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Competitive-Gas3935 Archive

View 4 posts and 107 comments by Competitive-Gas3935 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Thank you. I think it would be a good way to bring up the subject
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/22 09:15 PM
1

Together for two years going on 3 Im im my early 30s he’s late 30s For the stressors.. I think it depends on his actions.. for health issues were unsure.. still trying to get to the bottom of what’s going on It’s hard to say how long we were together before it got like this because early on we had some issues that made the relationship quite uncomfortable too but we’ve mostly worked through them now. Unfortunately they were very soon followed up by these issues .. I’d say most of the relationshi…
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/22 09:11 PM
2

He’s done other tests but not the T. I really wanted his T to get done but he hasn’t done it .. there were other tests that weren’t within the norm though which will be retested in couple months
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/22 08:47 PM
2

Most likely I’d say no because I feel insecure about how long it’s taking to solve these stresses and especially about the dead bedroom
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/22 08:46 PM
2

Been together for two years .. we’re both in the age group where we’re wanting to get married and have a family (he’s a bit older). The stressors are solvable I think (at least some) but require drastic actions (ie potentially quitting a well paying job, though this isn’t the only solution imho). He has taken some steps to solve stuff but honestly not enough considering how long it’s been (he knows this and admits it).. I recently asked what his goals were for the next year and he said to focus …
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/22 11:53 AM
14

Sounds like he’s trying to use you as a placeholder… no resentment and you’re perfect gf material lol so you hang around until there is a spot .. don’t be desperate .. I’d leave and start dating other people
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/22 01:13 PM
1

Good luck :) try activated charcoal once a week before going to bed :)
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/22 11:07 AM
2

Besides everyone else’s greats advice, I suggest you examine your physical (and therefore mental) health. How is your gut? I know this seems random but I know for sure when your stress hormones rise it affects your gut which then affects your mood and mindset. Can you take sometime to improve your diet ? I once went through a stage of never ending negativity towards my bf.. I then got a cold and had to take a course of antibiotics and oh dear did that clear up my gut issues and my mood.. like a …
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/22 10:51 AM
1

Laura Doyle suggests saying “I can’t” when you feel like you’re unable to do something. I think that’s really appropriate for this situation. Just saying “I can’t” without further nagging and lecturing should send the message I think.. if your husbands responds with “wh? The colleagues gave us this much money so you need to do this xyz etc” you just go “I hear you..” however it is still an “I can’t” because honestly a pregnant woman with a 10 month old can’t be expected to travel all the time an…
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/22 10:20 AM
1

Yea I agree… you deserve what you work for. It doesn’t just fall into your hands. Not taking responsibility for your own life and feeling like things just happen to you is a victim mindset
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/22 11:05 PM
3

Maybe time to switch therapist
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/22 12:55 PM
3

Reading your response OP.. you just carry on with the victim mindset. Perhaps therapy could help with it?
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/22 07:26 AM
12

Just right off the bat, so no one gets the wrong idea.. your husband is 100% wrong in this Other than that. I think Laura Doyle suggests responding with “ouch” In these situations rather than lecturing your partner on what he did wrong and he he didn’t handle it well, as it won’t go down well. I myself noticed that my partner is a lot more responsive to my needs and is much quicker to recognise when he’s harsh when I just say ouch and spare him the tirade
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/22 07:10 AM
2

As someone who studied socio linguistics and psychology I can tell you that people imitate unintentionally as subconsciously we want to fit in to the group
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/22 01:17 PM
1

Hmmm to me it implies you have great potential but maybe need to lose weight or something along those lines though I gotta say I wouldn’t have liked it if my bf said something like that to me as it impacts a woman’s confidence
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/22 02:52 AM
1

Has he ever explicitly said he doe want find you pretty?
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/22 02:36 AM
1

He knows how I feel but not of time line. He’s already taking some steps to help himself right now and he’s generally a proactive person. I think the waiting is more for my own mental health sake.. Like I only have so much patience for so long before it really starts affecting my mental health. It’s not even so much about the marriage as it is about his moods. But yeah I’ll meditating on this :( I just miss him so much and hope he gets better soon
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/22 12:38 AM
1

Thanks for responding… honestly it’s been ongoing for him.. part caused by childhood issues and part sparked by recent events with his health :( We don’t live together so makes it a bit easier but We’ve been dating long enough to take the next step.. I’m kind of giving myself a timeline (6 months during which I need to see changes otherwise I need to go)… I hope doesn’t get to that as I love him to death and he’s an amazing person
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/22 02:59 PM
1

