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View 1 posts and 294 comments by CommentsEdited on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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15

No, I'm in my 40's. When I went through my "I need to score with lots of cute girls or I'm not a real man" phase in my early 20's, it was still just called "pickup artists" and "game" etc. But once I figured out how to do that, I ended up talking to those women, and realized we're all just insecure people trying to survive, and use whatever stuff the world tells us we're "allowed" to think of as an asset or tool, and it's fucking arbitrary. You can literally just decide you don't want to play ga…
/r/ExRedPill01/04/24 06:14 PM
19

Personally, I would find it hard to trust a woman who isn't capable of close, male friendships. People who "don't do friendships" with members of the opposite sex are effectively admitting they see no other form of value in half the population. To me that's weird and sad. in the past he's been a bit touchy with her and she's had to fend off his advances before. she's had a few guy friends over to her house in the past that have made her uncomfortable so I don't know why she would want to invite …
/r/ExRedPill01/04/24 04:38 PM
2

I recommend always taking it with a grain of salt when a person says, "I can always tell when someone is XYZ..." because you don't get a push notification every time you fail to notice when someone is not XYZ. That's just classic selection bias. Speaking of selection bias. As for the idea of assholes and misogynists "getting all the girls," or whatever, I think you're likely to drive yourself crazy trying to keep a mental clipboard of every "douchebag with a girlfriend." The fact is, persistent …
/r/ExRedPill01/04/24 04:22 PM
5

Considering that basic red pill dogma is that women have the minds of children and are fundamentally incapable of rational thought, I don’t see how they can possibly turn around and also start throwing around diagnoses from the DSM-5 at the same time. Red pill is either right about a bunch of pseudoscientific deviations from modern psychology, including the idea that half the population lacks autonomy and the capacity to think rationality, and can’t help but operate “hypergamously”— NONE of whic…
/r/ExRedPill24/03/24 03:16 PM
3

Aw, you are sweet and brilliant for noticing.
/r/ExRedPill23/03/24 08:58 PM
3

I think this is a good moment to mention that some people have had exclusively bad relationships with abusive/manipulative partners, for various reasons, and I don’t think you should feel compelled to go back and list some positive traits for everybody just because the internet calls it a red flag if you don’t. No one but you can actually evaluate your past, and the motives of those people in it. I hope you can overcome the lingering aspects of your trauma(s), and don’t let anyone tell you you’r…
/r/ExRedPill23/03/24 01:32 AM
23

She sounds like she: is in a lot of pain emotionally… has a very different relationship with sex than you do… (speculating here) possibly wanted to feel close to you, and felt attracted enough for a time to see what sex and intimacy with you might be like… is a terrible choice for you as a girlfriend, because she’s never going to be able to live up to the picture of her you have in your mind, which is going to cause both of you enormous frustration and anxiety, because she’ll be hiding a lot of …
/r/ExRedPill23/03/24 01:22 AM
4

This is what I was getting at with this: I won’t go so far as to say it’s bad if a person isn’t friends with any of their exes, because I know that’s a touchy thing for some people. I have an ex who has feelings similar (perhaps) to yours. When I suggested, very sincerely, I wanted to stay friends because she meant a lot to me, her reaction was basically “Uh, you don’t get to ask me for that and I think it’s kind of fucked up that you did.” But I don’t think she started referring to me as her “c…
/r/ExRedPill23/03/24 12:23 AM
59

One of the healthiest and most important qualities you can have in a relationship is the ability to take genuine pleasure, and feel natural excitement, about good things that happen to your partner, even when it involves other people (especially people they could potentially date other than you). Whereas narcissists, insecure/jealous people, and red pill types will usually find that idea alien and threatening, and will be inclined to parse things you say you’re happy about, to first decide wheth…
/r/ExRedPill22/03/24 07:17 PM
20

Your post would make perfect sense in a pro red pill forum. Here, it seems like r/lostredditors material. Is this where you meant to post? I think this sub sometimes overdoes it with the “Just stop being a dick bro” replies (because many here truly don’t know how to do that confidently), but what you’re describing isn’t that. It’s simply what red pill’s pseudoscientific propaganda is intended to teach.
/r/ExRedPill17/03/24 08:03 PM
20

Here’s the thing, my friend. Human beings aren’t cars. We don’t plummet in value the moment someone drives us off the lot where they found us. As we accumulate miles and kilometers and challenges and episodes of life together with our partners, a third entity is born, raised, matures, and lives with us as long as we’re together. The relationship itself becomes the third person in the room. Always. And that person is an asset—or liability—that your partner’s nebulous “real first choice” can never…
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 09:27 AM
73

What's confusing? Think of any clickbaity, rage-inducing quote you want to hear a man or woman say, get a camera, and keep interviewing people till you've got the footage you want. Want a Flat Earther who's in favor of legalizing sex with llamas and revoking paternity rights for all redheaded men? She's out there. Just keep looking, and offer a free t-shirt if you have trouble. Don't marry horrible, hypocritical people. They're no fun, and they come in all shapes, sizes, and llama skin leotards.
/r/ExRedPill04/03/24 11:57 PM
1

It’s like someone with that “Man shall not lie with another man” bit from Leviticus tattooed on themselves. You know that guy’s even more obsessed with gay people than gay people are.
/r/ExRedPill22/02/24 08:45 PM
5

These arguments usually involve bigoted (racism, xenophobic, etc) religious or capitalistic ideologies Including pseudoscience, like warped interpretations and exaggerations of “evolutionary psychology.” That’s another favorite. the cognitive dissonance that emerges from the desire for total power and the reality that total power is not ethically possible in a healthy romantic relationship. Yup. But they also frequently don’t really even want total power, but total veto power. Depends how contro…
/r/ExRedPill21/02/24 11:31 PM
11

Jealousy of women's power when it comes to sex, more specifically they are angry sex is the one place they cannot control women. Sure they can coerce, lie etc. But at the end of the day, they don't actually control whether a women has sex with them. That is completely her decision. Unless you rape someone, but the vast majority of men do not want to do that, so much so even the actual rapists lie to themselves about their rape. To men who subscribe to hypermasculinity like "alpha", a man is an e…
/r/ExRedPill21/02/24 10:08 PM
11

This question makes me very sad, because it’s really asking, “Who else out there would miss their friendships with women so little that they’d welcome ‘lack of dating confusion’ as a net improvement?” The premise is like the start of some kind of hackneyed young adult dystopia novel.
/r/ExRedPill20/02/24 12:41 AM
4

No. That already is the tl;dr version. Some things should be explained and sourced, especially when debunking propaganda.
/r/ExRedPill16/02/24 08:45 PM
11

Aw, thanks. Anyone should feel free to copy-paste that reply in response to the current wave of “No no no the red pill is all soft and fuzzy and kinda beta when you get right down to it” apologia we’ve been seeing. It’s important for people to understand that just because it makes you feel icky to openly hate and denigrate women, that doesn’t mean you get to pretend your new “red pill lite” is the original. It absolutely fucking is not, and that’s why they’ve been saying “AWALT, bro.” since the …
/r/ExRedPill16/02/24 06:36 PM
11

This never gets old. If you're not a misogynist, you are not "red-pilled." That's not my opinion. That's official TRP doctrine. As is "AWALT": All Women Are Like That. Let's start with official Red Pill material from the subreddit that is 10+ years old. This is all highly endorsed, long-standing “Red Pill 101” and/or subreddit sidebar material. TRP teaches that "sexual strategy is amoral": [Understand] that morality is not a constant nor objective, and some people have determined a different set…
/r/ExRedPill16/02/24 06:22 PM
25

“I am a die hard red pill kool-aid drinker who 100% believes propaganda who decided to go outside. Now what?”
/r/ExRedPill16/02/24 05:34 PM
15

Shouldn’t you master the blade first?
/r/ExRedPill14/02/24 07:32 PM
0

Haha "Eject! Eject!"
/r/ExRedPill11/02/24 11:55 PM
8

It occupies the middle ground between digging through a la carte studies and pop sociology, and it's disproportionately focused on cishet dynamics (not really a downside if we're talking red pill, though), but Tell Me What You Want is a good place to start, and not too dense. And no, I don't think this stuff is necessarily common sense. A lot of people get hung up and struggle to explain their own sexuality, and it can be enormously difficult to talk openly with a partner about these things, esp…
/r/ExRedPill11/02/24 11:30 PM
22

Yup, and manosphere types love to dwell on seemingly relevant statistics like that, but if you actually get to know what's going on in the mind of someone who entertains those fantasies, you'll realize it's not nearly as simple as it might seem. An imaginary rapist is basically a dildo. Women have performance anxiety just like men, but it frequently takes the form of concerns about being unable to orgasm "correctly" or needing lots of time, or not being allowed to just "tune out" and focus on se…
/r/ExRedPill11/02/24 11:00 PM
10

I hate that women want to be dominated sexually because I don't at all and feel like I will always be a minority As a very non-red pill dude who happens to be sexually dominant: It is absolutely untrue that the "vast majority" of women want to be dominated, as red pill purports. The number of men who want to be sexually dominated is much, much higher than people realize. Which I have no doubt is enormously confusing and frustrating for many red pillers who want to feel manly and in charge of mos…
/r/ExRedPill11/02/24 10:37 PM
38

One of my favorite posts I've seen on here. Luckily they are all in healthy relationships and it makes it easier to not see them as someone on “the sexual marketplace.” And it’s weird and I think at the stage I am at it would be very difficult for me to not want to pursue one in particular if she were single. Now I’m asking myself is there anything wrong with that and I think there’s not anything wrong with that. But since she isn’t I can respect it and pursue friendship instead and simply appre…
/r/ExRedPill10/02/24 07:06 AM
1

Misogyny and "All Women Are Like That" (AWALT) have been core tenets of red pill since the beginning. If you guys want to do some kind of Protestant vs. Catholic schism shit so you can feel better about a "red pill lite" so it's easier to sell/sleep at night, I'm all for it. Bring on the infighting. Instead of complaining about lack of "flair" here, why don't you read this, pick which parts you agree with, and which parts you think "aren't the real red pill," or are "subject to debate," and head…
/r/ExRedPill10/02/24 04:06 AM
5

Wrong. This is exactly why the acronym AWALT exists in red pill. All Women Are Like That. The whole reason they invented that acronym was for responses like yours that try to weasel out of it. If you're not a misogynist, you are not "red-pilled." That's not my opinion. That's official TRP doctrine. As is "AWALT": All Women Are Like That. Let's start with official Red Pill material from the subreddit that is 10+ years old. This is all highly endorsed, long-standing “Red Pill 101” and/or subreddit…
/r/ExRedPill10/02/24 12:09 AM
5

From the official glossary: The Wall- The point in a woman's life where her ego and self-assessed view of her sexual market value exceed her actual sexual market value; the beginning of the decline. Usually occurs as a wake-up shock to women when they realize that their power over men was temporary and that their looks are fading. This usually results with first denial and then a sudden change in priority towards looking for a husband. Even after hitting the wall, many women will squander a few …
/r/ExRedPill09/02/24 09:18 PM
13

I just wrote about this a couple days ago: Remember how fixated red pill ideology is on the "sexual marketplace," and the assumption that everything you already want (money, style, muscles) for yourself must be what makes you more attractive. Therefore, there is no need to become a better partner or a better human, or ever feel uncomfortably exposed or challenged, except to be "more of a man." Then you'll get to pick whatever kind of woman you want from the horde that throws themselves at you. T…
/r/ExRedPill09/02/24 12:49 AM
2

Your point about your "local sex toy shop" has been addressed, and you're pretending it hasn't been. All that tells you is what management of that shop has found sells. (Or believes will sell.) It doesn't tell you: Who is buying them. What that suggests about women's size preferences in a partner. How people are using those products. Why do you buy steak knives with blades 4-6 inches long when you're only going to use about 2-3 inches of that to saw away at your food with? What about the differe…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/24 05:19 PM
3

narcissists and sociopaths If you mean clinically (not that "clinical sociopath" is even a thing, really), I'm not so sure about that. I'm not convinced it's that "innate" across the board, but I agree the outward-facing tendencies and assumptions are frequently there. Big topic, I'm not a mental health professional, and this needs mountains of data. But my suspicion is that this often comes down to scarcity of love and options. The more "love and acceptance poor" your environment is, or seems t…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/24 02:47 PM
2

Women believe consent only applies to them. And don't care about whether or not a boy or a man consents to what she's doing to him. She doesn't care if he doesn't want her to touch him. And because he's male, she thinks "he's tough he can handle it." Or "he should be thankful that I'm touching him at all" I’m saying this as someone whose comments here are nearly always coming from a place of “stop being so misogynistic and judgmental towards women”: This one has some truth to it, unfortunately. …
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 07:20 PM
15

I could go on about this at length (as I often do), because it’s a topic near to my heart, and a big part of why I post here. But I’ll try not to this time. I believe a lot of red pill vulnerable men actually struggle to believe human beings in general have a lot to offer each other, and are genuinely missing out on the benefits of having close, intimate friendships. And having other people know and accept you for who you really are, and above all: The legitimate joy it can be to see people you …
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 06:51 PM
2

Sure, I mean that's why I led with this in my earlier comment: That's exactly what red pill thrives on. "Sounds not totally unreasonable to me..." It's also not farfetched to suggest there's a "dating marketplace" or that "sexual capital is probably some kinda thing." By the time you get to the bottom of what they can actually state, unequivocally, it's just some inane bullshit that doesn't add anything distinctive to the picture. "There is a sexual marketplace where some heteronormative competi…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 04:56 PM
13

"Women by and large will be as excited about your dick as they are about getting naked with you." might be a better way to put that last bit. Sexting and sexually charged flirtation between specific people is a different but related subject, and I'm sure we all broadcast different tells and preferences there. Personally, my dick doesn't even rank as a "Top 10 Sexting Hot Topics" for me. Probably why it's so obvious to me how little women care about this, as a general rule. The few that make a th…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 04:44 PM
35

Quoting myself here because I got into this at length (lol) a few months ago. I would also add for this context: if a guys nudes get leaked and his dick is average sized. Why isn't there an even larger outpour of attention and admiration and thirsting from women? As u/xvszero already pointed out, there is a very clear answer to your question. Sampling bias. Women generally prefer average-ish penises. They are not thrilled by them. Why? Because they mostly don't give a shit. No, you won't hear ma…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 03:58 PM
32

The only way to glean anything meaningful from this would be to ignore porn and camsites (those are props), and survey what kinds of dildos women buy when they buy them purely for recreational penetration, and without concern for appearances. I.e. "What kind of dildo do you prefer as a penis substitute, if any, and how do you use it?" (As u/jamar81 pointed out, usability and grip factor in as well.) Like a 6" dildo is a "small" one. And what you'd expect to see available at the bottom end, if wo…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 03:38 PM
2

Being attractive makes you an object of desire, not powerful. Not to pick on you, because you're essentially right, as far as red pillers' misdirected angst goes. But it just happens the way you approached this notion is a little "unintentionally red pilled'. Being a powerless object of desire is exactly what women are "supposed to be" under a red pill worldview. Red pillers go on and on about the sexual marketplace, trying to evoke the idea of a "natural arena" for competition. "It's just econo…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 03:07 PM
3

