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C0mpL1c1t Archive

View 0 posts and 137 comments by C0mpL1c1t on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 04:32 PM
10

My career was not derailed only because I'm self employed and gritty AF; the former allowed me flexibility and the latter ensured I didn't let things fall through the cracks... Despite being a small business I have worked very hard to bend our organizational structure to humans in the birthing and early child rearing stages. We have 10 weeks paid parental leave (that stacks with STD for birthing humans), allow PT work schedule for up to 2 years after the birth and are now (post-Covid) fully remo…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 08:44 PM
11

Yes. All of this. Anytime I was home, I was The Default Parent. It's very hard to convey to someone who has not actually lived the experience. The absolutely relentlessness of the demands completely suffocating any possibility of being anything more than just someone whose purpose is to care for others. While there are many men stepping up and being real partners in parenting these days, there are still very few that have actually bore the suffocation of being both the primary wage earner AND th…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 08:20 PM
27

It is true that we never know the butterfly effects of any singular choice we make. But. Between working full time and being dedicated to being a GOOD MOM, the last 15 years of my life have been practically nothing but sacrifice and I've got 10 more to go. And that's without even considering the massive financial hit I had to take from getting a divorce 10 years later than I should have, because I was trying to "stay together for the kids", which means instead of retiring at 50, I'll be working …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 06:38 PM
60

As someone who loves my kids more than anything in the entire world, and I would absolutely give up my life to save theirs… If I could go back in time I would never have had them. Precisely because I do love them so very much, I am compelled to do my very best to be a good mother and provider. This comes at a near total sacrifice of myself for decades. And although the return my love, they can’t even begin to appreciate the gravity of what I’m giving up for them. (Nor would I want them to as I w…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 06:00 PM
–

The level of articulation and detail in this post combined with your use of "NPC" to describe her flat affect makes me think that there was probably a gross misalignment of personality and intelligence here. And I'm going to go out on a limb and say that is probably going to be an ongoing issue for you. Godspeed.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 03:37 AM
2

My current SO has the second smallest dick of any guy I’ve ever seriously dated … and he’s also the only guy to ever give me an orgasm from PIV sex. He makes me feel safe, is attentive, and uses his whole body, not just his dick. While it’s disingenuous to say size doesn’t matter at all, it is true that it MOSTLY doesn’t matter. ETA my ex-husband of 20+ years was what you call “massive”. I’ll take the incredible sex I have with my small dick SO over my ex- ANY DAY. Size matters so much less than…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 10:34 AM
3

Your post title is a begging question the incites criticism.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 02:42 AM
3

Ditto. Also, I get incredibly annoyed when people co-opt legitimate causes/issues for their own personal gain as it gives opponents fuel to say it isn't real and delegitimizes the entire issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 08:03 PM
–

I have never had better than "meh" casual sex. That said, someone who is invested in your pleasure, and wants you to feel safe, desired and full-filled is what is the most important, not how much "experience" or "options" he has.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 07:21 PM
4

I don't wear make-up at all, unless I've got a work event or going on a date. I can't even wrap my head around why a woman would wear make-up for herself or for other women; that has just never made sense to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:47 PM
5

I think demographics matter on the second one. IME, more highly educated, left-leaning men tend to be fine with it, but the conservative, less educated men tend to feel emasculated by it. This is primarily a consequence of their own values and how they see their own role within a relationship (i.e., being a "provider" versus a "partner").
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:41 PM
28

It is INFURIATING to me that I ended up in such a bad marriage when THERE WERE SIGNS. I just ignored them. Yes I was young. But still. I am smarter than that. And I can't even blame limerence since we were well beyond that by the time we married. Probably mostly fear of being alone and due to my upbringing the toxicity felt normal. BUT GODDAMN IT, the SIGNS WERE THERE AND I IGNORED THEM.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:36 PM
12

Sexism gets scapegoated by women who fail to perform up to expectations professionally. (Please note I am ABOSLUTELY NOT saying that sexism does not exist in the workplace because it 100% does. However, there is a subset of woman who use this as a handy "out" instead of taking personal responsibility for their failure.)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:32 PM
–