Sometimes you’ll have to let men hot rock bottom to get them off their butts unfortunately.. do you have family that you can stay with temporarily in the future ?
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/22 08:19 AM
1

Just speaking in terms of looks only here he was definitely more fit and better looking than her. Of course personality wise he was definitely trashy (so was she btw, pure nutcase haha). But i highly doubt an attractive woman (even if trashy personality wise) would agree to a one night stand with an obese socially weird guy
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/22 03:14 AM
1

I actually have observed it to be true… even the most obese socially weird girl could get laid (Albeit she came onto the guy and the guy was a complete dick to her after they slept together).. but i doubt a complete obese socially weird guy would even stand a chance getting laid if he hung out with a couple of regular girls
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/22 01:23 AM
1

Where are you located?
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/22 02:45 AM
3

I love Thomas sowell! What a bright mind. This theory does ring true tbh For the doctors, I imagine a man may think “heck what do I know.. she’s the female here, better be safe then sorry and investigate” while a female may think “oh come on all women know our periods are affected by stress and what not just wait it out and you’ll be fine”
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/22 02:37 AM
5

The bit about being dismissed by female doctors is SO TRUE. I have been having issues with my periods for years and everytime I requested to test my hormones from MULTIPLE female doctors they plainly refused!!! One said “oh you don’t need that” …… finally I went to a male doctor. I was a bit embarrassed to talk about my cycle, but he was super nice. All I did is mention it wasn’t regular as it used to be and he right away gave a complete hormonal panel plus many other blood tests for vitamines, …
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 11:21 PM
7

Hormonal birth control is evil in pure form. I was a monster while on the pill. Absolute monster. Not to mention that excess estrogen can lead to all kinds of issues, including breast cancer
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 11:17 PM
1

In terms of decluttering in general, choose a day on the weekend and go through sections of stuff (eg kitchen utensils this weekend, clothes next weekend, make up weekend after, then pantry items). First. Chuck everything expired. Including cosmetics Second. Chuck or donate anything that you haven’t used in the past 1-2 years (depending on if your country has seasons). I recently got rid of a bunch of unopened hand creams I was gifted years ago. Third. Go through your stuff (especially kitchen u…
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 08:09 AM
1

I really Like to watch Anna bey on YouTube, she has great tips for feminine and elegant styling. I personally love linen dresses and linen trousers also cause they’re so good for hot weather
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 02:13 AM
7

Judging by your previous post, you’ve got issues to work on.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/22 05:00 AM
1

After my last break I read the book Breaking up and Bouncing Back and it was great. Not only gave me hope but also they have heaps of exercises that prompt you to journal and reflect. I also recommend reading laura Doyle’s surrender single. It will get better :) I met my partner 3 months after my break up
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/22 01:35 PM
8

My bf is usually very dressed down while I love dressing up.. guess what the rule is.. you do you and lay off the other person. That’s makes us both happy :)
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/22 01:55 PM
1

Already have had many of those chats.. basically he’s asked me to stop initiating for now .. but yeah will see how we go. The rest of our relationship is very satisfying
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/22 09:42 AM
1

Yeah … he says to leave it and it’s fine.. I think stress is also contributing at the moment
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/22 06:05 AM
1

Yeah definitely .. he has mentioned that he’s slept on the first date in the past and I think he may have been more adventurous previously but it’s died down now.. but hard when my drive is very much there
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/22 03:51 AM
2

May I also comment on the category 4 male bit which my current partner fell under (didn’t really try much at all during dating).. his sex drive is much lower than mine lol sadly
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 11:15 PM
2

Embroidery :) you can buy kits that break everything down for you. Also it took me some time to u first and knitting and I can make nice scarves, some simple hats and socks now.. but kind of limited in my skill and wish to one day sit down and upgrade it. But generally with knitting, I’d suggest to start with simple scarves on two straight needles
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/22 11:57 PM
2

Lol what… yeah obviously not. Instead, sign up for classes or meet ups where you can make friends based on common interests (dance classes, art and photography groups, gym etc)
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/22 12:15 AM
1

Check your hormones.. I follow Dr Ray Peat who focuses on metabolic health. It’s better to be healthy than skinny. And skinny doesn’t automatically mean healthy
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 01:35 AM
2

