When to leave ..

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2022-12-04T11:47:09+00:00

You need to decide what's acceptable and what's not. How long have you been together? Are these stressors solvable? Is he only talking about wanting to fix this stuff, or is he actually doing something?

sicrm · 2022-12-04T12:38:45+00:00

is he taking any meds and has he ever gotten his testosterone levels checked?

Jenneapolis · 2022-12-04T17:34:29+00:00

I can’t say what you should do but for me, it would really depend on two things: 1) is he making actionable progress at improving his situation, and 2) is he still making me feel loved and that he’s committed to our future. If he really just needs a few months to a year to get his stuff together, and then he will be ready, it’s probably worth waiting but after the amount of time you’ve been together, I think you need to put your cards on the table with him not in an ultimatum way, but in a this is my plan for my life way. If he says you’re not supporting him and adding to his stress, remind him that you have to look out for your own life and needs as well, not only his, and you would love to work on both of your goals together as a team.

I firmly believe most guys are aware that if they don’t propose within two years or so we are likely to leave (I’ve had men admit this to me before). That doesn’t mean they will take the action, they may just run out the clock, but they’re not gonna be surprised.

Nandemodekiru · 2022-12-05T00:14:29+00:00

I think it’s best to reiterate your timeline, and this time to not sugarcoat it. Ultimatums aren’t recommended only because the woman isn’t ready to deal with the consequences of either outcome.

You told him you wanted to be engaged by year 3. Ask for a plan of his timeline. Not “a rough idea of a plan”, like “working on his stressors”, but a full on PLAN with deadlines and actual steps to take. You can tell him that you wanted to be committed by year 3, but are now doubting if he’s ready to get married due to his lack of decision making. But you can’t wait around for him to decide to get his sh*t together either. It’s either he starts making steps NOW, or you’re going to start the process of separation. But before you give him that ultimatum, you have to be okay with leaving, and have a plan of what to do after YOU leave.

AutoModerator · 2022-12-04T11:14:50+00:00

Title: When to leave ..

Full text: I’d love some advise on my situation. I love my partner and he loves me.. we talk of the future and overall we’re good.. unfortunately, he’s been incredibly stressed due to work, health and other issues for the last year and it’s destroying our relationship (low moods affecting our time together, non existent sex life and minimal time together).. I’m now questioning if I’ll be able to marry him if this goes on). He says he wants to resolve the stress but I’m losing hope …

My question is, at what point do I support him and at what point it’s best to let go to avoid becoming a martyr?

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cohost3 · 2022-12-04T16:27:15+00:00

How long have you been together?

How old are you both?

Are the stressors going to be around long term, or is this temporary?

How long were you together before it got like this?

OkraGarden · 2022-12-09T02:31:13+00:00

In my experience, people who are asking if they should leave typically should and often do. When a relationship is strong and healthy before marriage, there are no doubts or hesitation from either person about whether marriage is a good idea. People who reported serious doubts pre-marriage are much more likely to go on to divorce. The doubts are a warning sign that the relationship isn't as good as it should be.

Title	When to leave ..
Author	Competitive-Gas3935
Upvotes	4
Comments	13
Date	December 4, 2022 11:14 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/zc767b/when_to_leave/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/when-to-leave.1142990 https://theredarchive.com/post/1142990

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