They'll usually say it's a combination of things like physical appearance, "access to resources," procreative potential, etc. Intuitively obvious things no could possibly say are totally irrelevant to mate selection. But no one has ever pointed me to any research or theories as to how much weight any of these factors carries, let alone assign an actual number or grade/rating/whatever to anyone's SMV. Are looks three times more important than "resources?" What if your potential mate already has l…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 12:04 PM
3

it just doesn't seem that farfetched to believe that women will receive less attention from men the farther they are from their peak That's exactly what red pill thrives on. "Sounds not totally unreasonable to me..." It's also not farfetched to suggest there's a "dating marketplace" or that "sexual capital is probably some kinda thing." There are probably even aspects of evolutionary psychology not entirely unrelated to dating, compared to, say, the gravitational constant of the universe. (Which…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 11:18 AM
5

It's less that the wall exists, but where the wall exists. That is by no means assured at all. As a reminder, this is the official red pill definition of "The Wall:" The Wall- The point in a woman's life where her ego and self-assessed view of her sexual market value exceed her actual sexual market value; the beginning of the decline. Usually occurs as a wake-up shock to women when they realize that their power over men was temporary and that their looks are fading. This usually results with fir…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 06:56 AM
13

Remember how fixated red pill ideology is on the "sexual marketplace," and the assumption that everything you already want (money, style, muscles) for yourself must be what makes you more attractive. Therefore, there is no need to become a better partner or a better human, or ever feel uncomfortably exposed or challenged, except to be "more of a man." Then you'll get to pick whatever kind of woman you want from the horde that throws themselves at you. That all falls apart if women are leveraging…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/24 09:42 PM
8

She actually picked a pretty specific word there, which you don’t always have the benefit of getting to work with. While the impulse to get defensive and/or just say “sorry” half-heartedly and move on is natural, what probably happened here emotionally is that she already felt “ghosted” by you ever since you had sex. In PART thanks to how the sex ended, but in total because once she gave you that word “discarded” for some guidance, you essentially said “Yes, that’s sex with me, and I don’t wish …
/r/ExRedPill01/02/24 08:29 AM
2

I don't' know why people are assuming you said anything about obligation. But speaking as a guy who experienced being sexually frustrated and feeling undesirable in my teens and early twenties, and then turned it around and "figured out" sex and how have a bunch of it... it was good information. But it didn't make me feel more whole, or like myself much more. Best case, it wouldn't make men feel "pretty" or desirable. It just teaches you that's not where the answers are. And just one sexual enco…
/r/ExRedPill17/01/24 12:56 AM
7

Any girl I end up with if I do will have probably already been with hotter guys who didn't want to commit to her I think you're telegraphing something pretty significant there, and it's something very common across the 'red pill' and incel mindset. The fixation on "SMV" and hotness and all these traits men become so sure THEY would value over everything if they were women. I'm often surprised to realize the things some of us take for granted, and how it results in two people having two totally d…
/r/ExRedPill14/01/24 01:22 PM
6

This red pill bad, blue pill good is binary and black and white thinking, throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Red pill is bad. And who cares about "blue pill"? It's not "binary" to point out that red pill ideology is culty pseudoscientific nonsense, and fundamentally and explicitly about embracing misogyny and women as an inferior sub-species. This is just basic red pill sidebar material going back 10+ years. It's not "a few bad gurus." The whole thing has always been rotten, and it's righ…
/r/ExRedPill10/01/24 11:18 AM
1

This thread is just a Rorschach Test for people's own, individual relationships with romance and erotica. (And for the perceived degree of overlap.) The truth is that 10 different people can all do the "same" 1 thing, but that really means each of 1-10 different things is being done by 1-10 individuals. So how do you get any numbers out of that, aside from 1 and 10? You have to talk to those people. It's actually a cognitive bias that's extremely pervasive in red pill, except bifurcated along ge…
/r/ExRedPill06/01/24 09:08 PM
2

Why would you even wanna be dominant then ? Spoken like a true submissive, haha. But seriously: Being "A dominant" isn't really a thing. (Despite red pill mythologies about "alphas"). People who describe themselves as "dominants" across the board are basically just cosplaying as the thing they want to feel like, and be perceived as. People are submissive, dominant, or neither throughout their lives, across many situations, and that's just normal. Being dominance seeking is a thing, though. And i…
/r/ExRedPill13/12/23 02:26 AM
5

Consensual power exchange establishes, and often presumes an ongoing transfer of authority over certain decisions and norms, from one person to another, for mutual benefit. While that might include the submissive person doing things "against their will", even then, if it's healthy, that's because that person wants the experience of being "pushed" over the edge. (And then, typically, "caught" by their partner, as well. AKA "aftercare".) Being the dominant party in a healthy, loving power exchange…
/r/ExRedPill12/12/23 04:09 AM
14

What you're describing is the exact opposite of a "dominant" person. This is someone on the emotional level of a 5-year-old, with adult intelligence. For example, it didn't matter how much you said "that hurts my feelings" because those consequences don't matter to her. But when you set boundaries and consequences, you won the negotiation. You "dominated" her, in a rudimentary sense. Then you found a different equilibrium together, where she doesn't have to pretend to care about you, and you end…
/r/ExRedPill11/12/23 10:33 PM
9

it contradicts the idea that redpillers would have about a female narcisst/sociopath There is no red pill concept of a "female narcissist/sociopath". Clinical diagnosis of mental health is incoherent under a red pill worldview, which bifurcates men and women, making men the only people able to be diagnosed, and places women under an alternative model where the whole DSM-V would be irrelevant. (Although the DSM doesn't have a concept of "sociopathy" anyway. It would be "Antisocial Personality Dis…
/r/ExRedPill11/12/23 10:05 PM
24

People called her a female Andrew Tate based on her behavior. What I admire about her is that she is dominant. That´s kind of how I see her being a narcisst, she can´t take rejection very well. She asks me to do something and I refuse and she goes into this state where she just keeps asking me to do it and pushing me She cares about being percieved as dominant by society. She wants to pay for my meal when we go out. She doesn´t want me to pay for her, she gets really mad if I try. She wants to b…
/r/ExRedPill11/12/23 09:32 PM
1

How can I compete with someone who I don't know exists and for something such as feelings You just do. You don’t have to care or acknowledge it, though. But “competition” is a broad concept applicable to areas from economics to biology/ecology to math (game theory) and more. Ecologists discussing “survival of the fittest” don’t care whether organisms know whether they compete or not. But human relationships also transcend biology, and are only distantly and partially reducible to evolutionary ma…
/r/ExRedPill09/12/23 01:10 AM
7

Abusive narcs also treat everything like a negotiation. Like the only way they’ll “give something up” is after establishing they get something, or that you’re willing to hold the line and break everything if they don’t make a concession. It’s total space alien behavior if you’re not like that, and it doesn’t come naturally to see other people’s happiness as something that must be analyzed and mined for opportunity costs or insults before you’ll “relinquish a smile” and demand credit for it. If y…
/r/ExRedPill05/12/23 10:21 PM
2

What a wonderful comment. Thank you! I’m so glad my words have helped. They often are high effort, especially for "just Reddit comments," often with several drafts (hence "CommentsEdited"). Being also a writer outside of Reddit, I find the "random writing prompts" aspect of it very helpful for me. And we need to figure out how to communicate in more constructive ways. You can't just keep telling people, "Nope, go back to being miserable and confused and starved for love and sex until you have a …
/r/ExRedPill05/12/23 07:33 AM
3

A ha! Admit it you liar you love his adorable sweet face and the way it lights up when you make him laugh! Girls. So shallow and predictable.
/r/ExRedPill03/12/23 02:22 PM
5

I think this is huge. It’s time to put up or shut up about this “girls go for bad boys” trope. What the hell is a “bad boy”? You think you know because of course, it’s so vague, anyone can say “I know what that means, don’t you?” And someone else can agree. But they might not actually agree at all if they got specific about specific men, not just an imaginary character. Basically, the whole “bad boys” trope isn’t about a particular kind of man. It’s a stupid thought experiment: If you ask a whol…
/r/ExRedPill03/12/23 02:08 PM
1

trying to help him emasculated him because it implies he can't do it himself. As for the second metaphor, he would claim to be able to quit anytime. Oof, that's rough. So now in order to de-pill he has to "concede he's less than," even though you obviously don't give a shit about that. It does get really personal. My ex who fell in with the cult almost ended our friendship, because while I of course just kept trying to diplomatically say "It's... just not for me. But I'm glad you're getting thin…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 10:58 PM
3

Yeah I think there a bunch of red pillers that just get butthurt reading the comments here, and feel they can’t let it go, but at the same time, they don’t really want you to reply. They want to delete your comments, and it drives them up the wall.
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 08:37 PM
3

(Warning: This is gonna be a bit indulgent) Sometimes I like to try to think in “emotional physics”. I’m not sure why, but for me, at least, applying a kind of spatial playground for emotions works better than a “sequential” model obsessed with logic. And what I keep “seeing” in my emotionspace, having been at this same intersection now maybe 20 times in the last 12-18 months (red pillers slipping through someone’s/my grasp), is quicksand. Struggling makes it worse. And reaching for someone coun…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 08:35 PM
2

A game I like to play: Asking red pillers to tell me how to calculate SMV. Or at least provide some weighting of, say, status vs height vs looks. Or point me to a study where SMV was employed to predict or model the behaviors of some population of some sort, anywhere, ever. No takers so far.
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 07:12 PM
2

Yup, gender fascism. And that's why the mythology has to be that it's "evolutionary psychology" and a primal need to be "hypergamous", that she can't even help. It's fucking bone-chilling, honestly. They're describing creatures without souls behind their eyes, which will all but roll back and become white when a "superior Alpha's" hormones drift through the surrounding air. I don't think there's a maximum level of potential violence or rescinding of rights that is off the table here, with manosp…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 06:38 PM
2

Yup, I knew you were saying "Look at the trends, but believe the individuals." (I didn't downvote you.) You mentioned it here: All in all, the Red Pill unfortunately falls into many biases, and its arguments often end up in a circular reasoning. The individual is completely forgotten. But it's a widespread problem on all "sides". Even when people are refuting TRP "statistics", we often don't go far enough, because the refutations amount to "No, no, that study only suggested women are 12% more li…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 05:26 PM
10

I appreciate you're going for objective balance here, none of this is "wrong," but I think it's important for people to understand just how misleading this kind of information can be. (Even when technically true.) Humans are incredibly complicated, and bad at predicting or knowing what we really want. As soon as you start trying to "optimize" for some statistical edge, you may be about to lose (literal) years of your life spinning your wheels needlessly. Women find status attractive. / Women fin…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 04:57 PM
1

I would like to offer a slightly different perspective here. First, you're broadly getting two pieces of not-crazy advice in this thread: "Show him the light" with better information. The comments articulating how to do that have been very good, as have the words of sober warning that it probably won't work. Get the fuck out now because he's on the dark trajectory, and the only way out is through. There's a good chance those two things are going to end up being the whole picture, sadly. But! I b…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 04:10 PM
14

This is weaponized confirmation bias. Tons of this in TRP. The biggest one is "Sexual Market Value" itself. The whole concept is built around the idea that most of what you bring to the table is just that: What you bring. As if a relationship is a merger of bank accounts, and so it's all about game theory and zero sum-minded maneuvering, i.e. you're a "sucker" if you bring more to the table than the other person, unless of course you can "acquire" them, or maintain multiple relationships. The wh…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 02:55 PM
3

I'm sure the redpill has gotten even more extreme since the time I entered puberty as a young man decades ago. What I'm trying to get at is that there is a pipeline from seemingly benign "dating advice" to extreme malicious ideology. Yeah, if anything, I've found one of the most difficult challenges when talking to on-the-fence/prospective pillers to be getting them to acknowledge the contents and full implications of what they are actually reading and watching. I will point out that official "R…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 02:44 PM
6

the premise that men are inherently better than women, they should be able to control them and consequently are entitled to their bodies whenever they please. Do they explicitly say this in their ideology? Of course not, it wouldn’t be as attractive to most new redpill members if it did. They 100% definitely do explicitly rationalize abuse and manipulation of women, on the presumption of female inferiority and malicious intent, to secure as much unfettered sexual access and avoidance of accounta…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 01:39 PM
1

Yup. And he kind of is. In that he is possibly the single greatest character study of western masculinity in the history of TV: A miserable train wreck of a person who destroys everyone he gets close to, but at least has the decency to be genuinely confused every time he wakes up in a haze of smoke and regrets, and realizes, once again, he is the puppy who shat on the rug last night, it was a doting woman who cleaned it up, and while he must obviously now ghost her meddling ass, he owes it to he…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 10:19 AM
40

I can give you a few. OP is right on the money and I'd like to hear from him too! They encourage dating very young women on the grounds that they aren’t “ruined” by promiscuity, feminism, and being argumentative (i.e. holding you accountable and having ideas) yet. But they also swear up and down women are biologically childlike, willful, emotionally immature, and in need of firm leadership. So: “Always date immature women, and never forget women are woefully immature.” Women are also after your …
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 09:49 AM
2

What you're describing is called a "parasocial relationship", and it's about 99% likely (my number, not a statistic) to lead absolutely nowhere, because it means far more to you than to them — if they even think about you at all. It's not exclusively a "dudes obsessing over women on social media" thing, but that is an extremely common example. Other examples include people who religiously watch Twitch streamers play games and do other things, making donations just to feel like they're "playing g…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 03:56 AM
4

This is exactly it. Hilariously, "hoflation" is a real and good thing. (With a misogynist name.) Just watch a couple seasons of Mad Men to get a good idea of why it's a real thing. Half the women on that show are petty, childish, under-educated, gullible, easily cowed, and easily impressed by douchey, handsy, low-effort dickwads who slap them around, and send them to a psychiatrist or shock therapy treatments when they become unmanageably "willful". It's also a very feminist show, in large part …
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 03:21 AM
3

I have a painting in my house that consists of an array of small, square, mostly violent depictions of surreal, female-shaped figures reacting to nebulous threats, like knife-like shapes and flames, etc. It's beautiful, especially at first glance, from across the room, but as you get closer, you start to notice, "Whoah. This is kinda fucked up." When a woman I dated asked me about it a few years ago, I explained it was by a Lebanese artist I met in Beirut, who went through a period of dealing wi…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 01:45 AM
4

Anyway, I genuinely don’t understand your hostility to a virgin wanting to marry only a virgin. I don't have that hostility. Particularly in a one-on-one context, where it's an individual, with individual motives. But I do have some hostility toward a bigger trend I've noticed, with a lot of astroturfing behind it: People hiding behind "My personal preferences" when it comes to what they're looking for in a partner. It sounds benign for the same reason "I have a right to my opinion" sounds benig…
/r/ExRedPill28/11/23 07:36 PM
4

all I’m hearing is “women can have preferences but men aren’t allowed to have preferences”. That doesn’t seem the least bit hypocritical to you? You'll have to help me understand where you're getting that. With minor edits to pronouns and whatnot, and allowing for adoption/surrogacy, one could make my comment gender-neutral and also accommodate gay/lesbian pairings, including having children. I'd still stick by it, in that case. Even as written, it allows for a man to have this "preference". I e…
/r/ExRedPill28/11/23 02:06 PM
6

