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Classic_Dill Archive

View 3 posts and 2,229 comments by Classic_Dill on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Sooooooo, there is absolutely no way on earth, I would allow any of my family or friends, call me cheap after a divorce, with all due respect? Those family members and friends would be cut out of my life permanently. I didn’t have to deal with that actually, here’s how you get out more. You don’t necessarily have to go on dates, go for a walk at night, instead of going to big box stores, go to small hardware stores, go to the grocery store more often, go to the pharmacy more often, get out there…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 10:55 PM
2

That’s my point, I’m into the base spiritual stuff, just like any tribal people would be, but you can tell that many of these women just fill in the blanks with their own thoughts and theories, and then make you miserable. I remember talking to a woman on the phone just vetting her before I even made a date with her, and she literally Was talking for 10 minutes. I never said a word and she started getting herself angry and started yelling at me! I never even said anything, she wasn’t sure her sp…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 04:09 PM
1

With all due respect, I absolutely do not agree with the no Mom‘s thing. I think it’s one of the silliest things I’ve ever heard in my entire life, please tell me that you’re new to divorce or new to dating and that you read some silly thing on some alpha male/red pill podcast or something? Listen, if you’re gonna date women over 35 years old? They all have kids! The majority of women have children. There’s nothing wrong with dating a woman who has children, let me ask you this question. Are you…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 03:58 PM
1

I believe that’s true. I had an ex customer of mine that after my divorce, I asked her out on a date, because I could tell we always had at least some sort of connection, but she was spiritual, and I was OK with that, as long as it involved spiritualism sane,natural and a little bit of cannabis use, but I ended up having to block her after four months, I couldn’t stand anymore of her ridiculous, spiritual bullshit! Which I suppose we call New Age? When you can’t have sex on a certain day because…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 03:53 PM
5

I honestly feel like you never got through the acceptance phase of healing, I think you’re healing has been paused for that reason. You can’t go through the phases unless you go through the phases. You have to understand that you never really knew this woman, she’s not who she pretended to be, you got duped like a lot of us. I promise you she’s going to suffer in the end, obviously she makes nuclear decisions, who gets pregnant while they’re married? Anger is not always a bad thing, it’s helped …
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 01:19 PM
1

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I was ready to walk out as soon as I found out back in 2019, the problem was, I was really struggling with looking at my three kids and telling them that the show is over and that they’re going to have to split residencies, I was just really struggling with it. Her and I stopped having sex, stop talking to each other, I had a large house at that point, and I actually moved to an entire different room on a different floor and didn’t even speak to her for four months, if it…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 06:18 PM
1

Oddly enough, I think after I heard about my wife’s infidelity? I still stayed married for two years because I was sort of shocked and sitting in neutral, so I suppose it took me only two years to get through the acceptance phase, but once I was over the acceptance phase? I turned into a cold and heartless SOB towards her, no fighting, no screaming, it was either my way or the highway, I did not compromise during the divorce at all, and I actually ended up with almost everything in the house! Th…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 10:17 PM
1

I’m actually coming up on four years myself, I went to Psychiatrist on it off for two years back before the marriage dissolved. When I found out she was cheating, mental health and psychiatry is so important, I wish more people went, it always helped me be able to compartmentalize things and have a better understanding of things. People have to accept. It’s gonna be a tough road after divorce, men, especially have a much harder time after divorce than women do, those are facts! Men are eight tim…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 03:15 PM
2

People will tell you that you didn’t waste those 27 years, but I promise you, we wasted those 27 years! Those are just the facts, all you can do is start from today and build yourself into the man you’ve always wanted to be, I’ve been at it now for four years and I like the person I am today. I’m basically the person I was before I got married just older and more experience. But make no bones about it, it was almost a 30 year waste of time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 08:54 PM
2

Wow!
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 08:33 PM
6

If you feel bad for her, it’s a clear indication that you’re not over the marriage and not over her yet. I was also cheated on after 27 years, she probably had a couple more affairs before that I assume from what I’ve heard. With all due respect, may I suggest a psychiatrist? You need to sort of start working on self-respect and self-worth, because if it was at a higher level, you wouldn’t feel this way currently. She decided to cheat on you, she decided to break her marriage files, she decided …
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 08:33 PM
4

Well, let’s take a look, first things first, no matter what you’ve heard, money isn’t everything to a female, enough money to pay your bills and not be a bum is acceptable the most women. Secondly, Tom Brady went back to the NFL after he told his entire family that he was gonna retire and she probably thought well. She finally gets her husband back. They get to spend their time together, and it was probably a test of what was more important, his family or football. And I think we all know what c…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 02:15 AM
2

It gets a little bit easier, but do yourself a favor, when you feel that way, and she notices it, she may tell the kids or even tell you directly that you must not be over her or you wouldn’t feel this way, please don’t buy into that bullshit Divorces are a traumatic event, and it’s something you need to heal past or at least learn to cope with, it never really truly leaves you, that scar is always there, but inevitably it ends up becoming indifferent, you just become indifferent to the past tra…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 06:53 PM
1

The reason I knew her age, is because women in their 40s can be an incredible thing. Actually, they start to feel better in their own skin, they start to accept who they are and they can be a great time! I’m 54 and I almost exclusively date women in their 40s, however! The problem is, this is the time of change and if they don’t handle it correctly, they end up cheating or at least going through a midlife crisis, this is not rare for a woman in her 40s unfortunately. But the ones who don’t have …
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 08:26 PM
2

You didn’t say age, so let me guess how old your wife is. Is she in her 40s? Maybe her early to mid 40s? She’s putting herself back on the shelf, that’s why she got herself in shape, she knew that she was leaving and she wanted to look good going back on the market. I actually did the same thing at the same time I asked for a separation, built my wardrobe, back up, went to the gym and lost about 20 pounds And started to really get myself back into a singular mindset. I’m not saying this is true,…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 06:52 PM
2

You get through the acceptance phase of healing, you’re not there.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 01:31 PM
2

Here’s the problem, of course she’s accountable for getting pregnant, she wanted to get pregnant! He didn’t really want her to get pregnant, he did it because he thought it was a trade-off! When did we start treating children like baseball cards? So he basically got her pregnant, knowing well that he didn’t want to be a father and he didn’t want her to be pregnant, but he did it as a consolation prize for her moving to the country. He is now in. You can’t be serious, right? This guy sounds like …
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 02:21 AM
6

I’m not saying that you’re wrong with your theory, but here’s the problem. He hast to take responsibility and accountability as well, he got her pregnant! He knew the marriage wasn’t good and he knew it probably wasn’t gonna stay good, why would you roll the dice on pregnancy when you had all of that information? This is on him just as much for making a stupid Choice in his marriage. That your responsibility knife has to cut both directions.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 02:03 AM
1

That’s called getting out of the BUBBLE my friend! It took two years and my mother of all people, to take a sharp needle and bust my bubble, once you’re outside that bubble, you can see clearly. Welcome to the outside! You’ll be looking back with regret for a while, just learn from it and carry-on.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 10:22 PM
2

Sorry for the mess, but you’re not alone. Lots of divorced people out here. You’re welcome.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 09:30 PM
5

My ex was always, unfortunately a toxic and manipulative troll, but she definitely had a midlife crisis! I’ve seen them before and I know what they look like, those things can last up to five years! So just about the time she’s hitting menopause, lol But since she was a terrible person before the midlife crisis, I divorced her immediately after 27 years anyway. When women turn 40, it can be the best time for a woman actually, they start to feel better in their own bodies, they start to accept wh…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 05:47 PM
6

You need to hold on tight, my friend, you’re gonna have ups and downs, I’m out three years now, and the core of me is forging ahead, and hasn’t fallen back, but you feel lonely. Sometimes, you feel jaded, you feel the trauma, but you have to learn how to cope with it, you need to take that trauma and the experiences Through the divorce and marriage, and turn it on its head and make it work for you next time! I know you’re not thinking about jumping into another relationship, nor should you for a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 08:57 PM
14

I started going to a psychiatrist one week after finding out my ex was cheating, the first two or three sentences out of my Psychiatrists mouth was, “you will never be the same person ever again!You simply can’t be!” And that’s basically how we started it out, there’s no way you’re the same person, you have too much experience now, you have too much foresight, you won’t put up with the same crap like you did in your marriage, if you see a red flag? You handle it now, you don’t wait till tomorrow…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 08:54 PM
1

I guess I’ll have to ask you what country you live in or what state? If she makes more money than you, you don’t have to pay child support and she probably owes you alimony as well. If she makes a lot more than you, this seems like nonsense information to be honest with you? Maybe check your state or countries laws because here in Michigan, that would never happen. I hope my ex-wife get through nursing school and my gift was her walking out the door, which I’m a lot happier! Thank you, my ex-wif…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 10:42 PM
2

Although I do agree with your post, I think if we believe everything he’s posted here, we can draw a conclusion that she takes her priority of a job further head by quite a bit than she does, her husband or daughter, she’s made her decision on what is actually important in her life and it’s not her family, it’s her job. They moved across the country for heaven sake because of it, the red flags are everywhere on this relationship sadly and she’s out till 9 o’clock or midnight? is she really worki…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 06:20 PM
3

Although relationships are quite complex, this one seems to be easy, here’s the deal, you have to ask yourself what is real? Your wife wants to be a CEO, and she has taken that over the time with you and your daughter, therefore she has taken more pride in her job than she does you or your daughter, we spend the time with the people that we want to spend time with, we put our priority of importance in a certain manner, and I think you’re seeing where her importance lies, it’s with her job. I don…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 06:17 PM
3

Divorced/Divorcing guys to do/not do list. I’m just gonna start this list off to help all men that are going through the process, if you’ve already gone through the process of divorce, feel free to add a suggestion and I can add it to the list, I’ve already created. Let’s try to do this for all the guys going through this terrible process. I know it’s gonna be a lot of tough love for some of these guys, but it’s what they need, as well as support. Make sure to get a good quality, reputable, lawy…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 06:00 PM
1

Awesome.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 05:48 PM
1

For heaven sake! Do not go on that trip, it’ll be the worst trip you’ve ever had, cancel it and try to get the money back. And don’t let her talk you into going as a one last hurrah before you get a divorce, that’s just her wanting a vacation, don’t go.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 05:47 PM
1

Sorry, brother, take it day by day.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 05:44 PM
2

I’m gonna try to use the experience that I have going through my divorce now 3 1/2 years later to try to help you out, now my ex was found to have cheated on me with one of my better friends, it was his wife that came up to my job and told me about it. But a divorce is a divorce and there’s a lot of rules that you should be following to get through this. Understand something very clearly! For every five years you were married, it takes one year to heal, that’s just a random speculation that Psyc…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 05:43 PM
1

Absolutely brother! See! Who says we didn’t learn anything through bad experiences, lol
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 05:37 PM
2

Sounds like he fell out of love with her as well? Because he didn’t state anywhere that he cared about her in that way, if they truly both just grew apart? Then marriage counseling could be an answer, but remember women leave the relationship mentally a long time before the men do. If she just popped him, with this out of nowhere? And he never saw the red flags? There’s possibilities that she has somebody waiting for her on the outside.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 05:37 PM
2

Thank you! I can tell you’re somebody with experience, you are 100% correct! You don’t really know if they’ve cheated or not, you just don’t know. Keeping your balls! Is great advice, that’s what my post was saying above. Yours, I see so many of these guys think that it’s gonna be this nice cozy little divorce, and then they end up getting absolutely destroyed and divorce court because they sat there like a lapdog and gave their ex everything because they’re such a wonderful person! That are als…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 05:35 PM
2

Good post, another thing to keep in mind is this, even though she may not have cheated? Which is still a question, you can never really tell. But let’s say she didn’t, you don’t want to get so cozy and comfy that you give away the rest of your life to her just to keep the perceived peace. Remember that this is a divorce, it doesn’t have to be a war, but you are being sued for divorce. Get what is legally yours and don’t give anything away. Don’t bend on any boundaries or anything of that nature,…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 05:33 PM
4

Just find yourself a reputable divorce attorney and let them do the work, tell them all the information you have, and let them get prepared to go to battle. When your ex finds out how your lawyer is, she’s going to investigate them without doubt. Make sure there’s no conflict of interest and make sure that your lawyer is actually involved! My friggin lawyer didn’t even show up for the divorce! Honestly, he sent some 23-year-old kid, it was pretty insulting. The one court date that led up to the …
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 04:39 PM
1

Which happens when they find a new guy in the new guy starts to influence them which they always do! And then that’s when the trouble can start, without question.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 04:19 PM
1

It’s not about having enough money, it’s about accountability and responsibility, part of what I’m reading in your posts, almost makes me feel like you think this should’ve happened to you? Like you actually deserved this? I don’t know why, but I get a feeling of self holding in some of your posts, I hope that’s not true.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 04:18 PM
1

Look I got cheated on, so my divorce was nowhere near what yours was. But there are some things rather it’s a good divorce or a bad divorce that are all the same, if you’re old child support? There is absolutely no reason you’re not going for child support. And what are you talking about? You could equal time so you don’t need child support? Most of us get 50-50 custody and there is child support included, You’re gonna do what you’re gonna do and I’m not gonna try to tell you what to do, but I t…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 04:17 PM
1

And that’s exactly we’re being nice and nice to get you crucified, you have to have a war plan, this is the rest of your life going forward you shouldn’t be doing something for your partner to make their life better when they’re leaving, it’s all about you and your kids. If you have kids, it’s about being a little bit selfish and finally giving back to yourself, not giving back to everybody else.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 04:15 PM
1

I agree with you 100%, I could’ve probably done something like this as well, but I caught my ex cheating on me and decided that cutting all communication for the most part was the most healthy for me, she was allowed to talk to me through text only, until this day now divorced 3 1/2 years she’s not allowed in my home, not allowed at my place of work and can never call me, she can text only about the kids one most needed, which is almost never. I’m glad that the OP and his marriage did differentl…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 04:14 PM
2

That’s the game right? And I hope he doesn’t take all these things that he’s already done the divorce and then speed ahead through the healing process, it takes a good 3 to 5 years actually to rebuild emotionally and financially. You cannot speed through that, trust me, I tried.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 04:10 PM
2

I actually was forced to sell my house as well, and I’m renting an apartment, although it’s a really nice apartment, starting over is really tough! I’m in year 2 1/2 of what I figure is gonna be a 5 1/2 year rebuild. And I’m closing on 60 pretty quick, classic story.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 03:04 PM
4

I’m gonna make this real simple for you, I’m not a woman hater, I just know that women and men run a little bit different propulsion systems, we problem solve very differently and this causes issues. When women finally tell you, they’re done? They’ve been done for years or months ahead of time, you’re just finding out about it or you saw those red flags and did nothing about it like a lot of us did. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated anymore! She isn’t just divorcing you, she is suing you! …
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 07:40 PM
8

Well, I’ll do respect, you’re gonna be an absolute fool, not the higher lawyer. You’re gonna end up getting ripped off go to court and not get what’s rightful yours in legal sense, if she makes more money than you and has a bigger retirement, you’re owed 50% of her 401(k) and you’re also probably old child support and alimony from her as well, and you’re gonna end up giving all that away? Seriously? Is it about saving money or do you still have heart strengths to her? Because you’re gonna get de…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 02:02 PM
5

I didn’t look at the ages of you or her not sure you posted? But I’ll tell you a secret, when a woman hits 40, it can be a wonderful time in their lives! They start to get kind of used to their bodies, they get a little more confident they kinda say to themselves this is the way I’m gonna look and I’m gonna start liking it, and they can either turn out super awesome! Open minded and actually almost go back to college like exploring, sexually speaking, or they can turn into absolute savages, beco…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 06:19 PM
1

You’re absolutely where I am, exactly the same plan of attack. Yes! They try to be manipulative and they think they’re gonna be your buddy like they’re doing you a favor to offload their own guilt, you did the right thing by shutting the door on her and letting her live within her guilt. Here’s the thing, though, women have a nasty habit of blaming everybody else for their problems, but themselves, accountability and the phrase, I’m sorry! Never tend to come out of their mouth. And yes, I had th…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 06:17 PM
5

That absolutely happened to me during the separation. I was forced to be in the house with her during Halloween, which was a few years back, now we’ve been separated for about five months at that point never spoke, and she says to me after cheating that she’s upset that she can’t sit down at night and tell me about her day, lol. I just laughed and looked at her and said I don’t give a damn about your day! I don’t wanna hear anything about your life, she left the room for 10 minutes and then came…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:17 PM
1

Mike is a little older, so maybe I got off easy? I haven’t heard her voice in almost 2 1/2 years, she text Maybe if she has to once or twice a year, she’s basically abandoned my children, she’s currently running a house an hour away from where she’s living with her boyfriend so two of my kids can live there, Found out I could’ve called child protective services a year ago because she was leaving my 16-year-old daughter alone for a week at a time! And I had no idea until I was told. I’m basically…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:09 PM
6

Congratulations! You got to indifference, you may not know this, but indifference is power! Even when I’m dating, I’m just indifferent, now I don’t come off as a jerk, but if it works out great! If it doesn’t work out great! It sends a message that you really don’t care one way or the other. Now here’s the next step, look for her to tell you that you’re not over her yet, because why would you be mad if you’re over it right? That’s a manipulative trick, It’s all about you now! You get to be selfi…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:04 PM
3

Some of these people don’t understand that they’re about to go to war in a divorce court do they? It’s not about hating or being jaded, it’s about self-defense, if your wife wants to divorce, you? Like lots of ours has, for better or worse, you were fired! She’s now an ex employer, and that’s how you have to look at it and she’s taking you to court to sue you for divorce, these guys going to court all sappy and get their guts turned out of them, it’s time to get a war plan and it’s time to ask y…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 01:10 PM
2

That’s actually not completely true, they make coparenting apps. Now, she can communicate with him through coparenting apps, and then text if needed about the kids only! There’s no reason to talk to her about anything else at all, absolutely nothing. There are nothing more than the other spouse that watches the kids occasionally. You can go up to their schools. You can have the email sent to you so you know what’s going on there, you have to get through the acceptance phase and you can’t do that…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 01:09 PM
5

I honestly wouldn’t give her a choice if you have a spouse, saying that they wanna get rid of you as their spouse, and get a divorce, I would not leave the door open for them to come back in, because here’s what’s gonna happen possibly, they get back with you because they get cold feet over the divorce and then about 34 years down the road they end up cheating or leaving you anyway,if they wanna leave? Don’t talk him back in the door, shut it behind them and let them walk.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 01:08 PM
4

It hurts because you’re not through the acceptance phase, you don’t have to hate her, I don’t know why everybody on here thinks that you have to hate somebody not to talk to them, you have to heal and you cannot heal while they’re in your life. Listen Man you got fired as her husband! She rejected you, she doesn’t want you anymore and I promise you she doesn’t love you, she may not want you to die, of course, but she doesn’t care about you and if you linger caring about her you’re never gonna he…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 01:06 PM
10

There’s absolutely no reason to be friends after, that doesn’t mean you can’t coparent, coparenting apps were made for a reason, that should really be your only point of contact with your ex spouse. That way it’s documented and can be used in court and it’s an easy way to communicate and not really talk. You cannot heal on the other person is stealing your life day-to-day or even a weekly, you go cold turkey on them and you allow them to communicate only through a coparenting nap maybe text if i…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 01:04 PM
17

You didn’t say what was causing the divorce, but if she wants to be buddies afterwards? That almost makes me believe she’s cheating, and she’s trying to offload her guilt by still being nice to the guy she betrayed. Either way, you did the right thing, my ex-wife was absolutely shocked when I told her after 27 years that I expect her to never call me again, she’s not allowed at my house and she’s not allowed at my place of work. She can only contact me by text about the kids, and that’s it! You …
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 01:03 PM
6

First off, she can’t throw you out of the house, my gut says she was trying to set you up for abandonment, which the court does not want to see. So that probably went against you pretty hard.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 06:50 PM
6

I was gonna say if you and your wife have different political leanings? I can understand a divorce, that’s where the politics are now, there’s so much fundamentals and values wrapped up However, she wants to leave you, because your family is Republican? I’m the black sheep of my family, I’m a Bernie Sanders progressive! And my entire family is Trump people, I’ve just simply told them at family meals or holidays. Let’s not talk about politics or religion. It’s just that simple , I think your wife…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 07:09 PM
11

You married a religious zealot, it’s just that simple, and rarely does that ever work out, God is more important than her partner. God is her husband and you’re just a side piece, that’s just how they look at it, feel lucky that you’re getting a divorce! She’s gonna be stuck in a religious cult the rest of her life, but I think all religion is a cult, which it clearly is. Congratulations on your freedom!
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/24 11:58 AM
2

Most of us were in our 20s when we got married, of course we went headlong into it! Our compatibility was based on what type of music do you like? What’s your favorite flavor ice cream? And what’s your favorite color, it was basically that awful! After years and experience and trauma, you learn very quickly what real chemistry feels like and looks like, but you have to meet a person Who makes you feel that way to finally feel what it’s really like to meet someone that’s your muse, I’ve said it b…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 07:42 PM
3

Selection is extremely important, but remember that extreme compatibility and chemistry is extremely hard to get, I truly believe in one lifetime you might meet three people if you’re lucky that you could be with for the rest of your life, the rest of the people you meet? You either stay in a marriage or relationship that’s not making you happy for convenience or you just keep bouncing from one partner to the next, my advice? Keep dating, keep having fun, keep having sex with the people you date…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 07:41 PM
2

My dog Oscar goes with me everywhere, at least he’s happy to see me when I come home and doesn’t try to manipulate or play games with me, and pets generally don’t cheat, lol but there’s good people out there, but honestly, they’re very rare I honestly believe in a full lifetime? I think you might meet three of those people that you could absolutely spend a lifetime with and that’s it! The rest are close And maybe could make a good partner, but I only think you get three chances at a superb partn…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 03:20 PM
2

It’s really simple, start to recognize those red flags and don’t let them fly by, people who have been divorced are a little bit non-tolerant, so if it’s not a big deal, let it wash over you, but if it’s a red flag, you have to say something and figure it out or you have to move on. I know what I want, I know the kind of life I wanna live with the partner and if they’re not that type of partner, and they’re not into what I’m into? Then I simply walk away. Look for a partner who actually desires …
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 02:32 PM
1

I don’t know if mostly women have narcissistic personality issues, I’ve dated a whole lot and most of the women I’ve dated I may not have been compatible with, but I think they were halfway decent people, only a few truly sociopaths.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 01:37 AM
3

At some point, it’s only the wasted years that bother you, I’m completely indifferent to her cheating, not that it doesn’t bother me, but I’m just indifferent. I don’t give a shit anymore, after 27 years I haven’t heard her voice in 3 1/2 years, laid down hard boundaries as soon as we were divorced, and she was shocked by it!
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 12:26 PM
3

Hindsight is 2020, I wish I would’ve never met my ex-wife, I feel worse for the kids that I do about myself, the kids had to go through a lot of hell and I’m all still healing, but most of us meet our partner while we’re in our 20s and we really don’t have any experience. I really know a whole lot about relationship relationships, I had a ton of girlfriends in collagen in high school, but those weren’t what I would call adult relationships, you live you learn, it was just an expensive lesson tha…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 11:34 AM
7

My apologies, I thought I read that you called it an accident, I deleted that portion of my post, so there’s no misinformation. But the rest, I standby, lol. Look she’s probably testing you, women love to test you and if you take the bait? They’re gonna keep pushing those boundaries, she’s a new mom and I don’t doubt for a minute, she wants to spend more time around her new child, the problem is, they never think about the man having to work hour after hour, year after year, then they don’t unde…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 09:27 PM
8

here’s the deal, bud, if she can stay home and you can go out and make the money and pay all the bills and pay for all the food and pay for all the doctor appointments, why wouldn’t she stay with you? I mean she’ll end up cheating on you, but she’ll still stay with you. But as soon as you tell her that she’s going to have to work to help provide with you, she doesn’t see you anymore as a viable partner! Her meal ticket is washed up and she wants to throw you out with the garbage, just divorce, h…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 09:11 PM
1

Absolutely! Indifference is extremely powerful when you get there, that’s where I finally am after 3 1/2 years.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 09:04 PM
2

Your problem is that you’re still living in the past, you’re still seeing your wife for who she was when there was supposed good times and she was faithful, you’re not getting through the acceptance phase, you’re stuck actually, you need to read up on the acceptance phase of healing, to understand that this is happening, and you have to start judging her for who she is today! Not who she was the first two or three years that you married her, because that’s not the same woman. The problem is, you…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 09:02 PM
3

I love when they wanna come back and reconcile and then you’re the bad guy because you won’t take them back, lol when you end up setting off a nuclear warhead on your own family, you can’t think that they’re actually gonna take you back, that’s narcissism or entitlement and it’s best.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 05:27 PM
4

Huh? No you’re wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 06:02 PM
1

I can’t believe the guys I’ve heard, have lawyers that the lawyers didn’t file paperwork and all this other stuff and they already paid them a retainer and can’t get the money back and have to go get a new attorney and start all over again with more retainer money given out, it’s psychotic! Is there no ethics Board to make lawyers accountable? I paid my attorney $3000 on day one and he didn’t show up for my divorce! Lol he got all the money upfront. I owed him nothing and he still didn’t show up…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 12:57 PM
1

You give a very logical answer, the problem is this is not a logical time and many many times women are just not logical at all. She could be begging to call off the divorce just to go back to her old ways and have to reinstate the divorce filing all over again. If I was reinstating a marriage, and pushing off a divorce, I would demand full transparency, we’re talking your phone, your iPad everything, if you are being true to each other, you should have no problem looking into each other’s priva…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 12:55 PM
5

I wouldn’t try to fix that relationship unless it was an issue that didn’t include in Fidelity. If there was infidelity involved? No way, know how! Proceed with the divorce, if it was just incompatibility or major misunderstandings? Then maybe they can fix it. But once cheating is involved, it’s best to move on the percentages are not pretty for rekindling a broken, cheating marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 12:53 PM
1

Was there cheating involved? Because I can guarantee the outcome if you like.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 12:52 PM
1

???? who’s gonna talk to soon to there soon be ex-wife like a toddler? Lol seriously though come on. He’s not her therapist. He has no reason to even give her any solace whatsoever.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 12:50 PM
1

If she’s a woman, make sure that she’s a nasty woman! If she’s not? You need a new lawyer cause you’re gonna get destroyed. You need one of those women like your divorcing, nasty, cold, and has absolutely zero empathy. That’s the only woman attorney I would ever have.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 12:49 PM
3

I’ll tell you a secret, if a lot of the guys in here, including myself, didn’t have children, we would’ve gotten out of our marriages maybe 5– 6–8 years before we actually got divorced. If I wouldn’t have had children? I would’ve bailed on my wife a decade before I did.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 12:49 PM
2

And I’ll assume that you filed a police report and had her arrested for assault and battery?
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 12:47 PM
4

Not sure what you broke up over, but I’ll say this to you, infidelity has no reverse gear. But you need to do what’s right for yourself, she comes begging back because she went out had her fun and realized that the grass wasn’t greener.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 12:47 PM
1

That sucks, could you give some examples of the narcissism?
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 12:46 PM
6

Do we know what is causing the divorce? I can’t really reply to this until I know wha the break up is over.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 12:45 PM
3

The really big problem with lawyers is there’s no legal accountability, sure if they break the law there’s accountability, but when they dragged their feet and dragged their clients through the mud and cost them money because what they’re really doing is dragging you for cash, there just isn’t any legal accountability for their actions. There should be some sort of ethics review into a lawyer like that.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 09:39 PM
1

I think, instead of spending all that money on the custody battle, which I understand you have to spend, I would honestly look at counter, suing her for harassment, she obviously has been doing these things with no evidence, correct? That is harassment, I’m a little surprised your lawyer hasn’t countersuit with her.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 09:26 PM
3

Men and women are different, men have a plethora of issues, but so do women, but we’re not allowed to talk about women’s issues, because it’s seen as being discriminatory or sexist. It can definitely go into that territory if you allow it to, which is unfortunate. Let’s look at some facts, gentlemen, men struggle, much harder after a break up than women do, men are eight times more likely to commit suicide after a divorce, then a woman is. Women are able to cut that emotional cord and walk away …
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 04:10 PM
6

I suppose I have to be the black sheep of this post, I don’t think it’s all that great to be honest with you, of course, the past doesn’t exist in the now, but the past matters, the past is, what makes you who you are today, you have to understand the past to understand yourself. The real trick is to not live in the past, and not reflect that deeply back into the past, we know what’s back there, we know there’s things that we don’t wanna look at, so live in The now, that’s really the challenge.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 12:10 AM
2

Totally cool man, I’m not looking to date women with blue hair either, and I’m a progressive, but I also don’t mind if a woman has some well arranged, tattoos, keep looking, maybe a church group for you?
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 09:10 PM
6

Having some sexual dysfunction after a divorce or when you’re separated, getting out of a long marriage is extremely common! Try to remember that everything is sort of coming back online in a very different way, I had no affection in my marriage whatsoever, but we did have sex, I had emotions towards my ex-wife, but those were cut in half as soon as I asked for a separation. So you spend years and years having at least some connection to a woman you’re having sex with and then you go out dating,…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 05:02 PM
1

I don’t care all that much about self expression, I’ve met women who were almost saints and their whole bodies were tattooed up, there’s parts of spirituality that I believe in, but these women just go over the top, the traumatized from past experiences and they have to use an excuse of why they treat you crappy, and that becomes spirituality. They’ll just walk away from you because the moon and stars don’t lineup right, it’s pretty ridiculous.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 04:59 PM
4

Make some sense, and it’s extremely toxic, I also don’t want to see that use as an excuse, though either.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 04:05 PM
3

I suppose that’s plausible, I think most jobs there’s going to be affairs with coworkers, though, but I get the point, either way, anytime I’m out there dating and it’s a nurse or something in the medical field? I take it super slow, because the percentages are not good.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 11:03 PM
2

It’s not a bad theory, but nobody, including the research said they cheated with somebody else in the medical field, they just simply have a high percentage of cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 10:55 PM
1

Absolutely correct, and I wouldn’t go searching for it, but I would not be surprised if she’s already cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 08:38 PM
4

Go look up the research, the medical field is the number one field for cheating and broken relationships, I have no idea what it is about the medical field, but it is a nasty turn of events for relationships. Glad we have doctors and nurses though, but I would not gamble on any of them in a relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 08:37 PM
1

Exactly! My ex tried talking me into using the same lawyer, and I laughed in her face, never use the same lawyer and always protect yourself, this guy has to understand. This is war now! She is not your friend, she is your ultimate enemy, she’s going to try to take from him everything! His lawyer needs to get him everything he is absolutely deserved through the law, including child support, and alimony if it applies.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 08:37 PM
5

Happens almost every time, brother! I’m not gonna sit here with a wide brush and call all women, trash, because I honestly don’t believe that and I’ve met some women that were fantastic, but when it comes to the medical field, especially! It’s a battlefield of cheaters and liars, go look up the research about it, the medical field is the number one vocation for infidelity And broken relationship relationships. Sadly, at the end of the day, I’m starting to believe that men have more honor than wo…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 08:35 PM
17

This kind of thing always happens, I have almost the same track record as you, at 36 years old. My ex-wife decided she wanted to be a nurse. I was the only one holding the family together financially and parenting wise for 20 years! By myself! I told her that I would actually step up and do even more to get her through college because she’s going to be helping the entire family, so she graduated nursing school and then asked to go to two years of nurse practitioner school, I told her to go for i…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 08:33 PM
2

I understand what you’re saying, and what you’re saying is plausible for sure. But I’ve also had relationships with women where we would actually watch pornography together, and we would play with each other, and it was just fine, daily masturbation, though is going to give you bionic stamina, and a lot of women don’t want you to go that long, that was the one thing I had to break, and I did it by cutting back on masturbation. Pornography really didn’t screw me up, I just see it as eye candy, wh…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 08:12 PM
2

Well, I’ll say this at least, if you get a girlfriend and you’re having consistent sex, you should naturally cut down on porn and masturbation! I was dating a woman on and off for about a year and we both masturbated daily because we couldn’t be consistent lovers, twice a week basically, and we both admitted that daily masturbation definitely hurt us in the bedroom, so we both cut back and things were back to normal.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 08:08 PM
1

That’s because you actually made it through the transition from married sex to single dating sex, there is a difference in connection.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 08:06 PM
5

First off, just relax! This is extremely common and it’s something that kind of happened to me as well. This is what’s going on, you’re in a marriage with somebody that you had a connection with and you were having sex with her while you had that connection, now you’re going out into the wild with these new women that you have absolutely no connection with and you’re thinking that your unit is gonna stand at attention like it used to. It’s not going to! You’re not 25 years old anymore, or howeve…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 08:05 PM
1

I actually knew that about Canada, I live in Michigan and I was dating a woman in Sarnia. It was only like a 45 minute drive over the blue water bridge and she is waiting the year for her divorce as well, good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 03:58 PM
2

I’m not saying you’re completely wrong, what I’m saying is you can’t just can’t give it’s all a title like BPD, sometimes you’re dealing with Kobart narcissism or you’re dealing with generational entitlement, there are other factors, it’s too easy just to blame it on one mental disorder. And as far as societies part in this? You’re absolutely correct, how many sitcoms did we have to grow up on seeing the Dolby Dad who worked his butt off, the snarky, angry mom and the kids who didn’t respect the…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 03:12 PM
1

He needs a psychiatrist that covers all bases, he’s suffering. I’m sure from the divorce, but he also suffers terribly from the lack of self-respect and self-worth that he has for himself, I would rather see him work on that first.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 02:12 PM
2

Look man, forget everything about your life, you severely need to get to a psychiatrist and start to work on yourself, I don’t know one man that has some shred of self-respect, that would’ve sat in his own home and allowed another man to enter it and have sex with his wife! Not unless it is a sexual kink that they’re both into, you have zero self-respect and absolutely no self-worth, it doesn’t matter if you don’t care if she’s dating, she came home to the nest and he made his mark on your home!…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 02:12 PM
1

All the time.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 02:08 PM
4

I don’t think BPD can be blamed for everything, and here’s why, you’ll read too many of these stories with too many women acting exactly the same, not all of them have BPD! Women, unfortunately don’t take a lot of accountability in their lives and they sure in the hell never say they’re sorry. Not all women are bad, let’s go ahead and put a stop to that right here right now! Sadly, there is a large and I mean large amount of women that are exactly like this and that’s the problem. When the OP sa…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 02:07 PM
3

What you could do is this, leave her in the house, leave the house in your name, and have her pay you rent.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 07:09 PM
2

