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CinnaMagister Archive

View 5 posts and 439 comments by CinnaMagister on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Great post. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/16 06:10 PM
1

Quality, quality post. Journaling may not be for everyone, but once you try it, you probably won't go back. I don't journal every day, but I normally use journaling when I'm stuck on myself. I recently used journaling to get over some personal bs. I filled a journal, but now I'm free.
/r/TheRedPill27/07/16 05:57 PM
1

No, it's not, because OP (this post) acted with a huge covert contract. He basically said, I think my comments are so important that if I comment on your thread, I will mirror it and splash it back up if you delete it. This post was all about him, notwithstanding the comments of the mods that they wanted to revisit the thread in some way.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/16 01:24 PM
1

So you came here because you didn't think TRP would tell you what you wanted to hear? But you think we will? Sidebar...Immediately read No More Mr. Nice Guy, then ask us for clarification. That book will answer a bunch of your questions for you. Who are you?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/16 02:10 PM
1

You have the structure of a good plan. STFU, taking it slowly. Don't forget it's marathon and not a sprint. If there is something that really resonates with you from NMMNG, just do it. As an extrovert, maybe you need to take a little time just for yourself each day (maybe a walk, your gym time, etc.). I'm an introvert. For me, making the decision to go out each week with a group of male friends started to get me some more independence.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/16 02:01 PM
1

I'm pretty well-organized; my wife is not. What I did was, I instituted a weekly planning time on Sunday afternoon with my wife. We'd go over everything each of us had planned for the week already, and then fill in various things like who would get kids from daycare on such-and-such days, etc. Then, we'd go through anything that popped up (such as the special class, or ticket payment, you suggested). You need to be on track with keeping notes during the week as you hear about these things. Overs…
/r/askMRP20/07/16 07:48 PM
2

There is a condensed version (The Concise 48 Laws of Power) that includes only Greene's exposition. I recommend slogging through the big book. It's worth the reading.
/r/TheRedPill18/07/16 08:08 PM
1

Donovan linked it pretty strongly with WoM, but I think it stood alone. Obviously, WoM fills you in on his general philosophy; BaB builds upon it, but it is not necessary to have read WoM, imo.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/16 05:31 PM
1

I enjoyed BaB.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/16 01:33 PM
1

You're operating one huge covert contract. Search through MRP and read about Outcome Independence, then read, lift and improve for YOU.
/r/askMRP13/07/16 01:27 PM
2

Keep going. Have you done the exercises in NMMNG? A lot of the guys here recommend starting with MMSLP, so you might get more value out of that one. I prefer NMMNG. If you're dedicated to the process, you'll move much more quickly than you if dip in here and there.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/16 01:11 AM
2

How many posts in MRP had you read before you posted this? How much of the sidebar had you read? What are you implementing from NMMNG and what questions do you have that pertain to that?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 01:31 AM
3

If a guy does no sidebar reading and hasn't even familiarized himself with the subreddit, why should we care?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 01:30 AM
1

Great post. The quality of your posts has really improved and you've come a long way on your journey and it's been inspirational to follow. Congrats. Keep moving forward.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/07/16 04:07 PM
2

His comment was gold. It's a shame your ego got in the way of reading and applying it.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/16 03:26 PM
2

His previous book, The Obstacle Is The Way, is a lite intro to Stoicism. Also recommended. I have this one (Ego) on my Kindle, ready to get into.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/16 01:49 AM
3

This is a good post. I'd encourage men to read widely. Don't fall into one niche (say, "Red Pill" only stuff). I like to read two or three books at one time. I'm usually reading something RP-related, but I also read some other nonfiction book at the same time. A lot of history can teach about tactics or good or bad examples. The history of exploration is filled with men who stepped out, left things behind, and made their own way in a new world. For some light reading at night, I'll read an occas…
/r/TheRedPill26/06/16 01:39 AM
1

I was hoping this was going to be a strategy article.
/r/askMRP25/06/16 06:35 PM
20

Everything you need to know you can learn from the taglines at the end of the X-Files intro video: The Truth is Out There Trust No One Deny Everything
/r/TheRedPill25/06/16 01:28 PM
2

The Dan Harris book is a solid recommendation. He approaches meditation as a bit of a skeptic and his stories portray him as a learner, not an expert. He provides a useful appendix and Q&A for help in beginning meditation.
/r/TheRedPill21/06/16 12:37 PM
1

You're welcome. Good luck with your journey.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 09:07 PM
1

That's what I was trying to convey--it's impossible for you to have DGAF attitude right now. But to the extent that you begin to implement my second paragraph, you'll develop that attitude because you will become more happy with yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 02:47 PM
2

Who cares if you get her back or not? That's the attitude you need to have. You obviously don't have it, so you need to cultivate it. Do what you said you're going to do -- lift, work on your physical appearance, read (or review) the sidebar materials, live your OWN life, develop or renew a hobby, invite your male friends over to hang out, fix broken things around the house and generally take care of yourself and your own shit. Then, if she is attracted to a well-balanced, self-actualized man, s…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/16 06:56 PM
3

For fuck's sake. Have you actually read the books? They are really about self-actualization (aka, tearing your head out of your own ass).
/r/askMRP16/06/16 02:51 PM
5

I did bicep curls with a roll of quarters and my arms exploded!
/r/TheRedPill13/06/16 07:34 PM
1

Eh, I keep wanting to relive the 1992/1993 glory years. Last year was exciting but ended in disappointment. Haven't been as excited about Toronto pro sports since 1993 (Leafs/Jays) until the last couple years, either.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/16 04:05 PM
2

Hey!
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/16 02:25 PM
1

Agreed. NMMNG is foundational for waking up to reality.
/r/TheRedPill13/06/16 02:20 PM
1

The book was good. He covers a lot of the material he writes books about on his blog, first. His blog is very good. I've been using variations of study/concentration methods from his "student" books for years, so Deep Work didn't add a lot for me, but it does provide a helpful framework.
/r/TheRedPill11/06/16 11:56 AM
2

No problem, I agree. Tracy is helpful. I read Eat That Frog many years ago and it was very helpful. Since then, I've found his books repetitive. But you're right--he breaks things down and provides helpful ways of processing and proceeding.
/r/TheRedPill11/06/16 11:54 AM
3

Excellent post. Cal Newport's books are excellent. Make sure to read his books that are written after he became a professor (his two most recent ones). They are excellent as well.
/r/TheRedPill10/06/16 12:35 PM
2

Nice list. I agree with something more user-friendly than 7 Habits for time management. Tracy's book is okay, but I like Dan Kennedy's No BS Time Management book. Time management is about prioritization. There is a lot of BS out there, but it all boils down to knowing what you need to get done and doing it. Spend some time figuring out your goals and such, make a plan the night before for the next day, use a list if you need to, and start plowing through it.
/r/TheRedPill09/06/16 02:01 PM
3

The fuck??? Sounds like you are finding validation in these relationships. You are "doing TRP" to impress women, but once you find a woman, you replace "doing TRP" with making her happy, which turns you into the "Yes man" who gets dumped. You change in relationships. What attracted her to you is not what you deliver. What you need to do is find happiness within yourself. Lift weights for you. Realize you don't need a woman for anything. Let women come along with you but do not change or compromi…
/r/TheRedPill09/06/16 01:57 PM
2

Pragmatically, is this arrangement more likely to succeed in long term stability and faithfulness, than a legal marriage? I doubt it. Why would these parameters make a difference about the quality of your relationship? What I like about the "MRP" flair in TRP is that we can discuss these issues while holding out the idea that marriage/cohabitating is a bad idea, but if you find yourself in that situation, here is what you should do... If you choose to live with a woman (regardless of the situati…
/r/TheRedPill08/06/16 01:46 PM
1

Yeah...maybe.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/16 12:29 PM
1

So we have a wife in here, making sure we really, truly understand women? My experience was the direct opposite. I began making all decisions, informing her after the fact, outlining what was going to happen that day, and she had more time and inclination to focus on the kids, herself, and she's in the other room right now exercising and taking care of herself. Care to guess what will happen this afternoon?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 03:01 PM
2

Yup.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 02:55 PM
1

I think he's extrapolating from the experience of E & S to the experience of the church-at-large, but that doesn't excuse the bizarre mishmash of approaches your church is taking to Mother's and Father's Days. I've seen it over and over again, where Mother's Day is filled with the handing out of flowers to mothers, everyone dressing their best, going out to lunch afterwards, praising mothers, special readings, never a harsh word. On Father's Day, the "word" is laid down...fathers have failed, th…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 02:51 PM
4

The woman's comment said more about herself than you, or even the human condition. She's likely lonely, and she's extrapolating that to general experience. There's some good advice in this thread about how not to be lonely. TL;DR Be awesome to not be lonely.
/r/TheRedPill06/06/16 02:43 PM
2

I haven't read his blog, apart from the one post. How is he not fully in line with TRP?
/r/TheRedPill06/06/16 02:40 PM
1

I still don't know if you're "really" serious, because I don't normally see you be this straightforward about security, but I wouldn't have made the post if I didn't agree.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 02:36 PM
1

Under your strategy, doxxing may not be too bad. For those who are in careers they can't or won't leave, or who have families, doxxing could be very bad. They need to take serious precautions.
/r/TheRedPill06/06/16 02:36 PM
2

Probably not. Investigate security measures for your own goals and plan and act accordingly.
/r/TheRedPill06/06/16 02:35 PM
1

It's not that there is no opportunity for being satisfied and fulfilled; it is that the man bears almost all of the risk if the relationship goes bad.
/r/TheRedPill05/06/16 08:02 PM
2

I like this approach and it is the counterpoint to being safe. Be disciplined and careful, and plant fake information to throw doxxers off the scent.
/r/TheRedPill05/06/16 06:10 PM
1

...he said, and then deleted his account. How is idea actually new for people?
/r/TheRedPill05/06/16 06:08 PM
3

Cool. I'm striving for that ideal.
/r/TheRedPill05/06/16 06:08 PM
3

I love how Dark Triad this post has become.
/r/TheRedPill05/06/16 06:07 PM
3

/u/Cuck_Fag hit it. Whether or not you post and make comments, your association with subs like TRP is enough to be used against you by the bitterest of people. One day, some SJW might decide to comb through a post like this and figure out how she can doxx anyone she can put a name to. Just for fun. Just because she's a bitch. Now, she likely knows you are Kyle, probably college or younger, possibly newer to Reddit, maybe 2166 is a street address, maybe a combination of other things, but she begi…
/r/TheRedPill05/06/16 11:46 AM
1

I read that one a month or so ago after you'd mentioned it a few times on here. Enlightening.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/16 11:43 AM
3

There's that approach, too. While I like that and think that it is the ideal, many here do give a fuck (and probably need to), so this post is for them. But I like your attitude.
/r/TheRedPill05/06/16 11:41 AM
2

The confusion created by the commonality of your username is great. Some people don't realize the trail they leave behind them.
/r/TheRedPill05/06/16 11:40 AM
3

Great tip. I use my FB much the same way.
/r/TheRedPill05/06/16 11:39 AM
1

Thanks for this synopsis. I'm going to buy the book.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/16 12:52 AM
1

Yup. This is the deeper stuff I didn't want to get in to in the post. Generally, this wouldn't be found by a regular doxxer, but it is still out there.
/r/TheRedPill05/06/16 12:41 AM
1

I don't know if you're serious or having fun, but I chuckled. And I agree, but that's a lot of work!
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/16 12:40 AM
6

Anything you can do to obfuscate your real persona is a good idea.
/r/TheRedPill05/06/16 12:39 AM
1

Great concept.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/16 12:39 AM
13

That is actually a good technique to use to obfuscate who you really are. I recommend it.
/r/TheRedPill04/06/16 07:36 PM
1

Yes, reading their comment history. By composite, I mean that if someone is determined to figure out who you are, many comments are revealing. You're right on--once you start revealing aspects like university attended, age, occupation, even in general things, information is revealed. If someone wants to dig deeper, they can search usernames, etc., across the web. The composite is the picture that emerges across someone's comment history (and even more so if they use the same account name on diff…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/16 07:35 PM
1

You proved the validity of my post! My advice: Create two brand new accounts, following the rules I laid out in the post. One account for TRP only; the other for everything that isn't TRP. Never mix the two.
/r/TheRedPill04/06/16 06:26 PM
3