There is a lot of research on statins and premature heart attacks. I have heart issues and have always been cautioned by my doctors regarding limiting cardio because it raises cortisol and lowers Pulse (not a good thing)
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 11:22 AM
7

I would be careful around cardio because if he is on statins he has a higher chance of heart attack so I wouldn’t push that.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 08:13 AM
3

I’ve become very hypersensitive to peoples mood and it sends me straight into a people Pleasing mode and gives me anxiety. I’m aware of it and trying to work on it but it’s been 5 years and yeah it 100% affects mw
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 02:03 AM
2

I’m glad but it still affects me to this day… I hope it won’t be the same for you or anyone out there
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 01:48 AM
2

Just for good measure, check your thyroid and progesterone because those things can greatly affect mood. But yeah stay away from BC pill. It’s evil .. lol I’d say you’re already on the right track if your partner doesn’t antagonise you, that makes things easier. I’d do individual therapy. Maybe let your partner know you’re aware of the issue and working on it by doing therapy. You can do therapy over the phone these days too. Also, are you lacking in self care? Do you do three things a day just …
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 12:54 AM
–

I really recommend also reading surrendered single by Laura as it’s more applicable since you’re not married. Surrendered wife is aimed to stop divorce and takes into account life long commitment from both people. Also of course the submissive approach takes a while to change the dynamic. But yeah I think you have your answer. If you can’t picture yourself with him then I’d say don’t do it. With my ex I also couldn’t picture myself being married to him .. I would have likely ended up in a mental…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 12:50 AM
1

I’ve only met one woman so far who was able to be detached during sex and maintain fwb situations. And enjoyed it. When I asked about it she said she wasn’t in the right place for a relationship but also really liked sex. She said she did occasionally develop feelings so she’d be more mindful of it and distance herself from the guy if that happened. Otherwise she also made a point to see multiple men at the same time for sex to avoid catching feelings… either way I don’t believe this is healthy …
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/22 04:23 AM
–

The lamp was just a trigger to pour his hugely grown resentment out. Him insulting you is just terrible. But more than anything, he doesn’t see an issue with it and tries his best to excuse it. I know Laura suggests thanking him for looking out for you and saying ouch and all that but tbh you guys aren’t married. You have a huge age difference and he has way more experience than you. In my young 20s I dated a much older guy who treated me this way too and I also felt like I couldn’t improve beca…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/22 01:06 AM
30

Are you on birth control? The pill (no matter which brand) turned me into an angry monster who yelled at everybody lol… being off the pill solved it more or less for me
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 11:06 PM
1

I think there is the surrender wife group on Facebook you can join
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 11:04 PM
1

Just a side note on losing weight.. I HATE the gym with absolute passion and could never make myself stick with it but… I love Latin dance so so much… and therefore I go and look forward to going everyday… there are very overweight people there in my class who are doing an awesome job and even our female teacher lost heaps of weight doing Latin dance 4 days a week for a year.. she used to be quite overweight and fit now (only dance no gym). So I’m just wondering if your guy has other active inte…
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 11:02 PM
3

Remember it’s not your job to change him and it will only make him feel like he’s trying to please you and he may even grow resentful
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 10:55 PM
2

Well… would you fuck him haha can you picture yourself kissing him? Holding hands? Giving a bj? Him going down on you? All WITHOUT feeling grossed out and even feel like you’d be keen to do it? If yes then I’d say go for it.. and who knows he may or may not lose weight later on in life.. you may grow to find him more attractive (I find this happens to me the longer I get to know someone).. but if not then don’t go for it.. it’s totally ok to have your own taste, even fascinating womanhood recomm…
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 10:52 PM
1

You sound like the biggest jerk… but I guess it’s good you feel bad. Now repent, tell her you manipulated her into sexual acts, seek forgiveness and get the f out of that poor girl’s life who is now likely to have heaps of self esteem issues because of you
/r/RPChristians16/05/22 01:49 PM
4

Can’t answer your question but I’d strongly suggest checking out the works of Dr Ray Peat regarding infertility. I was able to cure mine
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 01:37 PM
5

Idk if my story will help but.. my partner opened up the other day and told me that he feels that I have high expectations in all aspects of our relationship and it’s worn him down overtime to the point that even areas where I don’t really expect anything feels like an expectation (so expecting to have sex when I want it).. so I’m going to work on dropping the expectation.. I don’t actually know how but I’ll start from stopping initiating and hoping and just making myself busy with other things.…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/22 04:23 PM
25

