you did not give up. You learned. You became wiser. And you have moved on. That takes guts and speaks highly of you my man. Head up, it may be tough for awhile or not. But taking that first step is moving you in the right direction. You’ve got this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/21 11:38 PM
10

Bad bot. Equating not getting married w committing suicide. As if.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/21 03:57 PM
3

What have you done during the last year to work on and improve yourself? You obviously divorced for a reason. If you take her back, you will have a bad time.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/21 12:35 AM
6

How about you stop listening to your brain and start telling your brain what to think and do?
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 01:28 PM
2

Good to hear!
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/21 02:52 PM
15

Sorry to hear you are going through this. Hang in there man. Here is what I share with guys that are coming into their new journey. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and high-intensity cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will ma…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/21 07:22 PM
8

While I don’t typically wish bad things on others, that is some sweet sweet beautiful ass karma!!
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/21 05:55 PM
2

Continued… Get a therapist. You might have to trial a couple before you find one that you click with and you feel that they understand you. Do NOT feel bad about firing them. If they are any good they will help you set some goals for the sessions. Sometimes sessions won’t be super productive other times they will be. It’s a process that takes some time and won’t last forever. But it will help you struggle through the mental quagmire (shit) and grow stronger and move on. Reach out to friends and …
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/21 01:40 PM
1

Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and high-intensity cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Also more muscles, those are good t…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/21 01:40 PM
2

Eh, I would be paying as many of those items directly as I could. Not just giving her the money. Also, this may set up a precedence once lawyers are involved. And they should have been involved a while ago. If you live your life ruled and guided by guilt, you will end up living a miserable life. Maybe your wife is good at managing money. Mine wasn’t. She would spend money where it wasn’t needed and neglect other areas. The kids would each have 3 winter coats and way way to many pairs of shoes bu…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/21 01:29 PM
1

You made mistakes, learn from them. It sounds as if you are so that is good. You are just paying her $3k a month, just because? Was this court ordered? Are you paying the bills directly or just giving her $3k outright? Because unless you were court ordered I am not sure I understand why you would just be giving her $3k a month.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/21 12:12 PM
15

By working on yourself, there are so many things to get done and improve.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/21 01:37 AM
2

You already received some good advice in that thread. Be kind but not overly so, you need to realize she has moved on from you. You need to do the same. It is good that you realize now your issues in your marriage, get into therapy to work on that stuff, become a better person, but do not let the guilt eat you up.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/21 03:49 PM
2

Well thought out and written, OP follow this advice.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/21 03:18 PM
2

If you are on your phone there’s an option to save comments or copy the comment and post it into a note on your phone. Or even print it out and post it somewhere you will see it on a regular basis to remind you of the next things to focus on. That is what I did as there would be times my mind would blank for awhile and I would lose momentum until I remembered what I should be doing next. So that is one of the reasons I wrote this up. Good to hear you are already working on a lot of this stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/21 10:55 PM
2

I agree. I will also say that there are some that do not really want to be helped. They just want to complain and vent how their situation is very different then all of ours and their wife (or new GF) was/is their special unicorn. Not saying all that about OP but based on some of his past posts and comments, I gave pause.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/21 03:44 AM
1

So bold headings? That makes sense and might make it easier to read. Although that has nothing to do with the length of it, which is really the only thing that OP mentioned… three times. So I don’t think it has anything to do with OP’s issue. Given that my positive to negative comments on this piece is 99% positive and the only two people that complained about it had post and comment histories that were similar (overall negative and not accepting feedback). Not just from me but to others that we…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/21 03:33 AM
1

Strike a chord? You asked for input, I gave it to you. If what I posted is too long for you, no skin off my teeth. You make it through 20 books a year and you can’t make it through a ~3 min read? Ok. Anyways, that advice that I posted isn’t for everyone. Some guys aren’t ready for it or feel too triggered. Looking forward to hearing great things from you here, in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/21 01:10 AM
2

Take you ADHD meds and buckle up. You can’t even make it through that I don’t hold out much hope for the rest of your life. You know what else is really long? An ignorantly lived life.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/21 12:17 AM
5

Lol. You sound apathetic man. Quite a few evidently based on past responses and awards given. Oh, I remember you. That explains your question. Best of luck to you man.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/21 10:31 PM
21

Sorry to hear it man. Hopefully you don’t have kids. Lawyer up, get this moving before her “new partner” gets sick of her and she tries to get back with you. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and high-intensity cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/21 03:41 PM
6

The soap opera doesn’t really matter, the judges don’t really care in majority of cases.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/21 03:40 PM
2

No.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/21 02:40 PM
1

Cool, I hope it works out for you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/21 09:06 PM
5

Dude, have you spent any time on your own figuring out the mistakes you made to get you to the first divorce? Sounds like you just jumped from one to the next. Which means you will probably repeat the same or similar mistakes with the same outcome. One of a kind, a unicorn I am sure. There are tens of thousands of other women out there. This one isn’t your soulmate. Just like the last one, which you probably thought the same about, wasn’t either.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/21 04:47 PM
7

This is horrible advice. I would never trust someone that just up and left, taking my child, for 2 whole months. The time for marriage counseling is way past.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/21 12:57 AM
7

Introvert, extrovert… I am an introverted extrovert. Meaning, I love being with people and talking to strangers and hearing their stories but to recharge I go off into the wilderness and do not see or talk to anyone for weeks at a time. I hate people. I also love them. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight e…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/21 03:44 AM
2

She has moved on, you need to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/21 06:14 PM
2

I didn’t read all of your novel in the other thread. But you def need a therapist and I would suggest stop wallowing in your thoughts about all of this and her. There are hundreds of thousands of other girls out there. This one was obviously not special, she cheated on you. Read the below then do the below, that should keep you busy for six months if you rush, a year to do it properly. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to star…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/21 08:28 PM
2

Thank you for the TL;DR
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/21 08:22 PM
19

Many many women are like that. When a woman makes a decision like that they have most likely been thinking it and making plans on it for weeks or even months, by the time they let you know. I am sorry to hear it man. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust y…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/21 03:17 AM
1

Commenting to come back to this as I have a similar situation. But I have to seriously ask, you are already dating again? I understand some people need a second lesson to help them learn. 🤷🏼‍♂️ How long were you actually on your own from the first divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/21 06:20 PM
1

Third time is a charm right? Right???
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/21 02:37 PM
1

Oh, I know it. And yeah, they almost always do disagree. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/21 03:59 PM
1

I don’t think that is selfish at all!
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/21 03:54 PM
15

Man, I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. Realize, this is super raw for you. You may feel like shit for awhile but it doesn’t always feel like that… if you don’t let it. Start working on yourself, start talking to family and friends, get a therapist. Here are a few other things that I have found helpful to do… Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just the basics). Lift, heavy weights. If …
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/21 01:50 AM
2

Awesome timing for you man!!
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 02:22 AM
2

I think they are somewhat common in the Western world, specifically the US, these days.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 02:54 PM
2

Good you realize your mistake. These types of actions can and will be used against you by her. As I said above, pets are property and should be handled through legal route. Get a lawyer ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 02:53 PM
1

This is really bad advice as it opens the door for her to claim harassment or get the police involved. Any property, including animals needs to be handled legally to make it legit.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 02:51 PM
4

Number 2? You should be an old pro by now. Just kidding, mostly. I would strongly suggest that you learn to be ok on your own for awhile. Here is what I typically post when a guy comes on sharing that he is in the early stages of divorce. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is yo…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 04:44 AM
2

You need to let her go, shove her away (not literally) and get on with healing and improving yourself and your life.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 04:41 AM
2

Something I had to deal w as a couple of my kids were being “homeschooled” by Ex … take a look at their work, workbooks, etc. is she actually HS’ing them? It won’t play a big part I am sure but could add some ammo to your side if you can prove she wasn’t actually HS’ing or wasn’t doing a very good job, etc. I say that based on her behavior. Typically that indicates she is focused on the AP and not the kid(s). Here is what I wrote up and share w new guys coming into divorce. Hang in there man. Ad…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 05:20 PM
7

OP has some good words but TL;DR… good simple start with trying to fix things right here. And if you can’t even do what is suggested here for x days, then see a doctor (maybe get some meds, maybe get some therapy) and then try the basics again.
/r/TheRedPill20/09/21 03:32 PM
8

Yes but work and finances aren’t the only thing there is to life. Balance… Does it exist, sure but they are few and far between. And if it isn’t money they want they have some other issue they want you to take care of. I would strongly suggest that you work on being happy and content on your own first. I know you’ve been out for awhile now but this is what I usually post / suggestions to those that are newly divorced or are lacking direction. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and hi…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 02:20 AM
2

That’s just insane she asked or even implied.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 02:16 AM
5

Dude, you are overthinking this yes. It doesn’t take much to come to the conclusion that your wife is a toxic alcoholic cheating verbally abusive d-bag. If you don’t get out, it is on you my man.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 01:42 AM
1

Start telling her she must want your dick since she is coming around so often. Offer to sploooge on her face if she continues to come into your private property. No, just kidding. Tell her to please leave your property. Lock your doors, don’t answer her. If she is actually harassing you call the police and tell them you asked the crazy homeless lady to leave and she won’t.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/21 03:14 PM
13

I was actually glad she divorced me. It was a constant threat she used. After 15+ years, I was like, “Well, do it then.”
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/21 02:15 AM
4

Ha, good stuff! Except saying good bye to the kids. A couple years on and I still find that hard every once in awhile. If it was up to me I would have the kids 99% of the time because I honestly enjoy being around them. But the rest of what he said, 100%!
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/21 01:55 AM
1

Sorry to hear it is so bad with her. Although sometimes I wish my Ex was so blatant like that. Instead she is very passive aggressive and subtle and low key in her manipulation and abuse. The kids tend to side with her on a lot of stuff. As she literally convinced them she is doing what is best for them and I am the one that hates them (according to her).
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/21 05:44 PM
4

Dude, are you serious? You don't know about her debts... RIP. I wish you the best though.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/21 10:56 PM
1

Lawyer. I refinanced about 1.5 yrs after the divorce and a quit claim on her (just to be double sure). Her name was found on some county paperwork, even though I was the only one on the mortgage. But things may work differently in your state. Ask a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/21 03:17 AM
4

Get an out of town lawyer. Regarding your daughter, I wouldn’t push things. Tell her you love her and that you always want to talk with her but you know all of this might be too much for her now. But that you want to spend time with her and eventually have a good relationship. Or something like that. Then back it up with your actions. It may take months or years for her to come around, but that is the hope. That she does come around. Also, you may want to look up Parental Alienation, there is a …
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/21 03:10 AM
5

If you wife is truly BPD, then you need to get out and make a clean break and get a lawyer immediately. Document everything she spends using join funds. Record, if your state allows it, all conversations. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, wh…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/21 09:44 PM
1

Who told you?
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/21 04:04 PM
2

If you are not familiar with it, Google child care and the “right of first refusal”. Try to get that in to your final divorce decree regarding the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/21 04:02 PM
9

Even though this took a long time to play out. It still seems pretty cut and dried with the mom being obviously bad. It is those cases where the mom is a bit smarter and does her own thing but in a way it isn’t obvious, normalizes her abuse (emotional, verbal), tells the children her neglect is actually her giving them freedom, where she says the father is just angry and nit-picking when he raises concerns, where there is very very little chance, probably zero, where the courts would side with t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/21 09:53 PM
2

Yeah, he is trying to have boundaries and sees himself as not growing up, because he doesn’t want to put up with her verbally abusive shit. That is messed up man. To OP, it is alright to have boundaries. Your wife is the one that needs to grow up and learn to communicate like an adult.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/21 07:28 PM
14

Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Also more muscles, those are good too. Start and do BJ…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/21 01:30 AM
4

Learn to enjoy your own company because then you will never truly be alone.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/21 01:29 AM
2

Sure you can post here. But considering this is a divorce subreddit FOR men, maybe you would be better served posting elsewhere. 🤷🏼‍♂️ Best of luck on your new journey.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/21 07:02 PM
3

Sorry to hear it man but as others have said it sounds like this should be straight forward w/ no house and no kids. Thank goodness, for you, no kids being involved. I tend to post this for new guys, I hope it helps you on your journey. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you …
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/21 06:59 PM
4

Are you a man? No? Please go post in a non-man subreddit.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/21 04:50 PM
4

You need to move on. Yes you will be lonely for awhile but if you keep yourself working on yourself then it won’t be be so bad all of the time. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you …
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/21 10:00 PM
3

Learn to enjoy your own company, then you will never be lonely.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/21 09:41 PM
9

Oh man, I am sorry. Those times, are seriously tough. I think it is important, to let your son see that you have emotional reaction too sad times in your life. So I think you did well. Also, that is pretty introspective of your son to verbalize something like that. I think it comes down to recognizing the part you played in the failure, maybe a little or maybe a lot. Learning from that. And also teaching your child that “shit” happens in life. The most important thing is what we decide to do wit…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 04:35 AM
2

Cool, at least you have boundaries. Heh, I use to not even have those. 😉
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 04:19 AM
2

Bru, I can recognize you and your type because I was your type. You think I have beef with you because I don’t coddle you like most others do. I don’t have beef with anyone. I just know that people short change themselves when they are capable of so much more. Since I was you… One day I made the choice to be different and most everyday since then it has been a choice. Sometimes taking an hour in the morning to tell myself to get the fuck out of bed and do my push-ups. When I did, I always felt b…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 04:12 AM
1

I’ve done this more times then I can count. I think you like to talk and feel sorry for yourself. And you want others to feel sorry for you too. And maybe you off yourself just for spite. You have enough support. You don’t want it. This is only on you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 03:23 AM
1

Dream, dream, dream, dream Dream, dream, dream, dream When I want you in my arms When I want you and all your charms Whenever I want you, all I have to do is Dream, dream, dream, dream When I feel blue in the night And I need you to hold me tight Whenever I want you, all I have to do is Dream I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine Anytime night or day Only trouble is, gee whiz I'm dreamin' my life away I need you so that I could die I love you so and that is why Whenever I want you, all I …
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 03:19 AM
1

Then you are weak like Cobb. Cobb was smart. But also weak.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 03:17 AM
1

Your last few sentences of your last post imply it, that you have it bad. And for the record, none of us “deserve” shit. We deserve what we fight, negotiate and struggle for. Heh, you thinking that “fighting clubs” is frivolity. That’s cute. Spending time at home… ever hear of body weight workouts? Like I said turn off the anime titties, senpai. You pay for what? Do you though, do you really get your money’s worth?
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 03:12 AM
1

If you think you can’t, you can’t. If you think you can, we’ll maybe you just might have a chance. Your life isn’t any worse then the rest of ours. We are all unique sad little snowflakes in our own special ways. And there is always somebody that has it worse then you and I. Always. Given how much you type I think you want interaction. So go find a BJJ or boxing gym to get some interaction. Or send me a DM telling me how fucked up your life is. So I can then tell you, what you decide to do next …
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 02:45 AM
3

