~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 2 | Torn Between Walking Away or Rebuilding After BetrayalLeaving is best for you and your daughters, hands down. Your stbx gaslight you into doing a pick me dance while concealing cheating, and you don’t even know the extent. Now she wants to rug sweep and keep the pressure on you to do all the changes without taking accountability or fixing herself? Bro, your stbx is abusive, and you will become a shell of a man if you stay. That’s just about the worst possible thing you could do for your daughters. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/26 11:18 PM |
| 6 | Found the affair yesterdaySo often people focus on whether the person can change and avoid a repeat. Of course that is an important aspect to consider, but I’d argue that’s the wrong aspect to evaluate at this point. Focusing on them making change and stopping, assumes their love was genuine before and the relationship as you knew it was worth saving, baring the cheating. I’d seriously evaluate what your relationship actually was. Not the just the facade or curated aspects you saw, but the full picture including her secr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/01/26 05:34 AM |
| 1 | On the brink of divorce but feeling stuckI see many valid reasons explaining why you are considering divorce, but the only one you mention for staying is the kids. I’m not going to assume that is an exhaustive list, but my suggestion would be to start there - really weigh the pros and cons of each option. Initiating divorce proceedings doesn’t mean that you can’t back out before it is finalized, but I think you should consider the very real possibility of how your wife will interpret that message. She might be saying she wants to work … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/26 04:48 PM |
| 1 | 2-2-5-5 vs 7-7Currently on 2-2-5-5 and have been for the past 2-1/2 years. It’s ok, but the frequent transitions are hard on the kids and definitely obstructive for work. Is there a current schedule? Many times things default to what is already in place. If your kids are old enough to weigh in, maybe that’s an option. If you have an attorney, this is a conversation best suited for them. As with all things in family court, the best way is to focus on the best interests of the children. Good luck man. I hope th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/26 04:14 PM |
| 1 | How do you handle high conflict communication?These are great suggestions. I’d add BIFF (also Bill Eddy) for communication specifically. There are other methods. In general Grey Rock is critical. Best thing you can understand — abusive people are going to find a way to be abusive. The court can order all communication go through a coparenting app, that it only be about the children, etc. and the abuser is still going to send dozens of unnecessary messages or call / text anyway. They’ll find a way to harass you. Just let them scream into the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/26 02:15 AM |
| 3 | So frustrated it's funnyBrother, I’m over 2 years in and it’s been exactly like this the entire time. She lost control and is desperate for any and every chance to get sympathy so she doesn’t have to face herself. Abusers abuse — physically, emotionally, financially, legally… Let her scream into the void. Your attorney knows what is and isn’t necessary to respond to. Honestly, my ex’s pile of conflicting and irrelevant personal grievances is a gift. Let her keep digging her own grave, it’s nothing but proof of her dysf… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/25 11:50 AM |
| 15 | Why don’t you hear it from them?You’re getting what you are exposing yourself to. Go over to any of the infidelity subs and you’ll find plenty of women dealing with this exact situation. This isn’t a gendered issue, it is a cheater issue. Sure there are some obvious financial injustices men are more likely to face, but that is much bigger and broader conversation. Your ex is a cheater. She is a selfish, entitled person of low moral and ethical character. She also happens to be a woman. She could be all those same things and be… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/25 09:05 AM |
| 13 | After DivorceShe’s not living her best life bro. She’s desperate for you and everyone else to believe that. You’ve got a shit sandwich. I can relate. I’ll share something a bit personal with you that I think is appropriate given where you’re at. Something a very special woman in my life told me. We were reminiscing on some really great times we shared. I told her I love living my life. She responded that she likes seeing it on me. That’s what you need to find, and what your kids need to see on you too. Find … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/25 04:18 AM |
| 1 | PostnupTalk with an attorney, but generally they are worthless. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/25 09:37 PM |
| 6 | Pictures of the ex.Hidden folder in a cloud service. I’ll share with the kids if they are interested some day, and eventually they can decide if they want to keep or delete. I was the kid once and it meant a lot to me to see the 2 or 3 photos that existed of my parents together, and photos of us as a family. I was old enough to remember when they divorced, but it was still nice to have the early childhood memories to look back on. New partner should understand value for the kids. Even if you kept a couple more mem… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/25 09:01 PM |