His soon to be ex-wife is just a disgusting, nauseating, deplorable piece of dog Crap! She disrespected him as much as she disrespected herself and self-respect. So glad he’s getting rid of the dead weight. And for what it’s worth? If I was the guy having sex with her? I am not going into another man’s home while he’s right down the hallway, no way!
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 06:34 PM
12

Shitty starting over at 41? Lol I started over at 50! And congratulations my man! You treated your narcissistic wife perfectly! You held your composure, and you didn’t react like she wanted you to, she honestly sounds super toxic and unapologetic, be happy that you’re out of there, you probably never really knew her anyway, she sounds absolutely rotten to the core! Up your wardrobe, go to the gym and lose a few pounds if you need to, slowly start dating again, slowly! And reflect hard on what yo…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 06:33 PM
2

It’s not that easy to figure out man, I took like I said 2 1/2 years out of my life going to a psychiatrist coming on here and looking for patterns, you’re gonna find there’s only really two or three reasons that a marriage ends, everything else is a side effect. In my situation, my ex-wife’s father was basically pushed away when she was two years old and he tried for years to get back to her, which means my ex-wife was raising a home by a mom and no masculine energy, so when she got into a rela…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 10:03 PM
4

So let me explain what you’re actually dealing with, your ex-wife is obviously a narcissist! Do you know the main way to upset a narcissist? Pay them no attention! They can’t stand it, they go absolutely insane! Tell her you will see her in court and then don’t talk to her again. She’s only trying to get you into a conversation because she’s so desperate, slammed the door in her face and leave it shut, so she completely understands. She doesn’t get the ride your bus anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 10:01 PM
3

It describes your situation, because I learned a long time ago through my own research, there’s only really three or four reasons to get a divorce, all the rest of the stuff is side effects of those three or four things. If you spend enough time on this sub, Reddit, you’re gonna see the same scenario played out over and over and over, so we know where the red flags are, and now that you’re getting a divorce, and starting to go back to dating at some point, you’ll know what red flags to look for …
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 10:00 PM
4

I’m taking this as a compliment! Lol
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:48 PM
5

Trust me, my friend, I wouldn’t know all of this unless I went through some of it myself, I remember having to get past a good three years of marriage before my ex-wife would stop calling her mom for every issue. , my ex wife kept calling back to the store because she didn’t think the customer knew what he was doing, lol it ended in our case, but in your case, it doesn’t sound like it’s ending and it’s going to cause Major issues in your relationship forever! You’ll be happier when you’re divorc…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:36 PM
2

I actually agree with you, absolutely. The men are to blame for a lot of these issues, and I’ve actually scolded guys on here for being part of the issue if not all of the issue, but we are not really realizing is, men have big time issues in relationships with women, mainly because they don’t believe that we need the affection or support that they’re supposed to be getting as well, it’s an equal train, plenty of stories on here are the exact same around the world over and over and over again, s…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:20 PM
5

Don’t listen to her, unfortunately, she’s jaded and she’s projecting her own past issues, we’ve all probably done that from time to time, don’t buy into her, her marriage wasn’t your marriage, sounds like her husband actually didn’t support her at all.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:17 PM
2

I don’t know if you’re a man or a woman, and I suppose at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter. But the truth of the matter is your projecting so hard it’s almost cracking the screen of my iPad, the truth be told, we really don’t have the wife’s story on this, but if we take with the OP says, as context, she is setting him up to be the villain to offload her own guilt for leaving, I can’t believe you would come on here and take a dump on this guy? Now, if he’s being dishonest, then we can…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:11 PM
2

So…….stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:08 PM
3

I totally get what you’re saying, and I’m not saying that you’re correct, but you as an individual, you also can’t just sit there and take abuse because your partner doesn’t have the intellect to actually go and get help. It’s not your job to suffer inadequacies or health issues, you support to the point that there’s no more supporting them, because they won’t support themselves. That’s where you need to start putting a line in the sand here, and don’t feel guilty about it, sounds like she has o…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:06 PM
2

They never do!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:04 PM
3

Honestly, not to upset you, but it wouldn’t be that weird, if she knew the kid wasn’t yours. Or if she had the boyfriend before she even got a pregnant.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:04 PM
4

You gotta stop trying to be rational about this, don’t you get it? She’s making of every excuse in the book to make you the villain, to offload her guilt of either shooting on you or leaving you or both, you can’t see that? You’re doing nothing wrong, I know you feel like you’re living in crazy land, but you’re not! All of these things you hear about, are the same excuses she’s telling her family and friends of why she’s leaving, and I can’t believe anybody would actually buy into her ignorance.…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:03 PM
1

EVERYDAY!!!!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 05:58 PM
3

Exactly, he can simply pull a child’s hair and pull one of his hairs and mail it into a DNA company and she doesn’t need to know anything about it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 05:57 PM
24

OK, I’ll take a crack at it, I took 2 1/2 years out of my life to research relationships with my psychiatrist and here on Reddit and just personal experiences, I think I know exactly what’s going on so let me break it down point by point, I would love to hear your opinion when I’m done. “Her mother is manipulative and her dad just enables her” : your wife has learned how to be who she is by being brought up in a home where the mother steam rolls the father. If you say no to her, which you should…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 05:53 PM
1

I thought you were off to a good start until you have to bring up the trending cat lady thing! You’ve tanked your entire theory just with that one line, it’s as ridiculous as it was what? three weeks ago now? I will agree that you don’t have to find a woman with above average income or a career, isn’t a teacher a career? You just have to know what’s right and what’s wrong, and these guys that make you think that you have to have six figures and Lamborghini in the driveway to attract women, espec…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 06:50 PM
5

Yep!!! I did the exact same thing, it was very therapeutic, I don’t have one single picture of her with the kids or with me or the nudes or anything, I deleted absolutely all of it. I was just about to go out in the driveway the day I got divorced and set the wedding album a flame, but my mother told me my kids may wanna look at it later down the road, so I packed it away and I gave it to my mom to leave in her basement.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 05:02 PM
4

I don’t believe you’re under any legal jeopardy, the revenge porn stuff is if you take those pictures and show them around a lot and it gets back to her then you are under probably some legal obligations at that point. Me personally? The day that I filed for divorce papers, I actually took every naked photo I had of my soon to be ex-wife and deleted them, I don’t wanna see her, I don’t wanna remember her and it was an easy choice for me. But I honestly don’t believe you’re under any legal obliga…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 04:59 PM
5

I think like these other commenters are saying, judges don’t like that, when they can see a pure and simple line of backstabbing like you’re soon to be ex-wife did, you may find yourself getting at least some reimbursement back. It’s obvious to anybody, that she did this so you couldn’t get anything, doesn’t make sense to me actually, lol Does she not make her own money? Can she not pay her bills? Why would she sell your personal goods? Other than just to hurt you, if she needed the money it’s s…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 02:21 PM
11

I’ve seen this before, here’s what’s going on, she’s not quite ready to leave you, she doesn’t have the landing pad quite flat enough to take off from your relationship. So what she’s really doing, is making you just sit there and wait until she’s damn ready to divorce you, don’t put up with that! Get the power back, You serve her the papers sooner than later. Don’t let her be in charge of how the rest of your life starts.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 09:28 PM
9

Been divorced 3 1/2 years after a 27 year toxic marriage to a cheater, I can tell you this, lawyer expectations in your healing process, Psychiatrist say for every five years you were married. It takes one year to heal, make sure that you’re looking Calmly at a 5 1/2 year killing process and to rebuild yourself, I’m 3 1/2 years in and I’m still financially struggling, the reason for that is my ex-wife is decided not to be a mother, so I have to be the only parent for all three of my kids. But I …
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 08:14 PM
3

I’m just telling you, if you don’t have a lawyer on your own, you’re not gonna be covered as well. And when you say that, neither of you can afford a lawyer? From what you have stated, that is simply untrue, sounds like you’re soon to be ex-wife can afford quite a bit! Not sure why you’re divorcing, that would sort of tell me if I was going to go after her retirement, which is your legal right or not. Was there infidelity involved? And who files and sends the paperwork to the court? The people o…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 05:17 PM
6

Let me try to understand what you’re saying, you’re saying that neither of you including your wife can afford an attorney, but she has $150,000 in a 401(k) and has an LLCill assume is for her own business? What are you talking about? Generally a $3000 retainer is all you need, if you have everything figured out, that’s all it’s going to be. Something seems off here. And you have to get your own attorney, do you know how this works? The first spouse that talks to the attorney is the one that gets…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 04:39 PM
1

Haha! Thanks, my main issue was thinking the more you did for your partner the more they were gonna love you, nothing could be further from the truth. You’re there to support and care for your partner, but when you do too much, they end up disrespecting you, if you treat them like a celebrity, they’re going to treat you like a fan!
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 03:26 PM
2

She doesn’t want to use a coparenting app, because she won’t have any direct conversational ability to her ex-husband, and they want to be able to get at you and dig on you, this is why you use a coparenting app! Because you shouldn’t have to have any further discussions with them other than that.narcissists, hate it when they can’t get to you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 03:15 PM
1

All true, I had to deal with some of that, especially during the marriage, her perception of family was three kids, and her perception of a vacation was Disney. We struggled because of her expectations, glad she’s gone.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 03:14 PM
1

Exactly
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 11:36 PM
1

Finding that super compatible partner is extremely rare, but you are correct, they’re out there! I got so freaking close once over the last 3 1/2 years I mean this woman and I were 95% compatible, it was insane! The issue is, She wanted an open relationship, and I don’t go that way. If you’re not the entrée, then you’re the side dish, never be somebody’s side dish.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 11:09 PM
1

Agreed, if you have that issue. I actually bought that book and about halfway through, discovered pretty quickly that, I’m not a nice guy! Lol. 😝 I’m more, of a lovable asshole!
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 11:05 PM
1

Bravo!
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 11:03 PM
1

This dudes out! Lol
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 11:02 PM
1

True The only reason my ex-wife and I dated other people during the separation, because we both knew it was over, mainly because I told her right off the bat when I asked for the separation, that there is no way to come back, this is just a soft takeoff to the divorce. But I don’t think her request is all that uncommon, especially if she feels there’s a way to come back, the question you have to ask yourself is, is there? None of us know the struggles you guys had, so it’s hard to say if you sho…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 11:01 PM
1

Then you don’t date for that, I’ve been looking for a long-term relationship for 3 1/2 years, but I’m in no hurry, I know exactly what I’m looking for, and in the meantime, I just meet women become friendly with them have sex and in the meantime, you figure out if this is somebody that you think will be a long-term situation, but you’re always honest with a person that you’re dating that nothing is final till it is. It’s not great out there dating though, getting laid is easy, finding a true com…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 11:00 PM
5

Sexually speaking, I did pretty well in high school and in college and I’ll tell you this, after my divorce I got more women than I did in high school in college combined! I hit the dating trail hard for three years! Had a lot of sex, with a lot of different women, but I have to admit now, it’s just getting a little old, I’m looking for something rare and special, still gonna have sex with women, lol, but truly looking for something consistent and stable with one woman. Not marriage! Lol. And th…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 07:55 PM
1

I’m seriously happy for your revival! But I denounce that you need God in your life to heal and be better, people as individuals within themselves, heal, and become better by their own will, and their own force, by saying what you have, that would intern mean that every atheist will never heal properly, and that’s just deplorable. Honestly, glad you’re doing better, curious if you had children? I have found that that is really been a huge hill to climb . I am 3 1/2 years out and I’m still pullin…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 07:54 PM
7

Just do yourself a favor, she’s probably going to start calling you and crying and begging you back, it’s manipulative and it’s a trap! Please make sure that once you’ve walked away, you stay away! Don’t have any long conversations with her, don’t fight with her, simply vanish off the face of the earth and block her on every device you can, you’ll probably need to leave your cell phone open for texts from her because you’ll be going through the divorce, But you have to shut the door on her compl…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 02:12 PM
3

That’s hilarious, my daughter had about 12 years old when the marriage was falling apart, and we were divorcing at the exact same thing to me! She said, if you guys ever get back together, I’ll never talk to either of you, lol no worries, daughter, I’m not even gonna be in the same room as her anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 12:50 PM
1

Acute codependency.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 12:43 PM
3

Well, somebody had to say it! Good post. The problem is, if this guy doesn’t get actual mental health, and he does get into another relationship, he’s going to end up being the same lapdog that he was in the first and this whole cycle is going to start back up again, women do not like Men, they want masculine energy around them all the time, now they’ll complain. You’re not soft enough, but as soon as you do, soften up, they’ll drift away, happens every time.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 12:42 PM
4

Do yourself a favor and get to a psychiatrist, you need to honestly work on yourself, I don’t honestly believe you’re anywhere near getting through the acceptance phase of this, and if you don’t get through the acceptance phase of what’s happening to you, you’ll never move on and you’ll never heal correctly. I think you need to work on your self-respect and have a psychiatrist help you through the acceptance phase. What you’re saying is you’re willing to play second fiddle to anybody else that s…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 12:41 PM
3

I like that you’re taking accountability for your drinking problem, so obviously a good portion of this is your fault. However! I probably would not have sent her any of the poems, but since you did, and now she wants to talk with you? You made the right decision to tell her everything you thought was on those pages, there’s no reason to get back with her or talk to her. Sounds like her new guy threw her to the curb and now she’s trying to get you off the bench since you’re sober, to be her new …
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 04:00 PM
2

It’s a shock to the system, but the first thing you need to do is accept that this is happening, acceptance is the first phase and healing. My gut says you overdid it, you probably did too much! You put her too high on a pedestal, Look back, did you treat her far better than she treated you? Did you make her a celebrity, which would make you a fan? You have to take some time off before you even start dating again and get to understand relationships and where you fit in as a man. The truth of the…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 01:59 PM
2

If this all has to do with your job, don’t talk to your wife about it ever! You just say it was a customer and then you tell the story, she obviously has some major insecurities that are never going to go away, and I don’t think you can fix that, Obviously telling her about all these women you talk to, is triggering her, you may want to look at getting out of this relationship, I wouldn’t wanna walk on eggshells my whole life.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 11:16 PM
2

I guarantee you, a woman would never allow you to NOT give them half of your retirement, unless you had something toleverage against it. Take half of retirement, and move on, it’s your right. FYI my ex-wife is also a nurse, it is the top vocation for cheating and relationship issues, this isn’t made up, this is from straight research. I don’t even date nurses at this point, for some reason, the medical field is just full of these kinds of stories.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 11:12 PM
1

Having differences of opinions is OK, the problem happens when those differences are so far apart that you lose connection with each other, I think people need to be individuals inside of their own relationships, that’s something we probably all screw up in our first marriage. It’s something that you definitely need to look after and if she’s treating your family with disrespect? There must be something that she says they’re doing wrong? Apparently she doesn’t respect you enough to know that it’…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 02:30 PM
5

If they have a joint bank account and they’re getting a divorce, he has every right to go in there and take half right now, but no more and make sure to make evidence that you only took half.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 02:12 PM
1

Has she ever had problems with you needing to deal with women at your job? Are you dealing with them in a business manner? Or are you purposely flirting with them? We can’t help who we work with who we have to interact with, I guess that’s what I’m getting at.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 01:43 PM
1

As you get older, you realize that life is extremely difficult, if you’re not born rich, you’re working most of your life just try to pay bills, add in bad relationships and tough times and you end up wanting someway to find an answer to life’s mysteries, I think this is where a lot of people get wrapped up in religion, spirituality, and what not. if she’s only into palm reading and things like that? That really wouldn’t bother me, as long as she’s not going overboard with it and letting it cont…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 01:42 PM
1

You’re lucky you don’t have any kids involved, but I have to ask you since you didn’t really cover it in her original post, were you talking other other women? Were you cheating?
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 11:25 PM
3

Oh the spirituality women? Oh, I’ve dated a few of those in the last three years, although I do believe in small portions of spirituality, most women use spirituality to try and excuse their absolutely self-centered, narcissistic behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 09:52 PM
3

It’s been a rough year for sure, been divorced 2 1/2 years so I’m into the rebuilding process which is kind of difficult and then our business streamlined and got rid of most of its veterans, so I lost a job of 30 years. Losing your job of that many decades is like getting a second divorce, I’m out looking for a job, but it’s been difficult, 2024 has been a kick in the ribs without question. Keep going guys! We’ll get there.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 09:51 PM
6

You just have to be realistic about relationships, the fairy dust got blown out of your eyes and you need to look at things in reality. I dated for 3 1/2 years now and I’ve only met one woman that really knocked my socks off, we had to be somewhere around 95% compatibility! That kind of compatibility where you just stare at each other, and you can feel the electricity between you, it was awesome! And I’m never gonna forget how that felt, how it felt to truly be desired, to truly be looked up to …
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 06:26 PM
7

I was a little bit codependent myself, I got so sold on the thoughts that if I did more, she would love me more than an end up just putting me in a really weak position, and that’s not who I am, I’ve been a fighter in my entire life, play 20 years of hockey And have five gold medals in karate. But I also didn’t wanna lose my family and I cared more about not losing my family than she did. My advice to you? You can date, I date, but you simply have to have higher standards, see the red flags, and…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 06:11 PM
11

It’s most likely because you’re codependent, and now that you’re on your own, you can’t derive your happiness from somebody else, that’s something that you honestly need to work on. If you feel like dating, you should, but I would not get into any serious relationships at least for two years, you have to cut that codependency cord, you have to realize that at the end of the day, you’re already somewhat married to yourself in life and that a partner is just an accessory, I’m sure we all feel good…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 06:05 PM
1

Great advice, that’s exactly what you need to do, well played! Glad you didn’t take her up on any offers.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 05:55 PM
2

I must’ve given the wrong indication, I’m totally fine with her changing her last name, I wasn’t surprised at it at all, she had had reservations because she didn’t want her last name to be different from the kids, but that obviously changed by the time we got to court.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 12:00 PM
6

It’s shocking how many women, are basically breaking up their families, including children nowadays, the percentages have got to be high, this used to be a guy thing, but women are really almost catching up with this, Monkey branching Wright boys? And The ruined the kids childhood over it as well, selfish. It’s not all women! But it’s enough of them that it’s a problem.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 11:47 PM
5

This is exactly correct.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 05:30 PM
2

You were told that, because most divorces don’t go as kindly as yours. Life is lived on the percentages, and the percentages of divorces that cost a lot of money are in the majority. Pretty simple math.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 02:24 PM
2

$3000
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 02:23 PM
1

I’ve never had one disappear after asking them out, but I’ve had more than a few absolutely fall in love with me and start talking about living together! Lol Maybe Which is fine, I just generally don’t feel the same way back at least not as quickly, date two? Insane. I went on a date with a woman, bought cocktails, and within 10 minutes had my coat on. And was leaving on her, she basically was a gold digger, told me that she expected me to pay for absolutely everything in her life, If we ended u…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 11:53 PM
7

I was watching a pretty well renowned divorce attorney, and he actually said this himself. He said you see it all the time, that the woman will get into the marriage get what she wants with the kids and then no longer need the husband, he was nothing more than a stud to provide her with what she wanted. She also doesn’t have to watch them 100% of the time either, now you get to watch them 50% of the time and pay her. I honestly do believe relationships can last a lifetime, but it is extremely an…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 07:41 PM
12

If you truly saw absolutely no red flags? And this is truly coming out of left field, then the probability that she’s already cheating is pretty high. Now that’s not a guarantee, but when the one spouse knows they have a soft landing pad on the other side, they tend to yank the rug out of nowhere, and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 07:37 PM
1

Perfect 👍🏼
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 06:37 PM
2

You’re gonna have trust issues, but remember some of that is fixed. Automatically, we have been trusting people our whole life at face value, why didn’t we allow people to earn our trust? I would be willing to bet you, that if you met a woman and you really cared for her, you would allow her to earn trust over a consistent amount of time, that’s the healthy and natural way. Too many times we give people we don’t even know the benefit of the doubt and just automatically trust them, and that’s a r…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 04:32 PM
1

Well, somebody should’ve told my ex-wife this, because I’m still paying off the credit card, thankfully it’s only a couple thousand dollars which I think I’m gonna be able to pay in the next two months.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 04:29 PM
3

So true, but if you don’t take at least two years and really research, what relationships are and look at the patterns and really learn, you’re just just gonna get set up to be burned again. I agree your standard should be higher in regards to what you want from your partner, because probably most of us accepted extremely low standards in her own marriage, just to make it comfortable and not cause drama. We’re not doing that anymore, have boundaries, tell her that you have these boundaries, heal…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 04:29 PM
2

Here’s one thing that I learned when I started dating again, don’t sit there and text them for three or four days, you’re always going to get ghosted. A man should never chase 100%, but you have to put in a little bit of effort, and then you have to leave room for the woman to come back and chase you. If the woman doesn’t chase you back? Don’t go out with her. But here’s the thing, text for two days, ask for a phone call so you can hear her tone and try to get some vibe of what she’s like, if th…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 04:18 PM
2

You are absolutely correct! A man should never ask for a relationship, I wouldn’t even bring up wanting a long-term relationship. If things are going well, I think you’ll find within the sixth or eighth week they start to feel love and may ask you for a relationship. All you need to do is be yourself, be confident! This is a big mistake men make, you don’t have to be the best looking guy in the room, you have to be the most confident guy in the room! There’s a thin line between confidence and as…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 04:16 PM
10

I discovered after getting divorced and dating could be tricky, so I came up with a TikTok channel that addressed dating after a divorce, if you have women ghosting you or telling you they want to take a break between date and date? Is there any possibility that maybe you’re over pursuing? One thing men do a lot, and it’s really incorrect, is that they over pursue a woman, which makes them feel like you want them more than they want you and that’s gonna turn them off. I’m not saying that’s what …
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 04:12 PM
2

She went back to college when she was 36.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 01:50 PM
1

You just handle it one day at a time, brother, do you have any pets? It actually helps plus your brain if it’s healthy won’t even let you get in any kind of relationship anytime soon, it’s going to try to protect you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 01:49 PM
1

Didn’t need to do anything, if she puts a loan in her name, only especially if it’s school debt, the other spouse has nothing to do with it, there was absolutely no judgment needed. I did have them right in the divorce that she could not touch my inheritance, even though in Michigan, it’s a law the other spouse can’t get any of that money either anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 01:49 AM
10

I am 2 1/2 years past my divorce and I’m alone, I do date though when I want, but I’m basically alone. It takes a little bit to get over being alone, especially if you find your co-dependent ? I made sure to break that habit along time ago, I don’t wanna be by myself, my whole life, but I know my roommate very well and we just happen to like the same things, lol Look at the end of the day, sunset is beautiful, but it’s even better if you have your arms around somebody that you love, here’s what …
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 01:16 AM
2

I don’t know about Texas, but I’m up in Michigan and my ex-wife went back to college got her student loan in her own name that was $100,000 and I was not responsible for one penny of it!
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 12:58 AM
1

Tells me that you do whatever is going to make you feel good, I’m an atheist, have been since I was 10 years old, but let me say this to you, don’t just sit there and give it up to your God, you have to make theeffort yourself, you have to make the improvements in yourself, nobody in this world is going to heal you, but you! If you sit there and wait for a celestial being to show you the way and heal you, you’re gonna be damaged for years to come.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 03:53 PM
2

My ex-wife literally changed her last name back to her maiden name right in the middle of the divorce proceedings, I didn’t give a shit! I absolutely love that my kids all have my last name and not their moms! Plus, that last name is a reflection of my family, and I don’t want my ex-wife out there living her life the way that she does with my last name.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 03:26 PM
2

Most likely not going to happen, we all have fantasies, and most don’t come true, and probably this won’t either.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 03:25 PM
1

You’re wayyyyyyyyy too much in your head about this, you’ve got to find your anger. My suggestion, honestly, get yourself a psychiatrist and start to work on self-respect and self-worth, if you had self-respect and self-worth, you would stop allowing her to buy you at such a deep discount. The reason you’re still emotional for a wife that cheated on you and abused you, it’s because you don’t respect yourself very much and you don’t think that you have much worth, you’ll get there, but stop being…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 03:25 PM
2

We all have been where you are, and if we come off a little bit crashes because we’re passed your level of healing. Stop looking at her for who she was in the past or who you thought she was, she is exactly exactly who you think she is today! An an extremely toxic, out of control, chaos maker that you don’t need in your life. Would you run towards food poisoning and eat it? Then don’t run towards a toxic person and have emotions for them, one of the greatest things for my health, was dropping al…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 03:22 PM
2

Hey man, she sounds like an extremely toxic person, be glad that she is out of your life, but you have to allow her to get out of your life! Why you’re shocked is because you still care about her and you cannot believe this is the person that you married. We’ve all been there, let her go! You have to get through the acceptance phase of healing, to accept what’s in front of you, to accept she is who she is, and accept that you will never take her back in your life. Let her go and ruin her life, a…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 03:20 PM
1

Always do a background check.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 02:03 PM
1

Hahaha! Not true, but…..it helps. I get so much tail now, lol 😝
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 10:46 PM
1

Appreciate the conversation, but I’m gonna bail, we’re making a circle here. What you’re asking people to do is take their self-respect, which is upmost important and basically throw it into the trash, people don’t cheat on you by accident, you don’t go outside trip on the sidewalk and cheat on somebody. Cheating is a planned event, and generally doesn’t only happen once it’ll happen over and over with that person you cheated with. It’s disturbing to me that you believe that sometimes cheating j…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 04:50 PM
1

You’re living in a dreamworld, some of us who have actually been through this scenario live now in a real world, based on percentages and realism. You’re clinging to something that doesn’t exist, the numbers and research are not on your side. People don’t generally change, all of us have seen this pattern on here, guy gets cheated on guy takes woman back, and she cries and everybody’s happy and he forgives her and then 2 to 3 years down the road she cheats again, the percentages are pretty much …
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 12:14 PM
1

There’s a fine line between being bitter, and just looking at things, realistically through experience and knowing the percentage of failure or success. I don’t know of many psychiatrists that would tell you to go back to a cheater, they would tell you that the trust has been broken and to rebuild that trust is an exceedingly difficult task that many couples cannot perform. That’s because it takes some degree of lying to yourself and making excuses for the partner that cheated. How many times ha…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 12:10 PM
5

THANK YOU finally some common sense. Holy crap!
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 08:16 PM
3

Some of these guys are screwed, they truly lack self worth, you cannot take back a cheater, let’s lone a MULTIPLE cheater, if you take her back, you’re telling her that it’s OK to cheat, what happened was her guy didn’t work out and now she’s trying to pull her ex back off the bench, because she knows that he’s kind of a sucker for her, cannot believe some you guys enabling this guy, it’s nauseating.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 08:16 PM
1

Weak
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 08:14 PM
1

Seriously, Man, what is wrong with you? What is wrong with any of you that take package cheater? Have any of you honestly have your divorces taken a couple of years to really study relationships, go to psychiatry and work on yourself? Nobody with any real intellect or self-respect would take back a cheater, this is absolutely awful advice. She cannot be trusted, and where there is no trust, there is no relationship, all you’re doing is an enabling him, some you guys are in deep trouble, why be a…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 08:13 PM
3

You’re way off base, and after reading his post, you still think this? Guys like you should not be giving advice to other people, including men, it’s obvious you have not worked on yourself One bit. Pathetic.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 08:11 PM
3

Yep! She a real winner 🥇
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 08:10 PM
6

Yep, I’ve had 1 small 2 minute convo with my ex in 3.5 years, about the kids. I don’t give emotional tape worms any attention.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 08:09 PM
2

Yea, super weakness.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 08:08 PM
1

NEVER
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 07:59 PM
1

You’re lucky you got out early, but I really do have to ask you, man! You knew this person for 17 years, are you trying to tell me, not one piece of her character flaws were shown to you? You had to see some red flags.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 07:59 PM
2

There’s a light but it’s gonna take years to rebuild, I’m on year 2 1/2 and I probably need another 3 to 3 1/2 years, it’s a tough goal, but my mental health is so much better and my self-respect has skyrocketed!
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 07:28 PM
1

ABSOLUTELY facts! Indifference is power, learned that super quick. And…..she was already cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 03:20 PM
3

My divorce had a huge fat silver lining for me, but unfortunately, for my three kids did not. Sadly, their mother has decided not to be a parent anymore, she hasn’t been a parent in almost 3 years and she just told two of my kids. She’s moving an hour away with her boyfriend and they’re gonna have to find a place to live, just found out she was also gone all summer long and my 17-year-old at 21-year-old had to take care of the house and buy all the food, it’s even more difficult when you don’t h…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 11:08 PM
2

Yes, and no, the Internet is sort of like a gun, laying by itself. It’s really nothing to worry about, but when a particular person picks that gun up or gets on social media, it’s their perception of things that turn those things into danger. The problem nowadays, is most people just simply do not think for themselves, they have allowed the Internet, politicians, friends, and family, and everybody else to do all the thinking for them, we have to get back to critical thinking. I honestly wish the…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 04:44 PM
1

Your theory is plausible, but a lot of times when a woman starts complaining, they’re actually telling you what they need, now what they need is an always what’s good for their relationship either, unfortunately, it’s a very tricky game to play. But it’s still a possibility that he wasn’t allowing her to be herself, and being married eight years or 26 years or 45 years it doesn’t matter people stay in relationships for decades, and they shouldn’t, because they have absolutely no connection anymo…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 12:54 PM
1

As someone who is more of a cannabis user than an alcohol user, I can pretty much finish off a bottle of wine and barely be drunk, the alcohol levels in wine are pretty low, more than a beer though! Is she obviously drunk? You can see society has made this big push for women to be wine Drinkers, it’s almost like a trend at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 08:01 PM
1

With added Intel, about her driving drunk with your kids? I’m sorry, but if you’re getting the divorce and you’re going to split custody, you have to tell the police about her being an alcoholic, she should have to use a breathalyzer to start her car, I know you’re thinking about your kids safety, you have to do something about that.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 08:00 PM
1

There’s really only a couple things that you can do, the question is will she go to get help? If she won’t go to get help and she won’t admit that she has a problem? Then you need to make the decision, if you can live with her like that, I personally could not, I don’t like drama, and I don’t like a lack of stability in my life, and alcoholics or addiction cause chaos. However! If she is willing to go to a 12 step program or AA, then you could hang with her and see how she does , addiction is ve…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 07:59 PM
1

You make a good point, however, it could go the other direction as well, she may feel awkward as well having both of her parents and one of the parents new partners there as well, it’s kind of a tossup.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 12:44 AM
5

First off, when a woman tells you they don’t know what they want? What that means is I’m not completely sure how well I’m going to do out in the dating market and I may need to fall back on you because the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know. So let’s get that clear first. This is very common for a woman to say, it’s awful and nauseating, but it’s a little game they play. If she just popped the restraining order on you out of nowhere? That tells me she’s either talked to frien…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 07:00 PM
3

I agree 100% with you, that’s actually what I’m saying, as long as you’re organized and have your ducks in a row you have a really good shot in court at getting what you want. The problem also that’s helping us out in comparison is this, many women have just gone off the rails lately, it’s not a political thing or anything like that, it just seems like more women Are using extremely bad behavior, which is allowing Dad’s to finally be seen as a very credible single parent. I know at least three m…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 02:19 PM
5

I know this is going to go against the grain, but we have to be realistic gentleman, we have to look at the world as it is today, not the way it was 20 years ago ago. I see more and more men doing better and better in divorce court, I think those times are behind us, I realize there’s probably some unfair judgments against men still, but I really do not believe it’s as bad as it used to be. One of the reasons is, women are now acting on some of the worst behavior! Which makes the man look much m…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 01:27 PM
2

Exactly, there’s just isn’t a reason for marriage, and I really do think when a lot of women want to get married the second time, they are really doing it for love. I don’t think they’re trying to get into your pockets. The problem is, and it’s funny that women never think about this, if the other partner does something stupid, that relationship is probably gonna end and you’re gonna lose 50% of your stuff! That includes you women! my plan if I’m ever faced with this, a woman can come live at my…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 01:24 PM
2

Exactly! Other than your theology? Why would you want to get married, you’re absolutely gambling half of everything you own on your wife, not making any big mistakes and you just can’t do that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 03:01 PM
6

Finding a girlfriend isn’t honestly that hard of a task, finding the right person once you learn what you really need in a partner is much more difficult! Just going out and getting laid on a Saturday night is easy, but finding a real partner who has real over the top compatibility that will last long-term, is a rarity, all you can do is keep trying, and you’ll know when you find her. She may even be something you didn’t even think, may not look what you thought like she may look, may not be the…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 03:01 PM
1

I mean? My ex-wife sort of did it after the divorce! I mean to my kids, she met a new guy and basically has a abandoned my three kids, they barely see her and she moved an hour away, just bailed on two of them so now they’re living with me. The truth of the matter is, I’m not sure we understand who we actually married at all half the time. I think about the fantasy of just packing my shit and running away all the time, but I can’t do that, when I had kids, I made a vow of sorts, that I would be …
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 02:20 PM
7

If you have to put cameras in your house, to protect you from your wife’s accusations? You already have a decision made, get a divorce! This doesn’t get better, this will get worse and worse overtime, you say that she’s bipolar? Has her meds been dialed incorrectly? That makes a huge difference. But there’s no way I would live like this, there’s no way, if she’s being medicated correctly, it’s time for you to leave, threatening divorce is not what you wanna do, you need to unfortunately pull the…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 11:48 AM
1

I realize there’s probably a double standard, but I’m trying to read in between the lines of what she told you, I think she feels she can’t actually be herself in front of you, and that if she is the real her in front of you that you’re going to judge her, I don’t have any idea why? You would know better than medoesn’t necessarily did anything wrong, she could be blaming you for something she should be doing naturally anyway, but it always helps to go to a psychiatrist as well and maybe compartm…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 05:27 PM
1

You got lucky my friend, I ended up picking a woman Psychiatrist, and she’s awesome! She told me on the first appointment. I won’t be coming back there for 23 years at a time, that we’re going to dig again and knock this thing out and get over it, she had a very aggressive approach and I liked it. I always stuck up for myself, always been masculine, but after a long marriage and having three kids and understanding that I was the only one of the adults that honestly cared about the family making …
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 01:21 PM
2

That’s great news, like I said not all therapists are garbage. The ones that actually want to be there, that actually want to help people, will keep educating themselves and become very good therapists. It’s just a rare occasion, congratulations on your healing process! Remember though, indifference is power when dating and being in a relationship. Not brutal indifference, but indifference, all the same.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 01:16 PM
1

Psychiatrist are trained much deeper than a therapist is, I cannot tell you the people who have told me of having to switch therapists one after the other because they’re simply not qualified, I see better results with psychiatrists. I saw Psychiatrist during my divorce and it was great! I had tried a couple of therapists before her, and they were absolute trash! Didn’t remember who I was, really didn’t care why I was there, they just were there to make money. I’m not saying all therapists are b…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 01:08 PM
1