I think this gets complicated in a hurry as soon as you try to unpack it meaningfully. Like let’s take three very different, hypothetical men with this “preference”: A man “saving himself” for marriage, looking for same, hasn’t struggled with temptation, and doesn’t believe “succumbing to temptation” is something anyone except a complete degenerate does, or that “redemption from past transgressions” is earnable, or merited. Okay. Fine. I will concede this man can insist on a “virgin bride” witho…
/r/ExRedPill28/11/23 10:48 AM
5

There’s almost no chance whatsoever that a middle-aged man actually in a romantic relationship with a woman in her early 20's (or younger) genuinely believes she’s mature or experienced enough to be an equal partner, and that’s probably a huge part of the appeal, whether he admits it or not. I maintain we are all being silly pretending that 18-year-olds who read Cosmo — or wherever they’re sourcing their aspirational archetypes these days — and put great effort into emulating what our culture te…
/r/ExRedPill27/11/23 05:54 PM
7

"Old school Red Pill," at least as far back as the official subreddit's origins over a decade ago, has always been explicitly about rationalizing abuse and manipulation of women, doesn't even pretend otherwise, and simply claims based on little to no research and mental gymnastics, that it's all a "necessary response" to women being subhuman, amoral, manipulators who will definitely (ALL of them) fuck you over, given the opportunity. And they supposedly can't even help it, because they literally…
/r/ExRedPill27/11/23 02:24 PM
13

I can’t believe people read that and think anything else they have to say is valuable. Some people say they only agree with “parts” of the red pill rhetoric. And actual red pillers literally became so fed up with dudes like that, and like OP, coming into their spaces to say... Okay but... not really all of this stuff, right? Like... my wife is awesome. She's not a subhuman who is too stupid to know when she's being magnetically torn away from me by a bigger Alpha. Like... c'mon. ... that they cr…
/r/ExRedPill27/11/23 09:40 AM
20

If you're not a misogynist, you are not "red-pilled." That's not my opinion. That's official TRP doctrine. As is "AWALT": All Women Are Like That. Let's start with official Red Pill material from the subreddit that is 10+ years old. Keep in mind, this is not this: I can say that a lot of redpill content has to be critically thought about, many posts come through the subreddit that are outright stupid and if you’re blindly consuming media, in any form, news, social media etc, you’ll wind up with …
/r/ExRedPill27/11/23 09:04 AM
13

Plus, generalizing about what feminists believe is about as worthwhile as generalizing about what Christians believe. Christians believe in the divinity of Christ and the resurrection. Feminists believe patriarchy is a net societal liability. That's about as specific as you can get in either case without adding something that will be a point of contention between factions. I think the red pill's real objection to feminism is that it positions women as activist participants in their vaunted "sexu…
/r/ExRedPill24/11/23 08:25 PM
12

This is gold and I love you, u/Difficult-Answer-246... if that even is your real name. Which I doubt. Nevertheless, your scholarship speaks for itself, and you've done us all a service with this. This material should be pinned or otherwise persistently surfaced somehow. This is lynchpin red pill debunking.
/r/ExRedPill23/11/23 10:44 PM
2

“I’m not red pill, but…” is the new “It’s not a pyramid scheme” was the old “It’s not a cult.”
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 11:12 PM
4

He isn't saying women will go gay. What he is saying is she will stop going out of her way for her man and acting feminine in a role if he is complacent or stops asking masculine. She will get resentful she has to take on that role basically I don't agree with everything he says but 90% of stuff for straight relationships he is spot on with men acting decisive and confident brings peace and femininity in return. He also advises gay and lesbian relationships to have a masculine and feminine roles…
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 10:24 PM
3

Alright, let’s take a gander at these wisdom nuggets, shall we? Women Are Driven By Their Emotions, Not Logic He doesn’t understand that women are like cats, and this is totally normal, and they’re driven by their emotions and not has nothing to do with logic and reason, which obviously is very confusing because most men tend to think that women think like we do, and vice versa. Great start. Let’s see what else he has to offer… How Do I Meet A High Value Woman Literally a 4,500 word, rambling sc…
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 08:19 PM
8

his views are more redpill then he realizes. No, he’s a full of shit, snake oil grifter, like every other “dating coach”. He knows exactly how red pilled he “isn’t”. He’s just capitalizing on a niche: Dudes who want someone to tell them “what’s wrong with my texting game,” and how they can “correctly” enter the right cheat codes to get women to do the stuff they want, but who find the idea of seeming like an angry, “red pilled alpha” who hates women just a little… “icky.”
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 06:33 PM
2

Spot-on. I suppose what they’re really trying to do (though I don’t think the rank-and-file realize this) is drive up women’s “commodity value” as de facto (i.e. compulsory) laborers, while driving down women’s agency as market participants. Meanwhile, that self-governing market participation (AKA feminism) is what they mean when they say “women are valued more than men” / “women are the gatekeepers of sex boohoo”. It’s not a complaint about value. It’s a complaint about rising, egalitarian mark…
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 12:08 PM
8

Sex selective abortion and female infanticide happened so much because girls were deemed less valuable. China has 30M more men than women, while some villages in India have 130 more men per 100 women. My own grandmother told me she wished I was a boy because I achieved things and would have carried the family name. You know, sex selective abortion adds a fascinating angle to the whole “sexual market value” thing I hadn’t even thought about until now. Pillers are always going on about how patriar…
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 07:17 AM
1

Only just saw this, and I just want to say I agree with you, and you're not the only person in this sub who thinks it's a bummer when people come in here just to make it a hostile environment for people, who by definition, are struggling with culty, problematic, toxic ideas, and considering alternatives. I understand the impulse to say "This is not a safe space for people like that" in almost any other context. But like... this is actually a pretty good place for people like that to feel welcome…
/r/ExRedPill17/11/23 07:29 AM
3

She speaks the truth, friend. Also I just wrote a long comment about this, with cited studies and everything. The way that you’re openly vulnerable, and the confidence with which you navigate your emotions makes a big difference. (Think taking the wheel of a ship in a storm, as opposed to hiding and riding it out. The storm is nothing to be shamed of. Not seeing it as an inevitable part of nature is the issue.) I expect this helps explain why people’s anecdotal experiences on this can seem to va…
/r/ExRedPill16/11/23 08:39 PM
1

I agree with your definition of SMV. At least insofar as it's possible to find any consensus. You accurately defined what it purports to be. Which I also described as a "vague, non-quantifiable, derivative variant of the already existing concept of sexual capital." We are both correct. Meanwhile, this... "Sexual Market Value" is feminism for angry men too stupid to notice they're making an anti-patriarchal point, not an "economic" one. ... is obviously not a "definition". It simply kicked off my…
/r/ExRedPill16/11/23 01:45 AM
1

¿Por qué no los dos?
/r/ExRedPill15/11/23 10:55 PM
1

Yes, I’m well aware of this vague, non-quantifiable, derivative variant of the already existing concept of sexual capital. Just because you throw around an acronym and list some traits people recognize as sociologically non-trivial, that doesn’t mean you’re contributing anything substantive to describe or predict human behavior. it’s the sum of his/her looks, status, social and dating skills, personal qualities, fitness indicators, and any external resources that he/she possess Okay. It’s a “sum…
/r/ExRedPill15/11/23 10:32 PM
2

It might not make a relationship happen, but I know if I was in that situation, I’d definitely want to be your friend. I don’t get why people find that so insulting. Shouldn’t we all want to be friends with someone who in theory we have things in common with, and who we can talk honestly to? Exactly. And actually that’s the tip of a whole other iceberg I’ve been meaning to write about. Quaility over quantity. Red pill’s all about “raising SMV” to ensnare maximum prospects like testosterone-soake…
/r/ExRedPill13/11/23 08:33 AM
1

Thank you very much. And yeah. I’d enjoy that date too. After the initial frustration, and reminding myself that you can’t control another person’s feelings, but your own can be surprisingly plastic, with some self-compassion. And actually, the more hardbitten red pillers know some of this stuff already. It’s in their rhetoric about “beta orbiters” etc, i.e. “Sure, bro. That’ll work, but now you’re her girlfriend, not the other way around.” But it’s the verb work that’s the problem. Shit like th…
/r/ExRedPill13/11/23 08:17 AM
3

People care because it's an arena for contesting who owns the value of women. Compare it to posting a picture of one's new car. Who's more likely to post a pic of their new car to Instagram: Men or women? Men are taught that a car factors more heavily into their value as a human. Women are taught their bodies are worth more. And since their bodies are a large part of what many men value in women, men assume when women post themselves on Instagram, it's for men's benefit. Corollary: When your gir…
/r/ExRedPill13/11/23 04:40 AM
7

And yeah I used to watch those,videos too and would torture myself with red/black pill content and subs like r/FemaleDatingStratgey I'd love to see some productive conversations between reformed, ex-FemaleDatingStrategy women and ex-Red Pill men. That's like the ultimate intersection of people purging toxic assumptions about inherently adversarial dating. I'm glad you're fighting to make progress the hard way, friend.
/r/ExRedPill13/11/23 04:22 AM
10

This question may be missing the forest for the trees. And if so what are potential signs one can give off that gives them a bad vibe even if I fake a smile, say hi, and be nice? You can find laundry lists of “non-verbal cues” people claim to recognize, and there’s truth to that. But if your plan is to “bury my fears, and watch the shape of my jawline extra carefully”… it ain’t gonna work, my friend. Partly because of something even red pillers have been saying all along: Women don't know what t…
/r/ExRedPill13/11/23 12:36 AM
9

As for the effeminate men, I've seen a lot of RP closet cases so I assume it's a lot of projection. What I’m particularly curious about are the “closet subs”. You never hear about this, or if it’s discussed anywhere, I don’t know where to look. But there have to be frustrated men who: Find the RP pitch and picture of the world, and women, appealing. Are fully hetero and fully want to be perceived as “alphas” who get the girls, and want a girlfriend/wife/“plate” who sees them that way 80% of the …
/r/ExRedPill12/11/23 07:09 AM
52

Women over 30 / obese women They want every single woman obsessed from childhood with making herself maximally attractive, based on their standards, maximally “pure”, based on their standards, and maximally submissive, so their fragile egos don’t get bruised, and so when they demand their domesticated bangmaid of choice does whatever they want sexually, she doesn’t have any basis for comparison that might result in her making him feel like he isn’t god’s gift to thrusting. To them, the greatest …
/r/ExRedPill11/11/23 10:27 PM
4

Maybe or maybe not. Definitely not. I wouldn't be surprised to see some signal-boosting / astroturfing efforts for all manner of "Manosphere" content, originating from both ultra-conservative Muslim- and Christian-associated interest groups. Not to mention secular Republican, Russian, and Chinese interests, all motivated to see increased destabilization and dysfunction within western democracies. But the idea of a secret, wholly "Islamic provenance" for Red Pill from day one is absurd. TRP is a …
/r/ExRedPill11/11/23 11:25 AM
15

No. Red Pill's origins go back over a decade, and has only more recently been "associated with Islam". In fact, the whole concept of "spinning plates" isn't even compatible with the tenets of religions that follow the God of Abraham in one way or another. Speaking of which, if TRP has to be associated primarily with any particular religion (which it isn't), it would almost certainly be Christianity. But only because it's historically been most appealing to western, conservative men who are highl…
/r/ExRedPill11/11/23 10:51 AM
13

Just to reinforce this: Have you ever noticed how women almost unilaterally do not want dick pics? Like almost never, even when they're really into you? The reason is obvious: They don't give a shit about dicks out of context. So she sure won't leave you for a bigger one. Most people are aware of the "shower vs. grower" phenomenon, which ought to matter a great deal if erect penis size and sexual performance are highly correlated, shouldn't it? Yet this never comes up in penis size fear-mongerin…
/r/ExRedPill11/11/23 09:41 AM
6

Are you able to take pleasure in anything besides sex? A lot of what you're saying here makes a certain amount of sense if one starts with the presumption that sex is the only thing worth pursuing in life, and everything else is a waste of time. I think if I felt that way, I would probably start to regard most social interaction that isn't meant to end in sex as stupid, and the people pretending otherwise as inane. You've mentioned depression quite a bit — which I'm personally very familiar with…
/r/ExRedPill04/11/23 11:27 AM
3

Alright, well listen. If the level of persistent hostility you're describing is a sincere, omnipresent thing, that's actually: Well above Reddit's pay grade. An urgent problem. And not just because of the potential risk to others. It sucks for you. That kind of anger is a ten thousand pound weight on your shoulders, that guarantees misery. You won't be able to get close to anyone, or have the patience necessary to appreciate all the things that take time to make sense about another person. I wou…
/r/ExRedPill02/11/23 12:00 PM
4

Alright, well as long as it's an equal opportunity mannequin genocidal impulse, and you aren't waking up in cold sweats, with racing thoughts of rending plastic flesh with your teeth, to the chorus of their silent, seasonally fashionable screams, I feel comfortable calling this an accidentally unearthed, non-relevant quirk.
/r/ExRedPill02/11/23 11:21 AM
2

It's certainly true the American justice system is chronically and dangerously biased against black men. I will concede that if you do end up in court... that's upping the risk. The odds are still vanishingly small of ending up there, though. And again: Even smaller still if it's a woman you know and get along with. They aren't fae creatures, beholden to arcane gods, and given to luring men to their doom in primeval forests. Hell, if you broach it correctly, most women worth being close to could…
/r/ExRedPill02/11/23 11:17 AM
5

Now I feel like you're putting me on. This comment's too funny to process with my Red Pill-debunking hat on, and I can't render an opinion over the sound of my satire alarm going off. This is either a profoundly anti-social and actually unhealthy compulsion, or just a mostly harmless whim you must have known was kinda hilarious, right?
/r/ExRedPill02/11/23 11:08 AM
19

I'm friends with many women, including most of my ex-girlfriends. The exes are particularly interesting, because it's not necessarily the ones I had the most intense, intimate connections with that end up being the best friendships. But intense feelings and attraction don't negate the chance of lasting friendship, either. If anything, I'd say it comes down to how much thoughtful effort we're willing to put into "converting" the relationship to a friendship, and normalizing a new suite of ways of…
/r/ExRedPill02/11/23 10:55 AM
9

Even when you actually are physically intimate with someone, the odds of being falsely accused of sexual assault are low. But you mean just... alone with them? Like in a conference room at work, or when it's just you and someone else left at a train station? That's reeeeeally remote, my friend. And if you're friends with her, that's even less likely because, well, she's your friend! I'm also afraid of being blackmailed or manipulated. I'm afraid of adopting effeminate habits... Not to presume, b…
/r/ExRedPill02/11/23 09:59 AM
2

Please don’t apologize for bringing actual academic credentials and sources here. This place is as much of an echo chamber as the average sub, and vey much needs them, given its intent.
/r/ExRedPill31/10/23 03:38 AM
3

