This seems like the next step, so here goes...

Background: Late 30s. One son, wife currently pregnant with another. Married for 12 years. Grew up with overbearing critical mother and hard core beta dad and older brother. But I always felt wrong acting that way. I totally relate to the matrix analogy... Morpheus says "there's something wrong with the world, you don't know what it is, but it's there like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad." I didn't know how to be alpha, but lived an ok life alternating between beta chump and angry asshole whiner. Other than food and shelter, I basically raised myself as neither parent taught me much about life. Good of the situation is that I gained a narcissistic and inflated view of myself based on mom's persona, TV and rock/metal. Bad is that I am terrible at reading people and personal relationships. I always did well at school and ok at sports so kept out of the omega league. Most relationships had some cap'n save-a-ho. Met my wife about 14 years ago. Usual story of it being great at the beginning, but slowly fading with loss of sexual energy between us. I had tried so many things... direct talk to her, yelling at her, counselors for me, medications for me, Mars and Venus book, etc. About a year ago after some argument I basically gave up. I thought "well, this is how life goes, shitty wife, great kids, I'll just focus on work and me." Found RP about 6 months ago after googling "why won't my wife stop complaining?" Shit blew my mind. Rational Male was my lifeline. Thanks to everyone.

Frame: Biggest help to my sanity has been STFU and OI. I always thought I could logic everything even with my wife and it made me crazy that it didn't work. It would also inflame her. Shutting my mouth has been huge. I've learned to ignore her when she's talking about things I'm not interested in without making it obvious that I'm not interested. That used to piss her off. I recently posted on AskMRP about being bored with her conversation. I got some good advice and have been working on steering the conversation into things I am interested in. More recently I've been using cocky/funny. I'm not great with agree and amplify as I have a huge problem with lying and agreeing to anything that is negative towards me. Most beneficial thing I have developed is the zen feeling that I am in control. Regardless of what she says, does etc. I am in control and I want to be in control. That feeling is amazing when it is there. I got a lot of shit tests when I started this. She saw me reading NMMNG and asked "why are you reading that? You're not a nice guy." I just smiled, but inside I was so fucking angry that she did not know me. Now I understand. I also understand that there would have been no point in discussing it. Biggest problem with frame is when I'm tired. I just want her to shut up sometimes, but haven't figured out the best way to achieve that.

Social: This aspect of RP has been huge. I basically had 1 friend a year ago. Now I have connected with a co-worker, gotten back into playing with a band, am one of the driving forces behind a monthly guys night and am more active about hanging out with my one long term buddy. This is still a work in progress as I don't feel truly close to many guys, but I see the need to improve this and am trying.

Sex: Sex was regular but bland before the pregnancy, but dropped off to almost nothing during. She's always too tired or sick now. A huge step came for me awhile back. She had been feeling better so I made a move, she was willing but very fucking lacksidasical. Half hearted hand job while I'm trying to get her in the mood for more. I stop once and call her out on it. She plays dumb, so I start up again with no better results. So I stop. Put my underwear back on, turn out the light. She asks what's wrong, I say I don't want to have sex with someone who's not interested. Roll over, go to sleep. Since then she's been nice and deferential to me. More recently she's felt better and has even initiated a few times. Although, I don't expect the sex to improve quickly as she is wiped out by the pregnancy and often sleeps 12 hours a day after working and going to school.

Lift: I've worked out on and off throughout my life. My routine would be 3 months lifting, get bored, 6 months nothing, then repeat. I've been lifting for about 10 months straight now. SL 5x5 has been my jam for last 5 months. I'm tall and skinny but have put on 20lbs in 6 months. Eating all day long is annoying as fuck, but needed. Reached a huge goal recently when I DL my bodyweight. Next goals are BP and SQ body weight. I'm about 3/4 of the way there on both. Initially I got shit about going to the gym so much (only 3x per week!). But I powered through and let wife know that this was the new norm. Shit tests have stopped, she now expects and plans around my gym sessions and she has recently been commenting about how much she likes the new muscles.

Work and Finances: Never been an issue. I'm in a field where the heavy work is behind me, now I'm at a point where it's just me and my customers. They love me so I make very good money. No boss or other BS to deal with. We are financially secure and I manage all the finances. I have always lead here and she has followed.

Clothing: I grew up in the grunge era, so I look like shit. I have been slowly updating my attire. Work in progress.

Summary: I'm probably around dread level 5-6, however definitely don't have all elements down. Wife has responded. I think I have it easy as she grew up with a dominant father and submissive mother and mostly approves of their relationship. her favorite fictional character is Bond. I used to think I could never compare to that. Now I know I can. Biggest challenge si going to be keeping this up with the stress and sleeplessness of a new baby. As a final thought...the other day one of the mothers at our son's school told us she was getting a divorce... cue clinging, "I love you" and sex. I wish I had know all this earlier.

Shred away.