| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Am I crazy, or are these expectations unreasonable during a divorce?I’m not even sure I would’ve let her use my tools… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 05:11 AM |
| 12 | Wife had an “Emotional Affair”, now wants to fix the marriage. See details for full context.Nope, nope, nope! Just move on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 02:15 AM |
| 3 | Men who are separated but still in the same houseDid we marry the same woman? | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/26 02:30 PM |
| 4 | Men who are separated but still in the same houseDon’t be fooled, she doesn’t want anything to do with you anytime, she is just putting on a happy face in front of the kids. This will likely change as the kids get older and are out of the house more, it definitely did for me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/26 02:28 PM |
| 4 | Men who are separated but still in the same houseIt just goes to show how different the legalities of divorce are from place to place. I am in North Carolina in the US and here you must be “legally separated“ for a year before you can finalize the divorce. Legal separation requires you to reside at two different domiciles. I don’t think I would have been able to stay in the same house as my now EX WIFE. It was hard enough before the separation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/26 02:25 PM |
| 2 | Dealing with family members continually contacting my exI’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. This just goes to prove that regardless of what happened, people in general tend to rally around the woman rather than the man. I’ve never felt so free and more like myself than I have after my divorce. I’ve also never felt so lonely. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/07/26 05:45 PM |
| 1 | Need adviceLET IT GO! Don’t let her have that control inIn your life going forward. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/26 05:59 PM |
| 3 | I could use some help.Sorry you’re having to go through this. As others have said, she’s already made her decision. As hard as it is, the best thing you can do is move from emotion to logic. Work on what is best for YOU and your kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/26 01:46 PM |
| 1 | Second marriage is over after financial infidelity…. Right?Sorry you’re going through this. You’ve gotten some good advice on steps to follow. Get started now! | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/26 12:51 PM |
| 5 | It is so hard to be the asshole...The fact that you feel so conflicted just goes to prove how good a person you really are. The fact that you were able to tell her no, goes to prove that you are well on your way to recovery from the divorce. FYI, that’s NOT being an asshole. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 12:33 PM |
| 2 | I’m bitter, angry, and want people to agree that I was treated badly.I’m sorry for what you’re having to endure. Unless I missed it, you didn’t state whether the divorce was finalized yet. If not, find a lawyer is focused on men and is a good fit for you. Document everything she has ever done that shows abuse and or slander. Screenshot the social media as that can disappear. Only communicate through text or email. Unfortunately, this is a business transaction with a pissed off partner at this point. Good luck, we’re here if you need us. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/26 02:52 PM |
| 6 | Divorce is final, now whatSign the papers. You can’t start a new chapter until you finish the last one. It’s not going to be easy, but it doesn’t have to be really hard either. Move slow and deliberately into things that you enjoy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/26 02:01 AM |
| 2 | Divorcing wife and feelingsThe absolute most important thing you said was document everything. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/26 01:11 AM |
| 1 | Tell me how it was living with your soon to be ex through the divorce.That’s just crazy… ETA: in my state that would not be considered a legal separation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/06/26 08:42 PM |
| 1 | Final strawThere are actually some divorce subs that are for both sexes. This one is actually for men. In typical real men fashion, the men’s groups don’t kick women out like the women’s group kick men out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/06/26 11:06 PM |
| 7 | Final strawDamn, you need to give your attorney a bonus! | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/06/26 10:58 PM |
| 2 | [ looking for advice] She left most of her stuff at my houseI don’t know about Minnesota law, but I would suggest a written notice sent by certified mail. You can state a certain time, like 30 days to remove all items or they will be sold or disposed of. Also, in that letter I would include the date that she moved out as well as the date the divorce was final. That should cover you for any rights of tenancy on her part. In the meantime, contact a local attorney and make sure that will suffice. You could probably even get this answered at a legal aid or “… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/26 02:02 AM |