Also, they’re perfectly willing to advocate boiling all kinds of oceans just to land a few unicorns who don’t mind being a side chick’s side chick and will sign an affidavit regarding “body count” and agree to background checks for feminist dealings, but when it comes to “evo psych” conclusions like “hypergamy” and “women loved it when you called yourself alpha in cave times, guys! Really!”, they’ll swear it’s hopeless “because science.”
/r/ExRedPill31/10/23 03:35 AM
-8

Edit. This one, really? It's funny; the stuff I expect will upset people ends up being the most upvoted. But saying “I bet they sometimes fail upwards, for a few reasons” is just too horrifying to suggest? I hope we're objecting to the raw speculation (fair enough), and not because we seriously think abusive liars aren’t having sex. Update: Best (only) critique? A transparently facile rhetorical. According to the least sexually successful men on Earth, you are exactly what women want. I'm not su…
/r/ExRedPill30/10/23 12:01 PM
3

I want to echo what u/Justwannaread3 said and congratulate you for keeping things in perspective, despite how hard it is, and despite some of the easy answers that are out there. The "sexual underclass" you describe is the sort of thing I imagined years ago, when I first heard of incels. People with a sort of "perfect storm" of factors stacked against them, resulting in a compounding sense of hopeless loneliness over time. I thought "Oh, of course that's a thing, and we should obviously have com…
/r/ExRedPill30/10/23 10:38 AM
7

So then the Autistic men find the Redpill, which is the only place where people bluntly tell it like it is. It says "You need to make money, improve your looks, and improve your confidence to attract a woman. Red pill doesn't "tell it like it is" at all. Red pill tells you: No one else will tell you this, but the hard truths about attracting women are the ones you've long been afraid are the case: Women want super masculine men who are rich, ripped, aggressive, and cocky. Show them your true fee…
/r/ExRedPill30/10/23 09:40 AM
5

This thread's kind of a dumpster fire. Yes, men "compete" for women, and "resources". But also the other way around. Women compete for men, and men also compete for the attention of other men, without any romantic or sexual intent at all. And for a better seat on the bus. However, evolution/"survival of the fittest" does not apply here, except loosely as a metaphor for the way winning a competition can indicate "fitness" for other, analogous activities. The people here saying "I never competed w…
/r/ExRedPill29/10/23 10:37 PM
3

More like: Many men are convinced that whatever they might actually want, if they don’t find a “submissive” partner, they aren’t real men. So they will make themselves and someone else miserable, trying to force a dynamic neither them believes in. The term “submissive” without context is borderline meaningless. At the very least, clarify whether you mean sexually, in terms of relationship roles, a “domain-based” model (she rules the house, he the material influx), or something else? How the fuck…
/r/ExRedPill28/10/23 11:01 PM
7

Aw, I like you too, Hag of the Garden. (Hope it's okay being so formal.)
/r/ExRedPill28/10/23 06:49 PM
1

Haha I’m glad you liked it because now it’s like twice as long with a director’s commentary. I sincerely hope it helps. Feel free to keep in touch. I want answers to this stuff that are replicable, so I’m all ears.
/r/ExRedPill28/10/23 06:39 PM
7

I'll do my best here, but disclaimer: I've only had success with people looking for answers / looking for a reason not to slide down the rabbit hole. I feel like someone who's already committed may have to go through a complete arc of "This isn't making me happier but that's gotta be me failing the pill, not the other way around, right?" several times, followed by some outlier exit trigger you can’t predict, but he just has to be ready to seize. Talking at him will not work. Remember the whole l…
/r/ExRedPill28/10/23 06:06 PM
3

I'm not trying to pick on you, but this is a sub specifically dedicated to diverting people away from, and discussing the fallacies and dangers, of red pill. I can agree with your basic assertions (and explicitly acknowledged that I did), and still have good reason to explain why your "truth," framed as it is, in fact works to red pill's benefit. Just look at it this way: Every single thing you said in your comment is something red pillers want people repeating, with the only "exception" being t…
/r/ExRedPill28/10/23 01:40 PM
9

Because we're dealing with propaganda, which is about curating information relative to truth, while lying as little as needed. The problem isn't just, as you've said, the notion that the two things are the same. It's also that they love all this talk of "personal preferences" because it serves their agenda. The "personal preference" argument making the rounds lately is the "motte" half of a red pill Motte-and-Bailey Fallacy, where the grifter shifts back and forth, defending the easy argument, w…
/r/ExRedPill28/10/23 09:01 AM
19

What is wrong is believing that someone's "value" is somehow tied to their age. You can have all the preferences that you want, nothing is off limits as long as it's legal: if your limit is somehow "not interested in people over 23" then no one can stop you. What's wrong is the real and widespread attempt to discuss this "preference" in terms of "market realities" based on "biological truths" which — oops — now it's not a preference at all. Unless you're so wrapped up in your own, personal unive…
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 09:54 PM
5

The "lock and key analogy" always makes me laugh, because the whole point of an analogy is supposed to be that it illustrates something you're trying to explain, by borrowing metaphorical relationships between otherwise unrelated things, and asking the listener to exercise poetic interpretation to infer your meaning, to enhance an already coherent articulation. But "lock and key analogy" users nearly always skip the explanation, and desperately hope you'll think Well, he must be onto something b…
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 09:04 PM
2

Gotcha. Yeah, that's what I meant by "neutral." You were just explaining what the terms are ostensibly meant to convey. I sympathize. I've actually had a lot of my own comments and posts mod-deleted here because I frequently characterize red pill views sarcastically or satirically and get flagged as pro red pill. There's something missing from the lives of the type of people that go looking for this stuff, and watching too much YouTube won't fill the hole, but it's easy to to watch '''self impro…
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 08:47 PM
47

"Sexual Market Value" is feminism for angry men too stupid to notice they're making an anti-patriarchal point, not an "economic" one. The logic is: Many men prefer younger women because they prize youth and fertility over maturity and intellectual peer-hood. This creates demand in the "sexual marketplace" for younger women, by older men, to a lesser extent than it does the opposite. Thus, from the point of view of anyone reducing people down to their "viability" as a heterosexual mate, women's "…
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 08:38 PM
9

Well said. Red pill is the angry, fragile dude equivalent of non-Hispanic people who go around screaming at you for saying "latina" instead of "latinx". It's about making "I am so deeply aggrieved" your whole personality, and wanting maximum recognition for the minimum amount of work you're willing to do to understand other people are just as complex and contradictory and individual as you are. As soon as you're asking "Does red pill work?" you're halfway indoctrinated. Does lying work? Does get…
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 08:19 PM
5

Red pill- someone who has had the realisation who is 'awake' to the facts that the rest of the world doesn't see how feminism is toxic and a lie and that men are getting majorly fucked over by everyone. Blue pill- someone who 'simps' over women, maybe its a guy who has feminist beliefs and gets walked over by women and all of society but he is not awake to this fact. I'm not sure if you meant these as neutral definitions as the coiners of the terms intended, or if it's your own view, but to clar…
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 08:00 PM
1

Hey man, thanks for all the encouragement! Reddit is definitely a place for me to challenge myself to respond to random writing prompts and try to make them count, exactly because I am focusing much more on writing these days, with some books in the planning and draft stages. Whenever I hear "Hey, you should know this really helped me" or "I'd totally watch this movie", it's fuel for my heart and pen. :)
/r/ExRedPill26/10/23 11:53 PM
1

I was confused why I got your reply to somebody else until I realized the reply includes a ping to my username :-) Haha you're a a go-to archetype for me now. Or maybe a Rosetta Stone. By the way, whether I’m “aromantic” is up in the air (since romance isn’t real anyway, lol) I mean... strictly speaking, if you're truly convinced romance isn't real, then the question isn't whether you're aromantic... it's whether everyone else is, too. :)
/r/ExRedPill26/10/23 11:48 PM
11

It's always good remember: All propagandists are liars, but not because they hate the truth. In fact, they love the truth, as often as they can get their hands on it. What makes them propagandists is their complete lack of loyalty to the truth. And that makes them extra dangerous, because every time they find even a glimmer of truth that's convenient, they'll use it like a star on the horizon to guide you as far in the wrong direction as they possibly can, until you realize: It wasn't even their…
/r/ExRedPill25/10/23 04:21 AM
2

I gotta say, a looot of what you're saying here reminds me uncannily of one of our regular, controversially mercurial contributors here: u/PutsWomenOnPedestal He also tends to express outright disbelief when people talk about sex and physical intimacy in terms of "worth the risks, obviously". It almost sounds like a conversation about food, between a robot* and a human stuck on a desert island: Human: "Oh man, I haven't eaten all day. I'm literally starving." Robot: "Listen, could you not with t…
/r/ExRedPill24/10/23 08:28 PM
6

Hey listen, friend. I just want to say it's great you're asking these questions, which can be hard and embarrassing to power through, whether pseudonymous or not, and rest assured: There are many, many lurkers here who are thinking "Oh damn, I'm glad he's asking the questions, because I want those answers and assurances, too." Also, while I'm always glad to see women weighing in here (especially when the topic is essentially "Hey ladies, could you please tell me, for real..."), I feel I should b…
/r/ExRedPill24/10/23 07:32 PM
6

This is an impressive example of not only not solving a problem no one said they have, but a cursory glance at OP's replies suggests he could help you with yours.
/r/ExRedPill24/10/23 06:12 PM
7

What do you base this claim on? RP guys “not seeming rapey”?
/r/ExRedPill24/10/23 04:38 AM
2

man who has slept with 45+ women nearly 50% of women can only orgasm from their own pleasure and not from the act of penetration. I mean… That’s kind of an odd way to phrase this. Somewhere in the course of all that banging, you learned you can touch the clitoris, right?
/r/ExRedPill24/10/23 04:27 AM
9

Funny enough, I just recently realized how important this distinction between “self-improvement” and “more desirable partner” is when discussing red pill, and I’m calling it the “Glass Cannon fallacy” of Red Pill: Red Pill positions “Alpha” to mean “a tough, unflappable stoic who gets what he wants just by breathing.” But reconsider that image — not as an anthropological caricature, but as an adversarial, strategic assumption about attraction, and suddenly there’s a much better metaphor to descr…
/r/ExRedPill23/10/23 10:50 PM
3

I think what can often be confusing is that communities — simply due to humans being humans — can spring up around anything. Even something toxic and pseudoscientific. This probably applies more to the earlier years of TRP (and its forerunners in the “pickup artist” era), but when you subtract the snake oil sellers and turn a blind to the — well… sexual violence and stuff — you find these recurring pockets of men actually supporting each other emotionally, and within it, a lot of dudes “playing …
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 10:56 AM
27

Promiscuous is someone who cheats, has multiple sexual partners at the one time and is generally considered “loose”. "Promiscuous" is when someone is less choosy than you want them to be. "Prudish" is when someone is choosier than you are. "Red pilled" is when no one is choosing you, so you want a cheat code that makes everyone believe "promiscuous" means choosing anyone except you.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 05:26 AM
2

L. Ron Hubbard clearly invented Dianetics/Scientology as a money-making grift. And yet, as the years went on, he also reportedly behaved like a haunted, paranoid, true believer, who was genuinely enraged and affronted by people who "betrayed" him, or questioned his integrity. He was a stunningly shameless bullshit artist. No question. But it was all so deeply personal to him, regardless. He wasn't laughing to himself like a cartoon villain. He was damning his own thetan to Xenu's fictional clutc…
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 03:15 AM
10

Really glad to hear you're navigating your way out, friend. I'm so often struck by how many posts here reference, directly or indirectly, a kind of compulsive/addictive quality to this content, and ideology. For many, it's clearly not just a question of what is true and/or what "works". It's all about filling a hole. (Gonna leave the accidental, tasteless pun as-is. I've already laughed, so I'd feel hypocritical deleting it.) I became stressed out at all the things I had to do. “Monk mode”, no f…
/r/ExRedPill22/10/23 02:57 AM
6

Hey, so I’m always glad for the feedback when someone says “Hey, this helped!” But this time, it was actually bothering me that my “simple” breakdown didn’t come out the way I wanted. And happily, your comment prompted me to go for Round 2 (which is more like Round 87 after months on here), and I’ve finally articulated a succinct (for me) breakdown of Red Pill’s core conceit, which causes so much trouble. I’m actually kinda hyped about this. Let’s call it the “Red Pill = Glass Cannon Fallacy” ex…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 08:18 PM
2

Love this. Also, look how easy this is: be wary of "just so" stories that start with an observation or idea about how the world is now and try to work backwards to an evolutionary a religious explanation for it, because you will be able to come up with something, and it will probably be unfalsifiable nonsense a remarkably convenient, divine endorsement for whomever is speaking, with all the scientific spiritual merit of a fairy tale Isn’t it amazing that if you went back in time 500 years to pre…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 07:17 PM
34

Edit: Actually, forget this reply. After months of bloviation and listening to/arguing with TRP recoveries/addicts, I’ve finally cracked it, and articulated the fundamental problem with Red Pill, as I see it. Seriously, I’m kinda hyped right now. The red pill conceit is actually stupidly simple when you ignore all the jargon and pseudoscience. It goes: On the one hand, you’re frustrated women aren’t falling over themselves to fuck you. And this feels unfair. On the other hand, it kinda makes sen…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 05:38 AM
3

I read an essay somewhere, years ago (I need to find that thing) written by a musician, who argued we learn musical performance completely the wrong way now. The modern process is: Choose (commit, really) to an instrument. Practice alone, or mostly alone, except for a recurring instructor. Repeat 1 and 2 for years. Maybe. Possibly. Someday. Perform with someone else or (gulp) on a stage. But only when you’re like… super good. Finally. The author’s position was this is exactly backwards, and you’…
/r/ExRedPill20/10/23 08:15 PM
31

And talk to couples! No reason to treat women and dating like a mystery box you have to open in the dark every time. Ask people how they met, how they spend their time together. Be surprised by who has which hobbies, who does which household chores, and just how much most random couples don’t fit into any simple stereotype. Bonus: Someone might just hook you up with a cute friend, when they know you’re looking, and trying to be a good partner to someone.
/r/ExRedPill20/10/23 10:38 AM
6

I hate this analogy because it always feels like something from a cheesy motivational speech, but it’s still the best I’ve got: It’s the difference between being the captain of a sailing ship who screams at everyone to get belowdecks every time there’s a storm (or absurdly plays the “faux stoic”, steering the ship one-handed and holding a conversation as the sails are clearly being ripped off by gale force winds)… versus the captain who acknowledges the weather and rain and the roiling sea, and …
/r/ExRedPill20/10/23 07:15 AM
2

Hey friend. Just based on a quick read of your recent comments, I already want to give you a hug and tell you “Don’t get jaded” because it sounds like you’ve got a lot of genuine love and empathy to give, and you aren’t really even ashamed of it. Just feeling burned a couple times and wanting certainty. First, I’m going to plagiarize myself a bit: It’s good to acknowledge confirmation bias. It’s a [mathematical reality] that in heterosexual dating, [even in] in a world without gender roles, life…
/r/ExRedPill20/10/23 06:39 AM
23