Someone else suggested to me before to change alt accounts every few months, as well.
/r/TheRedPill04/06/16 06:25 PM
2

Excellent.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/16 06:24 PM
1

Yeah, if you have to preface any incoming criticism as brutality, that tells me there are either gaps in your story or things you know are wrong (that maybe you left out), or you just want validation from some guys on the internet. Take the harshness, the brutality, and go deeper. If it's wrong, then it is, and you can discard it. But if it's right... Then you find the work to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/16 01:08 PM
7

I'm thrust back into a lot of "beta" duties. No, you're not. You are leading her, and your family, in a very difficult time by doing what needs to be done so the household can function. She is not likely able to do them herself, at either the volume or level those tasks need. By leading her this way, you are helping her die with grace and with dignity.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/16 01:05 PM
2

Is there a place where real RED members are congregating, outside of here?
/r/TheRedPill04/06/16 01:00 PM
1

How do you see this sub becoming more purple? I've migrated back over this way from MRP because that sub is becoming more purple.
/r/TheRedPill04/06/16 01:00 PM
2

1, who cares if this sub gets shut down or quarantinted? Trp.red was set up as an alternative. 2, definitely use an alt for TRP-related redditing. Do a little bit of reading about how easy it is to doxx someone and you will take the necessary precautions to preotect yourself.
/r/TheRedPill04/06/16 12:59 PM
1

Better to avoid the marriage and kids route, but you are absolutely right: there is always a trade off. If you find yourself married, your best options are to minimize the risk. I've set up a hybrid situation for my wife--she found a good part-time sales job that has the potential for good residuals, so she should be making ever more money while keeping a balanced schedule. This enables both of us to have direct oversight of our kids and we use a daycare where we know the woman personally and tr…
/r/TheRedPill04/06/16 12:56 PM
3

You hit the nail on the head. The one who has the power in any relationship is the one who can walk at any time.
/r/TheRedPill04/06/16 12:51 PM
2

Your edit would be the approach I would take if I decided to go that route. Getting some fulfillment while patiently waiting for my wife.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 03:15 PM
4

Good FR. It made me think about how I relate to my wife--too often I DEER, etc. I've been challenged to rethink how I relate to her during these shit tests, which have amped up lately. I do think there is a difference between dread and boundaries. Boundaries may induce passive dread, but your FR described active dread. Boundaries can be enforced apart from dread. I'm a little concerned about this: Guys, we read often that dread is bad with a pregnant woman. I’m living proof that while taking it …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/16 07:19 PM
1

Exactly. I'd say, even in Marriage/LTR situations, most guys still lack enough alpha because they are afraid and insecure. And their wives notice.
/r/TheRedPill29/05/16 12:17 PM
2

Good post. I think the Captain/FO metaphor breaks down at the point where the metaphor becomes "a captain needs a first officer." No, I don't need anyone or anything. I recently reread Athol Kay's MMSLP and was blown away by how purple, shading blue IMO, the book was. It was almost like "here's how to be just alpha enough to cover up that you are as beta as it gets but fool your wife anyway." This post is a good rejoinder to the purple shades that are brought in to attempt to justify why someone…
/r/TheRedPill29/05/16 12:10 PM
1

Very true.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/16 11:41 AM
1

Are you getting good advice from anyone else on here? It seems like you are progressing and moving in the right direction. Is it possible your wife is depressed? They also say around here that you need one month of dread for each year you've been together (and you've been beta). In my case, it took awhile (and is still ongoing) for her to appreciate the new ways I was acting. I was beta for so long (15+ years) that 1 month of fixing broken things around the house wasn't going to do it for her. A…
/r/askMRP29/05/16 11:41 AM
1

That's up to you. Just don't let others' frames (including your wife's) determine it for you.
/r/askMRP29/05/16 11:38 AM
1

I guess I also wonder about the quality of these women. You've stepped out in your marriage (ONS, etc.). No judgment at all, but my interpretation is that you are seeking validation. If you can fuck someone else, then you know you're the real deal and your wife is full of it. You need to stop looking for validation outside yourself. What do you do for fun? For hobbies?
/r/askMRP29/05/16 12:57 AM
2

I guess so. There seems to be an inordinate number of shitposts, trolls, and fake alphas lately in this sub.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/16 12:55 AM
1

I have no idea because there isn't enough information. You need to be able to answer that for yourself. My guess is, you are misreading interest or flirtation as attraction. If I'm wrong, it's entirely possible that your wife is out on a limb that is about to break (your relationship). Follow the steps advised in MRP if you want to keep her around.
/r/askMRP29/05/16 12:54 AM
1

Great post. I was blue pill as hell, got married, wasted 15 years, two sons. Now, learning the RP Way, one of my goals is to teach that way to my sons. It's long-term legacy thinking.
/r/TheRedPill28/05/16 12:13 PM
1

Overdrive is good but not all books are available on it, especially more obscure ones. OP's post is good (not sure why the post is being downvoted) but if someone can't pay $15 a month for an Audible membership, they have priority problems.
/r/TheRedPill28/05/16 12:04 PM
3

You should ask this in /asktrp because this is not a LTR. I doubt that you four months of RP has enabled you to get your shit together. In fact, if you are claiming oneitis for her, you're not RP at all yet. She's missing something, and that's what you're feeling. And you're looking for her to validate you by posting FB messages about you (not her ex). If your gut says to next, then next her (or reduce her to a plate without telling her). Then, focus on reading the MRP sidebar and applying these…
/r/askMRP28/05/16 11:52 AM
1

Exactly. Username checks out. Wtf is going on in this sub lately.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/16 03:49 AM
0

I noticed that and I agree with you.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 11:14 PM
1

That's not what I think. I was merely pointing out that /u/soaaddict is wrong in his approach where he is arguing with you. Accepting one's anger as a starting point, even if that person is pushed to move past the anger, is still accepting that emotion. He seems unwilling to even accept the emotion. He thinks /r/mrp is a place where emotions are unaccepted. Instead, /r/mrp accepts the emotion of anger and encourages people to move past it. I'm not sure of the validity of that approach. My person…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 10:54 PM
0

There's a big difference between accepting someone's emotions as a starting point and shaming them for having those emotions in the first place.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 01:41 PM
3

This was a great post for me. Not OP's intent, but it challenged me to figure out how to fix a plumbing problem in the house I've been shying away from.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 01:37 PM
1

I don't think you've been RP at all. I think you've been very, very BP. Deeply so. I think you're practicing avoidance rather than dread. I think you're chasing other women for validation. Your thread title says it all...you're looking for validation in being attracted to women. I'm speaking from experience. Focus strictly on yourself and your own growth as a person. Quit worrying so much about your wife.
/r/askMRP27/05/16 01:34 PM
1

Good point.
/r/askMRP27/05/16 01:32 PM
1

If she's concerned about the "spirituality" of your leadership as it relates to her submission, she needs to take a look at 1 Peter 3 where Peter advises wives to submit even to non-believing husbands in the hope that the husbands will be won over without a word. Also, I agree with every other reply to your comment here. This is a mess. You need to worry about yourself first.
/r/askMRP25/05/16 07:11 PM
2

Thanks.
/r/askTRP25/05/16 07:05 PM
2

That's really cool. I've spent time on that subreddit and have dreamed dreams of building a BWF playground. That's interesting to compare your results with how much you lost. It's making me rethink my strategy. What is RPT? I'm with you...excuses are for losers. I had a friend in fifth grade get butthurt when a teacher used him as an example and wrote that on the blackboard as a lesson to us all. But it's stuck with me.
/r/askTRP25/05/16 01:24 PM
1

This is a confusing post. Simple answer: Start doing things that indicate desire. That has nothing to do with showing neediness. Practice the 10 second kiss, hug her behind and bite her neck, slap her ass on the way by, stare at her cleavage when she comes into the room. For words, use pet words like, "baby," "babe," etc. Talk about her to others, in front of her, like, "my hot wife," etc.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 01:11 PM
1

This is one of the best things I've read here recently. It never ceases to amaze me how many of the FRs, and even guys in my own experience, fail to do this. I recently coached a guy on how to handle himself on a "first date" with a woman. He botched it before he even came to me, followed none of my advice, and was surprised when she wasn't attracted to him. Following your steps takes courage, for a guy who is used to letting others order him around. But take the first step, initiate, follow the…
/r/TheRedPill25/05/16 01:05 PM
2

I think one of the problems with the no-gym guys is thinking it takes an hour or more to go through a routine. What were you doing for bodyweight training?
/r/askTRP25/05/16 01:02 PM
1

I would argue against what you said, but I wasn't correlating the two. Just offering an anecdote from my experience.
/r/TheRedPill24/05/16 06:01 PM
0

It's the MRPers who think they have to defend the mods against the big bad wolf (/u/redpillschool).
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 12:28 PM
2

Solid point. I wouldn't apply this exclusively. In my life, I always try to have a mix of people I'm influencing and people I can be influenced by (mentors).
/r/TheRedPill24/05/16 12:18 PM
1

I suspect you are right about that. They tend to give more practical advice; I think that is the nature of the beast--why go to MRP unless you are already deep in the shit and need help.
/r/TheRedPill24/05/16 12:17 PM
1

Why the hell would you need to give her a sense of financial security?
/r/askTRP24/05/16 12:33 AM
9

Good point. Gaming, especially RPG or boardgaming, can actually be a very social experience, where one can build a circle around them to influence.
/r/TheRedPill23/05/16 07:04 PM
2

I like the opportunity to show leadership by addressing the fallen tree. No doubt the destruction to your house didn't help your wife's anxiety, but being able to see your leadership over the situation might help reduce her anxiety and will likely pay dividends going forward. Idk about the dread. In your situation, with the chronic anxiety disorder you described, idk if I'd be focused on laying down active dread. Passive dread will come naturally as you self-improve. Maybe your focus ought to be…
/r/askMRP23/05/16 05:11 PM
1

Solid reply and good work. You're definitely moving in the right direction, doing what you need to do, and focusing on improving yourself. Just make sure you find validation in yourself, taking pride in your own accomplishments, independent of your wife. With your wife's condition, just take into account my warning to be careful about covert contracts. She may need time to come around, based on her situation, that is independent of your journey. She's battling her own demons.
/r/askMRP23/05/16 05:07 PM
3

No doubt, and no shaming. A couple are beyond help. There are a couple guys I'm close friends with who are married; I try to help when I can. And a couple of single guys who are getting some very bad advice but won't follow the advice I give them. That's ok -- when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
/r/TheRedPill23/05/16 02:29 PM
1

Knowing what you know, be very careful about covert contracts. I wrote that because of this: Much of the things I'm changing or implementing aren't working correctly (compared to what I've read). Stay focused on yourself, improving yourself, cut her a break (when appropriate). You've told us about her but very little about you. Much of the things I'm changing or implementing What are these things?
/r/askMRP23/05/16 02:26 PM
2

This might be ok for certain brands of Christianity, but what if you're not Christian? Why would one interpretation of two instances in Genesis drive the moral frame of someone who is not of that faith? The title of the post is incorrect. You should have titled it, "Morality is the Ultimate Frame in My Marriage" and made this a field report of how your exegesis has improved your marriage, especially based on your last two sentences. This post is largely irrelevant.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/16 02:03 PM
1

I think you're right. I don't know any masculine men who are on a second marriage. I know a couple who posture as masculine men, but they are insecure as fuck when it comes down to it.
/r/TheRedPill23/05/16 12:33 PM
23

I'm in exactly the same boat. Decent marriage, implementing RP approach, won't leave because of kids (my choice, I'm owning it), but would never do it again. I've said it before, this is why I like this flair in TRP, because some of us found TRP after it was too late for us, but we're trying to make the most of a shitty situation. If you did yourself out of a shithole once, why would you jump into the same hole a second time?
/r/TheRedPill23/05/16 12:32 PM
3

Not always. I'm a "religious guy," but amoral on this issue.
/r/TheRedPill21/05/16 01:03 PM
2

For the most, they're probably not on this sub (over at TRP). Some lurking, maybe, which is why I like your focus on being clear about marriage not being a good option, but if you find yourself in that situation when you find this place, here are some strategies to deal with it.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/16 12:49 PM
2

That's a cool story. Your commitment to improving yourself is extraordinary. Have you posted a FR about this? I think it would be very useful for many.
/r/TheRedPill21/05/16 12:13 PM
1