| 4 | Do I tattle on my ex wife and her paramour? (After divorce is final)My ex wife and I divorced after my child was 18. She went off to college and now due to some medical issues with my daughter I’m having to deal with ex way more than I would have ever thought. Indifference is the correct response. I derive a certain amount of pleasure when my wife realizes she doesn’t have any power over anything I do anymore. There is no upside for you to piss off anyone intentionally. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/26 05:31 PM |
| 5 | Got served divorce papers, wife only wants one thingBut only if she pays support… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/26 09:21 PM |
| 0 | Had a nice little surprise yesterdayI always thought about twins, however three sisters might have to go on the bucket list… /h | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/26 09:21 AM |
| 1 | Reasons to get divordedExactly what I was thinking. r/deadbedroom | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/05/26 09:17 PM |
| 1 | Things just keep somehow getting worse manI’m not sure if you’re in the US. I am not familiar with The Divorce Center. In many states there is a process called collaborative divorce. You still have to pay for lawyers, but it’s quicker and easier if you can actually sit down and have a conversation. If she continues to ass up, just bite the bullet and get a good attorney. Also, document everything about the affair and how she has reacted since. Only communicate through text or email and keep screenshots. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/26 02:56 PM |
| 10 | Wife’s Having An Affair.I upvoted many other comments, but I’m going to reiterate some thoughts. Do not let her know that you know until you have court level evidence to prove it. Document everything. Contact a lawyer. I really like the idea of doing consults with many different ones for several reasons. It allows you to get the best feel for who you can work with as well as blocking your cheating wife from using them. Good luck, we’re here for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/26 05:01 PM |
| 5 | Wife wants more money so she can buy a house "she deserves"I’m focusing on your last paragraph. Did you ever make her happy when you were married? It’s not your job anymore, and it’s likely she’s not happy regardless of any external forces. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/26 05:54 PM |
| 1 | How did you value your home?I don’t know how old your child is, but you could ask them, or discuss it in therapy. Some kids may not want to stay in the house without both parents there. I know this has been the case for some teens I’ve known. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/26 06:54 PM |
| 2 | How did you value your home?Yep, men fall into the trap of continually sacrificing themselves for the family. This serves no one well at the point of divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/26 06:50 PM |
| 2 | I spent 7k on ex wife’s titsIf it was a loan, she owes you the money regardless. At the very least, it can be argued as a marital asset and then you get half of the value. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/26 12:14 PM |
| 1 | How much responsibility do you bear for your divorce?I responded to someone else that it was similar to my situation and this sounds so as well. While there were some other issues beforehand, as the divorce became inevitable, I became less of the footstool, and she did not know how to handle that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/26 08:41 AM |
| 2 | How much responsibility do you bear for your divorce?This sounds similar to my situation. I am more than willing to own my port in the ending of the marriage. But, she remains clueless and doesn’t understand “why I did this to her“. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/26 08:37 AM |
| 3 | Ex wife picsYep, OP should just share them and then delete them. /s | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 11:03 PM |
| 7 | Difference in Women vs Men After DivorceThat’s because they have the answer to everything! /s | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/26 02:49 AM |
| 2 | Wife just served me divorce papersI would argue that it IS about finding a “good fit”. Meaning someone you feel will vehemently fight for your rights and that you can communicate comfortably with. I can’t believe you’re advocating spending over $6000 to try and find a decent attorney, not to mention the time lost in the process. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/26 03:25 PM |
| 3 | Wife just served me divorce papersWhile I think it may be prudent to speak with more than one lawyer, you should find a good fit after two or three. You need to find someone you feel has your best interest in mind and that you’re comfortable with. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/26 12:37 PM |
| 1 | I think my wife is going to file for divorce soonI don’t remember the source, but I always heard that women in a relationship expect the men to change and men in a relationship expect the women to stay the same. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/26 07:08 PM |