| 2 | Fell in love with a coworker..Hope it continues. Sorry you experienced that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/25 11:17 PM |
| 1 | Fell in love with a coworker..I should have said - they don’t need couples therapy right now. This guy definitely needs therapy. Couples therapy is a waste of money until he fixes his issues. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/25 11:16 PM |
| 3 | Fell in love with a coworker..They don’t need couples therapy. The relationship and wife aren’t the issue. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/25 10:59 PM |
| 2 | Fell in love with a coworker..She’s almost certainly better off if he leaves. This guy is very unlikely to change. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/25 10:58 PM |
| 2 | Fell in love with a coworker..Did you leave? | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/25 10:58 PM |
| 3 | Fell in love with a coworker..You are making all kinds of excuses and full of cognitive dissonance. All these revelations about your toxic marriage and communication issues with your wife who you describe as “really the best” and who “does EVERYTHING”. You aren’t going to find clarity while you’re clinging to these excuses to avoid confronting yourself. Perhaps these actually were issues, unlikely. If they were, you are almost certainly exaggerating them now. The reality is you are looking for excuses to blame your wife and … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/25 10:53 PM |
| 1 | Questions about couples therapyI’m glad it did, although it gives me no satisfaction. If you need anything, don’t hesitate. Good luck bro. Stay strong. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/25 02:12 AM |
| 1 | Questions about couples therapyQuick post history search seems to indicate she is a serial cheater, highly manipulative, accepts no accountability, and plays the victim. Is that accurate? If so, that is the absolute worst person to enter couples therapy with. You would be better off lighting your money on fire. Do NOT go to therapy with this woman. She is abusive. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/25 12:14 AM |
| 7 | I am really sad for the men that do family activities with the SBTXWI’ve been the kid, the betrayed husband, and the ex. All I’m saying is your kids are happy. You get time with them. Then your looney ex goes back to the house you two bought and spends the night with her AP/Boyfriend talking about you… Enjoy that apartment with someone fun. Relish the fact you provided a sane presence for your kids and are still living rent free in your ex and her APs bedroom. You’re angry, justified. It’s blinding you the win you have. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/25 05:13 AM |
| 5 | I am really sad for the men that do family activities with the SBTXWDie on that hill brother. She’s going to be disrespectful regardless. Feeling foolish over it is entirely up to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/25 05:06 AM |
| 14 | I am really sad for the men that do family activities with the SBTXWShowing up amicably for the kids and finding a way to make it work is excellent coparenting. Mocking an ex as pathetic is what a deeply unhealthy and insecure person does. Dating a woman that talks about her ex in a derogatory way to satiate your ego and compensate for insecurities is pretty pathetic. Focusing on all the ways your toxic cheating ex is super dysfunctional and disrespectful to the point you reject time with the kids…bitter and childish. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/25 04:59 AM |
| 6 | Coping with betrayal from wife. Having hard time.It’s not your fault, partially or otherwise. You didn’t make her have sex with someone else. Doesn’t sound like she’s giving very sincere apologies my man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/25 06:30 PM |
| 3 | How to get over it?I’m sorry for what you experienced. It’s an incredible pain, and it’s very disruptive. You’ve already gotten good advice from most of the commenters. Only thing I’d add is I’d suggest blocking her. There’s no reason to allow her access to you unless you share children. Her occasional “sweet talking” is just prolonging your healing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/25 03:25 PM |
| 0 | I’m starting to think that being single is the way to goI re-read this and was a bit hasty. I’ll edit the post, acknowledging that. OP, apologies for the insinuation. I’m not sure if I misread this or what, but I felt like it was a bit more derogatory and objectifying. I’m looking at it again and the post isn’t necessarily doing that. I was unfair in regard to that comment. Addressing the word choice- I feel like pandering to misogyny is still correct, no? As in pandering to the sentiment existing within a group as opposed to the individuals. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/25 10:28 PM |
| 1 | I need some encouragementAnytime man. Feel free to message at any point. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/25 10:19 PM |