She may say that she thinks it is alright, maybe even attractive to show emotion but when it actually happens, she's turned off by it. Not to pick on you — in fact I’m glad men are trying to find ways to be openly emotional in relationships even when it feels risky — but I think this kind of statement and attitude is painfully typical of TRP thinking, and it’s very counterproductive. Specifically, it’s this idea that women are mysterious creatures whose nature befuddles even themselves. “What if…
/r/ExRedPill20/10/23 12:04 AM
3

I’ve never had an issue pulling guys for short or long term relationships. They just aren’t usually hideously insecure. Yeah, maybe confirmation bias again, or that combined with the astroturfing. As loathe as I am to just shoot down people’s claims about their personal experiences that affect them, I really wonder sometimes, “Where the hell are you finding these people?” when I hear “Oh, I showed some emotion and she dumped me because she found it unmanly” or “Men are super obsessed with body c…
/r/ExRedPill09/10/23 04:12 PM
4

If you go through that whole list and consider it from the POV of mainstream, patriarchal religious dogma of the not-too-distant past, it’s pretty easy to match it up point for point, with only a few tweaks. And the “tweaks” aren’t to fix direct contradictions, but rather to restore God and spiritual piety as the source of truth, instead of “social marketplaces” and “evolutionary psychology”. (Things that are real, but which don’t even come close to validating red pill or patriarchal superiority…
/r/ExRedPill09/10/23 06:51 AM
6

You would be shocked at how much content is on Instagram, created by women, pushing "masculine-feminine polarity" and other concepts like how men need to be the sole earner, need to lead the woman and make decisions... every bit of that content I've seen was created by women. I don't quite understand what's happening but it's scary. I think it’s important people begin to understand that the old notion of the internet “democratizing information” is dying or dead, and that’s especially true on soc…
/r/ExRedPill09/10/23 06:01 AM
9

Guy seems like a gross-ass, snake-oil slinging douche just trying to present himself as "Red Pill Lite" to sell books, to me. She’s looking for validation and getting her insides rearranged, having random dudes beat up her pelvis, hoping she’ll feel something. Maybe her boyfriend screwed her over and she feels like she’s getting back at him. Another reason why oftentimes if when you break up with your girlfriend, she’ll go and sleep with two of your friends or two or three dudes that you know.” …
/r/ExRedPill08/10/23 07:08 AM
4

Just amazing. What is it with these guys lately who are just not even really trying to run any sort of program, but just basically forwarding some videos or parroting talking points to women, like "I need you to just like, pretend I did what these guys are saying and I'm good at it and it works, okay?" I mean, the only parts of TRP that aren't pseudoscience / actually "work" are the obvious things, like "Be more attractive/successful and lie". So it's not like they're missing out on much doing i…
/r/ExRedPill07/10/23 09:59 PM
3

Profit doesn't necessarily mean money. It can mean they get whatever they want out of you. I know a guy who is far too sedentary and non-confrontational to ever commit to a serious grift, or risk major consequences, but he is absolutely desperate to be seen as a spiritually advanced "guru", and when he's drunk, he screams and cries at his wife, and complains about how "No one listens to me." So what does he do? He puts jewelry on you. Beads, a necklace, a bracelet. Whatever you'll agree to, real…
/r/ExRedPill07/10/23 03:12 PM
2

Thank you for this feedback! OP said something similar, and this… Try to spread this around as much as you can. I think this could legitimately get someone out of the red pill or at least get them on track … is extra helpful because I post a lot of different kinds of attempts to do this, without knowing necessarily what helps and what doesn’t. But I am starting to get the sense that “facts” and “counter-propaganda” and “I don’t feel the way you do so you shouldn’t have to either” are mostly unhe…
/r/ExRedPill06/10/23 05:15 AM
2

Oh that's so great! Thank you for telling me. Pretty much the best thing I could hope, and I'm glad it was useful. No one can guarantee protection against heartbreak, especially if someone just decides "I care more about my petty thing than about you." They'll always care more about being a parasite than you could/should ever want to care about being parasite-proof. But you can be an "emotional leader," who sets the standard for normalizing having a natural vocabulary to convert feelings into co…
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 07:51 PM
2

Yeah no worries. Kinda just thinking out loud and working through some of this where it comes up. Had several discussions recently that made me re-think and question how often the messaging probably just amounts to people saying “I too will now suggest you: A) feel hopelessly terrible forever, or B) do the stuff that makes you feel reluctantly like an asshole with a plan. Choose carefully, because for some reason, I am acting like this choice is easy, obvious, and not B.”
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 05:33 PM
2

Just to clarify, the reason I find the “aromantic” label is that romance is not a clearly defined concept the way sexuality is. When someone is asexual or LGBT there is no ambiguity what that means. Well no one can label you. The labels are just things people self-assign, sometimes experimentally, because the label seems to do a better job orienting them compared to others, and when trying to efficiently contextualize when it’s hard to find common ground. It isn’t strictly necessary for a useful…
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 05:21 PM
1

Cheers, man. And yeah, like I said, I know you’re bulletproof. But sometimes the real snowflakes are the ones who expect gratitude and deference just for deigning to snidely explain how “if you’d just Google ‘hating women isn’t a good look’, you’d get your head out of your ass no problem.”
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 04:54 PM
3

Cheers! Yes, there’s a lot of shame for sure, and catching it early probably would help a great deal. (I have to say it shocked me to learn how young — 13-14 — many boys are falling into this stuff. I never would have guessed, as I always assumed you’d need several years of teenage sexual frustration and unchecked bitterness.) I don’t think most people want to have hatred and bitterness toward the other gender, it’s something most fall into because of experiences and emotions overriding logic. Y…
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 04:41 PM
13

I just wrote a long comment about this, but this sub actually struggles with the idea that men looking for help here are, by definition: Struggling to stay “neutral” and separate propaganda from facts, rather than drink the Pill Kool-aid. Hoping maybe someone can press their thumb down on the other side of the pro/con scale somehow, so it doesn’t feel like a choice between “alone and ignored” or “validated by the bad guys”. In fact, it wasn’t until I spent a while here that I began to appreciate…
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 08:42 AM
1

It's odd that someone who feels this way would decide to get married - he sounds really conflicted One of the higher voted thread answers blames his being (purportedly) an Indian in an arranged marriage for “the way he his”. Which is absurd and lazy thinking. But it’s not necessarily completely unrelated to why one might feel uniquely self-conscious about not wanting to exploit one’s spouse. (I’m kinda dying to hear her take.)
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 07:04 AM
2

No need to feel bad. I like trying to figure out how everyone triages their sapient experience against the backdrop of everyone else’s. I think we’re all space aliens/neurodivergents to one degree or another. And sometimes we clash mightily when the “translation matrix” we’ve developed to survive the social landscape simply can’t provide much useful information, because the external behaviors of others don’t map onto anything internally equivalent, motivating our own. I think you describe me fai…
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 05:32 AM
3

I think you left out aroace spectrum women here, and that’s right where he falls, too: Every single woman I know who isn't turned on by men is either a lesbian or has been raped/sexually assaulted/molested. I'm certain there are exceptions out there, but they are a minority. Not to put words in his mouth, but I think that’s what has thrown off almost everyone in this thread. He’s not objectifying real women out of entitlement or hate. He’s objectifying imaginary women to spare his wife from what…
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 04:38 AM
1

TL;DR: I’m betting there’s a shitload of men who really need help with toxic, self-destructive attitudes, who come here thinking “Ex Red Pill! Finally. A place where someone understands how I feel, who isn’t Andrew T—Nope. I’m wrong. Only he gets me. This is just a bunch of misandrists and feminazis, and advice to go fuck myself. Why am I surprised?” Is he right? Better question: Does it matter? If critiques of the words “misandrists” and “feminazis” are the only thing he’s going to hear, instea…
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 01:13 AM
4

I've got it, man. This has to be it. You and I have had several good conversations on here, and so I knew you were operating with some different givens, but it finally clicked in this thread. Actually, in hindsight, I'm kind of amazed at the patience you've shown with me previously. So much of what I said must have sounded like bullshit. Please ignore the people being hostile or blaming your cultural background. I do think you're steamrolling people and quick to assume cluelessness, but that act…
/r/ExRedPill03/10/23 06:22 AM
1

Didn't you just post this like a week ago, and now it's deleted? Also here. Also unless I'm crazy, even a week ago I had the uncanny sense I'd seen the "I embarrassed him on his birthday anecdote" even before that, and blamed deja vu. (This time I knew it was coming.) Also here, which isn't even Reddit. I mean, if you're just one person re-posting because you really need more feedback on this emotional topic, I suppose that's fine. I can't get too riled over someone just trying to get answers in…
/r/ExRedPill03/10/23 12:31 AM
17

I think parasocial relationships, and what can sometimes become a predatory dynamic that knowingly takes advantage of lonely “whales”, are a growing problem that transcends mere online sex work, and extends to people who believe they are in an intimate, personal relationship/friendship with everyone from Twitch celebs to Taylor Swift to, yes, cam girls/boys. That’s worth discussing for sure. But we’ve all got far more important things to worry about than whether some dude would rather pay a girl…
/r/ExRedPill02/10/23 07:10 PM
1

I did say they claim the intrinsic value because that's something they repeat a lot "high value men, higher value partner, high value woman". Oh I’m sure you’re right about that. I mean a lot of TRP adherents don’t even really understand their own dogma, and need occasional reorientation from a talking head. Similar to the old conservative talk radio model. Besides, much of TRP schtick and manosphere astroturfing revolves around making “instrinsic” value and “market value” feel synonymous, witho…
/r/ExRedPill29/09/23 08:25 AM
1

That's exactly the crack in the surface where the propaganda gets its foothold, and how TRP sustains its circular arguments. Markets exist because of people assigning subjective values to things, and behaving accordingly. TRP doesn't quite try to put anything under "intrinsic value". Unless you count their claims that women are fundamentally hardwired to be disloyal, manipulative, childish, and cruel as "devaluing women". In which case: Fair. But when they talk about "Sexual Market Value", they …
/r/ExRedPill29/09/23 01:57 AM
1

Interesting, I've been meaning to get Mad Men on the list of things to watch... I'll need to give it a look through. Easily one of the best shows out there, in my opinion. And Draper is one of the all-time great TV characters. Every bit as well-rendered as a character in a great novel. You still cheer for him, despite everything, because you see him doing his best to almost but not quite get a grip on what the problem is, but he just catches air every time, and punishes everyone around him out o…
/r/ExRedPill29/09/23 01:23 AM
1

A lot of the red pill alpha dudebros are upfront about the "One sided open relationship" when dating girls in the first place. The despicable part of cheating is the lying/deception behind it because that is betraying the trust of your partner. Sure, in the abstract. But when your motive for proposing such a thing is rooted in insecurity and the belief that women are biologically hard wired to be manipulative, childish, emotional terrorists and that you should work every angle you can to keep th…
/r/ExRedPill28/09/23 10:20 PM
1

You’ve probably got a more useful definition of patriarchy queued up now than most of the people who already agreed with it.
/r/ExRedPill26/09/23 04:34 AM
2

Many men feel offended when being told about toxic masculinity, but I understand what is meant by it and can agree on some points as you described, however I think there is also a positive masculinity That is exactly the intent of the adjective "toxic" — to bifurcate masculinity into toxic, and non-toxic. But don't you think even if there is what you describe in MRA it is not the whole movement but a part of it. Taking away the whole MRA is wrong because then it prevent men from having a movemen…
/r/ExRedPill26/09/23 12:58 AM
1

Not everyone here takes a totally hard line stance against the entire concept of "The sexual marketplace". I would say it's such a vague and easily referenced metaphor, that it not only "exists", it's a perfect, real life vehicle for propaganda. Because it has just enough "reality" baked into it, you can assert all kinds of credible-seeming things under its auspices. Obviously, yes: There are market forces in play anytime you have a bunch of people looking to selectively exchange anything, from …
/r/ExRedPill26/09/23 12:50 AM
2

I know it’s painful, but you’re actually lucky he’s pulling away and not pursuing you. That toxic “addictive” dynamic is gold to red pill types, who advocate what they call “dread game” (code for calculated, emotional manipulation and withholding of intimacy) specifically to exploit that. It’s mostly based on bullshit and is far more likely to destroy a relationship, but for you, it might be more complicated. On a second note, I’ve personally dated two people with BPD, and very much loved one of…
/r/ExRedPill25/09/23 02:44 AM
10

Breakups are just normal parts of life. Yup, exactly. "It's just your turn" has the same, "Schroedinger" quality as "females". It's not the phrase itself that's a problem. It's the bile dripping from their mouth when they say it and think it. Also worth remembering there's a flipside to the phrase: Just because others have had "turns" before you, that doesn't mean your turn can't be the last.
/r/ExRedPill22/09/23 01:48 AM
1

I think some of this is a little toxic, honestly. Understand that is an arbitrary value system that's telling you to feel bad paying a professional. It's an arbitrary value system that says construction workers selling their bodies are noble professionals, but sex workers selling their bodies are "degenerates" and "morally corrupt". But many, many people (regardless of gender) need and/or want a baseline closeness and intimacy before they can have any interest in sex with someone. And unfortunat…
/r/ExRedPill22/09/23 01:22 AM
19

Honestly/amusingly, “She’s not yours, it’s just your turn...” is probably one of the few concepts both TRP and feminism can basically agree on. That is, in fact, how relationships work. What makes it amusing (and where TRP and feminism part ways again) is that red pillers hypocritically regard this as some horrible, "uncomfortable truth" and, naturally, don't even bother to ask themselves whether it should go both ways, i.e. women can't own men, either. But of course, that's different. Because b…
/r/ExRedPill22/09/23 12:57 AM
1

Yes, but "technically correct" is the place where propaganda disguised as centrism thrives. Propagandists love it when they can bait you into denying a "technically correct" point. Take, for example, the recent right wing talking point about Africans selling other Africans to the slavers bound for North America during the Atlantic slave trade era. While it's certainly something that bears scrutiny — particularly regarding national historical accountability in Africa — racist propagandists don't …
/r/ExRedPill22/09/23 12:44 AM
25

It’s manufactured “natural truth”. In the past it was accomplished more easily with religious dogma and more socially accepted norms around women as property and the “keepers of virtue”. But as people become more and more aware of how silly that is — but with the internet exploding at the same time — the energy has shifted to pushing the ideas that: Even if women have a “right” to seek out sex as much as men, and a “right” to wield the commodity value of their bodies and sexuality without male o…
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 04:15 AM
6

So what is the solution? 1: Stop generalizating. Yes, women can be bad sometimes, but they are always like that? All women are bad people?. Also, never forget the inherent confirmation bias of hetero dating: Members of the opposite sex will almost invariably be the source of your life's greatest heartbreaks and betrayals. Not because they're "evil", but because you risk the most with them, whereas you generally won't be asking your bros to have kids, cohabit, assure you you're a beautiful and un…
/r/ExRedPill06/09/23 09:04 AM
5

The red pill is really effective at making you more attractive as a man Assuming by "more attractive" you mean: Encouraging you to stop putting women on a pedestal, exercise, groom yourself, know what you want, and stop taking it personally when someone shoots you down. All of which is good, and was always good — long before TRP — and has absolutely nothing to do with red pill "theory." Encouraging you to lie, manipulate, build a wall between yourself and your partner(s), and always be on the pr…
/r/ExRedPill06/09/23 06:39 AM
2

