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CheeseMonger96 Archive

View 3 posts and 149 comments by CheeseMonger96 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
73

CELEBRATION!!!CheeseMonger96/r/RedPillWives26/09/21 06:30 AM
47

CELEBRATION!!!CheeseMonger96/r/RedPillWives31/03/21 08:55 PM
24

FIELD REPORTCheeseMonger96/r/RedPillWives06/09/21 06:11 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

I am more of a work from home wife so hopefully still useful... as I don't 'have to' dress up for work or go out. Am from England so typically 0-5 degrees or so in winter. Fleece lined leggings and a fitted woollen sweaterdress/wrap dress (one with a waist of a cord to tie so it's not the shape of a potato sack) are very comfortable and feminine. For going outside, a cute hat and scarf can also add a nice touch to your outfit.
/r/RedPillWives24/12/23 06:59 AM
1

In this war on good food, you must be part of the resistance. As long as you and your husband are on the same side, some cheeky compliance to the 'bring whatever you want' instruction may be in order. I would say bring a decent but not offensive amount. Maybe enough so everyone can have a modest portion and not starve. If you bring a full dinner with you, your cover will be blown, and this war may rage on for many more years, so you have to protect your alliance to the secret resistance. Good lu…
/r/RedPillWives24/12/23 06:39 AM
2

I know it's a lot. Just focus on what you think is important, make a list and keep working at it. It will come together.
/r/RedPillWives19/12/23 07:30 AM
2

Congratulations!! I had a similar size wedding and it was lovely. I had time to chat to quite a few people, and it was a lot less craziness that you can get with giant amounts of guests. I hope your day is everything you want it to be. All the best wishes for your new shared lives together.
/r/RedPillWives18/12/23 12:24 PM
1

Your instincts (that guilty feeling) are correct, don't ask for flowers. Importantly, I would also take a man telling you he's spending a lot, but needs to save, as a warning sign that you ask and accept too much of his generosity. You need to recognise he is telling you he has a goal. It's your job to support that goal so quit the spending already and get on board with the plan. If he feels you don't support his goals then what do you think his long term response to that will be?
/r/RedPillWives15/12/23 09:11 PM
1

I completely know the feeling of that clock ticking and it is no joke. But that's why I don't think you can just continue woth no information. I personally think that in big decisions like this you should have a good conversation together about planning your future. I think just keeping your mouth shut and not discussing it was what got you into this in the first place. Don't get me wrong I don't think you should argue or be combative but you should be able to just have a constructive conversati…
/r/RedPillWives13/12/23 03:27 PM
7

You are a worthwhile human being, and even though you do your best to be respectful to your husband, it doesn't mean that him showing you respect isn't part of that deal as well. Husband privileges go to husbands. If he keeps breaking his vows, you are allowed to have feelings about that. It doesn't sound like all hope is lost, but the situation is well beyond anything I can advise on. Just wanted to come here for support more than anything. Hope it works out somehow.
/r/RedPillWives31/03/23 03:46 PM
1

Not always, it is about pleasure though. But this doesn't always need to be sexual.
/r/RedPillWives22/03/23 03:46 PM
3

When it comes to discipline, adults should just be able to communicate their displeasure by voicing it rather than using violence. A man who needs to exert his dominance by violence such as spanking or manhandling is in my eyes not worthy of my time. A lifestyle in which people consent to being beaten or spanked is not a necessary prerequisite for a respectful relationship dynamic. So I have to assume that anyone who agrees to it is either deriving pleasure from it or is not really fully consent…
/r/RedPillWives22/03/23 03:42 PM
1

It's interesting to me that you are mainly commenting back about him but a larger part of my question was what do YOU want. I stand by that. You're a free person, you can do or say what you want. I just can't tell at all what your aims and objectives are out of the action of giving him an ultimatum other than getting him to NOT do something. Yet there is no thought at all about what what you'd actually like him to do instead for YOU. For example, to explain what I mean: I can say: I don't want m…
/r/RedPillWives01/02/23 01:56 PM
1

So you're saying that other than the infidelity you are perfectly happy in your marriage? If that is true than why would you say you are willing to walk away of he deletes a browser history once more? Do you actually mean that? If you don't mean it you shouldn't say it. And he's also perfectly happy in the marriage? Knowing you want to be married and knowing what you want out of your marriage are two different things.
/r/RedPillWives01/02/23 01:23 PM
3

Yikes. Can we rewind a little? I am FOR telling him his behaviour is unacceptable and that if he's not going to be a good husband he doesn't deserve to have you as his wife. But I think it solely focuses on his infidelity. You really want a husband who doesn't cheat but is otherwise not a good husband to you either? I would focus more on what you DO want or need from him. What DO you actually want from this? And what does he want from this marriage? Does he even want to be married? A conversatio…
/r/RedPillWives01/02/23 07:39 AM
5

