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View 1 posts and 371 comments by CB4life on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
17

CB4life/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 04:04 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
56

Plus, they met when she was 18, just started college, and he was five years her senior but they had the same class. So like, either she was in a way advanced class or he was still taking basic first year classes in his fourth or maybe fifth year of college. And then he clearly pined for her the whole time and then eventually she agrees to date him years later, and this is what happens. She sounds like a go getter. No, houses, cars, and jobs do not just “appear”. She worked for all of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 05:04 PM
22

And they actually benefit more from selling you a more expensive home because the commission would be higher. I have never heard of a realtor trying to get their client to spend 1/3 of their budget. Housing markets are crazy right now but that just seems weird, it’s more likely realtors show people houses that are above their budget.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 09:05 AM
7

Plus the entitlement that as a guy he perhaps doesn’t have to worry about his safety as much by falling asleep at parties. Women cannot get away with that because the risk of sexual assault. We don’t have the liberty of falling asleep near strangers like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 10:46 AM
8

I enjoyed that episode and thought the advice on how to respond to all those unsolicited “hey acquaintance from high school please buy my mlm product” messages was spot on. I can see how life coaching would be the same kind of thing, and it’s also pervasive in the fitness realm (like with beach body coaching, just trying to get more people signed up, sell shakes and programs, but the coaches are not seeing much money from that at all).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 10:44 AM
39

Grocery shopping is one of my least favorite chores. I would never do this as a date. The one advantage of pandemic is now most stores do curbside pickup and delivery (although for fresh produce I prefer to choose it myself).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 09:41 PM
9

Plus there are so many strays and abandoned animals that need homes, there is zero point in letter your dog run around impregnating other dogs in the neighborhood and making more puppies who might not find good homes. I know for some people they want to be able to breed their dogs on purpose but that is a more limited scenario.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 08:43 PM
22

I have no idea what he was thinking! I guess they will just always “shoot their shot” and hope for sex, even if the odds are basically zero, and even if that means making some woman they don’t even know super uncomfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 08:22 PM
58

Yep some guy started walking along beside me outside once and I told him I had a boyfriend and he asked if we could be friends with benefits then. 🤮 I had never seen this guy before in my life, we had been “talking” for less than a minute (mainly the conversation was him asking me questions, me giving lies as answers and trying to find a way to cross the street and get away from him).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 05:30 PM
185

His version of “doing things around the house” was probably putting a dirty mug in the sink one day and throwing his dirty clothes on the floor near the laundry basket. Amazing that that wasn’t enough!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 11:53 PM
34

Yeppp watching American idol and hearing the lyrics to Whitney’s song “I have nothing if I can’t have you” and I’m like 🙄.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 12:47 AM
22

Yep, and I also see couples who have several kids together after ten years and they’re still just “engaged” or not even at that point. Like, kids are lifelong commitments- if you are with someone who isn’t sure they want to marry you why are you having multiple kids with them??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 01:14 PM
37

The detial is insane- If you look at the shelf the marvel and DC comic heroes are separated onto their own shelves. They really thought through every detail of it. So if this is a fantasy I just don’t get it. Like, you want to have a partner you completely ignore who just stands in the doorway waiting to be at your beck and call and you couldn’t care less? Whyyy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 05:42 PM
209

I visited a country in South America and there was a weekly magazine with news and analysis articles (kind of like the economist) except in the middle there was a freaking centerfold of the woman of the week with a photo of her in scantily clad clothes (like lingerie). It was basically soft core porn in what should have just been a regular magazine. It’s crazy (and sad) how ubiquitous misogyny is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:06 AM
172

Yep, if marriage is something he is so “indifferent” to, then why doesn’t he do something that will make his partner very happy? Because he doesn’t care about her and he doesn’t want to marry her. They’ve been together for 11 years. They could elope tomorrow and that still wouldn’t be called “rushing into marriage” since they’ve been together and talked about it for so long. Every day she stays with him is just another day she devotes to someone who doesn’t care for her the way she wants to be c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:48 PM
16

Because everywhere in society has told us from the day we were born that we shouldn’t be alone, that single women must be the villains or unhappy women or there’s something wrong with them and that’s why they can’t land a partner, and our life goal should be finding a partner, no matter who it is, or how bad they treat us. It’s insane how much this message is best over our heads, and it takes a lot to break from it and realize yes you can find happiness by yourself. Coupling up is not the best a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 11:20 PM
55

Plus with so many people working from home having a dedicated office space is awesome. They say you sleep better if your room is designated just for sleeping, because then your brain mentally associates that space only with rest. I would love to have extra rooms, one for art, one zen space for yoga, etc etc. Also I do like having my close family to stay so having a designated guest bedroom is nice too. I generally live in apartments with at least two bedrooms and would love a house some day all …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 10:41 PM
30

It’s like that annoying cliche- “happy wife, happy life” which is basically saying that the only reason they want to make their wife happy is to appease her and make their own life better. People who say that don’t want to make their wives happy because they care about their wife and want her to be happy, they just want to keep her happy to benefit themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:51 PM
34

Even people who are scamming men are almost always also men, posing as women. Even if women are involved on the scammer side they are almost never the ones running the show.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 08:39 PM
44

Yes, there are a ton of scammers who target elderly people and specifically pretend to be grandkids and say things like "dont tell my parents, I'm so embarrassed, but I need help!" so then the elderly person doesn't even try to reach out to others to question it. Anyone who travels abroad a lot and has relatives back in the US should talk to their family about these types of scams and come up with an exact plan on how they would actually be contacted if you really need help (a common scam is "Im…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 08:38 PM
23

Did you se the guy who made that girl gal into the tracks and just ran away? OMG.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 11:36 PM
91

Just rewatched this movie last week and it still holds up. She and the the new fiancée end up being friends, they both realize the guy is LV who is incapable of appreciating them for who they are. And Elle doesn’t compromise her values and just succeeds by being her authentic self.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 02:11 PM
199

This reminds me of a quote from Gilmore Girls where the mom says someone has a “good sense of humor” “Tell me one joke she has ever told” “Well she has a nice laugh” “So you mean she can appreciate a good sense of humor”. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 02:08 PM
116

“Something good on a regular basis.” Even in his fantasy scenario he won’t call her his girlfriend friend- he doesn’t want to commit or contribute anything, he just wants her to come over to his place to hook up whenever he feels like while skirting around any attempts to define what their relationship is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:58 PM
76

Plus he’s perfectly content coming over to her place and eating a dinner she buys and makes for him. She should Venmo him the cost of what he east as soon as he leaves and see how much he likes it. Maybe then when he stops coming over she will realize he doesn’t really care about her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:45 PM
22

Yep, that population is probably the most likely to depend on social security and if women take time off from the work force to have and raise kids then they will contribute less and get less. And a lot of people in the US just don’t have other sources of retirement. Those same women will also have less contributions to 401k over their life time and will face a longer retirement time with less savings. It’s really important for us to be teaching girls (and everyone) about this in school so they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:30 PM
8

And look up things like medical situations- in the US there is a “power of attorney” form for medical you can fill out for example, if you’re in the hospital and unable to advocate for yourself, who do you want to make decisions for you? This may or may not even be your romantic partner, it could be a close family member you trust instead. But if for example, if something were to happen to him would he want you to be able to make decisions? It is easier if you are legally recognized some way. Ju…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:11 PM
3

Thanks, I missed the term there so wasn’t sure. Still, having someone on your health insurance is a big deal regardless, there’s clearly still a lot of connection that he is not willing to give up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 01:11 AM
40

Yep in the US at least there are a lot of restrictions on who can be on your health insurance, most places you can’t just add a non married person you are dating. This all sounds super sketchy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 12:16 AM
58

Yep she even picks up on the dog’s weird behavior, knowing something was up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:27 AM
25

Yes I am sure there is a huge disparity if you ask both members of the same couple, what percentage each of them do, in their perceptions of what the split is. The fact is especially with households with children, mothers do way more “unseen” work and emotional labor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:11 PM
22

Exactly, my optimism that it was being talked about in men’s journal quickly disappeared when I got to the end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 05:45 PM
80

Did you read the rest of the article? It says men feel like they are doing more than before but not receiving “credit” for it. Well, if you were doing 5% of the housework and now are doing 10%, you’re sad you don’t get a gold star? Thanks for proving the reason why so many women view their husbands as children. Also, no surprise that any true analysis went over the heads of writers of men’s journal- the proposed solution is that couple should make fun of each other (another type of cOmmUniCaTion…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 05:45 PM
40

Yea I agree with letting them start it so you know they’re not just trying to say what you want to hear. My friend has his hair dyed a weird (non natural) color and he looks younger than he is, so I think the stable women who he is looking for probably don’t take him seriously if they see him online lol. I’m not in a place to give him dating advice tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 01:49 AM
99

It’s certainly tough. I have a guy friend who is childfee and faces the same issue- stable women who want commitment already have kids or want children in the future. Even if there were child free only dating apps there would probably be people who lie anyway, it takes a lot of vetting to make sure the person is truly on the same page as you, especially since the topic of kids is not something you should compromise or negotiate on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 01:40 AM
36

He is similar in that he also has two eyes and a nose. It’s almost like they’re long lost twins! 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 12:31 AM
21

Yes you are right there are many serious issues too that I don’t mean to downplay. It is the catch 22- period symptoms are used as an excuse to invalidate our emotions, while at the same time doctors will downplay our symptoms and tell us it’s not that bad, even when it’s something very serious! The number of women who have undiagnosed PMDD, endometriosis or PCOS is likely very high.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 09:06 PM
56

Like even a roommate pays half the utility bill. This guy is a total mooch. And just think- their incomes are the same, he gets to save money and contribute to his retirement funds, she has to take money out of her investments to pay for all his living expenses, pay for two kids for college (I think we can all assume he is not contributing a cent to anything involving the kids), which will have long term repercussions on her finances and ability to save. He’s basically a parasite, not a husband.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 11:58 PM
38

Plus, she was pregnant and feeling crappy and the best thing he could come up with was "hehe want some dick?" There are like a million things that wouldn't have cost him a dime that he could have done to make her feel better, like giving her a back rub, doing some chores, preparing a nice bath for her, etc. In fact, you shouldn't even wait for a holiday to do something like that for a pregnant woman you're with, if you actually care about her....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 05:53 PM
9

Exactly, if a woman truly doesn't have any hobbies it's probably because she doesn't have any time for them because she is a mom married to a guy who contributes nothing to the household or childcare, so she spends every waking moment working, cleaning, taking care of kids, cooking, and organizing everything. And if she does get a spare moment to do something relaxing like take a bath, read a magazine, or grab lunch out with a friend, her husband won't consider those hobbies anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 05:44 PM
50

Exactly- he basically wants a refund because “things didn’t work out” aka he didn’t get the sex he wanted and thinks he was entitled to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 04:12 PM
36

Did you see the snl skit “meet your second wife”? Where they show who they will eventually get married to after their current marriage ends and shows the ridiculous age gaps. For one guy a young woman in college came out and he was relieved she wasn’t younger but then it turned out his second wife was actually the baby that college girl was pregnant with. Why men think it’s funny to joke about how much younger their wives are than them is really weird tho like, hey look my wife wasn’t even an em…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 09:31 PM
75

Yep and she stayed true to herself continuing to do hobbies she liked while working towards her goals. And unwavering in her beliefs, such as refusing to give up the alibi or sleep with her creepy professor. She wanted to be successful on her own terms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 09:26 PM
205

"My boyfriend purposefully pees all over the wall of the bathroom and refuses to clean it up, how do I communicate to him how this makes me feel?" It's just so sad how many women have been conditioned to think this is normal, acceptable behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 03:06 AM
36

Did you see the sign on the bed frame? It said “you are entitled to food clothing shelter and medical attention. Everything else you get is a privilege.” Why would you have that on your bed? Is that what you can expect in a relationship with him? The “bare necessities” but no emotional support? I think I’ll pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:44 AM
139

It’s like she didn’t know enough to draw what kinds of clothes he wears. Like the sibling is clearly wearing a specific sweater. The dad is just as generic a head as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:26 AM
75