Like... if i had a daughter... is she evil? what do i tell her? If you have a son/brother, is he evil? will you hate him? will you tell him to just suck-it-up? what if youre just completely ignoring his pain? what if im just completely ignoring my daughter's pain? it's tough. "Hello Son and Daughter. So listen. I want you both to have as much awesome sex (not with each other — ignore Pornhub) as you want in life, when you're ready to have sex, with people who respect you and your boundaries. I c…
/r/ExRedPill05/09/23 11:07 PM
1

Listen, I think the self-reflection and candor in this comment is admirable. And I agree many men are harboring these hypocrisies, and that drives much of the "demand" for women to just magically be the unicorns we want — essentially nerfing their sex drives and ramping up their patience and saint-like capacity to "see our value" preternaturally, even when we have trouble seeing it ourselves. But. i think it's tied to the purity thing. and like... ive only ever not felt that towards girls i didn…
/r/ExRedPill05/09/23 10:25 PM
3

Imagine bringing your Toyota Corolla (an average, practical car for transporting 4-5 people reliably) into an auto mechanic, and demanding they transform it into a super sexy sports car that burns fuel like a motherfucker, but it turns heads and it's fun as hell to drive. So they do. But now you're frustrated with this car because it's only got two seats, it burns fuel like a motherfucker, it can't safely transport your kids or do grocery runs efficiently, and it's also a head-turner. Which make…
/r/ExRedPill05/09/23 09:38 PM
11

Also, for anyone who stumbles on this thread, OP or otherwise, I think it's crucial to keep in mind that the "grooming" question is functionally a red herring, and this behavior is a huge problem regardless of any ulterior motive: We get into disagreements when he sends this because I find it overly negative and misogynist and he says that he’s not attacking me, he’s just trying to teach me what men feel like deep down and he’s trying to enlighten me. In person he’s sweet and loving but on insta…
/r/ExRedPill05/09/23 09:09 PM
1

Thanks so much for this comment. My main reason for using Reddit has always been the arbitrary writing prompts — chances to write from the heart and/or satirically without premeditation. It means a lot when someone comments directly on how the writing made them feel, especially if it influences how they actually go about their life after. I’ve been going back and fourth about wether or not I need to go to therapy Having been to many therapists over the years: I suggest thinking less in terms of …
/r/ExRedPill04/09/23 08:40 AM
5

There’s a lot of misinformation happening in this thread. Tate probably could have been “King Red Pill” if he’d played nicer with TRP old guard, and raised all the other loudly insecure alpha cock worshippers along with himself. And he is not “more extreme” than TRP. Just more overt. TRP plays word games like “sexual strategy is amoral” to obscure the fact that it’s absolutely compatible with Tate’s shit. Red pill is is a list of pseudoscientific beliefs, confirmation biases, and extremely hard …
/r/ExRedPill29/08/23 06:46 PM
1

That's Hinduism, yes? I think Zen Buddhism deals with donduality, too. I was raised Christian, and used to have a connection with the God of Abraham. (I never really got Jesus; I just thought God seemed awesome and important... until he wasn't.) I sometimes wonder if my interest in some of the more speculative aspects of neural implant technology and augmented intelligence are just a way of finding my way back to a "stitched-together universe" in a way that feels ontologically earned. Always lov…
/r/ExRedPill28/08/23 06:55 AM
4

Disclaimer: Incoming, half-baked armchair sociology. The redpill/blackpill represent a mass mental health crisis and conflict between the old demands and new expectations of what it mens to be a man. Do you know any numbers, i.e. any research regarding how much of regional population considers themselves "-pilled" or is aware of such a thing? Not that I doubt the meteoric rise to visibility of Tate et al or the anecdotes from teachers about 13-14 year old boys eating this shit up before they've …
/r/ExRedPill27/08/23 09:45 PM
9

This is one of the most incisive, apt, and empathetically framed replies I’ve seen in this sub. Frequently the responses here are “correct”, but in a way that’s almost gaslighty, like “Duh obviously be normal like me instead of a dysfunctional asshole. Have a good day!” Please post here more often.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/23 05:54 PM
9

This “validation split” should be a whole pinned concept, honestly.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/23 05:53 PM
1

"NoFap" is pseudoscience, just like the whole "Beta"/"Alpha" thing: A 2020 study found that while NoFap claimed to be science-based, the more that NoFap followers believed that they should abstain from masturbation, the more they also reported "lower trust in science". Social psychologists Taylor and Jackson, who analyzed the content of NoFap forums, concluded in their study that some NoFap participants not only rejected pornography, but also radical feminist critiques of pornography. They also …
/r/ExRedPill26/08/23 12:51 AM
6

Women can never do right in the eyes of these lunatics. They'll judge us no matter what we do. It’s the whole “Women are the gatekeepers of sex” thing they’re so obsessed with. In their minds, since women can “acquire sex” more easily on average than men, that should justify women consciously having less sex, on purpose, with fewer partners — like a golf game handicap, or (funny enough) fighting an opponent in a heavier weight class — to make it “fair”. Basically, they want sexual socialism/welf…
/r/ExRedPill26/08/23 12:19 AM
8

Yeah, the “But muh employees..” plea only holds water if you’ve been duping them as much as the public, and they at least believed they worked for a (credibly) admirable organization. Not owning the business you work for doesn’t mean you aren’t complicit in — and rewarded by — what it sells.
/r/ExRedPill24/08/23 10:57 PM
37

Men who don’t bring anything to the table except belief that doing a good impression of a Tough Stoic makes you attractive shocked and betrayed when women who agree with that are turned off when it falters, only to go to work one day to feel shocked and betrayed when their whole business model of doing an impression of a Tough Stoic for people they think are losers gets rug-pulled for being toxic.
/r/ExRedPill24/08/23 10:08 PM
2

Thanks for writing such a detailed response and for quoting studies. I appreciate the time and effort you took. I don’t disagree with anything you wrote. Cheers, friend. My pleasure. I think this stuff is fascinating and important. If most men are offered the choice between a monogamous relationship with openness and intimacy vs. being a “Chad” capable of seducing many women, what choice do you think they would make? I find it hard to believe most men wouldn’t choose the latter. It’s not just RP…
/r/ExRedPill24/08/23 12:49 AM
8

The monstrous-feminine in the incel imagination: investigating the representation of women as “femoids” on /r/Braincels Words such as “degenerate,” “vile,” and “disgusting” are repeatedly used to describe women on /r/Braincels, intended to arouse visceral feelings of revulsion and effectively constructing a debased monstrous-feminine in the incel imagination. A comment claiming that “voids” are “[f]ucking empty worthless garbage subman [sic] sociopath low-IQ subhumans” exemplifies the subreddit’…
/r/ExRedPill24/08/23 12:24 AM
5

This is right on the money, but I would add that many incels also have a kind of dysmorphia about themselves and their own prospects, in addition to having warped values about women. Many incels could, in fact, date "Stacy", but it's easier for them write off her disinterest (or ability to even have normal human "interest" like a man does, depending how far gone an incel we're talking about) as being non-negotiable and non-correctable due to the cards he's been dealt, rather than face the overwh…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/23 11:58 PM
1

There is no cohesive definition of "radical left". (Unless you mean "ultra-left," which is typically Marxist, i.e. a subset of leftism.) The closest you can probably come is to defining it succinctly would be maybe maximal support of individual access to opportunity, and — usually — anti-authoritarianism. The problem with defining it is that "right" thinking is generally characterized by various models of centralized control, and accedence to "natural hierarchy" and acknowledgement of a "just wo…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/23 11:29 PM
14

Books about women's sexuality, written for women feeling sexually dissatisfied, are products created for a demographic that a publisher assumes will buy it. Their status as best sellers makes them neither largely right nor wrong, nor "representative" of what women believe. Only what is marketable. women are perfectly capable of loving a guy deeply without ever being aroused by him where as they may get aroused by a dude who they don't feel comfortable around (for many reasons).You may disagree b…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/23 09:29 PM
3

Try experimenting with "powerful vulnerability". I was a withdrawn and socially anxious kid who couldn't even look people in the eyes when speaking with them. Now I can stand in front of a hostile audience of 500 people who refuse to laugh at my jokes (even when they're objectively hilarious) and tell them why they'll benefit from an alternative perspective, and leave feeling like I added to the world by changing a handful of minds, instead of feeling diminished by the complete absence of immedi…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/23 07:58 PM
2

I believe the vast majority of people do indeed want to be loved for who they are. And it’s counter-intuitive, but research shows that happiness and self-worth are more easily accessed by making others feel good, rather than oneself: Americans are guaranteed the right to ‘pursue happiness’ for themselves. But might they be better off if they pursued happiness for others? In five studies, we compared the two strategies, showing that, ironically, the second pursuit brings more personal happiness t…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/23 07:07 PM
6

I don’t think it’s a feminine trait to want to be loved and valued. It’s just the way normal people interact. Absolutely. And I would say men who are attracted to TRP are particularly feeling the need to be "cherished". Although, let's just call it what it is: A longing to feel unconditionally loved. Which is something so many of us (men especially) don't even know how to ask for, and so we end up looking for it in ways that resemble squeezing blood from a stone. For example: Trying to get laid …
/r/ExRedPill23/08/23 04:07 AM
2

No consensus on her, at least based on a quick search. A few comments calling her an "attention whore" (shocking), and others saying she isn't saying anything original. But nothing like the overwhelming 90% rejection of Tate. Presumably there are a lot of angry, insecure dudes finding their way to TRP through Tate, via halo effect (e.g. algorithmic surfacing), and because in the past, Tate was liked by TRP talking heads, especially as a guest for YouTube channel discussions, etc. And they (right…
/r/ExRedPill21/08/23 02:26 PM
2

Amusingly, TRP community mostly loathes Tate, because he's a cheaply transparent grifter who snubbed TRP, and makes them all look bad by being so blatantly corrupt. Tate threads are actually banned from the sub, and almost every commentary on him is basically "Please don't listen to this idiot, kiddies. He just wants your money and doesn't give a shit about you." Even they know. It's like watching tapeworms in the lower intestine getting mad at the tapeworms in the upper intestine for being para…
/r/ExRedPill21/08/23 02:07 PM
2

I mean... it's yours. Is this like a Bible thing, where directly quoting scripture isn't fair, because it only counts when the believers are quoting the parts they like, "in context"? What part of this isn't Red Pill?
/r/ExRedPill21/08/23 01:47 AM
2

Well, Esther Vilar has some interesting things to say in her book about men, and how easily manipulated they are: WHAT IS LOVE? Man has been manipulated by woman to the point where he cannot live without her and therefore will do anything she asks of him. He fights for his life and calls it love. There are even men who will threaten their idolized female with suicide unless she accepts him.[..] To a woman love means power, to a man enslavement. [..] When a woman marries, she gives up her career …
/r/ExRedPill21/08/23 12:34 AM
8

How about anyone that supports basic, official TRP ideology that says half the human population is fundamentally wired to be without empathy, dangerous, and to pose, by far, the biggest threat to the happiness and wellbeing of the other half. Leaving it solely up to women to break the cycle of enslavement.
/r/ExRedPill20/08/23 10:48 PM
6

Including the whole comment in case he rage-deletes: It's clear from the comments who's crying lol Enjoy your fantasy of having hot chicks while i reject plenty of them Pretty sure first feminists wouldn't even agree with today feminism and all these high body count used bitches who are the reason for existence of betas like u There you go, folks. It’s that easy. Set the same trap and they’ll walk right into it every time. Red pill is based on male insecurity, and obsession with the acquisition …
/r/ExRedPill20/08/23 07:37 PM
6

Oh, you’re a fun one. Red pill clearly sending its best and brightest to the front lines. Do I start with the borderline illiteracy or is that being cruel? “Based on username” is how you might have distinguished between me and the 17-year-old. Which you are apparently still confused about. As for the “beta feminist” bit, I guess we could get into a dick-measuring contest over who’s had more sex with more attractive women — bonus points for each one that wasn’t, y’know, crying. But assuming it’s …
/r/ExRedPill20/08/23 06:50 PM
5

They’re more correct than incorrect, though. Certainly there is credible research showing biological differences between men’s and women’s brains. Including some old chestnuts like being “more rational” or “more emotional”: Despite the weak evidence for gender differences in care and justice orientations, Greene’s (2007) dual-process model offers a novel perspective on gender differences in moral psychology on the basis of fundamental differences in nonmoral information processing. Although ther…
/r/ExRedPill20/08/23 06:20 PM
9

You’re literally a confused older man though. Right now. I’m not the kid. I’m just pointing out he’s already wiser than you at 17. A good way to tell is from the usernames, FYI.
/r/ExRedPill20/08/23 05:39 PM
14

Or… you know. The other way around, maybe? Someone much older might ask themselves why a 17-year-old figured it out sooner than a lot of angry, confused adult men.
/r/ExRedPill20/08/23 05:09 PM
3

Some are very good at what they do. F&F and others, probably not, but some absolutely are dripping in sexy. This I know from experience. My RP guys never started like shit heads. I don't think this is getting talked about enough, probably because of general reluctance to give TRP any credit or encourage bitter men from thinking "red pill works". Ironically, this probably comes in part from a fear that TRP contains some "forbidden knowledge", like black magic. This is not only stupidly incorrect …
/r/ExRedPill17/08/23 12:42 PM
3

I have no quibble with any of that. The point I (and u/Sweet-Euphoria-42 as well, I believe) am making is simply that there's no need to add a victim-blaming aspect to any of this. Just because someone successfully lies to your face in an effort to manipulate you into staying with them — especially if it's someone you used to be able to trust, who has recently "gone red pill" — that doesn't mean you yourself are a broken, weak person. That's what I meant by this: It's not like you have to be som…
/r/ExRedPill16/08/23 08:09 PM
3

Agreed! That’s exactly what I was trying say. (Perhaps poorly.) I found the statement “RP only attract broken women because the RP itself is broken.” overly harsh and reductive.
/r/ExRedPill16/08/23 04:29 PM
13

The fact that you managed to get it through the red pill shows you how powerful it is You sure about your logic there? I went from sexually frustrated in my late teens and early twenties to being able to hook up quite reliably, without being tall or rich or "alpha". I'm a total "Blue Pill Beta Soy Carrot" or whatever they call us these days. My closest friends are mostly women. And I know I'm not doing "accidental red pill" because I've read a whole fuckton of RP content to criticize and make fu…
/r/ExRedPill15/08/23 10:43 PM
4

RP only attract broken women because the RP itself is broken. I feel like this sentiment gets tossed around a lot as a way of "invalidating" red pillers — a little like shaming homophobes by calling them gay. But I'm not sure it's actually true, or helpful to anyone. Confirmation bias almost certainly plays a role here. Every time a woman encounters an "obvious" RP dude, running "dread" and treating her like an accessory to his "natural dominance", that makes it seem like RP is easy to spot. But…
/r/ExRedPill15/08/23 10:24 PM
2

I find it very difficult to accept that any of TRP stuff is just hyperbolic for effect. I mean, just look at the sub threads tagged "rant". Also, good luck finding comments from TRP adherents along the lines of "Dude, you took that seriously? It's an exaggeration!"
/r/ExRedPill15/08/23 07:27 PM
8