| 0 | I think my wife is going to file for divorce soonI disagree with a lot of what you are saying. Rather than AI, go read some things for yourself. Also, many law firms put on free seminars you can attend virtually and ask questions of the presenters. This was extremely helpful for me and was literally free advice. If y’all are able to have a civil discussion on assets, you may be able to work out some things before seeking legal advice. Even if you don’t figure things out beforehand, having the discussion will greatly reduce your FaceTime with t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/26 07:01 PM |
| 3 | Let’s get to the point - did she leave us because of money, sex or boredomIn my case, I think my ex-wife read too much Gloria Steinem.. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/26 05:54 PM |
| 19 | Let’s get to the point - did she leave us because of money, sex or boredomI think a lot of women leave because of general discontent. Honestly, I think this stems more from unrealistic societal pressures/expectations than it does any thing the guy is doing or not doing. There seems to be a whole lot of “not happy“ going on. My wife was real fond of the “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” line, and I think that is definitely true. The problem is mama is just a generally unhappy person and seems to revel in bringing everybody down with her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/26 03:09 PM |
| 7 | Let’s get to the point - did she leave us because of money, sex or boredomI feel ya man, my EX WIFE never missed a chance to say something demeaning. Mostly in private but sometimes publicly, and always told me if it weren’t for her, I’d be homeless. SOO much better off now! | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/26 03:00 PM |
| 2 | My ex has a support group, a therapist, and her friends. I have... my dog. Why is this so gendered?I’ll have to disagree with “just get yourself out there”. I asked for help from several sources, nothing. I also signed up for a divorce support group, granted it was not men only. However, there was not enough interest in the group and the sponsors disbanded it. I live in a large metro area in one of the fastest growing states in the US. If I have trouble finding help here, I’m assuming it’s that way in many areas. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 11:59 PM |
| 4 | Are they all the same?Get the to a lawyer now! If you know it’s over, there’s nothing wrong with you filing rather than waiting for her to file. I don’t know what state/country you’re in, however, don’t move out of the house. During my divorce, we got together with the lawyers and hammered out a separation agreement stating who was responsible for what from that point on. When it came time for the actual divorce, (we have to wait a year after physical separation in my state). We just agreed to how things had been and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/26 07:50 PM |
| 1 | I have friends, a job, and a full life. I've also never felt more alone. Is this normal?What’s stopping you from filing? | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 01:42 AM |
| 8 | I have friends, a job, and a full life. I've also never felt more alone. Is this normal?Better yet a dog. Get a cute one, they make a good wing man. The dog park is a great place to meet people. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 01:38 AM |
| 1 | When did you stop calling her your wife?It was somewhat situational for me, but as soon as we agreed it was over I started referring to her as my soon to be ex-wife unless I was in the presence of my daughter. My state requires a one year separation before you can file for divorce, so I got a fair bit of use out of that term. Now at six months after the divorce being final, I will sometimes say former wife or my daughter’s mother. Honestly, it’s still a bit of a moving target. I will sometimes, amongst friends, jokingly call her my ba… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 01:33 AM |
| 2 | I've come to the realization that marriage and divorce are all about the woman in life and in courts.Subconsciously, I must miss conversations with my ex wife😁😆🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 01:18 AM |
| 3 | I've come to the realization that marriage and divorce are all about the woman in life and in courts.I wasn’t assessing or placing blame. Just making a simple observation/statement. Evidently women are just less interested in knowing what men think. Who’s showing a victim mentality now? | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/26 06:29 PM |
| 14 | I've come to the realization that marriage and divorce are all about the woman in life and in courts.I guess the benefit on Reddit is that women can post in men’s subs, but men can’t post in women’s subs… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/26 04:49 PM |
| 4 | Honestly, unsure what the best move forward isI ultimately gave up on my marriage after many years of being dismissed, disrespected, and belittled. If a man had said the same things to a woman that my wife said to me, he would have been labeled verbally abusive. My two cents is you need to be aware of how she treats you in other areas, not just political. It is perfectly normal that people don’t agree on everything, the issue is how they treat each other in disagreement. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/26 12:25 PM |
