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leaving4me Archive

View 3 posts and 175 comments by leaving4me on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

And it's not just preparing documents in the proper format with the proper content with proper details, it's also knowing the Rules of Civil Procedure and having a working relationship with the judge or magistrate and knowing their expected tendencies.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 07:28 PM
8

Never considered it really. To me it was just used stuff and overall not worth a large fight over. I simply chose a few items that I wanted or were important to me.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 02:22 PM
2

How is she looking to modify custody? If you are saying that he gets 75% of the time and she only gets every other weekend and that eliminated him paying CS....then yes.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 06:20 PM
6

When it became more expensive to my mental health than my bank account to try and make it work any longer.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 07:10 PM
3

I didn't think there were hidden assets and my untrained eye thought the financial affidavit was on the up and up. It turns out she was hiding "valueless shares" in the company she works for and not every dollar on her tax returns were accounted for properly. In my case the discovery process was more worth it than I could have ever known, but I endured 4 days of trial. The worse case scenario is she doesn't want to go through the expense and it pushes an agreement quicker.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 01:17 PM
3

What she's doing doesn't matter to anyone but you and she knows it. The only consequence from it will be in your reaction so don't play her game and lose your composure. For what it's worth its rare for someone to just flip a switch like that. It's likely been going on already and now she's showing it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 11:49 AM
18

Please remove head from ass. First, she was cheating before you found out. Let her make bad decisions in your favor as you can never stop her from dating anyone, regardless of your children. Get the deal she is offing sign sealed and delivered by the court like yesterday before she realizes she's giving away the farm.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 01:14 PM
2

Your state is equitable distribution state. It may not divide assets directly down the middle, but it will do it fairly. Consult an attorney and they should be able to paint a picture of what your specific situation may look like based on the outcomes of similar cases in your area. My recommendation to you is to fight for your time as 1 of 2 parents your daughter has and don't give that up because your STBXW makes more money than you or provides the insurance. Fight for your child and let the co…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 08:14 PM
2

She doesn't view you as a partner or equal. She doesn't respect you, but she doesn't hate you either.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 08:05 PM
10

My brother, there is a high likelihood she has already chosen your replacement. Don't allow the backpedal. Plan your path forward with your attorney that doesn't allow her to inequitably ride your coat tails because she failed to think it through thoroughly. It's no longer your problem.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 07:35 PM
3

The longer you wait the harder and more expensive it will be to move on. You aren't wrong for wanting to trade in exhaustion for a chance at a better life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 01:08 PM
1

People are adults and can make decisions for themselves. Telling others who that should or shouldn't be friends with is a bad look IMO, not matter how rotten your ex is. In my experience, my ex gave mutual friends ultimatums and she lost friends. She also tried to buddy up to some there only my friends as social events and they poked fun at her after she walked away. These things have a way of sorting themselves out and if not you have the ability to shape your circle how you see fit.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 03:54 PM
4

The minute she filed amicable was out the window. Not sure of your state, but asset division, support, and custody has a baseline for your jurisdiction. This is normally how it goes unless there are circumstances. The bigger question is how much will it cost you to get there. And sorry about the CC debt, unfortunately that's half yours too.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 08:42 PM
23

You may look into a reversal. You may also consider a therapist. You have money and a good job, but lack of confidence = lack of women.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 08:09 PM
0

Reread the words you wrote.....I need to get her to agree to it. She has a lawyer that likely will push her to not agree to anything that isn't in her favor and by that statement alone you DON"T agree on everything. Further, while she has an attorney and you do not. You are in a gun fight and you only brought a knife..
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 08:05 PM
3

It depends on where you are located and what your intent is. If you are located in a no fault state you would just be burning resources for nothing more than your own satisfaction, and to that point if you are intent enough and wise enough you can catch her on your own. If you are in a fault state and need evidence for your case I would consult your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 07:33 PM
2

Your divorced. The lies she tells others or herself really doesn't matter....especially if they all know she is full of shit anyways. The best thing to do with a dishonest attention seeker is to get them none.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 03:07 PM
1

It was the worst part of the entire thing and dealing with the ex is still a miserable struggle. That said, reinforce to them it is not their fault. Make every day a point to show them they are loved and cared for just the same as if you were to remain together.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 03:11 PM
9

My ex wanted the same thing. We went to trial...4 days of it to be precise. You know what happened? Shared parenting and 50-50 asset split settlement before it was left for the judge to decide. Don't even entertain that bullshit. Just set the trial date now.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 04:21 PM
2

Don't fight over things that don't really matter, but the attorney you choose can make all of the difference in the world. My experience said that in my jurisdiction division of assets is pretty cut an dry and predictable in a court outcome. Shared parenting is the baseline for custody and you need a solid case to move off of that. A REPUTABLE attorney should be able to assess your case and formulate a fair settlement agreement from that. Don't waver from what is legit fair and don't waste time …
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 09:04 PM
3

Other than having a plan to deal with the apartment lease and having your income deposited into an account that is only yours it doesn't sound as you need much of an exit plan. There are always excuses to wait and it never gets easier the further down the road you go.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 07:32 PM
1

You would need to consult an attorney, but if the decree is final then you would be looking for contempt. Chances are if she is not following the decree now she won't start without some type of court intervention which will not happen unless you file a motion. As an editorial, why people attempt to dictate how their ex handles new relationships will forever be a mystery. Get over it. It's not yours or her place to give approval on who you date. The court won't even do that unless you can prove c…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 02:54 PM
1

My time with the kids is important, not necessarily the day. I too would have let the vaca go without a debate, but I would have also requested additional time on the trade off. In my jurisdiction there is a holiday schedule provided by the court that is default in the event the parties can't agree so there is generally no need for extra verbage for these things.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 02:19 PM
6

She's not entitled to anything more than she's earned or the law allows for and it's no longer your responsibility to provide for her lifestyle. Everyone would like some nicer things than what they have, that's life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 12:04 PM
1