In some cases there can be recovery after infidelity, HOWEVER I feel like if this is to happen there needs to be a cooperative effort from both partners to make a change and work on the relationship. If too much damage has been done and you're already checked out AND he is not going to change then at some point you have to decide for yourself what you're willing to live with. I wouldn't judge you either way. I have been in relationships where I felt like I would rather be alone for the rest of m…
/r/RedPillWives30/01/23 09:47 PM
2

I second this, I would also add that if you speak while he's away, make sure to show interest and enthusiasm in what he's doing as it will be nice for him to share any excitement with you. When my husband is away he goes to some nice restaurants so I always ask him what he had and he goes into detail on all the meals enthusiastically. It's nice to hear him be happy and having a nice time even nicer for me to know he wants to tell me about it. Yours may have other interests to ask about but doing…
/r/RedPillWives09/08/22 09:23 AM
6

How about just listening to Laura Doyle's podcast occasionally? Just an idea if you want something that you can just sprinkle into your life. Easy to combine with doing chores as well.
/r/RedPillWives26/07/22 09:20 AM
6

I am a senior data manager for an epidemiology department of a good university. I get to manage people, write code and create systems for life saving research projects. The people are nice and we have a good atmosphere in the team. The maternity leave is pretty good, I get 33 holidays a year and I feel appreciated. I am unlikely to leave my job anytime soon.
/r/RedPillWives20/05/22 09:28 PM
2

Congratulations! Just came here to only say that. Wishing you all the health and happiness.
/r/RedPillWives20/05/22 09:22 PM
2

I use the Calm app which has a lot of content. Maybe start by just being comfortable with meditation which just take a few mins practise a day. There is no one size fits all, trial and error for what works best for you is important. You need 1. To do this. It's not about just finding hobbies, it's more subtle than that. What do you like to eat, what makes you feel good in general. Your comment hints that you like feeling successful. What is this that makes you feel successful etc. It's about goi…
/r/RedPillWives17/05/22 08:57 AM
1

I have a suggestion on how to start. 1. Try training yourself in emotional awareness. Guided meditations have helped me with this in the past. This takes practise so don't give up if you can't straight away. 2. Following what feels good is a great way to find enjoyment in your life. Not the short term oh this chocolate tastes good feeling, but more the wholesome, heartwarming, yes this is a bit of me, kind of feeling. Maybe you will like the same things as your friends, maybe you won't. In the l…
/r/RedPillWives17/05/22 08:18 AM
2

He asked me out and I suggested a day/ time to meet and said yes to going out for dinner. He next said. "I have made reservations at the pint shop ( a nice local pub/ restaurant) for 7pm, look forward to it. See you there." I knew he was something special then and I hadn't even met him yet.
/r/RedPillWives03/03/22 06:15 PM
1

Before mobile phones people used to read the back of soap bottles over and over while on the loo. Now it's PPD.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 10:07 PM
0

And then what? What do you think will happen next?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 09:10 AM
2

'Seen'
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 07:37 PM
2

You don't need to be promiscuous to be labelled a slut as a woman. You can be called it for the most random things. Like pissing someone off in traffic, wearing the wrong clothes, smiling at a stranger, walking, saying thanks but no thanks on a dating app or even just going on a date with someone without ever sleeping with anyone in any of these situations. Slut shaming is not reserved for those who actually are promiscuous. It's for hating on women. Anyone who doesn't hate women may disapprove …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 06:36 AM
0

I find it confusing if they can't give a straight answer to a question.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/21 09:47 PM
1

I get what you're saying. I think it matters less what you say to others and more if you'd say it in front of my husband. If you wouldn't then you shouldn't say it to me when he's not around. Does that make sense?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/21 09:15 PM
3

I had this friend even before I met my husband. What was I meant to do just drop him? What a load of rubbish.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/21 09:10 PM
22

The only real difference is that I will never jokingly flirt with a straight male friend. Any straight male friend that flirts with me quite quickly becomes not a friend at all because I am not about that life and it makes me uncomfortable (I find it disrespectful towards my husband and by extension me). This is why I only have one male friend left who is more like extended family to me and I to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/21 11:30 AM
3

One man's wall is another woman's fenced off garden where she can just enjoy life with a great partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 01:33 AM
8

Not a fan, too much hate.
/r/RedPillWives06/12/21 11:58 PM
1

Haha, yeah I am getting as much sleep as possible NOW just to savour it while it lasts :) Thank you for your response it's very nice to hear. I am very glad it went well for you. Fingers crossed I have the same.
/r/RedPillWives30/11/21 07:32 PM
1

Good luck, hope you can kiss and make up soon.
/r/RedPillWives19/11/21 06:05 PM
3

I really like this answer. As someone who has cohabited quite a bit before marriage I agree that the rules have to be established and often this happens by default whether you like it or not. People just do what comes natural to them and you find out by trial and error whether it works. A better way to go about it is to actually frame your expectations somewhat. The way Laura Doyle would say it is that it is the woman's job to express her desires, lovingly and without expectation. But if you hav…
/r/RedPillWives19/11/21 05:23 PM
7