| 6 | Honestly, unsure what the best move forward isIs there respect and kindness in the discussions on BOTH sides? In other words, can you discuss it calmly or is it a matter of each each other thinking the other one is wrong in there thinking. If not, the problem is not your political alignments. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/26 11:36 AM |
| 2 | Best next steps?All good questions, and the lawyer will have his own list. One thing to be aware of is has she squirreled any money away or hidden it through the years? ETA: many of these items will have to be worked out between the two of you and your lawyers. I don’t know what the timeframe is in Texas, in my state you have to wait for a year before you file for divorce. However, you can do a separation agreement now and that could conceivably become your divorce agreement as well. She has likely already spok… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/26 08:38 PM |
| 4 | Can people who get divorced remain close friends?I’m thinking maybe only two years… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/26 01:21 AM |
| 3 | Why divorce if things are amicable?I’m thinking she was always spiteful and manipulative. She just hid it well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/26 03:36 PM |
| 1 | Opinion Needed: Splitting an ExpenseI absolutely agree with these points. Regarding the first point, it should be a swap of time and it should be in writing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/26 06:04 PM |
| 3 | Is there a union for divorced men?I heard many people say that, but not sure I have heard him say it. Statistically, the highest divorce rate is among lesbian couples, then it falls to heterosexual couples, and the folks with the lowest divorce rate are male homosexual couples. Always look for the common denominator. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/26 05:25 PM |
| 1 | Is there a union for divorced men?Creaster | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/26 05:20 PM |
| 2 | So are all divorced men narcissists?I’ve been on this earth 60 years. I have come to the conclusion that the people that claim all of their relationships are with narcissists really need to look in the mirror. No pun intended 😉 | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/26 07:00 PM |
| 1 | So are all divorced men narcissists?Well, I didn’t realize my ex got remarried and divorced again so quickly… /s | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/26 09:45 AM |
| 3 | Wife wants to meet in personYou could express that the only way you would meet her beforehand is if the conversation were recorded. If it was me, I would also encourage her to record it as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/26 05:21 PM |
| 2 | IF I am assigned a portion of wife’s ridiculous CC balancesIf a judge orders you to pay the problem is between you and the judge and not between you and the credit card company. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/26 07:08 PM |
| 1 | IF I am assigned a portion of wife’s ridiculous CC balancesResponding to myself rather editing You need to gather all of the financial information you have from the past about her inability to handle money. If you separated finances because of that it MAY have some bearing on your separation agreement and divorce settlement. Get thee to a lawyer ASAP! | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/26 07:05 PM |
| 1 | IF I am assigned a portion of wife’s ridiculous CC balancesIf you are not officially separated yet you need to do so. In the disclosure process, she will have to reveal all of her financials. If she doesn’t, they won’t be included in the divorce settlement. If there are children involved, I would not suggest moving to avoid having to pay. Moving out of state likely would not make a big difference, you would have to leave the country and you could still have your US assets seized. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/26 07:02 PM |
| 2 | IF I am assigned a portion of wife’s ridiculous CC balancesThis brings up a question I had. Did this debt occur before your separation? If so, you will likely have to deal with it one way or another, meaning it’s part of the negotiating process for marital assets. If the debt occurred after your separation, then it should be on her. Be sure and document your date of separation, and you may want to try and get a separation agreement in place. My ex and I used a collaborative process. If that’s available in your area and you can stand to be in the same ro… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/26 06:39 PM |
| 2 | Can’t take the screaming and yelling…Find a good divorce lawyer that deals with domestic abuse. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/26 01:27 PM |
| 4 | Stbxw has been secretly making double my income for many years while I struggled.As someone else said you should go for custody and child support. Also, if she was the income owner, you should be receiving alimony. Regardless of what she was “giving“ you, alimony will be based on her actual income. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/26 12:53 PM |
| 1 | I’m done being niceBetter yet, leave it down and leave it wet! | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/26 09:14 AM |