Have you called any suicide support lines? Killing your self on your birthday sounds rather dramatic. You have any family, parents, siblings? I’m not a suicide counselor so listen or not to what I said previously or say here… You have to decide that you aren’t going to quit. Doesn’t matter if you feel fake. Go workout , lift heavy weights, anyways. Everyone feels awkward at the start. The thing is no one is really paying attention to you. It just feel like it. You have to do this yourself. Nobod…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 01:18 AM
1

When is your birthday?
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 12:51 AM
7

Sounds like you do a lot of sitting around watching anime and other shit on TV. Sounds like you aren’t doing anything for yourself to actually be proud of. Until that changes you will continue to be depressed and continue to think of her. You need to take some action. If you are serious… Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, the…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 12:00 AM
1

You want the memories to disappear… you need to start creating new memories to replace those old memories.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/21 11:49 PM
2

While I hesitate at the "and yes my eyes are wide open"... They are all older, it sounds like, except the youngest. Even then, a one-on-one conversation would be best, in my opinion. Unless you do not have a close enough relationship with them to do that. No judgement there. Then I would suggest a short and simple letter, "I love you and want you to be involved in my and Y's life. I would be honored and would love for you to attend (or be a part of) our wedding on X date at Z place. If you can't…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/21 04:03 AM
4

Congrats! And all of it looks very good. Best wishes to you as you start on your new journey!
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/21 03:34 AM
2

Have to have some alternative color in there, I guess. :D ​ Personally, I would go for spinach.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/21 03:33 AM
3

Is this a monthly break down or a per paycheck breakdown? What app or program did you use to do this? Hopefully the divorce wraps up quickly for you so you can use that $500 investing in something more worthwhile. 😉
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/21 09:44 PM
3

Affair partner
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/21 03:16 PM
13

Do you know why divorce is so expensive? … … Because it is worth it. I had my house appraiser say that to me when we were comparing divorce stories, while he was doing his thing at my house.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/21 02:30 AM
4

If it works and guys find it helpful, which they do, yeah. I wrote it so I will cut and paste it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/21 10:15 PM
8

Better late than never. I don’t have much patience for someone that has basically given up in their life and is just “existing”. At least if they want to be part of my life. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/21 06:58 PM
1

It happens. Just a suggestion that really helped me. Religiously use your phone calendar to input EVERYTHING you need to do or when you need to be somewhere. Not just related to your kid but everything. Things can be chaotic or just get busy but doing that will ensure you don’t miss anything. I make sure to enter everything and set it with an alert that goes off an hour or two beforehand to give myself enough time to wrap up whatever I am doing to get there on time. Hang in there man.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/21 02:06 PM
1

You have to ask yourself why you missed it. I've told my kids the only time I would not give them priority and be with them, even though I very much want to, is when my job requires me to work. Thankfully I have a typical 8-5 job that is mostly flexible. But there has been a couple of times over the years where I have had to miss a day of being with them due to travelling for work. Most of the time I am able to make it up to them in some way, they do like it when I surprise them with little gift…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/21 06:52 AM
4

What about any items of value or sentiment in the home, how are you handling that stuff? The rest of it looks good. I hope it goes smoothly for you. Just as long as she doesn't change her mind. Also, wouldn't it be good to have a lawyer review it, just in case, specific to your state, etc? Question though, you had separation papers you used several years ago. So this was wife number 2? I assume? Are you going to go for a third-round?
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/21 04:02 AM
6

Ok. Now what? You need to move on. Especially as being potential jail time or legal troubles could keep you from your daughters. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/21 01:37 PM
8

Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Also more muscles, those are good too. Start and do BJ…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/21 07:48 PM
5

Pretty likely.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/21 03:19 AM
5

Dude, you need to leave her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/21 05:43 PM
9

Actions speak louder than words.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/21 08:32 PM
9

Believe what she does, not what she says.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/21 08:32 PM
4

Or maybe she is telling people negative stories about you, maybe that you are abusive or whatever. And her being seen with you in those settings would cast doubt on those stories. Weird, but I’ve seen even weirder. You need to move on and quit being her “friend”. Soon enough she will be with another guy. What areas of your life are you working on for yourself?
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 11:51 PM
2

I do the same for the audiobooks. Start at 1.3x then bump it up over about 10 minutes so my hearing gets use to it. Thanks for the book suggestion, I will check it out.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 04:47 PM
8

Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Also more muscles, those are good too. Start and do BJ…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 12:14 PM
6

Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Also more muscles, those are good too. Start and do BJ…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/21 06:11 PM
10

She sounds BPD... sorry man. Hang in there but also the sooner you are able to get away from her the better it will be for you. ​ Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better to…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/21 04:19 PM
1

Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Also more muscles, those are good too. Start and do BJ…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/21 02:26 PM
2

I think you can say it and get your thoughts across without coming across overpowering. Say it in a way that gets to the point of the “WTFFFFFFFfffffff!?!?” but also shows you have moved on and are working on you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/21 02:19 AM
3

Oh, that is a good one. :D
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/21 12:14 AM
12

You will get used to the questions or just grow to not care. I tend to have fun with them… “She decided the married life wasn’t for her and told me she was joining a mobile convent. … Except it was really a front for a circus of traveling crack whores. … I know, right? Who has ever heard of a mobile convent?!?” Not the exact words I use but whatever… I tend to not care what most people think of me. Also maybe she had heard stories from your Ex and was sizing you up trying to see if they were rea…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/21 12:00 AM
9

Good to hear man. Sounds as if things are working out well for you. Of course, keep your guard up, limit time alone with her, maybe get a personal audio recording device. I don’t mean to sound paranoid but I’m so many stories I read I hear the Ex-wife decided she wanted more during the divorce and created issues or fabricated things to put the man in a bad light. I hope nothing like that happens and you are able to get out and make a clean break and 100% focus on yourself and your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 02:39 PM
12

Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Also more muscles, those are good too. Start and do BJ…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/21 04:04 PM
4

Good for you. I hadn’t wanted the divorce but when it was finalized I felt filled with peace and a growing sense of freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/21 04:03 PM
5

You Fool! Oh… right… good for you my man! Carry on and ride safe!
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/21 03:41 AM
1

Right. The level of female sanity is not binary, it is on a continuum. Just like the level of masculinity a guy has would be similar.
/r/askTRP15/06/21 09:58 PM
2

This is a good question and I appreciate your thought put into it. Re-directing and or being playful isn't necessarily beta. Especially if you remove your attention from her in a non-butt-hurt manner. Go on and celebrate with yourself or with people that will be happy for your achievement. Some of these can be a fine line, but I think generally if you tend towards being light-hearted and mostly ignoring (as opposed to putting her in her place) shit tests things will tend to go better for you. Ig…
/r/askTRP15/06/21 04:48 PM
1

Actually it was the licensed home appraiser I hired to appraise the house we lived in so we could know how much it would cost to buy her out. The home appraiser was actually really encouraging to me, besides that one joke. He had gone though a dramatic divorce a few years back and shared some of his experience. (As I thought it was important to give my kid’s stability and consistency. Ex on the other has moved 3 times in 2.5 years for “reasons”. Gone through 2 jobs and 3 cars in the same amount …
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 01:14 PM
0

Did you not read the first paragraph? Lawyer consults, get a lawyer. And then the rest of the stuff only after the lawyer stuff is handled a few lines down.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/21 03:03 AM
1

You are taking this from a woman’s perspective. I think the asker was asking for guy’s perspectives. I would be curious though if you are first or second generation here in the US and if first generation did you do most of your growing up in the US? Mostly rhetorical questions for anecdotal data points. I ask those though because you sound Western or possibly college educated.
/r/askTRP09/06/21 03:25 AM
8

Duuuuuude, you need to slow down being already involved with the next relationship shit. You need to work on yourself. Making yourself happy and not needing a girl to make you happy. What happens when things don’t work out with this girl? It sounds as if you are not sure exactly what to do, even though your first divorce will be final in six days. I would suggest not being in a relationship for awhile, first of all. And then this stuff... Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/21 03:00 AM
27

Shortly after my divorce I had someone tell me these wise words... “Do you know why getting a divorce is so expensive?” ... “Because it is worth it.”
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/21 02:55 AM
10

Sorry to hear man, this will all suck for awhile. You are early in the process but please know that she is no longer your wife, she has thrown away what you had and she is now the enemy. Do not trust her or anything she says. Start scheduling consults with lawyers. Many will give 30 minutes free where you can ask questions, about what you can expect and how they handle divorces. Depending on your state’s laws start recording ALL interactions with her. Good for you to not take the bait from her b…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/21 03:33 AM
1

Ok. Then maybe it is something else you are doing or not doing. Or just keep doing the first dates and maybe eventually a girl or girls will be up for a second date.
/r/askTRP06/06/21 07:36 PM
2

My guess, you are boring at worst or at best just not very interesting in person. Girls will overlook ugly or not the best looking guys if the guy is interesting, engaging and can make them laugh.
/r/askTRP06/06/21 07:17 PM
36

Take her camping.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/21 04:38 PM
1

Great, now I am hungry!
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/21 06:29 AM
0

Glad I could help. Hang in there, it does eventually get better, if you put in the work.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/21 05:18 AM
5

Sorry to hear about it man. Most of the time it is best to follow your gut. Hang in there... it may get worse before it gets better but it will eventually get better.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/21 09:31 PM
7

Dude, it is just common sense in these types of situations. These stories while all unique in their own way are a dime a dozen. And many times it comes out later that the wife had someone on the side that they were involved in some sort of way with. It isn't like he is being told to shove the STD test in his wife's face. An STD test is simply the guy confirming he is clean.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/21 09:30 PM
3

I second this advice, never stop lifting. Sure take a week maybe, maaaaaybe two off once a year. Go on vacation, go for a long hike, whatever. But generally unless you are injured you should continue to lift. Maybe adjust your program or lower weight to focus on form but never stop lifting. I like low carb and Intermittent Fasting, they have worked well for me in dropping body fat. Whatever nutrition path you take, stick with it.
/r/askTRP03/06/21 01:48 AM
33

This is the way.
/r/askTRP02/06/21 08:54 PM
9

The time will pass regardless, make the best use of that time and work on improving yourself. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too,…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/21 07:55 PM
5

Not in NJ myself and the very few support groups I found were very disappointing. This is what I put together while going through my own divorce. I’ve received a lot of positive feedback from other guys that have followed these suggestions as well. Good luck, hang in there and congrats on getting custody. =====• Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have acc…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/21 11:54 PM
7

Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Also more muscles, those are good too. Start and do BJ…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/21 07:19 PM
1

Uh, you do know she doesn’t care about you and the kids, right? You do know she is fucking someone, possibly multiple someones with all this time away from you and the kids, right? Do not listen to what she says, pay attention to her actions.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/21 06:07 PM
3

I know a thing or two about ass hair. No, no it is not gay to have ass hair. Just as long as you keep it nice and braided.
/r/askTRP30/05/21 02:24 PM
2

Pic of dog, to pic of you and the dog. Your solo pics, your body language is “weak”, closed off. It shows a lack of confidence and projects weakness. Not saying you are weak, just your body language projects it in the solo pics. Hunched over, drawn in to yourself, hand and arm across your body, chin resting on hand, not very confident, hand in pocket, etc. Singing solo pic is good.
/r/askTRP29/05/21 07:16 PM
1

Your pp smelled funny.
/r/askTRP26/05/21 02:07 AM
4

As little as possible. Much like these types of questions.
/r/askTRP25/05/21 10:28 PM
3

It won’t get deleted, at least not by me. I wrote it up and post it regularly here in response to guys sharing their stories.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/21 08:42 PM
28

As long as you learn from your mistakes. While you are waiting, do this... Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w fe…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/21 05:33 PM
9

Only weird if your dad tries to make it a threesome... ... and she doesn’t agree.
/r/askTRP25/05/21 04:41 PM
3

Turn off the fuckin’ TV and don’t chase “happy” feelings. Next thing you know he will be chasing that “happy” feeling into drugs, alcohol and sloots! Ha, jk’ing sort of. I would recommend he work on himself. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body,…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/21 12:28 AM
25

They only funny cause they had SlickJamesBitch for a brother.
/r/askTRP20/05/21 12:23 AM
7

Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Also more muscles, those are good too. Start and do BJ…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/21 12:07 AM
1

2nd edit: Why did you post this 3 times??? ​ If your wife refuses to see one, you can't salvage the marriage on your own. You need two to make a marriage work. Sorry. Go to individual counseling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/counsellors has a very good listing that is searchable by a lot of different variables. Edited to add: Although we did see 3 Marriage counselors during our 15+ year marriage and 99% of the issues that were raised were ALWAYS my fault. During the divorce proceedings a…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 05:09 PM
3

Stay true to yourself man. If you give in, you will most likely end up resenting the situation and then most likely at least a little bit them for not respecting your boundaries. I assume you have told them your boundaries? I hope you have. ​ When I date, one of the first things I tell women is, I am not going to get married again. Infact I am not even sure I want to get into a serious relationship again. I am interested in meeting fun and interesting people, dating, having fun, going on adventu…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 06:02 AM
4

Fuck no. Not so soon, and definitely not with her ultimatum. Me personally, I will not be getting married again. Too much risk and not enough reward.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/21 04:39 AM
2

Actually not that many.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 03:28 PM
2

It’s so CUTE!!!1
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 03:25 PM
3

Wow that is awkward. 😬
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 02:47 PM
2

Does she normally talk on her sleep? If not then she was faking it and looking to cause drama.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 01:58 PM
6

On one hand... LMFAO! You deserve what you get. On the other hand... don’t get so fucking wasted bru you don’t even know when you are choking on a guys’ massive schloooong. 😂🤣😂 Seriously dude, you have a drinking problem. Get help. You’re not healthy.
/r/askTRP11/05/21 03:16 PM
1

Not always. Some guys have bipolar, narcissistic borderline abusive moms.
/r/askTRP11/05/21 02:57 AM
3

Absofuckinglutely not! You could not pay me enough money to get back with my Ex. While I didn’t file for divorce I was 100% at peace about it when she did. 15+ years married, and I am so glad it is over. I won’t be getting married again. I will date but never married, too much risk for not enough positive benefit.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/21 02:35 AM
7

6%, 1 in 17 is not very common.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/21 02:30 AM
2

Ok. Well he can be out and done with it in 3 weeks. And in those 3 weeks you are teaching him all there needs to be known about dealing with bullies and haters and letting hateful words slide off your back.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 12:55 AM
2

Yes... interesting.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 12:54 AM
2

Fuck your Ex and fuck these pansy assed push-overs telling you to pull him out 3 weeks before the end of the year. Unless he is special needs or something? Or some other extenuating circumstances... Have you talked to him about being strong, mentally, and not giving up when someone calls you names or makes fun of you? Have you talked to his teachers and the administration? Have you talked to the other kid’s parents? Have you threatened to break the other kid’s kneecaps? Or maybe not threatened, …
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 12:04 AM
5