You are going to share the assets and debt acquired during the marriage. This may mean selling assets to pay off the debts and then splitting the balance....positive or negative.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 08:56 PM
5

So here is the deal. You are going to split the assets and spit the debt. You won't erase child or spousal support of they are legally warranted. If your state is no fault they won't care about the cheating. In the mean time you should most certainly hire a REPUTABLE attorney and let them advise you. For as many things as you may be able fix (debt) in 2 years she will equally be able to break them even further. This includes your mental and emotional health. The process is expensive and difficul…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 07:43 PM
5

News flash...she was with dude prior to asking for the separation. That aside, if you can come to an agreement amicably it will be binding once signed off by the judge, but plan to protect yourself. These are all business decisions now and when your idea and her idea of what is fair don't line up amicable fades very quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 02:25 PM
11

This seems to be a common progression and the sudden changes of demeanor tend to happen when the 3rd party is involved. The 3rd was likely running in the background well prior to the separation.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 11:55 AM
11

They seem more the result of a marriage that already died.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 02:34 PM
4

It is stressful and overwhelming when you are in the middle of it. Keep your eye on the prizes at the end of the battle.....being a kick ass dad to the best of your ability and building a new life that is yours and not what someone else wants you to be. When you start to realize the benefits and improved mental health from not living in the oppressed state you realize the money is a smaller part of it than it seems right now. And, and simply put....divorces are expensive for a reason. It's becau…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 06:59 PM
1

Never, ever, ever let your kids see your disdain for their mother regardless of how much you feel she deserves it. Your relationship with her has changed. It is now a business transaction and you MUST treat it as such. The times of niceties are fake and you need to protect yourself for the process you are about to endure. You need to figure out a way to maintain control moving forward or this type of behavior will bite you in the ass and she will use it against you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 01:07 PM
5

Be the first to act with filing. 3 years is relatively short so alimony will be minimal at best. Line up your proof of pre-marital possessions as she is not likely to be granted any interest in them. She is only entitled to assets that were acquired during the marriage. Her activities will mean nothing if you live in a no fault state. Otherwise line up your proof of infidelity. She will fight to gain what is not lawfully hers and it will cost you money to fight her. Don't give her a fucking thin…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 09:02 PM
2

Hurry and get paperwork signed and filed while she is agreeable to just walk away. She is lovestruck by her side piece and you can use that to your advantage if you act quickly enough.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 02:41 PM
2

You don't tell us how much equity was in the home or the total value of any of the other assets so it is impossible to say how you really did. The fact remains that in most jurisdictions marital assets are divided equally (without consideration for spousal support or child support). Then there are attorney fees to consider. If you got close to an even split on the actual value of the marital assets (regardless of specific items you wanted), then that is what should have happened in the first pla…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 06:14 PM
2

I'm in Ohio, which is a no fault state, so here it wouldn't make a difference. For you, it seems it may. Put together your evidence. for blocking alimony. If it were me, I probably wouldn't pursue a 3rd party in a lawsuit. It could be expensive and gain little. Plus, in the end she is the dirty bastard. They are just taking what she's giving.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 01:04 PM
5

My ex was the higher earner....and a cheater. I too attempted to work through the first episode she admitted to only to realize that those behaviors continued on her work trips. I would work and take care of the home and kids while she traveled weekly. She wanted to keep full custody and all of the marital assets when I finally left. Seek out a REPUTABLE attorney, female may help if that aligns. It certainly didn't hurt my case having a female advocate for me in court against a shitty female. Se…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 12:17 PM
2

You said in the comments that you expect conflict in the proceedings. My advice is to spend the money on the most reputable attorney you can find (notice I said reputable not necessarily expensive) that you are comfortable to work with after a consultation. Family law attorneys, or any really, do not become reputable without experience or by not having consistently fair outcomes. Your hope for the outcome may not align with fair, but they will set expectations of what the outcome should be and m…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 08:44 PM
14

Some people just don't care. 2. Some people don't want to deal with the hassle. 3. Some people wish to have the same last name as their kids. Who fucking cares what name they have. It doesn't effect you life in any way. Additionally, there are other people in this world that carry the same name that you've never met so it's not even like you are a 1 off.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 02:33 PM
6

It's no surprise a divorced women's sub would have postings like this. I'm sure there are as many as there is here from men. That said, these are words from a persona who should never have married the person she did to begin with....or never gotten married at all. It sure sounds as if she did it for every reason but the right one.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 03:51 PM
1

I had to fight for shared custody because she felt I was entitled to none and anything other than her way escalated an argument. She was the higher earner. That said, NOT being a coparent because you are to afraid of the confrontation with her is MORE damaging to the kids than being involved and present to help parent the kids. Twice a month "visitation" and video calls is chickenshit nonsense unless you've been a bad enough human that the courts won't afford you your parental rights. It's time …
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 10:06 PM
5

My ex was amicable to separate and through a lengthy separation while we attempted to work through the financial and custody details. Amicable as long as she was in total control of the kids and 100% of the marital assets that is. I offered 50/50 on the kids and a sweetheart deal on the assets to move on, but that didn't meet her absolutes, so I filed. She didn't return to amicable until day 4 of trial when her wishes and reality collided in front of a judge and I retained far more of the marita…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 01:21 PM
1

1 year together, how long post divorce? As a divorced male I still believe that there is a forever person out there for each of us. I also feel that the older we get the better we are able to define what that person is. I, for one, can define it much better now than in my 20's or early 30's. That said, the need to protect himself is understandable. But in this case, by your words, I sense that he probably isn't ready for that type of commitment.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 07:16 PM
2

In most municipalities you have to be a resident of the state and county for a period of time prior to filing, 6 months where I am. That said, get a reputable family law attorney like yesterday. Provide them with accurate, honest, and complete information and let them assess your situation. Many courts these days, depending on where you reside, favor shared parenting and they do not like to take away custody/parenting time unless there are proven reasons to for what is best for the kids. There w…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 06:53 PM
3