I really think that was not needed, and I’m usually tough on guys on here, you don’t know how long into this this guy is, if he’s only a few months or a year? You know damn well it feels like death every minute you’re alive, if it’s been five years? Then feel free to call him a pussy!but you should know there are to this, you can’t just take a wide brush and solve everybody’s problems with the Man conversation! We need to know how long or how deep he’s into this. However, I agree with 100% of ev…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 08:45 PM
1

To help you answer that question I need to know a couple of things, are you going to a psychiatrist? And how long outside your divorce or your separation are you?
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 08:44 PM
1

I’m also going to recommend that you talk to somebody such as a psychiatrist not a therapist, psychiatrist will help you to try to build some speck of self-respect and self-worth, when you have actual self-respect, you don’t sell yourself at a deep discount and you don’t allow people to treat you poorly. I had to learn this lesson as well, and how powerful of a lesson it was once I learned it. I know this word gets slammed, but you’re simping after her, that’s not attractive. It won’t be attract…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 05:42 PM
2

Your wife’s a cheater man, she has low character! Low character people cheat, high character people walk away, I’m not sure what you’re seeing that you like so much? I think you’re seeing you completely asleep at the wheel, allowing somebody to disrespect you, but still feeling cozy in that situation. That’s a problem! Please talk to somebody about this and start to work on your self-respect.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 05:40 PM
2

May I recommend getting a hold of a really good psychiatrist, not a therapist! Get a hold of a good Psychiatrist and start to work on your self-respect and self-worth, as soon as she cheated, if you would’ve had self-respect and self-worth, You would’ve ended the marriage right then and there, life is a learning experience and a painful one at that. You haven’t gotten through the acceptance phase of healing yet, you have to get to the next phase, which is anger, she disrespected you and made you…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 05:39 PM
3

Sorry for your loss, mental issues unfortunately are never a good thing in a relationship, it’s sad really.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 02:25 PM
7

Dude…… go to a Psychiatrist immediately and start working on your self-respect self-worth, because you’re allowing your wife to buy you at a very deep discount! She’s running away from you my friend! She moved out so she can have sex with other men, that’s obvious. She’s yanking your chain because you’re allowing it and she knows that she can use you manipulate, stop trying to fix it. It’s broken and it’s never coming back, it’s time for you to accept this and just go to the lawyer and get the d…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 02:18 PM
2

Women are better manipulators than men are, I think it has to do with them not being generally physically able to handle us, so they have to do it with words, and that’s where the manipulation comes in, you never truly know how they feel, you should never take their words as evidence, look at their actions, their actions will always tell you how they really feel. Here’s an example, my ex-wife would be at home with a day off and I would be working eight hours and at the end of my shift she would …
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 01:50 PM
2

So I think what you’re asking is, did we see any red flags, that would indicate the probability of divorce? Absolutely! When your wife doesn’t kiss you or hug you or allow you to say I love you for nine years! You sort of get the hint something is terribly broken, lol. We had no sex life, just absolutely void of any affection from her side. She was the most shocked when I rolled over in bed one day and told her that I was out that I didn’t want her to be my wife anymore and then I wanted it out …
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 01:48 PM
2

Oh really? I was dating a girl in Canada and they have to wait a year as well nationally anyway. In Michigan it’s six months and I actually went to the judge and got it pulled ahead three months early, it was glorious! My lawyer didn’t even show up for my divorce, I basically defended myself at the end, crazy!
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 12:14 AM
1

The army of darkness was the bomb!
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 12:09 AM
2

You’ll be all right, brother, Psychiatrist say, that it takes somewhere around one year for every five years you were married to sort of heal and get your rebuilding really on the right track, that means I’ve got 3 1/2 years left, will get there!
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 10:29 PM
5

I’m not trying to be a jerk man! I really promise you that, but I don’t know for the life of me, how you still have fairy dust in your eyes? A lot of us see relationships for what they actually are, they can be great in the beginning, but then they can change in the middle and towards the end. You don’t think that you can be devoted to somebody? Unless you sign a piece of paper? That makes no sense at all, you realize there were binds of matrimony that was before Judaism, Christianity, and Islam…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 10:23 PM
3

Let me ask you a question, why would you get married again? Do you want to have kids? Is it a religious reason? Outside of those two things there is absolutely no reason for anybody to get married. I told the woman that I was dating that I was never gonna marry, and if she wanted to do something, we could do some pagan thing on the beach somewhere where I didn’t have to sign a government contract and I would be all for it. But, I don’t need marriage anymore, a marriage certificate is a really te…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 10:12 PM
10

Let me give you some facts first, men are eight times more likely to commit suicide after a divorce than a woman is. So it’s not uncommon to feel that way, I myself went through three months back in 2019 when I found about my wife’s infidelity, that I was really in a dark place and on the edge, by month 3 1/2 my spine started to come back and I knew my kids needed at least one parent in their life, never thought about it since then. Don’t do it! This will pass my friend, but it’s going to take a…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 07:47 PM
2

Yep, yep, yep!
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 07:45 PM
18

If you look at the research, it is really interesting. Second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages, my gut tells me, in a lot of those marriages, infidelity was involved and The cheating spouse went out and married their AP partner, and it just fell apart quick. I also think people just get married, almost as validation to their friends and family and ex spouse that see people like me! See! I can get married and everybody still likes me! I really believe a lot of that second…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 07:44 PM
2

You’ve got to get over your ex-wife, I mentioned this in above post, you haven’t gotten through the acceptance phase, I can tell you right now if you don’t get through the acceptance phase, you’re never going to heal because you’re never gonna move onto the next levels of healing, you need to accept the situation, you need to understand that your wife is part of your past now and that’s where she probably belongs, you don’t look in your review mirror, you know what’s back there there’s no reason…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 07:41 PM
1

Agree, 100%
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 07:39 PM
3

My gut tells me you’re in the early stages of healing, you have to get through the acceptance phase, and I have a feeling you have not gotten through the acceptance phase of your healing yet, I would also recommend a psychiatrist, somebody you can talk to at least twice a month if not, three times a month to help you compartmentalize your thoughts, it helped me a lot!
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 07:38 PM
2

These statements are very true, I’m on year 3 1/2 and I would say after two years I was completely indifferent to my ex-wife, I honestly could care less if I ever saw or spoke to her again and I don’t think about her ever. Keep in touch with your son, it’ll tie you to family still, and make you feel better, you have purpose! You still need to be there as the masculine role model to your son. my ex isn’t even allowed to call me or come to my home or my place of work, she can only text about sched…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 07:37 PM
3

Most important thing is to figure out if your codependent, were you happy if your wife was happy? Did your wife’s happiness dictate if you were happy? If so, you’re codependent! I’ve updated now for 3 1/2 years and have no steady, it’s not that I don’t want, it’s just that I realize it takes a long time to find that perfect person, I got closer to a year ago, but she wanted an open relationship and I just can’t go for that. if you find your codependent, do yourself a favor and stay alone for two…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 07:35 PM
9

Here’s the thing, we all probably felt that way in the beginning, but after a while you become indifferent, I also lost my job of almost 30 years so did most of the vets, we’re looking at a class action suit against our employer, but! At some point, the trauma leaves such a thick Scar tissue that you just don’t feel hardly anything anymore, I probably have four total emotions, hopefully more come back overtime, but it’s some point your body just won’t take anymore crap and you’ll just start not …
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 12:03 AM
16

Hahaha!!!!! Right?! Two months after my ex-wife filed for divorce, she sent me down and asked me if she ever had a flat tire or needed something if she can call me, I smiled broadly and said absolutely not! Lol she said to me, you mean after 26 years you’re just gonna disappear And not associate with me except for the kids? Which I responded, sooooooo…you banged one of my best friends after 26 years of marriage? Sounds like you better get a man in your life, because I’m not the guy. She cried an…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 08:40 PM
11

Unfortunately, women learn this early and age usually from their mother, they learn how to steamroll, guilt trip, and manipulate men to get them to do what they want to, because generally, they’re not physically able to make them do something they don’t want to do. I am absolutely not shocked that your ex-wife wants you to still come over and do your husbandly duties, she has to understand that she broke the contract! Everything at her house is her responsibility not yours, too bad, so sad! Don’…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 08:36 PM
1

You’re in a bad position right now, and you obviously need some guidance, it was a good idea to actually come here. So let me lay this out to you, I had a 26 year marriage blowup in my face because my ex started cheating on me, and who knows how many times? If you want your self-respect and yourself worth back? The divorce is the only way to go about it. What’s happening right now is this, she knows that she can treat you any damn way that she wants to and you will just sit there and take it, it…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 04:04 PM
23

His wife came up to my work and told me and showed me pictures! I thanked his wife for telling me, she was a barracuda.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 01:26 AM
2

True
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 05:28 PM
12

So I’m about 3 1/2 years ahead of you with the divorce thing, let me go ahead and put your mind at ease on a few things, first things first, women have a terrible time taking accountability for their actions and most of them never say they’re sorry. Don’t look for any apology, don’t look for her to see the damage that she’s created, Even if she knew she was wrong, she won’t admit it to you or anybody else. If your ex is anything like mine, never speak poorly of her in front of the kids, because …
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 04:39 PM
2

I disagree with you full heartedly, a failure is when you know better and you keep making the same mistake over and over, that is a failure! When you make a lifelong decision in your 20s, when you know, damn well! Our kids are now on their 20s and they can’t even decide between what they want, you can’t make lifelong decision in your 20s and that’s really what too many marriages, lack of experience, making lifelong decisions, that’s not a failure, that’s just learning the hard way. Getting divor…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 04:17 PM
1

I don’t know how you consider yourself a fairly year, when you’re at 50%! You do realize that your in somewhat of the majority right? Remember that divorce rates in truth hon around 50% and if you take the couples who stay together and are miserable together until the day they pass away, you’re honestly probably looking at 70% marriage failure. I do believe a marriage can stay together forever, but it’s an extremely rare case! So don’t get down, feel worse about all the years you threw away on t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 04:15 PM
1

Take it from somebody who has been dating now 3 1/2 years after a 26 year marriage where my ex-wife cheated as well, this is super important for any guys getting back into dating, please and I mean, please! Do not over pursue women, it will make you look weak and needy, and they will run away from you, I’m not saying that you did, but do not over pursue women! And remember something very important, when dealing with women, indifference is power! They like you? wonderful! they don’t want to talk …
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 12:14 AM
1

This is exactly the way I feel, be ready for people to call you jaded though because you feel this way. It always cracks me up when people want you to be buddies with your ex wife? What business is it of theirs, here’s what you’re really shooting for, you’re shooting for indifference! When you become indifferent to your past relationship, you are truly healing, I am completely indifferent to my cheating wife now, I don’t think about her, I can honestly care less about her and I really don’t care…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 05:51 PM
1

I suppose I’ll say good luck? But I guess I’m confused, you gotta do what you feel right, but four divorces? My question to you is, why are you continuing to get married? Is there a theological reason or something like that? This means you’ve lost half of your stuff four times man! I just don’t understand some peoples reasoning behind getting married over and over and over, best of luck, try to stay out of the government contract thing for a while! You know you can live with somebody 30 years an…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 02:17 PM
2

It actually sounds like you’re doing pretty well, my man, keep going! I don’t know how long you’re married, but you’re probably gonna take at least five years to make a full turnaround, best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 01:51 PM
11

Unfortunately, I had a cheating wife, and nobody had to talk me into it, as soon as I found out, I went and got divorce papers and got out of there. And I don’t think every wife who wants a divorce is cheating, there’s lots of reasons for wanting to divorce, however, there are red flags that preempt a divorce that you can tell if somebody’s cheating, if they’ve gone cold, the sex dries up pretty quickly, they no longer text or call you during the day, then you know they have a landing pad on the…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 01:50 PM
3

You’re gonna get a lot of good advice on here, and even myself I can be a bit long-winded, but this problem really doesn’t take a lot of dialogue, you don’t need to know if she’s an alcoholic you really don’t, you know if she’s an alcoholic already, personally speaking? You already don’t have children so this makes a divorce much easier, you may love her, you may adore her? But you simply can’t live with her or be in a marriage with her, what you have right now is a boat anchor around your neck …
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 11:05 PM
3

Who down votes this? Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 10:48 PM
1

I guess I don’t quite understand what happened in your case, when you talk about alienation for four years? Are you telling me that if you traveled to her house to see your children, that she would not allow you to see them? Because there are definitely laws against that. Unless the kids are legal age and they make the decision not to see you. even grandparents have laws that if they’re not allowed to see their grandchildren, they can actually sue the parents. I’m in Michigan, so maybe your laws…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 10:47 PM
5

I’m sorry, but that’s a lot of shit! When someone alienate you from your own children and they have to do some stupid ass community service? That’s a joke! With all due respect, she should be serving anywhere from one to three years in jail. Because in essence, it’s a form of child abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 08:46 PM
4

Huge congrats my man! But I have to ask, if she was found guilty of alienating you away from your children, isn’t she in some legal trouble herself? I would think other than you having the right to finally see your kids would be obviously one of the solutions, but I would think maybe a jail term or parole or probation for her for long-term would also be in the works, am I wrong?
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 08:44 PM
1

Definitely does not haunt my dreams, she’s just one of my life’s largest regrets, wish I would’ve never of met her. Would love for her or just not to even be in the picture, considering I’m basically a single parent because she dropped out a site along time ago, I think it would be easier on my children if they could only focus on one parent.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 02:03 PM
2

So you got a couple things going on probably, she’s sorry she blew her entire family to pieces probably for her own selfish reasons, and there’s a possibility she actually does care for you and act absolutely takes accountability for her actions, but has she? The thing is once a cheater does it they’ll do it again, it’s sort of like breaking a moral Hyman if you know what I mean? Cheaters are low character people, it’s not worth the hassle. Plus, you’ll never be able to get past the acceptance p…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 11:59 PM
1

I’ve never heard of spiritual bypassing, I’m gonna look that up, now that makes a lot of sense! I never went on a date with a spiritual woman, I would have the phone call first to see if there’s a vibe and new right then and there on that phone call. There’s no way I’m even gonna go on a first date with them, I would tell them my opinions or some of my boundaries, and they would basically attack me and say that I’m enlightened , and I’m not putting up with that shit! Spent two years out of my li…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 09:21 PM
1

Yes, I have actually found the same thing. But here’s what you’re missing, they don’t care about how they impact others, it’s sad because they think spirituality is actually kind of a cool thing, but almost all the women I’ve ever met who were spiritual? or self-righteous, self-absorbed and quite honestly super selfish! It was all about them and not about you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 08:46 PM
1

You’re going to get there, buddy, but when the ferry dust gets blown out of your eyes like it does a lot of people women included in divorce, the world is a much more truthful place, but it’s a lot colder out there as well. Make sure not to go into dating if you’re codependent, break that codependency it took me two years of being alone to break it. When I go on a date, I can tell within the first five minutes if it’s something I wanna stay in long-term, you gotta get to the anger stage of your …
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 01:21 PM
2

Brother! I was in my marriage, headed towards divorce, working out daily, lost 40 pounds and I really wasn’t even overweight, redid my wardrobe and she still said it wasn’t enough! You can’t feel sad about that, don’t you get it? When a woman is done with you! There is nothing that’s gonna bring her back, nothing! Maybe if you hit the lotto for millions and millions of dollars you might get her back so she can use you, but when a woman’s done? They are done! And nothing you can do is going to he…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 09:44 PM
2

I was cheated on, so I was already excepting of her being with other people, and I honestly shocked myself by how indifferent I even was to it, proves that my love for her had died quickly! So I honestly didn’t go through any of that, if you don’t have any resolution of why the marriage is ending? That’s difficult because you don’t know if you honestly did anything wrong or there’s something you need to work on or it may be her! She could be the problem as well, but it would be nice to have more…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 03:13 PM
2

Nah, you’re cool 😎
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 07:52 PM
2

Thanks so much for stopping by, I can save for me at least, I always would like to hear a woman’s perspective, it’s either going to teach me something or a firm something I already know, welcome! I wish the female sub Reddits were as welcoming, I’ve been kicked out of two for honestly no reason at all.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 03:05 PM
1

Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 08:43 PM
2

I think, psychologically speaking, you’re what is referred to as a people pleaser. People pleasers find it difficult to say the word no! May I recommend picking up the book? No more Mr. nice guy! I think your specific situation it would help you Brake these bad behaviors. I bought the book got through three chapters and figured out real quick. I’m not a nice guy, lol I still have it. I’d mail it to you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 07:58 PM
2

First off that age difference is pretty large, secondly, you made some glaring mistakes and the weird thing is, you kept making the same mistake over and over and you really can’t fall back on an experience, there was some common sense things here that you absolutely screwed the pooch on. If your female partner was reaching out to other men and spending her quality time or free time with them, trying to solve all of their problems or hitting on guys at the gas station and getting thirst trapped …
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 07:51 PM
2

I respect your opinion, but I disagree with it, I think it depends on how old your children are, my one daughter was 14 and my boys were in their early 20s, they don’t need a motherly influence right now, but my daughter surely did, but nobody is ever going to replace the original mother, and since she no longer wants to be a mom, it’s on me to be the only parent. Good for you getting married again, I personally think it’s insane, but that’s me, I will never and I mean never marry anybody again …
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 05:53 PM
3

Used to be happy wife happy life. Now I’d like to find the person that came up with that, and come up off the floor and put a fist directly in the middle of their mouth! It’s one of the most ignorant things I’ve ever ever heard of my life, that tells a man, to give up all the things you enjoy doing, your hobbies, your interests and your friends and do whatever your wife wants because if she’s happy, that makes you happy! Can you think of anything more disgusting and nauseating than that? Why wou…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 05:50 PM
1

Yep!!! Eventually, the kids see who’s putting in the effort. I just feel terrible that my kids just don’t really have a mother, I’ve never seen a woman want kids and then abandons them, that’s an odd one I haven’t seen before. I honestly think she has a mental issue and needs psychiatric help. She was never content with anything in her life, including me or the kids or together it seems like she’s always searching for something that she can’t find, might sound, but I can’t wait for her to go thr…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 12:22 PM
3

A little bit of advice from a dad that was a estranged from his daughter for almost a year because my ex-wife kept tearing me down in front of her, now that’s one thing I never did, and I will recommend you never do, don’t ever talk crap about the kids, mom in front of them, you will never win that fight! If you’re a good dad? Because I don’t know if you are? But if you are a good dad, keep being a good dad, text them every other day. Tell them that you love them tell them that you miss them. As…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 03:13 PM
1

Right!!!!!! This poor guy is kind of lost, he needs to go check out Cory Wayne on YouTube or by Cory Wayne’s book 3% man, it’s a great book. It’s not the alpha male, red pill bullshit, it’s actual usable information that goes right at the heart of chemistry between men and women, unfortunately, we need to know how to play the game better than they do, we need to know their emotional state before they even know it, there is a way to win at this.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 11:11 PM
1

Sooooo, huh???? With all due respect, you didn’t call her out on anything, lol what you did was whine about her feeling indifferent about you, when what you should have done is shown complete and utter indifference towards her like it doesn’t even bother you like it rolls right off your back, that would’ve been putting the screws to her emotionally, what you did is show her that you were hurt by the way, she feels about you and you ended up giving her the upper hand, sorry Man but you’re not pla…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 11:10 PM
3

Welcome to your freedom, couple things you need to start doing, go to the gym and start working out. If you need to lose a few pounds, go to Men’s Wearhouse go to the clearance section and load up on a new wardrobe. You can literally get $65 shirts for 15 bucks. Try to communicate as little as possible during the divorce, you need to heal you need to get through the acceptance phase, and having her in your life after the divorce is going to hamper your healing, if you guys decided to be buddies …
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 02:34 PM
2

I’ve never had any issues with it when I was separated for a year I dated nonstop and I was very honest with the women that I went out with, they understood and they never gave me any problems about it, but don’t look for anybody to commit to you, while you’re still married and really, you shouldn’t be looking for any commitments for at least one to two years down the road, just be honest with women you’re going out with so they know exactly where they stand from the first date and I think it’s …
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 01:19 PM
1

So true.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 06:53 PM
1

Indifference is one of the most powerful tools that you have, even when starting a relationship, not being a jerk but a touch of indifference makes a big deal. It’s always been helpful for me.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 06:52 PM
2

Wow! It boggles your mind how some women can just not be maternal after having the kids? I’m dealing with that with my ex-wife right now, she wanted these three kids so badly and now she’s just walked away from him so she can move in with her boyfriend an hour away and the gate her kids all together, it’s a disaster! I’m trying to collect everybody together, but I’m gonna have to come up with some solution for their living arrangement because she’s basically walking out on two of my kids and mov…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 02:31 PM
3

If his buddies knew that she was cheating on him and didn’t tell him? That’s not friendship, I’ll tell you exactly what that is, the wolves smell a female that was willing to play around and they were trying to line her up to have sex with her that’s why they didn’t tell their buddy, this guy got to get out of that Wolfpack and join another one, he’s got a dump all these toxic POS!
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 02:56 PM
5

Her cheating while they were dating was bad enough, but she was also texting an ex-boyfriend six months into the marriage? Yeah, man! I don’t give a shit about her career. I don’t give a shit about her paycheck to paycheck situation, put her back on the streets where she belongs! She obviously doesn’t respect you and took you for granted during the honeymoon Years of your marriage, lol three years? I can do three years standing on my head, she sure in the hell isn’t gonna make 20 years without c…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 02:54 PM
6

Hahaha!!! How true is that? Seriously though, women or at least a majority women cannot deny they take no accountability and I’ll be damned if you ever hear. I’m sorry out of them, it’s really weird.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 02:53 PM
2

First things first, realize you can do whatever you want now, you can have whatever you want for dinner, you can come home whenever you want to, you could go on vacation wherever you want to, you could go out and update your wardrobe, you don’t really have to answer to anybody! That’s what you need to start feeling is that freedom, look I was codependent. I’m not gonna lie about it, I’ve been single for 3 1/2 years now! But I’ve been dating the whole time, but I’m not in any committed relationsh…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 03:57 PM
2

I watched my mom and dad‘s marriage fail for almost 30 years, when a woman is truly done with you, she cannot stand the way you breathe, the way you walk, the way you chew your food that’s all indications of a partner, especially a woman, that is absolutely done with you, that’s why that was happening. Before I divorced, my ex-wife, she started pulling that shit with me, one day I picked up all my bedding and moved it to one of the other bedrooms and she asked me what I was doing? And I said loo…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 01:45 PM
1

I’m telling you unless the situation at home became actually dangerous! Meaning you were beating her up or you were risking her life in someway, that just drop and run with no way to actually pay for it? Tells me absolutely that she’s cheating and she’s probably getting a little financial help from her family, which is fine actually. but when a partner just flips out and leaves a relationship like turning on a light switch? It’s a pure indication that they are absolutely cheating on you. The onl…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 01:44 PM
2

OK, so there’s a couple things going on here, the way she’s acting, tells me she either suffers with acute narcissism or you’ve allowed her to groom you over the years and now any resistance you give her is met with pushback from her, almost shock! That you would dare step outside her boundaries or her rules! She’s not even talking about for God sake? Hope she never goes to Europe, they show butts and boobs and everything else and you know what that society or those societies are fine with it. Y…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 01:41 PM
1

I don’t want you to be insulted by this or get Angry, but I’m just going by what you posted, if you get off on women disrespecting you, humiliating you in public and her lying to other people, telling them that you’re abusive? To me I think it’s sexualized personally, I think you’re probably a cuck. I think you have fetishized your own demise, and it’s really dangerous, you need mental help. You should be going to Psychiatrist as soon as possible, because you’re allowing somebody to drag you dow…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 01:15 PM
4

It’s not that I completely disagree with what you’re saying, I actually got the Mister nice guy book and within one chapter realized I’m not a nice guy! Lol so I tossed away and got Cory Wayne’s 3% man! Really good book, but I think some of the problem here is not that he’s just an overly nice guy, I think he doesn’t wanna blow his family apart and so he puts up with her behavior, now personally? I do blame this a lot on the wife, when you’re getting your way, 100% you have to understand that th…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 09:17 PM
3

You need to really get to the acceptance phase of healing, maybe talk to a mental healthcare worker, you’re going to miss somebody who disrespected you and clowned you and cheated on you? Come on man! Don’t you think you’re better than that? Seriously?
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 08:02 PM
4

Here’s the thing, if you do things correctly and by the way, I recommend going to a psychiatrist and working through this I did that on and off for about a year and it really helped me. Jekyll and Hyde meaning the woman I was dating was really nice to me, but I saw her absolutely road rage once and absolutely lose her shit on some waitstaff at a nice restaurant we were at for no real reason and I’m not putting up with that, because I know one day I’m gonna be on the end of her rage and I’m not s…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 01:16 PM
7

It takes a long time my man, I’m at 2 1/2 years, but three years if you count the separation, you probably have emotional numbing, which is also called disassociation, it’s your brains way to protect itself from any more incoming trauma, I’ve dated more than I’ve ever dated over the last three years Had some good times but only met two women that were truly compatible, unfortunately I can now see red flags 16 miles away and they both had unfortunate parts of them that I couldn’t live with, One w…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 01:02 PM
2

The thing is this, she’s decided to leave you. She has no income that can support her life, but she took the step anyway? Either she really dislikes you that much? Or she knows she has a soft landing pad on the other side, and I’m thinking she has a soft landing pad, when these things come out of nowhere and they’re actually smiling and giddy about the whole thing you can guarantee they’re cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 12:36 PM
9

Sorry buddy, but….this is War! Act like it, and she’s talking crap about you? She’s cheating, I’m pretty sure.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 01:33 AM
9

A lot of responders are going to tell you how to handle the situation and you’re gonna be fine, but it’s gonna take a lot of time. However, and I’m sure you’ve thought of this, you made all the money. She stayed home and made no money and now she is divorcing you and doing what? If she’s been out of the work field for that long, she’s going to have no skills that anybody’s gonna wanna hire her or at least not for a rate that she can actually make a living, which makes me think something…… it mak…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 12:31 AM
1

Psychiatrists, psychotherapist and psychologist are your key, they’re all PhD, therapists are a hit or miss, I’ve seen more bad therapist than there are good, it’s literally what a two or three year program? And they’re usually like 28 years old and don’t have enough experience to really be talking to anybody.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 01:44 PM
1

Therapist maybe,not but Psychiatrist,yes! and quit your left and right crap it makes you look bad and doesn’t make your statement stand out. Mental health is extremely important and Psychiatrist are probably always a better pick than a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 11:53 PM
3

It happens.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 11:52 PM
5

I don’t see why anybody would down vote this? I’ve known couples that are still married for 12 years and live in different states and don’t even have anything to do with each other, but they stay together for insurance or because of financial damage done by divorce, this should not be down voted. It’s at least an option. If the marriage is truly over.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 09:39 PM
1

Good advice, but I would skip the priest or pastor, a lot of those relationships are based in religion, and if he’s not religious, it really doesn’t make any sense and a priest has no idea what they’re talking about when it comes to relationships, because they have no experience. However, I would definitely consider going to a marriage counselor, you had a tough time conceiving those children, and you stuck with it, you both fought through it, that’s got to mean something? Something has divided …
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 09:37 PM
1

It’s kind of funny to call people jaded, here’s the truth of the matter, you just have more experience you’ve had the fairy dust blown out of your eyes, and you can actually see things for what they are, you stop making excuses for people, and just simply look at their actions, if that’s called jaded? And I guess a lot of us are jaded, trust should be earned. It always should’ve been earned, and most of us gave away trust for a very deep discount, people should have to earn your trust, and you s…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 01:23 PM
1

Right!
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 11:38 PM
1

You got lucky you don’t have kids and you got out early, sounds like your wife is not the person you actually thought she was, you have to start looking at your relationships from the other person‘s perspective not yours, when you love somebody that doesn’t mean they love you back the same, those are the kind of things you need to really look at in a relationship and communicate with each other, just because you love somebody does not mean they equally love you back, let it be a life lesson, and…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 11:38 PM
2

I’ll tell you a secret, the parent who cares the most? Is the parent who suffers the most, the parent who doesn’t care as much about the relationship or their ex spouse or even their child, they’re always going to make things miserable because they don’t know how to sacrifice for other people.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 09:20 PM
2

So you’ve got a couple things going on here, you’ve got a war on two fronts and that’s never easy. First and foremost, you even admit, you know your failures as far as getting motivated and doing things, you can’t use that as an excuse anymore, I also have my own shortcomings like every single human being, but the differences, knowing what they offer and working on them! You can only blame yourself for this, you should be going to a mental health therapist and working through this, you can be a …
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 06:47 PM
3

Look man here’s the deal, you’ve made some really stupid errors in your life, and a lot of us have at least made a few ourselves. However, you need to learn from this, the truth of matter is you over pursue women! You chase them 100%? You fought over them and try to give them anything they want because, you think you actually believe the more you do for her, the more she loves you, and that’s never a fact. Good luck in the future future, get yourself to a Psychiatrist. Talk some things out, rebu…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 11:32 PM
4

Why? that would just be ignorant why would I be celibate and stop doing something? I enjoy doing because of a woman treating me bad? Makes absolutely no sense, if you let somebody from your past, takeaway the things you like, then you are the problem, not them. Do you think my ex-wife is gonna stop me from bass fishing? Do you think she’s gonna stop me from making authentic barbecue for 12 to 15 hours? do you think she’s gonna stop me from making content for my TikTok channel? If you are gonna s…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 10:39 PM
1

Right, oddly enough as optimistic and happy as they seem, they also seem angry and spiteful at the same time, it’s weird.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 01:51 PM
1

Sadly, I’ve met quite a few few of these so-called spiritual women, and even though I do it here to some of the things they believe in, I find out that women generally use spirituality as an excuse to be on their absolutely worse behavior! And when they get caught in this worst behavior and as usual, take no accountability, they say they’re doing it for their health because that’s what you should do spiritually, so they always turn it on you to make you the nutty one, lol I have absolutely no sp…
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 02:35 PM
6

You’re gonna be shocked what you’re gonna be looking for next, for some reason you just don’t need the constant companionship anymore, you’d like to share a sunset with somebody and intimacy, of course, but for me and maybe you, I cannot imagine a woman being with me every day of the week.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 07:40 PM
5

Noooooooooo! I only feel bad for my children.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 07:40 PM
2

See above 👆
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 09:17 PM
4

Lack of compatibility Addiction Physical/Mental abuse
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 09:15 PM
1

It’s gonna take you a lot of time, my ex committed adultery, so I already had some trust issues now now I got really bad trust issues. I’m at one woman that I was 99% compatible with in the last three years of dating and it went to 0% compatibility when she told me she wanted an open relationship, sucks! She was damn near perfect, but I told her there’s no way I could date her because I should be your A plan, your B plan. She just contacted me by text almost a year after and she’s still thirsty,…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 08:22 PM
1

If I’m dating a woman that I feel might be there for the long-term, which there’s only been one and three years, I told them the truth, I really like you, but I need to be able to trust you and consistency builds trust! Just be consistent, be honest, have honor and be respectful and you’re gonna see the best part of me sooner than later But I’m not gonna just let out all my emotional baggage at one time, you’ve got to earn that, and the woman I told that had absolutely no problem with it and she…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 08:19 PM
7

That’s why I made this sub Reddit part of my healing over the last 2 1/2 years, I like to look for patterns in life, and it didn’t take me long to see patterns in this subject. The truth of the matter is, you only really get divorced for three things. All of the rest is is just side effects of those three things. Pretty easy red flags to see if you know what to look for. The sub is actually serving a purpose!
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 08:17 PM
6

Oh brother! That’s when you know, they’re finally done with you, when they can’t stand the way you eat, breathe, walk or sleep! Lol 😝
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 08:16 PM
23

Congratulations brother! I’m actually 2 1/2 years out and I’ve had experiences like yours, we’re single now and the beautiful part about that is, if we go on a couple dates with a woman and she acts that way? You can tell her to kiss off and walk away away! I just broke up with a girl after a month of dating because she berated the wait staff at a restaurant and actually had road rage pulling up to a business once because somebody parked their car too close to the building so they could get an e…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 08:14 PM
1

I’m going on my third year and I just quit dating about three weeks ago, trying to find a new job and I’m just not feeling it, when I first got out of my marriage I ran around pretty hard! I did really well in high school and college with the women and I can tell you this, I had more sex after my Marriage than I did between high school and college. It was nuts. But I was looking for something deeper because getting laid to me anyway? Is just easy. I really don’t have problems in that area, but I…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 02:14 AM
8

First off, congratulations! Your wife or may I be one of the first to say your ex-wife! Sounds like a low character person. I don’t know what to tell you about the numbness, I’ve been divorced going on three years and there’s a good part of my emotional self that is numb, but I’ll tell you a secret, it really helps in dating! It’s a fact that women like you more when they’re not sure how you feel about them emotionally, and you won’t know how to feel about them emotionally either for a very long…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 08:12 PM
2

All relationships are risk, and I’m glad that you’re happy, I truly am! Maybe I didn’t see how long you’ve been going out with this person? Just take it slow, which I think you’re doing, read the tea leaves and look for red flags, consistency builds trust. And most of us wouldn’t get married again ever! There’s no need for it. marriage is not a measurement of love. Be well.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 02:07 PM
4

I am truly happy for you, I really am. But I got a gut feeling that you’re overexcited about this and I can understand why, you need to kind of take a step back and look at this with a clear picture, the honeymoon phase never last forever, but that doesn’t matter anyway. Make sure you’re making the right decisions, look for red flags never let them get by you. If you’re gonna get married, and kids? You’re looking at, losing a lot again, it’s up to you take the risk, but if I were you, I would mo…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 12:02 AM
0

Right?!
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 02:27 PM
5

I think if this isn’t a troll post, she’s already cheating on you or she’s going to because she absolutely does not respect you and for sure doesn’t love you. And she absolutely has no desire for you, so either you let yourself go and slide off the cracker so badly that you’re no longer attractive to her? Or she’s got mental issues, get to this point you could slim down to 175 pounds and muscle and she still won’t love her respect you, I think this ship is sailed my friend, I think you should di…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 02:27 PM
0

Dude, I’m just gonna block you, you’re a moron! You want to take over a woman’s right to her own body because you can’t handle the situation? You are literally the epitome of a weak man. Because you can’t control the situation and you have no idea what you’re doing with a female, you wanna overcorrect them because of your inability to deal with them. You shouldn’t be on here, honestly go read a book or something, you’re the epitome of weakness in masculinity. I don’t have to worry about the thin…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 03:20 PM
1