Wow, man I am sorry to hear about your situation. Take a deep breath. And another, really a deep one. Put the alcohol down. Get a glass of cold water. Drink it. Then read this... Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemica…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 04:29 AM
1

IF without animosity or drama it could be neutral to a good thing for the kids. My BPD Ex wanted to live next door. I am sooo glad that did not work out for her. In the 3.5 years since our separation she has moved 3 times and is planning to move again. Each time has been within 10-20 minutes of me but this next time she is planning on moving 50 minutes away. I can already see how that will negatively impact the kids. Which I’ve shared with her, she doesn’t care.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/21 09:11 PM
7

You are a good sibling. Thank you for looking out for your brother in this way. I wrote this up awhile ago and share it when I see someone post stories like this. Granted he has kids and they’re were taken so he needs to find a proactive lawyer and take action. But the rest of this stuff needs to be done by him to help him heal, improve himself and move on from his Ex. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these ar…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/21 06:39 PM
3

Research Sunk Cost Fallacy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/21 01:29 AM
38

I have plates and FWBs ask me if I’ve fucked other girls that I haven’t fucked. Just because I mention something about them or they see a picture of us together. I don’t think it is any special skill, they are just insecure and always wondering who else you’ve been with / sizing up their level of competition.
/r/askTRP21/04/21 06:20 PM
3

If she has final say based on your decree, then unfortunately she has final say. I don’t know if the kids might want to stay in their present schools and could influence their mom or not. I am in a similar situation except we both have 50/50 say. She has switched the kids school once after 2 years (but within same district, so I was ok with that) but now wants to move 40 miles away and put them in a school that would be near her new place. So an hour plus drive there and back for me? I don’t thi…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/21 06:18 PM
7

No. He disrespected her. She assaulted him. They are both fucktards.
/r/askTRP20/04/21 02:10 PM
23

Hrmmm, if someone cheats on you that is them clearly leaving you.
/r/askTRP19/04/21 02:32 PM
2

Naw man, def 42. Cause that’s the answer to everything.
/r/askTRP16/04/21 08:05 PM
1

What specifically do you have questions about? Relationally and how you handle the generalities of a divorce will be similar around the world pretty much. For specifics, I would recommend a consult with a few lawyers. Or whatever you call them down there... probably Dark Spined Moolah Jax or something.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/21 02:20 AM
3

By “test the waters”, you mean she sleeps around and you try to do the same? Do not move out, as others have said. In my opinion either start the proceedings to divorce or get into marriage counseling. Leaning towards the first.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 06:07 PM
4

Make lovingly juicy eye contact with yourself in the mirror until you aren’t so autistic.
/r/askTRP14/04/21 01:49 PM
3

Go research IOIs, Indicators of Interest.
/r/askTRP14/04/21 01:48 PM
2

Can’t really tell how many you’ve got there. Also depends on location, your looks, bio, etc. You might get lots of matches in Boise but very few matches in LA. IMO it is better to compare your present self to your past self, then to what a bunch of guys on the internet think. Do you have more matches then six months ago? How many of those matches are you converting to meeting up? And so on. I think that is a better litmus test to how you are doing.
/r/askTRP14/04/21 05:42 AM
7

No, do NOT confront her! She will deny or blame him, at best she will provide trickle truth. Retain a lawyer, file for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/21 02:08 AM
1

You can do the 10 session intro course, in less then an hour. Each one ranges in time from 3 minutes to 10 minutes at Max setting.
/r/TheRedPill13/04/21 03:11 PM
5

Headspace, Ten Percent are two apps I’ve used and liked. Or even YT videos can get you started w guided meditations.
/r/TheRedPill13/04/21 02:49 PM
24

Girls all of the time say, “No, I have a boyfriend.” Not a good reply on her part.
/r/askTRP12/04/21 05:19 PM
6

Don’t get into LTRs.
/r/askTRP11/04/21 06:23 AM
11

I hope he blew his Rape Whistle really loud!
/r/askTRP10/04/21 10:46 PM
3

Your marriage got challenging? What’s that mean? Sounds like you realize you might have had a good thing and are now realizing that. Sorry to hear that man. Or maybe your divorce is still relatively new and you are missing the “good” memories? No, zero regrets on my part. 100% am satisfied that mine divorced me. At least 70% more peaceful, more fulfilling and less stressful life since she moved out. She tries to engage me ALL of the time and I want absolutely nothing to do with her. Unless it is…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/21 06:20 AM
1

Glad I could share it. Hang in there, this will suck... for awhile. If you do the above it will eventually get better.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/21 10:28 PM
2

Man, I am sorry to hear and sorry you have been blindsided by this. You have already received a lot of good advice here. Here is mine... Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look be…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/21 09:13 PM
2

Already been said but saying it again, that is a huge red flag when a girl shares so quickly she has been raped. No judgement on being raped, that is shit to have to have gone through that and have dealt with that. But her sharing so quickly tells me she hasn’t properly healed from it, mentally.
/r/askTRP08/04/21 03:27 PM
1

There is probably something in the sidebar on dread game. Here is an informative post by some guy on dread... https://www.rianstone.com/blog/dread
/r/askTRP08/04/21 01:45 PM
8

You need to mentally kill the idea of your wife in your head, that she is your wife. She is no longer your wife. When she stepped out, she decided she wanted to become your enemy and try to destroy you. It’s up for you to decide if you are willing to do what needs to be done to survive this and even come out stronger on the other side. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weight…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/21 08:50 PM
1

Good reply.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/21 02:56 PM
1

Drinking in itself I don’t think is an issue. But going to alcohol when faced with stress that is an issue. I would recommend you pay close attention to that and look for other more healthy stress relievers during this time. Eg, lifting heavy weights, HIIT, meditation, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/21 02:55 PM
1

Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/21 02:35 PM
1

No.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/21 02:34 PM
4

You just want to date and fuck? Go for it. Anything more than that, fuck no. I would be willing to bet you’re not ready. Most guys aren’t. Hence so many second and third divorces. And so many guys dealing with the same or similar issues that got them to divorce in the first place. I see so many guys jumping back in saying they won’t do another relationship for at least a year but they start dating and within a few months they are serious with a girl. And then they start talking marriage. Really?…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/21 02:17 AM
12

Don’t get fucking drunk and have sex again. Duh.
/r/askTRP05/04/21 07:46 PM
7

My Ex initially wanted 1/1 (yes, changing custody every night). Fortunately, both sets of lawyers shut that down quickly. We “compromised” by going with 2/2/3 schedule. My goal had been to have at least a 5 day schedule of some kind, to allow the most consistency for the kids. It took awhile but I was finally able to convince the Ex that 7/7 schedule was best for the kids. I was able to find some articles about it and shared w her. After a few months she then finally decided that 7/7 schedule wa…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 01:41 PM
4

For catharsis go lift heavy weights or do BJJ, Muay Thai or boxing. You can be confrontational without being a snappy bitch back to her, acting exactly like her.
/r/askTRP05/04/21 02:01 AM
1

Do you work out? Lift heavy weights, BJJ, Muay Thai, Box? Do you do meditation or yoga? Do you run or bike or do some other form of hard cardio or HIIT? Do you ever get a deep tissue massage? Sex? All things that I find help me to destress.
/r/askTRP05/04/21 01:54 AM
22

Stop getting drunk you fucking shit head. 1a. Learn to shut your pie hole mouth. Learn how to fight; BJJ, Boxing, Muay Thai. Stay out of fights.
/r/askTRP05/04/21 01:43 AM
4

Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Also more muscles, those are good too. Start and do BJ…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/21 03:44 PM
4

It sounds as if you are working on that, so that is good. And it takes time. So be patient. Build value, with yourself, not just by talking to girls but by doing awesome and worthwhile shit. That will help your mindset as well.
/r/askTRP01/04/21 12:31 PM
2

That’s just vetting, not necessarily a comfort test.
/r/askTRP01/04/21 04:06 AM
2

If you just met it is highly unlikely she would be comfort testing you at this point.
/r/askTRP01/04/21 03:24 AM
3

She is not yours, it is just your turn. I don’t have girlfriends, I have FWBs and plates. Even if I did have a girlfriend it wouldn’t bother me. How do you get over it, most likely by building abundance mentality and working overall on your insecurity.
/r/askTRP01/04/21 03:11 AM
11

Yeah, you are being insecure.
/r/askTRP01/04/21 02:39 AM
26

I would be more concerned with what she said initially, “can you tell me the exact date?” Either she is just clingy or she wants to have a full day to wash all the semen off her from the four other guys she is cheating on you with. Dunno, could be either, maybe both.
/r/askTRP01/04/21 02:37 AM
13

Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Also more muscles, those are good too. Start and do BJ…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/21 08:39 PM
1

Yes, therapy if you can find availability. Also, I would suggest having them and you try out some of the meditation apps, like headspace. My kids really enjoy and benefit from even the intro levels, which last about 3 to 10 minutes.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/21 12:23 AM
6

Your Ex seems to have had a lot of red flags. I would think you might want to spend some time figuring out how you missed those before jumping right back into dating. Or else you are likely to end up in a similar situation.
/r/askRPC30/03/21 12:10 AM
2

Ex’s first attorney, bowed out, I never found out why but I have a couple ideas of possibly why. Attorney was just a one attorney operation. Ex moved to a larger law firm and continually uses them to send threats for XYZ. They are more then happy to use their letterhead. Even though the divorce was complete a few years ago she still likes to talk about “her lawyers” and what they will do to me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 09:47 PM
3

Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Start and do BJJ, Muay Thai and/or Boxing 3-6x a week.…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 05:58 PM
3

They will care more about your frame and attitude than your face. I can tell you now, your frame is way uglier than your face.
/r/askTRP29/03/21 04:03 AM
2

I won’t downvote you, but I disagree about 2020 being a shit year for dating. I’ve had more matches on the apps and more success in dating and plates and finding FEBs in 2020 than I did in 2019. 2021 is looking even better. I also agree with you, don’t solely focus on just one thing. It is always good to diversify your actions and improvements.
/r/askTRP28/03/21 04:46 PM
3

What’s your question? How can you stop being a 29 year old loser? Stop doing loser shit. Time to start doing winner shit. Continually ask yourself throughout your day, what have I done so far today that proves I am an awesome winner doing cool winner type shit? As opposed to the typical loser shit that I do. Until you can immediately list off several things every day, you will continue to be a 29 year old loser doing 29 year old loser shit. Then eventually you will be a 30 year old loser... then…
/r/askTRP28/03/21 04:43 PM
2

Yes. I would say 80% do.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/21 07:05 AM
7

Very well said.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/21 05:45 AM
5

It is typical. It is not healthy or “normal”. You need to be as amicable as you can and move on with very little to no contact.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/21 05:44 AM
2

Check out /BPDlovedones subreddit for more stories and suggestion on dealing with BPD people, there are quite a lot of people with very similar situations. It is good to know that you are not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 02:11 PM
22

Sounds like you need to start working out. Some of these suggestions would be good for you. Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. T…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/21 10:58 PM
4

I dislike talking on the phone, have to do it a lot for work. I would rather text and even more so, I would rather meet face to face. I don’t think anything about them. Some people have preferences.
/r/askTRP21/03/21 06:00 AM
4

Meditation and stoicism both helped my negative feelings. As well as strengthening existing relationships with family and a few friends. ——— Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you loo…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/21 05:36 AM
17

Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Start and do BJJ, Muay Thai and/or Boxing 3-6x a week.…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/21 05:33 AM
7

I visited 4 different firms and had 30 minute consults and also had 3 different phone calls with other firms, also 30 mins, all for free. If I am dropping at least 15k, let me “test drive” your firm. Paying anything for a consult is insane to me. Sorry to hear about that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/21 09:16 PM
1

Awesome work on your mental improvements man. That is really big so give yourself a lot of credit for being able to change your perspective... about the total cheating whore your Ex is. 😉
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/21 06:42 PM
2

I understand what you mean. Sometimes a coupe just aren’t compatible. Sometimes one is prone to more drama then needed. Sometimes one has an undiagnosed personality disorder (PD) and it doesn’t matter how good of a spouse the other person is, it just isn’t going to ever work out with that person, with the PD. I would stay away from Reddit’s relationship advice sub. Most of it is crap. Re: the PD, the DSM has certain criteria that a person has to meet before they could be diagnosed with a PD. DSM…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/21 04:43 AM
2

Depends what kind she might have. There are various subs here that are helpful if she legit has one. The last 4 books are a good start as well.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/21 04:34 AM
3

No worries man. It’s all good. Just as long as you are aware and working on the various areas of your life, towards improvement... for yourself. With a tight income I would encourage you to do some body weight exercise routines at least. Find some podcasts or YT channels based on self-improvement to watch as well. Hang in there, the situation may not get better but as you improve you will find it affects you less and less.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/21 02:22 AM
1

I wrote it up and post it when I come across an OP here that I think could make use of the info.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/21 02:18 AM
17

Man, spend some time just working on yourself. Do you actually NEED to be using women to validate yourself? ————- Edited to add: Advice when faced w divorce Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/21 01:50 AM
35

She has uncontrollable diarrhea just like everybody else.
/r/TheRedPill09/03/21 06:20 AM
5

Painfully, this sounds extremely familiar It initially doesn’t go well, but can get better if you work hard at it. Be aware it will be emotionally and mentally draining. Take care of yourself. Unfortunately, as you mentioned parental alienation, if you are gone any length of time (deployment?), your wife has already swung your kids towards herself. Just be as consistent and loving as you can be to your kids. I am dealing with this stuff now. Everyone says, “oh your kids will come around some day…
/r/RPChristians06/03/21 07:32 AM
1

Read. Listen to podcasts about new things (real estate, stoicism, history, stocks, self-improvement) Watch documentaries Practice my hobbies (BJJ, boxing, Muay Thai) Play chess, checkers, other thinking type games. Read more. Your brain “rotting”, the only person to blame is your lazy self. ;)
/r/askTRP04/03/21 01:48 PM
30

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
/r/askTRP27/02/21 02:30 PM
39

Dude, give me her number!
/r/askTRP27/02/21 07:58 AM
2

Ok. Just as long as you wouldn’t be on the hook for a full year. Didn’t know the lease situation etc. Good luck! Also if you have heard of it orbit no one mentioned it in the comments, check out /BPDlovedones it is a subreddit for people who were in relationships with BPD people. Of course don’t me this this sub or RP over there, but they have some good stuff to read. As well as just reading other people’s stories helps make you not feel so crazy in what you went through. Hope it all works out f…
/r/askTRP12/02/21 05:36 AM
1

I was just thinking legally what would be best. Couldn’t you mail them a letter as well as call or send the text? Was just thinking how they would handle security deposit, cutting you out of your lease, etc.
/r/askTRP12/02/21 04:20 AM
3