When you learn about the nasty things your ex said about you behind your back BEFORE the divorce to these people you begin to see the benefit of purging some of these people from your life. They can say and think what they want and it just doesn't matter.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 01:13 PM
5

No one, not even men like to admit when they are the problem.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 03:00 PM
3

Child support does more than help with the expenses of raising a child. It allows the child to experience a similar lifestyle with both parents. There is nothing worse than having a child prefer one parent over the other simply due to material things....toys, luxuries, etc because the other parent is struggling with limited finances due to a great imbalance. File for the support and don't think for a second if the script was flipped she wouldn't do the same.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 02:07 PM
2

I'm a rare success story of dating while in the middle of a divorce. My separation was lengthy and everything worked out with my kids and in my currently relationship, but I will tell you that there were difficult times in the process. As the actually divorce began and drew near to a close the less accepting my ex became of the current situation (and she was a cheater), manipulation of the kids, and then there was the anger and frustration of my current partner at the situation. While there may …
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 02:14 PM
4

She was the higher earner. I walked away netting my investment into that 15 year marriage after a needless and expensive battle that cost her far more then I. It was the experience and wisdom of those around me that kept me grounded in making smart business-like decisions rather than fighting out of emotion.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 12:59 PM
8

She wants to attempt to manipulate you into agreeing to unfavorable terms without the presence of your attorney or set you up in some other way. Keep communication to text/email or through your attorney unless they advise otherwise for good reason.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 07:26 PM
2

Here is the thing....if she wants to make it miserable and drag it out the only way to really and that is get a trial date sooner rather than later. If she's doing that it will be expensive for both of you and most of the time they stop short of trial because the state will split the assets the way they always do and her attorney will know this and it doesn't matter what state you are in. I filed late September with a trial date set for early June. She ran it into trial that was continued becaus…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 09:39 PM
8

You NEVER give up on your kids...even when they are young adults. The wife....well there may be a time she needs to go kick rocks. Now might be that time, but don't just give things you are entitled to because that's what she wants...and that includes the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 08:49 PM
2

If she is set on this fighting it will only cause more pain and cost. That said, you have equal rights to parent the children (shared parenting) and for assets to be divided equitably between you. Child support is a calculation based on income, parenting time in over-nights and insurance. DO NOT under any circumstances give up on the things you are entitled to in order to make things easier, or cheaper, or with the thought she will see your effort and change her mind. If you do the assets you wi…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 08:27 PM
1

The county in which you live should have the documents available on their court website. Once you have everything together and completed you will go and file the documents. If anything is missing or needs modified they should advise you at that time. Then they will schedule your court appearance in front of the judge or magistrate the finalize the dissolution.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 02:33 PM
2

It's called parental alienation. It happens all too often out of spite and it is so very damaging to the kids. My divorce went 16 months after several years of failed dissolution attempts. It went all the way to trial. Trial was 4 days with a 6 month continuance after day 2 due to discovery issues by her. She agreed to shared parenting in the first half of trial. She begrudgingly entered a settlement because it was going badly for her before the end of day 4 went it would be in the judges hands.…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 03:10 PM
1

If you've endured a lengthy and highly contested process there may be reason to celebrate it being over. Not so much celebrating a failed relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 06:55 PM
4

A reputable attorney is best for legal advice. I attempted to look past the proclivities. I made it a little under 3 years until the true lack of trust became strong enough that I caught her again. The mental and emotional expense of living like that was high. The weight lifted off the day I left was like being able to breath again. A legal battle ensued and the kids were resilient.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 09:53 PM
1

8 Days from trial now. My attorney just filed motions to quash, for protective orders, and for sanctions. 84 pages in total when you include documentation and references. There were 7 subpoenas for discovery filed in addition to 2 attempts to depose my partner. 84 pages in total to illustrate to the judge how these people have no regard for the court's instructions and judgment entries and to show to the court her attempts to bleed me dry through legal fees. It was more in depth than the divorce…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 09:00 PM
5

It's not just that, It's the attorneys giving the profession a bad look. There are clear and basic rules of procedure that are intentionally being not followed and that leaves ethics to be questioned. You can be sure there will be a grievance filed with the state disciplinary board when this is over. My going away present.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 12:56 PM
1

I hope. January is gonna be expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 11:04 AM
2

Welp, I’ll probably have 20k in prep and trial if this goes the distance.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 11:03 AM
5

This has been a looong separation. Before I filed I was willing to walk away with about 1/3 of what the court will likely rule and no support and she still refused to even respond. Now she see’s this isn’t going to go in her favor and so she is attempting to weaponize the kids for money ATFER the trial has begun and AFTER she already agreed to terms in court. Now her attorney is issuing subpoenas and attempting to hold depositions long after the close of discovery, just 6 weeks before trial resu…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 10:55 PM
5

If you are in a no fault state it does not matter. Whether or not she chooses to fight doesn't matter either. You are protecting your mental health, your personal effects, and yourself from false claims against you. That is what matters here.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 08:49 PM
2

How long?
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 09:57 PM
4

While DV or substance abuse can impact an alimony award it's still largely based on income and income potential however they tend to calculate it in your jurisdiction. Female attorneys who are advocates for fairness to men can be a good thing, but ultimately there are good and bad attorneys of either sex and the key is to find a good attorney that is right for you and your situation.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 09:50 PM
6

Guys who are just looking for sex from an attractive woman do not care about ex husbands or kids. They are much more common to find for women than for a man to find women interested in the same.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 08:24 PM
2

The legal separation can preserve not only the status of being married, but health insurance, survivor benefits, and rights to inheritance. Not sure of your exact situation, but unless you have something to gain from her from a legal separation divorce is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 09:42 PM
1

