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Dangerous-Yam2894 Archive

View 0 posts and 58 comments by Dangerous-Yam2894 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

No sex for three years? Why does she even care if you cheat. She obviously doesn’t like you as a person but either likes controlling you or needs you in some other way. You need to figure out what you want and enjoy life. Sorry but I’m not sure what’s worth holding onto with this person.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/26 03:16 PM
23

You are being used. Protect yourself and children from this person.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/26 04:09 AM
1

Yup. My wife just fell out love with and “wasn’t feeling it”. I said ok, tried harder. Didn’t work. I didn’t always “feel it” but I worked my butt off for 20 years to build our future and she just blew it up to go on her next life adventure on my dime and destroy our family and child’s secure loving home.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 09:50 PM
9

I have the same issue in Illinois. I own a biz. Ex never worked. One kid. She wants 80/20 custody to maximize child support to live off. She thought she could also get the house but she is not on the loan and no way a bank will give her one with no job history or income to refinance. I am very confident I will get 50/50. Just hold your ground and do not engage with this person any more except through lawyers. Text thread about kids only. Dont take any bait. Keep moving and go for walks. Expect t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 08:47 PM
5

Move. Go for at least a long walk every morning. Depression hates a moving target.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 11:25 AM
3

You can afford a lawyer. She will pay for it if you are jobless and stay at home parent. Lawyer up asap. The first motion they make will get them paid and possibly pay off down those credit cards too. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 06:18 PM
2

I had the same experience as you. Relationships should not be “hard” by definition. Finding the right partner should make everything feel lighter and easier. Teamwork should make you feel bigger than yourself solo. Not sure many people are capable of this but I have a small amount of hope still.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 03:29 PM
6

Yes. It’s why I couldn’t make it work and divorced my ex wife. She was a covert narcissist and used DARVO and FOG against me masterfully. Until I almost completely lost my sense of self did I finally wake up to stopping trying to please her and make her happy.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 11:55 PM
3

It was either that or quitting all together. I’ve been depressed for 6 years but finally coming out of it. Riding my bike, walking, and just moving in general has been the cure. Depression hates a moving target. Good luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 03:02 PM
3

I filed for divorce over 4 years ago. She is living on the first floor of my two flat and dragging it out. Final court date is supposedly in Oct. I CANT WAIT!!
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 02:56 PM
5

I own a two flat. Soon to be ex wife has been living on the 1st floor for over 4 years and is dragging out the divorce. Yes, I filed 4 years ago. I hate being home even though I don’t see her and can’t wait for her to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 02:54 PM
4

This was my experience too. It destroyed me. I’m so so sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 02:52 PM
1

Patterns are patterns some times. I notice men often seem blindsided and women take their time planning their exit. There is some inherent communication issues in those relationships, the majority. I agree there are plenty of outliers but I’m old enough and have seen enough relationships to not dismiss the patterns. It’s human nature at some point.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 10:10 PM
2

Agree to focus on yourself and what you can control to make things better. But with no mutual understanding it’s too hard to trust partners these days. If they decide to not work on the relationship you are stuck. I definitely don’t mean to label all women but these issues come up regularly here and I see a lot of withholding (not working on the relationship and looking elsewhere) in the women divorce sub just waiting to plan their exit. It’s a fairly common pattern.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 06:03 PM
1

Most of your points here point to the same thing OP was discussing. The fact that women act on their emotions more often than not in relationships. Maybe he could have been more available to ride the emotional rollercoaster, and maybe, just maybe, that would have worked, but what really happens in my experience with that scenario is that you become manipulated by your partners emotions and yours never get seen. You are asking OP to adapt to his partners but missing the fact that he was willing b…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 04:46 PM
4

“Slave to their emotions” has been my experience as well. Logic and thinking long term just doesn’t work and modern therapy just tells everyone to be happy in the present. This we have people cutting off 10+ year marriages and friendships like tossing an empty water bottle in the trash. I’m dumbfounded as well. It’s not just relationships, families have broken down as well.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 03:03 PM
4

Some of this sounded a lot like my experience. My ex wife seemed madly in love with me forever. But after she got pregnant during Covid she was an anxious mess and miserable. She seemed to just fall out of love with me gradually and it never came back. She just focused on the kid and 4 years of therapy didn’t seem to help at all. I sorry but sometimes people change but are comfortable in their life. She is probably still your friend but no longer your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 02:30 PM
5