I have more questions that answers but maybe it will help you anyway by reflection. You say you're not fussed about presents but here you are... fussed about presents. So which is it do you want him to buy you presents or not? You're not going to be able to communicate your desires if you don't know what it is that you want. I would probably also be annoyed if my husband said he was going to do something but then didn't, but that is just because I feel like he shouldn't have said it if they didn…
/r/RedPillWives19/11/21 05:16 PM
1

Thanks yes I think I will do ( try to get some basic tests) that and the prenatal vitamins are a good shout I will stock up on some of those. We're already in a habit of taking daily vitamins (my husband gets them out every evening and then makes us 'clink' them together as you would a wineglass... it's one of our quirky weird things) we'll just need to swap mine out for a slightly different one that contains all the good baby stuff. Thanks ladies for the advice and support. Love love love ❤
/r/RedPillWives18/11/21 04:47 PM
1

Yeah I agree and actually have already been on the case for years staying in shape and keeping fit. So I am hoping that that will prove to have been useful.
/r/RedPillWives18/11/21 04:43 PM
1

I recently started using a clever fox diary where I set out precise goals and have to tick them off every weekday. Like drink 2L of water, eat lunch, gym, shower etc. It's small but it helps me feel like I am accountable to myself. Do you think something like that would help?
/r/RedPillWives18/11/21 06:14 AM
4

It's my birthday, I am 36 now. I have a PhD, a wonderful husband, I just got a whopper of a promotion and I am interviewing new staff today to work under me... BUT what I want more than anything at this point is a baby. My husband knows and says he's ready to start trying after Christmas so that is something. But I am terrified that we are too late. I have never had this opportunity before so it's not like I could have chosen to have kids sooner unless I did it by myself unmarried, but still I f…
/r/RedPillWives18/11/21 06:09 AM
5

Women aren't really all that bothered.. it's men who are 20 who are annoyed that hot 20 year old women are going for older more established men.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/21 09:26 PM
1

He's calm and strong (mentally and physically), he's well educated and has a decent job and has natural leadership qualities. He's responsible, self-motivated, family oriented etc etc. He's also pretty handsome IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/21 07:21 PM
5

I met a high value man, we're married now.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 09:56 PM
5

A high value man doesn't need 'the red pill' to tell him what to do and is therefore not a 'red pilled man'.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 07:55 PM
6

We're missing context, 'dating' can mean a lot of things depending on where you're from. Were you really friends or in a relationship? Or was she was just someone you sleep with and show up to when it suits you. How many times had you seen her in those 2 months? Had you ever really talked and gotten to know each other at all? Or was it still very superficial?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 09:48 AM
2

No need to play games if you don't date players.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/21 10:14 PM
2

If his gf has had one ex with a bigger dick why would that be relationship ending? There are some common misconceptions about women's anatomy and how sex works for women that intersect with the possible answers.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 07:35 AM
11

Dick size of exes is 'relationship ending'? Eh? Sounds like something that belongs in r/badwomensanatomy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 06:24 AM
2

I agree, commitment and communication make a strong foundation. However intimacy is also very important. Not all intimacy has to be sexual though (although it's nice if some of it IS of course).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/21 10:34 PM
3

No, next question.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/21 05:35 PM
1

How do you think this is going to work in the first 6 months of the child's life? This is a bad plan.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/21 09:07 PM
1

I blame the imperial system.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/21 09:22 AM
1

Making something taboo or forbidding it rarely helps against it. It's better if it is out in the open and people can be honest about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/21 07:07 PM
1

Finger in the coffee because she is so sweet blah blah. it baffles me that you can't see the innuendo... you sweet sweet summer child.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/21 05:45 PM
2

Because by nature if you are a customer/client/patient etc there is a power imbalance that makes it creepy really fast if they are not into you. It's a mild equivalent of your boss hitting on you/ flirting with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 09:25 PM
2

So you're saying older men don't hit on younger women? That is news to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 06:44 PM
5

Do. Not. Hit. On. People. At. Their. Work.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 06:41 PM
2

Here is the thing, compliments as a part of a flowing conversation, yes all fine. Compliments as a conversation starter from a stranger, awkward. Also, Do. NOT. Hit. On. Women. While. They. Are. Working. She has to be nice to you and do her job, it can be very uncomfortable because she can't get away. Plus it can be intimidating because he knows where you work so you feel like you have to be really careful not to pass anyone off. You could try to strike up a conversation but don't lay it on thic…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/21 07:04 AM
2

Neither do men, the difference is that it doesn't stop us from doing what we want. If anything 'the wall' is more of a hazard for men who like younger women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 05:30 PM
5

It is your interpretation because you are ascribing behaviours to motives you can't possibly know. It's quite a stretch away from an observation.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 05:06 PM
9

How many women do you actually know that are like that? I feel sad for you that this is your outlook on half of the population.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 04:55 PM
4

That is your interpretation of 'you'. But that is not how OP describes it. He wants opinions different from his own. Which implies that he wants people's personal viewpoints.... if not, big deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 04:27 PM
5