It's too different places, for sure. Lately, I'm finding more value in TRP.
/r/TheRedPill21/05/16 12:08 PM
1

That's the way of the married mother. It's the same in my marriage. It's why we advise, don't get married. Some of us found TRP after it was too late; we were already married and don't want to/can't leave, so we use TRP to make the most of a shitty situation. In /u/Archwinger's case, she doesn't likely mean she wants him to work more hours...she presented it as one among many "positive" reasons for her making the switch to stay at home. I've been told exactly the same thing--if she stays home, s…
/r/TheRedPill21/05/16 12:04 PM
9

Nice, short and succinct FR. Thanks for sharing. I've been seeing the same thing, too. When I act in control of myself, responsible for myself and carrying out my vision at home, things are just a whole lot calmer.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/16 12:48 PM
2

I like that hard-edged focus. I'm trying to get there myself.
/r/TheRedPill20/05/16 12:30 PM
0

No problem with that. Anecdotes are good for what they are. But lmao at the guys "confirming" what is said because they have one anecdote that matches OP.
/r/TheRedPill20/05/16 12:29 PM
1

Completely agree, especially with your last line. And, the amount of anecdotes passing as "confirmation" in this thread is hilarious.
/r/TheRedPill20/05/16 12:48 AM
1

LOL
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/16 11:48 PM
2

You tell me. And even if you say the risk was greater in cheating, is it really up to us to describe cheating as "risky" or an "addiction." It is what it is; the consistent theme of this sub is the amorality of sexual strategy, and the shaming of men who cheat or fuck taken women, whether by outright condemnation of their strategy or delving into the "emotions" of it (seriously? emotions, in TRP?), is not a good place to go.
/r/TheRedPill19/05/16 11:44 PM
2

I'm watching the Stanley Cup playoffs but also following the AHL playoffs more so than usual with the Marlies going deep this year. Top Leafs prospect going to the Memorial Cup, too.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/16 11:35 PM
1

LOL. The reality is the reverse: their anger leads them to emotions, and they can't see perceptively enough to see the truth of some of these statements.
/r/TheRedPill19/05/16 11:25 PM
2

Did he finish the first one? I kept waiting and never saw it. I liked this post. He points out some of the issues involved in cheating without pushing morality onto others. That was left for the downvoters.
/r/TheRedPill19/05/16 11:16 PM
-4

Anecdotal evidence. Not confirmable.
/r/TheRedPill19/05/16 11:15 PM
3

Why say you're not proud of it? It is what it is.
/r/TheRedPill19/05/16 11:13 PM
14

Great point. I don't know what's going on in this thread.
/r/TheRedPill19/05/16 11:12 PM
2

No idea why you are downvoted so hard. Topics like this really test whether the sub believes sexual strategy is amoral or not. You're allowed to have your strategy just like those who disagree with you.
/r/TheRedPill19/05/16 11:12 PM
3

You got that right. OP claims not to care. "Divorce is always on the table," etc. He seems to not care if he gets divorced. In that case, who cares if she is looking for an escape? If she leaves, it may be doing him a favor.
/r/TheRedPill19/05/16 02:27 PM
11

If he needs to be told that, I question his whole post. I read it, thought it was a solid post, then he was an asshole to the first commenter.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/16 01:41 PM
3

I'll say the same thing I said over in /r/asktrp. but on the other side, I somehow believe that if I change my wife will change her mind and we can be again together. This is what is called a "covert contract." You think that by doing X, it should cause your wife to do Y. It won't. Spend some time deciding what you really want. For example, I don't believe you when you write this: if it wouldn't be for our son, I would just move out and started all over again, but now, I really don't know what t…
/r/askMRP19/05/16 01:38 PM
1

You're welcome. NMMNG will teach you how to figure out what you really want. You don't really want to smoke and play games all day; it's an escape from a shitty life. Once you start focusing on goals at work, interesting hobbies, and more, your life will coalesce around you. Right now you are so deep in the shit you can't think straight. You need to get away, go for a long walk, do something, where you can clear your mind and decide what you want. And then own it.
/r/askTRP19/05/16 01:35 PM
2

It is an option for this guy because he's married. Some of us are, and are trying to make the most of a shitty situation because we won't, at least at the moment, leave. The flair indicates clearly that the thread is about marriage. As always, buyer beware.
/r/TheRedPill19/05/16 01:31 PM
2

In his scenario, what does he have to lose if she looks for an escape plan? I like his hard dread approach.
/r/TheRedPill19/05/16 01:27 PM
2

I like the approach. Take a hard line, see where she is, and adjust accordingly.
/r/TheRedPill19/05/16 12:40 PM
6

but on the other side, I somehow believe that if I change my wife will change her mind and we can be again together. This is what is called a "covert contract." You think that by doing X, it should cause your wife to do Y. It won't. Spend some time deciding what you really want. For example, I don't believe you when you write this: if it wouldn't be for our son, I would just move out and started all over again, but now, I really don't know what to do. I think your TL;DR is more accurate. You wan…
/r/askTRP19/05/16 12:24 PM
1

That was the sense I had, too. He thinks Reddit got him into trouble but he can't stand up to his wife so he's scrubbing anything he thinks might incriminate him when she begins the inquisition.
/r/askMRP19/05/16 11:30 AM
1

What are you even asking? Your question makes it sound like you are experiencing shit tests that may be shading into emotional abuse, but your statement in the OP indicates that you are the one dishing out shit tests and worrying that you may be going too far? If it is the latter, you have some serious work to do. You don't do shit tests, you don't manipulate her in emotional ways.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/16 12:44 PM
1

This is bullshit and low quality even for /r/askmrp. Reddit did not get you in trouble; you got yourself in trouble by first, not taking care of your own personal property, and second, as already mentioned, you DEER'd instead of passing it off like nothing. The first rule of the "MRP Way" is to own your own shit and be responsible for yourself. Your title shows a long way to go yet.
/r/askMRP18/05/16 12:42 PM
1

Agreed.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 06:01 PM
3

You're not alone. Thanks for being honest about your anger; it's helping me think and work through my own anger, as well.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 01:21 PM
1

I held off from writing a comment because I didn't think I had any value to offer, but after thinking about it, my advice to OP would be, "fuck the books for your wife." He wants her along for the journey. She already is. If their relationships is really as described, then as he begins improving himself better as he says he will, she will follow him.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 01:20 PM
1

LOL, dude. So, someone who takes the "advice" of "unknown internet person" with a grain of salt, thinks about it, and applies it as he sees fit is someone who has now fallen under the sway of the bloopers? Read what people have to say and think about the lesson. The poster isn't important, his ideas are what matter Exactly. My comment was a rejoinder to do just this. It was for the men here who do not do any independent thinking but charge forward saying, "If it worked for CAD, it will work for …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 01:07 PM
5

For me, the hardest part of swallowing the pill was realizing for how long, and in what ways, I sought validation from women. My advice: what hobbies do you have? What advancement opportunities do you have at work? Dedicate some time to yourself, doing some things to benefit you directly, and learn to like and take pride in yourself.
/r/askTRP16/05/16 11:03 PM
1

I'd been hitting some goals. I left my list up, virtually unchanged, for this exact reason of accountability. I've been handling shit this week, and will report tomorrow.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/16 08:21 PM
1

This is a quality post. I read it last night, and again this morning. I especially like your description of the subtle ways men seek approval from women. This is perhaps the hardest addiction for many men to break on their RP journey. Developing a code of behavior, learning to enjoy yourself and your own company, and living towards a mission are key to living the principled life you wrote about. Thanks for this succinct post about staying committed to these things.
/r/TheRedPill15/05/16 11:58 AM
3

Why are you letting her control your emotional frame? Not to mention, there isn't enough info here to give you any kind of quality advice except to ask the generic questions: Do you have a MAP? Have you read the pre-requisites? Edit: Flesh this out if you want better advice.
/r/askMRP15/05/16 11:50 AM
2

I'd seen that link, too. One of the implications is that the "Cad" account, at least, was a sockpuppet account for CWM, which calls the advice given into question, imo. Caveat emptor, gentlemen.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/16 12:02 PM
1

In the first section of the book, he talks about how, in relationships, especially marriages, we have to balance alpha and beta traits. It is not about being alpha or beta but knowing when and how to exhibit these traits.
/r/askMRP13/05/16 12:54 AM
1

Someone needs to tell you this, and listen to this without any ego, please, because it's for your benefit. Your boss put you on notice. Find that balance and get back to kicking ass at work. In a world of abundance, which you are starting to see, women will always be there for the taking.
/r/askTRP13/05/16 12:02 AM
1

You're probably overestimating your ability to fool your boss. So you're question, how to bring everything back into a balance. You were too far "blue" in your first example; then too far into disengagement and focus on women in the latter (beware of seeking validation from women). How can you move towards the middle? Kick ass at work, and take ass with women?
/r/askTRP12/05/16 11:44 PM
2

Are you new here? Have you read MMSLP? He addresses this very thing.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 11:20 PM
2

You have to make your own decisions. I really don't care about her empathy levels and justifying it to me won't matter. Just one thing: make sure you fully own your decision. Don't leave room for doubt.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 11:18 PM
2

It's not that. It's the way your OP came across as running hard dread on your wife over the BDP, while claiming that nothing could be done. It sounded really bad on your part, and that's why a bunch of the guys have slammed you or held your feet to the fire. Most of the guys you are in arguments with have been around a long time (relative to this sub and/or TRP) and have a strong familiarity with the pre-reqs. You are probably right about that disconnect, however. It's the same for me--I get mos…
/r/askMRP12/05/16 10:52 PM
2

Have you read MMSLP? He says that running the MAP may result in the dissolution of the relationship. You may be there.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 10:45 PM
1

Good ideas. 48 Laws is fun, but, imo, challenging. It can be very dense. You might consider the concise version, or reading something else along with it in case you need to put it down and let the ideas gestate. Yes, good idea on your diet, as well. I was only saying, get some specifics into your plan so you are actually aiming at something. Generic ideas without specific action behind them don't result in change. If you follow through with some reading and cooking your own food, I think by the …
/r/askTRP12/05/16 10:44 PM
3

You can't "map" BPD. That's right. My point is, your MAP is irrelevant to her. It only applies to you. So if you got "nowhere" with it (your word), you have only yourself to blame.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 10:42 PM
6

I didn't directly quote from your own comment? You do your MAP for yourself. That is the consistent MRP approach. If you were getting nowhere, you were either totally half-assed in your approach, or you were applying it to your wife. So which one was it? btw, kill your ego.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 08:27 PM
7

But the honest truth is I started my MAP a year ago, and two months ago it was blindingly obvious I was getting nowhere. So your MAP was based on manipulation. That's your problem. Your MAP was one huge covert contract.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 08:09 PM
2

Looks like he just disappeared.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 08:04 PM
1

I know. He's making a start, at least, and he seems to be following through with some of the feedback.
/r/askTRP12/05/16 06:17 PM
1

Just to be clear, I wasn't being critical, just trying to help you see where you are really at, and it sounds like you grasp it quite well. Don't let school get in the way of your self-improvement. I've said it before it here, but if you can't get disciplined while in school, you won't get disciplined out of school, either. I like your plan. I'd encourage you to flesh it out more, to give yourself more accountability--what are you going to eat as you buckle down on your diet, for example. I real…
/r/askTRP12/05/16 06:16 PM
3

He's deleted his account, too.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 06:08 PM
1

I think you're saying it was more a change in pattern of behavior for your wife than a covert contract on your end.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/16 12:31 PM
0

I grew up listening to Dre, Snoop, NWA, Public Enemy and the rest of the usual suspects...still managed to be brainwashed by the conservative I was a part of. You held strong. But the warning is, there is a lot of bullshit out there. I try to mentor younger men whenever I can to be the center of their own world.
/r/TheRedPill12/05/16 12:26 PM
2

TL;DR we need to fucking do something So fucking do something.
/r/TheRedPill12/05/16 12:20 PM
2

Have you read Models by Mark Manson? He talks about appropriate uses of vulnerability. What NMMNG is discussing is the way beta men have been shamed through culture to not be their true selves. He is making the points you are struggling with only in the context of understanding ourselves, being who we are, and being real. He does not mean to wear our emotions on our sleeves.
/r/askTRP12/05/16 12:15 PM
7