Do not “state” to your landlord, put it in writing. You don’t have to go into details but it should be in writing and signed by you and delivered to them.
/r/askTRP12/02/21 03:02 AM
7

Get a lawyer, yesterday. File a police report. Check the laws in your area first and if you can get voice recording device and carry with you at all times and video cameras in your house. Never be a lone with her again. This part will be even harder but tell the kids (depending on their ages, adjust how you tell them) you love them and will always love them and you want to be with them and will always want to be with them, no matter what anybody says. That they can call you anytime and that they…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/21 08:07 PM
1

No, you didn’t lose your gf from going monk mode. You lost your gf because you were toxic and ruined your relationship, as you yourself admitted. She dodged a bullet. You need to learn from your mistake and move on.
/r/RPChristians10/02/21 07:40 PM
3

I assume the novocaine hasn’t worn off your head since this isn’t really a question. Go, get drinks. Ask her to hook you up with the NOS. Flirt, have fun, escalate, have more fun. Tell her you were serious about the NOS. I would keep things overall “good”, since it is a person that has a working relationship with your sister.
/r/askTRP10/02/21 05:54 PM
1

Sounds like it sucks man. It will get better with time. From the posts I read here I would say the majority of guys were the ones served papers versus them serving papers. Not all, but a majority.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/21 05:24 PM
2

Yes, this. Unless it was signed certified delivery... you know the postal service has been unreliable lately. 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/21 11:36 PM
5

Douse it with gasoline. Set it on fire. 🤗🤗🤗 (Move it out of your house first)
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/21 08:10 PM
80

I’m range between 17-19% body fat and I get told all the time by girls that I am so ripped, am in awesome shape, etc. I have too much body fat, should be at least 15%. It helps that I’ve got a lot of muscles but still I am categorically overweight but am viewed as “so ripped”. This is America, welcome to America.
/r/askTRP07/02/21 02:19 AM
14

This is America.
/r/askTRP07/02/21 02:14 AM
7

I don’t know... I am 100x happier single and dating then I was married. Tinder, Bumble, etc... I’ve only had a few really unenjoyable dates. Most have been pretty enjoyable and interesting. Some of the women I have matched with, I still have arrangements with and a few I would consider friends with certain type of benefits... 🤷🏼‍♂️ I make it a point to be very clear that I am not interested in marriage and that a long term relationship would only happen with someone I have a lot of good chemistr…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/21 07:38 PM
3

It gets better with time and with your focus elsewhere. ​ Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through a divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then bodyweight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Start and do BJJ, Muay …
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/21 10:32 PM
-1

It’s his “O” mask face. O_o
/r/askTRP26/01/21 01:30 AM
7

Hey Betta! Sounds like you are having a relapse and started posting in the wrong sub again. Remember, take your meds, stay away from sharp objects, girls and be sure to work out and you should be ok.
/r/askTRP24/01/21 02:10 AM
2

Check out the age_gap subreddit for real-life examples. ​ Of course, it is more along the lines of "relationship_advice" subreddit, but people are always posting in there about their "age gap" relationship issues.
/r/askTRP22/01/21 04:02 AM
3

I think your first part is on point. ​ I would leave off the last part though since she then just knows she has to take her talking to Bob/Chuck underground and hide it from OP. I would just leave it with the first part and let the second part be implied or be guessed at since OP wouldn't be saying it explicitly.
/r/askTRP20/01/21 03:04 PM
3

I heard Glen Plake skied Tuck’s naked.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen20/01/21 07:06 AM
4

Reply with, “just imagine what I would do to your pussy, lol” No, don’t reply with that. I would maybe reply in an awhile with a wink emoji or something else like that.
/r/askTRP19/01/21 02:42 PM
2

I would not be with a girl that shaved her head, definitely not LTR or FWB and probably not even a plate. Unless maybe it was due to some medical reason? Which I doubt it was.
/r/askTRP19/01/21 01:37 AM
6

To her own account, maybe to her new boyfriend, maybe to her mani and pedis... Set up a separate account and fast.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/21 12:52 AM
5

Wait, you ignored her for a month straight and now you want to get back with her when she goes unstable? This chick is messed up, you may be also, going no contact for a month. I don’t think she would be worth it, especially after shaving her head.
/r/askTRP19/01/21 12:50 AM
2

Always weigh the pros and cons, on everything. I do that w plates and FWBs pretty frequently. It isn’t something I spend hours in but giving things some critical thought is always a good thing. I’m not sure what you are asking. And it isn’t getting harder and harder to find a unicorn, statistically speaking things are the same as they ever were. Maybe changing a couple percent one way or another. Regardless, “unicorns” are like 10s, they are subjective. One man’s 8.5 would be another man’s 10. O…
/r/askTRP13/01/21 04:44 PM
9

Counting flags for what, your flag collection? Are you asking if she would make a good LTR? The answer is no. The majority of girls in the world won’t make good LTRs. That being said, you need to decide what risk you are willing to take and be ready to walk away when the time comes. And with that many flags you counted... it would make her at most a FWB to me.
/r/askTRP13/01/21 04:19 PM
3

Good but also sorry to hear man, that you’ve been around for awhile. Are the things you are doing currently bringing you any happiness or pleasure? Do you feel like you are making progress in your life, getting to where you want to be?
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/21 10:37 PM
8

If you are open to suggestions... I post this for guys newly going through divorce or who appear to be stuck in a rut. I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback from it, maybe you can find something that would help you. Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases go…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/21 10:25 PM
3

What are you doing in your time where you don’t have the kids?
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/21 08:46 PM
2

Is WFH an option? I did this for at least two full weeks, only work half days or take off several hours early. Kids wouldn’t wake up until 10-11 anyways. I would start working at 6-7 and be done around lunch time. They wake up and you tell them get a bite to eat for “breakfast” Dad will be done working in an hour and then we are going to do X fun thing.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/21 06:36 AM
3

He could subtly ask his son and find out easily enough.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/21 09:43 AM
0

I would assume so. Just ask your son if he asked his mom to spray the stuffed animal with her perfume. Or if she offered to do it maybe because he said he liked the smell. If he says no to either of those, then it was probably planned.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/21 09:42 AM
33

Walk away. There are very very few ways you can “win” in these situations. Take it as a learning opportunity, the girl is obviously unstable to do something like this. IF what you did or said doesn’t truly deserve assault.
/r/askTRP09/01/21 03:31 AM
2

Just imagine if the dude spent half the time and energy on doing the things from the sidebar and what we suggest rather then repeatedly shit posting. He would be making some real progress.
/r/askTRP03/01/21 03:29 AM
19

Well then, right up your alley bro.
/r/askTRP03/01/21 01:33 AM
27

Don’t shit where you eat. Read the sidebar. Also, based on your post history... get into therapy.
/r/askTRP03/01/21 12:06 AM
1

Dude, there are so many sites available that will give you this information. Sites that you can plug in foods you like and it will spit out recipes for you to make. Sites that will take your current and goal weight and give you meal plans, that break your macros down if you are into that. Do some work, research, quit asking to be spoon fed.
/r/askTRP03/01/21 12:05 AM
2

Pretty much like everyone else that does those things. Be disciplined about your time. Eat a bit more good food then you would need, so you can add muscle. Get plenty of sleep.
/r/askTRP02/01/21 11:04 PM
3

You ghosted her. Learn and move on. You won’t be able to recover from this.
/r/askTRP02/01/21 09:59 PM
1

Yeah, sounds like it. If you play a game with someone, don’t be surprised if they play the same game back with you.
/r/askTRP02/01/21 09:37 PM
1

Why did you make it up?
/r/askTRP02/01/21 07:52 PM
1

Manipulation. Passive aggressiveness. And unless you were truly talking to another girl, don’t make up stuff to dread plates or FWB. Not saying you did just saying in general.
/r/askTRP02/01/21 07:39 PM
1

Suggestion, try to limit approaching girls when they are with a bunch of friends. I find it increases chances of stuff like this happening. She is and was a bitch... instead of rejecting you like a real person, just a simple “no thanks I am not interested” would have sufficed, she had to pull something like this. My guess she is young, like teenager. And if she was in her 20s then you can rest assured she is immature as fuck to do something like that. Secondly, like water off a duck’s back. Take…
/r/askTRP01/01/21 10:11 PM
1

You’re welcome, glad to hear that it helped.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/21 09:32 PM
9

Don’t know if you have seen this or not, but I post it when I come across a new guy posting their initial pre/post divorce situation here. I hope it helps you man. Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look bet…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/20 11:01 PM
7

You don’t NEED anyone man. Sure, sometimes we want someone but we don’t NEED anyone. You are enough. It might not feel like it everyday but overtime if you are focused on what you should be doing you will come to embrace it. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/20 10:58 PM
4

No, no they are not. Plate, you fuck and leave or she leaves. There is very little emotional connection. Not much talk besides superficial stuff. A FWB, you fuck and sometimes chill out. Maybe grab drinks or something to eat and then fuck (you split costs). Main point is still fucking but you could also spend a few hours with this person without wanting to pluck out your own eyes.
/r/askTRP31/12/20 10:18 PM
0

I would agree with your first two points but I think a plate will have or can have a few red flags. While a FWB would only have a couple. At least that is what I keep in mind when determining plate vs FWB.
/r/askTRP31/12/20 10:16 PM
6

Absolutely, yes! Is my life perfect, no. Is my life where I want it to be? No. But I am heading in the right direction. I have so much more peace and less day to day drama and chaos in my life. Had been married 15+ years.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/20 09:50 PM
1

Finding a good in person therapist, that clicks with you and understands your goals for therapy will be much better then a virtual therapist. Face to face adds a whole ‘nother level. Either way don’t be afraid to fire your therapist or ask them to refer you to another therapist if they aren’t working out for you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/20 05:19 AM
0

“Because it was a slow day and my number 1 pick was kidnapped, my number two pick got hit by a bus... third time is a charm, right?” No, don’t say that. She is asking you to qualify yourself a bit, based on her “good qualities” that attracted you to her. It smacks of insecurity and her needing some validation. Actually, maybe do say what I originally said. Anyway don’t answer her seriously. Tell her you appreciated her unwrinkled elbows or something silly like that.
/r/askTRP30/12/20 05:08 AM
1

If they are truly choosing signals and you aren’t misinterpreting them, then I would chalk it up to that it is “safe” for them to show an IOI when they are with someone. Specifically their boy friend, because it is less likely for something to actually happen with you.
/r/askTRP30/12/20 04:58 AM
13

She sounds BPD. Of course you don’t sound much better with the way you handled it. Move on, she sounds crazy, enjoy some peace and focus on figuring out your shit so you don’t go beating up Ex’s new boyfriends.
/r/askTRP30/12/20 12:43 AM
5

Stop asking, “are you ok?” That is so supplicating. Red flags all over the place. She shouldn’t be more then a plate.
/r/askTRP29/12/20 06:00 PM
7

He’s got some good stuff. But like most folks not everything he says is 100%. Take what you can use, throw out the rest.
/r/askTRP29/12/20 02:15 AM
3

Read up on stoicism. Also learn to live in the present, enjoy and be thankful for what you have now. Sure, recognize those thoughts of the future and then let them go on out of your mind. Focus on what you are experiencing now.
/r/askTRP28/12/20 07:47 PM
4

Is this a FNAF copypasta? I think it is... depends on past conversation context but either ignore, escalate with your own edge lord copypasta or give her shit about being a copypasta meme queen. If you take it at the surface value of the copypasta she sees you as a good thing that she wants to dig into.
/r/askTRP28/12/20 07:42 PM
1

Lack of discipline, specifically self-discipline.
/r/askTRP28/12/20 04:47 AM
9

Ok? Then don’t approach until you get your feels all fixed up? Personally I am having fun with the masks. Girls don’t know if you have a serial killer smile or a shit eating grin when you are talking to them. It also makes you communicate with your eyes. It increases the mystery too. Fun stuff. But I get the feeling of “excuses”... you do you man.
/r/askTRP28/12/20 04:37 AM
4

Hi Beeta Clausen! How many alts do you actually have? I knew it was you from the title and your post history proves it. You are the one that has been alpha windowed by your alleged BPD “GF” that you were with for 3 weeks and then had to get a restraining against you from stalking her. Dude, it is obvious you have oneitis. You can’t have her, she is no longer yours. She probably was never yours to begin with based on how you handle our feedback.
/r/askTRP28/12/20 04:01 AM
28

Dude, title of this post and username could be clues why you aren’t converting. And you are lonely... girls won’t fix that shit. You are going to be lonely even when you have a girl, eventually. Using holes to fill your hole doesn’t work. Fix and fill that hole on your own, get your shit together then go seek out girls. Girls can smell stuff like that. Be comfortable being alone. Learn to fill your life with your mission and passions so you have something to focus on. It won’t fix everything but…
/r/askTRP28/12/20 03:57 AM
2

If you are just paying directly to your Ex, with no employer (I assume you are retired) or state garnishment, then I would guess you should expect legal proceedings from your Ex. Just curious, did you not get any proceeds from marital home and/or did your Ex buy you out at the point of divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/20 12:17 AM
3

I would say it to all of you thots. Yours was only 1 of 2 I saw. I would say it to all of you peddling your soft core porn. Go post on gonewild or some other sub. “White women”, whatever, you don’t even know what color my skin is girl.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/20 11:44 PM
5

Where are the mods? Get this crap off of here.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/20 09:05 PM
1

Listen cunt fuck motherfuck, maybe she just makes those types of noises normally. Or maybe she is trying to emulate porn she has seen. You could always try to direct her to make noises that you prefer, if her current noises are disconcerting. Personally, cunt fuck motherfuck, I think those types of sounds are pretty hot.
/r/askTRP27/12/20 12:17 AM
4

But can we ignore you? As much as we try you are filling up the sub with literal shit posts. And I know shit! Your posts are shit. You are either a troll or such an autist you can’t be helped.
/r/askTRP26/12/20 11:56 PM
5

He posts the same thing week after week with his alts, he can’t be saved just like his Ex couldn’t be saved.
/r/askTRP26/12/20 11:55 PM
12

Another great reply and good advice.
/r/askTRP26/12/20 04:21 PM
3

Great reply and good advice.
/r/askTRP26/12/20 04:21 PM
6

It is sad / funny how most regulars can recognize his posts after just a few sentences.
/r/askTRP26/12/20 04:17 PM
1

You might want to check out /ParentalAlienation. Mostly similar stories. I haven’t found a lot of solutions for my specific scenario. But it is still good for picking up tips and knowing you aren’t alone. Not that I found it mattered, at all... 1. Record Document (just a short few words w date and approx time) in either a notebook or Google spreadsheet. Share that you are documenting w your lawyer. I wouldn’t send everything, because they may review it all and that could cost a lot of money. Ask…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/20 04:45 AM
3

I’ve noticed around certain holidays girls tend to reach out more, Christmas, NYE, Valentines are the biggest ones I’ve noticed. These are the holidays where girls don’t want to “be alone”. Either reaching hoping I invite them to my activities or to invite me to something they themselves have been invited to and they don’t want to go alone or show up as “single”.
/r/askTRP26/12/20 12:47 AM
4