I was asked what a RP man gets wrong about ME. Which is what I answered. In my world, the wall is a myth.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 03:58 PM
4

Agree to disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 02:52 PM
2

Hmm... okay maybe you have a point there... I live in an academic bubble where everybody is insanely well educated and sporty. I will concede that my life is not representative.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 08:29 AM
6

One persons settling is another persons ecstatically happy experience of finally being with someone they're well suited to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 08:17 AM
22

No, you're missing the point, women don't want the same men in our 20s as we do in our 30s. So from our perspective it's completely irrelevant and a bit laughable. The truth is, we have some relationships in our 20s and mess about a little, we get our heart broken, we experience life and get an education and make sure we're stable ourselves, we learn not to be needy and we grow out of childish drama-mongering.... and then we find an amazing guy who loves life as much as we do and we start a fami…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 07:47 AM
4

Actually.... you may want to re-read that bearing in mind that they filter out happy LTRs that don't result in marriage. Those stats are specifically about marriages. So for instance where they look at marriages where people lived together vs marriages where people didn't live together, they are excluding any relationships where people lived together and are still happily cohabiting. So it's not really a study into relationships, it's a study where marriage is the starting point and then it look…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 07:01 AM
58

Many of us, most of the women I know in fact, are actually still pretty successful at getting men to settle down with after 30. The wall is a myth.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 09:57 PM
2

Congratulations! Yes me too! I hope you are feeling just as blissful! Am on my honeymoon now, my husband booked the most gorgeous little cottage with a fireplace in a national park. We just arrived today and I cooked us a really nice dinner and we had some of our left over weddingcake (chocolate and raspberry... for those who care about the details... ). Life is just really beautiful right now. Lots of love to you! !
/r/RedPillWives28/09/21 09:24 PM
1

Nobody mourns the loss of female beauty more than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/21 09:44 PM
1

Have you tried Laura Doyle's trick of saying "It's not like you to be controlled by cigarettes". "It's not like you to [fill in blank]"? Always wondered if this would work but never personally had an opportunity yet. The idea being that you enforce a positive image for someone and if they want to live up to it, they get on with it. It's nag free and more supportive and kind.
/r/RedPillWives13/09/21 10:14 PM
1

A game is completely different to a cellphone. CoD is not a pay as you go item, there is no ongoing cost, so your comparison makes no sense. But while we are at it, yes a mum should set rules and boundaries around cellphone usage within a home as well so if he gives his kid a cellphone he should expect the kid not te be allowed on it all of the time to protect the child from overstimulation, distraction from homework etc. A stable living environment with consistent rules and stability is much mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 11:46 AM
7

He is a piece of work who lashed out in the meanest way because he couldn't play COD, what a child. Not to mention he calls her 'semen incubator'. That is not how a confident, successful male behaves. And she, whatever her background, is right. Children do have to learn to share and you don't learn if there are no consequences.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 06:47 AM
1

Most people want to feel wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 10:00 PM
1

That is amazing they sound like cool people.
/r/RedPillWives06/09/21 10:48 AM
4

Thank you! My fiancee has picked a slow waltz and with one day of practise he's already so good at leading me so I really think it's going to be fab. And honestly I am so excited, I would have agreed to a funky chicken dance if he said that's what he wanted.
/r/RedPillWives06/09/21 08:21 AM
2

Congratulations! I am joining your club in less than 4 weeks now! So exciting!
/r/RedPillWives03/09/21 09:01 PM
1

Work smart, study hard and find so thing you're good at or passionate about. Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. Steer clear from people who play games. If they aren't keen, move on. Make sure you look after yourself and present yourself well, be aware that what you show outwards should reflect what you aspire to be. Not everybody will like you but that is ok. Just prioritise the ones that do.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 09:47 PM
5

I am very respectful to men IRL or at least do my best to be. But some men on here, especially RP ones, feel that I have to 'submit' to them. And personally, I feel like I am equal (not the same, just equal in 'value' that I bring to society) to most men, but I submit to my fiancee because I feel happy and settled that way and want him to feel happy and settled too. Does anyone else on here feel the same or am I making distinctions you feel shouldn't be there?
/r/RedPillWives23/07/21 07:38 AM
1

She's very well thank you. I have a post about her in a guineapig reddit if you want to see her. She's grown a lot since then. Very cute little fluffy white one.
/r/RedPillWives13/07/21 09:44 AM
1

Don't let your mind play tricks on you. If he seems happy, then assume he is happy. You have to trust that he will tell you if he feels smothered.
/r/RedPillWives13/07/21 07:29 AM
2

Last year, I bought a new guineapig from a lady during the end of the first lockdown last year and she seemed really cool so I just said 'hey this may seem weird but you seem really cool and I was wondering whether you'd fancy meeting up sometime for a friend-date?'. And she was so happy and now we've been friends for a little while. Did it feel awkward? Yes. But that is okay. Embrace it. Awkwardness is a signal that you are out of your comfort zone, it's a good sign.
/r/RedPillWives11/07/21 08:32 PM
0