I am occasionally on call for work for a few days at a time, and I wouldn’t schedule a date for that time, it’s one of those things where I have to answer the phone and respond, it could only take 5 minutes or could be a 30 minute thing, or I could go several hours with no calls. It’s unpredictable. It would be rude to make someone wait or be interrupted for that length of time. Of course in this case the guy was just lying to make excuses to do other stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 07:57 PM
16

Don’t worry, they practice equal opportunity exploration on their site! They’ll exploit anyone and everyone! 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 02:06 AM
63

It’s not the expense, he just didn’t care about her. Even if the uber were $1 it would have meant putting effort into his comfort and he didn’t want to do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 03:39 AM
6

Yea I’m realizing how much shitty advice we have gotten from other women all our lives. It’s not necessarily their fault since we’ve been conditioned for so long (“oh Timmy just kicked you during recess because he liiiikes you!” 🤮). But it’s time to wake up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 04:29 AM
12

Yea I forgot to block before deleting once, so he texted me when he figured out I blocked him on Facebook (which he never used anyway it took him like 2 months to notice). He said he still didn’t understand why I broke up with him even though I did have several conversations with him telling him things he had done that upset me, and even though he said he was sorry, he just used up all his chances (really I gave him too many chances anyway). Like, he knows why. He knows what he did. He just hope…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 04:23 AM
43

I would use it as a planter for succulents or something rather than a mug because yea it looks difficult. My favorite novelty mug was a color changing Harry Potter one where the marauders map would show up when you put the hot liquid in it. But it was something my mom got me for kicks for no reason because she knew I’d like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 08:58 PM
6

They hit it spot on with the no decor on the walls being creepy thing too. In college I went to a guys place and he had nothing on any of the walls, I asked if he had just moved in but he had been ther for like a year. It just gave me bad vibes. Also he then texted me after we had only had one date to ask if I was going to be “his woman”. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 06:21 AM
52

Good riddance. I feel bad that she we will have to spend hours reorganizing all the stuff he carelessly three in trash bags tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:29 AM
24

Also the idea that he plays female characters because of the “voice actors” is complete BS. Guys pick female avatars in games, especially RPGs, because they get to stare at her ass the whole time while they’re playing due to the way the games point of view is set up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 11:52 PM
12

I also think listening to how he discusses coworkers and his supervisors is an indicator- is he supportive of all coworkers? You don’t want to date the office asshole/mansplainer for example.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 11:47 PM
35

It is low effort because it puts the responsibility on you to ask for help, which can defeat the purpose. It’s why you don’t do general “hey let me know what I can do” for anyone going through a tough time- you suggest specific things like “can I bring over a dinner on Thursday night for your family?” Or if it’s someone you live wit, just straight up doing something so they don’t have to, without being asked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 06:34 AM
107

I forget the company but I think a couple years ago someone designed underwear that due to the fabric and construction it couldn’t be pulled down/off (I can’t remember what the mechanism was so that the wearer could remove it) as a protection from rape, but yes sad that it had to be a point where you basically wear armor because someone won’t take no for an answer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:46 PM
19

Don’t you know that once a guy has watched 500 hours of anime he becomes an expert on every aspect of Japanese culture and completely fluent in Japanese? Next he will just be able to fly there and he will be able to marry a Japanese female once he steps out of the airport. /s obviously
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 12:20 AM
3

Agreed, it’s not a good idea to put yourself in this situation, he is freaking out and could turn violent. Better to be in a different place physically when confronting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 07:53 PM
7

Yep I definitely know better now but this was preFDS, I am glad you found it earlier than I did!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 05:15 AM
8

I was dating a guy long distance for awhile and it’s amazing how much of my time he still sucked up. There were lots of reasons why I broke up with him but wow, I’ve had so much more time to devote things that are fun, productive and good for me now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 12:21 AM
11

Plus tenant laws can be super weird and even if they aren’t on the lease if they’ve been there for a while they can make a legal claim to stay and then you have to go through legal channels to evict them (this varies by location and state). But it’s certainly a consideration and a caution against letting someone move in with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 11:39 PM
27

Why would they report that? Don’t individuals buy themselves stuff? We don’t go around reporting the gaming subs when guys buy or build themselves a $3000 gaming computer. Surely there are posts where guys have bought themselves all sorts of stuff. Why aren’t women allowed to by themselves a car or jewelry? Buying your own jewelry with your own money is not a hate crime. It makes no sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 08:16 PM
20

Maybe if you store the wine improperly and it turns all vinegry and sour. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 07:39 PM
81

Some guys do end up being serious about it, like one day they will realize oh shit I better get started. I was “dating” (more like fwb) a guy who was 43, bad idea anyway (I was 25... I think I knew at the time there was no future in it). But then one day he was like, you should quit your job and marry me because I want kids. Wtf. He was the one who kept wanting things casual so it came out of left field. So glad I noped out of there fast. I heard from a mutual friend that he got married like a y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 07:38 PM
20

As someone who has traveled internationally a lot, the sad thing is that many white American men can and do find foreign women to marry and be their stay at home wives- often ones who are way above the standard they would be able to get in the US. This situation sadly gives these women in most cases far better opportunities than they ever would have if they stayed in their own countries. They at least have the opportunity to get eventual US citizenship and live in a developed country. That said,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:21 PM
19

Exactly! What was he doing before that? If he missed out on things that’s his fault, OP has only been in the picture for a short percentage of his life. If he seriously thinks that hooking up with women is essential to traveling around the world, he can do that as a single divorcee.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:15 PM
28

Did you ever see the snl sketch about the charm bracelets? Hilarious. Just a way to have overpriced charms that look like you are making an effort when it actually requires no effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:10 PM
13

The part at the end where he says he will have a better career!!! He is a piece of shit and he still thinks he’s better than her. He “cares about her deeply” supposedly- no, he has no respect for her. He will gladly live off her money and let her pay for his school then he will get his “better career” and leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:10 AM
10

I’m an atheist but grew up catholic. Shit like this makes me want to gag. If you are religious and want to pray that is fine, but don’t go around telling everyone else that they have to pray too. No thanks. Don’t even get me started on the creepy obedience vibes from the rest of the list. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:00 AM
31

I wish there were a way to block and delete guys physically so they can’t keep coming up to you to give you unsolicited opinions after you’ve already told them you have no interest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 03:41 AM
9

Honestly I thought the movie was going to be like that, like there was some nefarious reason for the ship going all whacky, but it was just a simple malfunction problem and the movie was just a regular romance. I agree it would have been an interesting thriller instead, or like if some person had broken the pod as a social experiment maybe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 03:37 AM
41

Yea, that one was perfect. So many women get told they are being too emotional or over reacting but in a lot of situation they are probably under reacting! If someone disrespects you or treats you like shit you do get to respond emotionally while you tell them off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 07:30 PM
47

And who replies to it? No brunette who is between 5’4” and 5’11” will read all the rest of it and think “oh good I met all the criteria, I will message him so I can do all his cooking and cleaning for him while he demands my time whenever he wants it, oh yay!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 12:18 AM
30

Let me sit on a radiator and pose in my tack suit, that will make me look dope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 12:16 AM
10

I just can’t believe he felt so entitled to their attention- just because he thought she was pretty he decided to interrupt her birthday with her friends to annoy her and then argue about his right to stand there and keep hitting on her even when she was clearly not interested at all. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:16 PM
73

Wonder what signals and behaviors he totally missed- the fact that his friend even pointed out that they were super uncomfortable, like did OP seriously not notice that they were all shifting in their seats, muttering uncomfortably and not knowing what to say until someone spoke up and started roasting him? It’s likely they tried to be more subtle about it first and this guy just totally missed it because he was too busy hitting on them to even try to gauge their reaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 03:24 AM
22

Yea if you make 400k a year totally pay for a maid! How does he equate her spending her own freaking money on something as financial abuse? If she buys herself a pair of shoes that he doesn’t like do that mean she is financially abusing him? That’s not how it works. The fact that the MIL is backing him up shows that he is still just a child and was never made to grow up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 12:21 AM
13

I spent a lot of time buying all sorts of cool, custom gifts for my bf and flew out to see him. I didn’t have a lot of money because I was a broke college student but still spent a lot. When I showed up his gift was to tell me he cheated on me and he bought some random earrings for me in the mall. Yay!!! /s. Yes I broke up with him. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 05:57 AM
7

There is no one who is so bad at gift giving that they don’t know that dead flowers are not acceptable. She told him to get pots and pans and he got the shittiest ones he could find. That is not being bad at gift giving- that is choosing to put the minimal effort in. If he had looked at a different price point he would have easily gotten nice flowers and nice pans. Instead he purposefully spent as little as possible. Because he doesn’t care. Sure there are people who are limited by a budget and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 09:20 PM
32

This is why blocking is better- why waste any of your mental real estate on them? I got an annoying message from a guy I had accidentally deleted without blocking first, and it was like “hey I don’t even know why I’m sending this blah blah blah” and it just annoyed me. I’d rather not see it or deal with that. Anyway, I blocked his number then deleted, so now next time he wants to send me something meaningless I won’t see it and don’t have to deal with someone wasting any of my time. I get why so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 05:54 AM
10

He probably complains that women never message him back and he can’t figure out why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 01:02 AM
6

I think a lot of moms would worry about their kids being exposed to or getting attached to many strange women who may not stick around. It is risky to introduce kids to the single parents dates too early because the relationship may not work out and it may add more instability to their lives which is already high if there is a complicated coparenting situation going on. Also it may be hard enough for the dad and mom to figure out how they are disciplining the kids and making life stable; to then…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 08:37 PM
48

The fact that he thought “come over” would work after he typed a bunch of literal keyboard jibberish is an extra level of pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 08:27 PM
90

Plus in Aladdin, jasmine quickly sees through his bullshit and knows he is the same guy she met earlier. Why didn’t he just fess up right then and there?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 08:20 PM
31

Yep, that was an actual post. He was mad that he was being treated like a child for having to use the other bathroom. If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one, learn to pee, and clean up after yourself. It’s not rocket science- it’s the bare minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 06:02 AM
14

Plus it’s so much fun to bring joy to others and I believe we get back what we give. I sent some little care packages to friends this year (with no expectation of any reciprocity), and had so much fun getting physical cards and thank you notes in the mail and it also was a good opportunity to reconnect with some people I haven’t been able to see because of covid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 11:42 PM
73

And then there is the dumpster fire that is relationships subreddit where the women are asking about their partners and somehow have lowered their standards so far below the bare minimum that they have to ask “how do I get myself to stop wanting even one single Christmas gift from my SO?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 11:23 PM
25

The whole point is to not manipulate and not to play games. I think this is a fundamental misunderstanding people have about FDS. We are not tricking anyone into acting a certain way. Instead, if the person is behaving badly, we just leave them alone and walk away, we don’t play games with them nor do we waste time playing their games either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 03:06 AM
45

“Oh I totally got you a gift too I just don’t have it with me, my bad. Excuse me while I go announce my engagement, ta ta for now!” Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 01:58 AM
24

He sounds like he’s describing a dog- don’t reward them for peeing in the house by giving them pets!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 01:36 AM
15

Yea there’s an episode of kitchen nightmares where the chef owner guy has a “gym” downstairs of the restaurant along with several holes in the wall. Yes he was an angry yeller. Gordon was just like... flabbergasted when he saw it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 08:48 PM
25

Yes - even if he tried to say it was a joke (was the whole gift exchange a white elephant where everything is kind of jokey, or a secret Santa? They are different things!), if the coworker was offended by it, that is bad news for him, or if the company doesn’t back her up then he has made her uncomfortable for no reason and made the work environment worse for her. Frankly very few offices would actually be a place where this type of joke would be generally accepted and that everyone would be ok …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 09:45 PM
72

Too bad things like pepper spray aren’t legal to have everywhere. Also if you do have it be sure to practice so you are very comfortable aiming it in the correct direction when under pressure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 09:39 PM
45

She needs to drop the F from the acronym, it's clearly still going on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 04:28 PM
18