😂😂😂
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:29 AM
–

Yes. All women are a monolith. Like all men. And all black people. And all Christians.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 12:10 AM
2

In terms of #1, I don't know how I'm supposed to do anything about other people I don't know being sexless or not? In teams of #2 and #3 my answer depends on butterfly effects I can't know the answer to. Like if I start banging guys other than my SO, does that then make my SO suicidal (as I know he struggles with depression as it is)? And/or what about the effects of inter-partner competition among all those guys I'm banging simultaneously? For #4... um, my libido is already higher than his and …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 09:10 PM
–

This question implies that a person would only find one “type” attractive? For me, my preferred “type” is merely a small preference, but these individuals still comprise a small percentage of the overall population of guys I’ve dated.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 09:08 AM
–

Sometimes I read these posts and just think “Who TF are these guys hanging around that they have these impressions?!?!”
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:28 AM
–

All men are just rando walking meat sacks until they say something interesting. Someone being clever and kind increases their baseline attractiveness and sex appeal times a bazillion.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 05:22 AM
2

E’rybody livin in the sociocultural echo chamber of their choosing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:58 AM
1

I might my SO via “cold approach” though it was at a professional convention so there was context.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:15 AM
2

Ummm… yeah no this has to be a fake post. Theres no way a real live adult man thinks that most women do this.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:56 AM
2

If someone treats sex as a “reward” rather than a mutual joy GTF away from them!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:45 AM
0

As a Gen X’er, I met my SO 5 years ago IRL and most of my single friends are meeting guys randomly IRL. It’s not a dead art! 💜
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:43 AM
3

Same height as me or taller. (I am 6’). This is a pretty hard line for me. I have always strongly preferred facial hair over not. I prefer brown eyes but almost all those I’ve dated have had blue. I prefer dark brown hair but have dated all colors, including gray and red. I prefer chubby but have dated all sizes, including extremely thin.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/22 02:54 AM
1

1.) I am much more selective than most men but I’m definitely turned on by looking at a naked man, primarily one I’m emotionally involved with. And I prefer a specific body shape that has love handles but not a beer belly. And body fur, please. 2.) Not even remotely true. I’ve had a few female encounters, basically opportunistically (and really who doesn’t love boobs) but fundamentally what lights my lust fire is men. 3.) if a guy buys me shit I wonder what his ulterior motive is. Just don’t. 4.…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/20 11:44 PM
1

You are assuming the desire to fuck came before the emotional connection. I feel sad for you that this is the only way you understand human emotional connections!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/20 05:22 PM
3

For most women, physical infidelity begins with emotional infidelity. Sometimes there are many months or even years in between those benchmarks.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/20 05:04 PM
2

Attractive + Fit + Intelligent + Good in Bed > /GoodInBed/ This isn’t rocket science. Also, while I will never understand pain being a part of sex, beyond that, I’m sad for people who never get to experience any of the uninhibited joy of “kinky” sex. Life is too short. Carpe diem, yo!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 05:48 PM
1

Fundamentally it seems like this is “the one that got away” concept. Although this is something that is popularized in media, it isn’t something I really know of IRL. I am 40 years old and I’ve literally do not know of a single female IRL who actually harbors this mentality.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 04:27 PM
1

I’m guessing you perceive these behavioral characteristics as uncommon?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 01:44 PM
1

I am totally confused about what anal and facials have to do with the ability to have “high standards”?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 12:19 PM
2

I am glad that your strong intellect and/or work ethic provided you a conduit for success and confidence. I think most of us are “skinny and ugly” in adolescence; it’s really a terrible time for the ego!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 12:16 PM
3

I agree with your assessment that young people can be pretty awful. Age may have brought me some gray hairs but it has also bequeathed a lot of patience, wisdom and capacity for compassion. All-in-all not a bad trade-off!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 02:50 AM
4

