Final straw

coleraineyid · 2026-06-27T10:35:16+00:00

8 years without sex

cleanstart2026 · 2026-06-27T01:06:28+00:00

When the disrespect came in

mockg · 2026-06-26T23:58:14+00:00

When my wife got addicted to pickleball and started spending all of our free time playing. We have been separated 3 weeks and I have had more free time now than during the entire 4 years since we have had our kid.

The final last straw was a conversation where she said I have no hobbies, no likes, no dislikes, and no feelings. I yelled I need space as it was very hurtful and walked away. She then kicked me out of the house. The first week staying at the hotel felt like a weight was lifted off of me. Also helped that she said some very nasty things to me and I made sure to keep all of my responses very respectful.

AdditionalFlamingo64 · 2026-06-26T22:12:00+00:00

You are not happy. Will things change. Love is just loving another person. It is making change that benefit the relationship.

ThatSeemsPlausible · 2026-06-26T21:56:20+00:00

“Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay” by Mira Kirshenbaum is a straightforward read to help evaluate this kind of decision. It is a series of questions, with a discussion following each one around what decision you may want to make based on your answer. If nothing else, it can help pinpoint a specific issue to work on, or to decide that it is time to end things.

Bagman220 · 2026-06-26T21:31:47+00:00

I found out that one of the kids wasn’t biologically mine. Infidelity could be excused, but raising a child as a result of infidelity is where I drew the line. I kept the kid, got rid of the wife. Currently have full custody of all the kids including the non biological kid too.

bigdipboy · 2026-06-26T21:20:08+00:00

When my alcoholic wife expanded from just abusing me to also abusing our toddler

badGamr · 2026-06-26T21:02:20+00:00

When she viciously smashed my favorite guitar while I was sleeping and left the remains strategically placed for me to find as soon as I got up in the morning. I did my morning ablutions and then went into our bedroom and packed her bags and set them outside the front door. I removed her house keys, credit cards that were shared and the checkbook from her purse. I called a cab and then I woke her up and carried her outside and set her on the curb while she was half asleep.

Then I called a lawyer. She never even questioned any of my actions that morning. She knew it was done. The next time I saw her was in a courtroom. While the guitar was my favorite it was still just a guitar and easily replaced. Her actions that night were all I needed to understand what the message was she wanted to send.

FadedPolaroidSmile · 2026-06-26T20:47:49+00:00

When she leveraged accusations of "emotional abuse" against me to justify her behavior. I tolerated a lot and worked hard to reconcile, to keep our family together. But to be accused of abuse? After 16 years of marriage, completely supporting her? There was no coming back from that.

Dangerous-Yam2894 · 2026-06-26T19:51:16+00:00

When I realized that she didn’t want to work on us and was not only out of love with me but also resenting me for not giving her another baby. That and she was spending 10k a month. It was cheaper to finally cut her off but it’s been a big expensive long divorce. Still, the longer I would have waited the more it would have cost me. Also I not nearly as depressed as I was back then. Still healing though.

Hog-Switchkey · 2026-06-26T19:45:08+00:00

I couldn't load the dishwasher correctly and I would leave the refrigerator door open too long. You know, all of that important stuff. She suppresses her childhood, not my words but hers. Childhood trauma changes a person's personality.

Rare_Psychology_8853 · 2026-06-26T19:40:41+00:00

When I realized I was constantly having to choose between my own happiness and his. So he wouldn’t get a job so that I could take a lower paying job. (He has no job.) He wouldnt put our house building plans on hold for a year so that I could get my certification and switch to a less stressful job.

I was constantly choosing his happiness over mine. They seemed mutually exclusive. In order to make him happy, I had to sacrifice myself. And he did not even appreciate it. He constantly complained. Had he been appreciative, I think I could have continued to sacrifice. But he wasn’t. It was like living like a slave to someone who did not even like me, maybe even hated me.

We didn’t get a divorce but I was prepared for it. I quit my job against his wishes. I did this knowing he would be angry. I had already tried for 2 years to reach a decision together, to negotiate, to compromise. He wouldn’t come to the table and negotiate. It was his way or nothing. So when I felt like I was going to break beneath the stress, I quit. And he was angry. We are still working through it. But if he said “either go back to your old job, or divorce” I would choose divorce. I’ve seen what happens to me when I give myself up for him. If he refuses to get a job by the end of the year, I will be filing for divorce. I am done being his slave and being taken for granted. Marriage is meant to be a partnership. Life is too short to wake up every morning hating my life and feeling like my self-worth is constantly being flattened by the person who is supposed to love me more than anyone else.

bigt · 2026-06-26T19:20:54+00:00

When I was on a group text with her, my sister, my brother, and my dying mother (who did die a few weeks later), and she texted me on the side to ask to be removed from the thread because she doesn't like my brother.

I talked with my therapist about it, and we just have a fundamental difference: When I have a problem with someone, I either deal with it or I don't... but I treat them like I would treat anybody else. When she has a problem with someone, she cuts them out of her life. My therapist said if she's been like this as long as I've known her, she'll probably never change.

I realized that this was one of the many values of mine that we differed on that was a dealbreaker. I didn't want to grow old with someone who treated people (including me) like this.

leaving4me · 2026-06-26T19:10:26+00:00

When it became more expensive to my mental health than my bank account to try and make it work any longer.

Big_Action2476 · 2026-06-26T19:05:21+00:00

Realizing she didn’t give a shit about me. Always put herself first. Sounds bad but I met someone that showed me more kindness in the first hour of meeting them than I had experienced in 15yrs.

StoicSchwanz · 2026-06-26T19:03:56+00:00

My wife was completely irresponsible with money, like bankruptcy bad. The fact that she could also be incredibly rude and mean to me didn't help. My last straw was when she decided to be super impatient and rude to me while I was sick. I didn't rush out to the store to pick up her meds fast enough for her. I didn't get angry - I just didn't care any more. I saw a lawyer two days later and 3 months after I am divorced.

Title	Final straw
Author	DilfEnrg
Upvotes	10
Comments	31
Date	June 26, 2026 6:54 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ugfkx4/final_straw/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/final-straw.1583670 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583670

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