Even with this scenario the girl probably had to miss a year of school (best case scenario) or had to drop out completely. Where it’s likely this father/kid got to continue and not have the child in his life much at all. I feel for anyone child who has to go through a pregnancy like this, but I’m sure he feels bad and guilty about the situation and that’s why he’s trying to hide it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 01:00 AM
5

Hilarious. "I want to control my own body!" Also, "Reddit is my safe space."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 12:10 AM
30

He will move the dirty pot from the stove to the sinl. That’s all he needs to do because it gets magically cleaned from there. How helpful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 04:35 AM
37

Who would go to a guys place for 3 hours as a first date with a guy they met on the internet? Hellllll no! Safety 101. The fact he would even suggest that shows he has absolutely no interest in even learning how women feel and what our daily life is like. Also obligatory LOL at the coffee and a walk in the park.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:13 AM
3

I use a double edged safety razor and love it. I never was part of dollar shave club or whatever- I bought my one razor and a whole pack of blades ten years ago and I am still using it. I get a way better shave than with any of those crappy women’s disposable razors. Plus it’s reduced a lot of waste (yay environment friendly) and it’s way cheaper. There’s certainly a learning curve with this type but it’s been worth it for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:07 AM
1

I read the first outlander book and frankly it was scarring. There’s the bit where she almost gets raped but then also when the fit gets captured and he gets raped and psychologically tortured - like why was any of that necessary? I didn’t want to read any more after that because I didn’t know what other lines would get crossed and I just don’t need that in my life. I can’t believe how popular it’s become and with the tv show too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:28 PM
31

Imagine punishing a woman because she can’t do every little thing you imagine her doing in your head that you don’t even tell her about, except you only bring it up so you can guilt her about not doing it solely because of something she has no control over. Also, when you say you’re not mad that many times, it means you’re mad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:19 PM
32

I think also people mix up the fact that it is a type of media that encompasses a lot of different genres. There are certainly some anime genres and shows I like and quite a few I’ve never seen nor had any interest in. Just like live action American tv/movies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 03:46 PM
7

Yes! Do you ever watch dancing with the stars? A lot of times when they are standing there waiting for the judge comments the guy draped his arm around the girls neck from behind. It irks me every freaking time!!! I saw it way less this season though, I don’t know if they were consciously avoiding it or if it is a covid thing, but in past seasons it would distract me because it creeped me out so much to see them standing there like they were choking their dance partner. There’s so many other way…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 07:28 AM
3

Not having ambition and having too much ambition are both his pet peeves. So how much is the right level of ambition for him? Lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:22 AM
44

Yep, they just like staring at the female character’s ass while it runs around in game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 05:57 PM
24

Yea i think starting it with a specific request like “excuse me do you know where x is?” Helps because if you say “hey excuse me” with no details, who knows what they want. Once I was walking by a government building and this chick with a pro looking camera tried to get my attention and when I didn’t respond she tried stepping directly into my walking path. I just glared at her and walked around her. The fact that she tried to block my way made me really suspicious of what she was doing and I wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 06:32 PM
19

There was a recent House Hunters episode where they literally picked to live in a shipping container. This was so they could save money to fix up their van, which they had been living out of for a few months. I mean, there is something to be said for having a minimalist life style, but I'm sorry, I want interior walls inside my house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 03:40 AM
25

I had a guy refer to me as his fiancée somewhere even though he hadn’t even proposed. We had of course discussed futures together but not quite that concretely. It made me realize that if he had proposed that day I would have said no- I did not think we were at that point, and it made me look at things and realize he wasn’t the person I would want to be married to anyway. It was one of many things that made me realize it was time to get out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:50 PM
6

I also think there are a lot of steps in the hiring process having nothing to do with the applicant that can hurt women or other underrepresented groups- certain words in a job advertisement are shown to be more with what men identify themselves with so women may be less likely to apply, those reviewing resumes may have in their mind what an ideal candidate “looks like”, same with those who are doing the interviewing and coming up with the questions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 05:03 PM
32

I feel like this is a good tip if you have problems detecting things on dates or in early conversations. “What would Judge Judy think about this dude?” Channel your inner queen judge. May help you pick up on red flags you may otherwise miss or be tempted to let slide.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 12:24 AM
15

So basically the plot of that one direction song.... “babe you don’t know you’re beautiful” or whatever it is. Such a common trope about men liking women who don’t know they can do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 01:40 AM
47

A true FDS queen would never send something with so many typos! Scam alert lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 10:30 PM
85

They hate when you verbalize it because they know what they should be doing but have chosen not to- they don’t want to hear pointed out what theyve already decided they don’t want to do!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 06:04 PM
44

Exactly- “paying attention to things his wife says” and “wanting to just be nice to her because he cares about her” should be the bare minimum, but for so many people the bar is on the floor, so this example stands out as “exceptional”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:44 PM
22

Exactly- I don’t listen to much of her music because I feel too old for especially her early stuff and it doesn’t appeal to me. That said I think she is incredibly talented, writing her own songs, playing the guitar, etc. She is a badass. Men write songs about women and sex all the time. Why can’t she write about men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 02:42 PM
98

“It’s uphill from here” is certainly not the case. He’s now learned he doesn’t have to do anything she wants to do no matter how important it is to her so he will never do it and never try. If that’s how he proposed knowing that she wanted more, sorry, it will all be downhill, or perhaps a completely level dirt path at best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 02:33 PM
46

I think all you can do is dial back how much emotional energy you invest. Make it clear you are there for her but stop fretting over giving her advice, especially if she is not asking for it. You may have to set some boundaries for if she is spending lots of time complaining to you about him but doesn’t want any solutions. It’s definitely hard but eventually if she sees the light she will need a friend then and you can be there for her. But if she’s not willing to listen now there is not much yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 02:30 PM
18

If you don’t have their number blocked be prepared for some random whiny text from them when they notice they’ve been removed (this happened to me lol). I made the mistake of deleting his number before blocking it. I have since corrected that lol. Now I see why the rule is block then delete!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 02:40 AM
29

Welcome to the patriarchy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 04:45 AM
24

Bathe him in a conversation about it, but make sure you're not condescending!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 12:15 AM
50

Oh exactly - "most women don't challenge me iNteLLecTSHUALLY" is code for this guy loves to "play devils advocate" to get away with acting like an ass in every conversation he has with women. He'll gatekeep any mutual interests you may share while negging you constantly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 12:13 AM
20

It's possible she never went to the bank or even talked to anyone about the house buying. I wouldnt be surprised if he handled everything and just had her cut a check. And that way he could keep her out of the process entirely. But this is why we really need to be teaching financial literacy and we as women need to step up and do our own research. Especially in the US you really need to establish credit. I wonder if she has any savings for retirement?? Certainly putting 35k into some different i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 12:07 AM
48

The guy's response is hilarious - "Does he howl at the moon, this 'husband' of yours?" Seriously if you are scratching up sheets that badly with your toe nails how do you wear normal shoes? Are you a literal werewolf?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 06:24 PM
24

Yes, I’m sure he would be wanting to see her walk down the aisle right this very second. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 10:06 PM
58

Yes, even if he isn’t planning on murdering her, his obsession and the fact that he’s basically taking the side of the murderer in this (“he should have done it this way instead then he would have gotten away with it!”) is super uncomfortable and creepy. He’s basically obsessing over all these crazy misogynists and I wouldn’t want to be with someone like that anyway. She doesn’t need to prove he’s trying to murder her, she can just break up with him regardless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 09:40 PM
17

Can you imagine giving guardianship of your daughter over to a rock star sex drug addict so he can have sex with her? Unbelievable. That poor child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 06:18 PM
6

You have to block him so he can’t contact you anymore. No good is coming out of having him in your life and every message he sends you is a breadcrumb where he’s trying to make it seem like he is giving you attention, but it is nothing more. He doesn’t value you. He is not worth the space in your head you are giving him. It may seem harsh to block someone and give them no explanation, but that’s what you need to do- he will not change. You can’t make him care about you no matter what you may try…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 06:15 PM
6

So what you're saying is I should avoid that whole sub unless I want to do alot of eye rolling?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 12:47 AM
4

Also, look at scenario number 3: Why would he need to watch porn on his personal laptop while it's connected to the work VPN? He'd only need to do that if he was watching porn while also working at the same time. Otherwise he could just disconnect the vpn on his personal computer first. Can you imagine him in a conference call or typing an email with porn playing in another tab at the same time? Omg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 12:41 AM
8

The sad thing is this is probably more pervasive than we even realize. At one of my old companies, someone got fired (because they weren't doing their job well, and wouldn't/couldn't improve even after months of conversations and coaching, also he had weird hours like he consistently stayed late for no reason). When cleaning out his desk the next day, they found a whole bunch of porn. So like... maybe he wasn't getting his work done because he was jacking it in the bathroom during the day, and p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 12:37 AM
5

So what you’re telling me is all I have to do is say I like to make arts and crafts and he will run away screaming and leave me alone? Score! 🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 05:21 PM
8

I took a pottery class in high school, does that mean I get to list that as my hobby?? 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:46 PM
9

So many guys think quoting family guy is their sense of humor. Frankly I hate that show and if that is the guy’s favorite show that is a huge red flag for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:44 PM
2

Yea seriously what dudes are describing themselves any different ways than this?? In a get to know you chit chat everybody probably answers along the lines of “I like to do x y z” or “I have this kind of career” or “I read x kinds of books” or similar responses to how friends would describe them. Complaining about that really doesn’t make any sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:43 PM
9

Grammar mistake using “it’s” instead of “its”. Looks like he spent too long sleeping through his Econ 101 course and missed English 101 entirely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 02:28 PM
11

I always do an applause in my head for the queens who have badass sounding jobs but no kids or spouses (assumed only because it doesn’t come up in the questions/intro, I feel like if you do have kids or spouse they’re mandatory to be mentioned!) and are clearly living their happy best lives :) I wish this was more celebrated outside FDS lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 10:38 PM
23

Yea, watching Wheel of Fortune last week there were 2 different women contestants who had multiple kids with a guy who they weren't married to, and had been together for like 8 years or more, and were "engaged". Like, let's say you're with a guy and get accidentally pregnant. Maybe you don't get married right away because you still aren't sure if you want to marry him, but you decide to have the baby. Ok, that's your choice. But like, eventually you need to decide... if you're living together fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 09:53 PM
45

Plus calling it daddy issues makes it sound like it’s her fault. If she has trauma from her father leaving the family, that is on him, he caused it. But society puts the blame on the girl if she acts a certain way or people treat her badly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 06:35 PM
6

Thanks! I didn’t even notice :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 02:45 AM
62

Also, he started talking to them like they were people?? As if in his regular prior dating experiences he didn’t treat them that way? No wonder he wasn’t successful. I can’t even with this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 12:54 AM
15

Ugh yes, be cautious with guys volunteering to do things and appearing over eager about it too - observe: did they actually do the thing? Did they do all of without your help, or did they only do a part of it and expect you do the rest? It's a way to appear helpful. without actually having to follow through. I had an ex like this who kept saying he would do thinks and then just .... wouldn't. There was always something else that he needed or said was in the way of him getting things done. Things…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 11:19 PM
60

I see it a lot more in media now too- some movies and such that I may have enjoyed in the past, it’s just so different seeing it through another lens. And so obvious how much bad advice is reinforced by all the movies and media out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 08:50 PM
48

Plus anywhere you would get drinks as a date would be the same environment as a restaurant and would probably take about the same amount of time as a dinner. He’s just using it as an excuse. This is why you shouldn’t bother communicating past the point where they show themselves the first time, the texts just got worse after the movie and cuddling one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 08:48 PM
19

Yep, the fact that he said “nice” things about the exes is actually not the point. He spent waaaay too much time talking about other women on the first dates and that should be a strike by itself. The fact that what he said about them proves that he is fine using women for all his needs and then discarding them should certainly be the signal to leave and not talk to him again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 08:43 PM
8

True— there’s a couple live virtual workouts I like doing and have scheduled things around them because I’ve decided it’s important to me. Other things can be flexible but I’m definitely learning that planning time for myself is super important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 11:40 PM
8

I’m totally on board with this normally but let’s be real, during these covid times my schedule is pretty open hahaha. Not open waiting for guys to try for a “date” last minute, just open because I’m not really going out with friends and am not doing too much of the virtual stuff/meetups these days either. But I’ve had plenty of time to work out, so art projects, hang with family, etc, and am loving it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 11:32 PM
10