I had to google “alpha widow”. I am fascinated by these dualistic standards! I’ve dated all kinds of guys up and down the scales in terms of looks, warning power/potential, emotional availability and intelligence. I can clearly articulate (what I perceive as) the pros and cons of each and don’t really perceive any of them as super-special-no one-else-can-live-up-to status. I honestly didn’t even realize that was a thing!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 02:33 AM
0

It goes both ways man! Women fall just as hard for guys, especially in our youth!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 02:28 AM
3

This makes me so sad. I’m sorry that people have treated you so carelessly. It baffles me how people can be so incredibly unkind!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 02:26 AM
3

Are you speaking just physically or also personality wise?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 02:22 AM
1

Love is nothing if not equal. You must find a relationship with balanced admiration and love!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/20 01:22 PM
1

What do you mean that “in relationships you don’t have power”? What does that phrase mean to you, personally. I’m genuinely interested to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/20 01:22 AM
1

I’ve always preferred “husky” dudes. I am into neither skinny dudes nor muscular dudes. This is a bit hypocritical since I’m fairly thin myself but there’s really just no accounting for taste. ::shrug::
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/20 05:48 PM
2

Being challenged is fun. It brings out the inner warrior.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/20 05:11 PM
3

Everyone wants to feel special.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/20 04:04 PM
1

Intellectually spar, kindly, with a lot of eye contact.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/20 04:02 PM
2

Yessir ‘tis.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/20 10:23 PM
2

And this is what happens when a man with a bit of wisdom talks with a kid in possession of more ego than understanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/20 05:01 PM
1

I think both sexes want a person who treats them will love, respect and kindness... and will fuck their brains out. So I kinda agree with you. Am I allowed to do that on a CMV thread?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/20 07:22 PM
1

I’m not cynical at all. I’m a 40 year old doe-eyed baited-breath romantic through and through. I agree that real love can have that but it doesn’t always. Limerence always does though. So the Venn Diagram has overlap but the latter doesn’t prove the former. KWIM green bean?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/20 06:16 PM
3

Is this satire?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/20 01:31 AM
4

Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 10:54 PM
1

He has stated that he is “taking the house”. We are both attached to it since it’s the only home our kids have ever known. I do not know how that will play out. His lawyer has already made overtures to mine about the balance in my company’s retained earnings account. And his initial filing identified all of my K-1 earnings as “income, resulting in initial child support request actually being for more than my net salary. He does not want to ever work again and is seeking a financial resolution in…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 07:33 PM
2

I agree with you. After I wrote that I realized how one-sided it sounds, in terms of me as a martyr and him as a horrible victimizer. The truth is that over time we both fell deeper and deeper into roles that were not what we intended or wanted. And I’m sure his list of ways in which I failed him is quite lengthy. I wish I could truly know what his list is (no matter how painful) just because I do want to learn from my mistakes and not repeat them. I will say that I have noticed some cognitive “…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 06:15 PM
2

I think this is very insightful. How many times have we heard from older men in our lives “I don’t want my daughter/sister dating a guy like me!” 😳😳😳
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 05:14 PM
1

I agree with you construct of what makes a human desirable/valuable: working to be the best version of yourself. However I don’t think that translates into alpha/beta. My interpretation of those terms is relatively steeped in evolutionary biology though so maybe my interpretation doesn’t align with RP’ers either?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 04:59 PM
0

Those “women” are likely “girls”. Adolescents are fairly unilaterally insufferable.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 12:03 PM
1

My mom actually has that disorder. I cut ties with her completely 14 years ago and have never looked backs. That is a personality DISORDER though, not a TYPE. As I work to understand how my marriage failed, including being honest with myself in owning my part in its demise, I can recognize how the long-lasting ramifications of having a mother like that made deeply insecure and willing to get into a relationship with someone who was not willing (or able) to give me the things I wanted (or needed)…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 12:00 PM
1

Secure attachment is what healthy relationships are made of. Are you saying 80% of women are willing to accept unhealthy relationships and you prefer that arrangement?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/20 08:46 PM
2

I cannot wrap my head around how anyone can thing DREAD is a positive thing in a healthy closely-attached relationship?!?! RED FLAG!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/20 02:23 PM
1