No. And it isn’t healthy you are doing this. Learn some self-discipline, stop eating before you have an extended stomach and the first solution you think of if making yourself puke. That’s whacked man. I am willing to bet you have some other control / self-control issues going on as well. Seek therapy. Read up on stoicism and meditating. Start meditating. Get control in the rest of your life. Get into therapy.
/r/askTRP25/12/20 05:52 AM
3

You are really having to stretch to get questions in your posts. I doubt you could bang anybody for years and years. You are too autistic and they would be creeped out after a few weeks. Just like what you are doing here on this sub. You are not being told what you want to hear so you continue on asking a dozen different ways. I can see why your BPD THOT left you. You need therapy multiple times a week. ;) Go get em tiger!
/r/askTRP23/12/20 06:31 AM
4

The less lawyers are involved, theoretically, the cheaper it is. But I would involve a lawyer regardless to have them review all docs and agreements.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/20 08:31 PM
2

No. And I would never do so.
/r/askTRP22/12/20 07:19 PM
-1

I have not read your whole post yet but did want to share this... I’ll read the rest later tonight. Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feeli…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/20 09:05 PM
1

If I get that much resistance in the first 10-20 min, “Aight you can head out.” You learned an easy lesson. Don’t waste so much time if a girl is resisting you THAT hard for that long.
/r/askTRP20/12/20 05:33 AM
7

Why you start improving isn’t as important when you first start. Just as long as you start doing things to improve yourself. Over time, the reasons will matter more. Also over time you should start wanting to improve simply for yourself. Not to be “better” then your Ex. And these feelings are normal. Keep working on yourself, focusing on making yourself a better man. Regardless of what your Ex is doing. You can do it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/20 05:15 AM
4

Same story, same answers as the last dozen times you have asked here. We can’t help you. You need a therapist.
/r/askTRP20/12/20 03:06 AM
1

Wow, such anger.
/r/askTRP19/12/20 06:23 PM
2

Cool story /iamverybadass bro. ;)
/r/askTRP19/12/20 05:58 PM
4

Dude, “sidebar”? That will never catch on... we shouldn’t waste our time making this “sidebar” you are speaking of.
/r/askTRP19/12/20 03:52 PM
1

How old are you? You talk like you are a teenager or a 20 something that has watched too many movies. So, you going to kill the guy? Or be charged with aggravated assault and battery, maybe attempted murder?
/r/askTRP19/12/20 03:05 PM
2

Lol, suggesting grabbing a knife. Okie! How many stabbings have you done? That’s cute. This isn’t an Aquaman movie.
/r/askTRP18/12/20 11:34 PM
3

Yes, I am sure. You tell her, you need to leave now and please take your date with you in a discrete manner so as to not embarrass her. If she doesn’t then let her know she will no longer be included in invites. I was joking about the crowbar. Most likely just ignore, or probably better shun, physically move away from said coked up giant. While giving him the raised eyebrow look. Best not to try to match the energy of someone on coke.
/r/askTRP18/12/20 07:56 PM
30

Tell the chick that brought him to take him home. If she can’t manage her animals then you don’t want them or her at your parties. Why make it your problem? Or hit him in the knee with a crowbar. Either one should help resolve the situation.
/r/askTRP18/12/20 07:18 PM
1

The only time I do dinner dates is when I am trying out a new place, so even if the date doesn’t pan out, we’ll I got to try out some new food. That’s a win for me. I have only done 1 lunch date, she wasn’t my type in person, so I just moved on. I try to do drinks, then maybe a bite to eat but that’s cause I enjoy food. If my goal was to only have sex, I would skip the food.
/r/askTRP18/12/20 06:30 AM
2

You are right, it is all good.
/r/askTRP18/12/20 06:25 AM
6

Easy way for you to prove it, post pics. Nah, you are a self-aggrandizing narcissist that likes to type on here and waste people’s time. The fact that you are still mentally tied to a girl you really didn’t even have a relationship with and it is the main thing you talk about on here. I’ve seen you post here half a dozen times. She must have been a special unique snowflake. You must be a special unique snowflake. And your love for her must have unique and special too. Dude, get a life... you don…
/r/askTRP18/12/20 04:58 AM
6

I see you have “self improvement” in quotes... air quotes. Because based on your post history I doubt you were very serious in any of your endeavors. You want people to coddle you and you are addicted to your BPD Ex. Get into some therapy.
/r/askTRP18/12/20 04:44 AM
2

This guy posts the same shit here on a weekly basis. Nice you are tying to help him but he doesn’t take advice. He will be back in a week or two with the same set of questions.
/r/askTRP18/12/20 04:42 AM
5

Username checks out... yes, fapping makes you lose hair and strength and your vitality and your man essence. It makes you more susceptible to the devil’s lettuce and the wiles of those immoral Delilahs. Stay strong bruh, resist and Namaste! I really hope you are trolling. Edit: No, you aren’t trolling. You are serious. This is at least your second post on this topic.
/r/askTRP18/12/20 04:38 AM
2

Nope. Not at all. If I could go zero contact I would but the kids. And yeah, OP is unstable and wallowing in himself.
/r/askTRP17/12/20 04:03 AM
4

Believe their actions over their words. She may still think you are ugly, but it’s all good. Yup. Your take is right.
/r/askTRP16/12/20 07:05 PM
3

To each their own. Overall I still come out ahead financially. Especially if I use the time before divorce to prep the side hustle and then once CS and/alimony has been decided, then actually start putting real effort into the side hustle.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/20 07:03 PM
3

Good to hear man, it is always good to hear your type of stories.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/20 07:00 PM
7

Only trust it will be amicable when it is all said and done and the divorce is signed and complete and it has actually been amicable the whole time. Otherwise, it can change whenever she decides. Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your …
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/20 04:36 AM
5

Man, I am sorry to hear that. Given how she handled it, including an order that you can’t go near her or the kids. She is no longer the person you spent the last 15 years getting to know and loving. She is a different person now, it is even alright to consider her the enemy for awhile. Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and ca…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/20 04:29 AM
1

Haven’t struggled with vaping specifically. But any addiction in general, whatever it is, typically isn’t good. Even being “addicted” to things that are typically seen as positives, such as working out or your job or “success” or fucking chicks, tends to comes with a negative price. Do not allow things or people to control you. To steal a phrase, you should be the master of your domain.
/r/askTRP16/12/20 04:16 AM
6

Hey man, hang in there. I know right now it feels like your world is ending. And in a sense it is. But you have it in you to create something new. Will it be better, I don’t know. But it will be something new, that you have created and worked towards. Giving up a thousand times, and getting back up and trying again a thousand and one times. If you want to talk / chat or whatever hit me up. I’ll be spending the next few hours in a 2 ft high crawlspace in 27 degree weather, cleaning out all sorts …
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/20 11:59 PM
2

True.
/r/askTRP15/12/20 10:53 PM
5

Man, you so sus with all this anger and rage. Dude, relax... Just realize anyone can be disloyal and betray you. No matter how much you have poured into them and helped them improve. Accept it for what it is. Stop investing in the guy, move on. As some have said maybe he is insecure and is worried that just you being you, naturally, might tempt the girl. So he is pre-emptively trying to hedge his bets.
/r/askTRP15/12/20 10:53 PM
1

You can find boxing gyms that do “smart” sparring or just choose to not do it that frequently. My gym does it once a week. Most people go 50-70% intensity. You can choose who you go up against within reason and the coaches step in as soon as they see someone get out of control. Of course not all gyms are like that and yeah it is good to mention, don’t get any concussions. But seeing what getting your bell rung once or twice feels like or some body shots, with head and mouth gear, I think is stil…
/r/askTRP15/12/20 10:48 PM
1

Well obviously there is SOME reason he doesn’t want you to come along. There is SOME thing that has happened in your and his past to make him hesitant to invite you along. Personally, I think it is pretty “sus” someone throwing out such terms as “snake shit”. Also, besides hooking him up with some “bitch”, you allude to “all I’ve done for him”... hooking him up w one girl isn’t much. Did you donate a kidney to him?
/r/askTRP15/12/20 09:17 PM
2

I concur.
/r/askTRP15/12/20 03:46 PM
3

Has to do with your starting position, bungee you are going 0 mph and immediately start speeding up as your drop, cause your stomach to “feel it”. Skydiving, the plane is going x mph, you jump and you start going x-5 mph, then x-10 mph, then x-20 mph, so you don’t experience the effect of the drop as much.
/r/askTRP15/12/20 03:45 PM
6

Make a list of 3-5 short term things from this list and set yourself a goal of Dec 31, 2021. Short-term being, it would take you a day or two to complete, like bungee jumping or sky-diving. Start online researching places and prices. Set a couple tentative dates for a few months out to do x activity. For the longer-term ones, similar, start online researching. Find 1-2 things you want to do then set a goal to start by x date and como tie on for however long it takes. I create a yearly goal list …
/r/askTRP15/12/20 05:03 AM
7

Go back in two days and tell her you used all the lube up, before you were able to meet up with your hot plate. Ask her for more lube suggestions with her seductive presentation, make your move, profit!
/r/askTRP15/12/20 04:03 AM
2

This isn’t Hot or Not or /rateme, get this shit out of here. Read the fucking sidebar.
/r/askTRP15/12/20 04:00 AM
2

You looking for a “sponsor”, like a sugar daddy... Dude, you need more help then someone here can probably give you. If you mean a mentor, no. Do some sidebar reading. Reading your post history, I wouldn’t spend more then 10 minutes on you. You can only help yourself.
/r/askTRP15/12/20 03:56 AM
3

Doing the Lord’s work. Thank you.
/r/askTRP15/12/20 03:52 AM
40

I got more of an adrenaline rush bungee jumping then sky diving. I even went a few times, sky diving. It wasn’t as much of a rush as I thought it would be. I was a bit disappointed. Bungee jumping, 150 ft. or higher. Go Indoor sky diving a dozen times, then go sky diving out of a plane. Scuba diving, Earn your Open Water cert, then work on some other certs. Cave diving. Go caving, camp out in the cave. Cliff diving / jumping, 10, 20, 50 ft. Learn to surf, then try surfing 10, 20, 30 ft waves. Le…
/r/askTRP15/12/20 03:44 AM
9

I so agree with you. I am starting my third business, after one succeeded and one failed. I am around women in these business, I am around women in other situations and venues. But unless I put some effort in, I have very few approach me. Yes, a few, but not enough that I would be happy with. I actually need to put in the work. Granted,that is IF I have put in the work. If you are younger put in a year or two worth of hard work. A business, career, lifting, whatever. Then pick back up on the wom…
/r/TheRedPill14/12/20 03:41 AM
1

NGAF. Your comeback to the girl/guy actually made me chuckle. Sounds like you are doing alright. Don’t go overboard, especially with other managers etc but stand up for yourself. Work hard, get your shit done, have fun.
/r/askTRP14/12/20 03:17 AM
2

There are natural things you can do; like lifting weights, losing body fat, making sure you are eating good food (not junk food), taking zinc, vitamin D, getting enough sleep, etc. those things may help you a little bit. But to really make sure you have good T levels and not too high e2 levels you need to get specific bloodwork tests. As a teenager or someone in their 20s I would focus on the natural methods and the things I mentioned previously to help with becoming overly emotional. The low T …
/r/askTRP13/12/20 05:54 PM
1

You gave good examples. Good for you recognizing the issue and trying to fix it. I am curious how old you are and also if you have had tests done for your T and e2. Part of this is just becoming more mentally tough but I also wouldn’t be surprised if there is some hormone (high e2) issues going on. I would suggest learning about stoicism, meditating, BJJ, Boxing and visualization. Visualization, picture yourself in those emotional and stressful situations and step by step picture how you do want…
/r/askTRP13/12/20 05:02 PM
1

No I didn’t. You also think I told you to cheat. You really need to work on your reading comprehension. Never said that either. I think you are autistic. Be happy with your LTR gf that doesn’t want you to choke her.
/r/askTRP13/12/20 03:40 AM
1

Remember to think and write more about why your gf doesn’t want you to choke her. I bet she would let another more alpha dude do it. ;)
/r/askTRP13/12/20 02:14 AM
1

Uh, wot? You need to re-read what I wrote. But it sounds like you are peak alpha on your way to reaching ultra-alpha. You do you man.
/r/askTRP13/12/20 02:07 AM
1

You are so invested in this... all this writing. Drop it, find something else to do with and to her.
/r/askTRP13/12/20 01:19 AM
1

Ok? Obviously this girl didn’t like it and doesn’t want you to do it anymore.
/r/askTRP12/12/20 11:02 PM
5

She probably didn’t like how you did it the first time, so doesn’t want you to repeat your bad choking. You keep saying you did it safely and as an alpha would, showing your masculine nature. I am guessing she disagrees.
/r/askTRP12/12/20 10:57 PM
18

I wouldn’t even reply. What an entitled question... “hey boi, entertain me!!” There are tens of thousands of girls out there that don’t do shit like that. I don’t have time or inclination to spend energy on that kind of behavior.
/r/askTRP11/12/20 07:44 PM
1

If you are so busy why do you need a girl to send you nightly txt saying goodnight? That sounds needy af. Work on that along w your lifting.
/r/askTRP11/12/20 06:59 AM
3

I read it, can I have my 3 minutes back?Most likely he is the BPD.
/r/askTRP11/12/20 06:58 AM
1

$6k ain’t shit. Book suggestion you made is good though.
/r/askTRP11/12/20 06:53 AM
6

Don’t listen to these other guys, send them to me. I will send you 😘😘 emojis to make you feel special and loved!
/r/askTRP07/12/20 04:46 AM
1

If you don’t know your mission yet, you haven’t figured it out, then definitely less focus on the women. Work on self-discipline, don’t let your dick control you. While the kids are younger as well, there should be more focus on them.
/r/askTRP06/12/20 11:03 PM
3

Apps: headspace, 10 percent are two that I’ve used. I like the ability to track my sessions, that most apps offer. Just start off using their free offerings to see if they work for you. Then if you buy, wait until they have a 50% off sale. You probably could find some good YouTube channels that would give you good introductions.
/r/askTRP06/12/20 09:13 PM
16

Work out hard, heavy, often. Get into BJJ, Boxing, Muay Thai. Study Stoicism. Learn how to meditate. Start side hustles. You have to do things to put your time and energy into, so you don’t have the time or energy to be frustrated.
/r/askTRP06/12/20 08:42 PM
8

Just be a man. Just be rich. Just don’t be depressed. Just... just... just do it. Weak advice. Break it down on how to do those things, makes it a bit better advice.
/r/askTRP06/12/20 08:40 PM
1