First off now you’re over correcting, the Democratic Party did not destroy society, are you crazy or something? I don’t wanna get political here, but go back and look at the voting records through the 1960s. I think you’re going to find that overall the Democratic Party has helped the middle class and society as a whole. But in this specific area of men and women, the left, unfortunately which is my side of the fence has caused some damage. The problem is when you let the horses out of the barn.…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 03:14 PM
-4

No offense, my brother, but that’s an ignorant statement. You date any woman over 35 she’s going to have kids, can you not handle a single woman with children? Can you not handle yourself? Do you have any boundaries? If you have boundaries, you can date a single mom with kids, if she ask you for a loan? You say no, if she ask you to babysit her kids? You say no, you can say no right? I mean you do have accountability and control of your own person right? So none of this makes any sense, if you k…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 03:02 PM
-2

I’ll try to explain my theory on all of this, now I don’t generally talk about this, but I’m gonna put it out there so you know where my point of view is coming from I’m a progressive liberal, yes I’m over on the left. I do not consider myself a Democrat, and I do blame our side for most of this problem. This is why I’m trying to re-educate, progressive and liberal men that they don’t have to get kicked in the guts by women and just take it. For centuries, women were abused, raped, used as sex s…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 02:53 PM
1

I can’t get on board with everything you’re saying, I’m sorry, but I think you have to be a dumb ass to get women pregnant and have a bunch of baby mamas, it’s the dumbest thing and shows that a man’s made some pretty poor decisions in his life. You don’t go out and get another woman pregnant as well, that’s just stupid. You’ll never get back on your feet or able to rebuild financially when you’re paying child support to a bunch of kids and a bunch of moms who don’t even talk to you. Crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:27 PM
1

Is that what they’re calling it now? Let me tell you what it really is, indifference is power! I learned that so quickly during my divorce it was shocking, I had never done it before, just tell them go do whatever you want I could care less, I don’t care where you go or where you end up, it drives him insane! And when he starts dating again, you have to have that indifference with women as well, hey I really care about you, but if you wanna move on cool, bye! It actually makes them want you more…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:25 PM
1

She’s absolutely hiding money, he needs to get a court ordered audit of her accounts during the divorce, if she hides her money after that? And he finds out later later, she’s looking at criminal prosecution. And for what it’s worth, without a question she’s cheating on him! There’s no reason to hide your phone other than not wanting to see she’s sleeping with another man and probably hiding her bank accounts so he doesn’t know how much she has and sees that she spending money going out with thi…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:23 PM
1

So the answer to your question is simple, the answer is yes! You should seek a divorce from your wife. Let me explain to you why I feel this way, it’s not your fault that you got into an accident and that you were injured and she was the breadwinner for four years, the problem is as she was the breadwinner, and as women do men don’t necessarily do this, but your wife lost complete respect for you as a man, she allowed herself not to be compassionate and have him empathy towards you to see that t…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:22 PM
1

I’ve been watching Corey Wayne on YouTube and I’ve been reading his book for a long time now, I like that he doesn’t like the red pill crew, those are just a bunch of steroid oversized big babies who never got over being hurt by women so they just basically hate all of them, Corey is much more balanced, but they’re still touches of Leadership quality masculinity that you need to survive. I’ve learned so much since my divorce, having my feelings being numbed actually makes women want me more, it’…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 08:46 PM
1

And think I actually mentor men through their divorces, I have to remind myself that losing your composure is feminine energy, and keeping your composure is masculine energy. I learned a few years back that when you hold your composure in front of a woman, absolutely drives them insane! They can’t handle you being reasonable, and actually making sense, it spins their head around. Be well
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 08:41 PM
3

No disrespect, but looking at your recent pass before you moved out, tells me you absolutely, positively should not be dating anybody at all! You were clearly not ready, how did you not see the red flags wrapped around your neck? You made a lot of mistakes here, enough mistakes to tell me that you need to maybe go to a psychiatrist, start reading more come on here and looking at #MIN‘s experience and slow down and learn! May I recommend Cory Wayne‘s book 3% man! It’s not that alpha male red pill…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 08:36 PM
2

You know what, I kind of agree with you, the way I handled it personally, I shut down and refused to talk to her because there was nothing to talk about, once we have everything I didn’t need to speak to her, except for the children, I haven’t spoken face-to-face with her in three years. Just hate to see a guy get beat up by his wife, if there verbally abusing you sometimes it’s nice to quip back, but I can see going cold turkey, it’s what I did actually, Annette actually drove her insane.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 01:39 PM
0

I honestly don’t understand your post? The tone is that you’re disagreeing with me, but the content says you’re agreeing with me, either way of course you can verbally destroy somebody in a calm voice, women have done it for decades! Where do you think I learned it? Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 12:43 PM
2

Wow, this sounds pretty much like what I’ve gone through for the last 2 1/2 years, I date and I’ve only had a couple women that were really super compatible and only one that was absolutely compatible! And I would be with her today if she didn’t have validation issues. I think the emotional numbness is something that’s going to be there forever to be quite honest, you’re more in control of your emotions to an extent, you don’t fall for women immediately, i’ve broken more than a few hearts in the…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 12:41 PM
1

Sorry you’re going through this, but at least your man enough to admit that you had some fault in this as well. But your title clearly states she’s dating an older man! Yeah, you really don’t address the mystery that’s in your own title, so let me help you. I’m 53 years old and divorced after a 26 year marriage, and I can’t keep the 30-year-old and 40-year-olds away from me, not that I want to, lol. Here’s the fascination for women with a little older, not ancient, lol, but a little older. We’re…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 07:54 PM
2

You don’t have to talk poorly about her in front of your kids, it’s a no-win, and I’m not telling you that you should fight with her, but not saying anything at all, and letting her gouge at you is allowing her to take advantage of you and it’s eating into self-respect and self-esteem. All I’m saying is stay calm, control your emotions and swing back verbally, tell her what you think,but keep your calm by doing it, and then after you’ve told her how toxic and horrible she is lay down hard-core b…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 02:38 PM
2

I’m nowhere near living with a woman, I can understand dating a woman and maybe having her over a couple days a week maybe three days a week maybe I go over there a couple days a week but being with me full-time? Right now I can’t imagine it, I like to do the things I like to do and I don’t wanna have to be questioned about it. We’ll see how time treats me and how I feel later down the road, as far as feminist go? I’m an OG feminist actually, understand that means equal rights for women, the rig…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 12:47 PM
3

Good on you, I have to give you credit for even getting married a second time? That’s something that most of us, including myself will never ever do again, I don’t need it! I’m not religious, I already have kids and I’ll be damned if I’ll sign a government contract having to depend on the other person not to cheat on me or be a problem that ends up, taking half of my money away again. However, I will live with somebody again, in my house! That way, if things don’t work out, I can break up with t…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 11:20 AM
2

You need to get through the first phase of healing, which is acceptance, and you’re not not there yet, your second phase should be anger! Don’t skip anger! Even my psychiatrist said you need to get angry, that gives you the fire to get through this. Stop thinking about who she was in the past you have to think about who she is today! She’s a scumbag! Cut all emotional ties to her, she is not the woman that she is a stranger who could’ve brought back an STI to you and and completely and with purp…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 04:53 PM
4

Listen to me, son, I’ve been through something like this myself, first things first you absolutely, positively do not move out of the house by any means! In the court of law that is seen as abandonment and you will pay a heavy price for it, sorry to say, but you stay in that house you do not leave it! Secondly, my mother told me something that I didn’t understand when I was young, but I sure in the hell understood after I found my wife cheating after 26 years, your upbringing and the environment…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 04:50 PM
1

OK, so a couple of things here, if you’re technically still married, and she started a business that is considered a marital asset and you get 50% of that business, that makes no sense what your lawyer is doing? That’s a fact, that’s the law, you get 50% equity in whatever money she’s made from that business because you’re still married.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 08:12 PM
2

I’ve honestly seen more weak men get pushed around than some, A whole guy be a bastard in his marriage, things have changed a lot over the last two decades.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 02:16 PM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 02:15 PM
2

It’s hard to put a video camera in every room of your home, but I like the idea of having a recorder in your pocket anytime that you’re in the house or around her as soon as she enters the room you turn it on the audio evidence enough should be enough against her, you have to protect yourself, especially if she’s overly emotional and violent, you have to do it for your kids, I would record every single thing she says.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 02:14 PM
1

Sure
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 01:48 AM
2

Thanks so much, glad those those words inspired you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 11:23 PM
2

Thank you brother, if you anybody wants to check out my TikTok channel, it’s called dating for dummies, used to be called dating after divorce, but I wanted to hit a wider audience, I put on their everything that I’ve learned. Too many guys are just so weak that they sit there and want to be buddies with their ex-wife and then they can’t heal, it’s time to be selfish after a divorce, because if you’re not 100% there is no way that you can take care of your kids or yourself or even date somebody …
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 03:48 PM
12

During the process you almost have to communicate as painful as it is, because you have to unwind your past life, which takes a while. Now, after all this process is over? I actually cut all communication with my ex-wife, we do have children, and I told her that she could text me only! About the kids and scheduling, outside of that? She’s not allowed to call me, come to my home, come to my place of work or communicate with me in anyway. I put down hard-core boundaries and I don’t flex with them.…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 02:14 PM
2

So I have a lot of thoughts about this and I actually run a TikTok channel about dating after divorce, what she’s doing is completely stupid, naïve and ignorant. My kids all know they’re not gonna see one woman or meet one woman until I’ve been with her for at least a year and a half if not, two years. Women’s emotions run wild, that allows them to do stupid things that are really, not advisable, And then sleep over? That’s just frigging, dangerous in its own right. What she’s doing is not very …
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 01:49 PM
1

It doesn’t sound like a very fun way to live, but I need to ask you this? Now that I’ve been out there dating for three years, I have dated a couple of women with ADHD, oddly enough, both of them were absolutely fantastic! Except! One of them definitely had issues understanding consequencesof her actions, I do understand there are certain levels of ADHD, Can you say with any certainty that your condition isn’t causing some of these problems? I think that’s one thing to look at, make sure that yo…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 11:33 PM
1

I know you’re trying to do the right thing, but take it from somebody who’s already been down this path a few years, you’re overthinking this entire thing. And no offense, I’m sure you’re trying to do what’s best for your children, but continuing to sacrifice everything can also be used as an excuse to allow yourself to be beat on by the other spouse again and again. I’m gonna tell you a secret, there’s nothing you can do to stop you soon to be ex-wife from using your kids as pawns, my ex-wife d…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 12:24 PM
1

Here’s the story, I can’t remember why you’re getting divorced? Maybe you can remind me, I think the way I treat her would depend on why I’m splitting up with her, if it was infidelity on her part? You just don’t care about her anymore, let her go sleep in the gutter. It doesn’t really matter, if it was something much more minor? Maybe you help her out, but it’s a really bad habit to get into, because she’s just gonna keep taking and taking and taking from you, I guess it end of the day this isn…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 08:09 PM
2

I met someone I thought was pretty cool about three weeks ago, but I would sit there at night on the phone and she would go on a 20 minute monologue long enough that I would actually put the phone on speaker and leave the room and go do something else come back and she still yammering on! You have to have enough Awareness to know that this is somebody you just met they’re not your therapist or your psychiatrist. They’re not there to solve your problems. They’re there to see if they want to stay …
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 01:00 AM
2

Those laws came about decades ago, when women hardly had the rights to vote and won’t even expected to go out to work, they stayed home with the children, so when the divorce happens, they’re absolutely not ready to go into the workforce, the issue is those law should’ve been changed after the 1960s.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 07:54 PM
4

Good for you, sorry to hear you wasted so many years on your marriage like we did, all I can tell you is this, being single is different, I really would like a partner in my life, but the problem is I also like being single, maybe I’ll change in the future, but right now maybe having a girlfriend that like stays over two or three days out of the week and then goes back home would be the better relationship for me currently. All I can tell you is, don’t rush things with a dating thing, and here’s…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 02:27 PM
1

I believe it, I’ve met very few supposed spiritual women that weren’t complete and utter monsters as soon as any little bit of pressure or bad luck happens to them, they may become absolutely insane and insufferable.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 04:19 PM
2

Agreed
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 04:18 PM
2

OK, let’s take a breath and rewind for a minute and look at your post again. So you’re trying to level up as the head of the household right? So the last three or four years work has been pretty hectic. Maybe you haven’t been yourself you’re probably under a lot of pressure and things of this nature, Apparently your wife doesn’t notice any of those things that you’re doing for her and the kids to keep things together to keep the bills paid and what not, and you wanna know if you should let her g…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 10:10 PM
10

I think that kind of describes me as well, I probably do hate her a little bit, but really it’s mostly a major indifference and just absolute disgusted, like I don’t want to be in the same room with that person because I realize how toxic they are for my system. This was a complete shock to her when I ended up divorcing her, she also cheated for extra measure, she couldn’t believe that after 26 years, but I would never talk to her again or have anything to do other on her personal level. I told …
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 02:18 PM
12

You only have one choice, if you’re a intelligent person. And here’s what it is, you have to take a couple years off, I’m talking, no dating, no talking to other women, go to psychiatry, stay on here on Reddit and read men’s cases and look what they’ve gone through, and where they’ve made mistakes, Dig deep into your own mistakes and why you did them and why you kept doing them, you can’t go into the past, the only thing you can do is try to make a better future. But you have to learn your fault…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 09:00 PM
1

Yes!!!!! you cannot heal properly and with the right velocity if you have her in your life still, like seeing her in public or talking about anything other than possible childcare? If you have a child, you must avoid her at all costs, no communication whatsoever, again unless you have a child. That’s what I did in the healthiest thing for you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 04:36 PM
5

You absolutely get the therapist on the stand you have your lawyer cross examine them and get them to admit that is there any plausibility that the wife could’ve lied about what she’s talking about? Of course, the answer will be yes!
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 08:01 PM
0

Oh, there’s absolutely no misinformation whatsoever, you can go on the Internet and look at reputable medical research that shows exactly exactly what I’m talking about, look sometimes you’re gonna be wrong, sometimes you’re gonna inflate what you think to try to make your point, just maybe get off the Internet for a little while take a breath look in the mirror and admit your wrong sometimes, people do respect that when you admit you’re wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 02:04 AM
0

You’re making a mountain out of a mole hill, and you’re taking just basic research and twisting it to get your own outcome, you do you guy, no problem at all, this discussion honestly means nothing to me. Have a great summer.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 11:06 PM
4

I honestly don’t think you can come to that conclusion, it’s very difficult to say, just because 80% of women file for divorce doesn’t mean 80% of them wrong to the guy and are dumping them. What it does say conclusively is that 80% of women who do file took the lead on the divorce and nailed the nails into the coffin themselves rather it was for the right reasons are wrong. Think about that, it wasn’t the man, it wasn’t the leader of the relationship, it was the woman who slammed the door. Fina…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 10:11 PM
1

Absolutely! Once your eyes are open and you reflect back that for me personally was one of the hardest times and that’s even with my wife cheating after 26 years. Reflecting back out of the bubble scene with clear eyes finally and seen how badly I was treated and how much I put up with, I’m just embarrassed of myself. Here’s the great thing, I took two years out of my life to go to a psychiatrist, read books, start a new TikTok channel, listen and come on here and look for patterns of relationsh…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 08:16 PM
2

With all due respect, I don’t agree with what you’re saying. This has been researched over and over, and men attempt and are successful at suicide eight more times more lthan females are after divorce. It’s not like I just came up with this, lol. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 08:07 PM
14

You’re absolutely correct, women can be absolutely devastated by divorce, but women have a lot more friends and family. They can talk to, they’re expected to talk about their feelings, men are shunned away from talking about their feelings or acting like they’re hurt, so women can have a much easier time of it after divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 05:03 PM
19

I think some other people have already said it on here, but let’s remember that 80% of women file for divorce, now that doesn’t mean that they’re the bad person in the divorce but they’re the one that file 80% of the time, so yes, I do believe when they can be devastated by divorce, they are also cheated on, physically abused, mentally abused, theologically dictated to and everything else that men go through as well. However! I do believe that men take divorce much harder than women do, that’s w…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 05:01 PM
4

Congratulations! I actually found this subbed, extremely insightful and helpful during my divorce, you can learn a lot about relationships by seeing the same patterns over and over and over again, well played!
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 07:31 PM
2

I went on a few dates with an Israeli woman she was hot! I ended up telling her that I was done with it, when I found out, she basically was trying to put me on rotation. She hadn’t yet, but she was adding me to rotation. Told her that I had too much self-respect and self-worth and I wasn’t going to be put into rotation, im the Main course not a side dish, told her to let me know if down the road she considers going to exclusive for a 60 day trial. She was absolutely shocked! Said she never had …
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 01:17 AM
2

I have a cut off for women that I would sleep with and I have a cut off for women I would be in a relationship with.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 01:12 AM
2

First off, you shouldn’t be talking to her about any of this stuff, this should be completely completely private and close to the vest, she doesn’t need to know your private business.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 12:37 AM
2

You still have to be on dating apps, this is the world that we live in, just make a really good profile. Have some decent pictures up there and just let it fly. Get on the app maybe once or twice a week go left, go right and be done with it and just let them find you. Aside from that maybe referrals from a family member or a friend, go to the grocery store or local festivals or events things like that, of course it’s gonna be difficult. You wanna know what’s more difficult? The person that is ac…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 12:31 AM
2

Oh, it’s even more fun than that, I can’t tell you the amount of men who have gotten a hold of me because it was their wife on the app and they’re looking for a threesome, I get threesome requests all the time, lol
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 12:30 AM
7

It’s about 1000 times easier for women to date than it is for men, my ex-wife has had a boyfriend for over two years now and I still date and don’t have a committed relationship. Do you honestly think I feel bad about that? Or do you think I know better than to rush into a relationship with somebody that isn’t completely compatible with me, don’t feel bad, dating apps Are the enemy of men everywhere, there are many more men on dating apps than there are women, so women get a huge pick of who the…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 10:48 PM
6

After my divorce, I looked back when things were what I thought good times, so the first 10 years and you know what? I worked my butt off. I carried my family on my back alone for 20 years and not once did she ever make me feel good when I came home not ever once. Did she say I appreciate you going out every day and working that hard to support us I never got anything and when I asked her about it, all she said was it’s your job to take care of us! No respect at all and never really cared about …
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 09:36 PM
3

Look, here’s the real deal, if you’ve got a loving partner who obviously desires you goes out of their way to make sure that you’re OK and take care of you and ask about your day and has actual concern for you? Then you should be there to support them in most of what they’re going through, but you still cannot save someone from their past, it’s something they have to do on their own so you really become just a cheerleader. But if they don’t desire you, they have no respect for you you just walk …
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 09:15 PM
6

I’ve learned a brutal truth and I think it applies to this and it’s sort of applied to my marriage as well now divorced. We are unfortunately a product of our upbringing, something that is truly not something we can control, it sounds almost like she feels guilty that she’s finally happy and has somebody who loves her and the ability to not worry about paying bills, it’s sort of like an addict getting off drugs, but they still desire to do drugs, the sad thing for her? She’s gonna find her way b…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 08:10 PM
1

My pleasure 😇
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 11:25 AM
1

Right!!!! I was married to a covert, narcissist, if you asked any of her friends or any of her family, she was the sweetest thing in the world, but it was all an act, she’s been no mother to my children. She basically walked away as a parent three years ago, always look at peoples actions. Do not look at their words, there are plenty of females that are covert savages.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 08:19 PM
3

You’re going to keep being abused and you’re gonna keep getting kicked in the chest until you actually get a lawyer, you’re gonna have to figure this out I paid $3000 retainer and that was it, you have to hit her for faults claims, you cannot do that it will destroy your visitation and custody, get a good lawyer may a woman and make sure she’s a complete bastard.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 08:01 PM
2

Prenups apparently fail in court all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 02:41 PM
6

Let’s be honest here though, these type of women are in the very, very minority of women out there. Yes, they do exist, most women don’t wanna go through divorce proceedings over and over and over, even if it’s for the money. I can spot these type of women 1,000,000 miles away, I know fake desire from real desire because I’ve had the real thing before. Just stay safe out there guys don’t give in so easy and don’t pursue! That’s something that all guys do too much of, you never chase 100%, you ch…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 02:38 PM
1

That’s also a good point and I’ve seen women do that as well, if things changed immediately after the baby and she didn’t have postpartum issues? Then she definitely just used him to produce children and then bailed on him emotionally.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 09:27 PM
2

Sorry that you’re going through this, but there’s a few lessons to learn here, we’ve all been done wrong generally by our ex-wives, but we also have to take accountability for what we did wrong. One of my first questions is why were you at a stay at home, dad for two years? I mean, I get their reasons for it sometimes, but I’ll tell you a secret, women lose respect for a man if he’s not working or he doesn’t at least have any goals that he’s going for other than being a dad. Yes it’s unfair! But…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 09:26 PM
2

Most of us have been there, now the best thing you can do for yourself is learn, reflect read come on here and see the patterns of relationship so you can see those red flags before they even go up the pole and walk out. The only good that can come from a divorce, or a cheating spouse, is learning how not to get yourself into that situation again and if you do? How to cut the rope and not let it take years of your life away, take the next two years and work on knowing what relationships actually…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 08:21 PM
1

My apologies if I misread your comment, you are 100% correct! To be honest, I’ve been in and out of the lifestyle for 3 1/2 years as a single guy, single only! I would never get into the lifestyles as a couple, I personally know 4 couples who are divorcing because of it, yes, my friend, you are correct! You can role-play that stuff in your bedroom and not get somebody else involved, I’m pretty sure that I invented the dildo threeway, lol 😂 but you have to have the right partner thats fine ending…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 06:52 PM
2

Allowing her specific kinks, and what she did was your fault for sure, you should’ve never stood for it, but many kinks and fetishes are not a danger to your relationship, however, your wife was into some pretty destructive things, and you should never have allowed it, but obviously you know that. I think you do it because you didn’t wanna lose her, but you didn’t understand, you had already lost her a long time ago.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 04:54 PM
2

I absolutely disagree with you, some kinks and fetishes? Absolutely of course you stay away from, but if she likes to be spanked or wax play or role-play? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that in that doesn’t destroy a marriage, a couple who wants to stay together? Will stay together! You can’t just say all fetishes are gonna ruin or destroy a marriage, that’s absolutely ridiculous and with all due respect, shows that you can’t take accountability for your own possible bad actions, you have…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 04:52 PM
2

Nooooo, file!!! This woman destroyed you to yourself into anybody else she’s talked to, she’s made you a fool like many of them have made us, why are you sitting there waiting for her to take the attack to you? Get on the offense, and declare war! Try not to argue with her or anything like that it’ll only hurt your kids and you in court, but this is war! Start acting like it! Strike first.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 04:49 PM
2

Women generally file 80% of the time in America, there’s no problem with you filing first, get to the lawyer tell him absolutely everything so he can help defend you in court and maybe sway custody into your favor, and hit her with the divorce in the papers immediately. it’s gonna go two ways when she finally gets served, she’s either gonna come out of the corner like a bobcat or she’s gonna try to get you to come back to her, please don’t! I don’t think there’s any good or bad who files, but in…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 04:48 PM
6

You’re a better man than me, I would not have allowed this indiscretion to happen over and over, let me tell you what you’re dealing with, after 26 years of marriage I found my wife cheating and divorced her within a years time, she was shocked, I was so firm, but that’s what a narcissist always thinks. In your case you’re not dealing with a narcissist, but you are dealing with a unique problem that I have found in women now that I’ve gone back to dating for three years, Your soon to be ex wife …
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 04:46 PM
3

I think it’s pretty good advice, I cannot believe the amount of women trying to get DV cases against their ex-husband, it’s absolutely astounding! Just listen to him, he’s got good reviews for a reason.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 12:04 AM
1

You guys can downvote me all you want, but this guy got exactly what he deserved! He had every opportunity to walk away from this woman, she showed him over and over and over again that she had extremely low character and was not anybody that any man would ever want in their life seriously, you can’t feel too bad for him. She got pregnant by another guy and had you pay for that kid and having you believe that you were the father? And you went back? Come on man, how lonely do you have to be? Dude…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 12:52 AM
2

You should’ve actually felt more like a man! Go look at the research and go look at the percentages, considering most men go through this, that put you in the majority! Congratulations, lol 😂
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 11:16 PM
1

So let me enlighten you a little bit from someone who is a couple years ahead of you, you do not want to find a woman right out of your divorce at all! Getting laid? Sure, we all acted like slots after our divorce. I had more sex after my divorce than I did in high school and I did pretty well in high school. But it’s some point you realize you’re still going home alone, give yourself a lot of time, you should learn by now that the compatibility for partners to be together for a long time is ext…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 02:04 PM
0

Not unless you actually think it’s true, I’ve done nothing but stick up for men and equal treatment of men, and it’s crushing, I’m sure the guy is extremely hurt, the problem is, guys don’t listen very well, when a woman tells you no it’s no, when they tell you That they want to take a break from their relationship? They want to take a break, when a woman or anybody tells you something or shows you who they actually are? Believe them. Sadly, he made some poor choices, like most of us did or we w…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:51 PM
2

So she was testing you, she’s trying to see if she can get you to do what she says, you’re not selfish for getting up going into the kitchen to make her drink and then she just jumps into a conclusion out of nowhere and gets angry at you, you have every right to be upset, have you guys had problems in the past? It kind of feels like maybe you have been placating her or something? And she’s kind of seeing how far she can push you, if it’s not too much, does she generally initiate sex ever? I was …
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:45 PM
2

I don’t understand your betrayal issue, here let’s condense it down a little, I don’t like vanilla ice cream, you serve me, vanilla ice cream, and I don’t eat it, now you feel betrayed? Look it sucks, I’m sure he’s very hurt, it’s a bad situation without question, but she told him on day one before they even got married she didn’t want kids, she kept her, that’s not betrayal she just kept her word. Again I get that it sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:42 PM
1

I agree, it would suck, but she stuck to her guns and she stuck to the same story that she had before she got married, she doesn’t want kids. Apparently she was on birth control and she still got pregnant, that does happen with a prescription that’s not quite right.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:42 PM
3

That’s completely untrue, it’s not that long of a story, you can see the problems. Here, he made a ton of mistakes, marrying her to begin with, let’s be honest most of us as well, lol. I think they both have issues and hopefully he makes better decisions in the future, you can’t change people, he knew she had trauma and a really bad background, you don’t get hitched to a sinking ship.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:41 PM
1

Bravo 🙌
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:39 PM
-2

Tons of good women out there, it just takes a lot longer to find them. and you have to know exactly what you’re looking for and exactly the personality and type of woman that can give it to you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:39 PM
0

Dude, get out of here, you know what you can’t sit here and critique women when you won’t even critique the male side of the issue, she said I don’t want kids. He decided after they were married that he did want kids, she kept her word he didn’t keep his, if you look at my post, I’m all about equal treatment for men, but you’re way off base and your projecting your red pill anger. Here’s an idea, how about you don’t marry or wanna have children with somebody with major past trauma, and a partner…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:35 PM
2

I would say this is probably the most accurate thing posted.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:34 PM
0

I’m very pro-choice, however, I’m not sure what the law is, do you need the husbands? OK? I know for vasectomy that they definitely wanna know that your spouse knows, I could see if you were married and going to get an abortion that your husband would have to sign something that he’s aware of it at least.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:33 PM
13

Nope!!! go look at the research done on re-cheating by people who have already cheated, that guy is in trouble! She runs a very big chance of cheating again. When I go on a date, if I find out, the woman was the cheater in her marriage? Or last relationship? I basically finish the date, they’re not a long-term relationship candidate anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 08:33 PM
1

There are parts of spirituality that I actually buy into, but so many women use it as an excuse to have absolutely terrible behavior and terrible practices, they use it as a form of control on some guys, like they have knowledge of something you don’t and if you don’t do things the way they do you’re stupid or lost , that’s the kind of spirituality I’ve run up against before. It’s kind of an underlining trend lately, that’s why I simply just don’t go out with them, they have so many hurdles and …
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 10:51 AM
3

Hang in there, my man, May 15 was my two year anniversary of my divorce, things are much better than they were two or three years ago, but that’s still a scar there to deal with and you just have to take it slowly, and add to my stress, I was just let go from a 30 year career! And about 15 other people, mostly veterans, it’s insane! I’m selling my house moving to an apartment and I’m looking for a job currently. You march forward , that’s all you can do, I was suicidal in 2019 for about three mo…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 02:27 PM
0

I don’t think that American Society takes the aggressiveness and abusiveness of a woman to hand as much as they do an abusive man. There’s absolutely no way that you weren’t able to have her arrested, she physically assaulted you! I don’t know how she gets away with that? But you definitely need to tell your lawyer and you definitely need to bring it up and divorce court, and you have to be the abuse victim in this deal, she sounds like she has an issue with discipline, especially self-disciplin…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 05:44 PM
1

For some reason every time I hear about the stories that happens to be with a military husband, I’m not sure what the military does to people or families, but there seems to be a lot of this going on. Or infidelity anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 10:55 PM
3

Depends on what broke up the marriage, infidelity? No, never, nada!
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 07:45 PM
-7

Thailand….thats where pedos go champ.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 07:45 PM
1

Yes it is.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 08:13 PM
3

I actually think that it is, when I got my divorce, I used to go through this Reddit quite a bit and I still do and of course you’re gonna get some wild things said, probably some from me, lol but overall I do feel, it’s a very healthy educating part of Reddit.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 12:50 AM
3

Agreed, he’s divorce teasing her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 02:38 PM
2

The dating scene right now might be the worst dating scene in modern history, actually, between dating apps, female man haters being labeled as actual feminists, which is bullshit! And women’s now high level of cheating makes for a very dismal dating scene. However, I’ve met a few women that were really great! But only two that were extremely compatible with me, the sad thing is one of them just didn’t understand what monogamy was and the other one needed so much validation it became like a seco…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 11:10 PM
1

Oh, I was dating like it was a second job there for about six months in the beginning, I don’t do any of that anymore, I may go on my apps, update my profile every now and then swipe left and swipe right a few times and then I get off within maybe five or 10 minutes. Is it worth the squeeze? I’ll say this to you in the last three years of dating I’ve only met two women that I had high compatibility with, and if they didn’t have a couple of nasty habits, yeah, yeah, the juice was definitely worth…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 08:55 PM
1

That’s never going to happen to me actually, I can spot a red flag 18 miles away, what’s so important and what really holds a relationship together is really just a couple of things, one is not just normal compatibility, it’s deep, deep compatibility, it’s where both of you even before you met our reading out of the same book, and the other one at least for me is sexual compatibility, one of those people that understand the overwhelming importance of sexual bonding and intimacy in a relationship…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 03:06 PM
2

She had the absolute inability to take one step in front of the other, whenever I said to her, I don’t have to go work my whole life away to support you. You can go get a job too or when you’re having a bad day I make sure to try to give you a good day she said, yeah that’s your job! She always felt everybody owed her something for some reason, took me years to figure that out, and then, of course she cheated, and I have no reverse gear for infidelity, I bailed. The thing is, if you do too much …
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 02:28 PM
2

Good for you to recognize that, I really didn’t do all that much wrong in my marriage, I hate to be a jerk, but it’s just true, I worked my butt off for 20 years. I was the only breadwinner and got no affection and absolutely zero appreciation for doing it, in fact, I was told by my ex-wife that that’s my job, my job was to take care of her and take care of the kids and pay all the bills, it didn’t take me too long to figure out 26 years after I married her that I had married a covert, narcissis…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 02:13 PM
1

It’s good to see your own errors, but the problem I see with a lot of guys, is they blame themselves for things that really didn’t matter, when I started talking to my psychiatrist and telling her some of the things that I thought I had made mistakes, and she just looked at me and smiled and said you didn’t do anything, but be married, the problems that I brought to the marriage were every day common mistakes, they weren’t things that would cause a divorce, there are things that would cause a di…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 12:16 PM
1

And let’s not forget, in America at least, women file for divorce 80% of the time! Everybody thinks that it’s the men that are the majority of partners that are walking away, and that’s simply not true. Men are also eight times more likely to commit suicide after a divorce than women are, Just some sad facts to look at and think about. Don’t hurt yourself guys! Trust me, in the last two or three years of dating and I’ve been on a lot of dates guys, I have only met Two women compatibility was ext…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 12:12 PM
1

From someone who watched a 26 year marriage go up in smoke, I’ll tell you how you got there, it’s because you can never truly know what’s on your partners brain, we project as humans a lot, if we love them so much then we figure they must love us so much right? If we do more for them, then they’re gonna love us more because they see our effort, right? All of that is bull crap! I had to learn that the hard way, you’re not in a relationship because you love somebody, that’s by default, of course y…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 12:10 PM
1

We’ve all been there, your brain is going through a war right now, and the truth of the matter is is a very good possibility you’ve got PTSD, at least a version of it, that’s what my psychiatrist diagnosed me with, doesn’t mean you’re weak or anything like that, but your brain is losing everything. Your whole world is being turned upside down and shook, and you’re having the process, it’s a very hard time. Remember it generally takes about 5 1/2 years to start to rebuild from a divorce, and I’m …
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 12:07 PM
2

I accept this explanation, thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 07:43 PM
2

When the pain of a marriage is worse than the pain of a divorce, that’s when you know, it’s time to go. That’s the advice I got from my mother, and it’s damn good advice. The kids are going to get hurt either way, either seen a bad relationship and they’re gonna learn to have bad relationships or you get a divorce and you try to mend the fences along the way.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 07:42 PM
2

With all due respect, you’re acting like a doormat, do you have no self-respect? Do you not even know your own self-worth? People treat you exactly the way that you allow them to treat you and you’re allowing your ex-wife to treat you like human garbage. My ex was a covert, narcissist, and I’m gonna tell you to do exactly what I did, and this shocked her to the bone when I did! Step one she’s never allowed to call you on the phone or drop by your house or drop by your work, she is banned from al…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 12:18 PM
1

So the house was in her name, therefore she didn’t owe you half of the assets? Is that what you’re telling me? Any assets garnered during that marriage have to be split 50%, especially the house, the last house I had with my ex-wife was in her name only and I ended up with 50% as soon as it sold. if she was putting things in a business day to try and not give you any assets from the marriage, the judge would’ve seen through that. Did you even have a lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 11:49 AM
1

Because as much as people complain about the system being slanted, nobody loses this much in court, you couldn’t get a judge to allow this to happen in court, there are laws that have to be abided by and it sounds like none of them were abided by in this post.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 11:45 AM
1

I’m not saying that the justice system doesn’t lean towards the wife a little more, but it’s definitely not as unfair as it used to be, but I just don’t believe a story, it’s like going to court and having your mouth duct tape and not even defending yourself, lol Telling you there are judges that would absolutely not allow this kind of thing to happen to somebody, I’ve seen it before.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 01:20 AM
1