| 1 | I need some encouragementI got and still get the same. It’s my fault, and she treats me absolutely terribly. I’d read the book “Splitting” to prepare for your divorce. Mine also claims she’s never been better. I know that is a blatant lie, but I honestly wouldn’t care if it was the truth. You’re going to have a rough time with her, no doubt, but stay focused and things will improve. Things you didn’t even expect. I’m sorry you are dealing with such a mess. What she did is horrible and nobody deserves that. I’m excited f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/25 10:10 PM |
| 2 | I need some encouragementI left a serial cheater. Didn’t know it’s who she was until the end, but it became very toxic, very quickly once her hidden identity was revealed. I imagine that’s what you’ve been dealing with for 10 years. It was hard, still is some days, but definitely less often. Get some space and perspective and you’ll be amazed. I’m sure you can rationalize this, but maybe it will help for someone else to say it - there is pretty much no way it could be worse than a serial cheater, recovering alcoholic th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/25 10:00 PM |
| 5 | Play datesTheir friends have dads, some are probably more active at school or extracurriculars. That’s where I’d start. No shame in your situation. Many dad’s are in the same boat. Just have to be more active in the kids lives now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/25 09:52 PM |
| 1 | KARMA! Is it real?Yes and no. Is she likely to ever have a normal relationship or find true happiness? Probably not. Will you find satisfaction or feel vindicated in seeing how her life turned out without you? Probably not. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/25 01:29 PM |
| 17 | I’m starting to think that being single is the way to goBro… Curiosity got the best of me and I checked your post history. I guess I expected to find years of casual dating followed by a few years long relationships. I wondered how you came to this conclusion. Imagine my surprise when I discovered you have been separated from your ex wife for 15 months, and divorced for 8. The shocker though - you were posting about wanting to get married to your girlfriend of 2 DAYS less than 3 months ago!!! I read a little about how your marriage ended, and I’m sor… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/25 01:07 PM |
| 1 | Best way to prioritize sex?42 is perfectly fine as far as libido is concerned. Age isn’t the issue. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/25 11:46 AM |
| 2 | How did you handle knowing your Ex had start sleeping with another guy?I wasn’t going to reply because my situation is very different. Like many here, she was sleeping with other men throughout the marriage, that’s a different “handle” altogether. Anyway, I might have some advice on how you might approach this new reality. You mention the two of you remained friendly and are now, understandably, confused and hurt by her cold and clinical responses. Give her space. Don’t fight the change, embrace it. She needs to emotionally disconnect, maybe she already has. You ne… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/25 11:36 AM |
| 4 | Another cut to the old heartYou have to stop lionizing her. She cheated, that’s a huge character flaw. If you treated her poorly early in the relationship, there’s a good chance you might have some unresolved childhood (they almost always are) issues at play. Make your mental health a focus if so. In some respects it sounds like you might be struggling with an ego injury. I could be way off base, let me add that caveat. Also, I don’t say this with any blame or to offend, just an observation based on how you describe her an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 07:11 AM |
| 1 | Dating post-divorceOne day, maybe. I’ll just say - unfortunately, some legally and practically married men masquerade as “separated”. Women are trying to avoid these guys. I’m up front about my situation. I’m sure that helps. Only one woman in 18 months has taken issue with it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 06:37 AM |
| 5 | Another cut to the old heartYou’ll look at this much differently a year from now. Once the emotions are gone you will see clearly and recognize her vile and selfish behavior as it is. I know that doesn’t make the cut shallower today, and I’m truly sorry for the pain you are going through. She’s a mess, and, one day, you’ll be grateful she refused to reason with you. She liberated you from adding to your sentence. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 06:24 AM |
| 3 | I had to tell my son we were separatingWorst part for me was the day my, then 5 year old, son realized his dream childhood was forever changing. That sweet, innocent little boy who had found his voice was silent for an hour car ride and had zero interest sharing his new paw patrol toy. Most heartbreaking moment of my life, not even close. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 06:01 AM |
| 1 | My wife is undiagnosed BPD + NPD, we have a kid. I really want to leave but I love my kid. What is the best thing I can do for my kid? Looking for a divorce playbookYou definitely lose control day to day, and god knows what she’ll be exposed to. That part sucks…hard. But… She’ll have a stable sanctuary, which is way better for her. There’s a chance your wife gets less than 50/50 with those PDs. Long game my man. Just do right by your daughter and advocate for her when it matters. The rest - you have no control over. Give her a positive example and somewhere she can actually relax. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 05:30 AM |