Ok? You sound like a guy that plays a lot of video games or enjoys movies. Because life isn’t linear like a. video game or a movie. Life doesn’t suddenly become “easy mode” just because you’ve built routines or have become disciplined for awhile. While your mindset can change, and some may start enjoying it, most don’t realize it is daily hard work, day after day. Saying it gets easy sets the wrong expectation for guys reading here. It is what it is. I personally don’t think it gets “easier”. Yo…
/r/askTRP05/12/20 09:25 AM
6

Blue pill path is easy like getting fat is easy. Like wasting your life away watching TV and sitting on the couch eating cheesy poofs easy. Society and media make it easier to go the BP route. Sure you are miserable but you lie to yourself just like society and the media do, telling you that you don’t need to change for no one, just be “happy” with who you are. RP requires discipline, consistency, risk taking, etc. IMO much harder to go the RP path.
/r/askTRP05/12/20 12:37 AM
8

I think because it is a hard (hard to accept for some) truth, most people don’t like to admit it, so would rather not talk about it.
/r/askTRP04/12/20 04:36 PM
180

It is because of where they started and their journey. Fat girls have to develop personality, they typically learn to be nice and not bitchy. While hot (skinny) girls rely on their looks. As they get older and fatter they subconsciously realize their value was in their looks. As they have lost their looks, they can decide if they want to work hard to lose weight and keep it off or take the easy route and become bitter. With society’s common message given today it is easier for them to accept tha…
/r/askTRP04/12/20 02:42 PM
2

That or her friends know she is cheating on OP and feel shame for their friend. Naw, probably not that...
/r/askTRP04/12/20 04:50 AM
11

Cocaine. And guns. Also, be attractive. Don’t be unattractive. More guns.
/r/askTRP03/12/20 09:37 PM
5

It is absolutely not “mostly game-over when nothing happens on the first date”. Based on what you’ve said she is definitely still interested. I’ve found some of my best connections are with girls that I get lost in conversation with, that can hold an intelligent conversation, that are genuinely interesting and fun to talk with. That makes the pre- and post-sex times all the more enjoyable for me. When it isn’t you listening to the rocks rattle around her head or just plain awkward with silence b…
/r/askTRP02/12/20 02:14 AM
20

If you’ve invested this much time and energy do a background search on the guy, hire a Private Investigator to track him down and then a crack team of special operators to kidnap him and torture him until he tells you what you probably already can guess. No, I wouldn’t ask her. Depending on how often you check your LTR’s phone, maybe she forgot she blocked him since it has been a few months. Dude, either get a girl you can “trust” or do some work on yourself, so you aren’t so paranoid and give l…
/r/askTRP02/12/20 01:50 AM
20

I have found it best to just be honest. (Somewhat based on one of Mark Manson’s books, Models, I think it was). “To be honest, I haven’t decide yet. I prefer having an emotional connection when I have sex. So it depends on whether you make me feel an emotional connection with you or not.” I might change that up a little based on whether I want to have sex with her or not. Keeping it light and flirty. In most cases, being honest yet still coming off more IDGAF then needy has worked pretty well fo…
/r/askTRP02/12/20 12:17 AM
1

Tell him you are busy learning new stuff for work or with something else. If someone doesn’t take a hint, stop giving them hints. Tell them outright. Then put some headphones on, even if you aren’t listening to anything.
/r/askTRP01/12/20 04:35 PM
2

It’s all good, as long as you are learning from your mistakes and improving yourself. Which it sounds like you are, so good work on that!
/r/askTRP01/12/20 04:18 PM
2

Pursuing to what end? You could probably find other girls w/o so many red flags if you just want to fuck.
/r/askTRP01/12/20 06:55 AM
3

You are lowering your SMV by asking such a “beta” question. Can you go to and afford a “real” gym, then do that. If you can only afford PF, then go there. The point is, just lift. As heavy as you can. My guess is that where you workout should probably be the least of your concerns affecting your SMV. I am sure you have several other issues impacting it much more then where you workout at.
/r/askTRP01/12/20 06:15 AM
1

What exactly is your question? Either she would be good as a plate or nothing. Def not a FWB or LTR based on what you shared.
/r/askTRP01/12/20 06:12 AM
4

That is another good analogy.
/r/askTRP01/12/20 06:06 AM
50

Where is the line? It is different for every girl. It is your job to find the line and play with it. And have fun. If you dance, it is like dancing. You initially take a tight hold on her, you start the dance leading, directing her where to go. Not by pushing with your hands but with your feet, your hips, your upper body. Then you might pull away from her just lightly guiding her with your hands, even fingers maybe. Then you swing her in close with your whole body pressed hard against her for a …
/r/askTRP01/12/20 01:37 AM
1

Ok, I don’t understand women. Yeah feels, but not like that.
/r/askTRP29/11/20 03:54 PM
1

So, act like a girl? Create drama? No.
/r/askTRP29/11/20 03:17 PM
26

Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Start and do BJJ, Muay Thai and/or Boxing 3-6x a week. This will help you mentally…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/20 02:34 PM
1

Read the sidebar. Go lift heavy weights. Read the sidebar again. Go lift more heavy weights. Go read the sidebar... again. And some of the other books that are suggested. Repeat.
/r/askTRP29/11/20 03:12 AM
2

I would be cool, as in somewhat disinterested, slightly aloof, say “hey.” And that is about it. I wouldn’t be overly friendly, as far as I am concerned he needs to earn your trust back. As well, I would think through what I would actually do if he pulled something like that again.
/r/askTRP29/11/20 01:52 AM
3

Something like that, I would give one chance. I would make it very clear that if it happened again I would respond. I would be vague and not “I am very badass” with my response. But him doing something like that shows zero respect. And could injure you over a stupid reason. It sounds as if you’ve made it clear you didn’t appreciate the “joke” or whatever he considers it to be and he apologized. So that is good.
/r/askTRP29/11/20 01:40 AM
2

Absolutely post. I see guys from the UK post somewhat regularly. Generally the advice will be similar. The legal portion is what may be different.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/20 12:26 PM
1

RPWomen is a pretty good sub, would be better for her to post there, to keep us focused on our topics.
/r/askTRP23/11/20 05:39 PM
4

It’s good to not sugar coat the truth, as you would probably eat that too. Jk! Seriously, good for you looking for insight and feedback. That is an awesome first step! You should make a post in RPwomen, that is the right sub for you and they will have some good feedback. That being said... First thing I would suggest though to anyone that says they are depressed AND overweight. Start doing some exercise, even if just simply walking outside for an hour each day. Put in some earbuds, listen to mus…
/r/askTRP23/11/20 02:35 PM
3

Tell her to get it on her neck or forehead. Anything less means she doesn’t really love you. Dude seriously, such a big red flag. If you don’t see it you deserve what you get.
/r/askTRP22/11/20 08:47 PM
19

I agree with your dad. Focus on yourself, pass the test, change your career. Don’t bank your future on a woman simply for the fact that she makes you feel good, either emotionally or physically.
/r/askTRP22/11/20 07:51 PM
1

So, don’t point it out.
/r/askTRP21/11/20 11:44 PM
1

Not a question re-post w a question. But I get what you are after... Find some group of boys that want to learn some skill that you know, teach them. Become a coach in a male dominated sport. Become an instructor and only take male students. Nit that those kids or students will make it into your will but you obviously have a desire to pass something on.
/r/askTRP21/11/20 10:15 PM
1

Learn to cook your own good food. Then you won’t be so thirsty when someone tries to tempt you with their food.
/r/askTRP21/11/20 08:44 PM
3

Chicks dig guys w confidence, muscles, strong frame, and guys who know what they want in life. Grey hair, your young fine hair, no hair... for most girls it has some impact but doesn’t make or break it from my experience. If YOU want color it. If not don’t bother.
/r/askTRP21/11/20 05:23 PM
5

Do I want to fuck? If yes, I think of her as a human who I want to fuck. I’ll put up with her being human. Just like she puts up with your stinky hairy ass, your BO, your stank breath and you being human.
/r/askTRP21/11/20 05:21 PM
13

Tell the dog to get off the bed. If the dog doesn’t get off the bed then kick the dog off the bed. Gently.
/r/askTRP20/11/20 04:57 PM
3

I am jealous, in a good way, of guys that can have amicable relationships with their Ex’s after divorce. 98% of my communications are met with attacks and accusations. I am dealing with parental alienation. It is all so tiring. Good for you man, enjoy the normalcy!
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/20 04:41 PM
2

After a while you will be better able to gauge what you can ask vs suggest vs just tell her. But I would say you saying date/time and place was probably fine. Some girls won’t be down to meet up no matter how you bring it up.
/r/askTRP19/11/20 02:03 AM
14

Show up. Be sure to bring two dozen roses. 0_o From what you shared, you did nothing wrong. She didn’t confirm, unless she confirms I would assume date is not on. Only go to the bar if you had plans to go there anyways.
/r/askTRP19/11/20 01:23 AM
5

Dude, who are you talking to? OP says right up front, this isn’t his story, he pulled it off a YT comment and is just sharing it.
/r/TheRedPill18/11/20 08:37 PM
16

Self-discipline. I use self talk, “Adorable_FecalSpray, you need to complete some unpleasant tasks today. Tasks A, B and C. You need to complete them by 15:00. What’s my first step to completing task A?” And then... a distraction. “Adorable_FecalSpray, ignore that distraction... it’s only a Thot asking for attention. Do first step for task A. Just do it now, it will take around 90 minutes. Set a timer, beat 90 minutes. Go. Now.” 86 minutes pass... “First step for Task A completed, reward yoursel…
/r/askTRP18/11/20 08:17 PM
2

This is the way.
/r/askTRP18/11/20 07:57 PM
3

I would cut back elsewhere financially and be members at both gyms. PF is $10ish a month for basic membership, $20ish for Black Card. Though not being able to bring your pup to PF sucks.
/r/askTRP17/11/20 04:18 PM
8

Move on.
/r/askTRP17/11/20 04:16 PM
11

El fin
/r/askTRP17/11/20 04:16 PM
1

You can ask, but I won’t share, opsec. :)
/r/askTRP16/11/20 07:25 PM
1

Ikr!!!1 Your dad should have asked for his cum back, from your mom. I was replying to OP by relating a personal experience and levels of comfort around “risk taking behaviors”. You obviously were triggered by it. ;)
/r/askTRP16/11/20 04:27 PM
0

No, but I’ve been coming all over your mom’s face for a long time.
/r/askTRP16/11/20 03:43 PM
2

Last night I fucked my FWB w/o a condom and shot my load all over the outside of her pussy and stomach. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Eh, everyone has different levels of comfort with risk taking. I am sure we all have lots to lose. Do what you feel you need to to minimize your risk while still living a life you can enjoy.
/r/askTRP16/11/20 03:38 PM
1

Paragraph 2 and 4, right on. First paragraph is wrong, paragraph three is as well. You don’t HAVE to have experience with women to be able to show amused mastery.
/r/askTRP14/11/20 09:36 PM
19

I dunno man, maybe don’t ask close ended questions or expect her to lead a conversation. As a man that is your job at least initially. I have added a plate, a FWB and gone on quite a few dates since COVID hit. Whether it is online or IRL, the premise is still the same. Make them curious, make them feel feels, make them laugh.
/r/askTRP13/11/20 10:11 PM
31

Apologize, why the fuck would you apologize? Did you do something wrong? You had a friendship, you changed the dynamic a little bit. You are the man lead her in how you want this thing to go. She is unsure, you have fallen into her frame and don’t know what is going on. Decide what you want and act like it. You liked the flirty fun you use to have w this girl, then be flirty and fun. Act like you had a good time hooking up and that you still enjoy her company. Whether she ends up a plate or a FW…
/r/askTRP12/11/20 02:32 PM
3

You are right, no one has ever asked this question before. It is very unique and special, just like you. I make it a point to bring it up before we have sex. That way she can decide if she is good w it or not. Rather then telling her after a month and her feeling like I deceived her or led her on. Many times if the girl is aware enough you can just tell her with your actions, not being available, not immediately texting her back, etc. When she asks what you were doing be somewhat vague, that you…
/r/askTRP11/11/20 03:11 AM
3

Ignore. Or a single reply of “Plan B, sounds like you aren’t very careful with all the guys you letting fuck you. Probably should get checked for STDs while you are at it. 🤤” Really, best to just ignore.
/r/askTRP10/11/20 03:42 PM
21

You must be giving off bad energy. You need to get your chakras adjusted and drink some Kombucha. Seriously though, once or twice it is coincidence. More then that, you are the common denominator. You must be doing something to cause this if it happens more then a couple times.
/r/askTRP09/11/20 06:16 PM
2

I wouldn’t consider making a video game the same as playing. That’s for you to answer. Look up side-hustles or second jobs. You need to figure out what you are willing to trade your down time for in your hobbies or income generation.
/r/askTRP08/11/20 04:25 PM
-2

Find an avenue or hobby that makes you some money. Or just find another hobby, even if it doesn’t make you money. Income sources not tied to your 9-5 are always good.
/r/askTRP08/11/20 03:42 PM
1

“I like licking your ass”
/r/askTRP08/11/20 02:35 AM
21

Hmm, him leaving really isn’t your call. It is your mom’s. IF she wants him to leave she needs to put her big girl panties on and tell him to GTFO. Don’t take on other people’s problems and make them your own.
/r/askTRP06/11/20 12:33 AM
3

This is perfect.
/r/askTRP01/11/20 06:33 PM
2

My name is awesome, just like my suggestions! ;)
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/20 06:31 PM
1

It all depends, on body language, what is being said or threatened. Can I walk away from the situation w the girl? If I can walk away from a fight, I do so. 99% of the time it is stupid to fight. Learn to verbally defuse potentially violent situations. At the same time learn how to protect yourself and your loved ones.
/r/askTRP01/11/20 06:28 PM
2

Woooosh!
/r/askTRP01/11/20 09:38 AM
13

In-laws? If you have a good relationship with them keep it. If you don’t, then you don’t do anything with them. Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can …
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/20 07:36 AM
9

Things get better. Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Start and do BJJ, Muay Thai and/or Boxing 3-6x a week. This wil…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/20 07:01 AM
5

To your first point... Someone here can probably suggest a sentence that is concise and will explain that she is a cheating slut in a few words while still remaining tactful, to help get the idea across, if that is what you want.
/r/askTRP01/11/20 05:28 AM
4

It all depends. Do you know this girl? Are you willing to be seriously injured or lose your life over her? Are they just messing around or are they seriously trying to take her away somewhere she doesn’t want to go? First off, make it a point to not be where gangs and/or thugs hang out. If that can’t be helped then you have to make a few choices. Which requires quite a bit of training and being willing to hurt or kill other people. This will change your life forever and I don’t particularly reco…
/r/askTRP01/11/20 05:25 AM
41

Why confront her? You know what she is. Move on. Don’t even talk to her anymore. She is cheating trash. I would buy that guy a drink the next time I saw him though.
/r/askTRP01/11/20 04:00 AM
2