You've misunderstood and gone too far with some things. OI: Inappropriate response to disengage and contribute less. Work is a sort of game; you have to know how to play. Blaming RP principles for disengaging at work says a lot about where you are with the pill. Social confidence: You've turned this into an excuse to work less. Charm: You are looking to be validated by women. Seeking value: You are making an excuse to not participate in the daily grind, like everyone does who is a "great cog in …
/r/askTRP12/05/16 12:13 PM
1

I'm not seeing dots being connected. You are barely acknowledging how blue pill you are. You have a lot to work on. What steps are you currently taking to improve yourself in a hard, concrete way? What is your training regimen? What books are you reading and applying?
/r/askTRP12/05/16 12:09 PM
1

Great advice on BSA leadership. I'm mulling over your last paragraph; it's a different perspective but I detect some truth there.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/16 02:07 AM
1

Sounds great! Keep following your path.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/16 02:05 AM
1

I apologize for misstating your religion. The number of prayers should have tipped me off. But I really enjoyed your emphasis on self-discipline. My experience is Christianity has been to blame men for most things and then to appoint the worst men as "leaders."
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/16 02:05 AM
6

Timely article, for me. I've been thinking about how to "get busier" beyond inside chores and yard work. I like your points about adding value and creating scarcity. Do you have kids? I am reluctant to have too commitments in the evening because I have young kids--but am seeing how leading my son's boy scout troop, for example, is one way of adding value, creating scarcity, and even a little dread.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/16 02:26 PM
2

He's talking about defeating self-limiting belief.
/r/askTRP11/05/16 02:13 PM
2

You're right, but I meant it as in, she'll either get on board or she won't. He needs to stick to building his own frame, of course.
/r/askMRP11/05/16 02:09 PM
1

Sounds like it's on the verge of a covert contract, with you waiting for her to take the lead in being available for sex (i.e., if she wants it), but... At the same time, if your description is accurate, you simply took care of your own shit and the rest followed. Good job. I enjoyed reading the report as a reminder to keep on the path, taking care of shit, and focusing on myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/16 01:07 PM
1

I STFU for those. They are irrelevant. And now becoming less. Tell her you are becoming healthier; she can either join you or not but you are not going to respond to her attempts to derail you. Buy and cook your own food. Take responsibility for yourself. I see a lot of AM/AA responses; I prefer a direct approach; she can take it or leave it.
/r/askMRP11/05/16 01:01 PM
1

Good plan, man. You're taking yourself seriously. Are you doing any of the sidebar reading? It sounds like you are a Christian (I am). I suggest reading No More Mr Nice Guy and doing the exercises. No rush, take your time with it if you are in the middle of studies, but add it as part of your discipline regimen. It will give you a good foundation for taking care of yourself. You're at the right age to really implement this. I mentioned the Christian aspect because, imo, much of contemporary Chri…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/16 12:56 PM
1

I agree. I know you can get NMMNG. I've also listened to 48 Laws of Power on audio. Extreme Ownership, a book that was popular here a couple months ago, is also available on audiobook.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/16 12:53 PM
1

That's what I was thinking, about multi-tasking. I'm with you, too--tired at night. Fortunately, my job allows for downtime where I can fit in some reading. Otherwise, I'd be cramming it in bit-by-bit and trying to use audiobooks more.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/16 05:42 PM
1

Thanks. That last bit is good to know. I was using melatonin for a bit but came to think it was actually making me more alert at night. So I dropped it.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/16 04:05 PM
4

Me, too. This was a low quality post for /mrp.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/16 02:55 PM
2

Do you not like to read? Would audiobooks be better, perhaps?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/16 01:47 PM
1

I have been half-assing this entire process. Huge realization there. I reached that understanding about myself a couple of months ago and have to ask myself that every week. In fact, this past week, I could say I half-assed it. What's ZMA?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/16 01:47 PM
2

Had a pretty shitty week (I was sick) and didn't accomplish much. I was thinking about not posting but decided to because I want the accountability of posting that I used being sick as an excuse to not do much. Even when I'm sick I can still do things and need to break down the self-sabotage and excuse-making I do. Shit I Didn't Own No gym Tracked expenses and spent way too much on personal items and eating out (the eating out was an excuse I was sick and didn't want to cook and wife mainly won'…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/16 01:45 PM
1

Just curious, but would your advice in the last paragraph change if kids were involved in this situation? If so, how?
/r/askMRP10/05/16 12:50 PM
3

However what the video doesn't mention is the amount of disposable or un-budgeted income. If I'm making 100k a year as opposed to 80k, but my expenses shoot up from 60% of my income to 80% my purchasing power actually decreased. This. For whatever reason, married men may make more money. But I can speak from experience in telling you that your disposable decreases substantially once there is a partner (and kids) in the house.
/r/TheRedPill10/05/16 12:49 PM
11

It's a good field report that reminds us we are on our own. He invested in himself in all three examples--he actually cooked real food in the first example; he positioned himself as a high quality man (and possible AMOG) in the second example; and he was out living for himself, comfortable with being alone (and being able to take care of himself) in the third. He demonstrated a you-first mentality. Take care of yourself, have fun, and don't let women frustrate you. As he was out on the trail fix…
/r/TheRedPill10/05/16 11:55 AM
3

I lol'd when he said his bike busted a nut for him.
/r/TheRedPill10/05/16 11:51 AM
2

You were physically and emotionally abusive but you don't trust her because of one incident that you are aware of? That's pretty cold. You need to get some help. You need to work on yourself before you worry about this relationship and your "trust issues" with her.
/r/askTRP09/05/16 02:15 PM
3

How in the fuck are we going to answer this question for you? Is there even a question here? What is this about? Since you're posting in /r/marriedredpill, you need to read the sidebar, especially the prerequisites. No More Mr Nice Guy will show that you are a supplicating, beta "nice guy" who is way too overly invested in this girl. You need to take care of yourself. What value is she adding to your life? If your answer has anything to do with taking responsibility for her or saving her, that w…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/16 01:55 PM
1

I have a hard time with a lot of your comments but thought this one was very insightful so I wanted to let you know. You've obviously dealt with a lot and bring a unique perspective to some of these discussions.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/16 01:45 AM
1

He suggested you read the BPD article on her website and note the description of the triangulation. He thinks she is triangulating other things into your relationship that are based on a BPD.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/16 11:45 AM
1

Best comment you've contributed that I've seen. Triangulation is something I see a lot of people engage in and they have no clue what it is they are doing.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/16 12:16 AM
1

If you're angry, be angry. Don't try to convince yourself you're not. Take the time to really process it.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/16 12:12 AM
1

What's the gray area? If you want the biblical teaching, divorce is never really in question (at least in the NT). The prohibitions exist on remarriage, which delves into the motivation for the divorce in the first place. If you're following the advice here, you wouldn't remarry anyway, so that's that. It's up to you to decide the contemporary morality of an ancient text.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/16 12:15 PM
1

That religious guilt is hard to work through...especially if you're of the conservative/evangelical variety.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/16 12:11 PM
1

What else does the Bible define as adultery? (I could care less about whether someone cheats or not; I judge no one this; just curious about the statement.)
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/16 12:09 PM
1

LOL, the two-week check in. I'll tell you what, the accountability helped me follow through.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/16 11:57 AM
1

Wasn't trying to be critical. Catharsis is good, just don't feel like it's the end. You seem to have a grasp of your problems, so you know your starting points. Write them down, make plans. Your plans will change, but if you have goals you will make progress. There are several well-written posts every week in OYS that you can use as templates. Start small to make the best progress. Even if it is a small area like grooming better or leaving early for work to have a little time for yourself, the s…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/16 11:56 AM
2

Northern US.
/r/askTRP07/05/16 11:53 AM
1

Had a hard time reading this; not really sure what the point is. Now that you've (victim) puked all this out, did you finish NMMNG? What are you going to do about it? And what do you want out of this situation? Edit: You should make a plan, your MAP (MMSLP), and post consistently to OYS.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/16 01:59 AM
2

I get it. I'm 5'6" and would like to be taller. I'm just saying, it is what it is. You can't change it. Be the best you you can be. Your height isn't an issue unless you act insecure about it. I can tell you that, even at 5'6", my height is no issue for being the AMOG in my circle or for attracting women.
/r/askTRP07/05/16 01:53 AM
2

Sounds like you made and executed a good plan. You are insecure about your height but are doing what you can about, taking action. Good work, and good luck.
/r/askTRP06/05/16 05:47 PM
-1

This is passive-aggressive behavior. Make a hard boundary. You won't bathe the kids if she does this 30 minutes prior to the bath; she will.
/r/askMRP06/05/16 01:21 PM
2

Who the fuck cares? Don't get discouraged. It is what it is. I'm 5'6". Used to care, now don't give a fuck. I have a successful career, and though I made a mistake in marrying, I have a nice life, turn the heads of women, and am always working on improving myself. Your life is what you make of it. What are you doing to improve yourself and be attractive?
/r/askTRP06/05/16 01:07 PM
2

A couple weeks ago I read something by someone on TRP who said he had oneitis for his barbell. That motivated me to get serious about my goals.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/16 01:04 PM
1

Yup. Still waiting to use it. Of course, my body self-sabotaged me; I've been sick all week. But taking the opportunity to whine or complain to wife and keep working on things and taking care of shit as best I can.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/16 01:03 PM
2

Love the alliteration!
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 02:00 PM
2

If you call the pizza guy, you may get immediate sustenance, but likely a bigger problem on your hands later.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 01:58 PM
5

A huge difference that I see between the two subs is the hard focus on implementation here. Over there, I enjoy some of the theory posts, and that's about all I read. Still, there seems to be little to no focus on actual implementation, just piling on in agreement or disagreement of the content of the post. Here, I've had follow-up from guys seeking to know if I did what I said I'd do. /u/[deleted] wondered in a thread over there what a OYS post in /r/trp would look like? I wonder, too. I think …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 01:58 PM
2

Good advice here. Just tell her, No, I don't like this kind. Go do something for yourself and don't feel the need to stay in constant contact with her. I don't think he's looking for validation as much as this is a victim puke where he thought he knew how his wife viewed him, only to realize, on his birthday, it is even more shitty than he thought. Been there, done that. Now, I take care of myself on events like birthdays and whatever else happens, is just extra.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 01:44 PM
10

As a married man, and as a man who works with married men as part of his career, what you wrote is right on. I'm glad the sub is going in this direction. I especially like your point about those of us who are married are not superior to the "young'uns" here on TRP. You're right...now that we shifted from BP to RP but made the choice to stay in a marriage and try to make it work via RP values, all we are doing is admitting that we are making the most of a major mistake.
/r/TheRedPill05/05/16 12:20 PM
2

I am not feeling threatened, [but I'm hamstering the type of lies] Yes, you feel threatened. You invested yourself into her and are having a hard time realizing that she still has the feelz for this other guy and not you. Common advice might be to next her; that's up to you. On the other hand, what you need to do is start improving yourself to the point where you don't give a fuck about any of this because it is incidental to you as a person and to your mission. What are your goals? What is your…
/r/askTRP05/05/16 12:11 PM
1

Cool. Good luck!
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 01:05 AM
3

What the fuck is this about? If you "have a mission," why in the fuck are you posting about her wanting different tickets? What is really going on here?
/r/askMRP04/05/16 07:26 PM
1

That's deep.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 07:07 PM
1

What's your goal? Is it to loosen you up in social situations? Get to know other people? Get them to know you? When people are comfortable around you (which will happen when they feel like you listen), they will come to you to talk. It is more important, for many reasons, to be known as a listener.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 07:07 PM
1

No, she told me about it after we'd been married for some time and I laughed it off. We didn't need the "advice." I agree, though--really fucked up. But if you knew him, you'd see why. Mr. Awkward.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 07:05 PM
2

Nail down the self-discipline now. I had a professor in college tell me if you can't be disciplined in college, you won't be when you're out. He's right. Self-discipline and self-control are two of the best things you can learn for yourself right now.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 03:18 PM
1

Great idea! It's easier to do, once you start. For me, one of the best tips I found was in How To Make Friends by Carnegie. He says just to ask people questions about themselves. It's really easy to keep a convo going when you get people talking about themselves.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 03:16 PM
1

Lmao! My father-in-law, before my wife and I were married, actually told her we should schedule when we'd have sex--actually put it on a calendar!
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 03:14 PM
1