| 1 | I’m done being niceIf her name is on the title, that means she owns half of the house. You need to document everything she has told you about moving out and not following through with it. If your lawyer is not working out, you might want to search for one that typically works with more men. That said, you should likely move back into the house immediately. Make it as uncomfortable for her as possible without giving her any legal ammunition. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/26 09:08 AM |
| 4 | The words “I’m done”I think it really means “I quit” for most women and men as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/25 11:18 AM |
| 2 | Advice on dogNot to be a Debbie downer, but just trying to give practical advice. If you’re going into a divorce, thinking things will be fair. You need to amend that expectation early on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/25 09:12 PM |
| 1 | Advice on dogSorry, you’re having to deal with the divorce and the dog. If your wife went through a rescue group many of them will take the dog back. You could also give your wife the option of taking the dog before you have to do something with it. Kind of like calling her bluff. Otherwise, check with any rescue groups in your area. You also may find good options on Facebook or next-door. There are many dog subreddits that could possibly help as well. Last resort, start visiting the dog park, you could even… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/25 02:04 PM |
| 3 | Why can’t you write off lawyer fees?I live in a metro area of more than 1.6 million. I have yet to find a men’s support group. Most men tend to keep their heads down, and do what they need to rather than joining together to force a change. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/25 08:25 PM |
| 8 | What new hobbies did you guys pick up?The last half of the last sentence is holy grail of divorce outcomes! | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/25 06:30 PM |
| 9 | Does sexting deserve divorce?Make sure you get some screenshots, then find a decent lawyer. Don’t tell your STBXW anything until you have an exit strategy mapped out. She has already checked out and may be a step ahead of you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/25 11:13 PM |
| 3 | Is it a suicidal to go no lawyer?And an idiot for a lawyer! | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/25 08:47 AM |
| 8 | Told my wife of 15 years that I was considering divorcing her.If sex is(was) important to you, don’t discount what the lack of intimacy has done to your self esteem and mental health. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/25 01:28 AM |
| 8 | You know what’s worse than divorce?Using the children as pawns to manipulate the outcome of the divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/09/25 03:54 PM |
| 1 | Divorcing, need evaluation of the value of wife's pensionAnd add to that at least one party that already feels slighted and is looking to settle the score. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/25 01:10 PM |
| 5 | Wife left me todayThis is VERY similar to my situation. As hard as this is right now she did you a solid. If this is how she feels, accept it and move on. A life partner should make life easier and more enjoyable, not miserable and second guessing yourself. It’s going to stink for a month or two and then slowly get better. However, don’t be a deer in the headlights, get yourself to a lawyer and get on the stick with protecting your assets. Keep notes of her behavior and only communicate through email or text. We’… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/25 12:46 AM |
| 2 | Talked to a lawyer today, how screwed am I?I didn’t read your other post, so I don’t know how rough things may have been so far. That said, if you and your soon to be ex, can sit down and speak rationally in the presence of two attorneys, you might try a collaborative divorce if it is allowed in your state. It is much less contentious, and everybody is there for a “Win-Win“. For us, this worked well, it was a dissolution of a business agreement versus a Litigious grab for the others assets. It’s more about coming out the other side, rath… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/09/25 12:16 AM |
| 1 | Divorce Plunged in Kentucky. Equal Custody for Fathers Is a Big Reason Why.Yep, I would guess that the percentage of women that are abusive is very close to the same as men. Their abuse just shows up differently. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/09/25 01:47 PM |
| 5 | Divorce Plunged in Kentucky. Equal Custody for Fathers Is a Big Reason Why.The other thing that’s not discussed here is the probability that the percentage of women that are abusive is likely as high as men, they just tend to do it verbally and emotionally versus physically. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/09/25 01:44 PM |
| 2 | Anyone else ever feel like they just want to punch the AP?I’m more the rifle with a scope type. That said I’d be much more pissed at her than him, unless he was a close friend, then it would be a toss up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/25 09:57 AM |
| 1 | Anyone else ever feel like they just want to punch the AP?This has always been my thought. It’s not always the case, but it is possible that the AP doesn’t know about the marriage, however, your wife does. If I was going to punch someone it would likely be her… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/25 09:52 AM |