My ex is the same way. She is the higher earner by far and expects to keep everything. We have made several offers that were well in her favor to start and she ignored them. Now we are offering chalk for my jurisdiction (50/50) and will not waiver as we are coming up on a 3 day trial scheduled. See....whatever you agree to give away to just get it over with you can never get it back. You don't get a do over so don't cost yourself more in agreeing than you would spend to fight for what you are en…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 09:04 PM
5

This just all depends on the circumstances. We are married going on 17 years with 2 kids. She thought she would keep full custody with no grounds, CS, and 100% of the assets. Now there is shared parenting, she will pay me CS, and I'm fighting for my fair share of about $750k in assets. She chose not to make a deal for me to walk away with about $150k and shared parenting w/no CS. At this point the fight is worth every penny.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 01:16 PM
5

Mine started with $5k retainer and $350 per hour. I'm 12 months and 40k in with a 3 day trial scheduled for January. She's the higher earner, by about 70% and her game was to try and run me out of money. We started trial in June and it got continued because she got caught hiding assets and lying on her financial affidavit. I've got shared parenting agreed to and the order is sitting with the judge waiting for trial completion or the rest of the agreement, but she is stubborn and stupid. My singl…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 12:02 PM
4

If you have no history af abuse or drug/alcohol addiction and you can show you follow your custody agreement then there is a low likelihood she can win full custody, but there isn't much you can do to stop her from trying if that's what she chooses to do. Just remember that whatever it will cost you to defend yourself it will cost her to try.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 02:59 PM
-2

I would not necessarily say incentive, but divorce tends to be more penal for males. Introduce kids or if the male is a much higher earner and that makes it even more so.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 12:14 PM
2

The only real advantage is that you control when and where the filing takes place. It is possible, really dependent upon the details of your specific circumstances, that there could be an advatage being the plantiff should you actually go to trial in that you get to state your case first and set the narrative. If you've gone so far without a settlement you've likely both lost alot in the battle regardless of the outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 06:00 PM
2

She wanted them because she put so much effort into alienating that she wanted them to say they want more time with her. The judge will never ask that. That’s behind me now, thankfully.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 11:39 PM
2

Oh they are seemingly going my way, and will even more so financially now. The dragging it out longer still sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 08:58 PM
1

Are you saying the judge did opposing counsel a favor? Maybe, but that attorney has been dishonest all along as well, and got busted for lying about some of the discovery issues.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 06:19 PM
3

For this trial it was only my attorney that got to question me about the kids prior to the agreement. Opposing council didn't get that far into cross. The judge wasn't asking questions. My ex was originally requested in camera interviews of my kids in place of a GAL, but the reality is that was unfounded and she knows it. It proved that way in temporary orders hearing and at trial so she buckled after the advice from the court that it prefers shared parenting and without proven abuse or similar …
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 06:18 PM
4

The only real way to peace is for 1 of you to move. 9 more months of this until the lease expires will likely become untenable....moreso than it already is at the expense of both of yours' mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 01:14 PM
1

You don't get a second chance at this. She's no longer on your side and it's a business transaction. Now go out there and get every last cent you are entitled to.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 08:36 PM
2

I'd suggest limiting communication to text and email for the foreseeable future. I got lucky in some aspects that I'm on the "rocket docket" due to the judge recusing themselve due to a COI with the opposing counsel. 8.5 months from filing to trial date, but this is unusaul. You can get it done faster if you can agree to terms on everything, but if you can't 12-24 months, but likely closer to 24 is more common.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 07:06 PM
14

Her attention was on another while she was making those original statements and that has likely ended....so here you are. If the marriage isn't working and it ends you will split the assets. That's most people's unfortunate reality of divorce and the higher earner will seemingly take the hit. Add kids and add support. As another stated, the longer you drag it out the more difficult and expensive it can get. It eventually gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 11:36 AM
1

First off, not sure of your jurisdiction so it is hard to project a likely outcome. Have you consulted anyone to advise what child support would look like if court ordered? Child support is the only thing that can be revisited after a decree is issued by the court. It can be adjusted over time with changes to income and living situations. It will be paid until the child is of age regardless. It really shouldn't be a debate unless she is offereing lesser support in lue of something else...which s…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 04:08 PM
1

Believe me, I'm aware. We've had a lengthy separation without anything legal in place. She's attempting to argue outdated values based on when I moved from the marital home to one of our rental properties all while we were still co-mingled financially and insurance wise.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 07:45 PM
2

Mine is a bit delusional and a bit narcissistic. Her attorneys, yes she has 2, don't seem to be helping her decision making. One of them is a criminal defense attorney and the other is downright lazy and they don't seem to communicate with each other. They collectively have wasted so much time and money being unprepared, along with frustrating a very prickly judge. I was willing to take a bath on a disolution with the premise that if I had to file I was cutting no discounts at all and she declin…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 07:41 PM
2

I'm currently dealing with what appears to be the 5% kind of person. Every time she makes me show up for a hearing she either agrees morning of or loses. I'm scheduled for trial in 30 days and at our pretrial conference it was more of the same. She did however offer the first counteroffer, and while unacceptable, there was movement. She's the higher earner by a fair amount and she has been holding 100% of the marital assets hostage while she thinks she gets to keep them. I've got no choice but t…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 06:41 PM
7

Less than 5% of divorces actually make it through trial. As trial nears closer unreasonable people tend to become a bit more reasonable when the reality of the lose/lose situation really begins to set in.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 05:33 PM
3

Division of assets is normally very cut and dry. If you are US it's generally either 50/50 or equitable division which generally works out similar. Hire a reputable attorney and let them work. There is no escaping the expense of divorce, but in the end if there is tracing for the assets she cannot escape what you are legally entitled to.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 02:54 PM
2

I don't know how they do things in your jursidiction, but they likely will consider duration of marriage in the calculation. 3 years is relatively short. You may be better served to cook the fair amount into the division of assets and not present it as alimony in hopes of avoiding an espensive fight.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 11:58 AM
7