Welcome back. Was going to say thing about insecurity. The fact this conversation happened two weeks ago and he's still focused on says he has a lot to let go of. OP, what are you doing to improve yourself? You're spending a lot of time living in the past, and trying to let the past shape your perspective on your present. What is your future? Start living that now. Where are you vis-a-vis the sidebar?
/r/askMRP04/05/16 03:10 PM
2

Good point. I'm not thinking about her too much because I know, right now, I'd walk away if pressed hard enough. But I know the MAP isn't finished yet and some of this is premature because she's seeing parts of the new me--and the old me was around for 15 years.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 03:06 PM
2

He bought the books but didn't read them. See! I bought the books! Why haven't changes happened???
/r/askMRP04/05/16 03:05 PM
3

I read this last night, figured I was too tired to understand the post, and closed my computer. Yet, here it still is. This is an extremely low quality post by someone who probably spends most of his time in /r/asktrp and wandered over here without even checking out the sidebar. Your advice is apropos, for both of them.
/r/askMRP04/05/16 03:04 PM
6

Wait exactly 2 days, 7 hours and 12 minutes to contact them.... Seriously? There isn't a science to it. TRP is a set of habits and mindsets and the building of a frame. It is not a blueprint for this kind of crap. If no one is replying to you it is likely that you aren't that impressive to begin with...hence why you're on CL instead of meeting women IRL. Send a message out...just tell her you had a good time, when is she available next, you're available on Thursday night (or whenever). Then leav…
/r/askTRP04/05/16 03:00 PM
1

I agree. She knows full well I don't give a fuck right now whether the relationship works out or not. I'm doing me for me, I'm there for my kids, and I'm keeping the household stable. She knows we can talk if she wants to; if she is unreasonable, she knows I will STFU. I think her approach is to get me to leave so she can be the "innocent" party.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 02:54 PM
1

You won't get banned but the downvotes are because you throw out something with no explanation.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 02:50 PM
1

Great reply! Thank you for the tips. I have not tried metta meditation but I am going to look into it. Also the app. We have occasional date nights. About twice a month her dad takes the kids for the night and I take her out for a nice dinner. Doesn't happen enough, and to be honest, I'm not really looking forward to another right now. Perhaps the meditation will help. I don't plan meals, but I do most of our prep and cooking and all our grocery shopping. You've offered a simple suggestion: just…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 02:45 PM
2

Shit is being ramped up. She asked me this morning when I'm moving out; I told her I'm not, when is she moving out; she said as soon as she gets a place; I asked how she'll support herself and got crickets.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 02:41 PM
2

I'm with you, brother. You pretty much described me in that reply. I know I'm not far enough in to decide this, but I'm starting to think my marriage may be one of the ones Athol Kay describes as not working once the MAP is put into play. It "worked" previously because I was an ambition-less doormat. My wife was "trained" by her Dad (his word) to be "independent" but she isn't capable of it and it led to an entitlement mentality that is hard to break (and that he keeps encouraging through his bu…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 02:40 PM
2

When I read "husbandry," I thought, this guy works on a farm? LOL I read ScreamFree Parenting. Highly recommended. He teaches you to take a step back, and take care of your own emotions before responding to your kids. I've been using the technique fairly effectively since I read it.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 07:32 PM
2

"What the actual fuck?" is what I thought, too. My wife knows many of the women, and she confirmed most of them are married or in LTRs with the boys' fathers, so the dads were MIA. They were there to support their sons in a "boys activity." Ripe opportunity to display masculinity where there is a giant void.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 07:27 PM
1

I've experienced something similar regarding gaming my wife, she shit tests me, I withdraw affection and attention, and there is no sex to be had. I'm seeing it as there not being enough dread on my part and desire (for me) on her part. It's almost as if the shit test is her frame, and I haven't been able to break it yet. If I fail the shit test, an argument ensues, and no sex is had. If I pass the shit test, I withdraw, and no sex is had. Her frame is "no sex." Up until about 6 weeks ago, I was…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 04:59 PM
3

I was going to suggest that the best diet is one where you change your approach to food and eating, rather than one where you skimp on or cut out things, because you will always look to go back. I second the emphasis on keto. Yes, you are cutting out carbs, but it is a lifestyle change that is very sustainable.
/r/askTRP03/05/16 03:51 PM
1

No More Mr. Nice Guy will teach you how to make sure you take care of yourself so that you do not become someone else's doormat (especially a woman's). The 48 Laws of Power is often recommended as a strategy guide for navigating the world of business and relationships.
/r/askTRP03/05/16 03:47 PM
3

Progress from items from last week: Bought gym membership Improved diet by eating less fast food Worked in the yard several nights and cleaned gutters on the house Practiced the 10 second kiss with my wife several times Tracked budget categories and found spending to be mostly on point but noticed areas to tighten up in Focused on kids more; read ScreamFree Parenting and tried to implement Edited my reddit and RSS feeds for quality and to reduce time-sink Wife told me I'm self-centered and I do …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 01:47 PM
3

This is great advice. I was thinking how I feel like OP sometimes. After your reading your comment, I realized when I spend most of my day at home (I can work from home), especially when my wife is around, is when I feel most lethargic. Getting out of the house and recovering masculine energy is a great idea!
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 01:35 PM
8

There isn't enough dread. So you need to not give a fuck while you keep improving, doing the things you already doing and internalizing the readings. Where are you with NMMNG and MMSLP? Any approach you take about this guy will be seen by her as either controlling (coming from a beta frame) or very, very beta by itself. Why do think she has the emotional affair already? Personally, I'd ignore her and keep working my MAP. One night, I'd mention a dinner out with a woman from your hobby group or s…
/r/askMRP02/05/16 07:39 PM
1

This again?
/r/askMRP02/05/16 02:03 PM
2

I don't think there is any dread. You're telegraphing your moves too much. Don't tell her when you'll be back. You are keeping her informed about you unnecessarily. Just tell her you're taking off, see you later. If she asks when you'll be back, tell her you don't know.
/r/askMRP02/05/16 02:02 PM
3

Not enough info, but generally, if what you described is the truth, STFU and DGAF. You set the boundary, called her out, and she got all pissy as a way to try to bait you. It may be frosty for awhile, but if you give in, she has called you back under her control.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/16 11:15 PM
1

"His" post was /asktrp quality.
/r/askMRP30/04/16 11:13 PM
1

I need to add it to my to-read list.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/16 06:05 PM
4

Quality post. Stay focused on your mission and stay in the moment.
/r/TheRedPill29/04/16 12:34 PM
1

I've done it before and can tell it provokes it a positive response. But if she pisses me, I back off from it. I need to work on OI and keeping frame, and I think this might help with it.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/16 11:27 AM
2

Understood. Good perspective.
/r/TheRedPill28/04/16 10:10 PM
9

So you're brother is the standard for how to apply this lesson? A TRP man would have his shit together and would be dealing with legitimate issues. If he actually did need his wife to tell him about a legitimate issue, he would listen and take care of it. She wouldn't have to nag him. His point is simple: women are like children and both can be bratty when they want attention. Don't give attention to women in the form of arguing, DEERing, etc. It is a waste of time. Instead, do something else th…
/r/TheRedPill28/04/16 05:11 PM
1

He means stop doing things for her approval or because you think it's her expectation. Stop trying to be validated by her.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 04:52 PM
1

Relative to where you started, you see some improvement and rightfully take pride in that. But your validation seeking from your wife with sex as the prize is holding you down. Don't call yourself a joke. It's defeatist. I asked you some questions, outlining answers to some of those will help you keep improving.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 01:13 PM
1

This is what I did. She went out and found a part-time job.
/r/askMRP28/04/16 12:41 PM
1

I don't think you do feel better about yourself. Otherwise, you wouldn't post a 9 months-in victim puke. Your're validated by your wife, when or if she gives you sex. You aren't happy with yourself (yet). Keep improving. Take the suggestion of working on a MAP. You cannot let your wife run the show, so what specific things can you do, starting today, to start taking control of your own life and leading within your marriage?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:26 PM
2

No doubt you're also coming across as butthurt after she rejects your iniitation. Skipping "I love you for the first time ever" proves it. She'll notice, believe me. Your better move was going to your office, showing indifference to her refusal. Take the advice offered in this thread; read and take action. Get in shape. Keep improving. Live for yourself, not her. You're totally in her frame, needy, and she sees it and it turns her off. Start with No More Mr. Nice Guy.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:23 PM
2

That's the TL;DR I was looking for! Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:11 PM
1

LOL
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:10 PM
1

I've read and seen both of those. My basic point is to not let our "stoic-ness" or "alpha-ness" override those times when our SO's need emotional care. Using vulnerability strategically to lead, not be a moping mess who wears his emotions on his sleeves and calls it being vulnerable. We agree, but we're talking about different things.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:10 PM
1

You're welcome. I'm wondering if there is a correlation where guys find TRP first, then find MRP through that, if they are the ones who struggle most with going hard-alpha without balancing it with beta traits. Conversely, I wonder if the guys who find their way here, or to RP in general, from some other means (in my example, I found NMMNG first, and my search from there led me to RP/MRP) find this balancing to be more straightforward because they weren't influenced at first by plate-theory and …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:07 PM
2

I thought about WotSM after I posted. I haven't read Models. Yet.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:03 PM
1

I struggle with that, too. I like everything organized, planned out and structured. But things are a lot more fluid than I like. I like your point about being adaptive.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:03 PM
2

I'm an introvert and tend to be self-reflective.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:58 AM
4

When my wife starts on with her honey-do lists I don't get mad and start yelling any more. I smile and listen- and then do what I want. However, I take into account her needs, desires, and preferences. I maintain a list of things that need to be done around the house. When she tells me something she thinks needs done, I make a point of adding it to my list in front of her. Then, I prioritize what really needs to be done. The secret is that I'm always working off that list...so things in and arou…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:57 AM
1

Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:47 AM
1

Understood. Is it possible to give her an allowance? I have a reloadable debit card linked to our joint checking account. Every week, I send her a set amount of money to be spent however she wants. My only requirement with it is that she buys her own gas. She remains linked to the joint checking account in case of emergency or larger expenditures (that are agreed upon ahead of time). She knows if she raided the account I'd take her off it. The workable compromise, in conjunction with the two pre…
/r/askMRP27/04/16 04:43 PM
2

I like how you put that. She's definitely confused and still thinks she is the prize, but she knows I don't need her.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 04:38 PM
1

I believe small things like this buy me some time (and respect) while I'm working on the bigger problems.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 04:22 PM
2

Sure does.
/r/askMRP27/04/16 04:20 PM
1

To each their own. Just make sure you are processing, and then implementing, what you are learning.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 04:20 PM
1

Good point. She noticed when I began taking care of these small things on my own, without her. Like you said, actions speak louder than words.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 04:19 PM
3

I used to expect her to do basic things for me, like buy my shampoo, razors, etc. Now, I take care of it all myself. Including the bandaids. She said, "You could almost live on your own now." I replied, "No problem." And walked away.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 01:21 PM
1

Only you can change you. They say around here that "red pill", /mrp, etc., are only tools that you pick up and use as needed. My recommendation: Today, at your first opportunity, buy No More Mr. Nice Guy. Buy the Kindle version if you can read it that way so you can begin today. Read the book straight through to get an overview, then go back through it and do the exercises. When you are done that, come back here and post what you learned and we'll help you from there.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 01:17 PM
2

I think you're right. He's fucked things up somewhere and won't own it.
/r/askMRP27/04/16 01:13 PM
2

Yeah, the penultimate paragraph seems to come from out of nowhere. She obviously isn't recognizing your progress. She may have extremely low self-esteem and your changes, and adoption of better self-leadership and leadership within the relationship, are threatening her. She may also think you are full of shit. Don't fool around with the vein-cutting stuff. Definitely get her to see someone. In the meantime, keep working on yourself but don't forget the emotional leadership of your wife. I think …
/r/askMRP27/04/16 01:12 PM
2

I agree. I just wonder why you need to divert the money to a third account controlled only by you? You purposely told her. What were you trying to accomplish? That decision has now caused strife. How can you own it now?
/r/askMRP27/04/16 01:02 PM
1

Whoa? you mean talk to her in a logical manner and find out what she is really trying to convey without the emotional beams blinding the facts? Yes, it might be difficult, but I think, in light of this By the time I'm about to comfort her, it's normally after I've tried AM and AA. Maybe this is a reason she doesn't see my comfort as I'm trying to deliver. that she's probably getting mixed signals. There is a time and place for AM/AA for sure, but you may be crossing her up too far and causing/cr…
/r/askMRP27/04/16 01:00 PM
2