I am in the corporate world. We have had huge company wide pushes for empathy and understanding, working through feelings and the like. Both with external customers as well as internal colleagues. We are now having training sessions on this a couple times a year. I think that this is tied pretty closely to the whole Diversity movement. Which is basically hire more diverse candidates regardless if they are the best one for the position. I have seen very well qualified candidates turned down becau…
/r/askTRP31/10/20 09:51 PM
1

Oh definitely. Maybe she will use a strap-on on your chocolate starfish while her boyfriend mounts your face.
/r/askTRP31/10/20 09:37 PM
7

She wants you and her boyfriend to have hot sweaty fight sex and she will video record it for her onlyfans. You shouldn’t let something so minor continue to occupy your head. Yeah, she was giving you validation. So... what you going to do with it?
/r/askTRP31/10/20 09:08 PM
4

No, not Italy. Terrible gaming in Italy. France, yes. England, yes. Estonia, Slovakia, Turkey yes. But Italy, just no. Really? What type of shit question is this? Learn to game where you are at or where you will be. It is as hard or as easy as you decide to make it.
/r/askTRP31/10/20 08:29 PM
5

You aren’t “superior”, you know some bits of information that MAY help you in your life IF you implement it consistently and properly. That doesn’t make you superior. Do you think someone who has 10 years of guitar practice under their belt is superior to someone that doesn’t know how to play the guitar? Do you think someone that has studied advanced physics for 5 years is superior to someone that has only had one semester in Physics? It more sounds like you are prideful and a douche. Get over y…
/r/askTRP31/10/20 05:02 PM
4

It’s their nature. Do you get mad at a puppy for begging at the table for scraps? No. You ignore them or re-direct them and then reward them later when you catch them doing what you want (or what you have “trained” them to do).
/r/askTRP31/10/20 04:25 PM
10

Be sweet and charming but not overly so. Act dumb but not too dumb. Let them feel like they are helping a stupid man. Because they are.
/r/askTRP28/10/20 02:05 AM
2

I would say, in a friendly but direct tone, “Hey man, I am sure once I am here awhile I will get a good grasp of how to take care of things. You’ve been here x years and you seem to be doing well. I’ll just follow your example.” Or something along those lines, with a firm voice but not with too much of an edge to it. Then make it a point to work your ass off to understand and learn your job responsibilities well, so you can prove yourself to others AND yourself.
/r/askTRP26/10/20 12:16 PM
29

Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Start and do BJJ, Muay Thai and/or Boxing 3-6x a week. This will help you mentally…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/20 07:19 PM
1

This is a good question for you OP. What actions are you taking to become a jacked dude yourself? What are you doing to address those insecurities you referred to?
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/20 07:16 PM
2

Sounds like you are heading in the right direction. Sorry to hear about your loss man.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/20 03:55 PM
2

I originally set a goal for myself of one year, to work on myself (BJJ, Boxing, Muay Thai, therapy, hobbies, travel, focusing on myself and my kids, trying to start 2 businesses, etc) before I started dating again. I ended up going about a year and a half before actually jumping back into dating. OLD started off slow for me but has picked up a little in the past nine months. And really picked up for me in the last two months. Good that you learned your lesson, I don’t mean that in a harsh way, a…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/20 03:50 AM
1

Do you want to game more then one woman? If so you will make the time. If it isn’t a priority to you then stop wasting time thinking about it. Continue doing your hard work making a good living for yourself. Guys prioritize different things and in doing so make more time for those things they are wanting to invest in. Whether that is adding another plate to a barbell or another plate to their list. When you read the stories, take what you can learn from them and don’t get wrapped up in the fear …
/r/askTRP23/10/20 03:18 AM
2

Well either they are “broken” or you are broken. My money is on it being you that is broken. ;)
/r/askTRP23/10/20 03:10 AM
1

Tighter, different hole. An act of submission on her part. Does it legit get her off? If it does, I personally find that hot. If a girl is into you, she is more likely to be willing to let you try/do anal. Another indicator of interest.
/r/askTRP22/10/20 08:20 PM
3

I typically give two suggestions for date/time, if she doesn’t give a specific date/time in response to either I don’t give much thought to just moving on. If she has given other high indicators of interest, I may suggest a 3rd date/time but no more after that. If she wants to see / truly interested in you she will adjust her schedule.
/r/askTRP22/10/20 07:28 PM
1

Then walk up and talk to people in real life, preferably girls. Use your wit and charm to get her to take her clothes off in the cereal aisle, make a joke and get her to laugh about eggplants and yams, get her number, ask her to grab a socially distanced Extra Caramel Caramel Macchiato with you while you wear your masks, etc.
/r/askTRP22/10/20 06:55 AM
1

Uhhh, what is this post COVID dating? My state only recently started to loosen up, but has been pretty tight since March. I’ve been on quite a few in person dates since March, most of the girls aren’t my type, can’t hold conversations, just boring or various red flags that didn’t come out during online conversation. I have currently added another plate to my rotation 1 month ago. Just got a msg from someone 18 yrs younger then me saying they just wanted to meet up for sex, but would like it to b…
/r/askTRP22/10/20 06:23 AM
16

I dealt with similar divorce experience and currently deal with similar family things a bit. Fortunately my folks (and female siblings) are mostly at peace about it. Every once in awhile they (mostly mom) isn’t. But she just still has that old school mentality that a man needs a wife to be complete, there is that ONE special girl out there for me, she just knows it!! I have yet to say, “No mom, there are currently 3 special girls out there for me... but not for marriage.” (No, I would NOT really…
/r/TheRedPill21/10/20 03:26 AM
6

Dry spell? No. Coping by lifting, running, biking, just started back up w BJJ and Boxing, meeting girls and going on dates. Watching documentaries or “how to” videos on things I am interested in. Working on house projects (home automation, etc). Probably a few other things.
/r/askTRP20/10/20 01:48 PM
1

Talk to everyone. Hot, ugly, young, old, men, women, high-class, low-class, educated, uneducated, all the red flags and perfectly sane... You should be using it as practice for the more “serious” interactions. Use those interactions to learn what makes people laugh or respond. Who the fuck cares if it is awkward (obviously you do), you aren’t LTR’ing these people so you shouldn’t care. If you can’t hold a conversation with a 4 as easily as you can a 9, that just tells me you are focused on “pret…
/r/askTRP18/10/20 05:45 PM
1

No. Girls can suffer from “death grip” and become de-sensitized just like guys can. She should cut it out and learn how to get pleasure from someone other then herself.
/r/askTRP18/10/20 02:49 AM
1

Jocko Willink https://jockopodcast.com/ Look for podcasts w David Goggins in them. Not sure if he had his own. Then I would just search for podcasts and the names of the authors of the rest of those books.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/20 07:14 PM
31

Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Start and do BJJ, Muay Thai and/or Boxing 3-6x a week. This will help you mentally…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/20 09:38 PM
2

Wot? This is your GF but you say “your mother in law”?? Go out and get a better girl, with a better family.
/r/askTRP12/10/20 01:41 PM
3

If you “don’t care” then why are you asking? You obvs care. You missed an opportunity with her. If she is really in to you she will give you another chance. If she doesn’t give you another chance, well she wasn’t that much in to you.
/r/askTRP12/10/20 01:38 PM
1

Be honest and up front. Tell her you are not interested in a relationship or that you are just looking to date (and have fun) for now. She will decide for herself if she wants to continue on interacting with you. If she catches feels for you that isn’t your issue, as you have been honest with her from the start. And related, you can fuck someone and still care for them / about them as a person. And not fall in love with her or lead her on. Show her a good time, by having a good time yourself. Yo…
/r/askTRP11/10/20 01:54 AM
15

Yes. I show her my sex chart. It lists the girls name, her favorite color and how many times she made me come, along with a five star rating system. Seriously why would you? They will most likely ask either directly or indirectly. You don’t have to tell them and shouldn’t.
/r/askTRP09/10/20 08:07 AM
1

If you can handle it financially, on your own. You won’t save as much, have as much to save / invest / spend on yourself. But you won’t have to deal w potentially shitty roommates, since you don’t already have some lined up. Or go in w roommates and save some money, have more money to save / invest / spend.
/r/askTRP09/10/20 05:53 AM
3

That could very well be the case, possibly creating codependency.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/20 11:39 PM
3

Tell him no and it is because I as your Dad LOVE spending time with you and also I had planned a special even / adventure with you during that time. I am almost always planning special adventures, nothing too complex or expensive, but where the focus is solely on the kids. And I repeatedly tell them I want to spend as much time with you as I can because soon you will be grown and out on your own and the time we have now together is really special and I want to make great memories with you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/20 06:50 PM
10

Based on the DSM criteria... In the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), [4] BPD is diagnosed on the basis of (1) a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and (2) marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by at least five of the following: Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment; this does not include…
/r/askTRP07/10/20 06:05 AM
3

Maybe she had explosive diarrhea earlier in the day, maybe her hemorrhoids were acting up. Sometimes as much as you want you can’t make people just “open up for you” and be your cum slut anal queen. You need to recalibrate yourself.
/r/askTRP06/10/20 09:43 PM
4

Samson and Delilah, is the ultimate Nice Guy story.
/r/askTRP06/10/20 02:49 PM
1

It’s all good, she was just awkwardly entitled flirting. Have fun!
/r/askTRP02/10/20 12:42 PM
4

Yeah, she is trash or has some mental disorder.
/r/askTRP28/09/20 09:15 PM
1

I assume the trash is being left on the ground? If so, then it is trash throwing trash. Why? Because she is lazy and entitled.
/r/askTRP28/09/20 08:32 PM
4

Father, brother (if I had one), mother, sister, very small group of male friends, pastor or other older / mature male RP Christians. And probably lastly a therapist. But yeah, sometimes you need someone to come along beside you and tell you, “hey brother this stuff is tough, you are (or are not) correct in your thinkings and feelings. Now what is your next action / step to move past this and not get stuck?” As much as I might want to “whine” or vent to get emotional support, I know that isn’t ef…
/r/RPChristians28/09/20 03:19 PM
3

Insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. Lifting, while very useful isn’t the end all and be all of RP. Sometimes you need an objective 3rd party you can just talk to. A lot of times I find just talking out loud and getting some useful verbal prompts help me work through things 98% on my own. Father, brother, mother, sister, male friends, pastor or other older / mature RP Christians.
/r/RPChristians28/09/20 03:14 PM
8

Father, brother, mother, sister, small group of male friends, pastor or other older / mature male RP Christians.
/r/RPChristians28/09/20 03:11 PM
5

Home workouts, jogging, biking while things were shut down hard. Recently gyms started to re-open so getting back in to lift and box. Haven’t started back up w BJJ yet.
/r/askTRP28/09/20 02:59 PM
2

Ok Mary.
/r/askTRP28/09/20 03:30 AM
2

I am too tired to explain it all but basically women will never love you the way you need to be loved or the way that you love women. They will love how you make them feel. But they won’t truly unconditionally love you. Buy a dog for that type of love. If that “schtick” you used got you laid, then maybe still use it? But realize, and I will do some assuming, that the only ones that stuck around were the real fatties, low self-esteem, etc. If you don’t like that “schtick” anymore then yeah kill i…
/r/askTRP28/09/20 03:20 AM
2

Sperg, a derogatory slang term for someone with Asperger syndrome, autism spectrum disorder or someone showing traits that are commonly associated with it.
/r/askTRP28/09/20 03:12 AM
3

Get a therapist. Unload all your insecure fucked up shit on them. Make them promise to never tell anyone (jk, patient therapist relationship, they don’t talk about your fucked up insecure shit). Talk to other people about the cool shit you have done or are doing or plan to do... and then make sure you do that cool shit.
/r/askTRP28/09/20 03:08 AM
5

Yes.
/r/askTRP28/09/20 03:01 AM
5

Tell her that you will share one tenant of RP for every time she swallows your load or takes it up her bum. I think there are like 1,657 tenants of red pill. Seriously though, just ignore.
/r/askTRP21/09/20 04:25 PM
1

First of all good on you for looking out for your little brother and helping him improve in this area! Make it fun and exciting, as some others have already said. Parkour or free-running, all sorts of tag type games, other types of running games for the HIIT and cardio stuff. Play chase around a playground, climbing up and down and through the playground itself. You chase him, let him chase you. Pretend one of you is a zombie, if he likes zombie type video games. Even better if he has some frien…
/r/askTRP21/09/20 04:13 PM
32

I can guarantee when the hard times hit, you will gladly take your words back. Go read some real accounts of countries falling into civil disorder. People aren’t “put in their place”, they are either killed or starve to death. And unless you are a well prepared mid to high level “Operator” you will just be part of the same fodder as everyone else.
/r/TheRedPill20/09/20 12:31 AM
4

They want you to tie them up and do wonderfully nasty things to them. Or they are just flirting. Test how serious they are. Reply in the affirmative. Tell them how you are good with ropes, double entendres, innuendoes, flirting...
/r/askTRP19/09/20 06:50 PM
3

When you are focusing on one thing it is many times because you only have that ONE thing. Get more, you won’t focus so much on that original ONE thing. So developing connections with more girls in general will help. And by connections I am not saying LTRs, just connections... talking flirting, fucking. That being said, don’t rely on women to validate you and your feelings. Learn to get validation from your own hard effort (at work, the gym, your side hustles and hobbies). It would be similar to …
/r/askTRP19/09/20 05:21 PM
54

“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”
/r/TheRedPill18/09/20 09:47 PM
1

Wat?!? Willing to bet she is projecting. If you do it, you deserve what you get man.
/r/askTRP18/09/20 08:26 PM
2

Glad this worked out for you!
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/20 01:38 AM
5

Her place. Maybe a hotel if I was getting a hotel for some other reason. Maybe my folks place if they were going to be out for a few hours. I don’t care to have sex in a car. Or in the bushes. Or behind a dumpster, fighting off raccoons (don’t ask, the therapy is helping). Sex isn’t the end all and be all of my existence. If I am having sex I want to be comfortable. I don’t care to bash my knees into little rocks and pine needles just to dump my cum into a “9”.
/r/askTRP08/09/20 05:29 AM
1

Dude, you fucking rock! You should be so proud of yourself! That is some awesome work man!
/r/MGTOW208/09/20 05:22 AM
16

Man, I get you. I’ve dealt with some similar shit. Broken trust and it really messes with your head. Whether you have had your trust actually broken by a girl or you are just dealing with RP philosophy, you have to work through it. Stop the porn. Stop masturbating. Maybe even stop focusing on girls for a bit. Stoicism will help. Meditation will help a little here as well. Girls... hot girls, not so hot girls, girls that you can “trust”, girls that you can’t “trust”... this is in your head and yo…
/r/askTRP08/09/20 05:10 AM
6

Goggins, pretty much, and others seem to espouse the “no breaks” mentality. But man, that gets tedious to me. I am all for taking a few days or a week to cross off some “bucket list” destination or adventure that I have for myself. Sometimes, just heading out into the woods and camping for a few days, nobody else, is enough of a recharge for me. I take the time to just let my mind think thoughts while hiking or sitting by the fire and then get back at it.
/r/askTRP08/09/20 02:23 AM
10