Making yourself look as nice as you can for a date is expected and normal to the point where I would consider it impolite if anyone (man or woman) didn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 08:09 AM
1

I was only talking about one example of proof that 'women compete'. I have done loads to better myself on a deeper level, but that wasn't to compete for affection, in fact I had to leave a relationship to move abroad for some of it. What have I done personally? Get a PhD, work on my carreer, invest in learning skills like listening, overcoming fears, travelling, working hard at a sport, volunteering in my community, self help in letting go and being calm etc.; but none of that was to compete for…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 07:39 AM
6

I think the multibillions worth plastic surgery, fashion and cosmetics industries, which are largely aimed at women, disagree with you that women are not competing for male attention. We compete all the time, most of us are just very good at making it look like we aren't. Does it make us 'better people'? I doubt it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 10:30 PM
1

Yep very sad for you. So what are you going to do about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 07:45 AM
-1

Weird therapy session, sounds like she needs some therapy of her own. Maybe she should pay you for the next session...
/r/RedPillWives14/06/21 09:34 PM
3

I know what they mean. My ex was like this. In my previous relationship I had to support him financially, support him emotionally, pick up after him, do all the cleaning and do most of the cooking and if I asked if he could help out a bit more he would sigh and complain (much like you'd expect a teenager to). Honestly, I loved him, but couldn't imagine having kids with him because it was already exhausting. The 'mind reading' you're talking about is nonsense and comes from the perception that th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 03:59 PM
6

Our routine starts before bed. Final dishwasher load and turn it on, put a wash in the washing machine on delay to be done when I get up. Next morning, hang wash, unload dishwasher while making coffee. Generally I tidy up and clean up after myself as I go and my partner does the same. On the weekend we do all of the bigger jobs and we pretty much split it down the middle. We split the housework, but I do the 'homemaking'.
/r/RedPillWives07/06/21 07:37 PM
8

I think it was unkind of your husband to tell you this. Unless he was suggesting a solution that he could help with he should have kept his big mouth shut. I am sure there are things about him that you are less than excited by, but you don't go around telling him those things specifically. You have to wonder WHY he said it, what was the endgame here?
/r/RedPillWives06/06/21 08:54 AM
1

Now that sounds like something I can do. Thank you, I am going to get on this. It's also right up my street... who doesn't love a good list to work off. Thank you. 😊
/r/RedPillWives18/05/21 02:05 PM
4

35F in LTR with 33M (4.5 yrs together), engaged to be married in Sept, hard working, academic Physical & Health: I am still a little fatter than I'd like to be (Not obese or very overweight, just a bit chubby). Although I haven't gained much weight over a year of lockdowns, I am just out of shape. We've picked out new gyms that are on the same route so we can go together but train seperately and are building up our gym days again. This week we are doing 3 gym session a week (have been doing 2 fo…
/r/RedPillWives18/05/21 01:11 PM
1

It's as if nobody here has ever heard of non-verbal communication.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/21 09:22 PM
5

The legal part of a marriage is like having insurance. You hope you'll never need it, but you'll feel silly if things go wrong and you don't have it. If you don't have the legal protection there are ways to manage the risk, but none of those can be classed as red pill. Does he have any suggestions for how to keep you safe in case something happens to him?
/r/RedPillWives09/05/21 07:20 AM
1

I wouldn't say a business transaction. More based on an informal agreement that you revise every few years. Relationships are not unconditional, and they shouldn't be.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 08:57 AM
-1

Toxic masculinity is about the (toxic) effects of imposing such traits on people even though it's not always natural (telling boys it to cry, calling men gay if they talk about their feelings etc) such as higher suicide rates, violence, criminal behaviour, inability to process feelings or the effect I see in my dad, not going to the doctor even though something is wrong because he feels he should 'tough it out'.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 07:03 AM
1

I can't speak for all women but I have been clear which one I pick and I don't blame all men, just the ones that do bad stuff. I could say the same for you either it's okay for women to fear men because of what was done to them by a few, or you can't claim it's okay for men to fear the actions of all women because of what was done to them by a few women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 07:03 AM
1

Sure, no doubt. But checking your bias is important in relationships. If you are closed minded and assume the worst about your partner, that will leave you bitter and alone. (Eg. Women with trust issues checking their partners phones, men being anxious and controlling if their partner goes out with friends etc.) It's toxic. If you want to be alone, then fine, if you want relationships/friendships that is no way to treat your fellow humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 07:02 AM
9

It's illogical. Not trusting someone for something they might do in the future with no evidence that they will just shows a level of anxiety that is 100% a you problem. That is like saying I am going to put you in prison because your demographic is likely to commit violent acts so it's your own fault I am doing this but we just don't trust you. It makes no sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 04:32 PM
4

Express your desires and be pleasable are the two I always chant to myself that I learned from Laura Doyle. She has some great online content that is easy to google if you don't want to wait until you've had time to read her books.
/r/RedPillWives04/05/21 04:16 PM
15