| 6 | My wife is undiagnosed BPD + NPD, we have a kid. I really want to leave but I love my kid. What is the best thing I can do for my kid? Looking for a divorce playbookCameras in the house isn’t gonna happen. Read “Splitting” so you have an idea of the nightmare to expect in family court. Asset split is unlikely to deviate from how your state laws dictate they should - likely 50/50. She won’t want to split up until the BPD episode triggers her fear of abandonment and she splits on you and the NPD causes a narcissistic collapse and injury…then…discard and all bets are off. Even knowing the absolute hell you would be initiating, I’d encourage leaving. Staying is… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 04:58 AM |
| 4 | Divorcing manipulative wifeFile and go no contact. Let her talk to your attorney. 6 months she’s going to be lucky to get anything. You should figure out how to protect the pet, aside from that…this is all a non-issue. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 03:41 AM |
| 1 | Logistics of divorce.Parting with the stuff, actually becomes liberating at some point. The stuff doesn’t make you happy, not most of it anyway. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 03:32 AM |
| 2 | Did you guys give your STBXW the courtesy of letting her know you were dating again?Depends on how the coparenting relationship between the two of you is. I don’t think there is any benefit in a heads up about dating, unless you are likely to run into one another. Before introducing kids, almost certainly. Everyone has a different dynamic and only you can honestly gauge how this will go. Just my read, but it kinda sounds like you want her to know for validation in a way. I might be wrong, but that’s how it seems. Like it would give you some vindication for her cheating. It won’… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 03:22 AM |
| 5 | Dating post-divorceHasn’t been my experience at all. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 03:11 AM |
| 1 | How has your guys experience with co parenting been?The coparenting experience is going to vary greatly. Most of the responses seem to be from guys who had wives that cheated and have been awful since. That’s one extreme. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you’ll have very amicable co-parenting relationships. It’s dependent on so many factors - kids age, cause for divorce, how amicable the divorce was, financial situation for both parties, etc. I don’t fault anyone that has gone NC or LC with an abusive/cheating (often the same) exw, that’s val… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/24 05:26 PM |
| 6 | Why?I don’t know your situation, but I can pretty confidently predict she is insecure, probably as a result from unresolved childhood trauma. Likely traits of some personality disorder, maybe would even be diagnosed by a skilled clinician. I was betrayed too, and I can relate to the bewilderment. There won’t ever be an explanation that is satisfactory. The explanation is most likely that she’s childish. She sought validation as an unhealthy coping mechanism for her aforementioned insecurities. Perha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/12/24 01:19 PM |
| 9 | Single Dad and dating (questions)Dude… You got served…what…? 10 days ago..? C’mon. I gave you an honest answer. Dating in my 30s is so much better than it was in my 20s. That said, this is the big leagues, and cheaters are pariahs, it’s going to be hard. You could always lie, but I doubt that ends well. My advice - go be a good dad - for a while. Be a good coparent to your ex. Give that little girl the best possible outcome of this situation. 14 days and you’re wondering what dating is like? Get your priorities straight man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/24 05:39 AM |
| 3 | Single Dad and dating (questions)Honestly bro. I think your biggest hurdle is going to be explaining that you cheated on your wife with a 1 year old child at home. It’s not going to be easy to find the kind of woman you would want around for a kids entire childhood. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/24 05:21 AM |
| 3 | Badmouthing MeGreat perspective and advice | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/24 02:46 PM |
| 11 | Badmouthing MeGet your daughter to a therapist. Start researching parental alienation - Dr. Amy J.L. Baker has written some books on this, made appearances on podcasts, etc. I’ll leave I link to her website. This is the most severe issue you are facing. https://www.amyjlbaker.com/ Your most immediate is the financial. Make sure the attorney knows and listen to their advice. The smear campaign is, unfortunately, something very common. She is showing you who she is, perhaps she doesn’t always behave in this man… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/24 10:52 AM |
| 1 | Should I stay for the kids sake?No | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/24 12:41 AM |