I cannot wrap my head around how anyone can thing DREAD is a positive thing in a healthy closely-attached relationship?!?! RED FLAG!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/20 02:22 PM
5

It’s super weird and, IMO, offensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/20 02:02 PM
1

This post should be modified to say “people with asymmetrical assets”. Ask me how I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/20 07:16 AM
1

Depends on the person. Anyone who tells me they just want to use me for sex is not getting the time of day. To be clear though, I think A is ethically unacceptable, even if I think it is more likely to achieve your desired outcome. Using/hurting other people to get what you want is not ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/20 07:07 AM
3

If women don’t appreciate male bodies then explain the Diet Coke (or was it Pepsi) commercials of the 90s and 00s.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/20 04:20 PM
1

My personality allows me to meet people IRL pretty easily. Combine that with the fact I’m reasonably intelligent, reasonably attractive and financially independent, and I don’t really have a problem “attracting” men. Thus I am unlikely to pursue this avenue even once I am single again post-divorce. In theory I do think that the rapid coarse filtering of a dating app does provide some value. However that assumes a level of honesty in profiles that probably isn’t really there when one considers th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/20 01:38 PM
4

But not all women fall for these kinds of guys. That’s the piece you TRP dudes keep missing. This shit only works on a subset of the female population.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 09:47 PM
3

You’re asserting that having sex with less men makes your vag a scarce resource and therefore more valuable. The problem with this logic is that with 7B people on this planet, no matter how many dudes a chick fucks, her vag is still a “scarce resource” by objective statistical standards. This is a case of emotional attachment to an idea then creating a falsely ascribed status. You’re applying scarcity theory as it relates to mate selection incorrectly, IMO. Based on the the various schema Y’all …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/20 04:55 AM
1

Probably none? The most significant ones: 1.) the summer before I started college I broke up with the cook I had been dating for 2 years. He adored me but also wanted me to be a SAHM in a double wide. I wasn’t interested in that. 2.) The guy I dated the first two years may be a narcissist or he may have just been struggling with the transition to adulthood, same as me. After reconnecting 20-ish years later he now randomly drunk propositions me through social media though. He dumped me back those…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/20 03:04 AM
4

The lusty can’t stop thinking about them clinginess want to be with them all the time, they’re the most attractive gorgeous brilliant person you know phenomenon. I think I remember the primary hormone is PEA? It even makes you nauseous and fucks with your sleep. I’ve read extensively trying to figure out what I think about where the line is between where limerence ends and love begins. I think it’s a fade thing though. As the limerence wears off there’s a potential for deep attachment (love) to …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/20 12:14 AM
6

I think probably limerence is confused with love by at least some individuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/20 11:35 PM
2

I agree with a lot of your list except I give zero fucks what kind of clothes someone wears and am actually a little turned off by the “metrosexual” look. Also I love that the hipster trend has brought beards into vogue. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this; I can finally kind of relate to guys ogling women in bikinis on a beach!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/20 04:55 PM
1

I mean no ill intent with this inquiry but can you connect these thoughts for me? I can think of several ways to interpret this comment but I’m unsure which one you intend and I would like to.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/20 04:47 PM
1

In general, introverted thinkers and I get along quite well, regardless of their specific area of expertise. I will caveat that I tend have intellectual synergy with other intuitives (Ne/Ni don/aux) just because of my “what if” thought processes. In terms of romantic partners, I think all the “scientists” I have been involved with have been EE/CS types, probably due more to circumstantial proximity vis-à-vis social circles than anything else? At this point in my life it’s reasonably apparent who…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/20 04:42 PM
1

In the past I had a few trysts with females. Women are soft and cuddly and smell good. And I think pretty much everyone loves boobs. But fundamentally when I think of what I want sexually it’s very much male. With the “sapiosexual” comment, which I put in quotes because I’m aware of all the controversy surrounding its use, I was just trying to say that it is someone’s mind that really lights me on fire. “Chemistry” is a real thing. I remember once many years ago in college, I was actually on a d…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/20 04:30 PM
1