My EX has been misrepresenting the truth for years, even prior to the split. At the end of the day it is your responsibility to be confident in who you are and surround yourself with like minded people who support you. Oh...almost forgot the most important part. It is also up to your to take back that emotional control you are still allowing her to have over you and NOT GIVE 2 FUCKS what either she or her family members think or say.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 03:25 PM
9

My man, you aren't this horrible person she is making you out to be. You just don't possess the penis she is currently admiring. Be strong willed for the day that falls apart for her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 08:31 PM
3

Why are you complaining about filing taxes instead of filing for divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:21 PM
1

For division of assets/debt, In my state, the court views it from cerimonial marriage to date of divorce finalization and in some special circumstances they may go by date of separation. Under that consideration the tax debt would be combined and shared. While it is frustrating it may simply be a case of pay me now or pay me later.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 08:01 PM
1

So, when did you file for divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 06:03 PM
2

So I suggest filing your taxes accordingly before she does, if she hasn't already. Once she has filed, if she claims both dependants you have no recourse with the IRS.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 12:05 PM
1

Do you have your own attorney? You've only mentioned her attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 11:44 AM
5

Divorce comes at a high cost, both to your finances and your mental health and there is no garauntee that it remains amicable for the duration. For me, in home separation was manageable for about a total of 2 months, and that was without the added stress of trying to keep up appearances for the kids (who unless they are very young, you aren't hiding a problem from like you think you are, they are smart). The toll on the mental health was worse than going through the divorce. My advice would be t…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 03:00 PM
1

You'll need to consult an attorney really. And since you leave out pertenent financial information to even begin to address support of any type and division of assets.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 05:52 PM
3

I believe that chemistry also plays a role in the intensity and overall experience. It may have less to do with boundaries.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 09:01 PM
3

I'm not sure what your retainer is or your attorney's hourly rate, but if you and the EX aren't agreeable to terms you will hit 10-15k easily. It can be safe to assume the retainer will be only 1/3 or less of the total of the legal fees by the time it's over.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 12:35 PM
3

Ohio is no fault so it doesn't matter if you can never put her legs back together as far as divorce goes. You could potentially get hit with $2k for 30 months, but if you don't agree to your own fate the court would have to make that decision. There are potentially many arguments in your favor like what is her earning potential? If you separate and she cohabitates with her lover that can potentially hurt her case.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 06:48 PM
4

Every circumstance is unique to itself and ALL of the individual parties involved, including the court. That said, I filed at the end of September, she got a continuance. Then she changed attorneys causing a conflict of interest and the judge recusing themselves. The visiting judge put us on the rocket docket and we will be done by the first week of June whether because she comes to her senses or we go to court.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 12:17 PM
1

Even if you agree on everything you will still need to file the appropriate documents with the court. There will schedule a hearing with a judge once it is determined you have correctly submitted all documentation. The judge will do their thing and then finalize the decree.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 06:43 PM
4

My attorney, who is exceptional about handling things in a way that is good for a client with little experience in these matters as well as a working in an assertive and professional manner, said it best. "The days will seem like months and the months will go by like days by the time this is over."
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 02:32 PM
2

I would not lie to my attorney as it can lessen their ability to fight effectively for me. That said, the answer should only matter if you are in an at fault state. It's common for the scheduler to ask questions or to even request you fill out a brief questionair prior to the consultation so the attorney has some background going into the meeting. A really good attorney is interviewing to hire prospective clients just as much as you are.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 07:52 PM
5

In most cases service can't be performed by a party to the case unless the spouse being served signs a waiver of service. Not to say you can't present it to her ahead of service. That said, in my case it was after a long separation and her not being on this planet reasonable to the terms. She's the higher earner with a financial advantage and the one with assets to lose. After a final offer and a warning that if I have to file there will be no deals like what I have presented she chose to not re…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 06:35 PM
1

Once there is a consult there would be a conflict of interest to represent the opposing party. That said, if you don't agree it will be expensive regardless. Paying for the best attorney you can hire is a much better plan in the long term than finding the cheapest one....that will cost you in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 12:01 PM
1

Alimony and division of assets will always be the future you until you get the ball rolling. Get a good lawyer, yes it will cost you. File for divorce and have mutual restraining orders put in place to freeze everything of hers during the process. File for temporary orders that include spousal support and hope you get a favorable ruling to help you through the process. That's how it worked in my jurisdiction for my case, although she finally agreed to reasonable terms for temporary orders after …
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 11:55 AM
1

In some cases you can co-petition, more commonly in a dissolution if that's a thing in your jurisdiction, if you completely agree on all terms. Typically a divorce is set up as plaintiff and defendant based on who files first. It truely doesn't matter for negotiating purposes other than for hearings the plaintiff goes first. Most divorces settle prior to an actual trial. That said, if one of you is dead set on not agreeing to one or more of the other's terms of a settlement the likelihood of it …
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 05:44 PM
1

A judge will typically sign off on an agreement that you both agree on so long as it is not severly lopsided or look like there is an underhanded scheme at play. That said, alimony and division of assets is final and cannot be easily if at all changed after the decree is final, but child support can always be re-evaluated. This to say if you give your ex extra on the asset side in a deal to offset child support they can always file later to have it re-allocated and you are at risk to give more t…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 03:45 PM
1

If you feel that way you should definitely consult another attorney. While having my experience with this and seeing first hand the experience that somone close to me is having at the same time....they are vastly different. These are life altering events, and while expensive, worth investing in the proper person to advocate for you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 01:18 PM
2

The overall point is divorce is expensive. You will split half of all your assets, the bread winner can pay child support and spousal support depending on the details and circumstances, and if you can't agree you will pay thousands in attorneys fees. That's the reality. Freedom and happiness is worth the cost.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 12:43 PM
13