Exactly!
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 11:35 PM
2

I honestly think this might be a troll post, however, I do know a woman who is getting a divorce right now and she has an attorney and her husband refused to get an attorney. So if he tried to go into court and be his own lawyer? This is probably the only way this can happen.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 10:59 PM
11

Absolutely nothing, this is exactly why men who are 40+ shouldn’t date 20-year-olds or people in high school, even Leonardo DiCaprio to me is disgusting, nauseating, cowardly, feminine man who goes out as a 48 year old and dates, high school women! I think there’s a difference between a guy being 50 and a woman being 40 though, compared to 40 and 28! Major difference between those two ages.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 10:57 PM
2

Well, then you should also teach him, if you own a home together during the marriage, and there’s a divorce, 50% of that equity is absolutely guaranteed to each spouse, this sounds like a troll post.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 10:56 PM
2

Exactly, thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 10:54 PM
8

That’s literally not how the law works.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 10:54 PM
4

So is somebody who has already gone through a divorce of 26 years, and had almost the same thing happened, where my ex-wife used me to go to nursing school for nine years and then two weeks after slept with my best friend. I’m still not understanding how you lost that much in the divorce? Men can come on here and say the justice system doesn’t lean their way during the divorce and I suppose in some small way that is true, but nobody is gonna lose their house or their vehicles. There is some just…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 10:54 PM
2

Right!!!! Dating naps are worse for men than they are for women, we’re basically outnumbered, and most men are riding the bench, that’s why if I match with somebody and they don’t talk to me until like the third month? I don’t even bother talking to them, it’s because the guy before me didn’t work out and she’s grabbing her next guy off the bench. Always be the A plan!
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 04:18 PM
1

Obviously they do, but the emphasis these red pill guys put on money, heights, and everything else isn’t quite what it seems, there’s definitely a good percentage of women that will let you steal their hearts if you know what you’re doing. Like I said, you can’t be a loser or a slacker though. Confidences, showing that you have goals and your moving forward is important.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 04:17 PM
3

When it comes to women’s specifically, they’re always going to Monkey branch to the better thing, but I’m telling you a lot of times they do not monkey branch to the better thing, they monkey branch to the better thing when it comes to how you make them feel, women work on emotions, they don’t always work on material things If you can get them in the emotions it doesn’t matter how rich you are, you’re gonna get the girl, you can’t be dead broke don’t get me wrong. But trust me this whole adage t…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 01:50 PM
3

Women may be attracted to slightly taller men, I’m 58 and I’ve never had a problem, and here’s why, confidence is sexy, women, love confidence above all else, this whole thing that they want rich guys or guys with Ferraris in their driveway is that alpha male, red pill bullshit! How many times have you seen a woman with a guy who is well established and making money and she ends up, banging the good looking neighborhood loser, happens all the time. Go ahead them with confidence and don’t sell yo…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 01:32 PM
3

I absolutely hate cheaters, I mean, I hate them! Probably because I was cheated on myself, and I know the pain and trauma that it causes, but let’s look at the situation, you’re being basically tortured at home, and now she’s threatening you if you try to escape the situation, I’m not saying that you should, but I would totally get you stepping out and cheating on her. I think it’s that bad. I’m not saying to do it, though, the kids will always be angry with you for it. But I would understand.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 02:25 PM
1

Love hearing this man, get out there and be well! My second year anniversary is coming up on 15 May and I’m in much better shape emotionally than I was two years ago, financially? It’s still a struggle man, I’m hoping to grind out of it in the next two years, they say it takes around five years to financially turn around from a divorce, and I’m on year two, so fingers crossed. Make sure to update your wardrobe as well, I like to go over to Men’s Wearhouse and check out their clearance section, i…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 12:46 PM
1

What you just described wouldn’t happen to me, I put down your type of boundaries as well and they’ve worked for me, she’s not allowed in my home, she’s not allowed in my place of work and she’s not allowed to ever call me, she can text me only about the kids if it has to do a scheduling or an emergency, but other than that, she needs to stay away from me, she was absolutely shocked when I first told her that! This is what happens when you finally cut the chords of a narcissistic spouse, they lo…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 12:30 PM
14

That’s absolutely one of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard, you can’t be serious, right? That’s not being a man, being a man is being in control, you want to go back years after the fact and sound like a whiny little bitch? Come on man, we all got done, dirty, at least most of us, if you go back, can you do that now? It’s gonna prove to your ex how wonderful of an idea it was to get rid of you, come on you gotta think, have you not dealt with this properly? Did you not go to a psychiatrist or ther…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 11:56 AM
1

It’s obvious that you’re nothing more than a human lapdog, and I don’t really lay down with dogs.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 04:06 PM
1

My version of what you said is accurate, you’re the type to keep sacrificing for toxic people.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 02:51 PM
2

With all due respect, can you tell me why you think it would be OK for him to listen to her at this point? The horse is dead, so it’s OK for for him to sit idly by listening to her while she beats it with a stick? He absolutely shouldn’t listen to this, he needs to shut this down today! Grey rock all the way, you don’t just sit there and have somebody beat on you vocally, that’s ridiculous and it makes you look weak as hell! His self healing is all that matters now, that’s it! And healing doesn’…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 02:36 PM
5

So listen, my man, we all went through some version of this, but I got to tell you something, that may not be convenient to your way of thinking, this is actually your fault! You’ve allowed her to communicate with you in that way, look up Grey Rock! Because that’s what you have to do, you’re allowing her to speak to you this way, so she’s gonna keep doing it. People treat us the way that we allow, you have to change that. I would go no communication whatsoever, unless you have kids and then it’s…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 02:34 PM
1

I’m totally on board with you, but I’m gonna give you a warning, watch that red pill crap! I dove into that after my divorce as well, and the first level of stuff is really good stuff, things that men and women both should abide by, but once you get down two or three levels, most of those red pill guys are in it for the money, they act all tough And tell you to do all kinds of crazy toxic crap in your relationship, but they themselves are nothing more than scared little boys who are shivering on…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:46 PM
2

It generally takes 1 year for every 5 years you were married, I'm on 2 years and need to put 3 more years behind me. Little by little, it gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:32 PM
2

Women Loooove to have a sucker riding the bench, dont do it!
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:31 PM
2

Thanks for you service brother.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:30 PM
1

That's what i did.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:30 PM
1

Were with you brother, DON'T HURT YOURSELF!!!!!!!! This to will pass, Ive found some really good women while dating, not exact matches though, but good women. You did the right thing and you're obviously co dependent, stay alone for a year or 2, that's what i did. I dated since my separation though and broke some hearts (sadly) but oh well :)
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:28 PM
3

Quick secret, once a women is done...shes done! no therapy or separation will fix it. When i asked for a separation, my ex wife said "it may be the only thing, that brings us back to each other" i shut that down immediately and told her, the separation was just a soft take off for divorce, i was done with her, she freaked out!!! she was in shock, even though she cheated on me, LOL Make sure to lay down hard boundaries on her as well, no contact by call, only text about the kids, she cant come in…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:26 PM
3

Those are the highest %'s.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:23 PM
6

Most of us have been where you are, here's the deal, youll be fine, because you have no choice but to be fine. She will probably try to come back, dont let her! shes flaky and wanted you to sit on the bench for later on, GOOOOOO!!!! free yourself from her BS, youll feel bad, but it gets better, shes toxic my man.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:22 PM
2

Crazy right?
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:19 PM
4

A + placating there. She has a violent temper and cant even care for the kids, without CPS being involved, who gives a sh@t if she wants to come back? LOL
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:17 PM
1

My man, she isn't mentally healthy, and you cant accept promises from her, for that very reason, she isn't in control of her own head, CPS? really? she cant even be a mom? DUMP and runnnnnnnnn!
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:16 PM
8

Yea man, this is actually a classic move by a manipulator, when you finally let go of them and walk the other way, they go nuts! and try to keep you, because they know they have no control of you and botching he divorce is the only control they have. She sounds awful, she will have to comply at some point. I'm not sure she can stop your divorce, you can sue her for divorce and its up to her to be at court. Could she be holding out for $$$$? Get a lawyer today and stop messing about, make sure sh…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:13 PM
3

Omg…that’s sweet, lol 😂 The heading for my ex-wife’s phone number is now “Never Again” lol 😂
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 05:30 PM
2

Crazy right? The only people who would be complaining about somebody snooping? Is somebody who was caught cheating, somebody who is currently cheating or somebody who has never been cheated on at all, between my ex-wife’s AP‘s wife coming to my job and letting me know what’s going on and me snooping a little bit, I created a full picture of what went down, and was able to divorce sooner than later, if your partner gives you a ton of red flags? You have finances involved, a lot of times you have …
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 01:16 PM
8

Evolution gave us instincts, we are an animal, let’s not forget that, we are a higher power animal, and at the top of the food chain, but it in the day we are animals, and just like animals, evolution has gave us these distinct instincts that so many people just refused to use, when your instincts start telling you something?! Always listen to your instincts, some people caught your gut, but it’s all the same, your instincts are sharp as a razor if you allow them to be listened to.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 09:15 PM
10

Now do yourself a favor, when that relationship turns into flames and falls to the ground, there is a distinct possibility she’s gonna come running back to you or look for a shoulder to cry on, you have to make sure that you shut the door on her, of course you have to coparent your child, and I would do that with a coparenting app, I would make sure that she understands that she can no longer call me come to the house or come to my place of work, she can text and text only about the child as far…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 09:14 PM
18

You can’t trust cheaters at all, I’m telling you, it is a distinct character, flaw, and research shows that cheaters will re cheat to a higher percentage, this is why I laugh when people say you shouldn’t snoop on your partners phone, lol if they give you enough red flags, you should for sure snoop, this is your life too. You don’t wanna waste what valuable time you have left on this planet with the neighborhood skank.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 09:13 PM
4

He's a dick, because he is a Simp for your ex wife and cant be a man, he doesn't have to believe every terrible thing your ex has said about you to him, a man, would understand this and give you the benefit of the doubt, Congrats to the ex wife, she got with a simpy fan boi. I would talk to a lawyer and see what you can do about this obvious harassment, dont be a punching bag, fight back.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 08:12 PM
1

Congratulations 🎈🍾🎉🎊
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:47 PM
1

I’ll check it out, it sounds like a new form of gold digging? In 2 1/2 years of dating I’ve only had one gold digger on a date, I actually had fun with her, she wanted to debate for an hour the ins and outs of gold digging, and at the end, she kept hitting on me, even though she knew that I just thrashed her in a debate, no swearing and no raised voices, I tried to get out of there, but she wouldn’t let me or at least you wanted to keep talking so I knew I was gonna have some fun with her. I sti…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 11:46 AM
1

I have no idea what that is? Inform me.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 10:56 PM
2

I’m at a point of indifference I simply don’t care about her, that doesn’t mean I want to die or anything, I don’t think her sins deserve that sort of a punishment by any means, but she’s a terrible mother. She’s basically abandoned my three kids for the last three years, she hangs out with her boyfriend constantly and I just found out that my 16-year-old daughter when she stays over there is basically all alone because Mom is 40 minutes away downstate banging out her boyfriend Forget cheating o…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 08:57 PM
2

Brother, you can’t fix anything, that’s one thing I learned after my divorce, let’s say one of you has an addiction or maybe one of you has to go to anger, management, or something like that, that can be worked through with mental health, but more than likely, you’re both just not compatible, and anything else that comes after that is a side effect. My ex-wife and I are not compatible and the side effect was her apparently cheating on me once and possibly two more times beforethat, you cannot fi…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 08:36 PM
1

I went back to being me 1997! It’s funny because my mindset was still that of a 25-year-old but I was in a 52-year-old man’s body, so I had to adjust really quick, be prepared for people to call you jaded, Angry, and if you tell a woman on the date that you’re simply not going to do something she wants because you now have boundaries that you won’t flex on, they’ll tell you you’re not over your marriage, these are all people who have never been divorced, and don’t understand that when a man fina…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 08:34 PM
2

Hell yes!
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 08:31 PM
1

You’re doing the right thing by warning him, actually 80% of the time in America women file first, so she’s gonna lose her friggin mind! He needs to be ready for the animal to come out of the corner fighting, if he’s got a joint bank account with her? He should take a picture of the count full and then half when he takes half as in today go take half! Because if you don’t? You’ll end up like my buddy, he worked and she sat at home and she took $20,000 and left him with two grand left in the bank…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 08:30 PM
2

LOVE THAT
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 08:29 PM
1

If you’re wondering about the healing process and how long it’ll take? Psychiatrist say on average it takes one year for every five years you were married, I was married 26 years May 15 will be my second year divorced that means I’ve got about 3 1/2 years ahead of me and you know what? That sounds about right, I’m not completely healed, I’m probably 70%, but I’m really making a good run at being single and enjoying my time with myself, take it slow, understand that healing is not a straight line…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 08:28 PM
2

Would like to know exactly what’s causing the divorce? But I’ll say this, if you feel the need to divorce, then it’s the right thing to do, time is precious, we cannot get tomorrow back, no matter howhard we try, all we have left is what’s in front of us.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 08:26 PM
1

Again, I agree with you 100%, I don’t think I’m 100% a traditional person, but I’m definitely quasi traditional, I almost am embarrassed by it, but when I started dating after my divorce, I’ve had at least five women tell me that I’m basically a natural daddy! Lol so I double down on that, and it works quite well for me, but it’s all about equal energy, I have somebody right now that I went on a date with, and it was absolutely fantastic! The problem is within a couple of days. I can tell that I…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 01:35 PM
6

I hope you didn’t come here looking for sympathy, you’ve walked into a pothole full of men that have been betrayed by cheaters, so you’ll find no sympathy here, you treated your wife like a dish rag, you disrespected her, you dishonored her and worse than that, you went against your own masculinity by cheating on her over and over and over. And now you’re thinking you should move out? That proves to me what a self-centered person you actually are, of course you should move out! Your wife can’t h…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 01:27 PM
1

I think the first level of the red pill stuff is really good and it’s just good common sense that men or women could use, but once you dig down two or three levels, it becomes ridiculous, what you’re looking for in their eyes is basically a female slave, a shrinking violet as we used to call it, and I’m not looking for a captured female. But there is definitely beta males out there, more than I care to even notice anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 01:19 PM
3

https://www.tiktok.com/@tony_spumoni70?_t=8ljt23FCz06&_r=1 Be warned, I really don’t do the red pill thing, I definitely believe in a man having boundaries and having rules that he doesn’t flex on, though, I just don’t believe that you need labels, the red pill thing has turned into a multi million dollar business, so they’ll say all kinds of crazy crap just to get you to buy more books and listen to more of their bullshit , as they sit there with a female partner, raking in your money, hope you…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 11:51 AM
3

Well, I was married for 26 years and now divorced for two years, plus one year of separation, glorious separation! But I agree with you, people who have never been divorced and never went through the trauma, and never went through the disrespect shouldn’t be giving anybody who has been through advice, they still believe in fairytales and romcoms lol
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 11:50 AM
3

A bit of a advice? Maybe something you haven’t come up against, but I have, a lot of divorced men have, when you use all of that experience that you’ve gained and all of that knowledge that you’ve gained, and you put it into practice, get ready to be called jaded, angry, and be told you’re not actually over your marriage. All of that is going to be said by people who have never been through divorce, and have never been through trauma, or it’s generally from a divorced guy or gal who never healed…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 09:38 PM
2

Awesome! I’m gonna check it out as well. I’m two years out of my divorce, but I’m always willing to learn more about relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 09:25 PM
9

You’ll find out as you would listen more and ask questions, that there’s only really two or three reasons to get divorced, everything else is a side effect of those, so you’re going to hear the same stories over and over and over again. This is good news, because there’s a pattern, we can correct that in the future, and we can identify it and either take care of the problem or walk away from the relationship, but be prepared to be called jaded, angry, not over your marriage, all kinds of awful t…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 09:25 PM
6

I’ve been where you are, back in 2019 we had these couples friends, they were almost 20 years are junior, but I worked with a husband and they are very cool, two weeks after my ex-wife graduating nursing school she ended up banging him, I didn’t know anything about it until his wife showed up at my job and explained to me what was going on, she had discovered it that afternoon. I was in a bad place, I even contemplated suicide for three months! But by month 3 1/2 my spine started to stiffen agai…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 10:26 PM
4

Congratulations, my brother! You have learned, you paid attention you took time to take care of yourself even we’re a little selfish because you knew you had to be the best version of yourself to be a good dad, this is awesome! I learned everything you did as well almost walked the same path! Isn’t it amazing when you’re dating? It’s some age. Let’s say 45+ women just want you to look like you at least attempt to take care of yourself, you actually do take showers and you try to maintain your ha…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 09:57 PM
3

I realize the court system was really rough on men in the past, I do honestly believe it’s gotten better, however, I think really and to be honest with you. It’s sort of our problem. Now, there’s no way you would have to pay your ex-wife all that money if she was actually gainfully employed and adding to the bottom line, this is what happens fellas, I think when you allow your wife to sit at home and get them to bullshit you into thinking that you should be the sole provider. The only way to cut…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 09:38 PM
2

Yes, I suppose that’s what I’m saying, but the way that you show your cheating spouse that they made a mistake or maybe in many cases they don’t feel they ever made a mistake, but it’s to go and live your life and be happy, you don’t have to tell them about it or show them or anything else, they just need to witness it, I would definitely not be helping my ex cheating spouse just to show her. What a happy go lucky adjusted guy I am, that’s ridiculous, it does make you look weak and makes it look…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 03:41 PM
0

I wish you the best, but what you’re doing, is slowing down your healing process, and you’re allowing your own psyche to accept being treated with disrespect, it’s just not the sort of person I would want to become, best of luck, your life your choices.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 04:46 PM
2

Because doing even an ounce of caretaking for somebody who betrayed you, means that you internally have to cope with it and workaround instead of working through it, and you can’t heal in that direction. This also leaves you wide open to this happening all over again, it doesn’t sound like you’ve learned to put boundaries down, in fact, I would say that there’s a big possibility that you lack boundaries, a lot of us did, but we got smart after our divorces, she knows she can still depend on you,…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 02:58 PM
7

You’re a better man than me, then again I’m not sure you are a better man than me, I suppose that’s the difference between placating and being friendly with a spouse that cheats on you and being somebody who’s just trying to move them down the line at any cost, I may have helped pack some of her stuff just to get her out of my house quicker, but I wouldn’t have talked to her very much, you know you can coparent and not be buddies, lol I know what it’s like to be cheated on, you’ll get to indiffe…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 01:52 PM
5

I gotta be honest with you man, I believe you’re 100% correct! I don’t necessarily think you have to forgive somebody for a terrible disservice, but I think eventually you just become indifferent like I have, after divorce ,a lot of you guys are probably realized your “I don’t give a shit chromosome” has grown huge! Inference is the pathway to healing, but you have to get there organically.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 03:33 PM
2

I believe it’s a thin line, I am now basically indifferent to her, not real high not real low, I just simply don’t give a shit about her. The thin line I believe in forgiveness for let’s say cheating on your spouse, is a little dangerous, I don’t want to forgive other people for doing terrible things to me, and I don’t wanna make it a habit, so I’ve become indifferent, I just don’t think about it. I simply don’t care anymore. I am basically two years out from a divorce so it’s probably gonna tak…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 03:30 PM
2

I agree with this 100%! Good write up, we have to remember our female partners are going through life changes through their 50s for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 02:44 PM
1

Took 2 years of my life after my divorce and did nothing but ME! went to a Psychiatrist, lost 35 lbs, read a ton, listened a ton and learned about men/women and the dynamics of both in a relationship, I'm over prepared for my next Big relationship, but now, i know what i need and the type of women that can give it to me, its a bit harder to find a partner, but Ive got really close twice, they are out there gentleman, in the mean time, dont waste your spare time, not working on yourself, its you …
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 06:56 PM
2

Hahahahaha! come on man, some of what you said is true, I'm 53 and i find women in their 40's to be a real sweet spot for me, not all women over 45 lose their libido, many have just never had an actual lover, who knows how to show them another side of themselves, sometimes its ts not the individual, but who they are engaging with, that turns that libido on. i prefer sex 3-5 times a week. Ton, of great women out there, but a rock solid, compatible person is just a bit harder to find. Gravely voic…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 04:28 PM
1

I totally get what you’re saying, you damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t, does she not get to see her parents during the week or talk to them? Do they live further away or something? I will admit when she’s screwing up your weekends in your off time together, that’s pretty bad. And what’s really funny and I think some people don’t understand is, doctors can be lazy too! We used to have a customer who ran a after hours clinic in our town. She was a female doctor and she was lazy and …
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 11:23 PM
3

Soooo, you dont want your wife to have your shared CHILD. Well, whats your argument? has she abused your child? because, she has the legal right to have and see her child otherwise. And you dont go to her parents with them? which means, you decided to not see your child. I get it...shes a little lazy, but....get a divorce if you want one though, obviously something is really broken.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 09:54 PM
2

All true.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 09:51 PM
2

Hahaha! 😂
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 06:33 PM
3

Truly, my pleasure, I have a TikTok channel. If you guys would like to check it out, it’s called “dating after divorce” I tried to use everything I learned in the two years that I spent working on myself solely and try to mentor people getting back into the dating scene, feel free to check it out.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 03:06 PM
9

Breathe, remember to eat, and remember to stay hydrated, acceptance is the first phase in healing, I know a lot of people who skipped the acceptance phase, and they stay in limbo for a very long time, this is happening to you, it’s not going away and you’re going to need to deal with it, which means you need to go straight through it, not around it or under it, the acceptance phase takes time sometimes a year, but you have to understand that this is happening and it’s not going away, you’ve got …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 02:20 PM
2

Absolutely true, I agree with this 100%. Once a woman especially cheats on you, she’s been over you for a very long time, she has nothing left that you can actually build back into a relationship anyway, but the time they actually cheat they have probably spent a year or maybe a few months already emotionally squeezing you out of their veins, it’s a fools errand to even try to reconcile at that point, plus there’s research done on cheaters, and the percentage of cheaters who reach cheat is prett…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 06:21 PM
3

Totally untrue, a facial is a special thing and I'm not wasting it on a partner who isn't worthy of such an act, i never preform a facial out of anger or in a demeaning way.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 05:16 PM
3

Its a business matter at that point, that's how you treat it, cold and pragmatic.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 05:11 PM
5

Proud of you, mine stated crying, when i rolled over in bed and told her i could do better then her and i want a divorce, she cried i smirked, she cheated and thought i would actually hang on, lol nope!
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 05:10 PM
2

Good man, cheating should have no reverse gear, no idea!! why there are guys on here still trying to work with their wives and their cheating, fellas.....stop, just stop and file, cheaters will always cheat, nobody accidentally falls on a dyck 36 times, lol
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 05:09 PM
2

If she cheated its super simple, she broke the marriage contract, so you dont need to feel guilty or have any emotions for her, i would just get the papers and place them in front of her and tell her, you would like them signed asap so you can get away from her. Shes already gone anyway, make it official and then dont communicate, however you need to make a list of the things you are going to split, also if you have a joint bank account? take half now, take a pic of the account whole and split a…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 05:07 PM
3

Agreed 👍🏼
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 06:47 PM
3

I have found that the 40-year-old Mark becomes a bit of a 50-50 for women, women generally find their empowerment in their 40s, which can be a sexy fun time! But if they don’t know how to wield that sword correctly? They end up cutting and slashing everybody around them, this is when you see divorces happen, this is when you see Mom or your wife acting like a person you’ve never known, this is when the midlife crisis hits! Those are generally, the women who have no idea how to wield the sort of …
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 02:45 PM
1

Although I do not believe this is the case for every woman on the planet, this is sadly the case for a very large percentage of women on the planet, you can’t hear the same thing over and over and over and not see that it’s a pattern. But I do believe dating a female who has been divorced and maybe she’s even been cheated on? I really do believe that’s the right partner, they understand that trauma and I don’t think they’d want to get to a relationship and screw it up, but it’s getting them to c…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 02:11 PM
1

I appreciate it, and I don’t look at dating as a second job, I don’t put that much effort into it, but I know that there is a compatible female out there somewhere, I think when you really truly get to know yourself and you’re honest about what you want and what you need, you find the dating becomes even harder, because you know exactly the style of person that you need in your life to make you happy. I know she’s out there, but I also have no problem waiting and working on myself and enjoying m…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 02:09 PM
2

Who would down vote this? Lol I’m in complete cahoots and agreement with your post, I have a strong hippie spirit, which means being open minded, still exploring parts of myself and the world that I haven’t explored yet, yes, cannabis is part of it, yes maybe once or twice a year psychedelics might be a part of it? When you really know who you are , you don’t just take on any partner, you want a partner that you have a lot of strong energy with, it’s like you’re reading out of the same book, the…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 02:06 PM
1

I’ve always had a hippie spirit, but I’m also smart enough to know that you have to look and dress a certain way to make it out in the work field and make money, although my current industry is drying up and I’m looking for a new career at 53, But having a touch of a hippie spirit is better than claiming to be spiritual, and then using as an excuse to be rude, flaky and condescending.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 02:02 PM
4

Thank you, well said! It’s crazy, my past customer who dated for a little bit with spiritual as well and until I met this next woman who was spiritual and was kind of the same way in her bad behavior and absolutely no accountability, I started to put it together that I think spirituality is a real thing, but I think a large majority of women, use it to cover up bad behavior. it’s a fantastic excuse maker, it’s not my fault, it’s the moon’s fault! Every group of people have bad actors, and those …
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 11:28 PM
1

I would assume that cost her some money for court, did she do any time at all?
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 10:40 PM
1

Whoaaaaaaaa!!!!! What the what?! If that story is true, you wouldn’t get a restraining order, she would be in jail for attempted murder! Something doesn’t sound right here, man?
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 10:31 PM
11

Although I really want to agree with you, I don’t think religion has any accountability either, I’m not going to go down the timeline of history to prove it to you, but it’s pretty obvious that religion and spirituality have absolutely no accountability, they have threats of accountability, but they have no accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 10:30 PM
6

Oh, she sounds like a complete winner for sure! Honestly, though, I hope you have cut all in every line of communication to her right? Don’t allow her back near life, and hope that she moves to a different city while she’s at it, when you know a person‘s toxic? You have to treat them like they’re poison. Dan, if it doesn’t work out with this other guy? I bet she calls you to see if you’re still available, lol.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 10:01 PM
3

I talked to her for two hours on Tuesday night and asked her if it was cool just to give her a quick call the next day after work like a 20 minute call and she said sure, so I called her as soon as I got out of work within three minutes. She hast to get off the phone to go take a shower….. This is a woman who spent two hours the night before telling me everything she likes sexually and how she likes it done, does that make any sense? Just flaky as hell, I will not be communicating back with her …
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 09:52 PM
4

That's where i excuse myself to go to the bathroom, sneak out to my car and simply drive away, LOL
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 09:28 PM
1

I don’t think it’s a justification to be a whore, I can’t honestly say that about any spiritual woman that I’ve ever met, it’s really more of a hippie spirit? And I do like that aspect. But I honestly, would not say a whore, I really do believe that’s going overboard a little bit.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 07:53 PM
9

All true, but I’ve had some fabulous female lovers that were not spiritual, and I have to say the women that are over 40? They seem to be better in bed than the younger ones, experience has its payoffs so I suppose, lol. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 06:31 PM
2

I’ve actually read into some of what you’re talking about, and trust me I’ve done enough research to understand exactly what you’re saying as well, I was pinpoint a specific type of female, but you’re right, I wish that the percentages weren’t quite as large, but they are. Many of us guys have dated for years, can’t be wrong right? Accountability is a sign of maturity and strength, and if you don’t have either of them? You really shouldn’t be in a relationship with anybody.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 06:09 PM
2

I agree 100%, that’s actually what I’m kind of looking for amongst some other values and fundamentals, but it’s hard to find a spiritual woman that’s not completely overboard.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 05:39 PM
1

I absolutely love those kind of hippie chicks, I have a lot of hippie spirit in me, the problem is the ones I’ve run across are fine until they’re not fine, until they make excuses why they can’t be with you because things are at centergrade or the moon isn’t full enough, it becomes an excuse to bail on things that you made prior plans for, and they always do it with such a condescending voice and tone, now those are the ones that I’m running into in Michigan! If I was in California, California?…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 04:58 PM
5

Not going to lie, my first read through of your post I thought you were fighting me on this, now I see you’re just doubling down on what I said! Lol yes, a large enough percentage of women take absolutely no accountability for their actions, and it’s a big enough percentage that is now stain most females even when it’s unfair. Not all women are like this, but a large enough percentage of women are like this,if anybody would like to come on here as a man and start telling me all about the apologi…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 04:53 PM
5

It’s called sitting on a throne above everybody else and looking down on them because they don’t believe in your views, it’s the same for all religions and theologies.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 04:34 PM
2

Yes 🙌🏼
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:46 PM
1

For sure, and I think a lot of us guys have been there in our past, but once you go through a few traumatic things, you must learn better not everybody does though. Those are the guys that are married four times! Don’t let the sweet smell of a flower, Become a toxin in your veins. You are truly weak if you fall for that.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:45 PM
1

I love sex on a deeper level than most people, I understand the bonding properties and the energy you can share with somebody you actually care about during sexual intimacy, most of the women I’ve slept with, which is a bit, are not spiritual and like sex just as much as I do, but the spiritual ones act all crazy after, like they’ve gotta get Ajax and start scrubbing it immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:44 PM
1

A lot of this has nothing to do with men or women, the problem is society, and that society has allowed certain things to carry-on that are wrong, Society has taught many younger women, especially if they’re attractive that they can dump on almost anybody in their life, including men and that they’re just gonna sit back and take it, and the worst part about the whole thing? Is they’re right! There’s a plethora of men out there that will put up with disrespect and being groomed and it’s starting …
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:41 PM
2

Do you know what I mean? I just did some unholy shit to that thing and now you think burning twigs and branches next to it is going to give it back its purity? I like it just the way it is, non-pure and ready to roll!
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:25 PM
0

Right, facts don’t matter.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:24 PM
3

I think that’s absolutely fine, just as long as at the end, you pull your pants back up find her front door walk to your car and drive home that night and don’t stick around for the after party, because that’s when the non fun crazy starts. I have no desire to sit there and watch a spiritual woman burn incense next to her Punani to cleanse it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:23 PM
2

Without question, I’ve been through enough 30 minute speeches about the spiritual world and why I’m a POS, lol no thank you, I don’t allow people to treat me that way or sit above me on a throne and look down at me. Just because you’re good in bed, doesn’t mean I’m gonna stick around and listen to your crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:22 PM
5

They could make you feel that way, I’m so far past allowing anybody to groom me at this point, but what they try to make you feel like is that you’re stupid, that you are not aware of this awakening and that you’re actually kind of pathetic, I feel bad for guys who actually fall for this, they like to tell you that you’re absolutely not allowed to masturbate either! that’s not gonna happen, I’m in my low 50s and I have a high sex drive and if I don’t have a woman available? Which I’m kind of pic…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:20 PM
2

I honestly don’t run across many women like that, but I did have my first date after two years of dating with a gold digger, it was a wild ride! I don’t know why she kept hitting on me even after I basically rejected her the entire conversation on the date, even at the end when she knew that I was out, she kept hitting on me and trying to get me to kiss her next to her car, which I just said no thanks and went back to my vehicle. She was extremely cute and I don’t think any guy had ever told her…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:18 PM
1

Yoga is an ancient practice, it may be a gateway for some people, but we all choose what path to walk down, when you’re a spiritual woman, and you can’t find a date for long length of time, there’s a reason and there’s a common denominator. Yoga is actually super healthy for the body.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:11 PM
3

You’re looking at it as one picture and not two pictures, I’m sure there’s a healthy balance to people that are spiritual, I don’t doubt that for a moment. But more times than not when I’ve talked to women that are spiritual, it’s just to offload behavior, not one time I ever seen a woman that was spiritual admit to any wrongdoing, they’re literally literally never wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:10 PM
3

Yoga is extremely healthy actually, I’d actually promote yoga any day of the week or meditation.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:09 PM
2

Hahaha!!!! Expensive happy endings.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:08 PM
2

As far as that kind of thing goes, I don’t really care at all, as long as you’re not going to try to indoctrinate me into it as well, if you leave the barn door open, and I feel like walking in at some point? Then that’s great! But you go be you and you let me be me and let’s try to be together. But people use their belief systems as a crutch for bad behavior, it’s really a form of narcissism.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:03 PM
1

Hahaha!!!! One of my past female customers has a spiritual TikTok channel and a YouTube channel, lol. She’s like a spiritual life coach, the funny thing is she has very few women that she coaches. They’re all men who actually give her money handover fist, because she’s extremely attractive, and these guys are Simps and they’re never gonna be with her, and she knows she’s running a scam.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 03:02 PM
1

You’re absolutely correct, but I think if you’ve been, let’s say through a divorce after a long marriage, people like to call you jaded, maybe people like myself are a smidgen jaded? But the truth of the matter is we now have a lot of experience, especially if we took the time like I did for two years to truly work on myself through mental health Professionals and listening and reading and listening to people stories, so I do not attach easily! I probably have the opposite issue, what I deal wit…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 02:28 PM
2

I know I’ll come off as somewhat of an a hole for this, but I truly believe this could be true, I believe all religions to be cults to some extent, when you believe in something that absolutely cannot be questioned? That’s the very description of a cult. Again, I Date a Christian, Muslim, Jewish, spiritual, or whatever other theology, as long as you’re not insufferable and banging the drum for me to join you in it, if you can respect yourself enough to have your own beliefs and keep them to your…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 02:25 PM
1

I realize there’s a difference, lol. I was thrown out of Catholic school after four years, and I’ve been an atheist since I was 10 years old, I respect peoples, religious beliefs, but I cannot respect the pumpkin spice of theologies, which is spirituality at this point, although I do share some of the same beliefs, it seems like it’s just a trend, women’s big trends nowadays seem to be the Jeep Cherokee and spirituality, lol and at the end of the day, neither of them mean very much when you use …
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 02:21 PM
2

I actually consider myself to be hippie dippy, and I find pagan women are better in bed as well, lol. I’ve just met some women that were crippled by spirituality, I’ve got a woman right now that I’ve tried the date for a week and she’s jumped off a phone call five minutes after twice for no reason, and then all she wants to do is give me speeches for 25 minutes on her spiritual belief system, it’s just too many of these women out there, that are using it as a crutch to be jerks, it’s like any mo…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 02:18 PM
2

Look, I’ll be honest, I’m an empath, so I have a lot of the spiritual world beliefs, when I meet somebody and I give them a hug I can feel the energy like electricity, but that’s an extremely rare event, because I don’t believe we have the compatible energy with many people, But people can use their theological beliefs for all kinds of heinous acts, it doesn’t mean all the people in the spiritual community are bad people, it just means that they use their spirituality as a crutch to make them se…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 02:12 PM
2