I am a science geek and am perhaps borderline “sapiosexual” so I may not be the best person to answer that? I was recently talking with a friend who externally looks a lot like me, personality wise (we are both fairly boisterous/social ENFPs) and they who commented that they are drawn to “big personalities”. In turn I replied that every guy I’ve been romantically involved with since I was about 16/17 has been an introvert. We were sort of talking about why that is. I noted that most all the men …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/20 04:04 PM
1

I don’t know if I’m interpreting your reply correctly? When I was younger it was mostly the IQ piece. Now in middle age, although I maintain that criteria steadfastly, I also now require kindness and ability to communicate. I do find some of the terms used in this cult to be fascinating. I really have no clue how I rank in incel world and it’s probably best that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/20 02:13 PM
8

Low EQ or low IQ.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/20 07:39 AM
1

This presupposes to know the value scales of every person, based solely on sex and it’s flat wrong. How old are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 12:11 PM
2

Sometimes the stay at home partner decides they’re going to do that without the agreement of the other party. The wage earner gets penalized twice - you have to keep supporting because you once did, even though the desire to stop being the only financially responsible party is part of what precipitates the divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 03:29 AM
2

The anecdotal data set of my life is largely one of a dude asking me out, kissing me, etc. I think in at least a few of these cases, the guy was making a concerted effort to/for my interest. So, my life’s experiences refute your hypothesis.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 03:21 AM
6

The statement that the woman “gets” children assumes the man doesn’t want them. I’ve known plenty of men who WANTED children.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 10:37 PM
3

In the first few weeks/months people tend to fuck like rabbits, say 4-14 times a week. By a year out I think most folks are still around 3-4 times a week? After about 2 years, I think it probably settles down to 2-3 times a week. In the looong term, I would say that an average of about once per week is sort of the bare minimum. I think a lot of people prefer to stay closer to that 2-3 times a week but sometimes life responsibilities probably get in the way of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 09:22 PM
1

While I agree that college (especially the earlier years) isn’t necessarily the ideal long term relationship meeting place, also I am lead to question if your problem is sample bias? Are you trying to get into relationships with females who are obviously not into that?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 07:20 PM
1

Yeah well if I had a nickel for every time a boy has made derogatory comments about my height “You sure are an Amazon aren’t you?” For reference, I am 6’0”.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/20 09:33 PM
3

When I was much younger. Now I’m grateful for all the experiences that produced the people who constitute an important place in my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/20 05:00 PM
18

What I’m really hearing is that you’re asking if someone can be aware it’s possible to sociopathically manipulate people but chooses not to? I assume most humans treat one another with decency even though they know assholery is an option.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/20 10:38 AM
1

The Venn diagram of our mutual acquaintances contains zero humans thus I am unsure what magic you are expecting me to conjure?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/20 08:26 AM
1

I understand conflicting data refutes your unscientific conclusion and creates uncomfortable cognitive dissonance but you are indeed wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/20 08:16 AM
1

And I’ve met “betas” with an “n-count” > 100. There’s so much nonsense these thirsty dudes make up to justify their own self-loathing!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/20 08:13 AM
4

Like he learned from his mistakes and is making more mature decisions now.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 09:43 PM
1

I don’t feel bad about men endeavoring to “get what they want”. To the extent that our actions do not harm others, I think we all have the right, even a duty, to pursue our happiness. I do think that some of the perspectives advanced in these Red Pill / Blue Pill discussions are detrimental to one another and society at large. To the extent that we demonize and vilify the opposite sex, and objectify our fellow humans we are creating harm though.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 06:22 PM
1

I would invest all my time in my kids and professional empire building.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 02:48 AM
1

This is hard to explain so bear with me. Take a dude that’s a “5”. Then he shows his intellect. Then he shows his sense of humor. Then kindness. As these things are revealed, my brain begins to see an 8 or a 9 or a 10. An average” guy actually looks sexually swoon-worthy when you’re “into” them. I don’t want them “for” their comforting qualities. I actually find them sexually more desirable. The eyes see what the heart feels. I don’t understand how it works but I know it’s true.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 01:33 AM
2