| 4 | Male of female lawyer?I think it may have more to do with the size of the firm than the sex of the lawyer. When I was “shopping” I got a much better feel from a firm with one or two lawyers versus a bunch. My ex and I wound up doing a collaborative divorce. She hired a man and I hired a woman. Funny enough, I felt like my lawyer was working for my wife and hers was working for me. If your state allows collaborative, and your STBXW is levelheaded I recommend this. It was a relatively easy process and slightly less exp… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/25 07:34 PM |
| 3 | Male of female lawyer?You are in fact the one being interrogated when the opposing party’s council asks questions… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/25 07:24 PM |
| 11 | Divorce survivor guiltMore women need to have CONSEQUENCES from false claims… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/08/25 07:50 PM |
| 5 | Is an attorney worth itAt least have a consult with an attorney. This will usually cost you a few hundred dollars for an hour or so of time. Have your questions ready when you go in. If she already has an attorney, you just need to decide which one you’re hiring versus whether to get one or not. Otherwise you’ve already lost more than you should. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/25 07:42 PM |
| 4 | Should I leave home?I agree OP should not leave. He needs to discuss this with a lawyer first. However, and especially at the stage, there’s no benefit to anyone of expressing your last sentence. All that’s going to do is inflame the situation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/07/25 10:56 AM |
| 2 | Is Alimony permanent?If your divorce is not final yet, it may be something that is possibly still open for negotiation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/25 10:27 AM |
| 1 | Financial trouble AFTER the divorceUnless she and the lawyer realize that the agreement was breached and it’s better to go ahead and deal with it. Otherwise, OP should get his attorney involved again. Depending on the relationship with the attorney, he may give OP a yay or nay, on whether it’s worth pursuing without a new contract. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/25 10:57 PM |
| 3 | Financial trouble AFTER the divorceMaybe let her attorney know that she mishandled the finances as spelled out in the agreement. You can let her attorney know that you expect to be reimbursed for her credit card payments and any fines or interest due to late utility payments. Make it clear what you expect and that if it’s not paid you will involve your lawyer and then sue for legal fees and damages to your credit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/25 06:51 PM |
| 3 | Struggling this week - found out she is dating and has formally moved onI’m so sorry you’re having to deal with all of this. There are some parallels to my situation as well, so I can sympathize and empathize. My wife and I are doing collaborative divorce. Unlike working with just a mediator, you each have your own advocate, but it is much less at this area than standard divorce. With your situation, you may want to contact an attorney and see what your options are considering her behavior. Best wishes, hope you feel the brotherhood behind you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/04/25 11:59 PM |
| 7 | Need opinions of divorced menI always find it interesting when someone throws a time limit on something like this. It’s not like someone is magically OK after a certain amount of time. It is very situational. Some people realize their marriage is over long before they divorce which means they’ve gone through several stages of the grieving process before anything is signed. Others never get over it. You can ask a lot of questions. But, unfortunately, the only way to determine this is through spending time with the person in … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/25 07:22 PM |
| 5 | Alimony paid to lower wage earning husband in CaliforniaAlthough, any amount would be considered a win in my opinion. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/25 05:45 PM |
| 2 | What would be your reaction if your daughters do the same thing to their future husbands?If I had heard, this 20 years ago, I would have laughed. That said, I am now in the process of divorcing my wife, whose parents were divorced and whose grandmother left her grandfather, but never divorced. Sister-in-law is also divorced… Hesitant to say it it’s purely genetic, but there’s something going on there and I don’t think it’s all learned to behavior. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/01/25 02:01 AM |
| 3 | Why ex-wives act "fine" after a divorceThe reason to suspect the chasm is from my personal experience, and I suspect the experience of a fair number of men here. The wife even told me when we were dating she had to hold up appearances when she was young so people would think her family was perfect when looking in. I was naïve enough to think that that didn’t apply to me, fast forward way too many years and come to find out it does. Thus the reason I am on r/Divorce_Men… The point to consider is if they’re acting at some point that wi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/25 04:44 PM |