On any given dating app, they have a section for religious beliefs, I leave mine blank, even though I’m an atheist, but you’ll see a lot of women will put down spiritual, and that’s OK actually, I get along generally with these women, but the problem tends to be at some point they’re gonna act obnoxious or careless towards you for no good reason and they’re gonna blame it on something in the spiritual world and not on their poor and organized behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:48 PM
1

Although I agree with your statement, I don’t believe it goes far enough. The real issue is this, there are less single men in the world than there is single women, that’s why dating apps are an absolute joke! Most men are sitting on the bench, waiting for a woman to call you up to bat, don’t buy that hype! Women over 40 to be a little less entitled than women under 35 though. They were raised with the Kardashians or Paris Hilton or the diva culture, but you have to deal with her baggage and tra…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:45 PM
1

And I’m totally down with that, I absolutely believe in energy flow and many things that the spiritual community believes in, I’m not an organized religious person. I’m actually an atheist, but I think you can still believe in some organic spiritual things, but plenty of women uses as an excuse to be rude and nasty, I’m glad that you’re doing well with the person that you found and you guys are compatible, but for the most parts spiritual women so far have been pretty insufferable and I find the…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:37 PM
1

That’s all fine and dandy, if shes realistic about it, but Ive had a lot of times, where they tend to take their spirituality as a prioritization over the relationship, and that’s ignorant, we can all find our peace without treating each other like human garbage.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:30 PM
2

Exactly the point I’m trying to make, I know we had a date set for Friday night, but the moon shifted to the left and it’s a little different shade of blue, so I have to stay home, two spiritual women are enough for me I won’t be going out with anymore. And they always seem to be single, that is what people are saying on here.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:28 PM
2

Right!!!!! That’s a great point, men on the other hand? Well, that’s a whole different deal, it’s been well researched that may have a much tougher time dating.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:26 PM
2

They’re insufferable man, I don’t care to keep them around at all, They’ll come up with an excuse to bail out because the moon isn’t blue or white enough, it just seems like an entire belief system based on having a crutch to be obnoxious.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:25 PM
2

I’m an atheist man, and I was booted out of parochial school back when I was a kid, so I have no problem with people, being spiritual, what I have a problem with, is the obvious ability of spiritual women to fall back on their spirituality and never be wrong about anything, but blame the moon, the stars, stars, and everything else for their bad behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:23 PM
1

I don’t think that has anything to do with it actually, I’m actually actually an atheist myself, I was expelled from Catholic school after four years when I was a kid. And I do believe some things with a spiritual world, but most women that I’ve met that are spiritual, never admit up to their own mistakes and always have an excuse to make up for their bad behavior. I’m starting to understand why spiritual women are generally alone.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:22 PM
1

So I think this is the absolute truth, I also agree with you, I I find it difficult to respect any person that can’t admit to their own faults, it makes you look weak and petty, a stand-up person knows when they’ve done something wrong and apologizes for it, not over apologize! That really bugs me when men over apologize for absolutely everything when they shouldn’t, but if you can’t own mistakes, and sadly women don’t own up to their own mistakes ever! You’re right I think the spiritual ones ar…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:17 PM
2

I actually run a dating after divorce TikTok channel and I’ve got a lot of experience dating, but I’m just putting it together with a couple of spiritual women that I went out with, that it seems to be the same thing over and over, you’re right they read something into nothing, I’m sorry I’m not in your centergrade today, but that doesn’t give you the right to ghost me, lol and I believe in a few things they do, but it seems like they use it as a crutch to absolutely insufferable.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:16 PM
2

Oh, I’ve already moved on brother, talked to this women for two hours and then she abruptly jumps off the phone told me to call her yesterday. Called her yesterday and literally 3 1/2 minutes later she hast to get off the phone, I’ve unmatched with her and moved on, but this is the second so-called spiritual woman that I’ve had to put up with like this, it’s fine to have your own beliefs, but you shouldn’t lay back on them and use them as excuses for treating people like crap, you’re not spiritu…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 12:37 PM
1

Yeah, I’m not willing to go out with somebody who can’t own up to their own mistakes, I’m the first one to own up to my own mistakes, because I feel it’s having guts and people generally respect you for having guts, but I’m not dating anybody that can’t own up to their own mistakes or deficits. Or maybe the moon isn’t in centigrade and that’s why they had theirstand date up? Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 12:22 PM
5

It’s funny you said that, I was looking up some information online and they try to make an excuse that spiritual women don’t have partners because they don’t necessarily need them and they’re awakened, I’m thinking listen I believe in some of the stuff they talk about on a natural organic level, but it seems like they’ve found a new way to have every excuse in the book not to apologize or admit wrongdoing, if I get stood up on a date, it’s because the moon wasn’t full, lol
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 12:13 PM
1

From a kid who went to parochial school for four years, and then was suspended excommunicated, let me tell you a little bit of a secret about the church and churches, you’re far better off at home, worshiping who you wanna worship by yourself, trust me, I have seen churchgoers turn their backs on people For the slightest thing, not exactly what Jesus would do now is it? Lol. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 10:26 PM
8

This is an interesting post, I’ll also add that men struggle with divorce so badly, that men are 8 times more likely to commit suicide after divorce than women are. I think at the end of the day the problemis, society has made it almost impossible for anybody to really know us as people, as men, we seem to have to hide away from a lot of our healthy masculinity, because its called toxic. I feel that this is now changing, have you seen the research done on loneliness? Loneliness and men in Americ…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 10:24 PM
5

Seriously though...stop it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 04:04 PM
2

Although you’ve got to use your common sense, I actually learned a lot of sub Reddits, when you see the same scenario or the same stories over and over and over it’s not difficult to recognize a pattern. The problem is the people that you point these patterns out to, that have never paid attention to them, call you jaded or angry or accuse you of not being over your divorce, it’s all bullshit! You simply are much more experienced and can see the red flags 🚩 way before you even get to them.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 10:32 PM
1

I can agree with all that, I don’t mind an actual, real, authentic feminist, though, we’re not talking about the modern feminists that are really nothing more than a misogynist cult, lol but the OG feminists? They’re fine, that’s just equal rights for women and the rights to their bodies, I see no problem with that. But as soon as they start disliking a person just because of what they have hanging between their legs? Bye-bye baby!
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 10:41 PM
1

No offense, but that seems like very dangerous advice, what you’re saying is as long as she treats him. Well, she should still go out and party with her friends and drink, is that what you’re trying to say? Because I would advise absolutely against that, dating does suck! You are absolutely correct, but having to worry about your wife having sex with somebody else who is more of a companion and parting is not the way to go either.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 10:15 PM
2

You’re not being immature, and your scenario is one that I’ve heard played out over and over and over again, one spouse gets clean and sober and the other one keeps partying, here’s what’s gonna need to probably happen my friend, you’re probably gonna have to sit down with her and just have a real honest conversation, ultimately you’re gonna give her an ultimatum between giving you a little bit more time and the relationship more focus or she’s gonna spend most of her time and focus with her fre…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 10:13 PM
1

Look for broken patterns, lack of texts, phone calls, flirting, no desire for sex, no affection. Look for these patterns to break and youll know something is very wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 05:47 PM
6

Some people will say that you’re not over her and that you’re jaded, the truth of the matter is, you’re just trying to find your peace, you’re trying to heal from the trauma, and you will heal, but you cannot do it when the perpetrator is in the middle of your life still. My ex when she found out after 26 years that I would no longer be speaking to her except through the text about the kids, she freaked out! She couldn’t believe that I wouldn’t talk to her after 26 years, that’s how a cheater wi…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 06:30 PM
4

That’s true, but what really upsets them is, you show them a brand new person that they’re not used to, this person doesn’t take a lot of crap and set boundaries and the person that they used to push around and try to groom no longer exists They’re literally dealing with a complete stranger, and that’s what makes him go. Nuts! It’s like the absolute best to watch them get upset over it. Lol. I had a date to tell me that my indifference scared her as much as she respected me for it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 05:36 PM
3

What you’re gonna discover as you start to date a little bit, is that compatibility is super important and you probably didn’t have any real compatibility with your ex, but one thing I’ve learned with almost any confrontation on any level with anybody is, even if you’re out of your mind, pissed off, act indifferent, like you could give a shit what happens happens next. Especially cheaters, they absolutely hate you being different, of course, if someone’s violating your space, you may have to get…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 05:20 PM
4

Correct, which is why you need to go full man on them at the end, no fighting, just lay down boundaries and never flex.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 05:10 PM
11

"she came into my house yesterday to see the kids and acted just fine....she responds with" One of your issues is you seem to lack any boundaries, she cheated on you, makes you feel like an abuser and you allow her in your home? huh? what? she can wait outside and you can walk the kids out, she shouldn't be allowed in your home, it sends a terrible message and make you look wishy washy. All cheaters keep hitting you, its a way for them to blame you for everything and off ramp guilt and you're pl…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 05:08 PM
2

Mine stopped being a parent the minute my third child became 10 years old, the worst part about it is, I don’t really talk about it, but my kids are talking about it now three years later, sad, but I told them at least they’ve got one solid parent that’s always gonna be there. Society needs to start understanding that Dad’s make a great single parent! I don’t think we get enough credit for hanging in there and doing the right thing when the female partner decides they don’t want to be a mother a…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 11:07 AM
3

Did we marry and divorce the same women? LOL
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 04:56 PM
5

So sadly true, learned that will quick after my divorce, i chase 50% and stop, if she cant chase me 50%? I'm out, men aren't required to chase 100% anymore, that was tradition from the Dark Ages till about 1965! women aren't cursed over chasing men in these modern times. If women dont chase back? they aren't interested in you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:19 PM
2

OK, ill tell him, stop frigging trying, you look weak and you cant heal this way :) See simple.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:17 PM
2

Infidelity should..never, never, never have a reverse gear, its a ONE strike aaaaaand you are outta her baby!
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:16 PM
2

Sooooo, why would you want her back at all? i agree with the rest though.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:14 PM
2

Huh? hahahaha! come on Champ, get ahead of the narrative and control it, she cheated...NOBODY likes cheaters, you're in the clear here, you will look like a rose in comparison, and you can sue for slander and libel, play the victim card for a bit, women will flock to broken heated men, blow it up and get in front of his/her narrative.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:09 PM
5

Absolutely, she deserves to know.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:07 PM
1

He's a door mat.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:07 PM
6

My man.....this happened to me, but i never begged her to come back, I'm going to go a bit hard on you, but....dont be a friggin door mat, she put ANOTHER mans junk inside her....think about that, what do you have to save or fix? she did you dirty, first thing? drop allll emotions for her, where she goes, what she does, who she's with, become dangerously indifferent o her and her future life, its not your problem. Did you get an STI test? Want to see something magical? drop all concern about her…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:07 PM
2

Feel free to DM, I do have a TikTok channel that I don’t give out generally speaking, but I don’t mind dropping it to you if you get a hold of me on the DM, I can talk you through some stuff if you like, been there done that and still healing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 10:39 PM
2

Thing you’re already ahead of the game, I thought the same thing about the woman that I went out with that had such high compatibility, hold back your emotions just be happy and have hope, don’t go overboard and do not put her on a pedestal or any of that, make sure the energy is a balanced even, equal energy exchange.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 10:36 PM
2

Oddly enough, I’ve been a man’s man all my life, gold medals for karate, gold medals for almost a 20 year hockey career and I actually can feel very deeply, maybe it’s because I’m Sicilian or something? Lol, but I have also learned after my divorce, the absolute ability to control all of my emotions, and it has helped out a lot! Hold that frame guys. Had a woman tell me once that, she respected my indifference as much as it scared the hell out of her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 09:28 PM
3

In the 2 1/2 years that I’ve been dating I’ve only felt that way maybe one time, and I reminded myself that things are not always as they appear, made sure to hold back my emotions and I took it day by day, we were probably 95% compatible, more compatible than ever been with a woman in my life, but She had issues, she just did not understand the concept of monogamy and so I had to let her go and walked away, but at least I know there’s somebody out there that’s compatible enough for me to make i…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 09:26 PM
8

What a great way to look at it, lol Funny story about two years ago I was talking to my kids high school principal and he said you absolutely have no idea how, every senior year parents are getting divorced left, and right, I guess I’d never thought of it that way.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 12:49 PM
3

I’m two years past divorce and I had a one year separation, does it get better than where you are currently? It absolutely gets better, I think you’re getting through the acceptance phase of healing, as soon as you get through the acceptance phase then you start getting through the other phases, look to have those phases come at you one or two a month, it’s rapidfire, but you have to get through it. I’ll say this to you, sure there’s a little bit of loneliness, even though that I date, but I hav…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 11:56 PM
1

And a bastard one at that. Call ADAM?
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 11:47 PM
2

ABSOOOOOOO friggin LUTELY!
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 11:46 PM
4

"Guys, I’ve been working hard on saving my relationship. For the past 3 months, I have been fighting hard. Taking insults everyday, and having her tap dance on my brain" This isn't working hard on anything, this is swallowing your self respect and giving her your balls, if she treats you this badly? why are you staying? seriously, why? you're treating her like a celebrity and shes treating you like an annoying fan. You need to BUCK UP fast or she is going to ruin you and your poor child is going…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 11:40 PM
1

Ohhhhhhh, you just wanna meat bag you can pound on every now, and then, lol that’s not even an FWB. If you don’t live in the same state? I’ve had plenty of FWB, I’m sort of looking for the long-term thing now, but I still satisfy my needs with the occasional single date. I know for sure there’s still good women out there for every man, but once you know what you want, and what you need, and the type of female that’s going to be able to bring that to you, the dating field gets narrowed down real …
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 09:33 PM
1

Lifestyle
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 07:27 PM
3

Out of state isn't a good idea actually, i want sex frequently and i have never had a problem being honest with women, if i want to sleep with them but not have an LTR with them? i just start hinting at it and many are just fine with it, they just want you to be honest, respect them and not use them, communication is the answer.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 06:09 PM
2

Hahahaha! i slipped into the LS as a single guy and had allll kinds of sex, i still play in the LS, but I'm looking for the next big thing (non LS), but ill sleep with hotwives in the mean time, LOL
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 06:07 PM
3

I have had only about 5 emotions for the last three years, this is normal with trauma, we may get those feelings back? we may not, only time will tell. Right now,those lost feelings and emotions seem like protection personally. I went to my psychiatrist and told her, i dont feel much of anything, and she told me when the right women comes along, ill start to slowly release those feelings again, i think that make sense. Don't force it and just let nature slowly heal you, your chances of meeting y…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 06:05 PM
4

You started dating wayyyyyyyy, to soon and it shows, you're screwed my friend, she was thrilled you had no kids and now you need to come clean....ouch! i would do it before you go on Holiday.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 09:00 PM
1

Well, you got your answer from her i suppose.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 09:23 PM
4

I would curb the revenge and look at yourself, there is NO WAY, i mean NO WAY she didnt throw up a bunch of red flags, she was actively dating behind your back and you never noticed any red flags? come on man! you need to work on actually listening to your instincts!! is that friend who didnt tell you still a friend? because i would never speak to them again, that's a coward, go work on you!!! i think you saw red flags and did nothing about them, shes still a world class scum bag though.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 06:19 PM
1

So, she was just out of being a teen...............wow.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 04:01 PM
1

Simpish behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 04:00 PM
3

Every time.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:59 PM
1

Totally agree.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:57 PM
1

Simpish behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:55 PM
6

Preach!!!
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:53 PM
3

Huh? is that what she told you?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:52 PM
5

Hell no, she asked for 1 last roll and i simply walked out of the room, dont let cheaters still use you, walk on!
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:51 PM
2

You’re absolutely correct, I’m not someone who goes around bashing women at all! But the problem is critiquing a females opinion or what they do is almost measured equal to sexual assault, and that’s what they shoved in our mouth from the 1970s until now, and it’s gotten to the point that women have been pandered to so much by society as a whole, that they act like narcissists, I don’t believe this is every woman, I believe it’s a large section of women, but I’m not going to sit here and bash al…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 08:50 PM
9

That’s so absolutely disgusting, I have an ex-wife that has absolutely no boundaries like this, it’s really bad for the kids and it’s really toxic to the whole family, some of these people can’t be helped, they live in their own world and they’re just disgusting.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 01:39 PM
11

Good for you, my man, she’s doing what many, many, many women try at the end part of divorce, they want you to be on the bench, so if they fail in their next few relationships, they can pull you back off the bench thinking, you’ll kiss their ass and take care of them, don’t play the game! my ex-wife did the same damn thing, I laughed at her and told her I didn’t care to hear from her ever again, she said we had been married 26 years and brought three children into The world and I was never going…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 09:28 PM
1

Soooo, alllll of this!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 05:13 PM
3

For your own self respect, mental/physical health, i would recommend a divorce. Cheaters should never get a second chance at wasting your time, see a lawyer, do it quietly and serve her papers, no reason to fight or argue, no communication before is needed, just serve her papers and leave the room, make up a list of the things you want from the house, she will need it for her lawyer. Move on! you deserve better. If you move out, make sure to document it and have your wife sign it, if not? its co…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 05:11 PM
-1

It’s not actually a terrible idea at all, take it from someone who is a betrayed spouse and plenty of betrayed spouses. I’ve talked to, letting the other spouse know they’re being cheated on, is one of the nicest things you can do, there’s no tilting, it’s called, not allowing another person to live a life. That’s nothing but a lie and maybe even help save her from an STI. There’s no triangulation, obviously, you haven’t been through this before, What you’re suggesting is completely immoral and …
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 12:24 AM
3

It was a beautiful moment.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 05:40 PM
7

The day i blocked her on everything (she was shocked) and felt my spirit jump back into my body, no more hijacking my inner me.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 04:59 PM
3

Its cucky.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 04:57 PM
6

For sure, she cheated on him and still got to snuggle up and play wife, its gross and shows a lack of any spine.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 04:56 PM
3

THANK YOU!!!
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 04:55 PM
3

No, you accepted her behavior and still allowed her to sleep in your marital bed, it shows a lack of self respect and any real personal integrity, you can still be a World Class dad and divorce, thousands of us are out here doing it, you made excuses and laid with a dog, that's why she continued to give you fleas my man. Am i jaded? maybe a touch, but I'm realistic and took 2 years out of my life to learn and rebuild (Psychiatrist, books, men's groups, hearing others stories). You didnt take the…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 04:52 PM
3

This is reasonable, if you down vote it, it shows you still lack any real self respect and still think 100% sacrifice is your duty, but what about the duty to yourself? guys, stop trying to be a pasty and a sucker and let cheaters stay around, you can divorce amicability and still have a shred of self respect, its bad for the kids to see cheating, get you a second, third and fourth chance, its just a bad lesson.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 04:49 PM
7

I dont agree with the high road, i just dont. We all sacrifice for our kids, i certainly did and still am, but to stick with a partner who thought so little of you to cheat, nah, I'm gone, i cant be the best dad i can be, sharing a bed with a partner that's so broken, I'm glad i didnt take the so called high road and i divorced instead, it allows me to be superior partner, without sharing my life with a cheater, self respect counts for something. She was blown away that i cut her off, the divorc…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 04:47 PM
4

THIS IS THE WAY!
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:30 PM
1

All true, wait til the day comes along and the AP's wife finds out (ex hubs should tell her), shes going to find out real quick, shes nothing more then a dime store tramp and a forgettable side piece.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:29 PM
2

Women dont do accountability, sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:28 PM
5

So nauseatingly true.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:27 PM
4

Women can have, super bad mid life crisis, its astounding how bad, men can as well though, but men break out of theirs pretty quick, women will just stay in the fog for years and years. Ill just say it gents, dont get married right now, its not even the court system, its our country and the economic slavery most of us are in, you can barely afford you! let alone a family, and you get to lose half your crap if she cheats or whatever...YAY!!! No one in their right mind, would go to the track and b…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:24 PM
2

So, first things first, the AP's wife deserves to know whats going on, to not tell her is immoral, without my ex wife's AP wife coming to my work and telling me she caught them, i would have never know. Tell the other wife, its gonna hurt her, but she wont be used by her scummy husband either. And people do stupid shit, your ex wife was just a classic azz clown and her mask finally fell off her face, been there, Ive rolled over in bed, looked at her and though "who the F@@K! are you?" so glad to…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:23 PM
2

Women and men aren't the same, say it again Gents! we may be emotional time to time, but we dont go insane!!! your partner sounds like she may have had an un-diagnosed mental issue orrrr she was cheating on you for awhile and just couldn't live 2 lives. Remember, if you treat them like a celebrity, they will treat you like a fan!
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:19 PM
7

As far as I'm concerned, i think she fell into a really nasty, toxic mid life crisis, were talking abandoning our kids for 2 months (have no fear, dad was there) and basically just became a narcissistic creature, which makes me wonder, why she cried when i told her i was divorcing her, OH! she also cheated, soooo.....i still think 4 years later and shes still nuts, from what i hear anyway, i refuse to speak to her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:16 PM
2

Exactly and women may say they want a push around guy, but they reject and cheat on weak men. Women make rules for weak men and break rules for stronger men.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 06:36 PM
4

Slowwwww down, she isn't the one for you champ! she obviously could care less about your feelings or where YOU want to go in life and now shes trying to saddle you with a child, so you can be on the hook even deeper!!! my suggestion? stay where you are and tell her she can move back, think how much $$$ you can save without kissing her azz with ridiculous gifts, cut her loose! she sounds terrible. Mean dont sit by and let the women run the entire show, where to live, how to live, buy me, buy me, …
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 06:33 PM
1

The problem is you think they’re the one! When there’s literally thousands, if not millions of ones! Lol we just had to learn the lesson hard.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 02:46 AM
1

My ex wife was only on the mortgage, because i was blind enough to blow my credit propping up her various interests, if the house was bought after the marriage, she gets half the equity, simple as that. I smiled HARD the day she gave me my check, LOL
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 08:44 PM
3

Wanna know why? Because his bubble hasn’t been burst yet, and he’s still at the beginning of the acceptance phase, if he doesn’t do the proper work to get through this? He will be stunted for the rest of his life, there’s gonna be trauma from a divorce it’s going to stick with you, my mother, is the one who finally popped my bubble, and made me get the hell out of my marriage, this guy needs to get his backbone stiff again, get some self-respect back in him, and get some confidence and get throu…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:08 PM
1

Let’s all be honest here, that second relationship didn’t help you wipe poopy asses or stay up to 3 AM with a kid that was vomiting Lucky 🍀 Charms all over your back, they didn’t have to leave work in the middle of the day to pick up your kid at school who would either punched another kid or bit another kid or shit their pants, lol of course, that second big relationship is easier, you don’t have all the baggage of child rearing and these morons actually thinklook how much they care for me, yeah…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:05 PM
3

Well… that’s what actually happened.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:02 PM
1

I know you’re not thinking about dating right now, but you will, and it’s a bit difficult, it’s hard to meet somebody you’re truly compatible with, but let me tell you something that I’ve learned, my ex-wife abandoned my children with me for two months and didn’t even talk to him, call them or see them, I did raise my children almost alone for the last 10 years of my life and I’m still the better parent, when women see that when you’re dating? That is an automatic heart pounding moment for them,…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:02 PM
2

Great post man, well done! When I was going through the worst of my stuff, Reddit actually did help me, I knew the BS from the good advice, but this was definitely a great place for divorced men to come and learn and see that they’re not alone, that there’s a pattern here, men are no prize a lot of the time either, but women get way too much further terrible behavior. It’s like society has been trying to tell #MIN not to have any self-respect, and not protect himself, it’s time we hit that rever…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 05:59 PM
2

It’s pretty simple, my man, either go and get yourself a coparenting app and tell her this is the only way that you will coparent with her, or as soon as she strays off the path be an asshole! And tell her hey I don’t wanna hear about anything you have to say other than the girls, so go, tell a girlfriend, because I could care less, you’re gonna have to get nasty for her to stop, she is playing you, my man, doormat city.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 05:58 PM
2

Right!!!!!!!!!! and only by text and only when it’s absolutely necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 05:56 PM
2

She was sleeping with him while they were married, there’s no question about that. Any of us who have dated after divorce know how hard it is to find a compatible partner, and she just happens to trip and find one automatically? Come on man! It’s more than obvious that she was cheating during the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 05:56 PM
1

He should’ve went no contact already, when they cheat on you there is no contacting you lay down solid steel boundaries. There’s none of this maybe we can be friends shyt! He should have no contact with her unless it’s by text and only if it’s about their child, other than that? He needs to gray rock, her or cold, turkey or whatever you wanna call it, she needs to understand she broke the marital contract, and now she is gone! She cannot come back, she can’t talk about the past, and he is defini…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 05:54 PM
3

This is the answer, his wife has lost all respect for him and sees him nothing more than a caddy high school girl, bro do you really want to be seen that way? You cannot allow your daughter to see a man in this condition, because she’s gonna end up with a weak man down the road. If this is, what you project, man up, and do the right thing here, you hit her cold, turkey! And you let your daughter also know, that her behavior is far beyond anything that is called normal, it’s time for you to get a…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 05:54 PM
2

For anybody who’s never been betrayed by a spouse, the story might seem weird, why would an ex-wife who is now dating, be unhappy She can’t tell her ex-husband about all of her exploits? This is actually extremely common! This is something cheaters do, it actually almost happened to me, but about five words into the sentence, I stopped my ex-wife from telling me anything, told her I could care less about what she does, where she goes or how she does it, we were separated at the Time, let me say …
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 05:50 PM
2

Why not send them to your soon to be ex-wife? Lol I think that would be more chaotic and funny. 😆
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 09:16 PM
3

Yes, yes I did, not looking to have any triggers in my life. The truth is matter is, I would rather forget about my past with her than remember it. All the pictures with the kids of course I kept. I actually asked my ex-wife if she wanted to come get half of the pictures and she never answered me, I don’t think she has one single solitary normal, formal picture of any of the kids, or our family through our 26 years, it was crazy! Actually found large amounts of pictures of her grandfather, and h…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 01:57 PM
1

I like the little Barb there in the middle, of course, I know how to spell it, I was using voice to text at work really quickly, and I didn’t double check.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:16 PM
2

Don’t feel too bad my friend, I tried for two years! Because my bubble hadn’t burst yet, and I needed somebody to break my bubble, that bubble is that protective thing that surrounds you even in a bad situation that you can’t seem to escape because you still think there’s something there to save, lol it was my mother, who finally called me, and let me know that it had been two years to the date, and I couldn’t believe it, I was living day by day, I honestly thought it had only been a year and a …
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:15 PM
2

Thanks 😊 I took two years out of my life, and hit the books and podcasts, and just talking to people and a psychiatrist. Very seriously, I had to break down all of the fairytales. They tell us in grade school, and had to start looking at relationships and life for what it really is, I call it, blowing the fairy dust out of your eyes, it’s a much lonelier and colder place, But you also realize when you truly find somebody special and they also think you’re special? Which is extremely rare and har…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:11 PM
1

Thanks brother.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:11 PM
1

I love spelling errors, lol
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:09 PM
2

All religion is a cult sooooooo. I used to tend to bar, and one of my regulars came in and was really upset, told me that his wife had turned at Jehovah’s Witness in the middle of the marriage, and now they can’t have any type of holidays or birthdays, or anything of that nature, it came out of nowhere, which means the kids had to cut it out of the lives as well, inevitably he divorced her and moved on with his kids.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:05 PM
3

The problem is your perspective is all screwed up, let me give you a little bit of advice from my psychiatrist from three years ago, you have to absolutely, positively stop thinking of her and your family for who they were in the past, you have to start looking and judging her, especially for who she is today! Why would you live in the past? You already know what’s in the past, I bet you’ve relive the past 1 billion times since you split, and so did I, and so did a lot of guys, stop looking in t…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 09:16 PM
5

I’ll tell you something my Psychiatrist told me about four years ago after I found out that my ex-wife had been cheating, you have to judge her for who she is today! Not for who she was in the past, because that’s not who she is anymore. There is absolutely, positively no question about what you should do, there is only one answer! And that answer is you absolutely do not get back with her! Why would you? She sounds like a tornado of chaos and you wanna walk back in the eye of that crap? She wen…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 04:23 PM
9

So...by her math, she had 95% at home, but went out to find 5%..she sounds super smart, LOL Your to do list: No more sex with her. No affection of any kind. Make a list of 50% of the house stuff you want. Get a lawyer today! Accept this is happening. Get angry!!!! wheres your anger? Don't fight or yell. Shut down all communication with her. Tell her she can no longer sleep in your bed (couch/another room). Stay calm and composed. Cut all feelings for her. This is a business takeover, prepare for…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 04:12 PM
2

It’s crazy, right? That tells you everything you need to know, shes done with you, but not done with the precious little trinkets that you bought her. I asked my ex why she wanted to keep it, and she said that she wanted to give it to her daughter, which I told her why would she want to give a cursed ring from a failed relationship to her daughter? That’s just bad luck! Lol. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 03:11 PM
2

Everything you indicates tells me she’s in the middle of a midlife crisis, let’s keep in mind that when women are in their early 40s, they find their empowerment, which I find very sexy! The problem is, if you don’t know how wield that sword? You end up cutting up everybody around you including yourself, Hence the midlife crisis! There’s no hope their man, they say, midlife crisis can be up to five years long, it’s actual chemical difference in the brain, she’s a different person to you? Because…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 03:07 PM
2

Where the hell was your lawyer at this point? Did you have any representation? You got absolutely destroyed man, that’s awful. Sorry you’re in this position, it’s going to be a long, uphill battle but you’ll make it, a lot of us guys are going up that same hill.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 12:02 AM
1

He said, she refuses to go or acknowledge any problems.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 11:56 PM
1

So shes blinded to the abuse she is conducting upon her husband, well.....theirs your answer, its time to step back and plan an exit. You cant heal someone, who refuse to acknowledge help is needed.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 11:55 PM
0

The date nights wont help a broken marriage, you need to tackle her core issue and then support it with quality time. No amount of dish washing, towel folding or date nights will fix anything, not until you fix her core issues. This is a HER problem because she isn't fairly and honestly communicating her problem (s) to you. I tried to fix alll my ex wife's issues, and it never works, she needs personal accountability, because her lack of respect for you is measurable.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 11:53 PM
0

That's because complaining about chores, is a SIDE EFFECT of the real issues, whatever it is.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 11:49 PM
0

Divorce is not fun...but absolutely required for the mental and physical health of the crapped on spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 11:47 PM
2

Great call.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 11:46 PM
0

I know its tough, but....you cant live like this, your child shouldn't see her mother vocally destroy her father, it teaches the child terrible values, respect and blue print on how to treat others. Don't fight with her, walk away from all arguments and simply tell her, "either you stop abusing me, or I'm divorcing you, i deserve better then this and so does our daughter" you give her single a month, to CARE enough about YOUR relationship and to fix it. If she doesn't? no fight, just go to the l…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 11:44 PM
1

I'm curious.....why would a court let her take More then 50%? that isn't actually normal currently.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 11:38 PM
9

Let me guess? shes in her 40's or upper 30's? shes more then likely going through a mid life crisis, my ex did and it was like being around a psychopath, i divorced and moved on, she abandoned our 3 kids for 2 months as well, sick, sick people man! Let me say what society absolutely refuses to say OK? ​ MEN MAKE GREAT FRIGGIN SINGLE PARENTS!!!!!!!!!! Proud of all you single Dads like me. BRAVO gentleman.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 11:20 PM
3

No, not really. I asked for her ring back, so i could pawn it and she exploded, LOL It was hilarious actually.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 10:51 PM
2

You'll get there, keep string and keep marching forward, she isn't your problem anymore, have the divorce papers served at her job.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 10:33 PM
2

So I come with the little bit of the same background, my ex-wife cheated on me two weeks after I helped get her through nursing school after nine years! That’s right guys! I was set up for eight years, she knew that she was going to graduate and leave, so she lied about her emotions to me, Went to a psychiatrist on and off for two years, and it really helped me compartmentalize and get through it, more men have to look out for their mental health, and every guy in here who’s gotten a divorce pro…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 09:40 PM
2

You got cheated on, the betrayed spouse always learns more after, the cheater simply never learns, never! you need to take time after the divorce and really work on YOU! figure out who you are, what you want and what you will take and not take from a partner, do it right and you will come out of this stronger then you can imagine, so far i have :) Be able to spot red flags from far away, its kept me from being involved with many dates, validation issues, gold diggers and just really angry women.…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 08:28 PM
3

A lot of us have been been cheated on, including myself, I don’t know if I would’ve abandoned her during her surgery, don’t get me wrong though! I would absolutely want to abandon her, but I guess the thrill for me would be holding the secret that I know that she’s cheating until after her surgery and when she comes out and she’s recovering And Wideawake, just simply tell her that I want to divorce and you know that she’s been cheating and then walk out. Emotional affairs are really more toxic i…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 07:48 PM
10

She sounds like she has no self respect or moral fortitude, glad your divorcing her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 11:02 PM
9

Sooo, where do people think he was co dependent? they were together 14 months, well over a year, she also I'm sure made a decision to meet his family and travel with him, that's a relationship and he didnt seem to be leaning on her at all, now meeting the family after a year is wrong? LOL come on. Truth time? she couldn't handle a family unit, she didnt have the energy or moxy to be with a man with children, she could have been cheating, to drop him that quick and that coldly? that sounds like a…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 06:51 PM
6

Absolutely, all divorcee's should be alone for at least a year or even better 2 years. One thing i learned after my divorce, is to be indifferent a little bit with women, its a fine line between utter a-hole and indifference, indifference keeps them searching a way to hook you and keeps them coming towards you and not running away, you have to give them some mystery, but not neglect. They need to know, you're awesome with them or without them. Had a women tell me once, "I respect your indifferen…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 06:48 PM
3

The only reason that I am disagreeing, you have to have something to bring to marriage counseling to fix, this woman has been verbally abusive and has obviously groomed this guy down into a fine paste, it takes a special character to do that and character flaws for the most part can’t be fixed, all he’s ever going to get and all he can ever hope for is lower degrees of her nauseating behavior, which means he hast to sacrifice himself as a man and himself as a person, not to even get into him, sw…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 06:56 PM
2

Agreed 100% OP has to take some blame for placating this monster.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 06:09 PM
1

Please tell me this is a troll post.....
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 06:08 PM
1

There’s so much of this shit going on out there guys, I wish once a partner is done with you they just tell you, so you can get a divorce, but what happens most of the time sadly, mainly with females! Is they turn that lack of love for you into hate for some reason, they resent you for some reason? And then they make it their mission to destroy you, I don’t know if they’re trying to offload their guilt for cheating on you, but it’s absolutely astounding, #MIN, just kind of flake out, but man the…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 12:03 AM
2