"I am not committing to her because one day she won't be as committed anymore. So it's her fault that I won't commit" Some serious mental gymnastics going on there.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 03:55 PM
1

I think it's OK to analyse this, as you say it's fascinating, BUT we mustn't make the mistake of extrapolating it to all male-female interactions or even the entirety of a relationship. As with everything, validity of theories are often highly conditional. I just take from it what is useful to me and leave the rest.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 02:46 PM
4

I once tried to date a man who was a tradesguy, painted houses etc. It ended because we just really didn't understand each other. Sometimes we misinterpreted each others behaviour, sometimes it would be more literal. He would have to explain every other sentence because I didn't understand his slang at all. We split amicably (I think) after 6-8 weeks or so, it just didn't work. It's not always about 'standards' or attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/21 08:44 AM
10

Thanks for asking! My week has been OK. Work was stressful but my homelife is bliss which balances it all out. Fiancee is fantastic and we're steadily getting stuff sorted out for our wedding which we have set a date for in Sept. I am growing vegetables in the garden which didn’t die despite the frost we've had and just generally we have been relatively lucky given the state of the world. We've been encouraging each other to do exercise. Less good was that my fiancee stated that he needed me to …
/r/RedPillWives16/04/21 06:22 PM
1

Mid 30s. Based on the information given, Guy A. I can't depend on guy B, because the way you phrased it he's not going to want to be an active part of a family and that is 100% a deal breaker. I don't think guy B wants a teammate, he wants an admirer who will follow him around, sounds like a boring life to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 01:43 PM
1

I am talking about dynamics of LTR's and what men 'value' which goes beyond SMV. Anyway, I think we've taken this as far as there was to go. Have a nice day friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 03:59 PM
1

Exactly, if we go back to OP' actual questions (what motivates men to say... etc.) The answer is that when men say they do not value a woman's intelligence/carreer/success/money, it's because they are discussing SMV, which is a very limited concept as there is so much more to both life and relationships. Debates about SMV are often unnecessarily inflammatory and cause for disagreement where there is none.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 03:38 PM
1

Yeah agreed, I just think people define 'value' too narrowly here.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 07:30 AM
2

The issue is that on this forum, the word value is used as if it just means one thing : an effect on initial attraction. The truth is that if people are choosing something, it has utility to them, and therefore, value. What the post shows is actually that women, like men, want to be valued for every aspect that they bring into a relationship. However, people will be happier when they realise that attracting a mate and being in a relationship are two seperate stages that require different things.…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 07:09 AM
3

If women didn't make men's lives better in relationships, men wouldn't choose to be in those relationships. (Not for long at least)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 06:52 AM
1

That's what I said too.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 08:22 PM
34

I just asked my partner of 4 years. He said that even though my job and finances were not what attracted him to me, he couldn't be in a LTR with someone if they were financially unstable or irresponsible.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 05:26 PM
2

Laura Doyle would say there is no greater aphrodisiac than respect. Don't try to fix him, instead focus your attention on learning not to take it personally and focusing on what he does do and the sex you do have. You wrote you feel rejected even though you objectively know he just has a lower libido than you. If you can get past the emotions of it, you can just take care of yourself when he's not in the mood.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/21 03:25 PM
1

I reckon catfishing is definitely new. That is one I wasn't ready for when I did OLD. Minor case of it happened to me and it blew my mind and made me very paranoid. Lucky for me, I had a policy of meeting people in person (in a neutral place) very early on and not waiting weeks or months. Not sure this could have happened without OLD.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 01:45 PM
7

A man can easily learn 'the right answers'. What is harder to fake is consistency in behaviour. I pay a lot of attention to how people are around their friends and family and whether that all seems consistently like he is 'one person' regardless of circumstance. It's important to not make up extra stories to explain erratic behaviour in early stages, just believe him when he shows you who he really is. By his actions, not words.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/21 01:12 PM
6

Thank you so much! I am thinking of writing some of my own vows and promising to keep doing all the stuff he loves as long as he'll let me. I never break a promise.
/r/RedPillWives31/03/21 09:47 PM
1

That is fair. I suppose the not cold and distant women are off tinder after a few months.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/21 09:34 PM
1

Is it? I met my partner on tinder.... but that was 5 years ago, is it different now? Men I met IRL was more awkward because if it doesn’t work out they are at your sportsclub/work etc. If an online match doesn't work out you don't have to see each other anymore, I think that is way more healthy. Dunno... worked for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/21 04:22 PM
1

R/redpillwives is not moderated by men and may answer some of your questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 09:01 AM
22

He's meant to be looking after your safety and security. That is his no. 1 job. You didn't have to text him back while driving at all yet you did it anyway for him. If he has no concern for your safety, submission becomes a dangerous affair.
/r/RedPillWives27/03/21 08:09 AM
1

--Do you think your male friends want to have sex with you? Why/why not? Why do you think the way you do on this question? No, when I think this about a male friend it makes me uncomfortable and it would end the friendship. --have you ever had sex with a male friend? How did that end up? (I'm asking here about men you are already friends with who you have sex with; not men you had sex with and then become friends.) Maybe once, he wasn't a close friend though and ultimately we had to stop being f…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 10:46 PM
2