| 7 | The next relationship…I tried to get some context from your post history. I’m not sure on the timeline, but it seems like your wife told you she wanted a divorce a year ish ago. Then you mention you’ve been in a relationship for about a year. If that’s even remotely true, you definitely didn’t have any time to heal or grow from the experience. You aren’t that bit of joy for someone else. You can be happy and someone else can be happy with you, but if your approach to a relationship is to be their source of happiness,… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/24 02:21 PM |
| 1 | How does one look for a lawyer?Avvo & Superlawyers | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/24 05:27 AM |
| 3 | I just sent my last text message to herNo contact. Focus on you. Address what appears to be the trauma bond, and (I wasn’t super clear on this) what sounds to be betrayal trauma along with anything else. Exercise, sleep, eat - repeat. Grieve, feel, survive. It is gonna suck. Don’t contact her. You’ve got this! | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/24 01:40 AM |
| 9 | I cheated, now the guilt trips are relentlessThere are 2 primary issues at play here, from my perspective. Your marriage was on life support and neither of you did much to fix it beyond a 2 month effort over the course of 3 years. Obviously the relationship wasn’t much of a priority. Based on how you have described it- this is shared responsibility. You and your ex both have to recognize your roles in letting it languish and grieve the end of that relationship and the future it promised. The two of you can, perhaps, discuss this, but that … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/24 12:56 AM |
| 0 | I came outYou are both lucky. Enjoy and appreciate the good person you found, regardless of what you call your relationship. Best of luck man. Thanks for this post! I appreciate having learned from your experience and perspective. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/24 05:45 AM |
| 5 | I came outI appreciate the thoughtful reply and admire the public vulnerability. I’m not saying you’re the asshole. I don’t diminish the happiness and joy you shared. Just some perspective from someone with experience being betrayed - again not the same - just maybe some similar feelings in the aftermath. For some of us, the entire relationship feels like a lie, for others it feels like it wasn’t enough, maybe that the participation was unequal - for some is a mixture of all of it. Regardless those years … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/24 05:26 AM |
| 6 | I came outI do have to ask, if you are comfortable sharing, is this something you knew? When you married her? You say you lied to yourself, you had convinced yourself. It reads as though you knew, but had some cognitive dissonance. Is that an accurate assessment? Many here were deceived, most through adultery. There are many forms of infidelity, I’m not saying this is, but I imagine she is experiencing many of the same emotions. I’m glad you are able to live authentically and honestly. I also commend you … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/24 05:08 AM |
| 1 | How do you prepare for seeing your child less?There’s nothing that can prepare you for this. It sucks, immensely. It gets easier with time. You’ll miss them like crazy, but will eventually start to fill that time with things you enjoy and get excited about. Meeting with a new woman, traveling, house projects, whatever. You’d give it all up to have them every day, but that’s not an option. My daughter is a huge daddy’s girl. She loves me the same as always. She’s much clingier now. Kids are resilient, but that doesn’t happen overnight and th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/10/24 02:54 PM |
| 3 | Is it cheaper to keep her?How is love not an issue? It seems like a one way street from what you describe. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/10/24 11:08 AM |
| 3 | How Do You Cope? (2 Years Out)Take a break from dating. It’s only adding to your the destruction of your self-esteem. The failure of your marriage isn’t on you. Where you went wrong is picking the wrong partner. You said it yourself, she’s a ho. I’m guessing you didn’t sign up to share your wife with anyone else when you proposed, she wasn’t the woman you thought she was and that’s on her for being dishonest and deceitful. She’s a con artist. I hear you on the feeling of being a mere resource. Even for people without all thi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/10/24 11:06 AM |
| 7 | Between yesterday and today I’ve had 4 people tell me how good I look. So I guess divorce looks good on me?It’s amazing what happens when you eliminate the toxins from your life. It’s hard to believe, but there is an impact to your body and physical health when you are being poisoned by a toxic person. You’re free to be your true self and the confidence that comes by living authentically is unmistakable. Congratulations on your freedom, peace, and health. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 05:56 AM |
| 2 | Divorced dads Playlist suggestionsI really have grown to love these. I’ve found so much great music from people through this. -Manchester Orchestra -Chris Stapleton -The Dead South -Fleetwood Mac -City and Colour -Marcus King -Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real -Leon Bridges -Zach Brown -Tedeschi Trucks Band -Derek Trucks -Stick Figure There’s much more, but I’ve enjoyed these and gone back to others I enjoy in my younger days. 39 for reference. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 05:29 AM |