Yea if he can’t be bothered to put it on his calendar then he doesn’t care enough for you to bother either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 11:29 PM
8

Yea I helped my dad rake all the leaves before the big snow hit and we got it done in a couple of hours. To say that is equitable to even a week's worth of cooking, dishes, and laundry, would be laughable. (note my dad definitely doesn't think like the guys we are complaining about, he actually does more chores than my mom).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 11:00 PM
20

Plus think of all the months when lawn work is not existent, like if you are in a snowy climate you aren’t mowing the lawn all winter... and obviously you aren’t shoveling the snow in the drive way all year, just for a few months. But the toilets, dishes and laundry all need cleaned all year round.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 05:29 PM
14

Plus I’m rbis example he’s going on offending her and won’t even accept that she’s upset. “I was just joking” is a common deflection and all it means is that he doesn’t care how she feels. Also If you live by yourself then your entire space is yours so I don’t have to sacrifice anything for anyone’s man cave :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 04:30 PM
73

But the more time you spend even thinking about them is time wasted. Giving them anymore attention does not really keep them from bugging anyone else. They do not learn, especially not from a snappy comeback. Any attention is to be taken as a win by them. One middle ground is to do this: block and delete and give them no response. Then if you feel you want more, write down your sassy comeback, and burn it full on ritual style, and with the action of burning it, banish that worthless LVM from you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 09:01 PM
59

Slightly off topic but I’m watching the newest season of amazing race and in the first challenge they had to learn how to play a drum and these two guys just kept calling their instructor beautiful, made several comments, it was just so annoying and cringey. This lady was just trying to help them. No one else did this, they were all appreciative of the help, but the other 10 teams were thankful but not creepy. Anyway... they got eliminated so I’m glad I don’t have to witness how they would keep …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 06:41 PM
46

The problem is guys will eventually turn everything sexual. They’ll complain to the woman for awhile and then start hitting on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 05:26 PM
14

I also think she should give his photo to the admin at the school and say that he is an adult who is harassing/stalking her and that if he shows up at the school again that he is definitely not welcome and have them deal with it, call the cops on him if they have to. I would hate for him to break in, or force OP or some other child into the car with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 10:38 PM
10

Did he think you wouldn’t know what ethanol was? Omg. Can you uninvite and block this person lol?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 06:42 PM
33

Exactly- it is never the victims fault, but there are ways people can stack the odds in their favor by practicing better security and safety habits. There is no reason ever to meet an OLD or any other person you don’t know very well in a private place instead of a public place first. If the person insists and doesn’t want to respect that boundary that is a big signal to you to not meet up with them ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 01:11 PM
8

I don’t have Snapchat either. I only use Instagram to follow certain accounts for my hobbies and hardly ever post. I wouldn’t date someone who used it to follow Instagram “models”. Im mid 30s and I feel like any hvm my age wouldn’t be following and messaging 19 year olds they don’t even know just because they post highly photoshopped partially nude photos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:30 AM
42

So today I learned that my dad still remembers the name of my best friends dog who I dog sat a few times years ago, I would bring him by to visit my parents and we would take him to the park together. If they really cared they would make an effort. Not everyone is good with names but with technology now and so many ways to make notes and reminders, there is really no excuse to forget major things that are important to the people you care about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:15 AM
12

Omg creepy af. Others have already shared advice for you. But yea this is awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 10:17 PM
19

If I had the severe misfortune of being acquainted with this guy, I would definitely unfriend immediately upon seeing this post lol. Makes it easy to block and delete when they so obviously tell on themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 01:07 PM
12

It’s because men don’t have to deal with any negative consequences of having breasts that are too large every single day. They don’t deal with the back pain or the super expensive bras. In fact society tells them there is no such thing as “too big” for breast sizes. They cant empathize with the struggle of it and are likely against the surgery deep down even if they say they are ok with it, it is very unlikely any would be enthusiastically positive about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 10:30 PM
6

Yep fwb just lets guys have an excuse not to define things or color. Almost always one person thinks it’s more serious than the other. Reminds me of one time this guy was hitting on me- I was walking home and he was an unarmed “security” guy for the public park. He started walking next to me and trying to chat me up. He asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said yes. Undeterred he then asked me to be friends with benefits! Uggggggh no. Luckily I was able to cross the street then and since that was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 10:08 PM
26

There is no world in which this guy doesn’t always know exactly how she feels. He literally just does not care. He will continue pretending to not understand for as long as he continues getting what he wants and then once he isn’t getting it, he will leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 08:57 PM
9

Plus depending on where you are going immigration and visas will be more difficult for engaged vs married. As someone who has moved to another country by myself for my own job, it would be hard on anyone to follow me, especially if they had their own career they wanted to maintain- it’s very difficult no matter what. Most spouses in this situation will have to compromise ALOT of their personal life and job security. There is no reason to do this unless the person you are with is legally obligate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 06:18 AM
26

Agreed. In the perfect world giving them no reaction is the best way because it gives them no rewears. However the real answer unfortunately is “react in whatever way makes you feel safest” because there are some times where ignoring will make it worse. Talking back can make it worse. Do whatever you need to do to get away from the creeps. Run in a store. Lose yourself in a crowd. Cross the street. If it commonly happens to you in a specific area, avoid that area if you can or just be extra caut…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 10:09 PM
9

He likes free foos, so he will totally let you get all the groceries, cook all the food and do all the dishes. And he’ll just eat the food and not even say thanks. Oh yay what a catch!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 06:42 PM
16

Not to mention her high horse of “I think all women should do this!!” Is ridiculous, especially when applied to OPs example. The story was about a 14 year old girl who got groped by an older man. Is the average 14 year old child really confident enough to hit someone or fight back physically? No. She was probably terrified. And depending on the situation fighting back could make it worse. There are so many times when unfortunately defending yourself in any way will escalate the situation to viol…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 05:00 PM
13

Oh good lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 01:22 AM
18

Exactly. It made no sense! 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 01:22 AM
33

It’s the plot of chasing Amy the movie which I couldn’t stand. Basically the guy learned the girl he was interested in had had a “wild, adventurous” sex life before but now is looking to settle down into a serous relationship. And he spends the whole movie butthurt that she won’t do these crazy things with him. Because she did them with someone else he feels entitled to it, despite the fact she doesn’t want to do them again. So gross. I don’t remember how it ends and don’t actually care because …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 10:43 PM
74

This reminds me of my friends story: she went to Olive Garden for a work lunch. As you know their portions are insane. She couldn’t finish all her pasta so wanted to take it home. The guy paying for the meal got super upset- he was like “no, I’m only paying for one meal for you. You can’t take leftovers home.” Like hoooooly crap what a weird control freak. He would rather see th extra food literally thrown in the trash than let her eat more later? Omg the audacity. Can you imagine what that guy …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 10:38 PM
79

In fact, I never eat. Please take me to a field instead where there is no food in sight. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 10:36 PM
8

Plus the constant communication thing- like you shouldn’t have to constantly talk through sex the entire time to get the person to do what you want them to do. That level of direction would be exhausting. “No don’t move tour hand I didn’t say there. Ok a little more up and over to the right, no my right not your right, omg no not that hard, ok down more, ok that’s too fast”. Fffff that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 03:28 PM
5

Working out at home has been great for me. I am glad I worked with a personal trainer at a gym initially a couple years ago so I know I have a good foundation and doing things correctly, but now it’s so great to workout whenever I want without having to deal with gym drama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 02:56 AM
17

Plus if you are trying to check your form in a mirror or are working with a trainer, some parts of the clothes need to be reasonable tight fitting so you can see if you’ve got the movement right or not. If you are a human who thinks people should wear baggy clothes to keep you from staring at them, you are the problem. Also some guy who complains about this woman wearing tight leggings will likely leer at her and others no matter what they wear. It has nothing to do with what women wear and ever…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 02:55 AM
21

The same dudebros who are claiming the gym is a male dominated space will be the same who complain that the creation of a female only gym is wrong because “they have rights too”. It’s like...: you make regular spaces so uncomfortable, so women make spaces just for themselves, then you still complain? Makes no sense!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 02:52 AM
25

A recent dear Abby article she totally ripped into the guy, it was hilarious. He had written in all pissed off because he was a personal trainer and he was hooking up with one of his married clients, the husband found out and showed up at work to atttack him, but GymBro knocked him unconscious and broke several of his ribs. And of course he got fired for that. And his mom is mad at him. He’s pissed and wanted to know how to get his job back. 🤣🤣 Abby points out that he hasn’t taken any responsibi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 01:54 AM
14

Yep if they really cared about women having orgasms they would dedicate the week to showcasing female centered sex toys or actual research about how to help get a woman to climax.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 03:24 PM
86

For those who don’t watch it all, here’s a quick summary: - Sharon has more fun spending time with family and friends than with insincere men she’s tried dating. She has found a lot of men aren’t at the same level as her emotionally right now so they do not meet her standard for relationships - she’s spending time on herself, and she doesn’t want another child (implied she means she doesn’t want to have to take care of an adult who should be able to take care of themselves) - she is raising her …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 05:48 AM
22

And that response just derails the convo and makes it seem like the problem of women getting raped isn’t actually a problem. In this example can you imagine him saying “my female friend got raped and I wish I had helped prevent it by calling out my male friends behavior earlier” and any logical response being “but men get raped too!”. It’s off topic. It invalidates what they’re talking about. Is male rape an issue? Of course. It does not need to be inserted in every conversation about women gett…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 01:26 AM
96

Not to mention those same dudes definitely would not pay any attention to a woman who isn’t wearing makeup. They have no concept of how much makeup a woman who they think looks “natural” actually wears. And yes, no woman regardless of amount of makeup, should care what they think anyway 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 03:11 PM
39

Gross. Did you reply with “Really? I was always plotting how to get you arrested for assault.”? Just to see the look on his face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 03:08 PM
39

And telling the girl to just deal with it as if she should be flattered, and not correcting the boys behavior at all, makes the problem worse. It tells boys they can do whatever they want to girls and they grow up thinking that’s ok, and the girl grows up thinking they just have to accept men’s bad behavior. NOO. We need to stop this. Teachers and parents need to tell the boys to stop and the girls should be told “you’re right, that behavior is not acceptable no matter what, we will stop it.” Bo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 03:06 PM
12

I think there is a small amount of value in sharing screenshots of things that maybe you think were subtle and it would be good to point this out to forge women so they know what to avoid. But those screenshots should follow fds where the person has been blocked immediately after saying the unacceptable thing. Long drawn out conversations wasting time on someone who is clearly a LVM for humor I think should be cut down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 12:04 AM
26

Yes it is so worrisome when someone is clearly in an abusive relationship and you worry for their life, and hope they see enough comments to run away and get out as quick as possible. I went to a talk with a woman who was a domestic abuse survivor (sadly one of the things that happened is her ex murdered their child) and she talked about some of the things he did, and she didn't realize that it was abuse at the time - like he would punch the wall right next to her head, and she rationalized it b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 07:19 PM
85

So much regular porn involves guys putting their hands on the woman’s neck (either for leverage or whatever). I can’t stand it. Normalizing choking or trying to choke a woman is absolutely not ok. But things like that are so ubiquitous that guys think that it’s an acceptable thing to do. It’s not. It’s deeply rooted in violence and is a way to control and hurt a woman. They’ll try it without even asking first because they’ve been conditioned to think it’s normal when it absolutely is not- it’s a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 04:31 PM
19

I like the memes but one thing I don’t like is the long videos. Sometimes I don’t want to listen to things or can’t, so having some summary in the comments as text would be really helpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 05:30 AM
3

I agreed, there’s some good strategy content. I also think sometimes advice posts are too long as far as text is concerned, but those aren’t too common.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 05:29 AM
7

Especially when she feels so inadequate that some days all she is able to do is do a drawing, read one book and pay some bills. I guarantee there are LVM out there with wives and kids who do less than that every single day, because they choose to do nothing and let their wives do everything, and they don’t even feel bad about it. OP on the other hand is doing all she can but her husband is an actual partner and does things without being asked because he cares.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 01:41 AM
70