You don’t have to become a Navy Seal, you need to work towards and meet your own success, whatever that is. But yeah, just keep manning up. Plan and give yourself breaks from the grind for a few days or a week, recharge, refocus and then get back to it.
/r/askTRP08/09/20 01:20 AM
19

Become a Super Villain. Sounds like you’ve had the start of the life for it. Or... start by reading / listening to Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins. You will be able to relate to the some of stuff he went through. I’ve had a rough past 15 or so years. Sometimes things get better for a day or week. But typically not longer then that. Then “something” happens. Sure, it sucks sometimes, but that’s life. Life isn’t fair. What matters is what I repeatedly do, whether I am disciplined or not. Just keep …
/r/askTRP08/09/20 12:51 AM
1

Up for less than an hour and you deleted it. Disappointing.
/r/TheRedPill08/09/20 12:40 AM
9

Depends exactly how BPD they are, determines the type of situation you are risking. Maybe as little as lots of texts and calls when you don’t respond as quickly as they like or maybe you end up with a dead goat on your bed with it’s blood soaking your sheets and a restraining order entered AGAINST you, preemptively. Who knows, but what a fun ride!!
/r/askTRP07/09/20 11:48 PM
5

Flip the script... “Hey bro. You know, when someone goes on and on repeatedly about something that typically indicates extreme mental insecurity about whatever they keep talking incessantly about. Seeing how you won’t shut up about your dic you might want to talk to a therapist or see a doctor about that.” Also... “But recently he has started”... ... “he’s been going on about this everyday for the last 2 years”. Which is it? I don’t really care... but lying and extreme exaggeration indicates som…
/r/askTRP06/09/20 04:04 PM
4

Get a lawyer, she should be paying child support if you have sole physical custody if your girls. Good luck man, you all will be better off without her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/20 08:35 PM
2

Sounds like the answer is, both. Just because someone has known you for x years, doesn’t make them an expert on how you are living your life and whether you are succeeding or not. Soft next him. On the other hand, sounds like you need to not care so much what others think or say about you.
/r/askTRP05/09/20 05:58 PM
2

Fail fast. Learn faster. I believe something can always be learned from a failed venture, whatever it is. Maybe not much or it isn’t very transferable. But even just focusing on yourself and how you could better handle the failure, mentally, emotionally, etc. To me, that is useful. Also you might be missing something that could be learned. I’ve found it useful to talk over failures with a couple of my family members or close friends that I trust. Some of the time they are able to look at it from…
/r/askTRP05/09/20 05:43 PM
4

A plate, “trustworthy”? Do you want to have someone that has lied in your life? Then sure, hook up. If you would rather have someone in your life that hasn’t broken your trust, ignore her.
/r/askTRP03/09/20 01:52 PM
2

Because not everyone is a quitter. Because even those that are truly down trodden can still choose to have hope for a better life in whatever way for themself.
/r/askTRP16/08/20 09:31 PM
2

No, no suggestions. If you can’t even help yourself by reading some nicely laid out basics (sidebar) nobody can help you. Well you might eventually find someone to spoon feed you but not many here.
/r/askTRP16/08/20 01:51 AM
8

If I felt that I or a loved one was in danger of bodily harm and there was no reasonable way for me or them to get away. But in probably 99% of cases I wouldn’t fight even though I have a year plus of BJJ, Muay Thai and Boxing under my belt. While I have definitely progressed there are too many variables when it comes to a street fight. Does the guy have a knife, some friends that are hanging back, is the GF crazy and have mace? I conceal carry as well. When I made that choice I also made a choi…
/r/askTRP16/08/20 01:33 AM
1

Lack of abundance.
/r/askTRP15/08/20 03:32 PM
1

Cool? Must mean he loves you and deeply cherishes your friendship and can’t wait for you to meet back up w him and his mates and for you to make an ass of yourself again. Do what you want. But if you yourself aren’t embarrassed by your choices and actions and for the embarrassment you probably caused him and learn from them and improve don’t know what to tell you mate. Calling ambulance is just basic human decency. Doesn’t mean he wants you as his friend any longer.
/r/askTRP15/08/20 03:31 PM
1

Have you matured and changed? If so reach out, don’t expect them to throw you a party but still reach out if it what you want to do. If you are still the person you were when you got fired then I wouldn’t bother.
/r/askTRP15/08/20 03:13 PM
1

If you care about your friendship then you wouldn’t have put your friend in that situation. Don’t do drugs or if you are going to do drugs don’t do so much you black out and need a 911 call and an ambulance ride to the ER to make sure you are alright. Also of note, he doesn’t value your friendship as much as you value his. If he did he would be checking on you and then calling you on your stupid shit choice. Learn from it and move on, you lost this one due to your excessive drug use.
/r/askTRP15/08/20 03:05 PM
2

Cool. You might also want to check out The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck.
/r/askTRP15/08/20 03:11 AM
3

Check out the book / audiobook, The Co-dependent’s User Guide (a somewhat satirical look at being Co-dependant). Also No More Mr. Nice Guy would be useful. Get the audiobooks and you can use the travel time to listen.
/r/askTRP15/08/20 01:26 AM
3

It is my pleasure. Check out your local library for some of those books. In fact there are a few apps (free) along w your library card (free) that will allow you to get the majority of those books either digital version or audio for free. Apps: Libby, Hoopla, Overdrive I was able to get a library card from my town’s library w/o even leaving the house, was able to do it all online. For the weights, if you don’t have access to a gym or weights check out bodyweight exercises. For example Convict Co…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/20 03:22 AM
4

Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce to start doing (these are just basics). Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence. This can help w feelings of anger too. Start and do BJJ, Muay Thai and/or Boxing 3-6x a week. This will help you mentally…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/20 01:29 AM
1

Whatever one you consistently do every day. There are lots of things to try out and follow but really the main thing is, pick something and stick with it for at least a month, consistently. Then re-asses if you think it is helping you reach your goals. Check out Convict Conditioning (you can find it free online, typically in a .pdf), lots of body weight exercises. It is a program that starts you off in the easiest positions and as your strength advances the forms progressively get more difficult…
/r/askTRP12/08/20 03:27 AM
5

Hnnnnng Brrrrraaapp!
/r/askTRP10/08/20 11:13 PM
6

Hold (the) Beef
/r/askTRP10/08/20 11:12 PM
11

Hoping (for) Bananas.
/r/askTRP10/08/20 11:11 PM
5

Only once she cleans his chocolate starfish with her tongue will he be passed the shit test / taste.
/r/askTRP10/08/20 11:10 PM
4

Have you read the sidebar?
/r/askTRP10/08/20 05:20 PM
4

These are best bad boy brands and will help you slay mad womenz!!!!!1 Affliction True Religion Gucci Tap out Fruit of the Loom Hanes Kmart
/r/askTRP07/08/20 11:16 PM
1

You screwed man, just gotta give up now.
/r/askTRP07/08/20 11:14 PM
2

You shouldn’t care and neither should she... IF she was invested in you. That being said, who knows.
/r/askTRP06/08/20 09:47 PM
0

Just arbitrarily, for no reason? No. I always have a reason for rejecting a girl. Too sarcastic, crossing one of my boundaries, too many shit tests that are overboard, too difficult in following through on plans, etc. It sort of sounds like you are letting a bit of “power” go to your head. Which is silly imo. But if you get off on that, just means more women for the rest of us. ;)
/r/askTRP06/08/20 07:29 PM
40

Hard next, she has a kid with him. She is obviously invested in him. You shouldn’t be LTR’ing single moms.
/r/askTRP06/08/20 07:24 PM
2

Start small... give her a fist bump, then. High five, then squeeze her bicep (such big muscles), grab her hand and tell her that her fingers are too long or look weird (teasing), touch her on her shoulder, then do it again but give it a squeeze, walk/sit closer to her and let your hips touch, while side to side wrap your arm around her waist and squeeze her in to you, touch or fix her hair, touch her hands again in some way., touch her knee while talking passionately about something, do all of t…
/r/askTRP06/08/20 05:35 AM
15

You can do lots of things. Probably the best thing to do is to ignore the stories and go about living the best life you can, focusing on self-improvement and reaching your personal goals.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/20 02:26 AM
3

Yes. Make sure you wear a condom and don’t leave them out where she can get them before or after.
/r/askTRP05/08/20 02:13 PM
2

Good breakdown and advice.
/r/askTRP02/08/20 09:03 PM
2

I find that I get more prolonged and at times, intense, eye contact while wearing a mask. You appear more “mysterious”, which can be beneficial. It is helpful to learn to communicate through your eyes. A wink now, I have found, carries more weight, is more impactful. Since the girl can’t see your mouth and what emotion you are portraying before you give her a wink. I am having fun with the masks. Also it makes robbing banks easier, so that is nice. To actually answer your question: women use dat…
/r/askTRP02/08/20 03:48 AM
12

Also go through her underwear drawer and sniff them. She will appreciate that you like fine clothing.
/r/askTRP25/07/20 02:19 AM
2

Get a little scrub brush, Amazon has fingernail scrub brushes, for a few bucks. Keep it in your shower or by yourself sink. Put some soap in it and scribe your nails and hands once a day. It helps keep them looking nice and your hands a bit softer, especially if you do manual labor or lift weights a lot. While girls like my callouses and almost always comment on them, rough callouses on your hands can catch on their skin and that doesn’t feel sexy.
/r/askTRP14/07/20 04:43 PM
9

Are you getting paid by the hour? Answer all their questions and look at all their toys. ;D
/r/askTRP14/07/20 04:39 PM
1

Check out the /IntermittentFasting subreddit. Lots of apps out there to help you w IF. Vora Zero Fastic Are all ones I have used. They each have their pros and cons but they all get the job done, tracking your fast and telling you when to eat.
/r/askTRP14/07/20 04:37 PM
3

Wot?
/r/askTRP14/07/20 03:31 PM
1

I’ve done this a few times, it works well. Then take her back to your place to clean the guns and then plow the field.
/r/askTRP13/07/20 02:41 AM
0

You should ask for her number, cold approach but only after you mainline your drugs. Then bang her on the therapy couch. ;P Make a list of topics you want to cover before you go into therapy and give her the list. Sometimes you need to direct the sessions so you can be sure to cover all of the things you want to talk about.
/r/askTRP13/07/20 02:39 AM
1

I can see you are totally invested in the drug culture and using it to improve yourself. Keep up the awesome work mans!
/r/askTRP12/07/20 01:02 AM
1

Mmmmmmkay.
/r/askTRP12/07/20 12:53 AM
1

Considering your writing skills and ability to convey your main thought(s) were atrocious, my thought process was simply drugs aren’t helping you. And seeing that you seem pretty defensive about the drugs and apparently dependent on them my point is strengthened. Mmmmkay, yes.
/r/askTRP12/07/20 12:48 AM
1

Giving you feedback man.
/r/askTRP11/07/20 11:47 PM
3

You shouldn’t do drugs, it is killing your last few remaining brain cells. None of this makes sense or should matter.
/r/askTRP11/07/20 10:05 PM
1

I just saw a 42 year old woman on Bumble that had “wants kids” selected in her bio. I mean, more power to ya, buuuut not the smartest choice. I really hope your genetics are on point.
/r/askTRP11/07/20 02:33 AM
66

Save screenshots of the previous messages if you can. Those could come in handy.
/r/askTRP09/07/20 10:07 PM
1

Yeah, I second the second.
/r/askTRP08/07/20 10:39 PM
2

Oil wells, cattle farms, dive bars, laundromats... this question doesn’t even reach RP 101 level, it is sub 101. Go outside where women congregate or exist and that is where you will meet them.
/r/askTRP08/07/20 10:14 PM
4

He already has a blog, some other good writings are there, check his profile.
/r/TheRedPill07/07/20 03:28 PM
148

Fuck. That was absolutely beautiful. Don’t talk about Fight Club but definitely share stories like this with those young boys asking questions.
/r/TheRedPill07/07/20 05:55 AM
2

Or Cialis. I prefer Cialis, doesn’t cause me to get a stuffy nose or flushed. I would suggest taking it a few days before just to see how your body reacts. Get yourself turned on, typical response is you will be rock hard. But doesn’t just give random bikers either. I found doing that helped take away any worry of “BuT wHaT If iT DOesN’T WoRk?!?” For the realest-up take it about 1-2 hrs before meeting up. Cialis is also longer lasting.
/r/askTRP05/07/20 08:04 PM
17

Why not hard next? There is no reason not to hard next. She has proven herself after a couple weeks of not so smooth going. You want to spend more time with this girl that will bail on you and hit up an old classmate at what sounds like the drop of a hat. Anyone that suggests not hard nexting is still choking on that blue pill. I doubt anyone here will suggest you try to “talk it out” with her.
/r/askTRP05/07/20 02:04 AM
2

Check out Care.com, there are other sites but I’ve used Care a couple times. But yes plan for someone you CAN count on. Probably would be good to have 2-3 options if you can only guarantee 10 days a month as many nannies would want more time (income) then that. I’ve told my kids, who I spend a huge amount of time with and investing in them, “I’ve told you since you were little, if I could I you would be with me 100% of the time because I love spending tome with you. But I have to work. The only …
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/20 09:04 PM
1

See him even less, talk to him even less. He critiques you, look at him with a poker face and say nothing and then walk away.
/r/askTRP03/07/20 07:36 PM
1

Return on Investment Return on investment is a ratio between net profit and cost of investment. A high ROI means the investment's gains compare favourably to its cost. As a performance measure, ROI is used to evaluate the efficiency of an investment or to compare the efficiencies of several different investments.
/r/askTRP03/07/20 02:41 AM
1

Did I say walk away? You have to figure out your ROI and if it is worth it to you. Everybody has different levels of tolerance.
/r/askTRP02/07/20 11:34 PM
22

Basic stuff, read the sidebar... one word answers, long time to reply to texts, not asking your questions, not agreeing to firm meet-up plans. In person, playing w her phone, not making eye contact, keeping her space / staying away from you physically, rejecting your kino attempts. Again, read the sidebar.
/r/askTRP02/07/20 06:10 PM
1

Only if you do it raw and creampie her. -_-
/r/askTRP01/07/20 12:30 AM
2

Maybe he wants to touch your butt but is afraid to cold approach.. If he is insecure it sounds like his problem.
/r/askTRP30/06/20 03:06 PM
1

It is a journey. If your Ex is High Conflict (HC), it will take you longer. Mine is HC (and also undiagnosed high functioning quiet BPD). I am just over 2 years out from the divorce and I still have bad days, stressful weeks, still have to occasionally involve my lawyer since my Ex constantly threatens x y z and sometimes follows through w her threats. She has turned at least one of my kids against me and impacted another but not to the same effect. The others are 70% in the Dad camp. Not that I…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/20 06:11 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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