I'm changing the habit.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 12:57 PM
1

I generally just talk to my kids, asking them questions, until we unravel what the "emergency" is really about. I'm not perfect, sometimes I get angry too quickly and resort to spanking, but it's rare. A couple of really good books are ScreamFree Parenting and Parenting with Love and Logic. I'd recommend both of them.
/r/TheRedPill27/04/16 12:56 PM
2

On top of that, if finances are so tight that he needs a third job, why does he want to divert the money into an account that only he controls? I don't believe that he "accidentally" told his wife. He told her to check her response, and now that he realizes how deep into it he is, he wants us to bail him out by blaming her.
/r/askMRP27/04/16 02:01 AM
4

I'm no expert, but it sounds like your AM and AA are backfiring and causing a decided lack of comfort that your now pregnant wife is looking for. Everything isn't a game. Not everything requires an amped-up response. Sometimes you can treat you wife like a person with real needs and give her the comfort she needs and still be a man. You're not calling her or messaging her during the day because you read here that those things are for logistics only...but that doesn't mean you have to go dark. Yo…
/r/askMRP27/04/16 01:58 AM
1

Spanking is breaking frame when done out of hot anger in the moment. If spanking is held out as a consequence for a particular action, then it is not breaking frame. It is merely the logical consequence of what was known.
/r/TheRedPill27/04/16 01:52 AM
6

You don't want a child learning that they have to cow-tow to a person's whims to get attention. Especially sons. /u/apskidb is right...it's passive aggressive. Although children make "artificial emergencies," there are ways of handling these that are different than handling the same "emergencies" from grown women.
/r/TheRedPill27/04/16 01:51 AM
6

You mentioned raw plants. Are you in line with the keto diet, as suggested by OP, not strictly plant-based?
/r/TheRedPill27/04/16 01:47 AM
5

My wife keeps all our first aid stuff squirreled away for some damn reason (claims the kids always get into it). A couple weeks ago I cut myself and needed a bandaid. I asked her for it and she told me to wait until she finished texting. I was bleeding. I was pissed off, so I went to the store and bought my own bandaids. I proceed as though I am on my own, until she proves otherwise. Good lesson.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/16 05:17 PM
1

Sounds like you're moving in the right direction. I'm like you when it comes to reading--multiple nonfiction books plus one fiction book (usually a graphic novel) that I read at night to unwind. How do you process your reading? Do you journal? Take notes? I take notes that I then try to turn into action items to help me improve with.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/16 05:14 PM
4

Mea Culpa: Have really slacked the last 6-8 weeks. I could outline "why" but they are all excuses. Lots of problems were caused over 15 years of being blue pill and I often find myself falling back into my wife's frame. This past week, I did a couple things for myself, aroused suspicion, STFU'd, and did not DEER. I'm getting back on track and tracking my progress by way of how I'm owning my shit in the five categories of: personal, professional, social, family, and financial. Personal. I stuck t…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/16 01:45 PM
1

Give it a read. It's short and quick. It might have more of what you're looking for, if not, it will at least provide you more awareness. Anyway, like I said, good luck in your search.
/r/askTRP26/04/16 01:06 PM
1

Understood. It's hit or miss for me, too. Good luck.
/r/askTRP25/04/16 11:34 PM
3

That's cool, but MM is about how society and culture are framed to work against men in favor of women. Have you read it?
/r/askTRP25/04/16 11:33 PM
1

/r/theredpill Also, try reading The Manipulated Man.
/r/askTRP25/04/16 08:14 PM
1

Yup. Feeling good. I appreciate the follow up and encouragement.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/16 07:29 PM
1

Yup. After the first two sprints I thought, what's the big deal? During the third, I realized what the big deal was... Planning on posting to OYS tomorrow, but also planning to get the gym membership this week and get started.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/16 07:13 PM
1

About those wind sprints.... <picking myself up off the asphalt...>
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/16 06:44 PM
1

In the 12 Stages of Dread post, /u/BluePillProfessor offers some good advice on dealing dread to a pregnant woman. Read that advice carefully. You need to be careful that your STFU, while intended by you not to screw up further, does not come across to your very pregnant wife as a dread move.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/16 02:01 PM
1

Nice.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/16 02:00 PM
1

Like /u/bluepillprofessor said, I'd be careful applying the hard dread (leaving without a word, "laying down the law" about no more bad sex) when she is 39 weeks pregnant. She gave you a comfort test and you think she's lying. How did you answer her?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/16 02:43 AM
1

That's what I thought. Sitting down with the paper to make a plan after breakfast was a mistake. When she asked you about making lists, you should have told her to go shower because you already had the day planned. And actually had it planned.
/r/askMRP25/04/16 02:30 AM
1

Are you subscribed to the sub? Have you posted there before? They may have your account in moderation.
/r/askMRP25/04/16 02:25 AM
2

Sounds good. I think the recommendation is to really focus on stages 1-5. Take it slow. Focus on improving yourself. Good work.
/r/askMRP24/04/16 07:09 PM
1

Also read the 12 Stages of Dread and begin following that plan. That is the "beginners" stuff. And take the advice to take it slooooooow.
/r/askMRP24/04/16 11:54 AM
1

I think all that drama happened before you arrived. It was classic.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/16 11:32 AM
3

I'd also ask this on /r/redpillwives
/r/askMRP23/04/16 07:17 PM
1

LOL. Got it!
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/16 12:24 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/16 12:43 AM
2

I'll be a rank beginner. Which of the lifting programs do you recommend? I'm aware it's been two weeks. Things have been kind of fucked for me, as evidenced by the spotty OYS posts. That's an excuse, I know, but I'm still working on getting my head out of my own ass. Wind sprints is a good idea. For now.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/16 12:14 AM
1

Shit to Own Not lifting. I've been consistent with bodyweight strength (not cardio) work outs, with progress, but it's time to get to the gym. Someone else mentioned awhile back that, from my description, it sounds like I need to get out of the house more, and that will give me the opportunity. Thanks for the follow-up. I needed the kick in the ass.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/16 12:02 AM
2

Totally missed the point.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/16 12:32 PM
1

You're welcome. Just remember, you lead by your consistency of attitude. As we say at /mrp, "be the oak." As someone else said, she wants you to listen, not necessarily to fix.
/r/askTRP21/04/16 07:09 PM
3

Asking for a friend, huh? It's not your responsibility to caretake her emotions. She needs healthy ways of dealing with her own emotions that do not involve you being an emotional tampon for her. That said, if you are seriously considering an LTR, she will want you to be a rock for her. This might mean listening to her, understanding what her issues are, and summarizing them in a reflective statement back to her. This is a form of a comfort test where she wants to know that you support and love …
/r/askTRP21/04/16 03:19 PM
3

Or maybe you lose SMV when your wife realizes you could have had a better job but you passed it up to be a "family man"? How about focus on priorities and time management and stop trolling /mrp? Edit: words (corrections)
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/16 02:48 PM
1

Exactly. He posts to /mrp trying to rationalize why he can't leave. He's better than those who do; so he's going to go spend time with his wife. She just happened to be calling him from the other room to bring her some more snacks.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/16 02:47 PM
2

What the actual fuck??? Career beta, won't leave his wife, hamsters a rationalization involving kids, then leaves to go spend time with his wife. Most likely was ordered by her to "get off the damn computer and get over here and rub my feet."
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/16 02:45 PM
1

Second the recommendation to make sure that journal is kept safe and secret. It sounds like you've lived your life for the approval of other people. Since you're reading NMMNG, let me suggest: do the exercises! These will help you begin to put yourself first.
/r/askMRP21/04/16 02:23 PM
2

Good comment. I'm writing this down.
/r/askTRP21/04/16 02:08 PM
2

Exactly. Welcome to the life. OP can make excuses, or make a life.
/r/askTRP21/04/16 02:08 PM
3

She's in your head. You can't think straight because you are obsessed with her. She is nothing special, you are finding your value in her, because you have no self-respect or self-value. This is meant to help you; I've been in a similar spot as you. You really need to take my advice, and the advice of others in here, and get your head clear and on straight.
/r/askMRP20/04/16 02:56 PM
2

Add an example or two and make this a field report or flesh it out with more theory. There's not enough here.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/16 02:20 PM
1

Some really good advice in here, OP. I hope you take it. Since you put yourself over as having read the three sidebar prereq books, have you applied them? Which one is most important to you right now? Since you mentioned MMSLP specifically, do you have a MAP in place? Are you working on one? Are you really seeking to better yourself as a man or just looking for techniques to use?
/r/askMRP20/04/16 02:03 PM
3

Stone is right, she's gone and she nexted you. First thing you should do: Read No More Mr. Nice Guy and do the exercises. Take it seriously. Take some time for yourself. Go for some long walks and sort out your feelings. Write them out, if it helps. Get your head on straight and find some guys you can hang out with and create a group of male friends. Take the lead in this group. You'll find your spine again by doing these things, and the way forward will become clear to you.
/r/askMRP20/04/16 01:48 PM
2

I second this. Make it clear that you are not upset or angry if she chooses to stay longer; that you need the downtime and will relax at home and look forward to spending time with her when she comes home. That is not unreasonable at all.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 08:20 PM
2

Do you really want to live with that kind of second-guessing? What kind of value is she providing to you? What do you want?
/r/askTRP18/04/16 01:37 PM
2

I had a similar experience. Always felt like I was being bitched at. I was the sole financial earner. Took a long, hard look at myself (not her) and realized I wasn't leading. I had a covert contract -- I'd work and support us, in return I thought I got a free ride at home. Then was pissed when she was in a bad mood and no sex. Began taking simple steps like doing dishes, folding laundry, bathing kids, etc. Basically, I asked myself, if I was here by myself, would I do it? If so, then I'd do it …
/r/askMRP15/04/16 05:01 PM
1

I'm new and learning, too, but I've begun a combination of STFU and actually reflecting on whether I am pulling my weight or not. If I come home and the sink is full of dishes, unfolded laundry is all over the place, the kids are running wild, and the house is trashed, I do not view those things as my immediate responsibility. But questions can be asked: Did I set expectations? How can I chip in? Sometimes, in righting the ship, you will need to shoulder the heavy burden while setting expectatio…
/r/askMRP15/04/16 04:53 PM
3

It's a ridiculous question, but you're feeling disrespected at home. You don't think she's pulling her weight. The way you "remind" her of this is to make sure that your own shit is taken care of, without talking about it, without running her down, without being passive agressive about it, and without engaging in covert contracts. You do what you do. You do what needs done. Like a man.
/r/askMRP15/04/16 12:46 PM
1

What is the low-reward lifestyle? And thanks for the tip on the book and the doctor.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/16 07:11 PM
1

I don't remember exactly. I was doing some reading online about being a better man and somehow I ended up in the NMMNG forums, which led me down the rabbit trail to where I am now.
/r/askMRP14/04/16 06:47 PM
1

For me, it was NMMNG. Looking up more about that led me to MMSLP, then to /r/RP, then ultimately to /r/MRP.
/r/askMRP14/04/16 02:31 PM
3

This is a good start. You also need to read Married Man Sex Life Primer, asap. I'd suggest even before NMMNG. Read the Professor's 12 Stages of Dread post, too, and begin that program, with the emphasis on taking it slow. This won't change overnight for you. Be prepared for the long haul, but this is about you.
/r/askMRP14/04/16 01:35 PM
1

I have an old man regularly tell me, when asked how he is, "I can't complain...it won't do any good." It's a stupid joke he uses to avoid going beneath the surface, but it's right -- ongoing complaining makes us the victim and doesn't really address the problem. Complaining as a way of nailing down a problem is one thing; making a plan to address it is another. (I speak from experience as one who complains more than his fair share instead of setting about to solve problems.) I know it sucks, but…
/r/askMRP12/04/16 01:35 PM
2

You should make this its own post. Excellent.
/r/askMRP12/04/16 01:31 PM
1

Apparently nothing, since he deleted it. What a waste.
/r/askMRP12/04/16 01:25 PM
7

How do you know she views you as Chad and not an orbiter? What differentiates that for you?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 12:33 AM
1

Been doing this off-and-on for many years and can confirm it is very useful for concentration and working through problems. I will also, when I need to work something out, take a long walk (at least an hour), with no headphones, music or anything, and think through the problem.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/16 07:42 PM
2