I just had a long debate with a red piller about this. Everything that was hateful and ugly about it, he called "extreme" and "meant to get men's attention", but not to be taken seriously. Everything factually, demonstrably wrong about RP source materials was "irrelevant, because RP is just an informal theory." Everything that made him feel good and manly and smart, that was "supported by hundreds of scientific studies", and simply ignored by mainstream people because of "the taboo". It's full-o…
/r/ExRedPill15/08/23 05:24 PM
2

the elites want us all fighting amongst ourselves. As long as men are blaming women for everything they don’t have they will never actually turn there attention too the actual system doing us all harm. I don't really see any blame for misogyny being transferred to "elites" here. OP seems to be saying "Regular dudes should cut it out with the misogyny and focus on oppression that transcends gendered bullshit." Seems like a good idea to me.
/r/ExRedPill15/08/23 03:59 PM
2

It's a truly incredible document. In some places, it's so straight up hilarious, I start to think it's brilliant satire: It is ironic that men consider ordinary prostitutes so very contemptible - they are among the few women who frankly admit that they make money by renting out a specific orifice of their bodies. The female callings of prostitute, actress, model, singer, or dancer are not practised by men. But whereas actresses, singers, dancers, and models work with safety nets (safety nets bei…
/r/ExRedPill15/08/23 12:42 PM
3

They’re just talking about cognitive biases. In this case, conclusions drawn from fallaciously assuming that if an event precedes an event, it caused it, and the tendency people have to observe someone else’s behavior and assume it defines who they are, whereas we always give ourselves the benefit of context.
/r/ExRedPill14/08/23 03:44 AM
4

Just to clarify: It is probably more true than untrue to say “Red pillers hate women.” But red pill thinking involves a lot of mental gymnastics and denial. At a surface level, most red pillers would disagree with the statement “I hate women” or “You should never show kindness or respect to women.” TRP doctrine is more like: “Show respect and kindness to women who earn it, by respecting you first as a man. Remember, every female is a slave to her nature. She can’t help but be drawn sexually to t…
/r/ExRedPill13/08/23 03:10 PM
2

You're making this very easy for yourself by reducing people down to cartoon caricatures of real human beings. Everyone is vulnerable. Hell, the whole reason red pillers are red pillers is because they're vulnerable: Vulnerable to propaganda about how getting your heart broken by someone you trusted just makes you a "beta male", and vulnerable to absurd ideas like "women are incapable of resisting the allure of a strong male, so your best bets are 'dread game' and keeping women at arm's length".…
/r/ExRedPill13/08/23 01:59 PM
7

What in the world makes you assume a person who’s been abused is “weak”? This implies an abusive, manipulative person is “stronger” than anyone they deceive or hurt. The opposite is true. It takes strength to trust, and be willing to get hurt in the name of building something intimate and mutually beneficial with someone else. Red pill doesn’t teach “strength”. It just poisons the well for everyone, adding more reasons for women — strong or otherwise — to trust less, and keep who they really are…
/r/ExRedPill13/08/23 12:35 PM
12

Red Pill is basically already religious dogma anyway. It teaches that all you have to do to maximize your value in the world is trust in an external power bigger than yourself. They don’t frame it that way. They talk about “being alpha” and self-improvement, but that’s just a (self-)misdirect. Even the “manliest” and most “alpha” red pillers concede you can’t really stop someone with greater value stealing away your women. That’s why you “spin plates” and don’t get too attached. The true power i…
/r/ExRedPill13/08/23 12:07 PM
2

Shame is their primary way of experiencing the world and that means that is how they confront every situation. The social justice Morons (I'm politically far left btw) are the new moral fundamentalists, with all the self-righteous terror that accompanies that attitude. To those perhaps nodding or shaking their heads at this: Tim Urban (of waitbutwhy.com fame) published a very accessible-all-around book about this recently called What’s Our Problem?: A Self Help Book For Societies, where he argue…
/r/MenSupportMen12/08/23 12:42 AM
1

Edit: Hey, it’s back. That really sucks. Granted, there was a lot of toxicity there, but it was challenged. You could go there and see people not just sitting idly while TRP bros pretended anything they claim is “objective” or “scientific”. Now TRP is back to being a “forbidden fruit sub”, that is quarantined, but not directly criticized. Which, to its target audience, only adds to its outsider mystique. This move helps no one.
/r/ExRedPill10/08/23 11:55 PM
1

Edit: This is an anti-TRP comment, folks. Read past the beginning. The Red Pill isn't just a bunch of "opinions about women". It purports to be an amoral, objective assessment of how the world really works, and a suite of personal protocols developed to offer men the most optimal path through the terrain, assuming you're a man who wants three things: Maximal self-actualization as an "Alpha". Pussy for days. Protection from getting your heart ripped out by conniving bitches incapable of normal hu…
/r/ExRedPill10/08/23 03:54 AM
8

Reasons for Action: Justification, Motivation, Explanation: Most contemporary philosophers start by distinguishing two types of reason for action: “normative” reasons—that is, reasons which, very roughly, favour or justify an action, as judged by a well-informed, impartial observer; and “motivating” reasons—which, again roughly, are reasons the “agent” (that is, the person acting) takes to favour and justify her action and that guides her in acting.
/r/ExRedPill08/08/23 12:59 PM
22

Starting things off with "who has it harder" almost never leads anywhere constructive. It's great that you're seeing the world through an empathetic lens, but it's very hard for people to hear their whole gender called out, or pigeonholed, without feeling personally attacked, or worse: Told that what they feel is unearned. Being "right" is actually a pretty terrible way to accomplish things, when the thing you're "right" about boils down to: You aren't me, and you can't be. One thing everyone sh…
/r/ExRedPill08/08/23 04:57 AM
14

If you do feel that bi women are whores then you need to take some time to work on yourself because that's a pretty nasty thing to think about a whole lot of people. In fact, best to take this thought all the way to its ultimate conclusion, and just stop calling women "whores" at the drop of a hat. Women love sex as much as men, and have sex for the same reasons men do. It's that simple. ("But also for moneeeey!" Yes, I know. And if men could get paid to have sex more often, they would.)
/r/ExRedPill08/08/23 04:38 AM
2

It’s pretty wild trying to imagine what these households are like, especially when it’s a marriage with kids and school and mutual friends, etc. Not to mention the in-laws on both sides. And of course, you can’t tell what’s really going on based on TRP forums and whatnot, because the whole thing has a heavy culture of self-reinforcement and “If it’s not working for you, then you are failing”, like a pyramid scheme or a cult. The disincentive to report failure and doubt is even stronger than the …
/r/ExRedPill07/08/23 06:51 PM
4

The mainstream bdsm community seem to give a certain amount of identity to subs that you see lacking in TRP forums Absolutely. Overtly kinky couples talk about sex and consent and boundaries all the time. They geek out over it, together, and they certainly don't claim it's "natural" for men to be dominant and for women to be submissive. In fact, most in the kink community would call that downright stupid. even though i do see importance of consent being iterated in the TRP forums Unfortunately, …
/r/ExRedPill07/08/23 02:51 PM
4

a form of subconscious fear and anxiety, that they need to do this to keep the guy. you have all these accounts that has the pattern of the guy pulling away or giving the impression that he will or can pull away and the woman scrambling to be sexually available "She knows that i can afford to leave" is an attitude i see again and again in TRP. Yup. Over and over, TRP is about "turning the tables" on women. The fundamental assumption that women have all the power in a Blue Pill world, and while a…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/23 01:15 PM
8

Maybe that’s their kink? It sort of is. The red pill "official platform" description of sexuality is actually a sexual submission fantasy of "topping from the bottom". It's not dominant at all. The core conceit of red pill is that there is a natural order between men and women, and men who embody their place in that hierarchy most effectively ("alphas") will merely have to "be what they are" and all the pussy will gravitate their way naturally. Sexual fantasies that involve a partner just magica…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/23 07:30 AM
2

Too late to book an escape room? It’s always fun to succeed at something together, as a team. And it also helps you learn what it would be like to solve problems and communicate constructively together.
/r/ExRedPill06/08/23 01:15 AM
8

I honestly believe these theories (hypergamy, sperm competition) are total BS and just invented to be interesting and give guys a thrill. Well, all these "pill theories" tend to have one thing in common: They create an adversarial dynamic that: Pits men and women against each other in a "natural" or "market-driven" way Gives men a free pass to be essentially hedonistic and egocentric Provides a justification for constraining women's behavior and applying double standards that equate women behavi…
/r/ExRedPill05/08/23 02:34 AM
15

Here's a fact for you. Let's say we send a probe to Mars, and it discovers proof of long-extinct, microscopic organisms. They're dead. And they were primitive. And it was billions of years ago. How big a deal would that be? It turns out, it would be, by far, the most important scientific discovery in all of human and Earth history. Why? According to the Anthropic Principle, it doesn't matter how miraculously "fine-tuned" the universe or our planet seems for us. That doesn't prove the existence o…
/r/ExRedPill05/08/23 12:25 AM
23

I'd liken it to something like Vitamin C. ("Vitamin S", maybe.) In theory, if you're eating everything else you need, but just not Vitamin C, then you're going to be mostly okay. For a while. But eventually, you're going to start having noticeable problems. But. In practice, that's not the relationship men have with sex. When we take "Vitamin S", we typically mix it into a meal that includes a whole boatload of other vitamins and minerals and food groups. Like "cuddling" and "kind words" and "va…
/r/ExRedPill04/08/23 08:02 AM
3

Then again, that's only probably. Ask her to hang out again and see what happens. Don't be afraid to tell her you like her, but also be realistic and realize rejection is always possible, but not the worst thing in the world. Rejection is like a shot from a syringe, the fear is worse than the pain and the fear makes the pain worse. So, just get it done before the fear can build up any further. Good advice, here. The best way to be "attractive and bulletproof" is to learn how to be excited that y…
/r/ExRedPill04/08/23 05:13 AM
3

Hate to disagree with an actual therapist (something I am not), especially vicariously over the internet, but, I strongly doubt red pill / "internet misogyny" benefits much from listening, or from any suggestion they need to change their mind. Just one example: Try mentioning "patriarchy" or "toxic masculinity", and a dogmatic misogynist will probably say they don't exist. But if you say "I've come to accept men built this world, and women just live in it, and everything would go more smoothly i…
/r/ExRedPill03/08/23 05:39 PM
19

First, it's really sweet of you to be asking this. I hate that it so often "falls to our women" to be the olive branch, offered by life, to pull us out of the river of hate and self-doubt. Especially when those of us who are most hurting tend to take it out on those very women. Which is the second point: You didn't say he was abusive towards you*, so I'll assume for the moment that he wasn't. That makes the above "olive branch" less perilous. But if he is abusive, or just makes your life miserab…
/r/ExRedPill03/08/23 04:40 PM
1

I’m afraid I’m the “black hole” in my marriage. Been there, my friend. I'm a recovering alcoholic (3 years sober), and have had lifelong struggles with depression and anxiety. Fortunately, I was never a "mean drunk", and I don't struggle to much with emotional availability. But I know all too well how being the "broken one" in the relationship can imbalance things, and create the kind of resentment I was talking about. Do you have book recommendations that go into this? Or did you figure this al…
/r/ExRedPill02/08/23 05:56 AM
3

It's unfortunately common! I don't think humans are really all that different from each other, on the whole. Though we often don't quite speak the same "life language", due to different backgrounds and cognitive frameworks (e.g. autism or synesthesia or just valuing certain things differently, or semantic disagreements over words). But we basically all want the same "inputs", experientially. A thing red pill often gets accidentally right is the need to work on yourself, to be more valuable to so…
/r/ExRedPill01/08/23 07:52 PM
3

You are making huge unfounded assumptions about what men want and then claiming that’s what women want. I have to say, that is not a reply I expected. Which of those things do you find unappealing, personally? Which do you think women might react to negatively? I can think of additional things to go on that list. Perhaps even a few "women only/usually" things. But I can't think of any girlfriend I've ever had that wouldn't appreciate all the stuff on that list. What does loving oneself mean exac…
/r/ExRedPill01/08/23 06:38 PM
14

Think of how you like to be treated, and what keeps you looking forward to seeing a person (of any gender). Things like: They make you feel valued. They tell you they're glad to see you because when you're around, their life is better, for specific reasons. They listen when you talk, and they ask questions and make statements that demonstrate they aren't just being polite. They're excited about what's in your mind. They're dialed into your story. When you tell them about your day, they hear it a…
/r/ExRedPill01/08/23 05:15 AM
9

These characteristics are going to be attractive to women around the same age because we go through the same maturity changes, and also attractive to a minority of younger women who specifically seek out older men for these traits. You're 100% right, but I wish we'd all scream this louder and more often: Men don't get better with age. Humans get better with age! "Men age better" isn't an exclusively Red Pill-based claim, but it's typical for their playbook: Hiding their insecurities behind menta…
/r/ExRedPill01/08/23 02:06 AM
9

This would make a fascinating read! Other commenters have talked about “red pill women” being sort of like “pickme’s”, but I’ve always found the whole “pickme” concept kinda broken from the start. Or at least reductionist. I think what often happens is women are just as saturated in “men are the default people” as men are, and every woman is basically “trained” in the male POV, to some extent. It’s just required life reading. And sometimes that can even result in a highly empathic, but self-effa…
/r/ExRedPill30/07/23 07:59 AM
10

Not entirely great advice. The problem is not your technique. The problem is your own value. Go work on yourself first. This is actually just toxic thinking directed inwardly, instead of at someone else. A person no-shows for the same reasons they might not reply, or not reach out at all: Their own reasons. You’ll make yourself crazy believing “Oh, this is just an indication I haven’t made myself sufficiently irresistible yet.” No-showing is rude. Or it’s a sign something really bad happened. Ei…
/r/ExRedPill30/07/23 05:46 AM
1

It's all about context. Being enthusiastic about talking to someone you already hooked up with twice in a row is more than acceptable behavior. 100% right. I like to use the word "credibility" here. "Context" works too. Imagine you meet someone on a hiking trail, strike up a friendship, and begin tentatively sharing tasks, like starting fires or checking the map. What you won't do: You won't start "hanging back", to catch up with them a little later than normal, or hiding in trees so they can't …
/r/ExRedPill29/07/23 06:30 AM
3

You don't need to answer this publicly if you don't want, but even just ask yourself: What do you think of the idea of a woman who actually cares about you, and thinks you're great as a person, sexually humiliating you, to intentionally get you off? And be there to tell you she still loves you after? To separate the sexual pleasure from the self-loathing? looking at all these “All men are disgusting,worthless,” posts by women. Or the SMV scale and me feeling super inferior to almost everyonei co…
/r/ExRedPill29/07/23 05:49 AM
3

Also, feminism is huge, and composed of many complex, intersecting sociopolitical movements stretching back centuries: Many scholars consider feminist campaigns to be a main force behind major historical societal changes for women's rights, particularly in the West, where they are near-universally credited with achieving women's suffrage, gender-neutral language, reproductive rights for women (including access to contraceptives and abortion), and the right to enter into contracts and own propert…
/r/ExRedPill29/07/23 12:09 AM
3