Worse op brought a male with her and still had the audacity to speak. It made it so the salesman couldn’t just straight up ignore her and only talk to the guy buyer like he usually does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 12:54 AM
56

Agreed. And sadly so many people go with “oh it was just a prank it’s not breakup worthy”. There was a story on reddit a couple years ago I read where the boyfriends prank was to tell his girlfriend that a family member of hers died. She was bawling crying and then he eventually came clean. Inducing that type of trauma on someone is not a prank and it is no no way funny! That is breakup worthy for sure. If someone did that to me I would never talk to them again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 11:08 PM
56

Any prank that causes irreversible damage is not a prank. Plants are also living things, maybe they aren’t sentient like a pet but still, destroying a plant that someone had been growing for 7 years is a terrible awful thing to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 11:05 PM
5

Absolutely - I have had to cut off some friends who either were not supportive (or made any problems all about them), or were emotional leeches, wanting me to be there for advice all the time but never offering anything in return. I think as you get older you realize which friends are there because of convenience, and which ones actually care about you. One thing with this pandemic is I've been making an effort to reach out to people I have strong relationships with and just say hi and checkin, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 04:58 PM
22

Judging people is a natural human trait. We receive so much information that our brain does this by default. If you are worried about making snap decisions, then you can note the behavior they did or the feeling you have and give it a think. This is where knowing your standards helps. If they say something that truly bothers you and doesn’t represent the type of person you want to be with, then move on- they’ve selected themselves out. When it comes to dating and meeting and getting potential da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 03:52 PM
19

He’s 24! Middle schoolers are old enough to do their own laundry, there’s really no excuse here. Also if he doesn’t budget.... does he not pay for anything? Does h have a job? Is his mom really ok with doing all the chores for her grown ass adult son? So many questions!!! GF is right to not move in with him, his reaction that he got all pissed is telling. Run girl run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 04:24 PM
2

Yes! Also I’ve heard the idea of, why do we only celebrate women when they have babies or get married? Why not throw a shower for a new job or other life milestones? Sometimes you do graduation parties, but not always- I think they are rare actually the higher degree you get. Like high school graduation parties are more common in general than college graduation parties. We should be celebrating all the successes of women, not just marriage and babies, especially since not all women will have eit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 01:55 PM
16

Plus trade careers depending on where you live can be very lucrative- in Australia for example the construction unions are very strong nd those workers have a lot of benefits and work rights. Electricians are well paid and I’m high demand. A trolley driver usually makes 100k per year salary. The fact that whoever wrote this thinks that the job or degree is the only standard is totally missing the point. They are also focusing on saying that marriage is the ultimate goal when it shouldn’t be. Hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 01:46 PM
19

Oh yesss that makes sense. Because of the new Facebook algorithm it’s easier for women to take advantage of poor unsuspecting dudes by doing all their chores and letting them live with them for free. The only way to avoid this horror is to cut and paste this into your status on the full moon and get at least 1200 people to like it! Sarcasm obviously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 08:03 PM
72

Wtf is general legal immunity? That’s not a thing. It’s certainly not something you can get by having a lawyer on retainer either. There is no logic here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:29 PM
27

The only bright side is it sounds like he spends as little time with her children as possible. They should never be around such a person. I hope the comments tell her resoundingly that no, this is not normal, and she shojld leave him yesterday. Seriousness aside- Also who needs 1 hour to decompress after a smoke break? Wtf? I can’t even with some of this guy’s “rules.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:41 PM
51

Yes, this is one of the saddest parts- just because she promised him something before she even knew what he would ask, does not mean that she has no right to consent!! All she did was promise not to “judge” him for it. Telling him he’s making her uncomfortable doesn’t break that promise. But if your boyfriend is a total jerk who cares more about his fantasy than about you as a person, then you probably won’t see it that way. I hope she gets away from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:26 PM
7

Omg the soundtrack to that is amazing, I couldn’t stop laughing. And her face the whole time “look I’m doing such a good job washing this laptop!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 05:19 PM
2

Plus the clothing all literally has the instructions on the tag, so not knowing what temp or how to wash is not an excuse as long as you can read. The reason they have to resort to these stupid measures is they can’t come right out and say “I’m selfish and don’t want to do any housework, so you either let me take a pass on all of it and do it all yourself for both of us or else I will sabotage all the chores bwiahahah” out loud because then hopefully the woman would leave him if she has any sens…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 05:15 PM
22

Plus there’s so much bad media about this. Most of the regular calories calculators simply don’t take active women into account. A lot of women struggle because they end up eating too little, because thats what some random calculator says. But if you work out as much as you do especially with lifting weights, etc, you need that much fuel, otherwise your body will think you are starving. The real question is why random dudes think they have any place criticizing you for this and trying to push th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 02:09 AM
19

So he wanted you to commute to his house and then to his work with him and then bicycle all the way to your work across town? And call it a date? Omg. They make it easy to say no don’t they.....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 12:34 AM
5

Oh for sure I would never get on a motorcycle with a guy who I don’t know really well. Too many drive really unsafe and dangerously! On a first date you have no idea if the guy will keep you safe or put you at risk trying to show off or whatever. Also who knows from the text what if he meant bicycle and wanted you to bicycle along side him? 🤣 (It’s a hard no either way tho obviously).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 11:54 PM
35

This way gamers don’t have to get up and go to the bathroom, they can just shit in their chairs and continue to chug their monster energy drinks for hours on end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 11:39 PM
13

“Men are the number 1 threat to women” says the guy who knows this first hand because he forced multiple women to watch him masturbate by threatening them and their careers. They always tell on themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 10:59 PM
96

Also, he wants to compare himself to Kobe Bryant? Really?? The audacity. And just because someone else puts up with something, does not mean that you have to accept that. What he's saying is he wants the ability to cheat on his spouse and give her STDs and still have her stay and never leave him. Wow... what a catch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 07:23 PM
83

My company has a lot of informal office events to celebrate birthdays etc. Women have to be aware of the “office housekeeping” that often falls into women to deal with instead of men. A HV boss will ensure this doesn’t happen. One of my former supervisors was male and he was the first one to show up to help set up, and also stepped up to clean up afterward. You can bet that since he was the boss everyone else took note and the other men also fell in line to do their share of set up and clean up.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 03:17 PM
32

Exactly. And now this department head can be on watch for the same type of behavior from this guy in the future- he could be doing this type of things to others, and now his supervisors can be aware of it and address it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 03:12 PM
5

Also the levels of creepiness to be able to do this is astounding. This is one of the problems of the account structure that blizzard (company that owns WoW) switches to a few years ago. Before you had just a username and it could be anything, and you didn’t have to share any info with anyone you didn’t want to- If I did give out an email address it was my spam email not connected to me or my name in any way; nor did I ever share a photo of myself to my gaming buddies because they werent people …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 07:38 AM
8

Also, the last sentence “I like when my date can handle my friends” isn’t answer you would normally see because his friends shouldn’t be going along with him on dates either!! Maybe in relationships introducing a girlfriend to friends happens, but not on a first date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 07:28 AM
2

That’s awesome! I am already planning my holiday gifts this year, I want to send my friends some awesome care packages- candles, tea, pampering stuff, etc. I think we all need it lol. On a similar note, my mom and I were going through stuff and she showed me the rings my grandmother left to me (she sadly passed away a couple months before I was born). The rings definitely won’t fit me but I was thinking of keeping the rings so that the diamonds could be reset in an eventual wedding ring, but now…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 06:19 AM
30

I turned my chat off to everyone so that doesn’t happen anymore. There was a guy like what 2 weeks ago that basically went and messaged like 100 different FDS posters the same thing calling us femcels. Who has time to troll that much? Get a life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 09:30 PM
22

Exactly. I’m sure the statistics get skewed when you look at gender, or compare deaths from a woman living on her own compared to the high number of deaths of women who have been murdered by partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:57 PM
20

I love everything about this. I noticed the typo right away and I loved how she anchored her clap back around that. Priceless. You go queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 03:06 PM
27

Uggggh my ex—- he kept saying he was so smart and he could do anything, he was so much smarter than average people, etc —- but he didn’t like to read, never went to colllege, anime was one of his only hobbies, he put his wallet in his checked bag for a flight and it got stolen. Ummmmm, common sense much??? This is why you loook at what the guy does, and be wary of what he says.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 02:44 AM
18

Yes this boils down to personal preference, and making sure you are comfortable. I had a great male obgyn who continued to learn things, give lectures on leading science, etc. Also, during any procedure or exam, he would have a female nurse or aid also in the room so you were never there with him alone. His conversations never made me uncomfortable and he we extremely respectful. That said. I’m sure there are some out there who aren’t that great, although I hear stories from women complaining ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 02:36 AM
16

I always keep a lock on my phone but I will give the code to someone really close to me who I trust, like I know my parents unlock codes because I help them look up stuff nd send photos all the time. The lock is to keep strangers from being able to access my phone. Also I keep mine on silent because I hate hearing the rings and notifications, sometimes I miss calls, but honestly, if it’s important they will leave a message, and I hardly get calls anyway. But the hiding the screen when you’re wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 02:25 AM
29

You forgot the ones who are like “oh well I could just throw some paint on a canvas and sell it too, it’s not like it’s hard!” As if you haven’t put tons of work and research into what you’re doing as a business and that no, not everyone is going to be successful at it. It takes a lot of hard work, but they don’t want to hear about it 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 10:52 PM
47

Yes, acting incompetent so they don’t have to do anything is such a manipulative tactic. And these same guys accuse women of playing games. It’s hilarious because with my parents, my dad does the vast majority of the dishes. He is the one who is particular about how the dishwasher is loaded so he does all of it. He’s retired now too so does a lot more of the chores and cooking in general, since he is home a lot more while my mom is still working. Oh and he doesn’t complain about it. He’s from th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 10:47 PM
17

You could have tossed him a couple bandaids on his way out the door for his wounded ego. But yes, he was probably used to encounters where the woman just put up with it and got nothing out of it, and he didn’t care at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 10:42 PM
63

We live in a sad wold where people can’t post photos of their kids online without having to worry about this. I have a friend who posts photos of her toddler on Facebook al the time of him in the bath, him running around with no clothes, I just don’t get it. Why put this up for the world to see? Also, the kid has no say in this, what if when they get older they don’t want those photos everywhere? I just don’t get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 12:15 PM
5

Yes, so many posts are low “besides these MINOR issues (which are actually big deals) he is just the best person ever!!”. No, he is not. If he were the best ever he wouldn’t be doing the things you posted about. This is why the fds principle of leaving at the first sign of disrespect is a good one- you can’t change someone into respecting you nor is it worth your time to “train” them- it won’t work and you will just be wasting time on someone who will treat you badly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 09:14 PM
24

Yea- I tried to give advice too and the op replied defending the guy. All you can do is point things out to people but if they don’t want to see it there’s not much you can do. I remember in the early days of that subreddit a lot of it was just legitimate questions about how to have tough conversations or advice about minor things. So much of it now is just people in clearly abusive relationship but they complain about advice telling them to dump the abuser and get away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:55 AM
21

Exactly, if they cheat on their partner with you what will stop them from cheating on you too later? I have a cousin who’s dating this guy, they met while he was still married, he offered her a job when they sat next to each other on a plane lol, and yes there is a huge age gap, like 15 years at least. Obviously I don’t wish ill on anyone, but I just don’t see how that can be a foundation for a good healthy relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:32 AM
11

Really? But that tanks the whole plot of “what happens in Vegas”! 🤣 But yes, there are ways to resolve things, and starting new relationships while in limbo just isn’t a good idea. What happens if they end up not finalizing the divorce ever or get back together?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:20 AM
53

They’re from the past!! As if he can’t be bothered to care one bit about children he brought into the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 08:09 PM
27

I think there are states in the US with mandatory waiting periods where you have to be separated for like a year befor the divorce is finalized, which is kind of ridiculous. But also not an excuse- a man in this situation is still married and should be up front about it. And following fds principles you should not be involved with a guy in that situation anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 08:08 PM
67