I don't think his SMV increased as much as he began acting out of character. He was embarrassing himself, trying to be "alpha" while still wearing his pajamas and his party hat.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/16 02:04 PM
1

If this is real, sounds like this guy thought he was using dread by manipulating her to look into his account to read what he wrote. That his digital comments to his supposed friend would "dread" her into coming around. He's a joke.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/16 02:02 PM
1

/r/fanfiction
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/16 01:53 PM
2

It's more of a soft introduction to stoicism. It's not a typical US self help book.
/r/TheRedPill11/04/16 01:44 PM
1

Thanks for the link. I'm going to download it and read it.
/r/askMRP10/04/16 07:11 PM
1

No need to tell us you're a rookie in many things yet. That was a solid comment about anger; I'm definitely going to write it down and think about it. That's been my problem -- fly off the handle instead of staying calm. I think mindful meditation could really help me. Thanks for the tip!
/r/askMRP10/04/16 12:07 PM
1

Printing this out. You reminded me to go back to the basics. I'm going to reread the pre-reqs.
/r/askMRP09/04/16 10:15 PM
1

Thanks, SPT. You're right, there is room in the budget, I just need to pull the trigger. Like I said, excuses. Have to get out of my own head.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/16 04:58 PM
1

Good point. I do bodyweight exercises at home, You Are Your Own Gym stuff. My excuses for lifting are: 1) Cost (our budget is tight, but I could fit this in); 2) not dealing with shit from my wife about why I'm going to a gym (though she could use the dread); and 3) Fear (I've never been to a gym and don't know what to expect when I go in, proper form, routine, etc. I know that's a pussy reason, just trying to get over it.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/16 12:43 PM
2

Actually, the conclusion I reached while typing was that I don't need another child; why do I need to keep her around? She'd be happy to sit back and let me do everything. I'm in the anger phase after thinking I had left it behind, but I don't see the value right now. /u/UEMcGill 's post about nexting the LTR really spoke to me.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 08:08 PM
1

I realized the answer as I was typing the post and left the whole thing intact to try to demonstrate a chain of thinking.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 03:19 PM
2

Why not call the bank yourself? Don't ask her to do something like you're walking on eggshells.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 02:32 PM
2

Yeah. I used to thank her, a largely SAHM, for doing the dishes. I quit doing that. She will, however, thank me for doing the dishes, though I do them daily. Reframe it in terms of a contribution to the household. You do yours, she does hers.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 02:28 PM
2

How do you enforce a boundary on this, though? Seriously. If his wife won't keep the house up, what can he do, short of throwing everything out or doing all the work himself? For me, and my wife sounds similar to his, I've considered what I would do to keep my house running and clean, and I do those things. I know that she thinks that somehow she deserves (and expects) this extra help from me; I'm doing it because it needs to be done. But even after all that, she makes no movement towards foldin…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 02:26 PM
3

Excuses.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/16 07:17 PM
2

It is obvious, though difficult, to parent someone whom you should be parenting with. For me, the most difficult aspect of leading my wife is getting on the same page with parenting.
/r/askMRP05/04/16 02:40 PM
3

True. Most of my battles at home center around how to discipline the kids, including parenting her.
/r/askMRP05/04/16 01:54 PM
1

This week I'm working on anger and awareness (mindfulness). I've realized over the last month or so how much I absolutely hate my wife and blame her for my (and our) problems. I thought I was doing a lot better, taking responsibility and working to fix me. I can't talk to her or even look at her without feeling contempt and anger. I know that I need to take a good, long, hard look into myself. My happiness comes from me, not her. I need to let go of anger and focus on improving myself. As far as…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/16 01:53 PM
3

This doesn't sound like a parenting problem as much as a problem with your wife. From your description, she is in denial about 7. If she is SAH, 7 is probably getting away with a lot more than you know. Like /u/[deleted] said, you are being undermined. You need to fix that.
/r/askMRP05/04/16 01:22 PM
3

"No-Drama Discipline" by Siegel and Bryson was okay. This isn't their point at all, but my takeaway was that I become a better parent by becoming a better person. My failures as a parent are because I'm not aware enough of what is going on, not mindful, because I'm focused on my own thoughts and what I'm doing. At this point, the kids become an interruption and I snap and discipline them without and consistency. tl;dr I'm trying to become more mindful at home to give the kids my attention.
/r/askMRP05/04/16 01:17 PM
2

Reminders are good. I spend most of my time thinking about career and leading my family at home. I'm thinking about mindset at home, and what shit needs to be done, not what I'm wearing. This sometimes means that I'm in my pajama pants early because I didn't give thought to being attractive. It's got to go. Last night, we were up late watching a program on TV. She was in her pajamas; I kept wearing my jeans and a nice shirt she likes. It was noticed. Thanks for the reminder, /u/boesman12.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/16 01:06 PM
3

EXCELLENT post, and great comment here. Part of the stoic frame many here aspire to is realizing that, despite any self-improvement I make, I can only control myself, not another. She may never change; I can only control my response to that. Which is why I do it for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/16 12:38 PM
2

The Hays translation is the most recommended. It is very readable.
/r/askTRP02/04/16 11:10 PM
1

It's stream of consciousness, usually around a problem I'm working on. One thing leads to another. For example, suppose I'm pissed off at my wife for something she did. I'll begin by writing about what happened and my anger about it, but I'll use the writing to turn me towards a solution -- how did I fail to own the thing that became a problem? How could I have acted differently? Etc. This is just what works for me.
/r/askMRP31/03/16 01:42 PM
1

Great book that could definitely help OP.
/r/askMRP30/03/16 01:51 PM
1

There is a book called Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns that teaches a way of using self-talk to help you use logic to get behind the bullshit of your self-sabotaging thoughts. This may sound stupid to some, but I journal my thoughts, because the process of writing things out helps me process my thinking and move in a more rational, logical direction. I do this especially when I'm stuck on some kind of self-sabotage.
/r/askMRP30/03/16 01:50 PM
1

Thanks. I use JADE too often and become jaded when I should STFU and make a plan.
/r/askMRP28/03/16 08:25 PM
1

JADE?
/r/askMRP28/03/16 07:50 PM
2

This was excellent. At my church, whenever gender and family roles are brought up, after the requisite vomit-inducing comments by the overbearing matriarchs of the church about how "submissive" they are (by ridiculing their husbands in front of the whole class), a more sensible comment is made by one of the more thoughtful women/wives. The comment is some variation of: What woman wouldn't submit to a husband who loved her like Christ loved the church? I don't like this comment because I think it…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/16 07:48 PM
2

Why would you use A&A in the middle of the night when she needs to change your baby's diaper?
/r/askMRP27/03/16 01:31 PM
2

Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/16 12:40 PM
1

Congrats on rebuilding after the doxxing. Do you have any posts about starting the RP Christian group? I'd like to do the same, but wouldn't know how to start. Feel free to PM me, or post here.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/16 08:33 PM
3

This came off far more philosophical then what I intended. So what? I enjoyed it. I find these kinds of posts, as well as the OYS posts, to be most helpful for me. I've had a rough few weeks after noticing some improvement and self-reflective posts such as these help me rethink and get back into my plan.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 01:23 PM
1

Have you read the sidebar books? NMMNG and MMSL will definitely help you with both of your comments.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 02:26 PM
1

Obstacle Is the Way is an excellent book by an author who is well-versed in Stoicism. It serves as almost a guide to stoicism.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 02:23 PM
1

Great article. Men should not underestimate the importance of good speech patterns and habits as demonstrable of control over oneself. As someone who speaks for a living, I cannot tell you how common this is, along with lip smacking, which comes across as disgusting.
/r/TheRedPill14/03/16 01:19 PM
1

You're going to have to learn to step out of your comfort zone and initiate the small talk/conversation. This is where HTWFAIP is excellent. Focus on the other person, ask them how or what they are doing. Use open-ended questions so you can keep the conversation flowing. QBQ by John Miller is another book you might look at. Keep practicing.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/16 03:28 PM
1

Yahoo! Sports is pretty good. The home page has links to articles about the top stories in each sport. The sidebar has links to each sport that will go into more depth. The suggestion to pick a team is a good one. Most often this would include your "home" team, or the team that is followed by the people you are trying to connect with. Also, listen to them when they are talking about sports. Pay attention to the athletes, games and plays they are talking about. At home, you can look up videos abo…
/r/askTRP04/03/16 01:52 PM
1

I like that. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/16 01:13 AM
2

Bad couple of weeks. I've been sick with a sinus cold/head congestion that wouldn't let go. Made excuses and dropped the ball on family leadership, now paying for it with increased lack of respect from the wife when things had settled in for a good while previously. I'm finally starting to feel better and hope to get back on track. Despite the setback, I managed to stay on point with our finances, our basement project (almost completed; will be by this weekend) and, believe it or not, with sex. …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/16 04:07 PM
4

Great answers here. I was going to say much of the same. Get the kids out outside; take them for a walk; take them grocery shopping. (I do all of these things.) Play games with them at home; teach them how to do chores (my son loves to shovel snow and rake leaves; he's only a toddler and I expect this to change but I'm enjoying it while it lasts). As stated above, make sure you help your wife get a break, and make sure you get one, too. But it's not that hard to include your kids in what you alr…
/r/askMRP27/02/16 09:31 PM
5

This is a great reply. Especially this: My SMV had plummeted and whether I was with her or some other chick I would have still been a fat squishy beta loser who needed a kick in the ass so my balls would finally drop. I wasn't worthy of her or a new chick. I came here to post that I identified with OP but you kicked my ass. It's my fault. I'd be bored anywhere, with anyone, because ... I'm BORING. It's up to me to change. Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/16 01:54 PM
1

Understood. Sounds like you are on the right path, just stay focused on making yourself happy.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/16 09:55 PM
1

Hang in there. Sounds like you are on the right track with the trifecta of lifting, diet and working to improve your work situation. Do you have a household budget? Is there room in there to cut some things to create a little more disposable income that might help you feel like you have some breathing room?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/16 02:05 PM
1

Great! Thank you. Are the instaread books available at Amazon? I'm going to look into those; I have a "to read" stack that is taller than my house. Edit: Answered my own question. Yes, Instaread books are available at Amazon.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/16 02:01 PM
2

Thanks for the advice, will definitely take it.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 05:17 PM
2

Good job on the finances. That shit is hard to look at in the beginning, but very satisfying when you begin to get a handle on it. About your failed test: Is it possible to disable the door chime before you leave so it wouldn't go off at all? Are there any reasons why you couldn't do that?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 04:37 PM
1

I really enjoy reading your OYS posts. Challenging and motivating at the same time. What's an "instaread book"?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 04:35 PM
3

After posting late last week, I got sick, so I've been off on some things. Overall, I'm happy with the development and progression of my MAP, but lots of work to do still. The deeper I get into this, I realize how far back I really am. Shit I'm Owning Sex. Still continuing to get all the sex I want. BJs are getting better and longer. Still working towards BJTC and anal but not sure how to approach it. She lets me lead in bed. One thing I'm having to work through is getting her to take ownership …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 02:33 PM
1

Late this week. Part of that is not owning a problem, which I'll detail below. Overall, from Tue-Tue, I owned my shit pretty well. But it began to fall apart on Tue and since then have not owned my shit well. Shit I'm Owning Diet. Continuing to eat better. I buy lots of vegetables at the grocery store and am cooking, when possible. The wife has been encouraged to cook more, too. We ate out only once last week and it was a "date night" out. On the flip side, we get the date night because our kids…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/16 03:47 PM
2

Great post, man, and congratulations on kicking the smoking habit! Bravo to you for posting a change to a plant-based way of eating as a positive thing. I'm with you on that one, and your post has motivated me to consider some of the things I need to change.
/r/TheRedPill13/02/16 01:08 PM
1

That's exactly where I'm at. Working off a budget with a plan to get debt resolved. Then we'll be in a much better position. Good luck to you!
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/16 09:34 PM
1

Debt sucks. I did some stupid stuff and landed us in debt and am taking responsibility to dig out of it. One big key for this was to create a budget. Do you have one? Is it operational? Are you sticking to it?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/16 01:24 AM
2

Good choices on books. I like to balance a good nonfiction book with something from the sidebar.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/16 01:21 AM
1

Was going to suggest the same thing. How about a light grab instead of a slap?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 01:22 PM
2