I don’t agree at all with what she’s done.. but putting that aside. When I was going through an abortion (a very sad time for me), a Christian friend who is against abortions came to visit me and brought me some cute gifts so I feel better. She didn’t support my decision, but she did support a friend in need
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/22 11:24 AM
4

:( just gotta get used to it..
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/22 11:17 AM
21

I’m so jealous reading about this :( how I wish my man was in the mood more often.. I’m always in the mood and I’m just at his mercy to initiate ..
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/22 04:56 AM
15

Why do you need to say it explicitly? Just keep dating as you’re and maybe don’t put yourself In situations where sex is likely to happen (eg watching movies at his place or going out for drinks and staying over). Of it does come To that point that he asks you for it then say that it’s reserved for a committed relationship because you need to be able to feel safe with him Or something to that effect.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/22 11:49 AM
1

Actually my situation isn’t in a workplace but a hobby environment where everyone is friendly and close to each other but i think it generally applies to other environments too. Thanks for the tip tho :)
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 05:43 AM
1

I know you said it’s not an option. But my best friend struggled with low libido for years and it was really affecting her relationship. She just went off the pill and she said she can’t believe how much her sex drive has returned. Is your partner able to use condoms so you can stop taking the pill? The pill is honestly really bad for your health anyway..
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 02:34 AM
1

I like that but what if they guy doesn’t flag out tell you he likes you?
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 12:34 AM
2

Or i think I should have mentioned I’m very friendly with everyone, men and women.. but yeah thank you for those tips that’s super useful! Yes, exactly, with the random people at a bar or on a street, polite but firm rejection is much easier but harder at a work place, or other settings where you’re with the same men on a daily basis, because I find it becomes a game of guessing on what the intent is. So far if a man from such environment asks me out, without signalling romantic intent, I always…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 12:25 AM
1

I know this was posted she’s ago but could you please expand on those tips
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 03:10 PM
31

When you date these men, do you make it clear you’re looking for a serious committed relationship from get go? If you do, then you need to hold out on the sex until after they officially ask you to be their gf
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 01:02 PM
4

Yeah of course it’s possible. But it’s gets trickier when you see the same people say in day out and work closely together. I’m naturally friendly and not stand offish and would like to remain such without crossing any lines of course but I see it sometimes gets misinterpreted.. I think I shall talk more about stuff I’m doing with my partner
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 12:54 PM
5

Thank you so much. Im definitely going to talk more about my partner now. I’ve mentioned before and made it clear in passing that I have a bf but I can still see some men try and cross that line Possibly because I’m very friendly. I feel talking a lot more about my partner will really help
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 08:44 AM
2

Thank you :) I think I’ve found mine already hehe
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/22 02:34 AM
4

Hmmm doesn’t really matter to me. I’m not hung up on those things. I myself was a bit of a .. how do you say it but loose in my teens and young 20s haha but have done a complete turn around and therefore if I’m redeemable my partner is too :)
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/22 02:04 AM
9

I would prefer my man to not be a man slut haha but ultimately what’s more important is even if the guy was one he’s now realised that hook Up culture is terrible and has realised a true intimate meaningful connection in sex.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/22 01:44 AM
2

That makes sense :) (sorry if my comment cam across judgy, certainly didn’t mean to at all). Well maybe good to just let him sort it out himself. From what you said it already sounds he was feeling emasculated. Just trust him. And if he proves otherwise(that he long term is unable to manage finances), then reevaluate if that is what you want
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/22 11:42 PM
7

this. Just cause you’re dating people doesn’t automatically mean you have to sleep with them. But also maybe don’t be so harsh on yourself. You had that experience and you learned it wasn’t for you. You sound like the whole package but obviously have some hang ups about this. Address them but don’t waste time. Join the dating scene and start meeting awesome men who are looking for a relationship:)
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/22 10:22 PM
9

Advice is to turn off your masculine mind of problem solving and let him figure it out. Do you not trust him to figure it out without your input? I would imagine you chiming in may very well feel emasculating to him. Just leave it :) tbh I wouldn’t even offer to pay for his car repair unless he specifically asked too. On the other hand, I would be observant of what is happening with his finances in general, like is always like that? Cause that would be a bit of a red flag for me. The other thing…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/22 10:18 PM
2

I’d be careful with the humour as he may take it as a joke and not take you seriously
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/22 10:13 PM
5