I agree on ignoring, it just sucks that there is no foolproof way to avoid this. There was a murder where the girl ignored the catcaller so he followed her to her car and killed her. It’s just sad because you never know what kind of guy you are dealing with- is he just a garden variety scrote trying to show off or is he a total psycho? But I’m general responding to them usually just escalates the situation or gives them attention and they just see it as a reward. I wish guys who did this underst…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 03:29 PM
32

Yea it looked like there was even a turn in there and she didn’t signal. I can’t get on board with people video recording themselves while driving wtf! In some places it is straight up illegal to use a phone this way while driving. But yes what she said was on point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:12 PM
65

Yes, the fact is I have worked very hard to get where I am financially speaking. I want a partner who is in a similar place and mindset. If he can’t affford dinner then he certainly isn’t investing into retirement funds, etc. I don’t want to be with someone that I would have to support financially. Guys throw the gold digger adjective around to describe a woman who just wants a guy to at least pull his own weight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:03 PM
63

And then make it worse by taking clean dishes out and then leaving them for someone else to put sway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:50 AM
5

Yep, they knew each other for 16 years and he ghosts her after they hook up? What kind of friend does that? This guy was not a friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:47 AM
12

His idea of a date is that he leaves you to babysit his kids (the ones who he doesn’t mention until that moment because they are “from the past”). Then comes back and expects sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 03:35 AM
29

Did you see the last line? He actually thinks lady in the street but freak in the sheets is a real thing he can demand a woman to be for him while he does whatever the f he wants. Barf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 02:43 AM
15

Oh I was thinking yesterday “there was a movie on amazon that I saw a trailer for and really wanted to watch” and remembered this was it! Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 08:24 PM
74

The idea that some LVM are actually negative numbers is such a good way to look at it- is he actually making you and your life worse and adding negative value? Then leave sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:55 PM
2

I have a couple mobile games I play and they are fun to pass the occasional time here or there but I have no interest in spending any money on them- it is totally not worth it. I can’t believe how many people do spend tons of money on them, usually they are the same people who spend waaay too much time playing them too. So weird to have someone pressure you into spending.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 05:26 AM
41

I can’t believe this was posted by a 26 year old. At least he is quickly weeding himself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 05:15 AM
10

Some people who don’t drink every day, but when they do drink, go all out and lose control, tell themselves they don’t have an alcohol problem. They think as long as they don’t wake up to take a shot every day that they are ok- but if they lose control of themselves every time they drink, even if they don’t drink “that often” they still have an alcohol problem. You can’t fix them. They will need to fix themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 03:09 AM
9

Yep, play as in he likes to play the role of a monogamous guy, but it’s ok if he’s doing that with multiple women simultaneously?? Block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 03:04 AM
47

Sad part is the idea of some dude not even wanting to drink water unless it’s colored or flavored is seriously believable :(. Glad it was a parody but definitely sad to think there are people like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:14 PM
27

I mean the whole first part was bad and then you get to the last bit description of him and his weed and cheating and then it’s whooop there it is- NVM city.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 02:22 PM
5

I wouldn’t have accepted in the first place. let’s say you do show up- you leave as soon as he says “I’m parked in a temp zone and only have 25 minutes”. And if you for some reason stick around after that, you leave when he answers an unimportant phone call! Omg. So much bad in this, why bother giving him any more chances? She’s already wasted too much time on this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 06:27 PM
49

I also think how she described the reactions of other men who heard the story is telling— they probably never would have thought to do this, but really it is the only way Hollywood can fix the problem. The male stars need to hold the studios accountable. If the two roles are equally important to the movie then both should be paid the same, and stars should be able to discuss their salary offers with others, to ensure fairness. Otherwise the current system can continue and women will always be lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:33 PM
26

All I can say is I’m glad she says fiancée, meaning they are not married yet. So she at least can leave him and not be in a relationship. But hopefully she finds a custody lawyer to figure the rest out. Chances are if he treats her like this now, it will only get worse if she marries him. He’s deciding when to cheat her on her and when not to? Saying he will stop after the baby is born is a total lie- there will always be an excuse for him (oh you were sleep deprived from feeding the baby and di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 11:58 PM
76

Also lesson: you can leave a relationship for any reason, and you shouldn’t have to justify that to the media. She clearly felt disrespected and didnt want to stay; that is reason enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:24 PM
24

Also. .. use of “female” , and implying that if they were 18 years old and one day then that would be acceptable no matter how old he is..... NO. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 04:16 AM
3

Can you imagine if like she didn’t know he was married and innocently tagged him in it?? Unlikely since chance are this guys profile pic is probably him with his wife and his kids lol, but you never know what lies he could have told her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 10:49 PM
7

Yep- the whole industry is sketchy. I was dating a guy and he had been talking about moving and changing careers, but then he decided to buy part ownership into his friend’s stupid cowboy themed bar in a college town instead. When I questioned if that was really what he wanted to do and pointed out it was contradicting what he said he wanted, he got all mad at me for calling him out lol. We stopped dating quickly after that. The bar itself was cheesy and trashy (mechanical bull, etc) and it defi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 10:40 PM
14

Also, anytime their profile is a pic of them in a group where they’ve tried to crop people out, instead of trying a nice pic just of themselves- low effort!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 06:23 AM
3

His second sentence had a typo, and his first sentence wasn’t anything unique and super low effort. Why would she respond anyway? At least he weeded himself out quickly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 03:49 AM
18

Schmidt spent months cheating on and lying to Cece because he couldn’t decide between her and another girl so he just dated both of them. The fact that she still ends up marrying him is mind boggling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 03:42 AM
48

he keeps saying that this day is all about her and such like having one day where people are nice to her is such a bad thing to request? Plus all the activities sound like they would be fun for the whole group- brunch, pool party, board games.... all group activities. It’s not like she is going to get a massage at a spa and they were all told to stand around her and watch lol. I wonder if the dude who wrote this is the annoying guy of the friend group and the girlfriend probably doesn’t like him…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 03:02 AM
7

One of my good friends is a wedding photographer, but she said if I ever get married she will vet another photographer for me because she’s my friend and wants to enjoy the day with me, which I totally get! She tried to do photography for another not as close friend as a gift... it was a total shit show and the girl treated her awful, that was basically the end of the friendship. Sad how ungrateful people act when they receive things for free. But yea so many people ask their artist and cook fri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 12:42 AM
7

Also does he want to learn Mandarin or Cantonese, or both? I mean, he probably hasn’t thought that far yet....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 11:11 PM
13

Ooooooh the best part is thrown in there at the end— he wants a daily message from you saying you love him and support him, but also he gets to do whatever he wants? Hahahahah. I imagine even if you read this email hours ago that you are still laughing. What utter ridiculousness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 11:07 PM
13

Exactly- when you have a profession where it’s any sort of service, some friends and family expect you to give it them for free all the time, as if the money and time you invested learning that skill means nothing. I mean if you want to do people a favor that’s nice, but it should not be a given and many people will try to take advantage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 11:02 PM
17

Plus the 23 and the u year old kids were definitely both old enough to do a lot of things themselves- your ex and them should have been doing all their own laundry and your ex should have been doing the laundry for the youngest child too. I mean, the whole situation is bad but damn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 03:49 PM
27

Watch him not even notice anything, except maybe the food, which he will eat without saying thank you or asking where it came from.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 05:46 AM
7

Maybe it’s supposed to be brainwashing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 05:45 AM
21

Omg the fact that it’s high maintanance to expect that a guy actually call a date a date is sad. That’s such a low bar!! We here all know that hang out, chill, etc are code for casual and that he doesn’t want to commit to a date. He should actually say it’s a date otherwise you’re in limbo and it’s not worth the trouble.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:50 AM
49

Gross. The next step in his plan was probably to try to guilt you to have sex with him because of course being given the privilege of sitting in his Aston Martin for five minutes means you would owe him! 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:46 AM
22

Plus I think of a HVM being someone who fits into my life and has time to make me a priority. Some high paying careers lead to terrible work life balance. If I want someone to add something positive to my life they probably will not be able to do that if they are working 80+ hours a week and checking their phone all night. That does not equate to what I would need from a man I’m in a relationship with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:44 AM
25

One crazy part from the show Grace and Frankie is when grace finds her ex husbands stash of presents in the closet after they divorced. She had thought he was always so thoughtful getting her stuff, then she realized he just bought a whole bunch of random stuff that he figured would look pretty, and gave them to her whenever he thought she was mad or whatever (if you don’t know the plot he turned out to be gay and left her for a guy). So she realized that all the gift giving was meaningless and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:36 AM
25

I like to hike and am getting back into it, but even with a guy I knew really well and was in a relationship, I’m not sure I would consider it a date. Maybe if he made it clear and organized it and brought stuff for a picnic, I would be ok with that from someone in a relationship. But from a guy I’m only just getting to know or for a first date? Hard pass!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:27 AM
74

I also think part of the problem is burnout from all that time mothering. If their marriage was mostly them taking care of the husband and children and the care was never reciprocated or the husband just didn’t contribute, and now they are divorced, why would they want more of that? A single woman actually has less to do because she only has to take care of herself. Whereas a guy of the same age, maybe he is also divorced and also used to having a woman/wife take care of him, so now as a single …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 11:26 PM
4

Exactly- I just don’t see how you do intimate physical contact with strangers in a safe way, unless you both agree to test and quarantine completely beforehand lol. If you follow fds rules you won’t be having sex with strangers anyway, problem solved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 06:03 PM
5

Yea things like WOW are a little easier to avoid that crap than fps. I was always able to find a guild of likeminded people to play with, and having a mic wasn’t usually necessary, so it was easier to hide your gender from strangers. Most people assume most players are dudes, so when playing with any pickup group you can just go along and not have to deal with any harassment, especially if you don’t bring up the fact that you’re a girl with people you don’t know. It still happens. There is also …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 03:14 PM
17

Buying groceries is my least favorite chore. If someone suggested that as a date, immediate no lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 03:07 PM
29

I wouldn’t even call that a compliment. It’s a cut and paste they’ve just sent to 100 women on all the OLD sites they’re using and they don’t think enough of you to even be original or make any effort with you. A cold open like that is a block!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 05:27 AM
4

Yes! Block them so they don’t see anything. There is no point wasting any mental energy or time thinking about them. They will never come and say “oh wow I’m so sorry, your pic made me realize how wrong I was” and actually be genuine. It will just be an attempt to worm their way back in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 04:06 AM
75

Plus it sounds like he was just going to wait until the evening to even confirm plans, like texting her with only 30 minutes notice and expecting her to go along with it? Just no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 03:37 AM
8

Also my car will unlock just the driver door, you should e to hit the unlock button twice to unlock all the doors. I like this because that way I can just unlock one door and don’t have to worry about someone trying to sneak in the other door as I’m trying to get in. May sound paranoid but you just never know! Also i am super particular about locking my car when I leave but the car also will automatically lock if you’ve been away from it for like 5 minutes or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 08:55 PM
35

Plus there’s so many instances where a woman has tried giving a compliment and the man has interpreted that as “interest”. You can’t compliment men who are friends or acquaintances because they will read too much into it. It’s not worth the risk for women. Men need to compliment each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 03:53 PM
45

What’s weird is when they all start commenting on it like now it’s just another way for the old boys club to celebrate each other with talking abiut all their long beards. This happened a few times in one large work meeting and it’s like... ugh. No women are talking about their grooming habits or lack there of in a work meeting. (I mean my sister and I are both laughing about not shaving legs as often but there’s a proper place for that and work isn’t one). Of course there’s also the guys who vi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 10:51 PM
27

Plus it sounds like he met her when she was younger and “waited around” until he could make it appear slightly more acceptable to ask her out, probably after flirting with her all that time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 08:47 PM
6

Oh on 4.... I had a guy who tried to pass off all his slurs and mean comments by misspelling them (we were talking through text). So he would say “that’s ghay” and “she is a sloot”. As if that would make any of the things he said ok- it wasn’t. He also has a twitter account wher all he does is pick fights with people for no reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 12:24 AM
15

I am not sure he is in an open relationship yet. I wonder if he is saying that and lining up girls so he’s already got them on deck for when his current gf leaves halfway across the world to get away from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 12:17 AM
12