So she wants you in a position to pine for her while she backburners your marriage? She wants to control your actions while doing so. You can damn sure bet that whatever she DOESN'T want you to be doing in this time she WILL be doing herself.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 08:14 PM
2

This is difficult to say with the level of detail you have provided. The difference in reported income, jursidiction, and actual earning potential can all play a factor. Also the ability to negotiate a settlement can as well. For instance, regardless of how you bank your marital assets are just that. That includes savings accts, checking accts, and property. That stuff is going to be split so it is all negotiable if not left up to the courts.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 07:57 PM
5

So even with 50/50 custody the higher earner usually pays CS. You would need majority custody, but if there is not legit safety concerns the court will not keep the children from a parent because the other doesn't want to pay. The basic gist is you could be on the hook for some type of spousal support, likely child support, and you will split your debts/assets equitably. This means if neither of you can afford to buy the other one out of the home you will sell it and split the proceeds. This doe…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 05:20 PM
1

First things first...unless both of you are bought in there will likely be nothing positive to come of it other than to say you tried. Secondly if you both are bought in and transparent and you get the vibe that the sessions are very one sided it means one of 2 things. 1. You need to fire the therapist immediately or 2. You need to further admit to yourself the type of person you have been.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 05:05 PM
3

From an IRS standpoint they will go by residential parent and actual number of days to qualify for the dependant. From your standpoint it may be best to calculated your taxes both with and without the dependant and decide if it is even worth the cost of the fight. If it is you probably can file contempt and she could be on the hook to reemburse you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 06:31 PM
1

This really is a question for your attorney and would likely rely on the judge's instructions.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 05:13 PM
2

Most of us don't live in this court/lawsuit/divorce rehlm, but these attorneys do. While it is ultimately on us to pay attention to everything that is happening we also pay these attorneys alot of money for guidance, to look out for OUR best interest, and to be organized and prepared when duty calls. I would be concerned that the current attorney is not putting the requisite attention to detail in your case.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 01:37 PM
1

Really, this is a personal decision on what assets you are willing to give up in the interest of getting this done quickly. Consider in most negotiations that where you start is not usually where you end so take that into consideration for your starting offer. For me personally the starting point would be no more of a discount than what the estimated legal fees would be to go the distance. For you that would be a wash. From there it's whatever it's worth to you to just get it done.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 12:48 PM
2

Where I'm located CS is a calc based on income, # of kids, and parenting time/custody. CS is to cover the day to day costs associated with raising the child....that includes food and clothes. Extras would be school fees, registration for sports, and the like. Those should be spelled out in the final agreement and if they are not you missed an important thing especially as the get older and those costs increase quite a bit. While custody and child support can always be relitigated a just is not l…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 08:51 PM
3

Division of assets and spousal support are separate of parenting time and child support. Residential parent or the parent who has more time in the order will receive CS with adjustment for insurance, espenses, and disparety in income. If you have 50/50 and can swing dual residency she could be on the hook for CS to YOU even if she has an additional night. As for alimony, that's purely based on term of marriage and disparety in income. This can be something you leverage for parenting time if she …
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 05:01 PM
3

My suspicion is that if the funds were never placed in a blended marital account it will be hard to argue against inheritance rules, but really seeking the advice of an attorney is the way here.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 01:17 PM
3

Sounds to me like neither of you really should get alimony. Divorce is a loss and the penalty for choosing the wrong person. Don't settle for less than your half and be done with it. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 09:39 PM
4

This might be a question for an attorny and how relates to your jurisdiction. My attorney advised me that there is no back support. Support begins when is motioned for and granted. In my case there has been a lengthy separation where my EX has withheld parenting time without cause prior to me filing while we attemted to work out an agreement. She also earns 1.5 times my salary so while she believes she is entitled to back CS, the reality is if I am granted equal parenting time she will be paying…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 09:31 PM
3

My man...lawyers and divorce are expensive and the process can take 1-2 years depending on how contentious. Retainer, depending on location, can start at $5k and go up, and you'll be lucky to get everything completed for under $20k if you aren't agreeable. These are the cards you are delt. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 03:21 PM
4

I personally wouldn't go looking to stir the pot. I don't talk about the EX or divorce unless directly asked. In the cases that happens.....the truth is the truth and they can lay in the bed they made. You can tell your story, be honest, and not be vindictive at the same time.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 12:41 PM
3

Everyone makes decisions for themselves. The blame lies only with the spouse who CHOSE to cheat.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 12:57 PM
4

You aren't healed yet and you are allowing her to still control your happiness. Work on yourself first.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 08:53 PM
1

While it's far to soon to be introducing kids to new partners, there isn't much you can do to prevent her from making bad decisions...or having temporary guests in the house. You certainly have no agency if you are not living in the same house. Your best bet is to consult/hire a good attorney and come to grips with the fact that you can no longer trust her and you have no control who she lays with or when.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 05:12 PM
1

In most cases a house with no equity is treated as a zero asset. You either sell it and inessence sell the debt or her rent/living expenses offset your expenses to keep the house. The bigger question here is determined by your marital situation and where those funds originated. If the downpayment was an inheritence, she may be entitled to recover those funds. If at the end of the day all the expenses were covered by what is considered marital property (normal income, savings, etc) she is likely …
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 03:26 PM
5

In most places division of assets is some form of 50/50. House, cars, bank accounts, retirements, debt. How you get there is whatever you can agree on. So you may deal to give a larger portion of home equity in lue of depleting your retirement as an example. It's often though that either spouse is not able to buy the other out of the house and that results in the sale of property. Then there is all of the "STUFF" in that house. I personally don't see the point of arguing over stuff that is repla…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 07:30 PM
1

Our Family Wizard
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 06:49 PM
2

You should be able to find a reputable attorney to meet within a few weeks. Ask around for recommendations and keep calling them. The good news is that since there is such a large gap in income this will likely work well to your favor in the end depending on your location and some other factors such as length of marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 06:40 PM
3