Damn sounds like me, same situation, I'm 2 years deep now though, but i get it. I wont ever get an apology though and I'm not looking for one, just working on peace every day and dating here and there.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 08:08 PM
3

You’re gonna get more than enough advice in here and I guess I won’t add to the same thing over and over, but I will tell you this. It’s something I realize it made me feel at least a smidgen better, you’re gonna do everything you possibly can to protect those kids and keep a smile on their face, but you need to realize something right now, you cannot save them from the trauma at least not all the trauma that they’re going to have to go through, you’re just gonna have to be there and support the…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 04:23 PM
3

Not your ex partner, though, not if it’s ending, you want to leave them high and dry. And when it comes to dating after divorce, we all made prostitutes out of ourselves for a long time at least I did, now, I really don’t need any validation, because I have no shame in my game, I know what I bring to the table and in the bedroom, now I’m actually looking for somebody that’ll hang around a while, there’s good people out there, but they are exceedingly rare to actually find. Buy a dog and get read…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 04:19 PM
4

This was one of the more shocking things, i knew her family for 26 years and they treated me like family....until the divorce and nobody reached out and at least sad, sorry things are going this way, i was floored, just a bunch of fakes, my ex brother in law and me are still tight!! his decision actually and I'm stoked about it (known him since he was 15, he's over 42 now), he filled in some holes about his sister (my ex) and agreed she made a turn at 36 and became a mess, we talk 3 times a week…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 03:15 PM
2

I get that, after my divorced, i did wonder why i was cold in some areas with her, that's not entirely like me. However, it hit me! she stopped kissing and hugging me for a decade!!! the sex was there, but no affection, so naturally i just gave up and just had sex and didnt give any affection, it wasn't me after all, it was me reacting to being basically abandoned in my marriage, sooooo glad i divorced her, feel awful for the kids though.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 03:09 PM
9

Hahahahaha! so funny, sex was oddly the last thing to go in my crumbling marriage (divorced now), keep in mind my ex didnt like me, but she kept coming at me for sex, Magic Dicks Unite!!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 02:49 PM
1

Ill tell you a secret, confidence and knowing who you are and what you want, is sexy to men, men issues deal with neglect, being groomed, cheated on and complete lack of respect, women probably suffer some of these as well, give your partner what you want in return and your generally good to go.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 02:29 PM
3

That's correct, I'm in my low 50's and date women 40-55, getting laid is easy, finding someone who really compliments you and allows you to be who you really are and loves you for it....super tough.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:51 PM
2

You need to take a step back and really see if you were groomed a bit, i feel she unloaded on you and you bought in, take blame for real reasons, but dont let anybody blame you for everything.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:49 PM
3

From an elder with a ton of experience......yes, yes, yes!!!! She will be a weight around your neck, you will never heal with her in the frame, cold turkey her once the papers are signed and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:47 PM
3

Nah, women formulate an exit and execute it over time, they are much better at it then men are, my ex for sure was over us probably 9 years before i divorced her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:45 PM
3

Sadly true, I'm sorry and i made a mistake doesn't come out of their mouths much.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:43 PM
1

There it is!!! Someone here has some experience, LOL Well done.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:42 PM
9

First question, did she cheat? Secondly, by your own admission, she wasn't honest with her feelings in the past, so you didnt know what work you had a head of you, that's on her. To heal properly, you need to have her out of your life, you cant heal if shes texting, calling and catching up with you, any good mental health care worker will tell you this. I would tell her you need time and space and would appreciate her not contacting you, you need isolation, to work through the trauma and start t…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:40 PM
3

I get it, i basically graze dating apps, make sure I'm up to date and let them come to me, i found a realllly good match for me about a year ago, but caught her lying a few times, sooo, bye bye baby!
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:36 PM
1

Hey big guy, I’m also attractive and make a six figure income, but I don’t put it on my profile, I didn’t say, getting laid wasn’t easy, that’s the easiest thing in the entire world, but I don’t need the validation because I validate myself daily. If you’re looking for a very good and stable compatible partner, it is extremely hard, it’s a needle in a haystack. Yes, I have found some entitlement with women over 45, but I think most of the entitlement and bad behavior and golddiggers are below th…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 03:20 PM
3

Don’t kill yourself, I honestly do not believe that claim, I believe it’s an age thing I think women under 35 tend to have more issues in the category of entitlement, as a woman gets to her mid 40s I believe she changes her reviews, I think there’s a ton of good women out there, but you have to find the one that’s compatible enough and has enough actual desire for you to put in the work and then you have to do your job and you have to return that energy back to her. It’s real and it’s out there,…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 02:52 PM
6

I have no problem finding dates, I have epic problems, finding a adequate partner that meets my compatibility and more so, deep compatibility. That’s always gonna be your challenge, you’re not gonna hate most of your dates, you’re gonna like them as a person, but you’re also going to find that most of your dates aren’t the person for you, don’t get excited before you go on the date, be a little excited, I suppose, but make sure you tell yourself this is nothing more than an interview! That’s all…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 02:05 PM
1

Women file for divorce 80% of the time, that doesn’t mean they’re always right for the divorce it doesn’t mean they’re always wrong, but it certainly doesn’t mean you can’t file for divorce. I hope your reasons for wanting divorce are good, I know mine was for sure, but divorce takes a toll on you, it changes you as a person for the rest of your life, I’m a lot stronger person now than I was before, but sometimes I fear, I’m too strong, but better that than, walking into another relationship, na…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 01:51 PM
10

I think it would be silly to say that a good woman can’t add to your life, of course they can. But you need to be fine all by yourself, you always need to be your own B plan! That’s probably the most important thing, that way you won’t stay in a crappy relationship you shouldn’t be in, because you already know what the future is, it’s you! But of course a good woman can add something to your life. But be aware, finding the deep, deep compatibility in a partner to have a really good relationship …
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 10:04 PM
1

You’re missing the point, and I blame myself for not expanding on my thought, here’s the thing, my lawyer came highly recommended, and the SOB didn’t even show up to some of my preliminaries. I was honestly my own lawyer! I couldn’t believe it, and at that point, I had lost half of my equity, so I couldn’t even re-sue this guy or figure out why I would be paying him the money I did for him not to show up, so I’m glad that I showed up so the other attorney and my ex-wife couldn’t take advantage o…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 11:03 PM
1

Huh? i showed up to my prelims and it was fine, seems like everybody knows everything about Judges? lol, ya dont.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 06:58 PM
1

She cant BY LAW just get everything, may i ask why you are divorcing? yes, it plays into my view of this.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 06:56 PM
7

Married for 26 years, after 8 years the sex continued, but no kissing or hugging ever came back. I knew she was over it, i stayed another 20 years for our 3 kids....one of the worse decisions of my life, see the Red Flags, DO something about the red flags. All i did when i dumped her (she ended up cheating) was delay the hurt for the kids, dont do this! if its dead? leave!!!! FYI her family actually sided with me :)
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 10:47 PM
22

No, it lacks all self respect and reeks of any shred of dignity. My ex called me during the separation and asked if i wanted to have sex..i sad not a a chance! she then asked, what are you doing instead of having sex with me tonight? i said, finishing this joint and petting the dog, LOL ​ She simply hung up :) (she cheated, FYI, hence my coldness)
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:31 PM
2

It’s sad, because nobody should allow themselves to live that way. Nobody should live with a cheater, if you do that, or you take a cheater back? You have to actually dissolve a huge amount of your own self-respect, and that’s not mentally or physically healthy.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 12:47 PM
14

Being a men's sub Reddit and dealing with a lot of men going through Hell, sometimes we act like NFL coaches and light them up, not to hurt them but to wake them up from there groomed slumber and get them moving forward, we only have a post, so we put our advice out there boldly. Not all advice is good, but i learned a ton here actually.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 08:52 PM
3

Your biggest problem is...you. You're in competition with your ex wife over dating? there are more men on dating apps then women, and dating apps put men at a crazy bad disadvantage, your real partner is going to take time to arrive, compatibility is very rare, stop competing with her, you actually think its easier for men to find women, then it is for women to find men? much easier for women, relax , be patient, be you and youll find someone, i have had a few close calls i thought would be an L…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 04:52 PM
4

Had a co worker, who literally banged a women on a boat at 10pm at night before his wedding....it does happen and women do it as well. I hope both are rare occurrences.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 04:32 PM
10

Nope!
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 09:50 PM
2

I’m just about two years out,, understand it’s gonna take you a while to get on your feet, Psychiatrist say for every five years you were married it takes one year to heal, you’ll have some fallbacks every now and then, but you just keep charging ahead, knowing that the best is yet to come.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 02:12 AM
2

Oh shit! I totally forgot. She literally gave me the dog and the cat also in the divorce, lol 😂
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 02:01 AM
3

It was funny, in the beginning she was fighting for everything, she wanted my friggin Blackstone griddle, and I just laughed at her and said, the only thing you’ve ever done with this Blackstone is stand there with a plate, and have me serve you food, lol I knew damn well she was gonna try to give it to her boyfriend, lol by the end of it, I honestly ended up with everything! Except for the fire pit on the patio and about four or five super comfy chairs for the patio, she took nothing else.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 01:53 AM
4

Child support wise? Maybe $80-$100 a month? I simply didn’t need it, and I didn’t need her dabbling in my 401(k).
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 01:49 AM
3

It gets better, without question.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 10:04 PM
4

I made it part of my divorce, that she had to take her maiden name back. In return, i cut her from paying ME child support.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 03:57 PM
4

OK, hold on! You clearly state you want to go back, because your self esteem is so bad, you would rather be in an awful marriage then, be a little lonely and single...that's the between the lines version of what you've posted. You cant do that, that's a recipe for disaster to you and your wife and your unborn future child, you know the marriage is over, now its time to really work on you, women like confidence, height isn't everything, 1m 5'8 but i act 6'4! that's the point, never let anyone tel…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 02:44 PM
1

I went to the gym and lost about 35 pounds and went to Psychiatrist on and off for about two years, as far as marriage counseling goes? I think it can be extremely valuable, but if one of the spouses cheats? For me, it’s just a no dice, to get to the point where you cheat on your partner? You’re already so far gone that many, many will never come back from it, I’m in sales and I know a cop whose wife cheated on him six years ago, and he decided to stay, when she left my office and he was sitting…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 06:13 PM
10

Hey! and welcome, always nice to have a female perspective in here. Save our marriages? hmmm, honesty, raw conversations, vulnerability in the bedroom, see me as a man, not an enemy because of my penis, dont cheat, respect and empathy to name a few, my ex had none of these. You will need to earn trust, as we all should, most divorcees have a large degree of trust issues, as we all should, be consistent, be honorable, be HIS women! and he will be your MAN! And.......SEX!!! lots of sex, people don…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 10:30 PM
3

Let’s be honest, even us with father’s, needed the right kind of of a father! I did not have that, I had to learn through being through some bad shit, and then coming out the other end, and being awake to what relationships are really like in the reality and percentages of the failure and win ratio. I still believe relationships can last forever Not marriage! But lifelong relationships, they’re just very rare defining. You have to be somewhat picky and understand your own compatibility. I have a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:26 PM
3

Nah, nope, no way, his wife knows whats up, so why talk? serve her papers. so her and her family of carnies can go their own way, he doesn't deserve the complications in his life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:20 PM
5

Yea, brother you just got blind sided, that's brutal, move on! you've taken a back seat in your own home. And your wife, is cool with her son dating a female that just dumps her kids for a man? wtf?!!! that's a red flag right there.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:18 PM
4

I think to actually work through infidelity? the betrayed spouse has to swallow some of their own self respect and I'm not willingly to sell a piece of myself at a deep discount, to scab over my partners cheating, nah! I'm good, and in fact, that's what i did , i divorced after a long marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:15 PM
8

What really cracks me up, is counseling after your spouse has cheated, like...why? infidelity should be a no reverse gear situation, 1 and done!
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:05 PM
2

Both work great. body and mind.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:03 PM
3

Once a marriage is so bad, that it needs counseling? it generally just fails. Individual counseling is far better.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 04:46 PM
5

Yep, went to a Psychiatrist on/off for 2 years, its was great. Men generally wont go to work with a mental health pro, but that's just ignorant, go!!! it works, with the right mental health pro.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 04:45 PM
7

Obviously divorce now!!!! Then make sure you tell both to never enter your life again, cut all communication with both, say your goodbyes to dad if you must, barbecue seeing your dad ever again should never happen, let him live his life without a son, he is a scummy, twisted pervert and doesn't deserve a son. You owe dad nothing!!! or your stbxw.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 07:04 PM
3

Oddly enough, she pulled ahead a few weeks from the arranged agreement to file for divorce. We both knew it was over, but I’m the one out of nowhere that yanked the separation on her, and that was truly the dagger to her cheating heart, she laid in bed, cried, and I asked her why she would be crying? She cheated on me and we have nothing that would even resemble a relationship, why wouldn’t I leave? That was one of my proudest and heaviest moments in the last 3 1/2 years.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 02:55 PM
4

I knew that the divorce was coming, but she filed a few weeks before the agreed arrangement, this is not abnormal, women in America file about 80% of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 02:54 PM
1

I was also with my ex almost my entire adulthood! It is not hard to connect with another person, it’s hard to find a person that you can connect that deeply with! And that’s the point, don’t get down on yourself if she doesn’t come along right away, don’t look at dating like a second job and don’t treat it like a second job, dating app suck! They’re levied against men in general, there’s many more men on dating apps in there are women, but get your profile going when you’re ready put some pictur…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 10:23 PM
4

For some reason, your ex-wife is showing some sort of connection to you, and for some reason trying to reach out to you to let you know that somebody that you used to know is probably going to die, this is not a good sign for the new guy whose baby she currently pregnant with. This has absolutely nothing to do with you, I could see a father-in-law, or maybe an aunt or uncle of hers that you were close to? I would personally like to know those, but somebody haven’t seen in 5 to 6 years, no, I don…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 07:02 PM
1

Not everybody is good, flirting with women, I’m gonna tell you a secret? If I had to give my own character a name? I would probably be a lovable, asshole! You have to have the audacity and guts to flirt with somebody, you have to have confidence, but not an ego! There’s a difference between confidence and ego, I don’t sense, an ego in you at all, which is good. If you say you’re in shape, you’re in the military that should’ve gave you confidence here’s what you should do I think, when I go up to…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 05:33 PM
1

Since this is anonymous, I’ll tell you the truth, I’m one of those people who really like sex, sex is away from you to communicate to my partner how much I care about them, so how am I supposed to be physically able and ready to go when I sort of don’t really care about the person I’m sleeping with? I don’t have to love them, I don’t have to be in love with them, but I’ve got to have something that I can connect to, it took me two years to figure this out, I’ve made a new rule in 2024, I’m not g…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 04:06 PM
3

Please read my above comment.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 03:40 PM
3

OK, guys this is something that nobody talks about, of course you have some slight form of ED, you just spent what? 10-20-30 years with a partner and there was some form of connection for you and now that's gone, its sex without emotion, just straight sex and many guys struggle to get past that phase, i dated a women on/off for a year and i was back to normal with her, but i had feelings for her, i do not give every women my full sexual ability, why? because if I'm not that into them, i dont giv…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 03:40 PM
0

I don’t date anyone, who won’t eat my meat, lol No vegan for sex.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 06:06 PM
1

I dont think people looking out for their health are psycho, we live in a country where almost 50% of our preservatives are cancer triggers and that's why Europe has banned them, blue hair? green hair? sure, nah! but vegan is fine, but I'm not currently eating that away.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:54 PM
1

Vegans are fine and its healthy, but i BBQ so ill be a omnivore, LOL
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:51 PM
2

You wouldn't marry again would you? It just makes no sense to me, unless you're religious, married once is enough, living together maybe? sure
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:35 PM
3

So true, getting laid when your single is easy!!!! Getting truly a good, quality partner is far harder and the soulless sex is great for about 2 years and it loses its luster, unless you need constant female validation...which is just sad really.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:34 PM
4

Dating apps are graveyards for men, far more men on there then women, set up a profile and just look at it maybe? once week, it cant be taken seriously. Go to the grocery store or local events, try to meet organically.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:31 PM
1

Sounds good, but you may want to add, just a itsy bitsy dash of azzhole to your character, it works wonders....oddly, LOL
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:30 PM
2

Sounds soulless and way over compensating actually. I validate myself daily, so i dont need a slew of women to validate me, ill just take one bad ass women, if she ever comes along? and Ive had more sex after divorce then i did in High School and i was a male tramp in the 80's LOL
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:29 PM
7

Reddit has been a big help for me, seeing peoples stories with the same issues over and over, is helpful, i know there are crazies on here, but common sense should tell you not to take that advice.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:26 PM
7

Good post, however cheating doesn't truly bring pain to both people, the cheaters pain is personal guilt (if any) and I'm not recognizing that as pain from cheating, its a pity party at best for the cheater.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:25 PM
3

It is man, just dont be to jaded (hide it) and just speak from experience, but see what other people are doing, what they have experienced? you only really get divorced for like 3-4 reasons, the stories are always the same, and patterns are facts. There are good ass women out there, strong, sassy, wonderful women, looking to be loyal, they are just super rare, and compatibility means everything. Be your own B plan, that way if a relationship is going south? you already know who your next partner…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:17 PM
2

Thanks Brother, my own trauma can be used for good :)
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:11 PM
5

She has a mental disorder, so sadly, she's not a trustworthy narrator, do this for your kids and for your mental and physical health, she needs help, a lot of it, but you dont need to be beat on either, she will cheat again and again, cheaters cheat. You'll be OK, but you owe her between noting and zero. ​ Good Luck, watch for her to get really scary as the divorce grows near and she knows you aren't coming back. She has a mental disorder, dont slam her to the kids ever, its a lose/lose always b…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:02 PM
2

Now I'm curious, how old are you? And everybody has baggage, the older you get? the more baggage you carry, its juts natural.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 04:58 PM
5

Research has been done on this, men struggle far more then women to move on, you will move on, but my gut says you've never gotten through the acceptance phase of healing.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 05:46 PM
13

Nobody in the history of civilization has ever had a good experience, with a partner who is hanging out with just a friend. If you’re in a relationship and she’s hanging out with a guy that she said is just a friend? I actually believe that, I think he’s a friend that she has sex with. And nobody deserves to be treated like that.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 12:26 AM
1

Will keep this in mind brother, we were all probably a little pathetic. At one point in our marriages, here’s the good news, you now have the availability, time and space to start to turn yourself back into the man that you want to be. Let’s goooooo!
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 11:40 PM
2

Yep!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 12:27 AM
7

Hold up, just hold up a minute, you caught her cheating and then she says she hast to see how she feels about the relationship and if she can forgive you? Lol this is got to be a joke, right? This is exactly what cheaters do, They try to take control of the situation and they try to control the narrative and that’s what’s happening right now. You first have to find out why she did what she did, but in a way, what does it really matter anyway? Do not buy property with her, and don’t get any more …
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 12:27 AM
2

Yep, yep, yep! Sadly, that’s generally how it goes.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 09:05 PM
3

Don’t let anybody fool you, I would like to say that we’re not that traditional in our marriages anymore, but the truth of the matter is this, if a woman makes more than you? She’s for sure going to lose at least some bit of respect for you, it’s not your fault or anything like that. It’s just the way these things go, there’s a sense of empowerment and power that comes with money, men have been there for so long they sort of know how to deal with it, but women are struggling to deal with power a…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 09:04 PM
7

Hahahahaha! i did this. My ex's new name is..."NEVER AGAIN"
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 07:46 PM
7

Getting married again? bad, having sex before marriage, if you're crazy enough to commit to another Govt contract? Required.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 06:03 PM
2

Seen these so many times, religion can pull people apart, mainly because they put an invisible entity before their own spouse, you became # 2 in her life...if you're lucky, probably after the kids, sooo you're most likely # 4-5 in her life. So, yea leave, you can break it to her first or just surprise her, you dont need an invisible entity in you marriage, it makes you the second Man in her life and that's BS. Personal background, i was born and confirmed a Roman Catholic, went to Catholic schoo…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 05:43 PM
1

Proud of you my man! Many of us are so much better, after the dust of a divorce settles, i cant even look at her and dont.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 05:37 PM
2

No, you’re never safe, and there’s absolutely no guarantees, divorce sits at around 55% in America, and that’s just not a horse. Anybody would go and bet good money on. Here’s the thing, though I actually, think there are some really damn good women out there, it’s just very difficult to find one that understands what a relationship is, everybody has the choice to leave if they want, but not many will actually fight for that love. it’s not a fantasy. I’ve seen people that are very happy together…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 07:19 PM
1

Compatibility is absolutely a real thing, I have met a woman went out with her on an offer about a year, and we had what I would call deep compatibility, those little nuances about yourself for a little things that you like that they also like? Truly, like! Compatibility is for sure a real thing, the problem is finding the right puzzle piece to fit with your puzzle piece, we’re older and wiser, and we’ve had enough trauma in our life at this point, so we understand that you’re going to have to t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 07:11 PM
2

Absolutely, by the time somebody cheats, they’ve already been done with you for at least a few months if not years only after divorce and taking a couple beers to learn who you are and learn about what relationships really are, can you honestly say you understand, compatibility, compatibility is extremely important, and what I have found out after divorce of this, it’s going to take a lot longer to find a partner than I thought that it would, I’m all good being by myself, though, but to honestly…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 07:09 PM
4

Right, so you being depressed was an excuse for her to cheat (shes savage).
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 05:48 PM
10

The reason you dont se more, "i left, because we weren't compatible" is because, generally it goes like this, we aren't compatible, years go by and someone cheats and its over. Its a mistake none of us should ever make again. None comparability is reason enough to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 05:47 PM
1

I’m not saying, you’re a narcissist, I’m just saying, could you be? But if these therapists are telling you that you’re not, you probably are not, so you can stop believing in that. But something makes you probably overly defensive and aggressive, in particular situations, there’s a core to the issue, you’ve got to find that core. But I have to ask you more serious question, who’s advice are you taking on being, a bad husband in the past? Are you sure you weren’t groomed to actually believe that…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 03:52 PM
0

She saw how much you grew, my ex even told me how much i changed, but at that point they dont care, most women dont have a reverse gear and either should we, once they are over you, no amount of $$$ or change will bring them back, do you want to be with a person who is blind when they see you? Hell no! glad she/there gone, you did an age old thing, you did it all and she allowed you to, she at beck and helped groom you into compliance and when she saw no value left in you, she bounced. I bet you…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 02:46 PM
-1

My first 10 years of marriage was tough, we were poor and i was the only one supporting the family for a decade, all the success and failures fell on my shoulders and i had no one to repair me at the end of the day (she lacked empathy) , although i was always repairing her from....who knows what? she sat home. That decade was me on a treadmill running, always running, stop running and youll die, stop running and the family fails, just running was all i could do, after a decade i made a complete …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 02:24 PM
2

All depends on your condition, if you're a narcissist? then, no you cant cure it, you can only tap it down and try to keep it in check. If you're sadistic? also tough to change, but probably easier then narcissism.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 02:15 PM
2

I’m glad that you’re doing better brother, but you got taken to the cleaners. Guys listen to me, please listen to me, and other men who have been through this already, let us control what you think at this point because you’re unable to, your wife is no longer your friend, she is no longer your wife, she is no longer anybody who has any interest in you excelling in life at all, stop playing nice, nice with them, I’m not saying to be a bastard, either, but these people are now worse than stranger…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 06:18 PM
8

Have you found anybody yet? Like we don’t know how to raise children and be parents alone, lol 😂
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 11:58 PM
1

No, I actually understand that, it’s just sad that she put you in this predicament, and I know I’m gonna get trashed, but it’s hard for me to respect anybody who has children from different marriages like your ex-wife does, to me this is a pattern, this is something that she can’t get right in her head, and is now caused trauma and damage to her children because of it.I know too many people with 34 kids from three or four different dads, it’s nauseating, and I feel bad for the kids involved.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 08:52 PM
2

Look, I’m gonna tell you a secret, there’s somebody for everybody, there might be thousands of people for one person maybe millions? The problem is that you’re discovering it is difficult to find the absolute right compatibility with a partner that will lead to a LTR, a lot of us like myself go through a period where we definitely date people that we shouldn’t be, just because we’re bored, and we want something to do, that’s my New Year’s resolution, I’m not going on any more dates with people t…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 08:50 PM
2

Quick question about the step son, did you adopt him? does 50% custody mean you are also providing for him? i would be concerned that I'm spending $$$ and carrying the weight of raising someone else's child, i realize you must love him, but....just curious what bio dads story is? i dont think you would have to pay child support for a child that isn't yours and who was born before your marriage, tough position. And not selling yourself and begging, is the correct move. You haven't worked in 8 yea…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 03:26 PM
5

No way she signs a post nuptial , he is better off threatening to take half of her retirement and then back her off with some leverage. My ex monster and i decided not to go after each others retirement, she actually owed me child support! and i told her to skip it, just back off my $$$.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 03:21 PM
16

Brother, PLEASE!!! listen to me, never and i mean never date her or be with her ever again, she a passive aggressive mess and you will never heal with her in your life, dont be foolish and honestly...cut ALL communication, unless you have kids and its about scheduling, you must grey rock her, shes playing you hard, be the new you, the smarter you, the less self abusive you, move on and cut her completely out. She wants you to ride the bench a bit longer till she finds a new victim to disappoint,…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 09:55 PM
3

You are in good spot to find a new partner (not marriage), your kids are young, when they are teenagers like mine, that's when its sticky. I told one women, you wont meet my kids for at least a year, maybe closer to 2 years, i need to know we are good, before i will allow anyone into my life that deep, she looked at me funny and agreed, same women i dumped 2 months later for lying, soooo, wasn't an issue anyway. My kids know, i have a few FWB's, but i dont bring them around and only go out for 3…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 05:04 PM
3

Quick tip my brother.....go by the first layer of the red pill stuff, because 2-3 layers down? you end up still being a puss, but just an angry, trolly puss. The Alpha BS, says make more $$$, get buff and women will be all over you...so, you're still a slave to impressing women, LOL Make improvements for you and you only, then if women come? great! if not? who gives a shyt. And I'm not going vulnerable on a women who's complaining about how much i wash dishes.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 03:47 PM
5

You cant negotiate desire, so counseling in many ways, wont work.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 03:43 PM
0

Its a simple lil thing called grooming, here's the deal guys, SOME women will start to groom a guy, to be softer and more pliable, it starts with digs to your ego and questioning literally everything you do, over time you question your instincts, self respect and manhood, once they turn you into their lil man b@tch, they look around and end up actually wanting a man again and not the broken, spineless man slave they created, this is where the disrespect and resentment starts and the excuse to ch…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 03:40 PM
2

You can blame the justice system, but if what you say is true? your lawyer was a Class A POS, most judges i have run into, see through bullshit claims. Some judges I'm sure are just lazy and no longer care, so you may end up getting jacked, its a crap shoot.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 03:27 PM
4

I would tell her and her lawyer to simply send a legal demand to see all of your accounts, if you're not hiding anything? that's all they can do, make sure to be preemptive and push back on her BS. We have pretty standard divorce laws in each state, shes getting 50% of all marital assets and she can go stuff it on the rest, love it! when 50% of your stuff isn't enough. My ex wife wanted more then 50% and i told her to talk to her lawyer and sue me for it, LOL i knew darn well she had nothing to …
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 03:25 PM
2

My ex and i cant stand each other and we did it ourselves, so can you...i got almost everything!!! LOL
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 09:50 PM
-1

With all due respect, but when you come on here, and say things, like she goes gay? Which I’m not even sure what that means, it’s sort of denounces your entire rant or whatever you’re asking, it’s obvious that you’re angry, hell we’re all angry a little bit, But if you don’t like homosexuals, or you’re not tolerant to them, maybe you should just leave it out of your post? It almost sounds like you wanna blame homosexuality for the end of your marriage? But for what it’s worth, you should absolut…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 08:04 PM
1

Yea, yea its all bad and the ex sucks...I'm more interested in you already having a new fiance and a new 1 year old, you jumped from one wife to the next and got her pregnant? Please, correct me if I'm wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 09:10 PM
1

My female Psychiatrist was great! She not all about girl power, shes about right and wrong, period.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 08:56 PM
1

That's not even a coherent post?
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 04:30 PM
1

OMG!!!!! so true!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 04:28 PM
2

Right and she can pencil you in Thursday at 1:00 , right after 12:00 appointment with Rick.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 04:28 PM
1

Sooo, ummm, not so much, although you may be right in your thoughts on your ex, by constantly slamming them to everyone? it makes you look sad and weak, if you dont mention it, youll find those same people will shyt on her for you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 04:26 PM
1

Counseling almost never works, because you cant negotiate sex/desire or love simple as that.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 04:24 PM
2

Disagree slightly, i just had complete/ acute indifference to her, it ate her up after she cheated, that her husband couldn't care less if she came home or not, i was able to buy time by simply not fighting and acting like she didnt exist.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 04:23 PM
2

This is exactly how i handled a cheating spouse with no boundaries, shes not allowed in my home, she cant contact me accept by text for the kids and when my daughter is 18 in a year, its permanent BLOCK time! indifference to an ex spouse is very important.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 04:22 PM
2

Reconciliation with a cheater is simply ignorant, it takes acute mental gymnastics to think everything will be OK with counseling....you need to go to counseling because one of you cant stop cheating? Hahahaha! come on, Reconciliation makes the betrayed spouse look weak and unattractive to any women.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 04:07 PM
2

I literally knew a woman, who went home and told her husband that she met a coworker, and she was probably going to sleep with him and cheat on him if they didn’t open their marriage, and the guy did it! Lol you talk about being a Simp.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 05:39 PM
6

I sort of like my villainous side, but I'm not a cheater, LOL
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 04:49 PM
13

Cheaters have an acute character flaw, they will always blame others for cheating, because they aren't strong enough or brave enough to admit wrong doing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 04:48 PM
3

Why is a discussion required? you already know whats up, the discussion will give you zero gains, but frustrations and her lies, save your breath and serve her papers. Cheaters honestly dont deserve a discussion.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 04:46 PM
1

Huh? dont ask her anything, there is zero gain but frustration, you just serve her papers and that's it, no discussion required.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 04:44 PM
2

You're doing fine, they cant read, keep going, but cut all communication with her, shes the last chapter and shouldn't make an appearance in your new chapter.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 04:42 PM
2

Netflix and Chilllllllllllllllllllll
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 04:41 PM
3

100%..however a cuck is completely different. They would be a Ploy couple and it will fail and continue to waste his years on a morally loose women.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 04:40 PM
5

Yep, men are at a super bad disadvantage on dating apps.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 04:38 PM
7

That's what i do actually, have a boom boom date with a local Federal Agent Friday.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 04:23 PM
10

Play the %'s son...she cheated.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 04:20 PM
8

I'm in the Lifestyle as a single guy and ill say this, i have seen tons of divorced over opening a marriage, if you already have a horse? why keep shopping for one? she or you will eventually find what you believe to be a better match and divorce most likely, as a single guy, i have zero to lose, only reason i do it, but as a couple? nah. Oh and just get a divorce, this is already bad and she has already thrown cheating in your face, she lacks respect for you and herself.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 04:18 PM
2

I remember the first day I went to my psychiatrist back in 2019 after finding out that my ex was running around and I was an absolute shock! I remember her ripping off her glasses, looking me right in the face and saying why the hell aren’t you mad? That was an eye-opener. Three months after the shock wore off, and my spine came back, it was a different story. I took a year to get my secret divorce plans off the ground, and within a year she was served papers to her surprise, and I walked. She i…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 02:47 PM
2

I think the real reason that guys keep going back and helping their ex-wives because they honestly have never healed and honestly can’t get over the divorce, so they keep going back and going back and going back to feel a little bit better about themselves when that’s actually the thing that’s making them sick. I’m not saying to start fights, I’m just saying to be indifferent and stop communicating all together, they’re no longer part of your life, if you have kids, you have to talk about their …
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 02:43 PM
30

You cant raise someone else's kids, your not his dad, its your wife's responsibility to parent him. And weaponized sex? Nah, just Nah. Stop getting married, marriage isn't a measure of love, its a Govt prenup and you always lose.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 10:21 PM
5

Porn, she wants to play her banjo to neighbor related Porn.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 09:09 PM
6

You open up the marriage by divorcing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 09:01 PM
11

Women do that when they are already cheating and have dropped any emotions for you, once you play around they feel vindicated for their actions and all is well. ​ The most illogical thinking though.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 09:00 PM
3

No therapy, she has already proven she wants to stray and now because you took away her landing pad, now she's trying to come back, Nah just Nah, let her roll out. She has been over you for a long while, i would let her go, shes way to primed to cheat on you. OK, on to the web searches, any neighbor related searches is her looking for Porn, you just click the video button and all searched interests are there. She wants to open the marriage yet retain you. So, you as her husband, invests time, en…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 08:28 PM
3

Thats some goood sausage!
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 03:24 PM
2

For you and others who have an issue with being nice guys, maybe you should look at things as a business? your business partner just took half of your business $$$ and split on you, you helping that business partner or suing them? I'm not a Mr.Nice Guy, but i have empathy, however i have zero issue with the magic word NO! a word all women fear, if you leave the gang? you are no longer supported in anyway by the gang, i never talk trash about my ex in front of the kids, that's a lose/lose.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 02:41 PM
5

Hey! she loves sausage! ...i had to, forgive me, mine cheated as well, you gotta laugh through some of it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 02:34 PM
4

Couldn't agree more, its the Higher Road disease i believe. Ive seen tons of comments about helping the ex and then a fat excuse for why, you lack self respect and have very little worth, that's why you continue to be a sad lap dog, i can see if the kids are in danger of missing school or Dr appointments and her car broke down. But even then you pick them up and dont fix her car, just to many guys with weak excuses to be super door mats.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 02:32 PM
6

Society has to play a part in this right? why do women do this kind of thing? even if they cheated, they still expect you to simp along and when you cut them off and grey rock them, they play Bionic victim, its nauseating and shows them for who they really are, pathetic users.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 02:29 PM
2

Gimme that money girl!
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 02:27 PM
2

I know where you're coming from,but you're an enabler. And i truly believe you're making excuses for your loss of self respect.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 02:26 PM
2

Here, Here!
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 02:24 PM
2

Oh, you see it out in the real world all the time, I don’t know what you’re talking about? Every time you see a truck, jack so high in the air that you need a rope ladder to get into it that’s a red pill guy, when you see a pair of rubber testicles hanging up a guy hitch? That’s a red pill guy, #MIN, inability to deal with her own masculinity is just disgusting, you can be a decent person, you can have boundaries and rules, and if they’re broken you can leave a relationship, there’s no need to b…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 08:33 PM
2