--Do you want male friends? Do you specifically want some of your friends to be men? Yes it's nice to have friends of different genders and backgrounds. --If so, why? If not, why not? Because people with a different lived experience offer a variety of perspectives. Keeps things interesting. --Do you seek (or have you ever sought) male friends? Or do they seek you out? No, not specifically. I just meet people in various places some male and some female and sometimes a friendship follows from that…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 05:00 PM
1

What a load of rubbish. Ofcourse you can find people who want to date on there. Just see it as a way to potentially meet people you would otherwise not have run into. All the normal dating rules still apply.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/21 05:55 PM
4

Don't get me wrong, I agree and would find it annoying too. But if you've already told him as much, I'm not sure what else you can do. He's an oversharer and an unsolicited advice giver. And it sounds like it's very much a part of his personality. To explain where I am coming from: Trying to change your partner is not really conducive to a peaceful home in my opinion. I wrecked two previous relationships trying to do just that. Now I accept my partner as he is and feel much happier. That's not t…
/r/RedPillWives06/03/21 08:10 AM
-3

Devils advocate, he has a point. Maybe you shouldn't care so much what other people think...? You married the man. If he is doing stuff you don't like, sometimes you have to just live with it. I am assuming that he is doing this because he is trying to help people in his own way, potentially that could make it forgivable? I would advise you to try and see his intentions and not just the slightly awkward outcomes.
/r/RedPillWives06/03/21 12:03 AM
1

Why you need to be seen as a 'sweet husband'? Is that important to you? Maybe if you want her to show gratitude, you should be a leader and show her how it's done (show gratitude yourself) and ask her to do the same after you have lead by example?
/r/RedPillWives05/03/21 04:07 PM
4

My fiancee is an amazing man and i respect him a lot. He is strong and secure and knows I love him and support him. As a result, he can take a joke. Taking yourself too seriously is for insecure people and has no place in our household.
/r/RedPillWives05/03/21 12:11 PM
5

It sounds like you are holding on really tightly to the annoying but ultimately small and irrelevant stuff. To help let go of this me and my fiancee do a weird thing that may or may not be your jam. I will try to explain. We occasionally discuss grievances in a jokey way. We call it our 'beef of the week' segment and it's become a bit of a running joke. It allows us to air small annoyances and have a rant without it actually being serious. Often it can end up being really funny. It's hard to exp…
/r/RedPillWives24/02/21 04:52 PM
0

If there is a market for it, people will sell it. What's your point? Men also choose to sell their minds and bodies for cash. Take the military as an example, people will literally give up their autonomy and risk their lives for whatever whim their government wants to use them for. Honestly, sex work makes more sense to me than that. That being said... the deskjob life chose me so... I have no horse in this race.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 04:09 PM
2

Sticking with the theme of gross generalisations: You have two children. You raise one by saying hey... kids will be kids... its OK to get into trouble. You'll be alright. No need to cry, or show emotion just get on with it. To the other child you say: be careful you'll never be seen as equal, you have to prove yourself and be 'good', don't slip up because that will be it for you, cry as much as you want you don't have to be strong. One kid will be depressed, the other will have anxiety. However…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 02:28 PM
13

Oh yeah, I agree, i was just kidding. Although agreeing that people often advertise they are looking for a 'health conscious' person which is code for 'slim'.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 05:03 PM
71

This is very true, I do wonder how people with height preference get away with this "looking for man who regularly reaches things on high shelves"... "looking for woman who is often not allowed on park rides"...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 04:48 PM
0

While I was still dating I only dated athletes, but would never have said that out loud. I did a lot of sport myself and wanted someone who got the lifestyle. The man I ended up with wasn't as athletic as the few men I went out with before him but I fell in love and that was that. I think it's tacky to state your whole checklist out loud or in a dating profile, it makes other people feel inadequate, while they are probably just fine, just not for you. If I had done that, I would have scared off …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 04:43 PM
1

That is really lovely to hear! Am so glad it all worked out for you too! Sounds like we are two lucky ladies. Thanks for telling me, that just gave me the biggest smile.
/r/RedPillWives14/02/21 09:51 PM
0

I hear you sister! This was me this morning too! I don't know what your man is like, but if I was upset all day and my fiancee would only find out after, he'd be upset by that as I wouldn't have given him a chance to make it better. This morning I reminded myself he did not do (or not do) this to upset me. Took a deep breath and just told him that actually I'd like to celebrate valentines day. By the end of the day he had written me a lovely letter with some homemade vouchers for a neckrub, foot…
/r/RedPillWives14/02/21 09:24 PM
0

Yes, in the same way that you can equate mild softdrug use with someone who injects heroin. One is clearly way more salient than the other. One is also associated with exploitation of young people and the other is not. Guess which one is which.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 04:40 PM
1