In over 4 years. Trial date set in October. Her day of reckoning is near!
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 08:05 PM
3

You are giving that money away for free. Let her use credit. The judge will have you pay it off later but it will come out of the settlement. Support your child when they are with you. You have a long road ahead of you and need to bear down.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 06:16 PM
3

Get a lawyer. Dont give her a dime until it’s court ordered. This is your adversary for now until forever. I’m sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 03:31 PM
2

Sounds like you married my wife. She was also trying to baby trap me with another kid to avoid work.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 08:56 PM
7

When I realized that she didn’t want to work on us and was not only out of love with me but also resenting me for not giving her another baby. That and she was spending 10k a month. It was cheaper to finally cut her off but it’s been a big expensive long divorce. Still, the longer I would have waited the more it would have cost me. Also I not nearly as depressed as I was back then. Still healing though.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 07:51 PM
5

I tried to make less money last year and still made more than ever. I run my own biz. The ex is reaping the rewards.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 03:16 AM
2

I started my own business at 17 years old and worked 7 days a week for 15 years and 6 days a week for another 5. She jumped on at the tail 5 and is reaping the rewards after “falling out of love with me”. It’s a bad deal for me for sure and she barely spends any money on my kid.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 10:43 PM
5

Not when I make 350k and she never got a job! She is living very comfortably on the child support alone..
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 04:23 PM
2

I think I need to forgive but it’s hard. Maybe I could one day but am so angry for my son still. He deserves to have a family unit. My ex made life living hell because I wasn’t ready to give her another child. She burned down the family we had for the family she wanted, and just couldn’t wait and work on us. I get why she did it and can forgive her because she is human and obviously had mental issues at the time postpartum, hormones and all. But my son. It’s hard. I guess he won’t ever know anyt…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 04:27 PM
8

I get it man. My divorce is going on over 4 years. One day at a time. Depression hates a moving target so don’t sit and wallow. At least go for a walk.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 11:21 PM
12

The checkout is a huge trap because time cost money. Once you realize and try to fix it and put in the work, years have gone by and you are even more financially devastated. That is part of the trap. I have no idea how some people can stay in a loveless relationship just for comfort. These people have no spine.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 10:30 PM
12

Female lawyer wrote up a parenting plan giving my narcissistic ex full authority on all choices. I immediately fired her. She said she put it that way to give us more leverage in mediation. Nuts.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 05:50 PM
3

It’s like a debtors prison. They banned those long ago..
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 07:47 PM
3

More importantly there should be no assumption that all money is everyone’s money unless it is in a shared account. Men and women should be able to work for themselves and then choose to provide/share what they want to the family. When splitting they should not be penalized and forced to provide beyond that for anyone else but children.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 07:07 PM
5

I never agreed. She had a breakdown after the marriage and moving. Never went back to work. I was getting older and wanted to have a kid so we did. She just never went back to work. I begged and begged. She just doom scrolled all day. I filed for divorce and am paying the price for trusting her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 04:50 PM
2

Your wife wants out. My wife saw a google search I did “can I keep the house if I cheated on my wife”. We had already been separated for a year and living apart. I explained I just searched in the past tense because I was considering dating as I was so lonely. She withheld the fact that she saw it for over 8 months in counseling and then brought it up when her back was against the wall to start making effort in the marriage. She withheld it as a weapon and didn’t really want to work on things. I…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 02:23 PM
3

That’s the funny thing. I see my kid everyday. He demands to see me. But she has custody and is going for 90/10 split. So on paper I have nothing as of yet. And no overnights, that’s key..
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 02:31 AM
8

I haven’t looked my ex in the eye for 4 years. She lives below me and is dragging the divorce out…4 years and I still don’t have any custody of my kid and I pay all her bills. It’s a state sponsored nightmare.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 06:04 PM
7

You should be entitled to alimony and child support if you get 50/50 custody. Draw out the separation date as long as you can for max alimony. You are not screwing her over. You are entitled to it and the money will help you get on your feet and take care of your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 12:09 AM
2

I’ve realized that the women in my life have only taken on the whole, not given. I’ve never had a real partnership. I also have a bad picker. I’m much happier alone. I love my peace.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:31 PM
3