Oh god, please don't mistake me for a mental health professional. I'm more like a "self taught lone mountaineer" who starts fires with his bare hands, and leads you successfully across an incredibly dangerous chasm, so you're grateful and amazed.* Then you find out years later, from an actual, forest ranger who works that area, that most everything that guy "knew" was irrelevant, because he didn't know there was a fucking bridge. And also? Actual pros carry matches to start fires, because it's e…
/r/ExRedPill28/07/23 04:36 PM
4

Please read this comment. You have little reason to trust me over anyone else, but hear me out: This is way above Reddit's pay grade. There are no answers here for your situation. ... Why? Because there's too much going on, and you and your ex both have too much to gain or lose from this "high stakes" relationship. You're both very vulnerable. You're both in a place where one, meaningful human connection could significantly change the direction of your life for the better, for a very long time. …
/r/ExRedPill28/07/23 03:22 PM
10

I think RP really boils down to: “I have a right to be regarded the way I wish to regard myself: A stoic alpha, that gets what he wants.” This has several kinds of fallout: If I feel unwanted emotions, like fear, anger, and disgust, it’s someone else’s fault. Not mine. Anyone who doesn’t see a “stoic alpha” when they look at me has attacked me. There must be an external source of truth (“men are like X, women are like Y”), whether from God or “biological reality” to verify my right to be regarde…
/r/ExRedPill28/07/23 02:55 AM
2

if you are used to a certain feeling and you have trained your body extensively to that feeling, sometimes its hard to cum with a vagina. Then they commence to jackhammer you half to death, or other things happen. Yup, that's fair. Personally, I would urge any couple where either partner is struggling to orgasm from penetration alone to try creating a safe space to work out something mutually pleasurable, based on the specifics. But that still doesn't rule out a possible, fundamental incompatibi…
/r/ExRedPill27/07/23 08:28 AM
3

Thanks for the detailed reply. So if a man marries a woman who is infertile, even if otherwise "unspoiled", he's merely a simp of a different variety, yes? And the same goes for people who simply marry with no intention of having children? Let's say medical science creates perfect, side effect free, maintenance free, women's birth control. Essentially, fertility is now "toggleable". You meet what seems to be the woman of your dreams. And she's been saving fertility for marriage. She's ironclad a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 08:10 AM
3

This is an earnest attempt to understand. So to clarify, you're saying: Her value to you, and other men who feel the same as you, is diminished by her sexual and relationship history, which demonstrably proves anyone marrying her is getting suckered into a raw deal, as they gain nothing "exclusive" in exchange for their commitment and resources. If she and the man she marries disagree with that characterization, and are happy, he's either lying to himself, or "grinning through the pain" of being…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 07:20 AM
5

This is all good stuff, and I just want to expand on a couple things. Its easy to tell during sex when a guy masturbates too much and its the worst sex ever. I know this is well-intentioned advice, and frankly we need more women contributors in this sub, taking the time to reach out to dudes "on the brink". So thank you! But I don't think a man should refrain from sex and intimacy "until he's got his porn and masturbation habit under control". You didn't actually say that, of course. But the ide…
/r/ExRedPill27/07/23 05:43 AM
2

Yeah, in hindsight I should have probably written more about being "present", and about the prospect of being an "unwitting dom". Which happens all the time, of course (e.g. me in my early 20's!) I'm just taking red pillers at their word when they talk about sexuality, and especially the way they insist they know better than women what women "naturally" want. That's submissive as hell. Desperately so. But even then, there's probably room for them to squuuuueeeze by and do it ethically, e.g. if t…
/r/ExRedPill25/07/23 05:11 AM
2

My comment concerns the typical, red pill position on sexual dominance, which is usually couched in terms of "natural order" and a struggle of wills across gender lines, with "alpha males" reigning supreme. they do not have any inclination towards submission more than the general crowd. I expect many do range all over the "dom/sub spectrum". That doesn't change the fact that the way they collectively characterize sexual power exchange obviates consent to BDSM, and eschews the notion of sex as an…
/r/ExRedPill25/07/23 04:17 AM
18

Please just remember you don't have to "convince" someone you're profoundly unhappy, and that it hurts that they don't care. You're either waking up each day looking forward to life with this person, or you aren't. If you aren't, and their reaction to that news isn't "Oh no! We need to fix that because I love you!" but rather "You shouldn't be unhappy, and it's unfair to me because blah blah etc." then trying to argue with them is just buying into a toxic premise: You need their permission to le…
/r/ExRedPill24/07/23 09:58 PM
2

This tracks perfectly, because "red pill dominance" is actually textbook, sexually submissive behavior. An actual, male BDSM dom doesn't give a flying fuck if your ex was 6'4" and 280 lbs of raw muscle, with a 8" dick. And he doesn't care if you need a 600 horsepower vibrator and 1000 words of praises and scoldings to have an orgasm. And he definitely doesn't get butthurt and angry and impotent if you don't automatically think he's the most masculine specimen in existence. He just smiles, starts…
/r/ExRedPill24/07/23 04:15 AM
5

Honestly I think the single most effective 'test' you could run would be to ask a man straight up 'what is your opinion of feminism?'. This is a great idea. Especially if you also have your own "feminism stump speech" ready to go, that is male-inclusive, i.e. the theme is less "reactionary feminist" and more "patriarchy hurts men too". Both are valid, and needed, but there are many men out there who aren't exactly anti-feminist, but they simply have the wrong idea. (This is true for many women, …
/r/ExRedPill24/07/23 01:36 AM
2

Yeah, it doesn't really take an "alpha" or a "non-toxic guy" to be polyamorous, necessarily. Polyamory really only requires a "non-scarcity" mindset, and confidence that your partner wants more from you than sex. You can let your partner sleep around and still be a douchebag.
/r/ExRedPill24/07/23 01:20 AM
5

The bigger the stigma on something, the more it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that only "bad or hurting people" do it. Since sex work is seen as "desperate" or morally questionable, or a reason "men won't want you", there's always going to be a disproportionately large number of sex workers who make the decision to do it for unhealthy reasons. And exploitation of sex workers is also more permissible, because there's a collective sense of "they deserve it". I also don’t think that the people…
/r/ExRedPill24/07/23 12:50 AM
10

She even invited me to a Marijuana party. Hold the fuck on. Forget OnlyFans. How the hell are you commenting on Reddit from 1936?
/r/ExRedPill23/07/23 11:37 PM
10

It's worth remembering there's an inherent confirmation bias experienced by heterosexual relationship havers, and this would be true no matter what sort of "gendered problems" the world has: If you're attracted to women sexually and romantically, the people in your life who hurt you the most will mostly be women. If you're attracted to men sexually and romantically, the people in your life who hurt you the most will mostly be men. So there's bound to be drama and resentment, everything else asid…
/r/ExRedPill22/07/23 03:40 AM
3

Oh damn, thank you very much. I find Reddit a good outlet for working on my writing from arbitrary-ish prompts, but I don't know who it's reaching, if anyone. I'm glad to hear someone's reading. I don't know how many eyeballs threads in this sub actually get, but the subject matter means a lot to me, and this place serves a horribly necessary purpose.
/r/ExRedPill20/07/23 05:39 PM
3

First of all: hugs, my friend. You obviously deserve, and have to offer, love. I can relate to a lot of what you've said. Depression, traumatic childhood, alcohol abuse, social isolation. I'm not "spectrumy" though. More eccentric and absurdly wordy and occasionally very intense. But that's polarizing, not bad. And polarizing is good for dating. I do wonder about whether your neurodivergence might lend itself to some sexy "polarization" as well. Basically, it's better to be amazing to one in fiv…
/r/ExRedPill20/07/23 04:39 PM
7

A loooot of us don't think of it that way. In fact, so much of the red pill "knowledge" is just mental gymnastics to twist things men and women have in common into stark differences, to make male insecurity seem like "biological truth", and women "going against nature" when they're really just... acting like us. To put it in kink terms: They think they're sexually dominant, but they're really submissives "topping from the bottom". They give women all the power in the bedroom, over everything the…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 09:15 PM
10

I'm a "high body count" guy who isn't a paragon of towering masculinity, and has plenty of problems (recovering alcoholic, other things), and insecurities. But for whatever reason, I've always had a high amount of sexual confidence, once I know someone's into me, and figured out pretty early on that most women will rarely punish you for being vulnerable and honest with your feelings, as long as you aren't out of control or manipulative. It's not the feelings they don't like. It's the withholding…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 08:51 PM
5

This is going to sound like "internet snark" where people say shit online for everyone else's benefit, but not for the person they're addressing. So I'm adding this bit first to say: It's sincerely not meant that way. I think you might be failing to recognize how shallow these women are, or possibly only "landing" shallow women because the ones who aren't shallow aren't buying you. Admittedly, there are strong incentives for exceptionally attractive women to not bother developing much depth or p…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 04:57 AM
2

Yes, I know that, and you know that. I'm just saying that to someone who struggles to look outside themselves and emulate the experience of others, or imagine alternate realities, giving the status quo a "label" other than normal is incoherent. Hence the contradiction you mentioned. It's the same reason people struggle with the term "cisgender" (hearing an insult or "new" gender) and perceive the concept of "pronouns" as superfluous (despite using them already).
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 04:29 AM
4

It makes sense if you adopt their mindset: The "man's world" is also the default world, i.e. what is normal. Thus, feminism is an attack on what is normal, and the term "patriarchy" implies the existence of other, viable options for a new normal.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 02:57 AM
8

I do not understand why RP people think bullying is going to do anything to help change obesity. Yup. I don't think anyone believes bullying really helps. And the whole "I'm just spreading health awareness" claim is a facade, too. You can be right for the wrong reasons. We shouldn't be protecting people's feelings from scientifically backed health information, but when it comes to body shaming, people who "just want to raise awareness of what's healthy" are exactly as sincere as those opposing w…
/r/ExRedPill17/07/23 10:00 PM
14

We actually don't treat ourselves as three dimensional, human beings with a full range of access to emotions, including the "uncomfortable" ones. But since it's hard to face that, we frequently expect women to be living Swiss Army knives... always the tool we need, never the ones that remind us what tools we're lacking. This is the most useless dating advice for men, it trivilalizes our struggles and gaslights us. It's this lack of answers that pushes men to find actual (but wrong) answers in gr…
/r/ExRedPill16/07/23 01:56 AM
2

Why do we have to state if these are normal to traditional standards or not? Oh, we totally don't need to. And if I seemed like I was arguing with you, I misspoke. The only reason I said "women's work doesn't count as 'power'" (in so many words) is because in the context of this To tradwife or not to tradwife discussion, taking "responsibility" for housework isn't subversive or challenging. Dudes will just let you have that one, no contest. But without the context, it's just a thing. Personally,…
/r/ExRedPill15/07/23 01:23 AM
1

2/2 If you can build on that, the girls will come. One of the wonderful things about women is the way they open up like flowers, as soon as you stop trying to pull them apart with your hands, and start shining on them like sunlight. They're a little different from us, but not that much. One of the worst things about TRP is the way they teach you to see women as the "other", like a species of rare, glowing leopard you have to hunt at night, and approach from the side with a silver net. Some kind …
/r/ExRedPill15/07/23 12:58 AM
1

Hey, listen. What you're doing here (recognizing you're on a downward spiral and fighting to find an alternative) is extremely hard. That alone is very, very impressive. It's far too easy to compare where you're at to where it seems others are, and say "I'm so far behind, and I have so little." But you know what? Most of those people who are "ahead" would not be able to do what you're doing, when challenged with the same amount of doubt, isolation, and feelings of hopelessness. They'd crumble fr…
/r/ExRedPill15/07/23 12:57 AM
1

Yeah, that sucks. And probably part of what sustains the "men and women can't be friends" thing. To all those supposed "friends" who couldn't respect your relationship, the suggestion they could control themselves doesn't feel like it has much upside.
/r/ExRedPill14/07/23 10:31 PM
1

I blame a lot of the difficulty on puritanical attitudes about sex, and shame, and the common assumption that sexual attraction has to be polarized; on or off. And "on" is regarded as basically the same thing as cheating. (With men assumed to be "on by default" and women assumed to be "unfaithful if on".) This conversation is frequently heresy: "Oh sure, I'd fuck your friend So-and-So if we never got together. Which of my friends are you into?" "Well, at first I didn't see the appeal of Such-and…
/r/ExRedPill14/07/23 10:20 PM
6

Which perfectly illustrates the problem often in play when men say "There's nothing wrong with the man taking the lead on things, if that's his wife's preference as well." It's a perfectly valid statement in a vacuum. But it's a statement frequently made by men who want "taking the lead" to mean "fewer responsibilities that I dislike, and veto power whenever I dislike the results of you being responsible for things." Treating "Some couples want a heteronormative dynamic with defined, familiar ro…
/r/ExRedPill14/07/23 08:47 PM
2

I don't think Gus was a great guy. I just think he had a better grip on his ego and masculinity than Walt did. "A man provides even when he is unappreciated" is a better outlook Oh I agree! And I didn't think you were calling him a great guy. I just think it's a testament to what a well-crafted villain he is: He understands what defines a conventional, admirable, archetypal "family man". He's mastered the concept, and can sell it back to messy normal people better than they can articulate it to …
/r/ExRedPill14/07/23 07:43 PM
4

Yes! A better sense, and probably zero conviction. And that's part of what made him such a dangerous player, and nearly impossible for Walt to outmaneuver. When he told Walt "A man provides", he knew it would hit home, right in the dude insecurity zone. But the irony being: Fring's family was probably just as much a cover story as his Volvo and his legitimate businesses. Or, at best, a kind of legacy entitlement. He played it off as a "We are men who are nearly peers" pep talk, but only because …
/r/ExRedPill14/07/23 06:40 PM
5

The second list works fine if you insert "necessarily" into all the items, i.e.: It is NOT: Necessarily a husband leading his wife Necessarily a father disciplining his children Necessarily a man speaking out against prostitution Necessarily a man showing responsibility (although this is so vague, I'm not sure needs to be a bullet at all) Necessarily a man teaching others respect and self control I suspect OP is sneaking a bunch of patriarchal leftovers through the back door, though. Hence the l…
/r/ExRedPill14/07/23 06:27 PM
5

The exception is young guys who start self help stuff because of TRP. Going from not exercising, dressing well, cleaning, socializing more, etc, to suddenly doing all those things This is sort of what happened to me in my early 20's, during my "prove to myself I can pick up girls at bars" / PUA playbook period. I never felt any strong resentment towards women, but I definitely managed to hand them a lot of power over my self-esteem and masculinity (through no fault of their own). I wasn't social…
/r/ExRedPill11/07/23 11:37 PM
4

I think this holds water, although we should add that there's a big part of it that isn't even metaphorical, but literally the same relationship enforced across the economy and the "dating market": Women classed more like commodities than people. Economically, we enforce that by designating certain necessary labor as "domestic" (women's), and creating market pressure through moral and religious dogma that incentives women to inure themselves to "providers" who wield more financial power. As wome…
/r/ExRedPill06/07/23 10:34 AM
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