| 0 | Why ex-wives act "fine" after a divorceI guess the distinction there is acting fine versus being fine. There is a deep chasm between the two. Also a pretty simple explanation … Ask me how I know … | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/25 03:59 PM |
| 3 | Separation = divorce?I am currently separated and plan to divorce. My state requires a one year separation first. When I started telling people about my situation, I was absolutely dumbfounded at how many people told me they had separated from their spouse and then reconciled. If your wife wants this, she should be the one that leaves the house. Otherwise work it out with your therapist and move forward. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/24 01:28 AM |
| 1 | Wife with Borderline Personality DisorderI actually DO understand. I’m guessing (not clearly saying) that you don’t have kids. It sounds like OP was mainly concerned about his kids. That being the case most dads would sacrifice themselves to keep their children from being scarred from mom’s issues. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 07:12 PM |
| 3 | Wife with Borderline Personality DisorderI agree, provided OP gets custody, otherwise the kids loose the buffer between them and mom. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 03:26 PM |
| 4 | I can't believe my 4 years of life savings are gone just like that...I fall into the reversed roles scenario. I’m guessing she feels about me like the OP does about his wife. Although, she sounds pretty selfish, and that is different from my situation. So not exactly parallel to OP story. Biggest thing to remember is there is always my side, her side and then the REAL story. You can’t go back and change anything you just have to move forward. It doesn’t help to try and think why someone else is doing something. You need to spend your energy for your benefit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/24 03:56 PM |
| 3 | Ex sent me this tonightGoing to an ever deeper level… Things could be perfectly fine for her but really crappy for the kids when they are with her rather than dad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/24 07:46 PM |
| 1 | Ex-wife wants me to not dateWhile I agree with your points, in my state both parties MUST have separate dwellings (different addresses)for one year before a divorce. Many folks draft a separation agreement before or during this time as to who gets to stay in the house and custody of kids, who pays what bills etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 12:26 PM |
| 1 | Ex-wife wants me to not dateMany states in the US require a year of separation before a divorce is granted. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 10:13 AM |
| 2 | Anyone else think about "switching teams"?You obviously have a different relationship with your grandma than I do… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/24 07:52 PM |
| 2 | My marriage is no longer viable, but divorce will ruin me financially. Am I trapped?Also, do some one on one therapy for yourself. I’m older than you and my child is 18 and in college so no custody issues. Recently separated and started one year wait for divorce. It is a definite financial hit but the clarity in my life now is invaluable. ETA: if you can get happiness and clarity with your wife that’s great if not then do whatever you need to do to get it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/24 11:20 AM |
| 3 | Need Help Shaking the JealousyAgree with most of this statement, however I wouldn’t say you have a date even if you did. It’s none of her business. The sooner you can get to a point of business only for the divorce and dealing with the kids the better mental space you’ll be in. Let her be the bitchy, braggy ex and you take the high road. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/24 02:40 AM |
| 3 | What are some if the red flags in the beginning of the relationship that you missed?So many of the items listed hit home… To add a couple more. Every living female in her family was divorced or separated. Absolutely no contact with her father. Never met him in person and she was upset when I talked to him on the phone when he called trying to patch things up with her. She told me he was a serial cheater, but think it was actually one woman. After her becoming more like her mom I understood him a bit better. He remarried and lived with her (till passing) longer than 1st wife. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/24 01:02 AM |
| 1 | Struggling with STBXW’s glow-upBest wishes on your journey! | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/07/24 11:44 AM |
| 1 | Struggling with STBXW’s glow-upAlso, look at Jordan Peterson’s “12 Rules for Life”. A quick read and easy first step is “Make your bed” by Admiral William McRaven | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/07/24 08:46 AM |
| 2 | Struggling with STBXW’s glow-upThe most attractive woman is the one that makes you a better man. It doesn’t matter what other people notice when they look at her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/07/24 08:38 AM |
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