Hello :) I gave you advise earlier on dating on another post :) I wouldn’t go off dating completely unless you feel you really need to.. also ages ago I dated a heavy weed addict and I can totally understand where you’re coming from.. those people just don’t have it together and never will. In fact this community would encourage you to get out of a relationship with an addict. In terms of your points here, Body count issue: I swear we sound very similar as I had a similar issue in my young 20s. …
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 05:21 AM
18

I am a member of Christianmarriage subreddit and everytime I post advice re the OP making changes themselves rather than leaving or forcing the (usually) male partner to change I’m downvoted into oblivion because everyone just assumes that OP is always blameless and always an angel in a relationship when clearly we only get one side of the story… I much prefer this sub where people hold you accountable and put more emphasis on personal responsibility
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 01:23 AM
2

Tbh tell you what.. it’s very likely you will fall away (sorry not sure about right English term) naturally because your values are different
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 12:35 AM
2

Same here! That’s exactly how I felt.. especially because as soon as she disappeared from my life it’s like I was a totally changed person.. now I’m not going to deny my personal responsibility but honestly as a young 20 year old uni student with no family in a new country I was very easily influenced
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 12:34 AM
10

Back at uni I had a best friend whom I’ve known since high school. We even ended up living together for two years. The girl, as lovely and fun as she was, was a terrible influence. She loved going out and sleeping around. In fact I later found out she was an escort. Now, I wasn’t an angel myself. Far from. But heck… she pushed me to make so many mistakes and really encourage the poor behaviour of getting drunk and sleeping around (would literally say you should go home with that guy, when I was …
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 09:34 PM
2

I’d want to know if she found her behaviour problematic but had difficult time changing or if she thought it was all cool
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 09:29 PM
5

I like what this lady here said but I’d also add that being submissive (on top of the above listed feminine aspects, like dresses, long hair, cooking etc) is to let your man lead. Like truly lead. Let him make the calls for all the decisions. Make him a priority even above your kids
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 08:57 PM
2

Sounds like you’re lacking in self care. Laura Doyle is big on that. Read her books if you haven’t already. She suggests making a list of self care activities and do at least 3 a day. Even if you “don’t have time” she says to make time regardless.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/22 11:06 AM
1

Some of My favourite recipes (also very liked by my bf). For Spanish ones, you can use google translate :) https://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/spanish_rice/ https://www.bestrecipes.com.au/recipes/spanish-garlic-prawns-recipe/5slblle4 https://www.recipetineats.com/chicken-nachos-recipe/ https://www.196flavors.com/colombia-cazuela-de-mariscos/ https://www.gastrosenses.com/blog/beef-masala-curry/ https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/a30781449/beef-curry-recipe/ https://www.thaicookbook.tv/…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/22 08:06 AM
1

Sounds like there was some emotional cheating there. I don’t know if others would agree but personally I would confront him (in a soft feminine manner). Because I wouldn’t be able to pretend that it doesn’t bother me :( not saying my advise is right but I don’t like this situation at all (of course this is without context whether everything else in your relationship is great or not because comment about breaking up out of the blue tells me it’s not great)
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/22 10:31 PM
2

I recommend the fascinating womanhood videos on YouTube :)
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 10:55 PM
1

You’re literally not funny
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 11:50 PM
11

Sorry how is this relevant to RPW
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 12:43 PM
7

Honestly, I bet my bottom dollar most people who sneer st sahm are simply jealous that they have a good enough lifestyle and an awesome partner who is able to support them, especially if the wife looks happy. Like come on.. who wants to be waking up early everyday to slave away plus I bet their husbands just don’t let them do that or they are single mums or unmarried and couldn’t afford to. Well.. tell you what. Sounds like you need to maybe expand your circle to women in similar circumstances :…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/22 10:42 PM
3

I strongly recommend looking into Dr Ray Peats work, specifically on progesterone to balance out your hormones. I have been on progesterone and magnesium glycenate for a few months now and my moods have improved dramatically
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/22 01:34 PM
2

If you haven’t already, I really suggest reading Laura Doyle’s books (the surrendered wife and the surrendered single) and listen to her podcast (the empowered wife). She talks a lot about refraining from criticism no matter what and focusing on the positives, while working on yourself so that a change in you brings about a change in your partner
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/22 01:19 PM
4