For me, when I use the word “average” to describe either sex, it is mostly a reflection of IQ/EQ and then the way the individual interacts in life / society as a result of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/20 12:18 PM
1

Perhaps
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/20 03:05 AM
1

This is the only way I can conceive of him having such a skewed perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/20 03:04 AM
0

Are we in 1950? I am a mother, nurturing, attractive is subjective but I think I’m ok, pretty slim, only curvy because of the wonders of cosmetic surgery. But I also own a business, am the provider for my family, am usually the comedian in a couple, and I’ve been told I’m damn charismatic. At 6’ tall I have the stature thing covered too. I don’t know why a man or a woman would want their significant other to be submissive? That’s an employee - employer relationship, not a loving partnership. Why…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/20 04:01 AM
1

Can you tell me what you mean by “gender role” for each gender?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/20 03:41 AM
2

Oooooo I’m an idiot. I missed the sarcasm. You’re good; that’s my bad!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 05:18 PM
1

Are you implying I’m being disingenuous? What on earth would be my motive?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 10:19 AM
7

I guess all the guys I’ve had sex with are just imaginary or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 01:08 AM
3

I see where you’re coming from with this and there are certainly some elements of that. I mean, I did expect the emotional availability and intimacy to increase over the years, not be stagnant. That said, across a lifetime as pairs collectively make choices that increase the joint responsibility burden, there is an expectation that the individuals will both grow together to meet that challenge. So there was a bit of blinder wearing and short-sightedness on my part, but there was also some dising…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/20 06:34 PM
7

I think that “ripped” guys look like aliens. My ideal body type for men is on the heavy side of what the CDC says is healthy/normal with a bit of “love handles”.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/20 03:19 PM
5

You have to think generously of your partner and their intentions and interactions. If you fail one another often enough, that becomes impossible. Then new behavior patterns must be established. There’s lots of reasons that may not be possible or even desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/20 12:40 AM
6

The lack of attraction and desire is the thing that makes me realize things are not right. Ultimately lack of physical intimacy is a deal breaker but there is a time of coming to terms before the break off. I just realized the OP is probably referring to people who do this shit for 5 or 10 or more years.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/20 12:31 AM
25

It’s always falling out of love. I guess the two best examples are: My first serious boyfriend in late high school, I was going toward college and he was talking about us getting a double wide together and he was also drinking too much and gaining a lot of weight (like, from 280 to 320) and I just realized that our lives were diverging as a result of our different goals in life. My soon-to-be ex-husband (after 20 years)... it’s pretty complicated, but fundamentally I stopped living in the delusi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/20 11:57 PM
21

I stopped being attracted to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/20 09:38 PM
5

This is ridiculous is so many different ways it’s hard to even debate it. Fundamentally though, love and companionship are never obsolete.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/20 03:22 AM
7

I would say there is likely a sample bias in your data set.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/20 06:48 AM
0

No
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/19 11:53 PM
4

I provide for myself so a man’s “resources” are relatively irrelevant. Emotional maturity and communication skills are hella important though.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/19 11:44 PM
1

A man being sexually attractive means I have to be having kickass conversation with him. In which case I keep doing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/19 10:21 PM
4

Looks are what initially attract. But if the personality is lacking, it’s a no bueno. If I get the chance to get to know someone and they have a bang-up personality but aren’t very attractive, I can totally overlook that, as long as there is chemistry. Chemistry is funky and not directly correlated with objective measures of “attractiveness”.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/19 10:21 PM
3

The eyes see what the heart feels. Are you making solid intellectual/emotional connections with these women?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/19 06:47 AM
4

I do not “date down”. Someone might be less objectively attractive than me but they have some other positive quality that makes up for it. I will say that not being with someone on par with me intellectually becomes very difficult over time and I don’t recommend it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/19 03:00 AM
2