Can’t wait to read it, I saw something that really got me off the red pill thing, they say if your wife/ girlfriend wants to go out for a night with her girlfriends, dancing ,you’re supposed to tell your wife or girlfriend that she can get dressed up and have her friends get dressed up and they can come dancing or living room, lol So the red pill crew try to act like tough guys, but in the end, they don’t know how to control their partners or trust them anymore than anybody else does, that’s whe…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 08:24 PM
2

When I was over my divorce, I started to do a lot of research and learn, so I wouldn’t find myself in the same position in years to come, I spent over two years with Psychiatrist, books, podcasts, and reading, and just learning. Look into the red pill thing, pretty heavily in the beginning, and I will say this about the red pill crew, the first layer or two are really good tips for relationships for both men and women! I still attest to a few of those today, the problem is, the deeper you get in…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 08:18 PM
1

I’m very specific about my rim job giving, I need to know the female for a little bit, and I need to know her hygiene, lol this is not a first date thing! And quite honestly, only women that I think might be an LTR, would receive that treatment.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 07:19 PM
2

Almost always the case or cheating, cheating is probably an issue here, i think she's getting her physical needs met somewhere else (possibly).
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 03:09 PM
1

I'm not against this, the red pill thing is cool on the first or second layer, by layer 4 on up? its a boo hoo fest. just know your self worth, know what you bring to the table, have some self respect and have hard boundaries, that's all you need not labels, there are weak men and stronger men, but labels are silly. Some of the base level red pill stuff is actually good for men and women, but it goes down quick after that.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 03:08 PM
1

Hahahaha! its a women with no experience or a well marital groomed guy, no question.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 03:04 PM
3

What a trash post, you're a bit of a groomed male aren't you? lol You look over allll of your own needs and just concentrate of sweet cold wifey, seriously? do you have any experience at all? no counseling, no discussion, she knows what shes doing and he bought in for so long, hes basically taught her, its OK to have zero affection for him, and you want to spend $$$ on counseling, crying sessions, peace pipe circles, come on!!! worse advice yet, you make the bed you sleep in, she got what she wa…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 03:03 PM
2

I'm with you, but...i wouldn't do what you said and hers why, nobody wants to beg for sex, she either wants it or she doesn't, holding her up until she has sex with you diminishes all desire and makes you look weak. You just say, "look, its been not much fun and I'm out, best of luck" and then have papers served within a couple of weeks or even better, no discussion, just serve her papers and give no explanation, she knows she isn't intimate with you and she knows why you want out.Still like whe…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 02:58 PM
1

Hahahahaha! stop it, lol
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 02:54 PM
1

Snoop you have a right at this point, she broke a pattern and you need answers, if she wont provide them? then snoop, also watch her saying its depression, sure it can be, but...its used as an excuse and she could have easily said, i know the sex is almost nil, but..and then she could explain, i think its more likely she found someone else, look up monkey branching. Also you stated you dont want her to be tired...whens the last time she thought about you that way? your needs? your desires? your …
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 02:54 PM
0

...Who hasn't rimmed a hot women before, i mean its 2023 for heavens sake, LOL
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 02:49 PM
1

Is divorce a punishment? you would be a fool, not to want an explanation, when a pattern is broken.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 02:49 PM
2

Care to give examples?
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 02:48 PM
-1

Not sure Tate is Incel, hes just a run of the mill sex trafficer and pedophile.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 02:46 PM
4

100000% agree with you, if she was depressed she would more then likely say so, if shes cheating...she wont say a word. No talk, no counseling, just get a lawyer and pop her with papers, no discussion or explanation needed.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 02:43 PM
1

Hahahahahaha!!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 02:41 PM
1

OK, so first things first, its grounds for a divorce, secondly, why did the sex and especially ORAL stop? Likely Scenarios: 1.Someone else has taken your place. 2.She is currently cheating. 3.The cut off of oral is always interesting, that's when a women is done with you, its the first thing to go. I wouldn't even discuss it with her, it'll make you look like a begging dog, just go to a lawyer, pay the retainer and serve her papers, i think you have every right to start snooping as well, when yo…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 02:40 PM
1

Just get a good lawyer, and fight her on every one of those charges. If she tries it, it may be worth the money, I hate to think what she’s gonna tell her family about you, but that’s divorce for you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 12:42 AM
1

Yikes! You need to fight, you need to fight like you’ve never fought before, she’s going to try to take absolutely everything from you, get an SOB for a lawyer, pay the retainer and go at her hard as nails, no sympathy, no reverse gear. Her step kids will understand in time, they’ll see how her behavior has hurt them in the long run as well.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 07:38 PM
1

Yea you did, you just didnt do anything about it, its the same for a lot of us, just learn from this and never repeat it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 06:18 PM
3

Oh guaranteed, shes a manipulative user, seen it hundreds of times, dont worry, she will never be happy and her kids will see her for the morally loose human she is in time. Quick tip: Her new guy is gonna take off at some point, she will use and abuse him and he will leave, that's when you may get a text/call from her, she will be short on cash and need a sucker to come in and pay for her and the kids, until she finds a more permanent victim, PLEASE dont be that guy, no money, no help, no commu…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 06:17 PM
1

Yes, so you wont have any legal rights to them. You married a savage beast my man, flush that turd and move on. She was quite possibly using you to pay for HER kids and was continually looking to monkey branch to a better male option, welcome to monkey branching!
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 06:14 PM
1

You have legal rights to the kids actually and they cant be held from you, unless you're found to be abusive or unable to have a place from them to shelter and sleep. However..how old are the kids? would a DNA test be in order? since shes a cheater.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 06:12 PM
1

They cant hold your truck from you, if you own it and its in your name and you have a title?
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 06:10 PM
2

So here’s the rub, some people truly deserve forgiveness, and some people absolutely do not deserve forgiveness. The problem is, people will say little things like, forgiveness is about letting go of your hurt! That’s a sad excuse, to give forgiveness to somebody that you know doesn’t deserve it. Being indifferent to the person is much better, it’s not forgiveness, it’s letting go of all of it, and letting it slip away, same results but you don’t look or feel like somebody with a spine made of J…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 02:26 AM
3

Although i truly detest my ex wife, it cost me $3000 and i got literally everything! We of course dont speak and aren't friends though...which is great.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 09:11 PM
4

I would skip the separation and just file for divorce, she has you working off her timeline, it will take a few years to have the dust settle, but youll get there, it takes serious time to heal, but dont work off her timeline, you need to protect yourself now and form a legal battle plan, dont go soft, dont be manipulated, dont see yourself as the bad guy (unless you are, i hope not) half the joint bank account, tell your family and friends and lean on their support, divorce, shes asking to have…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 05:08 PM
3

Indifference for the win, forgiveness for the lose of self respect. You dont need to forgive to be happy and healthy, its a huge myth, my ex is a ghost, shes gone and vanished and i could care less about her, no hatred, no ill will. Forgive those who truly deserve forgiveness, be indifferent to those who dont deserve it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:59 PM
1

It really doesn't. I think acceptance is a good thing, but i think indifference to her at all is really the healthiest choice.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:56 PM
2

Love it and agree 100%, i will not forgive her for what she did, but she simply doesn't exist to me anymore, to the point she was originally shocked and hurt she no longer had a hold of me, shocked even though we had 26 years together, i refused to be buddies (she cheated), I'm completely Indifferent to her, i honestly could care less about her or her life. I'm busy working on rebuilding me, forgiveness is such a thrown around word. However, i NEVER talk shyt about her in front of my kids either…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:55 PM
3

You're correct, but debauchery is a fun word, laugh a little.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:50 PM
5

Lets Goooooooooooooooooo!!!
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:49 PM
3

Well said.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:49 PM
5

Wow! this is me, i simply dont care, shes a ghost from long ago, gone and vanished now...but, i have to forgive her now as well? LOL Nah. Simply no longer caring about a person, is more then enough, you can heal just fine that way.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:47 PM
2

Also a decent idea, but the other guy wont think that, most guys are pretty dense.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 09:48 PM
2

Hahahahaha! the guy and your ex are just sad cowards, been down that road, you dont need to meet him at all. Keep up the no contact, its worked for me after installing it after the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 09:47 PM
1

Hahahahaha!!!! Are you giving her $$$? why would she ask, if she wasn't getting any from you?
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 04:23 PM
4

You need to move past that or youll never heal, you cant live in the past, you know whats there, so stop spending time there.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 04:22 PM
1

I could care less actually.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 04:21 PM
6

Yep, Yep, Yep! Learn guys, when a women wants out? she stopped loving you years before.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 03:48 PM
5

Huh? she wanted a divorce but stayed? soooo, that's your fault, you apparently gave her a choice? you realize you can divorce her without her wanting it right? your wife is about to go full porn shoot and you haven't obtained an attorney and served her papers? you need to get serious about his now, almost seems like you're trolling? i hope. And the example you're allowing your kids to see play out is real bad, they need a good role model, that should be you, not your alley cat of a wife. STI che…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 03:44 PM
11

I honestly believe, many women act terribly and with malice over common day boredom.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 10:52 PM
1

Great post!!! Its probably a bit of both, after being betrayed and then taking the time to rebuild yourself from the ground up, you are much more tied to reality, so you see BS wayyyy ahead of most people, they call us Jaded, but were just highly experienced now, trust your instincts always! but, we tend to not give people a lot of rope, its something we all need to do better, people aren't perfect and mistakes will be made, just make sure the punishment matches the crime. We have become the peo…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 05:19 PM
0

Soooo, how would you see your kids? better or worse? moving kids away from the other parent, honestly should be illegal, unless its for really good reasons, they just made your kids a 1 parent situation, friggin brutal. ​ Please dont get married again.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 09:14 PM
1

Ahhhhh, ok I see. Damn!
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 01:48 AM
1

Pregnancy isn't accidental. Did she lie about being on the pill?
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 10:14 PM
1

How? I'm curious how? you mean, if a guy didn't put in the work and is still the same sap he was in his marriage? because that's the only way any of those games get played.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 10:13 PM
1

53 here, just date within 40 + and youll be fine, no reason to date in the farm system my friend, LOL
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 10:12 PM
1

I have zero use for younger women. See, i took 2 years to rebrand and rebuild myself back to who i was before my marriage, sooo, i dont need to date hollow brained, no experience women, i can date 40 + women and do just fine, no games, no BS, no disrespect, and the experience they bring to sex is outstanding. You all have fun in the farm league, but men who have actually put in the work, dont need to play with the amateurs.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 10:10 PM
1

I actually want to her about her divorce and her marriage, you want to go in blind huh? that's foolish, i want her to freely tell me what happened, so i can use my experience to see if I'm going to stick around, that lack on intel will get you all screwed up my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 09:55 PM
3

Oh, Hell no!!!!!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 09:07 PM
2

Bruh....................
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 04:53 PM
0

EXACTLY
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 08:18 PM
1

Or shes getting those needs from another man and using her hubby for lawn maintenance and car care.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 08:17 PM
0

That's really it, at least usually, the derive what they wanted from the marriage and just move on, you know...like locust :)
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 08:16 PM
1

Yup I did the same thing, she had cheated, and at some point, I just rolled over in bed and said I want a separation, she started to cry, and I kind of snickered at her. To be honest, I said, I don’t know why you’re crying? You cheated on me and you’ve never been remorseful or even really apologized, how did you not see this coming? The truth of the matter is she had groomed me to a point that she thought I would stick around forever, she was caught off guard by surprise, and I was happy about i…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 12:25 AM
2

Me: about 4 years go. ​ Me: how do i know when its time for a divorce? Mom: When the pain of a divorce, is still better then the pain of being married. ​ I filed the very next day.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 11:57 PM
10

So flip the script and look at it that way. You: Yea man, i had to cheat on her, had to!! she refused to do any laundry, so..you know cheat! Me: The Fuh? Shes using a lame, old, tired excuse, nobody makes someone cheat, nobody! you may push them to consider it? but the act of cheating is all at the feet of the cheater.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 02:20 PM
2

My bad, and it’s not a problem that go out with your friends every now and then you have to have an individual life with your married life, but it sounds like definitely her friends are influencing her as well, I’ve actually experienced that before it is a bad deal.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 01:28 AM
0

Yea, she’s a mother, but she’s living the life of a single party girl, that’s jacked up! You obviously can go out and have fun as a parent you really can, but I got the gut feeling she think she’s 18 again
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 01:26 AM
6

I know we all like to pretend this is a whole brand, new world and I’ll be honest with you I’ll come right out and tell you, I’m actually a progressive liberal, so we’re the ones over on our side that think everything is equal, equal equal, the truth of the matter is, a lot of us over here, know the truth, and if you’re a guy and your wife’s the breadwinner? I’m not blaming you for anything at all man, but I am telling you, women do not respect a male partner, that isn’t making more money than t…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 11:46 PM
1

Do you honestly ever see her with these girlfriends out? How do you know she actually is out with them? My gut says she’s out with a guy and making you think it’s a girls night out.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 11:44 PM
1

When the other person knows that they have a soft landing pad, they let go of the rope and treat you like garbage, they don’t need you anymore, you serve, no purpose, so they don’t care how they treat you, what makes me laugh it it’s always the cheaters that keep kicking you, shouldn’t they feel bad? Shouldn’t they have some morals and have some embarrassment? No! The problem is is cheaters have a character flaw that will never actually be fixed, you gotta stay away from those people if you can …
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 11:43 PM
2

If you ever talk to a couple or even a married couple, and they tell you, we never look at other people? You know, absolutely, positively they are lying to you! We are a human animal, men and women both, you are going to take a quick glance at other people, that you find attractive, that should not be a big deal, my ex definitely I caught glancing real quickly now and then and you know what? So did I every now and then, It’s about being mature adults, and open and communicating, nobody is going …
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 10:47 PM
2

I just have no reason to be married, I was married I had kids why would I be married again? What is the gain? I’m an atheist, so there’s no religious angle here, and a white piece of paper from the government is not a measure of your love for somebody or your commitment really, your commitment to somebody is actually your commitment! I’m so so glad the millennials are for the most part not getting married or having kids in the large numbers that past generations have. Finally, a generation start…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 07:12 PM
2

There’s no way there weren’t some ripples in the water before you guys got married, were you both single for an extended amount of time and didn’t live together, and now living together is a problem for two outside cats? At the end of the day just go to the divorce, attorney, pay. the retainer, and just get out of this marriage immediately!six months and is still the honeymoon phase and you guys are not doing well, even in that, move my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 06:58 PM
2

As much trauma as we went through, the truth of the matter at the end of the day is, there was no silver lining for the kids, they always take the worst hit, and I would never advise anybody to risk the lives of other people for a 55% chance to lose, I’m glad millennials are finally not getting married and not really having kids, it’s time of generation woke up and smelled the coffee, marriage and kids should not be the majority of people, it should be the majority of people doing it, it is a ve…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 02:05 PM
3

Simple, yet so true, and effective, how many of these guys end up getting married three or four times, I wonder if men understand, you know that you can have sex with women and not marry them, right? Lol 😂
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 02:04 PM
2

Ummmm, Hell no.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 04:11 PM
1

Wow!!!! Congratulations, you’re taking the steps to be healthier, I went to a psychiatrist on an offer for two years, and it really helped me! You need to learn to compartmentalize that trauma in that pain, even though you don’t want to. You still owe it to yourself ultimately to live a life, to live your life, you never know what the coming years is going to offer you, all you can do is deal with what you have today. If I were the children though? After I got a little bit older? I would be kind…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 06:00 PM
1

Yea man, I get it. It’s super rough, you should really seek out a quality Psychiatrist. To help with the trauma.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:55 PM
4

Huh? DO NOT START A NEW FAMILY! Why are you still Hell bent on marriage? have you learned nothing, seriously?
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:36 PM
1

Please guys, PLEASE< PLEASE< PLEASE stop getting married!!!!! I wish i had some sage advice, i dont, marriage and life are very hard, i told a non divorced friend something at dinner Saturday night and i honesty thought she was going to cry? i didn't mean for her to have that reaction, but she doesn't know the trauma and loss of divorce, here's what i said, "You have to get used to losing, its part of life, not much you can do, you save what you can and you lose the rest" she started tearing up,…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:35 PM
-4

Very odd and kinda childish, but ok.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 04:48 PM
1

Good man!
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 04:48 PM
7

So a piece of paper proves the measure of your love?....it didn't work for 55% of all American marriages, but....yea, you got the last good women, Hahahahaha!
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 04:35 PM
7

I mean...YEA!!!! i thought that too, Hahahahaha! Just going from one screw up to the next screw up, he wont have a dime to his name within the next 5 years. so self abusive.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 04:33 PM
3

Switch attorneys, they are working together to suck every last dime out of you, lawyers dont give a shit about you or your family, you're nothing more then a animal for slaughter, i recommend getting an aggressive female attorney, use that female power against the other attorney and your ex, she can go get her own GD apartment, .
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 04:32 PM
2

I mean.......sadly, yea.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 04:27 PM
1

Gay Earth? huh? And why wouldn't you have Power blocked her on everything? my ex was Power Banned as soon as i sniffed a marital issue. And the ones who screw you over? always keep kicking,especially women, its up to YOU to slam your boots into the ground and handle them aggressively (non physical ofc).
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 04:24 PM
1

I know in a few states, they actually have affection laws, that basically state that you could bring the AP to court and sue them for damages, probably a bit of a sticky case to bring to court, but it would be fun to do all the same.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 01:21 PM
2

Again, if I had my choice? I would like to have a partner and I’m sure I will at some point, but I tend to vet somewhat seriously after my divorce. But again you don’t need to be emotionally supported, you want to be emotionally supported there’s a difference, don’t get me wrong, being emotionally, supported at all, Definitely gives you something extra in your life without question. But it’s not a need, it’s a want.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 11:44 PM
2

Women and Men no longer NEED each other, they want each other, big difference and you need to come to the table with a different strategy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 10:43 PM
1

Yep, learning what relationships actually are and how to recognize obvious red flags was huge!!! read, listen and learn you wont be the old you, but that guy sucks anyway, he was groomed and allowed all kinds of red flags to pass by, being the new YOU is the best! but its different. Good on you Brother.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 10:42 PM
2

Here's the deal, social norms are utter BS!!! they are their because misery loves company, you need to live YOUR life, YOUR way, and society and the Bible aren't real good supporters of that., break the mold and be free! Also the trauma of divorce can create PTSD, the chemicals in your brain actually change, my Psychiatrist (when i used to go) told me on day one, "You will never be the same you, you will be a new you"!!!
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 10:39 PM
3

Soooo, in what state does that matter? most states wont even listen to a complaint of infidelity in divorce court.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 02:53 PM
8

Nope, is ALREADY banging.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 02:51 PM
3

However, i have known women, who ask the guy for a small separation to clear their heads (CHEAT) and then come back, its nauseating.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 02:50 PM
12

Absolutely! my ex actually cheated, which of course led me to bail on her after 26 years, but i was sleeping with others during the separation and she got angry! LOL I was like, but.......ahhhhhhh, you cheated on the marriage, love them double standards.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 02:49 PM
2

I had to break it to my ex wife, that my decision to enter into a separation, was not to get space to possibly come back together. The separation was a soft take off to divorce, she looked dumbfounded until she was served papers by my lawyer. So, yes in that case? sex with others is just fine.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 02:47 PM
1

Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 06:29 PM
2

To give you the talk, you really really need, I may have to DM, because I’m about to shred your guts out all over the Internet. You have no self-respect, you are a complete another doormat! You’ve been groomed, and you’ve been tenderized by your partner, were you always this week? if you had self-respect, and you honestly knew your own self-worth, you would stop giving yourself away at such a deep discount! And by the way? Women absolutely hate a man, pleading, begging, and selling themselves to…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 04:28 PM
1

One night I rolled over in bed and just told her I want to be separated, that I don’t wanna be married to her anymore, she told me that she thought separation was a good idea, it’s probably one of the only ways to grow back together and be a couple again. I explained to her no, that’s not what I mean, the separation means the kids have a bit of a soft takeoff until the divorce, the marriage is over I don’t want to be married to you, she started to cry, and I kind of chuckled at her and said, you…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 09:55 PM
1

Do you know the sad thing though, I have seen so many men placate their ex-wives, look in my case infidelity was involved, she cheated, so there’s absolutely no way we’re gonna be friends and there’s no way I’m gonna help her with anything. If you both agree that you kind of just grew apart and maybe made a bad decision back in your 20s? Then maybe, as long as they don’t have somebody in their life maybe ? But if they’re the one that called for divorce? They basically fired you! So you no longer…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 08:34 PM
3

That’s a red flag my man, you need to take it really seriously! When a woman takes her wedding ring off, she literally thinks she’s pausing the marital contract, honestly you need to do some digging and let her know that it’s been a month and she’s still not happy with you? That’s some grooming shit there man, you can’t put up with that, did you do something that bad? Did you get caught cheating or something? Because other than that I can’t see why she would take the ring off and leave it off fo…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 08:03 PM
3

That’s extremely common, we were separated, but I was forced to spend Halloween with her back in 2020 and she asked me if she ever had a flat tire. Would I help her? I actually laughed out loud and said no! Which got her extremely angry, I just kept laughing and saying to her you cheated on me, do you think I’m that big of a pussy That I would turn around and take care of you? It’s soooo crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 06:11 PM
4

However, let’s be honest, this relationship could’ve been bad anyway, and needed to end, my ex-wife cheated, but if she wouldn’t have cheated? I can guarantee you in the years that followed. I would’ve left the relationship anyway. Understand that is not an excuse, and it’s why i laid hard boundaries and rules on her, But I also realized after getting out of that relationship that it was broken from the day I got married to her and it wasn’t gonna survive. Anyway, she just handled it with absolu…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 03:18 PM
4

What a great post, so I’m gonna tell you the same thing I tell all men and really women for that point, because it goes both ways, and here it is! You were making one of the smartest decisions that you can make for your own mental and physical health, you cannot keep that other person in your life so completely and heal at the same time, you have to cut them cold turkey! It’s the only way to make a clean break and start the process of healing, which is going to take you a few years, you must und…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 03:16 PM
6

It’s an honorable choice, not my choice, but respectful.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 02:35 PM
4

I think you guys are all gonna love this story, so the divorce was upon us (she cheated) and I looked at my stbxw, and told her that I would like the wedding ring, I gave her originally back, she flipped her lid! Told me she couldn’t believe that I would ask for such a thing, and that she was going to give it to my daughter on her wedding day, I looked her dead in the eye, and laughed and told her that that ring was cursed! It was cursed from the day I put it on her and why would she want to spr…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 02:35 PM
1

That’s completely normal my friend, I’ve often had to sit there, and thought to myself, my ex has told her new boyfriend, everything about our sex life, it’s nauseating! Don’t get me wrong I’m actually pretty good at sex and I’m actually a student of that game, But to her perception, she saw my passion as aggressiveness, so the guy probably thinks I’m a savage! You know what? This actually may work out in my favor, lol. 😂 Good girl!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 10:43 PM
3

Hahahahha! i did all that, dropped the therapist now though.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 09:11 PM
4

EXACTLY
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 09:10 PM
1

I had one Hot Wife, tell me she wanted to really get to know me, because she wanted to be emotional with me, as well as sexual...i said Nah! she couldn't believe it! her hubby and her were also loaded!!! i told her, you should have those emotions for one person, your hubby and I'm not getting emotional with a taken wife, I'm out!! they were stunned. I'm just not that desperate, i love sex! but getting laid is easy, I'm not dumb or desperate enough to fall for someone s wife.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 03:39 PM
2

Basically the truth, she got caught cheating, by the guys wife. The kids was a much more soft approach, mom had a friend she shouldn't of.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 03:31 PM
1

Oh my man, i dated a poly women once......she asked me once "if we were ever a couple, could we be open" i responded Hell No! she was taken back, but your going out with me who's poly? right! I'm the third wheel, if I'm in a relationship? nah! its monogamous, unless something happens in the far off future, that's consensual (but its usually a disaster)? be the A plan!
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 02:12 PM
3

Great post, I’ve have always mildly used marijuana, but if I’m feeling really down? I stay away from it, because it actually makes things worse. I actually started going to the gym when my divorce was final, I upped my wardrobe, huge! And I started to list qualities that I had, so I could look at them every day and see that I was important to somebody, just not my last somebody, lol if you do things correctly, you can come out of a divorce, stronger than you could ever imagine, sometimes I wonde…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 04:10 PM
0

The only thing you’re trying to defend is your feelings, you don’t have to defend your money anymore, I would never get married again it makes no sense and it’s an illogical and insensible contract, at least in this modern world. If you truly want to be alone, and you truly can’t find any, not even a shred of happiness that might come with a partner? Then totally be alone the rest of your life, I am fine, being alone, I’m fishing or barbecuing or I’m walking my dogs. I have things to do in my li…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 03:01 PM
2

Wow! well written, real good. And remember which social norms are actually sensible? almost none, i believe social norms are there because , misery loves company. Be your own man, trail blaze your own way, be independent even in a relationship, its all about you and just by chance...women love that kind of man!
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:43 PM
3

Its weird, i see my ex as an actual poison, my system cant deal with. I haven't heard her voice in a year and a half, its been great!!! She isn't allowed to call (text about the kids, is fine) and she isn't allowed in my home, i keep her far away.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:42 PM
2

Great post, actually you're correct, during/after a divorce, your brain losses all its pleasure pathways (they are severed), because they no longer exist. It takes a few years for the brain to learn new pleasure pathways, this is the adjustment phase and it takes time, jump back into hobbies, read, fish, BBQ, workout, up your wardrobe, do more of what YOU like, all of this helps the brain build new pleasure pathways, which ultimately elevates the horrible feeling of immense loss, your brain is b…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:38 PM
1

I mean...he can date? LOL If he hasn't learned from the past? then no, but as long as you take time to learn, you can survive just fine with women, you cant hide under a bridge forever, its cowardly. You learn to see red flags before they are even up the pole, learned foresight helps defend against most toxic women/people.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:35 PM
2

Nor my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:33 PM
2

Guys i know, who got a bidet attachment for their toilet, love it! They are like $39
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:32 PM
1

A sense of humor is good, LOL How did you not mention a convenient BJ though?
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:32 PM
3

You're right on my man.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:30 PM
1

You learn to just accept it, I'm not trying to be single, i still believe there are good women out there, just hard to find them. So what? you keep living and maybe she shows up? maybe she doesn't, if you cant be happy with yourself? you cant be happy with anyone else. Ill never marry again, NEVER! but a LTR? absolutely and Ive trained and took a few years to understand relationships, red flags, green flags and have actual self respect, nobody can stop the possibility of cheating? but you can be…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:30 PM
2

Ted Bundy worked with the Nixon Administration. You have male lawyers, male Judges and Male employees of Friend of the court, most of the time, its the guys lawyer who absolutely sucks and its the husband who doesn't lean on his counsel harder. I know a women who pays alimony to an ex hubby, who just stays in his house and does drugs, what lawyer you have goes a long way!
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 03:20 PM
7

Because he was groomed and emotionally castrated.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 03:12 PM
3

There ya go!
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 03:12 PM
11

Sooooo, you're still in the bubble, you think talking and a vacation was going to fix the obvious issues in your marriage? it wouldn't. And what your forgetting is her perception of events, you state 98% of the marriage was good...what does she say to that? this is the issue guys, we constantly look at our relationships through our eyes, not the women's eyes and then were shocked when its over so abruptly. All I'm saying is its all about your partners perception, rather they are wrong or right d…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 03:11 PM
1

Actually...divorce is at 55% not 80%, however, still high enough, i wouldn't bet on a horse called Marriage. And women file for divorce 80% of the time, men commit suicide 8 X more often then women after a divorce, just some fun facts. ​ DON'T HURT YOURSELF>
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 02:09 PM
6

Good guys get torn to shreds and so will you, if you dont wise up, its obvious you spent the marriage placating her, you've built a monster, its time to get nasty and fight back, you know like your $$$$$$$$ depends on it!
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 02:06 PM
3

First Round Salvo: Generally a military term, meaning first attack.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 02:05 PM
1

Huh? You've allowed her to do this, sounds like you're not even fighting back, i guarantee nobody is lying about me in court, because my lawyer will simply ask for the evidence, which cant ever be produced, i think you need a much more proactive style, i think this is what made her turn on you, your inability to fight back, just a theory.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 02:04 PM
4

Oh, yea..guys getting attached to absolute savages never happens, LOL come on man! he is going to get his $$$ taken.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 01:40 PM
3

Rightttt! hahahaha!
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 01:39 PM
5

Huh? as someone with a Lifestyle background..younger women, dont smell better, dont taste better (cringe) and have zero to no sexual experience, they may look nicer, but they are generally useless. Give me 40 plus, that's female Gold!
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 01:38 PM
1

I have my Google phone voice #, HAhahahaha! good call. Had it for 3 years now.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 01:34 PM
0

ABSOLUTELY!
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 01:33 PM
3

First thing is, how old are you? i would never date someone in there 20's, wayyyy to much of an age gap and i have literally nothing to prove. I have the age of someone i would sleep with and the age of someone i would get into a relationship with, personally, depending on your age? i wouldn't date that young, just drama, drama, drama! and youll get used for any of your established $$$$.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 01:32 PM
15

She has someone, you’re not required to be concerned with her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 08:43 PM
3

Its really up to you, however i realllly caution against the being buddies after your divorce, you cant heal properly while they're still in the picture. After the divorce is greedy time for you, time to find yourself and rebuild, you dont need her memory or BS sticking around, she will attempt to get you to help her do things when her young lover bails on her, dont be a lap dog, its over bye bye, she rejected you, but wants to still keep you in her cupboard? nah, just nah. I communicate only by…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 04:40 PM
-1

You're foolish not to tell them, she doesn't matter any more, shes less then a stranger, and you question telling her family? LOL huh? dont be vicious, just be calm and honest and tell her parents and siblings.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 02:37 PM
3

If you have to change, make those changes for your children and for yourself, who knows? Maybe she’s right, maybe you need to change a few things, I can’t tell from your post, because I’m only getting one side of the story. But I can tell you this, we all need to shape up in one area or another, make sure to shape up for yourself first! And everybody else second including your children. If you’re not solid as an anchor? Then you’re gonna break apart and let people down, most people in this world…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 02:43 PM
1

I kind of get a sinking feeling in my heart when I hear that somebody is getting married, it’s not that I think they’re going to end up in destruction, I just really hope that they don’t and I realize that the percentages are only 55/45 that they’re gonna make it long-term anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 02:45 PM
5

Maybe men and women generally aren’t the problem, maybe we’re just not supposed to be together forever? Who knows.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 01:18 PM
2

Hahaha! This is true, look, I get it, right out of my divorce I was having a lot of sex, gobs of casual sex, which I even told the woman beforehand that’s what it was going to be, and there was no problem, you just don’t want to get wrapped up into a relationship right out of a divorce, you gotta let yourself heal, you gotta let yourself figure out who the hell you are again, it takes a while.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 10:24 PM
1

Why would I ever join your crew of scared men? I want to be sure I understand this, if I don’t see the light and come to your side of things, that means, I’m going to allow myself to be abused by women, all of my money taken, lose my home and be a victim? That’s exactly what you’re saying, which is absolutely ridiculous. I don’t need to join some stupid movement, to stick up for myself, see red flags, not allow myself to emotionally fall for somebody too quickly and then allow them to groom me o…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 10:08 PM
1

First things first, don’t fight with her, don’t argue with her, and absolutely do not communicate with her, unless you absolutely have to, also, you do not share custody of the dogs, I know it sounds minimal, but I would fight for the custody of the dogs fully, you can’t take dogs from one house to another, because that’s gonna end up tying you to her, whether you like it or not. It doesn’t sound like you share children? So you can avoid all the coparenting bullshit, and you certainly should not…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 10:06 PM
1

If you know she’s cheating? Why don’t you save the money on the GPS and just go to a lawyer pay the retainer fee and serve her papers, it’s a much quicker way to get this done. Plus, infidelity in divorce court, almost never curries much favor.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 03:35 PM
1

You’re right, the hermit comment may have been overblown, it’s more of a turtle 🐢
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 03:25 PM
1

Actually, there’s a ton of books out there that talk exactly about what I was describing, the problem with your crew of people? Is that you’re 100% sure that you’re always going to be a victim, lol that’s the problem, look, here’s the thing, there’s not much we can really do to stop somebody from cheating on us, or abusing us in a relationship, but if you know the signs? You can cut it off fairly quickly And be done with the whole thing. What you’re describing, is nothing more than a hermit that…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 03:23 PM
1

Oh, Ive slept with more women post divorce, then i did in all of High School, and i got a good amount of play in High School, LOL
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 01:46 PM
5

By your own admission, you're still not over your wife and you're acting solely to upset her, its the definition of not ready. Don't live because of her or in spite of her, live the life you truly want, void of your ex wife's opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 01:41 PM
1

Because, some men/women completely underestimate the severe trauma of divorce, especially the betrayed spouse, the trauma is deep and needs to help worked on, around and through to try and start to heal. Divorcees will add a girlfriend/boyfriend far to soon, just to hopefully make things feel better, its a disservice to your partner and you, because you're not healed enough, you dont have the emotional sense back yet, so the relationship crumbles. Wait,maybe over a year? but, wait until you're t…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 01:40 PM
2

Great post, love it!!!!! Men's Warehouse, clearance section, tons of really nice clothes, go update that wardrobe, be the man, look like the man, get that self respect fellas. I can spot a red flag before it even goes up the pole now, lol
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 02:28 PM
1

Absolutely correct.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 11:57 AM
3

I actually think it’s a bit pathetic, if you’ve learned anything, if you’ve paid attention? You can get involved with a woman and not get burned at least nowhere near like you did before, women get burned by men as well let’s be honest here. Would I ever get married again? Not a chance in hell! And I’ve told plenty of dates that, what I allow a woman to move in? Quite possibly actually, because I’m not moving into her place, lol because if we break up, I’m not gonna move, let her pack her shit, …
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 11:56 AM
-1

You're not right actually, you apparently are afraid to tell her "dont come back, its done" so you play a game...that's sad. ​ Good Luck.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 09:16 PM
4

Because you don’t ever wanna give your ex any satisfaction, and then includes being depressed, or being down over the divorce, you always want to give the image of strength and being a lot better now that it’s over, which you should be working on anyway, going to the gym, upping that wardrobe,getting your confidence back, getting self-respect back. But sometimes you got a fake it to you make it, but I would never admit weakness to an ex, that allows them to internally keep kicking on you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 06:40 PM
4

Never admit depression or loneliness to her, never.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 06:11 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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