He’s not attracted to his wife anymore for numerous reasons. That’s a major concern for men who wish to stay monogamous and loyal. I think you need to stop placing blame on OP automatically. Sex is important to men and so is having a partner and not dead weight. OP deserves support and help, not fishing for blame and playing the “it’s only about sex card”. Ridiculous and childish.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 11:52 PM
2

She let herself go. Doesn’t work. And has no motivation to change. And he sucks? Please explain how you can assume this? Women don’t even need a reason to be unhappy or leave a relationship. And you blame OP…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 11:18 PM
17

Implying that OP is the cause of their depression and responsible for fixing it is the same emotionally abusive crap most men in this sub can sense a mile away.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 10:23 PM
3

Lock up any money that you can and cancel joint accounts. You will have to help pay off her debt but the judge will often take that out of her settlement and stop the bleeding for you. Take it one step at a time with your attorney and find someone who’s been through it to talk to. Therapy may help but divorce moves so slow there isn’t much new to talk about in therapy each week.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 07:29 PM
3

She is called your ex or soon to be ex wife.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 03:24 PM
2

True. Her reply was often centered around financial abuse. I am in therapy and dealing with my demanding attitude ;)
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 02:58 PM
2

I’m soon to be divorced and happy to take responsibility. I filed for the divorce. I can’t wait to get away from this abusive relationship. My responsibility is that I loved and tried to help this women, missed all the flags when I was young, and gave her complete control of the post marriage relationship. I was a prisoner and now I paying (happily) to get her away from me. But yeah, raised my voice a few times and asked her to get a job for 10 years so yeah I could have been nicer and spoiled h…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 02:41 PM
7

Sounds like your sister has mental problems and is projecting to make herself feel better. It’s a classic move to be a “man/women hater” these days when you yourself are complete trash. I think the most important lesson to teach our kids to be emotionally safe is help them identify selfish and manipulative people.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 02:57 PM
14

Lawyer up. That home is yours or she needs to buy you out. Alimony for years my man. Take half of everything. Don’t let these women use you. Edit. Go for as much custody as you can to see your kids and for those dollars too. Offer her every other weekend to start. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 02:13 AM
1

The longer you wait the more it will cost you financially. The divorce will take at least 1-2yrs so I would file asap and if miraculously things change you end the divorce proceedings. Dont be fooled. Women buy time, my divorce is going on 4yrs and I wish I filed sooner because she is dragging it out forever and won’t leave and start a new life.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 04:43 PM
9

I feel the same. Worked 25 years to build my business and prepare for a family. Narcissistic wife destroyed the marriage after 5 years and everything else I had built out of pure selfishness. Not worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 11:49 PM
1

I filed for divorce because I made the mistake of marrying her. I know I made a mistake, my love for her couldn’t fix her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 06:21 PM
4

My ex is fighting for 80/20. It’s all about the $$$. If she can’t live off your money maybe she is reconsidering…don’t fall for it. Stay strong. This person is not your friend trying to use your children against you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 02:20 AM
7

If she was locked up in an institution and I was safe from her I could maybe play along.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 02:17 AM
4

Early stages so you are confused. But be prepared for this person to become your worst enemy and villain in your story. I would start setting boundaries, strict ones, now.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 05:22 PM
3

“The right one” should bring you peace and joy and not fear obligation or guilt. I’m not sure if these people exist anymore. I’m jaded and just happy being alone. Society has gone to shit imo in the last 15 years and everyone is a train wreck for the most part.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:51 PM
3

Therapy during engagement and non stop during the marriage. I’d say from that fact alone she’s not the right one. Tough pill to swallow, especially with two young kids. Sorry buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 01:29 PM
2

Sounds like she is listening to her lawyer or other women teaching her how to get paid. She is now your mortal enemy. I’m sorry. Protect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 02:54 PM
1

If she is writing off non business expenses to reduce her business income I would get a forensic accountant and check that business history going back as far as possible. You need a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 01:54 PM
3

50/50 gives her the most child support. She is playing you for $$$. Get a lawyer asap. Don’t move out. Cancel joint credit cards asap!
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 01:49 PM
4

When ask is it worth it you need to realize that the financial burden will only get worse the longer you stay married unless you plan on drastically reducing your income over the next few years in preparation. Good luck. It’s a tough spot to be in. I finally ripped the bandaid after trying to fix my marriage and it cost me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 06:12 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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