My partner and I have lived together for 3-4 years now and are getting married soon. We keep money from being a problem by using splitwise to track spending and keep a tally. If your relationship is otherwise in decent shape maybe a new system for keeping track of money would work, but it has to be something that you're both happy with. Making accusations at each other is not going to make things better. He may be worried about his financial situation or want to save for the future for instance …
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/21 05:56 PM
1

The interest of a few women in serial killers is no more a reflection on women's psychology in general as the interest of men who like to eat women's poo for sexual gratification is a reflection on men's.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 12:07 AM
0

At the time I started dating my now Fiancee I wasn't sure I was ready for something serious (I said this but I also meant it). What I found was that actually it worked in my favour to some extent because at least it didn't stimulate guys to lie about their intentions. Instead, some guys said 'great!' And others including my partner said 'well okay but lets see...' So at least when I started falling for my guy I knew he was maybe interested in something serious and it was easy to change my status…
/r/RedPillWives21/01/21 10:56 AM
1

Those are restrictive preferences. When I grew up my mother loved cooking and her dinner time slogan was 'you don't have to like it, you just have to eat it' not in a mean way, just as a matter of fact. It would not even have occurred to my mum to cook based on people's preferences. We got to veto 1 food, that we would never had to eat. If we really didn't like something we had to eat at least 3 big spoonfuls and then we could leave the rest. Her rules were a win-win situation, I got to develop …
/r/RedPillWives12/01/21 05:22 PM
2

Managing the birthday and event calendar is a good family support skill. This year I reorganised our christmas list and got printable sticker labels and sorted out all the addresses for our christmas cards I also make sure I know who's birthdays are coming up so I know who needs to have a card sent and if we only have a week left to buy a present for someone etc. I just use Google calendar with recurring annual dates in there for birthdays. I have been building that up for years and just keep ad…
/r/RedPillWives12/01/21 04:57 PM
3

I was looking for this list of restrictions here are some ideas in case any of this turns out useful at all (just some ideas of easy tasty dishes and tips for time saving) oven dishes: (advantage: after the prep, while it cooks you can clear up the kitchen); - Layered minced meat, leeks, and potatoes, covered in eggy mix with some mild curry powder mixed in salt (put pepper on the table to add to taste. (This takes 20 mins to prepare and then when it is in the oven you an wipe everything down); …
/r/RedPillWives08/01/21 10:10 PM
3

I sometimes go for what I call 'an angry stomp'. This basically means that I go for an angry run, I think the exercise helps me calm down and just spending some time thinking about the issue and reflecting on it can help me process things or simply plan my next move. I am not a very angry person though, I mostly internalise things into anxiety instead. And for that just meditating once a day for 10 mins, keeping structure in my life and eating healthy food are the best. I think it really benefit…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/20 09:50 AM
4

You do you. I just hope that you can let go of that anger. I grew up with angry men around me and I learned that anger that isn't turned into something constructive, becomes destructive. Ofcourse I don't know you, maybe this won't be true for you. I wish you all the best.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/20 09:19 AM
4

Being angry is kind of the opposite of 'not caring' though. I wonder whether it would be more beneficial to take the lead to speak in person instead, potentially on your terms as she is the one who wants to break up so she should make the effort to come and see you. Cutting off all contact is not going to resolve your anger, taking charge of the situation might. I agree you shouldn't lower yourself to a text conversation, that is pathetic and disrespectful.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/20 08:49 AM
34

Breakup text?! In a LTR? No wonder you're angry.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/20 08:28 AM
1

Yes I was scared and yes I felt like it could be 'just me' forever. For me though, comparing before and after, I found out that living in peace on my own (being pretty happy about the progress I was making) was better than living in a chronically unhappy relationship (I tried for years). I think the hardest part was that he really was not a bad person and I felt like a faillure for not having been able to make him happy and not being able to make it work. I am unsure whether it was courage, or s…
/r/RedPillWives03/11/20 11:26 AM
4

34, F, yes absolutely on all fronts. Dating, relationships and sex all got better with age. I put it down to being more confident, giving less fucks about unimportant things and having my shit together. I find it refreshing to see similar comments from people in their 40s that is really nice to read.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/20 01:12 PM
1

Thank you so much. I am turning 35 this November. I met my partner through online dating. I know that is not everyone's cup of tea but it works well in the modern age if approached properly. I can't judge what your relationship is like, and would never advise anyone to leave their partner with so little knowledge. However, I can tell you that when I made that choice for myself, I took it as an opportunity to work on myself. (I Marie kondo'd my house, I expanded my work as a rowing coach as a sid…
/r/RedPillWives02/11/20 11:35 AM
1

I know it feels daunting to become single at 31, I had to do the same 4 years ago because my partner wasn't treating me well and wouldn't talk about marriage after being together for 4 years. Now I am 3,5 years on in my current relationship and I just got engaged to a wonderful man whom I love dearly. Everyone is different so you need to decide what is best for you, but just be aware that sometimes you have to be willing to take a risk to move forward and get to where you want to be.
/r/RedPillWives02/11/20 08:14 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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