Im not sure how it’s related to red pill? Like did he specifically say he wants you to be more feminine? Also as someone says, it appears you don’t have much respect for his accomplishments and who knows that might be contributing to the conflict and not so much dressing girly and cooking. On the clingy part, well from what you said it appears you have all forgotten about yourself and self care. You don’t work out, don’t take care of your looks, don’t cook all in the name of work or supporting h…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/22 12:52 PM
3

Haha that is why you shouldn’t ask leading questions like that in the first place! Let it be a lesson ;) In terms of advice, either surrendered wife or fascinating womanhood had a similar story. A husband who always said he loved green eyes while his wife thought her blue eyes were her best features and she always felt offended and unattractive to him.. however when they improved their relationship he suddenly told her he loved blue eyes and when she said really? I thought you liked green eyes h…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 02:29 AM
33

Also, remember it’s not your job to snap anyone out of anything. In other words, it’s not your job to change him.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/22 11:41 AM
31

You’re only 19 :) if you’re craving to get married and have kids ASAP I’d say this guy isn’t it and probably won’t be it for a few years. Good luck x
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/22 11:41 AM
1

Tbh he’s never demanded any changes from me. I have decided willingfully that it is in my best interest to be a better person. I think for him it’s just leftover resentment. However, thank you for your input. Of course, I know that if it doesn’t get resolved and keeps coming up eventually I will need to move on with my life
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/22 11:49 PM
1

When we had that discussion months ago I did say that testing me wasn’t right .. on the other hand, I am only responsible for my mistakes, not his so I’m only able to work on mine.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/22 05:54 AM
2

This is amazing thank you for pointing me to this. Oh gosh I’m feeling terrible I said way too much and was defensive in our last conversation:( feel Like I’m screwing things up!!
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/22 02:47 AM
0

No he said that my demanding made him feel disrespected (not the desire of wanting to be taken care of itself)
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/22 08:04 AM
0

Thank you for your input. It seems about right. He thinks it still bothers me and no one can change that significantly .. in all honestly I’m not bothered by it anymore.. as honestly I trust he’ll do the best for us
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/22 06:17 AM
0

He also said he’s lost respect for himself because of those things :( it seems like a simple recovery and yet it keeps coming up so I think I’m doing something wrong
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/22 02:26 AM
0

Thank you. I highly appreciate male input here. He often says things like “why don’t you just admit that it’s what you want” so maybe you’re right that I should own that yes I like being treated like a lady xyz but it’s not the most important thing in relationship
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/22 02:25 AM
1

Hi.. yes well recently I did express gratitude for him giving us a chance.. not sure if it constitutes bringing it up? (This was before our last talk)
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/22 02:23 AM
2

Hi yes.. if anything I think I’ve been a bit too giving lately and I feel I want to pull back a bit.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/22 02:22 AM
1

Yes.. he said those issues to him was deep disrespect and akin to cheating … but you’re right at the end of the day it’s now more of his issue. However since we’re still together I think he’s trying to work through and process it. So my question is how can I not stand in his way of that?
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/22 02:21 AM
8

Thank you! That’s exactly right. I don’t think I’m wrong for wanting those things but I was most definitely wrong for demanding and expecting that it’s a given and granted thing. Thank you for your kind suggestions.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/22 12:07 PM
5

Yes you’re on point! It is unfortunate that it took me a while to understand it but it really clicked now and I genuinely feel guilty about how I acted and am so grateful I have a chance to change . I’m waiting it out for him to reach out for now.. I’m coming to terms that he may or may not end it with me and I can’t control that decision. Either way I am immensely grateful to him for teaching me this lesson.. just hope it won’t cost me a relationship with someone I truly love :(
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/22 12:04 PM
1

So I think the problem came up about 3-4 months in at which point he chose not to discuss it (but guessing was on high alert form then on). Then it reoccurred in other forms (other expectations) around 6 month mark .. was a big fight and I said so many things I wasn’t proud of (basically made things worse by saying I expect xyz and no less). Then it recurred again maybe a month and a half later.. since then we’ve had a number of big talks. Our last big talk (apart from yesterday) was around Febr…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/22 12:01 PM
1

Thank you so so much!!! You’re on point with every point!!! And I literally was thinking of getting a journal today haha! Also went for a nice massage, had a coffee with a friend and read a book which was awesome to put my mind off things. I’m giving him space too (didn’t text or call even once today)! You’re right about my energy 100% I love all the journaling suggestions. I will do that tomorrow (it’s late here now). Thank you so so much for such an informative response. I couldn’t thank you e…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/22 11:55 AM
5

Edited
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/22 10:47 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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