| 1 | 36M, how is datingGreat attitude! Keep as much focus on that aim as possible. Don’t fight the emotions though. Let them come naturally and process the grief of this awful situation. Therapy will be integral. Lean on whatever support you need. There are plenty of us here in similar circumstances at various stages. You aren’t alone, and that can be oddly reassuring at times. Don’t be a stranger or suffer in silence. Here if you need to vent, celebrate, or ponder. Have a great weekend. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 04:04 PM |
| 3 | 36M, how is datingIt’s a very painful experience. I’m sorry you are going through it. The dating pool is far better than I would have imagined, and the experience is certainly a silver lining in all of this. Definitely work on yourself and prioritize your health and wellbeing. Good men are always sought after, just as good women are. It can be a strange adjustment to being single, but a necessary one. Dating can be an incredible experience, but can also be a distraction or unhealthy coping mechanism. The more aut… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 03:53 PM |
| 6 | 36M, how is datingDating is glorious, at least where I live. I met my ex pretty young and didn’t date much prior. That was obviously a mistake. I’ve met women both online and “in the wild”. Online is pretty generally considered to be a dumpster fire, and that is accurate overall. However, it does provide you with opportunities to meet women you probably wouldn’t otherwise. Additionally, I’ve found the caliber of women I’ve met online to be as good as women I meet through traditional means. There is more time spen… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 03:30 PM |
| 6 | How to get past feeling you wasted your prime attractiveness on your exI think you’re viewing this with a bit of naivety and creating confirmation bias. People used to look at you and you believed they found you attractive when you were younger - you were probably more attuned to those glances, the longer you are in a committed relationship the more you have trained yourself to ignore them. You were probably also in places and an age range with singles more often - there tend to be less single people as we age, but more importantly we congregate in different places… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/24 11:19 AM |
| 3 | If you could say one last thing to your X/STBX and she couldn't respond... What would it be?Absolutely nothing about my perspective, feelings, etc. I don’t think I’d say anything, because even if she couldn’t respond, it would fall on deaf ears. If I knew she would actually hear and reflect on what I said - “Our children deserve better, you owe it to them to do the hard work to be the person they deserve.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/24 12:41 PM |
| 2 | Just a thought… It’s shocking how Promiscuous women become during/after the divorce proceedings… in almost all cases though, I’ve seen it end badly for them. Anyone else notice this pattern?I understand the conclusion you are drawing. I’m not seeing any evidence of divorced women engaging in philandering and alcohol abuse as a means to “celebrate”. It appears this is conjecture. I understand the dissolution. Trust me. Take a look at my post history if necessary. I’m also weary of making blanket statements and inferring it’s based on empirical evidence simply because one person or a select few have mistreated me. I have no doubt many of the women that hurt men her behave this way du… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/24 02:48 PM |
| 4 | Just a thought… It’s shocking how Promiscuous women become during/after the divorce proceedings… in almost all cases though, I’ve seen it end badly for them. Anyone else notice this pattern?70% of divorces are filed by women, SS and CS paid by majority men. Sure. Those are stats. I guess I’m still unclear on how that leads to promiscuity and excessive alcohol consumption by women in an effort to celebrate their newly single status. One could certainly draw a conclusion that the money and freedom encourage this behavior, but that ignores that the money is still generally less, and as a result, standard of living is lower than prior to the separation. There is also the consideration … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/24 09:22 AM |
| 9 | Just a thought… It’s shocking how Promiscuous women become during/after the divorce proceedings… in almost all cases though, I’ve seen it end badly for them. Anyone else notice this pattern?Where are the studies on this? I’m not trying to doubt anyone. I just know it can become a bit of a confirmation bias depending on the perspective. I would challenge the claim that women “celebrate” as it seems in most of my anecdotal experience, people that act this way are often using these behaviors as a coping mechanism to avoid facing their issues. Perhaps this is a rhetorical argument, but I think that is an important distinction. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/24 08:04 AM |