Petition the court to use a parenting app only for communication moving forward. It will all be on record for the court to see, she will have to pay annually to use it, and he is in no way obligated to acknowledge her bullshit that doesn't pertain to the kids. There should be a court order in place for parenting time that if she refuses will land her in contempt.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 06:33 PM
1

You are not solving ANYTHING by plodding along the way you are. You are trapped in pergutory. Find a reputable lawyer and file for divorce. She will be shitty and manipulative to the nth degree and she can pay her own attorny to put up with it, you don't have to acknowledge anything that doesn't pertain to scheduling or taking care of the kids. And once there is a court order she can f-off with the guilt trips because they don't matter parenting time will be set and so will the holiday schedule.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 04:42 PM
4

Mine were 8 and 10 at the time. There was silence and a few tears running down thier faces. Now they understand and see that our relationship has much improved without the weight of a failing marriage pressing down all of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 04:34 PM
17

You hire the best divorce attorney you can find and file as quickly as possible. You fight as hard as possible for your share of custody, and remember this. She is no longer your lover, no longer your friend, no longer to be trusted with anything. There are no favors for her. She will only be as amicable as you are willing to giver her everything she asks for....which in most cases is far more than she is actually entitled.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 04:30 PM
4

My brother.....you filed a year ago and are still living together? And you haven't gotten discovery? You probably need to get your affairs in order before considering dating. The first step is to cut the cohabitation....like yesterday. There is no present or future for your mental health and well being in that environment and anything you do for yourself will only serve to cause problems. Additionally, remove yourself from ANY way of financially helping her that is not court ordered. If it were …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 07:56 PM
11

This is a fear that most men have before or as they begin down this path. You eventually realize that it's not really the case. Kids are incredibly resiliant and they adapt well. You be the best father you can be providing them security and love 100% of the time. This is much easier to do and much more genuine to them then attempting to do it while a dysfunctional marriage is hanging around your neck like a boat anchor.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 07:42 PM
2

Pro tip about that attorney....he's not dragging it out for the sake of making it difficult, he's burning through billable hours at her expense. As far as nesting....no thank you. It's bad enough I have to deal with my ex co-parenting, planning, and pick-up/drop off. The last thing I'm doing is spending extended time in the miserable place I needed to leave. Give the kids a safe, sound enviroment to call thier own and they adapt just fine, especially in those mid to later teen years when they ha…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 04:24 PM
1

You may not know the amount, but based on your location and financial circumstances you should have a basic idea of at least who will be paying. Consulting an attorney will provide even more insight. CS will be based on custody/parenting time, number of kids, and income, alimony would be based on income levels of each party and marriage length in most jurisdictions, and unless either party is willing to walk away to just get it over with, plan on splitting the marital assets/debt in half.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 02:19 PM
6

My ex was a cheater. I tried to work through it to save the marriage. I eventually pulled the plug. None of the other people made it easier to move on. Realizing I needed to prioritize myself over a relationship with someone who didn't care about or respect that relationship or me is what allowed me to move on. So with that, what's going on doesn't matter my brother......she didn't choose you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 01:42 PM
3

So....everything is good but parenting philosphy? First things first....you are in a partnership and not every parenting decision is black and white. And just because you end the marriage doesn't mean you end parenting. You will have to co-parent or at minimum parallel parent and will still be sending opposing messages when issues arise. You have no agency over your ex's parenting style when the minor is on thier time. Additionally, there are no garuantees that when you begin the process of divo…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 09:08 PM
2

Consult your attorney and be resigned to the fact that half is half going in because the person you married is NOT the same as the one you are about to divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 02:30 PM
1

The short answer nothing different. She's been served and the clock is ticking on a hearing. It works in your favor if she is unprepared or doesn't show up. If she lawyers up, which is presumably what will happen once she comes to her senses, she will pay him to obtain/review the complaint and file a response.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 07:24 PM
2

I wouldn't have wasted money attempting a dissolution for her to not be reasonable anyways. I would have just torn the bandaid off from the start.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 12:50 PM
1

Unless she is also resigned to the fact that divorce is the best path forward it is not likely to go smoothly. You tell her matter of factly and don't engage in argument or debate...then you file immediately or even just before you tell her so she doesn't find out through service. Your best friend and mother of your child will then become your enemy. Don't expect her to give you an inch through the process and do not give an inch on assets or parenting time that you are legaly afforded in your j…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 12:39 PM
2

I'm in a similar position as you. We've been separated for 5 years. I've spent 2 years of that trying to negotiate a dissolution while offering her far more than 50% of everything other than custody. I even offered an amount of CS just to make this go away. She wouldn't agree to anything yet just kept saying we can come to an agreement while slow playing me. My attorney advised to just file at the start, but I tried to play the game. My attorney was right. I filed after several warnings to my EX…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 01:06 PM
8

I agree. You can spell asshole without the extra letters.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 09:11 PM
0

In my state the process server has a certain amount of time to either serve or notify the court and you have a certain amount of time to respond once served. In the interim, the court mails all of the notices for any hearings or orders. Depending on your jurisdiction you may be able to find the documents on a dockett search also. Meanwhile if I was you I would be hiring a good attorney to represent you, especially if you think she is going to do shady shit, and don't show up to the temp orders h…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 09:07 PM
5

Time to pull the big boy pants up and move forward with the divorce. You are going to need to protect yourself from her instability especially when the fly by night boyfriend flies the coup and she begins claiming lies to make ends meet.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 04:50 PM
8

Divorce is expensive. You are effectively doubling the cost of living between the 2 of you before you consider the division of assets and any type of support that may be owed. When "amicable" turns not so amicable as it often does then $10's of thousands worth of those assets go to attorneys. But.......you can always make more money and freedom is worth the cost.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 04:45 PM
2

