| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 29 | Healthy Healing: Realizations post-separation without regret | ChillaxBrosef | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/22 06:09 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| -1 | Should I block her number after all this is done?Blocking is childish and stupid. Information is key, just let her let loose and ignore it. Also good evidence for court | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/25 07:39 PM |
| 2 | What’s your thoughts from the start?Wow. I mean wow. Siiiggghhh OP you’re a good man. I don’t have any advice for you outside of saying you’re a good man. Take solace in that. With judgement and caring like yours, you’ll make the right choice. Good luck stranger, I really appreciate you sharing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/25 01:42 AM |
| 7 | How do you reconcile the lying?You can’t. Gotta let go and call it a day. There’s always gonna be that thought in the back of your head that wonders….Liars are and always be Liars. Sucks, but true. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/24 12:13 AM |
| 3 | Red flagsMmmmmhm. This. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/24 01:45 PM |
| 3 | I’ve finally told her it’s overYou did the right thing, stay firm and resolute. If she had an emotional affair (and assume other things) she wasn’t happy either. You’re doing the hard, strong, and right thing for both. Godspeed stranger. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/24 02:23 AM |
| 6 | Sister GoddessesIt’s the latest “YAS GIRL” phase of women who have or feel they have been repressed and are angry at men. Some have very legitimate reasons, some are complete excuses to cover for their bad choices in relationships. Divorces are hard for both, regardless of person who initiates. Like anything else this can be used for good, or for evil. I do raise an eyebrow when a group directly or indirectly blames a certain group for their plights. Perhaps one day we will look at each other as equals, but wit… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/24 07:34 PM |
| 1 | Weight loss while divorcingCan happen for sure. Immense stress and life adjustment. Make sure to get at least smoothies down for a few months and it will come back, just temporary. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/24 08:07 PM |
| 1 | How do you cope with the lack of affection?I put her on sex ice for two months. Was it mature and the right move? Debatable. I waited until she would actually say something and it took THAT LONG. Revealed much in our relationship. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/24 12:38 AM |
| 0 | How do you cope with the lack of affection?Nah she was and is. Just didn’t have the learning and tools to learn about herself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/24 11:28 PM |
| 3 | How do you cope with the lack of affection?Dayum this hits. I left and it’s completely true. Opportunity is everywhere, just gotta look in the right direction. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/24 06:59 PM |
| 2 | How do you cope with the lack of affection?Sorry bruh, I hear and feel you. Gonna be okay. DM me if you need. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/24 06:55 PM |
| 2 | How do you cope with the lack of affection?How are you doing? DM me if needed | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/24 06:53 PM |
| 5 | How do you cope with the lack of affection?Really good. Knowing it was the right move and being confident knowing we both would be more successful and happy moving on made it easier going forward. Being non-contentious was a big key here. We both have new lives and stay in loose contact, caring for each other and helping in any way we can. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/24 06:51 PM |
| 5 | How do you cope with the lack of affection?I dealt with exactly this with my ex wife. Our love languages didn’t match, she was “acts of service”, I was “touch and affection “. She had some unresolved issues and didn’t like to be touched. I handled it badly by drinking to dull the pain. She was a great person that’s why it was so hard to detach, but it wasn’t ever gonna change. We departed amicably and it was the correct move for both. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/24 06:01 PM |
| 6 | I'm not sure what to do right nowMoney is a tool nothing more. $20k is small potatoes for getting someone like this out of your life. I would pay more, way more. Put the pride in the box, give her $20k and move on. Frankly sounds like a great deal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/24 07:21 PM |
| 3 | I'm dumb...Because you had hope, and love. Happens. Love is tricky. Now you know the path forward, as painful as that may be. But it’s the direction now, just try your stay amicable and get it done as quickly and frictionless as possible | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/24 07:17 PM |
| 4 | Should divorce Spouse but I don't have the balls to do itPhysical violence in a relationship? Hard nope bro. In fact the more she does it the less she respects you. Set a hard boundary or get a restraining order so she can take her crazy not near you. Now I will say- if you’re chatting with women on messenger (regardless of platonic nature) you need to be radically transparent because it’s not a good look. Doesn’t absolve her abhorrent behavior but yeah need to be like “hey talking to Tracy!” Because people need to know what’s going on | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/24 04:56 PM |
| 9 | Wife and lover not working outRun don’t walk | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/24 09:03 PM |
| 2 | I don’t know how to be a single adultOkay here’s what ya do: 1) Routine. Very important - schedule your work day, your meals, your house chores, shopping - all the stuff to keep you alive - get in a groove. Whatever that looks like for you and when that gets done just stick to it. It will become natural sooner than later. 2) In that routine carve out time to meet with new people, reach out to new friends, be with family, be purposeful in make schedules to socialize. This is crucial to the new chapter in your life. Make it a priorit… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/24 03:37 PM |
| 5 | My divorce and whats happeningYeah this is full on daddy issue insecurity using-sex-as-a-dopamine hit because I’m depressed situation there is. Yikes. Run, don’t walk. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/01/24 07:46 PM |
| 3 | Codependency..Boy she sounds like a hoot. Might be a semi-favor to you she divorced you! Not making light of it, that’s sucks dude, I get it. But that’s abhorrent behavior on her part. Sorry man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 10:23 PM |
| 3 | Codependency..First step is finding and accepting the things you can’t change as who you are as a person. Then, discovering the things you can change to be the best version of yourself. After you accomplish those things, there’s a good chance that co-dependency won’t be an issue, as you are a strong person within yourself. Great post, admire your transparency and honesty. You’ve went through a lot, and are processing and that’s natural and okay. Good luck OP | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 06:31 PM |