| 1 | How do you guys deal with betrayal trauma? The fact that your stbx is talking bad about you to people behind your back? How can I digest this in a healthy way?She’s a deeply flawed and unhealthy person. It hurts, like salt keeps getting poured into a wound that is so deep it goes to the core of your soul. The disrespect and disregard for all the years of love and support, is astonishing. The cruelty is untenable. No point in stooping to that level. She’s already proven herself to be a bottom feeder. If people believe her vile fictions without hearing your side, they don’t really care much about you either. You jettison a lot of people in the divorce, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/24 02:07 AM |
| 1 | Today would have been 7 yearsSame regarding your final sentence. It’s such a cruel and inhumane thing for someone to know that and intentionally violate. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/24 04:09 PM |
| 8 | The divorce was my fault and I miss her.Show your son how a man owns his actions and shows up every day to be the person his family deserves. You don’t say it, but I’m pretty certain what you are hinting at. If I’m on the right scent, do everything you can to use that as an instructive example and stop generational trauma. He’s significantly more susceptible to landing on one side or another. I wish my ex would have half the clarity you do. You are paying the price, your entire family is. The only way to atone is to resolve to be the … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/24 03:15 PM |
| 5 | Nothing in this life is sacredI absolutely understand how you are feeling. I know you didn’t share much detail, but those of us that relate know. Try not to be too discouraged. The injustice is certainly difficult to accept. Especially as it pertains to the process you went through in family court. The reality of her self worth and happiness is far from what you perceive and the facade she displays to the world. She may be putting her hooks into your children, but just keep being a stellar dad. They will understand in time. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/24 02:02 PM |
| 2 | Ever wish she cheated?I’m not trying to minimize your pain, if that’s how it came across. I’d just add, that the person you described is very indicative of many of the type of wife that cheats. Emotionally immature, incapable of loving another, or themselves. Often a mental health issue. Just add the sting of betrayal, inevitable insecurity, concerns about STDs and paternity…and for the covert ones…the absolutely earth shattering discovery of all of that, at once, as the mask slips. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/24 01:13 AM |
| 9 | Ever wish she cheated?I know this question was addressed to other men, but I can practically assure you there is nothing easier about being betrayed. I was married to a serial cheater that stayed. I’d much rather she have just left. Wasting years of my life on someone so duplicitous is like having your life stolen. There isn’t anymore closure in my case. Just the realization I never knew my wife and she’s and absolutely horrible person. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/24 08:36 PM |
| 2 | How does 50-50 work?Agreed. Also, talk with your attorney | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/24 11:41 AM |
| 12 | Women and reality of life. Are they far fetched?OP- This is both great advice and horrible advice…depending on what you want. If your goal is to simply “be crawling in poon”…by all means leave it at the shirtless photos. You’re going to get what you are putting out there though. Be the best you can. Sure, do the pushups and go for the run, but not for poon. Do it because it makes you happier and healthier. People behave similarly on dating sites as they would on social media. People don’t tend to post the photos of Sunday afternoon monotonous… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/24 03:06 AM |
| 1 | ChildishI’m sure that’s not the narrative she told. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/05/24 09:09 PM |
| 8 | Why do they get so angry and destructive when most of the time they’re the ones leaving?I don’t think there is a good answer to this. Perhaps the best one is that the life and future they knew is gone and they have nobody but themselves to truly blame for that. I imagine that is a living hell, especially if there are children dealing with the fallout. Who wants that kind of weight on them, every day? It’s much easier to convince yourself it was justified and blame the other party, even if you have to create a fictitious narrative. It’s much easier to have a “bad guy” to blame than … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/05/24 08:16 AM |
| 1 | I’m the cheater…my storyFalse | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/24 12:47 AM |
| 1 | I’m the cheater…my storyThank you for this man. I’m so sorry that fatherhood has created such a strain on your happiness. It’s so sad that your wife manipulated you and your affair partner. I hope she respects your need for unethical non monogamy. It seems like you’re on the right path - the reading list you’ve begun should help with sorting out what you deserve regardless of what your wife or kids think. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/24 07:14 PM |
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