Many a year ago at game stop I bought an Xbox 360, dance central game, and Starcraft for PC game, and the cashier was stunned when I said it was all for me. Also my friends 7 year old was impressed by my gaming set up whenever they visited, we had fun and played the Xbox connect kid games and when at their house we played rock band. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:20 PM
2

Paddle boarding is so fun. I started this spring because corona lol. If you get an anchor you can basically take a nap on your board and not have to worry about drifting. Then get back up and paddle around some more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 12:36 PM
9

Yes once a person is aware something they do is hurting someone else, they should work on correcting it. If they keep doing something when they know it is hurting someone and not doing anything about, just saying “that’s just the way I am” then they are purposefully being hurtful at that point. We all have things to work on, and coming up with a strategy is part of being a considerate human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:51 AM
23

I think for people who don’t have the situations to meet other organically out and about find it appealing. But I don’t see the point in pursuing it now during the pandemic- there’s simply no safe way to go beyond talking because any dinner restaurant dates with strangers are just too much risk for me to accept during COVID times. So no point wasting time chatting with a bunch of people now when the next step could not occur for many months. Also theoretically OLD is supposed to help you find co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:46 AM
7

Why am I not surprised? :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 01:43 AM
74

Yea I seriously don't get it, it's like they have to make being a lesbian all about them too. It's a space and a relationship that by definition has no men in it, and they must insert themselves anyway. Get outta here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 10:52 PM
248

Also, he think he has WIT because he came up with the world's lamest, creepiest joke? Ughhh. Can you imagine how the poor sister felt, having the courage to come out to them and the first thing that pops in his head is some sick objectifying comment?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 10:50 PM
32

This is why there is such a problem with "leftover women" in China, that is, highly educated women who can't find husbands. Guys don't want to date a woman who is more educated than he is, in fact they want to date down. So the guys with PhD want a woman with an MA max. The guys with an MA want a girl with a BA max, and so forth down the line. Which leaves the women with PhDs nobody to date except guys with no degree who couldn't find anybody else, so they'd rather stay single. Edit: I should me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 10:38 PM
31

It's like the idea of investment - low risk, low reward. Low value date, low value commitment. If they only offer coffee the interest is low, so it is not worth your time to accept because there will be little to no benefit to you, and a high risk that you will waste your time meeting a guy who isn't that interested, while he will have only sacrificed $10 (if he actually buys both coffees). If the guy is at least willing to invest the time and money of a nice dinner he thinks you and your time a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 10:33 PM
29

Yep, he should have been blocked after the “hey sexy”. Then no one would have to be subjected to the other drivel he typed next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 07:07 PM
42

It starts so early- the conditioning that tells women that men’s behavior is always the woman’s fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:10 PM
8

Took me to some dive bar for Valentine’s Day because his friend owned it so he probably got the meal for free or severely discounted. Keep in mind we would go there drinking often with friends. But it wasn’t a date place. No one else was there on Valentine’s Day lol. Ugh. I should have run them ladies. Hindsight 20/20.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:08 PM
88

Maybe it’s not a misspelling, I took it like “got this one in the bag” type of phrase. But it’s gross no matter which way the guy meant to type it lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 03:54 PM
29

Ugh road rage is so stupid and u fortunately can get way out of hand. Recently there was a guy who had gotten mad at a couple motorcyclists. Many miles later he crossed all ten lanes of traffic to run one of them off the road. At first the cops had let him go but then someone with a dash cam posted the footage and it was crystal clear it was intentional (the guy had claimed it was an accident I think). He has now been arrrsred and faces like 11 different t charges. He could have killed the motor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 05:04 PM
39

My dad was telling me about an article on the Air Force and how they had seen a big uptick in men’s veteran suicides and were concerned. They don’t know the statistics for women vets however because they did not even think to keep track of it. Is veteran suicide a problem across the board? Yes and these people need help. But the fact that there is a problem that people didn’t even think to keep track of, they can’t possibly move towards fixing until they acknowledge it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 09:22 AM
67

Also I loved how they tortured him with dinner. Can you imagine everyone else eating delicious homemade stuff and he has to site there eating his hot dogs in his shake and embarrassment. I would however never hang out with that guy again. No one needs some racist mansplainer in their lives
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:30 PM
7

Yea workplace harassment so hilarious hahaha what a great joke!!! 🤮🤮🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️block and delete for sure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:27 PM
27

She also didn’t mention what they did on her birthday instead. So I assume they did nothing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 03:01 PM
52

He can’t even shake her hand goodbye like a normal person, that has to be a neg too. Wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:58 PM
9

Yes you are allowed to think about yourself the way you want to. In fact so much of society talks us down, we need to talk ourselves up! Also the question is stupid, let’s stop rating ourselves and others. The number system is lame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:57 PM
73

And the guys complaining that a woman having a standard of “I don’t date rapists” must also be rapists because otherwise why would they be offended? Why would it affect them? It affects them because if a woman won’t date that kind of guy then she won’t date any other guy who treats women poorly either so abusive creeps are all losing their chances to date and they’re mad about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:47 PM
23

The last frame reminds me of a revelation I had the other day. This whole myth about guys not being able to find the clit. This is a huge cultural lie that has been perpetuated to excuse men from any responsibility in having to even try to pleasure a woman. The clit is right there. It is not actually hard to find. By trying to claim it’s invisible it gives guys a free pass to either ignore it or claim such ignorance of not knowing “what to do with it” that they can just not even bother. Sure eac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 05:36 AM
172

But if women can’t work and make money how does he expect them to pay for dates? Wait. Was he expecting their fathers to pay for their dates???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 01:42 AM
69

The only person who was cute when they joked about having nuggies was baby yoda.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 01:41 AM
28

He's doing management of his "job searching"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 10:37 PM
57

Ok hear me out - what if the kids are literally from the past, like they came from the past to the future using a time machine and he's been helping them out a bit? /s Although it's probably a lot more likely that he has kids from a previous relationship and apparently he doesn't care that much about them or let them factor into his current life at all. Bleh :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 10:36 PM
13

True. I have decided eating in a restaurant is more risk than I am willing to take right now. What I would consider is a guy ordering food for delivery that we eat together over zooom, it you’d have to figure out a way for him to pay but not have tour address (or I guess he could order it and you go pick it up curbside). All very tricky honestly, if you want to go past just plain talking without doing too much in person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 09:07 PM
35

🤣 I think there are at least 3 books. I did like the second one but haven’t read all of them. But yea I am on team “leave him at the first betrayal”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 07:14 PM
12

This made me remember one of my old roommates. He was a total slob so the guy who owned the house (who also lives in the house) didn’t let him renew lease. He then had to spend a lot of time cleaning up the dudes room after he left. We got a female roommate to replace him and the roommate the first day was like “omg the bathroom smells amazing like a rose garden!” Because he was so excited to have a non slob person living there and she had brought all her fun toiletries that made the bathroom ac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:38 AM
181

I think I the problem come when so many women cohabitate with the assumption that it will lead to marriage, and then are left high and dry when it turns out that is not what is happening. It sounds like instead you have picked a partner and I assume keeping yourself and finances strong and safe so if marriage isn’t your goal that’s fine. But too many women move in and play house and think they are on the road to wifedom and then find out the guy doesn’t actually want to marry them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 10:52 PM
26

Good way to weed out people who trample your boundaries very early!! Honestly if you tell them you don’t drink ever and they try to force you to drink even once, then you just leave then and forget about them because they don’t respect you, no use wasting any more time. I also have no reason behind it but hardly drink anymore either and probably wouldn’t drink on the first few dates ever again. I will occasionally have a glass of wine with my sister or close friends and that’s a safe environment…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 04:53 PM
108

Yepppp. Was 25 messing around with a 43 year old. The whole time he wanted to keep it casual and I agreed especially since I knew I was moving in like 6 months. 1 week before my flight he was like “I want you to quit your job and be with me, take my last name, I am getting old and want kids”. 🤮🤮🤮🤮 I said no and moved anyway - also couldn’t believe he was that serious about it since we had never had any conversations about going that route. I heard from mutual friends he was engaged within six mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 04:07 AM
42

Plus they are not even unique- great and incredible? Those aren’t even specific. I’ve told many friends throughout my life that they are awesome. Does that mean that actually it was all meaningless because only one of them gets to actually be called awesome, and they can throw a fit hearing me describe anyone else that way? LOL. This guy has some serious issues. He needs to learn to be proud of himself. He can’t base his whole self worth on something like that. And he can’t mandate how his girlf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 04:42 PM
18

Exactly- a less than one year old infant will not understand the whys of any discipline. Of course if they crawl out of where they are supposed to be and headed toward danger, you have to pick them up and move them for their safety. But you don’t hit them for it! To them they are just crawling and exploring at that age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 04:36 PM
80

Plus the fact he kept using the world girl instead of woman rubbed me the wrong way. Clearly fantasy and clearly not caring about the whole person, just who she would be to him, and even in his fantasy, not an adult with their own autonomy. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 04:20 AM
15

Exactly this is a textbook #thathappened. And yes any time you get a new piercing you have to be careful to keep it clean and not touch it, you have to be careful with nipple piercings and sex for a while until it heals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:32 PM
17

Plus, “I hate this type of woman” is a huge red flag too imo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:24 PM
13

He didn’t even date the daughter, just “matched” with her on a dating site. Matching with people accomplishes and means nothing lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:26 PM
13

I used to play on an online site called cyber town, you would build a little house and have stuff and were part of groups with message boards and whatever. There was also a main lobby when you first logged in that was a total shit show because of the weirdos. I had a guy private message me to ask if I wanted to have cyber sex. We didn’t even talk before that but I had a female sounding login name. He knew nothing about me, he just sent me a cold call equivalent of a gross sexual text. I was 12. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:18 PM
16

Or the problem with those is there is this one off thing that they post about but then reading the post you see all these other glaring red flags and it’s like... ok him having to do the dishes once and complaining about it is stupid, but him trying to make her sick on purpose is abusive and she should leave him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:24 PM
16

Plus who starts a random video chat with someone who hasn’t even replied to the other messages, like, hoping they accidentally answer it? Lol no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:54 AM
4

Ugh. Ive heard the term nesting for pregnant women who prepare their space for the baby. A grown man keeping a pee cup in the corner probably with a bunch of other trash and who knows what that he is too lazy to put away? Gross!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:52 AM
61

“Please appreciate his presence”????? That’s all it takes? Omg no! Such a low bar. I am so glad my dad is awesome, he coached my rec basketball team, he attended school functions, he cooked as much as my mom did, I lived for his weekend breakfast crepes lol, there was never a question that he loved me and my sister dearly, he expresses his feelings and tells us how proud he is often, and is genuinely interested in our lives and seeing us grow up. I have so many memories of all of us as a family …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:30 PM
11

There’s certainly some people who benefit from it, like I know some who take cbd for anxiety and such. But I do think there is a lifestyle to frequent use where people just want to lay around high and that’s their main hobby, and I definitely can’t hang out with people like that nor would I want one as a partner. I also don’t drink alcohol much so really “partiers” are not my type.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 06:51 PM
18

Ive felt this less with the pandemic since I don’t go anywhere haha, but living in a state where Rec marijuana is legal is really hard when you don’t want to be around it. For me it’s a dealbreaker. I can’t be with someone who has it in their house, I don’t want to go anywhere where it’s being used, etc. I will certainly never use it myself (I get tested for my job). I guess you just have to be totally upfront about your boundaries, I have to say “420 UNfriendly”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 04:07 PM
62

Yep, he only decided he didn’t want to get a ring after she told him about the name thing. He is mad about that and won’t acknowledge it. He’s using sexism as an excuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 03:59 PM
32

I think they also deal with a lot of frustration that so many guys just want sex and not relationships. Also the fear of meeting up with a guy who turns out to be violent or rough and having to defend themselves or figure out a way to get out/away. As women we are so trained to only meet up with guys in public, have exit strategies, basically expect that any new guy may be a creep and have a way to get ourselves out, I wonder if gay men are taught the same things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 06:13 AM
16