I've been watching an episode or two a night of Everybody Loves Raymond for the last months or so with my wife. It's unbelievable how Blue Pill Raymond is.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/16 07:18 PM
2

I will. I skimmed through the rest of it and it looks ok, but I'm not sure yet how much depth there is, relative to WISNIFG. I'll update.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/16 11:11 PM
2

Good question. I haven't read WISNIFG yet so I can't answer it. I found this one on my shelves, knowing I was learning about assertiveness, and found the tool helpful so I thought I'd share it. My plan is to start WISNIFG this weekend.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/16 10:56 PM
1

I skimmed through the rest of the book. It looked ok, but I think for anyone tuned in to the discussion here, along with the tool, nothing new is added.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/16 10:55 PM
1

Thank you! Always trying to learn and do.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/16 04:06 PM
1

Really good post. Is growing confidence equated or correlated with growing experience? Is it possible to have a high confidence (or understanding) but struggle with the implementation (experience)? For example, suppose I know I need to practice kino on my wife throughout the day and I know that when I do, she responds well to it. But my experience may be low -- and I struggle with situational awareness to know when to do this, and the best way to do it. This is hypothetical; any number of exampl…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/16 03:12 PM
2

I'm paying attention to this thread because I'm in the same boat you are. Beta career, limiting degree. Looking for options. Trying to own my shit and not keep going along like it's not my fault I'm in this position.
/r/askMRP03/02/16 09:48 PM
1

I don't know what kind of work you do, but if it is knowledge-based work, read Deep Work (by Cal Newport). He provides a number of strategies to stay focused on work and avoid distraction. For motivation, print out inspirational and motivational quotes in large fonts and post them on a bulletin board in front of you, or where you can look at it easily.
/r/askMRP03/02/16 05:46 PM
1

So frame is a matter of deciding what I want, why I want it, and then doing it? I tend to overcomplicate things. The simplicity of what you wrote is very helpful. And I can see how communication is multi-layered. But the communication of expectations definitely would have made a difference in my example. I think if I had made known what my expectations were for my day, she would have at least approached me by asking if I could help her out by taking our daughter to daycare. Then I could have dec…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/16 12:54 PM
1

Read this post on mental models by /u/[deleted]. Very good. I come from a religious background, too. Lots of focus on guilt and shame. Those influences and models run deep and cloud the waters. That post will help you think about what it is that you really want.
/r/askMRP03/02/16 12:46 PM
1

So I read these, and I'm trying to digest them. I think, if I follow them right, part of my problem is a) not knowing why I want/want to do a particular thing; and b) not communicating expectations. In my example about letting her decide for me about the daughter and daycare, I was not committed to my idea about getting into some work, and I had not communicated my expectations that my work day had started. This is challenging. The articles definitely helped. For me, they identified that I have …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 09:55 PM
1

It's a situation where she kind of did request it, but the expectation/demand was behind it and I played into her demand. I've looked and looked and cannot find the links you sent me. If you can resend, I will get on it and follow up by tomorrow at the latest.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 07:41 PM
1

That's a good point. The thing that really pissed me off was the expectation. She wasn't ready, hadn't bothered to get ready, wasn't going to get ready, it was just expected I would take her.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 05:20 PM
2

Shit I'm Owning Diet. Fast food less last week than the week before. I cooked two meals over the weekend that left plenty of leftovers for lunches and dinners into this week. Wife has been communicated to that we need to eat better as a family, she is on board and has stepped up her cooking as well. Finances. Budget in place, began on 2/1. Of course, major vehicle repairs are needed, but we have a small emergency fund to pay for that. Debt is being repaid with a plan in place to pay it off. Sex.…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 04:15 PM
2

Been enjoying following your progress. It's motivating me to get in gear, too.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 03:50 PM
2

I've got some thinking to do. Awesome. I lurked for a long while before I created an account to post. I learned a lot from these guys, especially the idea that what I do, I do for me. Not for her.
/r/askMRP02/02/16 03:25 PM
3

From a new guy, I think you're operating out of a "covert contract" (NMMNG). You're jacked and awesome, others are noticing, she does too, so the sex should come flowing your way. But it didn't, so you got pissed, wasted a bunch of time and energy on low-value activities instead of high-value activities, then found out you could have had your way. You let her frame determine your reaction. AWALT, and watch what she does, not what she says.
/r/askMRP02/02/16 03:24 PM
1

I've pulled back from delegating and am handling things myself for now (for the most part). This is because I don't trust her to handle things, and I want her to see a process for getting things done in an orderly way. Just last night she thanked me for being a "good example" to her and for motivating her to tackle her own shit. I didn't do anything other than bring some order to the household by way of getting shit done.
/r/askMRP02/02/16 02:45 PM
2

I see. I misunderstood the sentence. Follow the advice the rest of these guys are giving you -- focus on making yourself happy and she will either get with the program or she won't, but you'll be better off either way.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 02:43 PM
1

Next time she says im nagging i want to bring all this shit up about all the shit she asked me to do, which i did, and sex is the same. They say STFU all the time around here. While I was dipping my toe in the water, beginning to read the sidebar materials, trying to make some changes, I began doing shit around the house. This is stuff I just never did before. And not big things, either -- dishes needed done? I just did them. One of the kids broke a toy? Glued it back together. Work needed done …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 01:09 PM
1

You don't. But you're reacting to her posts and what you think she thinks about men. You're taking it personally, is what I should have written instead of "internalizing" it. Read No More Mr Nice Guy and see if it resonates. Didn't mean to be offensive or blowing you off, dude.
/r/askMRP01/02/16 10:09 PM
1

This is it. It doesn't matter what she thinks or doesn't think about men; he's internalizing it to reflect how she thinks about him. I'd start with No More Mr Nice Guy. And do the activities.
/r/askMRP01/02/16 08:10 PM
1

I appreciate it. I don't see the comment here.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/16 07:21 PM
1

I'd really like the help and will read whatever resources you suggest.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/16 04:30 PM
1

This is excellent. Exactly what I need to hear. Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/16 01:17 PM
1

That's where I'm at -- working on Controlled Anger instead of Emotional Anger. I'm slowly improving.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/16 01:16 PM
1

True. I need to read it. I've had trouble asserting myself and still find myself doing things or giving in to her because I don't want the bitching and complaining or BS.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/16 01:15 PM
1

I've read the sidebar article in TRP, along with the couple recent articles here in MRP on frame. I'm also slowly working my way through Epictetus' Enchiridion, trying to learn about how I can only control myself. Tbh, frame is something I still really struggle with--to understand and to apply. [Edit: It was Rollo's article on Frame, not the sidebar on TRP. Also, this one on MRP I've read a few times, along with the more recent ones.] My gameplan for improving frame is to remind myself each morn…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/16 01:14 PM
1

Not doing what?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/16 01:47 PM
1

Great post about assumptions and deep stories. I've been thinking about where I'm going with all this. I'm getting as much sex as I want right now (not as kinky as I want, but as much as I want, with BJs), but I know I'm nowhere near where I want to be as a masculine man. So the post is really helping me think through my goals, what assumptions I have, and where I want to end up. I began the journey thinking that when the sex came, everything else would fall in place, and it was probably somewha…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/16 01:39 PM
1

I really struggled with it, too. I haven't finished it yet. Yet, the guys on here keep referencing it and I'm going to set it as a goal to read it in February.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/16 01:21 PM
1

The problem leaving the house always creates for the wife is that she doesn't see a reason why I need to leave Now that problem would be 100% her problem. Don't be afraid of her or what she thinks. That's so true. I don't know why I didn't see that before. You're right--it's fear of the constant nagging or complaining that holds me in.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/16 01:57 PM
3

Some guys prefer listening to audio books, either while commuting or at home. I'm with you -- I'd always take a book over an audio.
/r/askMRP28/01/16 09:44 PM
2

The Resistance is great. It really does separate the RPers from the BPers. Instead of Diplomacy, I like a shorter game called Intrigue.
/r/TheRedPill28/01/16 09:43 PM
2

Thanks for the reply. Really appreciate it. I live in a very small town; however, there is a library and I could go there, as you suggested. The problem leaving the house always creates for the wife is that she doesn't see a reason why I need to leave. In her mind, if I can work at the library I can work at home. She'll make sure to try to engage me in an argument about it later. She sees it as I am not there for the family because I would "rather" send our daughter to daycare than stay home wit…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/16 03:03 PM
1

Thanks for the advice. I need to learn to STFU more and stick to the MAP, like you suggested.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/16 02:28 PM
1

Fix it. Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 06:38 PM
1

Mainly just getting tired of the wife's nitpicks. She'll know I've had a long, maybe have a headache, and she'll ask me a stupid question like, "Why didn't you reply to my text earlier today?" Or her complete lack of logic. Basic AWALT stuff. Sometimes with the kids, it's if they are running around being loud, and I've asked several times for them to be quiet, I will sometimes snap and yell at them. This is shitty leadership, and I'm working on it, but looking for help in not blowing up. Also no…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 06:13 PM
1

Do you do anything else for the anger? I struggle with this. Something will set me off and I'll explode. I'm fine after I blow up but I don't like doing it and it is definitely not leading well.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 04:53 PM
1

Great advice. Thanks again!
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 04:12 PM
1

Awesome advice. Thank you. Definitely what I needed to hear about frame. Technically, I'm not a SAHD, I'm a WAHD. But it's the same to her. No reason why I can't run out, in her mind, to pick up a few things for her, or watch the kids instead of sending them to daycare. On the days when I'm out meeting with people, these expectations are gone. So I like your idea of scheduling time out of the house.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 03:30 PM
1

Similar situation to what I posted last week. Shit I'm Owning I'm working hard to establish a frame. This has been more difficult than I thought it would be, but I have resisted being drawn into stupid arguments a couple times this week. Each night I have helped her talk through her logistics for the next day. Family. I have spent adequate time with the kids. Each night I make sure my son spends time on his homework and we almost always read together before bed (both kids). Diet. We ate out less…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 02:42 PM
3

The Hays translation is generally considered the best for reading. r/stoicism regularly suggests this one when asked.
/r/askTRP25/01/16 01:32 PM
1

if your wife isn't pulling her weight then fix it She isn't pulling her weight, but I'm working on fixing it. But the first step was for me to make sure I was pulling my own weight.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/16 02:51 PM
1

I've seen this comment about being the source of strength to your family thrown around this sub quite a bit lately. I wrote it down a few weeks ago and refer to it often as a reminder for myself. I'm coming out of my drunk captaincy, but a hallmark of that would be spending evenings doing what I wanted and giving minimal attention to the kids and wife. I'd try to unwind with a book while the kids wanted to play, leave bathtime and dinner cleanup to the wife while I "worked" on my computer, and t…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/16 01:18 PM
1

This is what I needed to hear. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/16 08:36 PM
1

I read that post and didn't follow through. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/16 07:51 PM
1

You're right to both. Thanks for calling out my crap, especially on the second point about lifting.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/16 06:34 PM
3

I'll go first. First time posting in a OYS thread, too. Shit I'm owning I'm taking responsibility for being a weak-ass drunk captain for the last several years. It was never an "alpha-to-beta" transformation for me as I was never really much of an "alpha" but I did have my stuff together a lot better than I did. Got caught up in "women's equality" ideas about a dozen years ago and it created problems in the marriage that I am now digging out of. I allowed the finances to become untenable and am …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/16 01:29 PM
1

I still deal with this in some regards. I'm improving my frame and my ability to detect and pass shit tests but I still find myself DEERing before I know it. Yesterday, I worked hard to pass a couple shit tests. In the evening, we watch a couple of shows and give each other a massage. She showered and then told me the oil was still in the bathroom. I had been reading on the couch while she had just come out of the bathroom. I asked her why she didn't bring it out and she said something like, "Oh…
/r/askMRP19/01/16 01:14 PM
1

Sounds like it may be a comfort test but impossible to tell without any context, as mentioned. OP's response to a comment below indicates he is looking for gimmicks instead of internalizing this stuff.
/r/askMRP18/01/16 12:54 PM
1

Someone posted about this book in MRP and I picked it up afterwards. I've barely begun but it's already helped me with my kids.
/r/askMRP14/01/16 01:09 PM
2

I do that kind of block-scheduling, too. It really works for me. I keep lists, things of what needs to be done at home, getting kids' homework done, etc. Block-scheduling helps me get my work done so I can be focused at home for the family at night. Inspirational post.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/16 02:30 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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