| 5 | Has anyone divorced due to lack of intimacy or sexual attraction?Yes, completely. Married a lovely and very talented person, but lack of intimacy and touch I just couldn’t take. Never thought I would be divorced but it had to happen as our fundamental needs weren’t changing and we weren’t meeting them- both sides. It was the right move for both for me to initiate, and both are happier on their paths, no regret at all. I still hold guilt for many things, including not recognizing sooner. That’s how life goes I guess, but good things in the end. Cheating is nev… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/24 03:40 PM |
| 2 | 9 months in, women are beggining to show interest in me. How to behave?Good for you. I recently divorced in almost the same timeframe and am noticing the EXACT same thing. Take the time to understand what you need/want in a partner, and the world is your oyster. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/23 02:48 PM |
| 1 | **Do I inform my ex spouse that I’m bringing my new GF to meet our son ?**Yeah, probably not great short term but best long term. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/23 03:30 PM |
| 1 | Life after divorceYou're in the VIP line, fast-tracked to so many available partners out there. Gotta decide if you want the kids-in-tow situation though. Not for everyone. Outside of that no worries you will have to beat them off with a stick. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/23 07:43 PM |
| 1 | Any success stories after divorce?YES YES YES. If you have a personal growth mindset: acknowledge your role in the separation, learn and grow from the lessons, be present with and forgive yourself and your former partner - theres a whole new world out there to discover. Best thing ive ever done, my life (and hopefully my ex-wifes life) is better making the decision to separate. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/23 07:05 PM |
| 2 | Basic adviceOooof. I mean she probably knows its coming. I would work out beforehand as much as you can and find a paralegal service to do all the paperwork in your area. Clearly, theres likely some emotions to work out here first. Advice: try to stay level headed and keep emotions as far away from the process as possible. Sympathies man....gonna get better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/22 11:55 PM |
| 4 | Starting the divorce journey.She likely has known and kept from you for a while. Sorry man that is brutal. And the extra topper of her galivanting around immediately after.......yikes. Silver lining: Sex was awful/non existent (not anymore!) and you can rest assured it wasn't "you" per se. I will say, consider throttling her in the divorce- she owes you a financial stepping stone for a new start. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/22 09:48 PM |
| 2 | Anyone else in the early stages of divorce/separation and telling friends and family?It is hard....maybe not hard but weird. Its a strange topic to slip in "BTW I am getting divorced".... Ultimately your good friends and fam will understand if you care confident that its the right direction for you. Some won't, and thats the reality of it. This process does separate the wheat from the chaff as it pertains to true friends/fam. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/22 01:41 AM |
| 1 | Friendly divorce?My scenario only: this was my goal as well. I thought we could do it, I really could. But it just wasnt in the cards and it caused more problems than just cutting it off for a bit. Doesnt mean you cant come back and revisit but I should have cut it off, just made things worse . | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/22 01:27 AM |
| 1 | Feeling sad for a buddy, whos going to merry soon..Can't do anything. Have to watch the car crash in slow motion, and support where you can. Its cringeworthy in the highest sense of the term, but you cant to anything. If you do they will shoot the messenger. Gotta let it play out and watch the carnage. Sad. Hard. Awful. Tragic. We all have had lessons to learn on our own despite good council.... | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/22 01:02 AM |
| 1 | Defending yourself is Gaslighting?I just ended my marriage of 12 years for EXACTLY this. Constant defensiveness and finger pointing. Everything that was wrong with our marriage was my fault. Zero responsibility taken on her part. Finally had enough and dropped the hammer, best decision I've ever made. This behavior is poison to a relationship. If you cant communicate and reciprocate any relationship is DOA. Understand your value in the world and don't put up with this. Stay safe out there folks. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/22 05:42 PM |
| 1 | Do people regret getting divorced?Initiator here. It was a difficult but correct decision for all involved. As long as you go into it with a clean-break mindset and have your items in order there should be no regrets. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/04/22 02:02 PM |
| 5 | How do y’all feel about ever getting married again?There's no real advantage to it unless you have children for tax purposes. Its an antiquated practice that doesn't align with many people's thoughts of monogamy. No problem being fully and completely committed to a life partner without registering with the state. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/22 08:33 PM |
| 2 | How many here divorced (or considering) at their own initiative, not because her affair.No affairs (that is assured as I approached her about and she admitted asexuality) and generally a good hearted person when things are ideal, no waves. Did research and confirmed her upbringing brought upon a stunted emotional state, her new/first therapist confirmed. Her child-like emotional state did not allow her to engage in important partnership conversions - it was constant avoidance, defensiveness and gaslighting. Even coming to a conversation with sharing my challenges/shortcomings she r… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/22 10:57 PM |
| 1 | Afraid To Divorce My WifeNo. I am a 6/10, 6.5 on a good day and I am fighting opportunities off with a stick. There is a deep, mature group of women that had similar situations (Divorce of ending of LTRs) and I have found these women know what they want. Its so refreshing, no games or nonsense. Being along for a bit is hard, but healthy. Heal for a few months and get back in the game! | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/22 04:43 PM |
| 2 | How do you get over feeling responsible for the devorce?Advice OP: Divorce is ALWAYS a two way street. Sure, it is healthy to reflect and internalize your side of the result but know its also on her too. Reflection is healing, regret is not. Therepy does help and would recommend if you think you need some assistance there. Wish you the best. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/22 04:31 PM |
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