I’m sorry you went through that and am glad it seems like you are doing better now! In the relationship reddits so many people complain that commenters “jump on the dump him train”, but when the person is clearly exhibiting abusive behavior the dump him/get away now train is the correct answer, there is no amount of “communicating” that will fix someone who threatens to beat up an animal because you refused to have sex with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 10:11 PM
2

Well he didn’t live in the same area so that is why he had to order for delivery but still, deciding even 2 days earlier would have made it way easier as he wouldn’t have had to complain to me about it 🤣.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 07:57 PM
23

Omg did you see the part on the last photo explaining that if a woman denies the interaction the first time that the man should try again, she’s doing it in purpose as a test??!!!!?? Rgggggggghhhhh. No. This just teaches men that no doesn’t mean no and that they should do their best to push boundaries. If a woman doesn’t want to talk to you and says so, believe her, and then leave her the fuck alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:09 PM
56

Also what’s wrong with having parents who have since gotten remarried? Tons of people have step parents due to high divorce rates. Why is that one of his standards? (I mean, the whole thing is messed up but that just seemed weird). Also just because he has been pulling out most of the time doesn’t mean he doesn’t have kids he doesn’t know about.... 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 04:25 AM
21

Exactly, I think a lot of people who hate on this sub just don’t understand the fundamental part that we are not playing games or setting out to manipulate. We are who we are and what we do is to protect ourselves and shows we value our own time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 12:05 AM
11

My ex decided really late he wanted to send me flowers. So he texted me at like 2 pm two days before Valentine’s Day to get the details of where to send them, I was busy working and didn’t see the text till I was going home at 5, gave him the info, but by then it was too late for him to order them to get delivered on Valentine’s Day so he blamed me for it. Because his lack of planning was somehow my fault and he expected me to text him back immediately when I was at work? This was just one aspec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 11:59 PM
8

I would be super suspicious about any guy looking for that on tinder- how do you really k ow the girlfriend is ok with it? You’d have to communicate a lot and with both of them directly to have any sense of what the situation is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:19 PM
10

Exactly, I have never regretted leaving, but have a few case where I should have left sooner!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:13 PM
37

Exactly, she already knew he was the same guy, trust your gut ladies! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:05 PM
10

I had a similar thing happen. I had hooked up with a friend of a friend and as far as we all knew he was single (and he told me so directly as well). I was at his house and then the doorbell rang, and it was a coworker of his he he said he Used to date but they had broken up but that she was not yet over it. So she was stopping by unannounced to talk to him? It made no sense. I ran upstairs because she was yelling at him in the doorway. He came up and asked me if I could go talk to her. Like wha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:06 PM
2

It doesn’t matter what you look like. They just don’t care if they are ruining your day, they have to say something. I was on my period and crawled out of bed and threw in leggings and a tshirt and big sunglasses that cover a lot of my face, to walk to go get a massage and some old dude passed me by and siad “with all due respect, you are so beautiful!”. Ugh. Like as if the all due respect part makes it ok? Just leave me alone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:00 PM
21

One funny bit from Gilmore girls is when Rory is going to her first school dance and Dean picks her up and honks outside. Her grandmother insisted that she not run out there- the man had to come to the door and ring the doorbell, he can’t just honk at you from outside. Then she made Rory wait until he came inside after honking several times with no response 🤣.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:57 PM
25

One step further, does OP want to be the wife of the creepy guy at the gym? You know, that guy that makes the staff uncomfortable because they see him staring at them? What if they have kids, does she want to be the wife of the creepy dad who checks out the teachers at parent teacher night? If there are this many instances of “wandering eyes” that it is making OP uncomfortable, other people are likely noticing it too. Women he check out will probably notice it and make a note of him and think he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:40 AM
91

Yes, it’s just not the same. Men fear getting rejected. Women fear literally getting murdered. Ignore a catcalled? He may be the type to follow you to your car and kill you. Talk back to a catcalled? He may be the type to folllow you and kill you. Maybe the catcalled is just that, and leaves you alone when you ignore it. But we don’t know what type catcaller we are dealing with, they don’t wear signs!! Sadly for our safety we have to assume every catcaller may be the type to escalate to violence…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:45 PM
6

I’m so sorry that these friends treated you that way. No one deserves that. If they think their behavior is acceptable you are right to cut them off. And I hope you can find support elsewhere. I had something similar where I was going through a really tough time, and I was ashamed to admit it, and didn’t tell anyone. I got kicked out of university for bad grades and finally had to tell my parents. When my roommate and our mutual friends heard about it they all rants at me at a dinner in a restau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 03:05 PM
13

Exactly, the whole “I’m a dad with a shot gun” thing is such bullshit because it takes away the daughters choice—- it should be her decision when and with whom to have sex with, and her father should not be involved. Also the fact that he feels like he has to scare guys away with a shot fun just reinforces the fact that he Knows a lot of men don’t know what consent is so he has to forcibly stop them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 07:54 PM
19

Exactly. Maybe he had experiences in the past with women only wanting his money. He could still have treated OP like an equal person, maybe saying he had some money saved up and at least contribute for his half of expenses. It still would have been a lie though, planted in mistrust. At some point you have to treat your partner like a real human being, and if you can’t do that, then you don’t deserve to have a partner. The fact that he would let her sell an heirloom and sit and watch her suffer i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 03:22 PM
7

I hear ya on the personality part. So many threads in relationships Reddits talk about the significant other not setting boundaries with their own family (especially in cases where family are mean to the wife and the husband doesn’t tell them to stop). If someone has a personality where they are walked all over and can’t set healthy boundaries with others it really makes me question them as a partner. If someone is being outright mean to me, my partner should not be ok with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:17 PM
31

Ugh I would also say that willingness to marry after 3 months is a huge red flag!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:54 AM
28

Exactly. I saw many complaints along the lines of “wait so now it’s not ok for me to even hug my female coworker?!!?” . Yes, Steve, in fact it was never ok to hug your coworker but she didn’t tell you because the work environment was so toxic that she feared retaliation for saying anything. Smh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 04:01 PM
48

Also a lot of martial arts isn’t just about beating people up. In my tae kwon do class the instructor also talked about avoiding situations, listening to your instinct and getting out before you put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation. Trusting tour mind was just as important as trusting tour body. It was also cool to break a board in half with my own hand😂.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:23 PM
3

FYI you can also check your credit report one a year at each one of the credit reporting bureau websites directly - Experian, equifax, and transunion. It is best to spread it out, for example check one every few months, if you are at all concerned about any false things popping up in your report.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:27 AM
10

Plus the fact tha they were hooking up at work, they may both end up getting fired since things like that may be against policies, and depending on if there is any supervisory relationship between the two of them that would also be a big no no. Definitely not worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:32 AM
22

So crazy too that the post keeps referring to the guy as the mistress’ “work husband” like some sort of official title, to differentiate from her actual legal husband (and also it seems to give some misplaced legitimacy to their relationship considering her work husband is the actual husband of someone else)!! I hate the term work husband/wife. It’s gross. And clearly in this scenario they took it way too far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:28 AM
21

Omg lol. Just realized this one guy friend who I hooked up with a few times is almost always the first one to like my Facebook posts, and he likes every single one of them. I would never do anything with him again anyway. He is the type to have a bunch of girls on deck, and doesn’t want a relationship, and probably watches all of their social media so he’s around in case any reach out. Now I know I deserve better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:11 AM
8

When I got in a car accident which totaled my car, the guy whose fault it totally was tried hitting on me while we were standing on the side of the road waiting for the police. 🤮 He never even reported it to his insurance, but since he got several tickets for the accident (illegal left turn, expired license and expired registration), his insurance company was able to take responsibility on his behalf and pay up. Luckily I never had to have any contact with him ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:50 PM
4

Plus, some places have common law marriage laws, so even if you aren’t officially married, some of those financial ties for enough time together could lead to common law, which could make things difficult during breakups. I would never buy a house or other big financial thing with someone i wasn’t married to, there are just way too many risks for it to be totally messy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:03 PM
7

Oh lucky for me then I don’t cook that great, it’s passable, but probably not “keep a guy around just for the meals” good 😂.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:01 PM
8

Haha and that’s totally fine. My sister and I would go to Perkins (brunch type diner with lots of seniors there because of the discounts) all the time for potato pancakes and hang out. But, now as a 33 year old woman I would not want a guy to take me there for a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 04:52 PM
29

Also, secret billionaire who hides it by going to Applebee’s? Just no. I hate the food there, I would never go there regardless of budget, it’s awful. Did anyone else see the reddit thread about the super rich guy who hid it and let his girlfriend pay for everything, never contributing even his share, and made her sell her deceased mothers violin to pay for their pets vet bill? That type of dishonesty and heartlessness can not be moved past. If a guy is so worried about being taken advantage of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 04:47 PM
50

See, he was doing that so he knew other guys would too. It was fine for him to objectify other women but he didn’t want other men looking at you the same way he looked at other women :(. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:07 AM
9

What worries me about this show and these types of relationships is the power dynamic for women marrying men from the US. It is such a setup for them to be in an abusive relationship and the women will put up with horrible treatment because they want to immigrate and can’t/don’t know how to stand up for themselves. They are giving up their whole support system and become completely reliant on this guy who is likely a LVM who couldn’t get anyone else. I haven’t seen the show, just clips, and mayb…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:58 AM
4

I hate notifications in general and keep them turned off for most apps, especially social media. This way I can look at things in my time. It’s not like someone messaging via Facebook will ever be urgent. I’m also trying to limit my time in general and have started using my phone time limits so it limits how much time per day I can be on an app, or will limit access after a certain time of day. Obviously you can override it, but it helps limit perpetual checking of things out of habit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:41 AM
31

My hair is a dark blonde/light brown. One of my exes wanted me to dye it really light blonde, I guess he thought it would be sexier, I don’t know. You can guess how much effort he put into his appearance (hint: none). I didn’t dye my hair for him. That was like 12 years ago. I now have light blonde highlights because I like them lol. But i wouldn’t change my hair style or color for a guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 02:59 AM
26

Yep! One of my exes was 32 and he had never had a girlfriend or long term relationship, and had only done one night stands/fwb. Should have been a red flag. He treated me ok (but not great) for awhile but then within a few months quickly went downhill and I felt like it was just fwb, he never put any effort in, etc. the last straw was one night he actually texted me “booty call?” That was it. I never replied. There were probably other things I missed too, looking back. Hopefully from the sub I h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 12:03 AM
5

I think I’m this context LL- low libido and HL- high libido. M/F to describe their genders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:12 PM
1

That’s a good way to think of it, thanks! It was a long time ago so I don’t dwell on it, but thought it was a story worth sharing here. Thanks to everyone for their support.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:07 PM
5

Yes, it was over ten years ago so I am over it. I broke up with him, and although it hurt at the time, I’m sure I’m better off in the long run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:00 AM
6

Yea, I assume he knew it would be terrible news and tried to come up with a way to make it less harsh to say, I don’t know, but it was rough. And the fact that he also didn’t actually get me any other gift besides that one...🤨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 01:13 AM
35

Ok, here is my worst gift giving ever story about my ex from college: We had been dating for about a year, and then had to be long distance for a few months. I flew to visit him for Christmas and spent a ton of time finding personalized gifts for him that he would like, even with my tight budget (I was in college and only working part time and did not have lot of money after rent). I flew there with all these presents for him. We used to watch the Love Actually movie together. You know the scene…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 11:05 PM
16

It can depend on the couple, some may like public proposals, but they should only be done if both people have actually had a conversation (or several!) about marriage, and you can be really sure the person is actually going to say yes. Otherwise it really is too risky, and I agree, can create a bad environment if it makes someone feel pressured to not be honest about their answer. Women are already told too many ways that it's our job to keep others from being embarrassed or having their feeling…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 11:39 PM
4

Yes, after reading through all of this I am realizing this is the crux of some of my issues with an ex. He was in a non ambitious part of his life and really didn't have a lot of future to go towards, nor was he making any strides to improve his situation. I thought at first that I could get past it and support him. And he kept assuring me that he would be able to figure things out. But then I started seeing his lack of commitment come through in other areas too, and I realized he was not capabl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:13 PM
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