Nope, nope, nope.....you look out for YOU and your child. 50/50 is best for the child, not a minute less. Her partying up with dudes every weekend for 2 nights (while you don't get that social time and you are also not involved during the week where there is school to be informed of) and her parenting the other 5 not only is NOT 50/50 it will cost you $ also. Most states assets and debt is 50/50 as well and once things are finalized its not really changeable other than child support modification…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 03:45 PM
8

I've read alot of peoples stories that say there would be nothing to gain from a financial standpoint. Unless the bio father can be determined you are on the birth cert and have raised them to this point and that makes you financially responsible. Beyond that, kids deserve a father and to them you are it. What benefit comes of this for anyone after the fact? Are you looking to emotionaly damage kids and possibly yourself, because that's the only likely outcome of this while nothing else changes.…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/24 09:52 PM
13

My relationship with my kids improved dramatically when I removed the daily negativity and narcissism from my life. That said, fighting for your kids when the narcissist attempts to screw you over at all costs after leaving is equally as hard.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/24 05:12 PM
2

I would let it flow organically and then just be honest about the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 03:10 PM
12

She broke her promises. She's lied and cheated. Why are you worried about her privacy?
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 09:00 PM
2

There is always a little sense of guilt. When it creeps up I begin to reflect on how mentally and emotionally draining living in the failing relationship was and how much stronger my relationship with my kids is now....even with splitting that time. I'm a better parent. Be present and attentive when you have your time. It's the same advice I'd give if you were splitting time and single.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 08:28 PM
2

You are overlooking the fact that the kids are suffering regardless being in a home with a "fake" marriage. They are smarter than you give them credit for and they will either recognize the lack of loving relationship or you will simply be teaching them that your marital dysfuntion is normal, meanwhile you get to serve a lengthy sentence of dialy misery. Yes, it is initially upsetting for them, then there is adjustment, and then they are resilient and have strong relationships with both parents …
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 04:22 PM
6

The first thing that happens when you file is a mutual restraining order is issued that does a number of things, including freezing assets. Why are you waiting for her to screw you over on her terms?
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 04:08 PM
3

Child support is always amendable through the court. Any major changes in income or expenses such as health insurance for the kids moving from one parent to the other can open up justifaction for an adjustment. I've always been advised that it is beneficial to be the insurance provider as it pertains to CS calculations. Now, it may be worth the hit if your insurance is bad or high out of pocket given your situation.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 03:35 PM
2

You already have sole custody and CS which is often a point of contention. You mention nothing of the circumstances as it pertains to your incomes, but generally it is 50/50 on debt and assets beyond any type of possible alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 07:26 PM
2

Here's the deal. Noone will care about the drama, lies, and cheating. It makes no difference other than that's what ended the relationship for you and as a result you have decisions to make. You get one crack at the divorce apple so do it right. 4 years of marriage is all that counts. You will split the debt and assets incured during that time and anything deemed marital property. If one of you makes more than the other there could be spousal support involved, but the marriage by most state's st…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 06:58 PM
1

What does the divorce decree stipulate for spousal support? That said, probably a good question for your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 03:33 PM
4

Courts don’t care about cheating and drama unless you are in a state that has and are filing an at fault divorce. If it was pre-marriage they care even less.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 09:59 PM
7

You didn't detail her settlement offer. First she tried to get a CS increase. That failed so now she is attempting to bully you out of parenting time. You know what happens if you agree? She turns around and attempts to collect more in CS as a result. If everything is legit fair as it exists I would agree to nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 08:41 PM
2

If you are agreeing to 50/50 and you don't give glaring reasons why that should change it would be difficult and expensive I would imagine. I'm not in NC. We have dissolutions, which would be all agreed upon and it's around $3000 for the whole ball of wax. My attorney is $350 per hour.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 06:49 PM
1

You most certainly can arrange that agreement and a lawyer should be willing to help with that so long as your year long separation included residing at separate addresses. In most cases once the court signs off on the agreement everything is final and cannot be undone (division of property and assets and alimony) with the exception of custody and child support which would require the court to modify the original court order. Ask around for referals of trusted attorneys.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 06:29 PM
7

Many swear it off not because they think all women are evil at all. I think it ends up that many find it unnecessary when they endure the experience of a divorce that is not ammicable or feel that the system has failed them for what is fair due to gender bias. The question of getting over the first wife really is a situational basis depending on why the marriage failed.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 02:51 PM
2

Usually default means when the defendant does not appear and the court rules in favor of the plaintiff and thier requests. In other words, if you asked for 50/50 and she does not show it's likely for the court to grant 50/50. It's difficult to understand where your situation actually sits between your confusing words and lack of information.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 02:37 PM
1

What point in the process are you?
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 08:50 PM
1

You aren't selfish. I think you just need to view this through a different lens. While you are parents of the same child, you are not together and that is for a reason. This is the first of many indepence conflicts that is likely to arrise and the thought of always inviting each other to events and outings is exhausting. The longer you are apart the more this will be the case regardless of your agreement or intent at the start....life moves on. Alternative events and similar experiences are avai…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 06:38 PM
6

I haven't begun the process yet as I just filed. Everyone I've talked to that has gone through it including my attorney says it's like any other negotion. Never start where you want it to end.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 06:26 PM
1

The child will adjust to the schedule that is set regardless of 50/50 or 60/40. That said, anything other than 50/50 will not work in your favor.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 01:40 PM
7

She likely made choices under the assumption that your priorities would evolve with life and her needs and desires. In my experience the issue is probably more that she did not communicate it well enough or you didn't hear her along the way and it manifested itself with this. Whether or not you divorce or try to work through this it will take sacrifice. The question is not about the past but rather what is important to you moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 12:15 PM
5

Hire a good attorney. Come to terms with the fact that she will likely get half of any asset since marriage and spousal support of some type. Be glad that the marriage is only 4 years and that will likely cap the support payments. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 08:12 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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