I do think that people of lower social status generally dismiss the problems of those more privileged than themselves. It’s pain olympics; since I have it worse I don’t have to care about them. Which is tragic and very wrong. Honestly I think providing men adequate outlets for testosterone fueled things AND outlets for basic human emotions outside of horny and angry are both two huge things that are lacking. Recognizing estrogenics in the environment. Recognizing the golem effect of our infantil…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/19 02:42 AM
2

Is there any consistency in feedback? A major complaint I got through my 20s was that I was too bombastic. I didn’t even realize I was being that way; I had just been programmed for defensiveness since childhood and naturally responded with a sword and shield, even when it wasn’t necessary or appropriate. Even though I “heard” it, it took many repeats for it to sink in.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/19 02:07 AM
2

This is a tautology.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/19 11:56 PM
2

If you know you’re the problem then what characteristics are problematic?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/19 06:27 PM
3

There’s legitimate lack of support for men and women in a whole variety of ways. Culture steers us along gendered career paths, with men being chided for being a murse and women working in trades are assumed to be incompetent. The world has a long ways to go to support both genders appropriately through education and into the professional realm.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/19 06:22 PM
3

I suspect you are too. It sounds like you’re hurting a lot and it’s hard not to experience that as anger, which is somehow more destructive but less painful.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/19 05:25 PM
6

We are certainly the common denominator in our own stories. Insecurity is the root of many relationship woes. Fear definitely leads to the dark side. You don’t sound like you lack self-awareness; why are you miserable?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/19 05:21 PM
5

She’s sounds to be rather self-centered and immature. Unfortunately kindness and emotional availability are not unilaterally endowed in all females, any more than they are males. I’m sorry she hurt you. I don’t know your circumstances but likely you didn’t deserve to be treated that way. ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/19 05:11 PM
1

That’s a given, regardless of what I said. This I opted for sincere empathy instead of conflict.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/19 03:51 PM
2

This comment says a lot more about you than it does about her.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/19 04:49 PM
3

Given my post, I feel like this is meant in the opposite of the normal context. To that end, I think I mostly do find them? My wandering youth has resulted in the adult iteration of me having viscerally negative reactions to people I see as being grown up versions of the kids who outcast me as a kid. And I tend to strike up conversations with everyone else I can, including, especially, those who seem uncomfortable in whatever group setting I’m in. For me, the quip about an “ENFP finds and adopts…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/19 01:45 PM
3

I am highly extroverted and, within reason, have always had my pick of a variety of options. With only a very few exceptions, I have always dated introverted men. They like me and I like them. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/19 06:28 AM
2

Wit and charisma.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/19 06:23 AM
1

As far as I am aware, rules are steadfast. You are effectively saying that statistical outliers do not disprove rules. But in fact that is exactly how it works. You can have a great “fit” between variables and thus model the relationship based but that isn’t the same thing as a “rule”. That said, I never said your generalization was wrong, only that there are exceptions, wherein you doubled down on your original assertion, and then we slid sideways into a debate on semantics which is rather yawn…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/19 03:46 AM
1

I’ll even give you heuristic. But not rule.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/19 03:36 AM
1

You’re confounding “generalization” and “rule”.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/19 03:35 AM
4

Actually that’s exactly how hypothesis do not become theories.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/19 03:30 AM
2

We’re not analyzing anything. I’m simply saying your superlative declarative statements are incorrect.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/19 03:24 AM
2

Do you really think I would have made that comment if it didn’t reflect my own personal circumstances? 👀
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/19 03:21 AM
1

Ah-hem. Marriage is a scam to prop the already easy lives of dependent spouses. Ain’t just XXs freeloading these days, yo.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/19 03:17 AM
2

I have both but think our culture values both way too fucking highly. Deep trusting relationship? Yes! Legal contract? Fuck no; if you’re really worried about the estate in the event of death then set up a trust and call it a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/19 03:16 AM
2

I’ve dated men from a few months younger to about 16 years older. Most of the men I’ve been in relationships have been 2-6 years older. The “easy” answer is that men often mature so much more slowly that I have generally been dating men on par with me, regardless of the age gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/19 03:16 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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